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LoganCrews (2861 KP) rated If I Stay (2014) in Movies
Sep 21, 2020
Gross. My undying love for these disgustingly quirky YA slops renders me unable to rate this the easy one star it most definitely deserves - but make no mistake, this is the worst one since... maybe 𝘔𝘦 𝘉𝘦𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘠𝘰𝘶? The type of movie that does everything wrong: sterile visually, stagnant structurally, humdrum narratively, and it doesn't help that Stacy Keach (so wonderful here) is the only one in the entire movie giving a good performance - watching the normally capable Moretz attempt to emote in this is downright hysterical, that supposedly emotional hallway screaming scene had me *cackling*. Also I'd be willing to put serious money down against anyone who can find a film with worse dialogue. "Guys play music for two reasons: to get laid, and because they got rage" is an actual piece of speech uttered in this. Much of the hilarious cringe (see: the aforementioned awful dialogue) and endearing oversentimentality I find a warm familiarity with in this genre is intact, but the sickening fetishization of death and child abuse (cardboard cutout love interest: "My parents were never there... everyone leaves me...", what the movie wants us to be like: "W O W … he's so deep and profound 😍😍") in this make it feel closer to some sick exploitation piece that also isn't good. Even if that weren't the case, this relationship and its characters are lifeless even before the death plot hits and the guy is a faceless asshole that the Moretz character is just expected to bend to the whim of - and his band is fucking *horrible*. Speaking of which, funny how cultured this thinks it is because it never shuts up about punk and classical music even though it doesn't have a precious clue about either. Should have been a slam dunk, don't know why they decided to play it so indifferently. Written by that outcast from your high school who growled at people and drew Harry Potter porn at lunch.
Phillip McSween (751 KP) rated Under Siege (1992) in Movies
Jan 25, 2021
Cheesy But Leaves An Impact
A short order cook on a navy ship has to fight off terrorists that have taken control.
Acting: 6
When I think acting chops, please believe I’m not referring to Steven Seagal. It’s rough watching him spit out lines. The majority of the other actors aren’t really any better save for an underrated performance by Tommy Lee Jones. If you’re looking for quality thespians, look elsewhere.
Beginning: 6
Characters: 7
Cinematography/Visuals: 6
There are some quality shots here, although things are a bit jumbled at times. I do have to give credit to Andrew Davis as I’m sure it was a challenge doing a movie solely below deck of a ship. I definitely wouldn’t want that challenge. Not much to be desired, I appreciated he did the best he could with the little he was given.
Conflict: 10
Entertainment Value: 7
Memorability: 7
Cheesy, but definitely leaves enough of an impact where I would watch it again. It’s a great movie to check out while folding clothes or doing any other mindless task. Steven Seagal definitely leaves behind some fun action moments that make the movie worthwhile.
Pace: 7
Plot: 7
Cheesy? Sure. Original? Absolutely. It sounds ridiculous but I have to give the story credit for trying to branch out and try something new, especially during the early 90’s when martial arts movies were all the rage. It’s not winning any Oscars, but I’ve seen worse stories from movies that have tried harder.
Resolution: 10
Great ending that brings the movie to a nice close. I like that it fits perfectly in line with the rest of the cheesiness of the movie. Great way to wrap things up.
Overall: 73
For what it’s worth, Under Siege doesn’t do anything exceptionally well, but it doesn’t do anything terribly bad either. It’s a fun movie if you have time to kill. Definitely one of my favorite Tommy Lee Jones roles.
Acting: 6
When I think acting chops, please believe I’m not referring to Steven Seagal. It’s rough watching him spit out lines. The majority of the other actors aren’t really any better save for an underrated performance by Tommy Lee Jones. If you’re looking for quality thespians, look elsewhere.
Beginning: 6
Characters: 7
Cinematography/Visuals: 6
There are some quality shots here, although things are a bit jumbled at times. I do have to give credit to Andrew Davis as I’m sure it was a challenge doing a movie solely below deck of a ship. I definitely wouldn’t want that challenge. Not much to be desired, I appreciated he did the best he could with the little he was given.
Conflict: 10
Entertainment Value: 7
Memorability: 7
Cheesy, but definitely leaves enough of an impact where I would watch it again. It’s a great movie to check out while folding clothes or doing any other mindless task. Steven Seagal definitely leaves behind some fun action moments that make the movie worthwhile.
Pace: 7
Plot: 7
Cheesy? Sure. Original? Absolutely. It sounds ridiculous but I have to give the story credit for trying to branch out and try something new, especially during the early 90’s when martial arts movies were all the rage. It’s not winning any Oscars, but I’ve seen worse stories from movies that have tried harder.
Resolution: 10
Great ending that brings the movie to a nice close. I like that it fits perfectly in line with the rest of the cheesiness of the movie. Great way to wrap things up.
Overall: 73
For what it’s worth, Under Siege doesn’t do anything exceptionally well, but it doesn’t do anything terribly bad either. It’s a fun movie if you have time to kill. Definitely one of my favorite Tommy Lee Jones roles.
SAMURAI SHODOWN II
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Kristy H (1252 KP) rated Greenfield in Books
Feb 13, 2018
Jack Clayton is retiring from the police force and dreaming about a calm life in retirement. All that changes when he meets Officer Yolanda Tilden, a young hotshot officer on the force he's just left. Once a prospective FBI Detective, Yolanda had to leave the FBI after getting injured and she's not happy about it. Jack's former boss, Chief Varner, convinces (tricks?) Jack into coming back for a special assignment to work with Yolanda for thirty days as a mentor. At first, the set-in-his-ways Jack and the angry Yolanda clash, but eventually the two work together on a drug case and start forming a true partnership.
Full disclosure - I only read this book because the author is a friend of a friend, and my friend bought the book for me. I knew the author wrote the book in his spare time, so I wasn't exactly sure what to expect.
The first part of the book wasn't my favorite. It lagged and was totally unrealistic (let's completely solve the drug wars in 48 hours!), but did a good job of setting up Jack and Yolanda's friendship and partnership. The writing can be a little stilted at times (must Yolanda say Jack's name every time she speaks to him?), with a few typos. Still, as I thought about it, the plot certainly wasn't any more outlandish than the New Adult romances that are all the rage right now.
Things certainly improved with Part 2, and I found myself staying up late to find out what happened. Part 2 sets up what appears to the "Cold Case Series" that Krammes writes (he has several books after this one). I really enjoyed Part 2 and found the plot to be engaging and interesting. While Jack and Yolanda's relationship is still a little far-fetched, the two are rather endearing at times, and amusing. The mystery portion was interesting and very solid. Overall, it was a fun book and Part 2 probably pulled it to a solid 3 to 3.5 stars. I look forward to reading the next one, since it's basically set in my hometown!
Full disclosure - I only read this book because the author is a friend of a friend, and my friend bought the book for me. I knew the author wrote the book in his spare time, so I wasn't exactly sure what to expect.
The first part of the book wasn't my favorite. It lagged and was totally unrealistic (let's completely solve the drug wars in 48 hours!), but did a good job of setting up Jack and Yolanda's friendship and partnership. The writing can be a little stilted at times (must Yolanda say Jack's name every time she speaks to him?), with a few typos. Still, as I thought about it, the plot certainly wasn't any more outlandish than the New Adult romances that are all the rage right now.
Things certainly improved with Part 2, and I found myself staying up late to find out what happened. Part 2 sets up what appears to the "Cold Case Series" that Krammes writes (he has several books after this one). I really enjoyed Part 2 and found the plot to be engaging and interesting. While Jack and Yolanda's relationship is still a little far-fetched, the two are rather endearing at times, and amusing. The mystery portion was interesting and very solid. Overall, it was a fun book and Part 2 probably pulled it to a solid 3 to 3.5 stars. I look forward to reading the next one, since it's basically set in my hometown!
Phillip McSween (751 KP) rated Bad Santa (2003) in Movies
Jul 26, 2019
"I'm On My Fucking Lunch Break!"
A crook poses as a mall Santa over the holidays to pull off a quick score.
Acting: 10
Billy Bob Thornton is, dare I say, brilliant in his role as Willie Stokes. His rage alone makes for a number of hilarious moments throughout the movie. In one of my favorite scenes, a kid walks up to him in the food court because he is still in his Santa pants. After the kid continues to pester him, Willie finally screams, “I’m on my fucking lunch break!” as pieces of food fly out of his mouth. It is still to this day one of the most memorably hilarious scenes I’ve ever seen.
Beginning: 10
Characters: 10
Just like Willie, Bad Santa features a bunch of broken characters that are messed up and dysfunctional. They are the reason this movie works as its fun watching everyone walk around so screwed up. Screwed up people have a tendency to leave a mark on scenes and this movie is no exception. Some of my favorite scenes involve the senile Grandma played by Cloris Leachman. Like most of these characters. You really just don’t know what to expect from her.
Cinematography/Visuals: 8
Conflict: 10
Entertainment Value: 9
This category fell short of a perfect score for me due to the fact that, while I think it’s absolutely hysterical, I also understand that this is a specific type of humor that may not cater to everyone. Speaking for myself, it had me in stitches. It is one of those comedies that’s just hard to forget.
Memorability: 10
Pace: 6
Plot: 10
I will admit, the story is a bit of a stretch in certain spots, but otherwise very creative. Its originality allows me to say that I have seen anything like it before it or since. The best part is though it follows the story of an alcoholic crook, it manages to somehow still stay within the spirit of Christmas.
Resolution: 10
Overall: 93
If you’re not watching Bad Santa during the holidays, you’re doing something wrong. It’s about as ridiculous as a softcore porn movie, but if we’re being honest, aren’t most Christmas movies? Ah, Christmas and porn. Yup, that just happened.
Acting: 10
Billy Bob Thornton is, dare I say, brilliant in his role as Willie Stokes. His rage alone makes for a number of hilarious moments throughout the movie. In one of my favorite scenes, a kid walks up to him in the food court because he is still in his Santa pants. After the kid continues to pester him, Willie finally screams, “I’m on my fucking lunch break!” as pieces of food fly out of his mouth. It is still to this day one of the most memorably hilarious scenes I’ve ever seen.
Beginning: 10
Characters: 10
Just like Willie, Bad Santa features a bunch of broken characters that are messed up and dysfunctional. They are the reason this movie works as its fun watching everyone walk around so screwed up. Screwed up people have a tendency to leave a mark on scenes and this movie is no exception. Some of my favorite scenes involve the senile Grandma played by Cloris Leachman. Like most of these characters. You really just don’t know what to expect from her.
Cinematography/Visuals: 8
Conflict: 10
Entertainment Value: 9
This category fell short of a perfect score for me due to the fact that, while I think it’s absolutely hysterical, I also understand that this is a specific type of humor that may not cater to everyone. Speaking for myself, it had me in stitches. It is one of those comedies that’s just hard to forget.
Memorability: 10
Pace: 6
Plot: 10
I will admit, the story is a bit of a stretch in certain spots, but otherwise very creative. Its originality allows me to say that I have seen anything like it before it or since. The best part is though it follows the story of an alcoholic crook, it manages to somehow still stay within the spirit of Christmas.
Resolution: 10
Overall: 93
If you’re not watching Bad Santa during the holidays, you’re doing something wrong. It’s about as ridiculous as a softcore porn movie, but if we’re being honest, aren’t most Christmas movies? Ah, Christmas and porn. Yup, that just happened.