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Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (2005)
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (2005)
2005 | Comedy, Family, Sci-Fi
Visuals, Acting, Deep Roy (0 more)
Missing some sentimental value (I prefer the original) (0 more)
C is for Candy
Contains spoilers, click to show
And yes, I certainly mean eye candy. Johnny Depp is gorgeous despite the makeup artists’ attempts to make him seem pale and awkward. My brain isn’t working properly due to lack of sleep so I’ll just go ahead and warn you that this is more a regurgitation than a review. Read at your own risk, because I even give the entire ending of the movie away…

This is the story of Charlie Bucket, an impoverished but genuinely good-natured child. His dream is one of millions: to win a Golden Ticket, and tour Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory in the hopes of obtaining an even bigger prize. If this plot sounds familiar, it’s because you’ve seen Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, or have read the book. I profess my ignorance, for I haven’t read the book Roald Dahl wrote, and therefore have no idea which movie version adheres more strictly to the original text.

Let’s move on by more closely examining Burton’s version. Despite some of the world’s most recalcitrant children winning the four other tickets, Charlie lucks out and becomes the recipient of the last Golden Ticket. This brings great joy to his family and even makes the bed-ridden Grandpa Joe ambulatory again. I love Charlie’s family, especially because his Dad works in a toothpaste factory but everyone in the family has nasty teeth.

The glorious day of the tour arrives and each child shows up with a parental or grandparental guardian. They are introduced first to Willy Wonka by means of a puppet show, which ends in a glorious and unintentional fire. With the smoldering puppets dying disturbingly in the background, Wonka appears with cue cards, giving the impression that the man has no idea how to socially interact. The group then enters the factory.

The first child to be eliminated from the contest is Augustus Gloop. The group has been given free reign of a room made entirely of candy. Augustus cannot resist the lake of chocolate, and he falls in. He is sucked up a tube that leads to the fudge room. Then the Oompa Loompas appear and perform a song engineered for this particular predictable tragedy.

The Oompa Loompas in Burton’s version are short, and they do not have orange hair, but they all have the same face and body. Deep Roy, the actor portraying the Oompa Loompas, deserved an Oscar for effort in my book, for the special features indicate how very involved he was with this production. The songs sung by the Oompa Loompas varied significantly from those in the older version. In fact, I enjoyed how each song of admonishment involved a specific genre of music.

Next Violet Beauregard, the competitive one, is turned into a blueberry by chewing gum. And then we have the case of the sad and supremely spoiled Veruca Salt, who ends up getting thrown down a garbage chute by some very judgmental and highly trained squirrels. After each young lady has been expelled from the contest, the Oompa Loompas say adieu with a musical number.

Throughout the film, Wonka has flashbacks about his father. It seems the elder Wonka was a dentist, and he forbade the young Willy to eat candy. Several scenes show Willy Wonka defying the will of his father, which ultimately led Willy to be a world-renowned chocolatier. Though it was nice to have this subplot as an explanation for some of Wonka’s erratic behavior, I found that I like Gene Wilder’s portrayal of Willy Wonka better. He was whimsical and strange, but the film and the actor seemed to offer no explanation as to how he got that way.

Mike Teavee, a young boy with the attention span of a gnat on amphetamines, is the last of the factory’s victims. He decides to teleport himself into a television screen, which I’m sure seemed like a good idea at the time. Teavee is shown in peril as an Oompa Loompa flips the channels. Now incredibly small, Wonka decides that the best remedy for Mike is the taffy pulling machine.

Charlie is the only child left, and Wonka ushers Charlie and Grandpa Joe into the glass elevator. According to the button, they are going up and out. Indeed, they do, eventually stopping when they crash through the roof of the Bucket house. The grand prize is revealed: Willy Wonka is giving Charlie the factory. This becomes impossible when Wonka forces Charlie to choose between factory and family. Eventually, Wonka reconciles his Daddy issues and allows Charlie’s family to stay at the factory.

The visual effects in this film were amazing. As mentioned previously, Deep Roy was incredible as the face of the many Oompa Loompas. I thought the child actors in this film were also impressive in how they perfectly captured their respective vices. Overall, this was a good film. And yet I still miss moments from the older film, especially the poem with “the grisly reaper mowing.” Call me sentimental…
  
The first half of The Serpent and the Moon mainly deals with Francois I's reign as king and has little to do with the love triangle. Frankly, the whole book itself hasn't much to do with the love triangle or "one of the great love stories of all time," but more to do with the political intrigue of Henri I and his father's reigns. Oh, and lest I forget, Henri, Diane, and both of their symbols, monograms, etc. I honestly don't know what the whole fascination of that was all about, but it showed up everywhere.

On page 187 the princess tells us that it is a man's way of thinking that Diane wouldn't have become Henri's mistress if he hadn't become dauphin. I disagree, it is a realist's view, and frankly, I think it's fully possible that was how it started. Yes, maybe she was flattered by his attention too, but to consider having him as a lover in light of how much she was in his life growing up, it's a bit creepy. Oedipus comes to mind. I believe he was infatuated with her from a young age and it most likely progressed into love, for both of them. I envision her grabbing the chance at being the mistress of a king and being older, she knew how to mould and persuade him. Whether or not it was a true love story, I really don't know; I'm not sure anyone does and I don't care all that much.

As many other reviewers have stated, there is an obvious bias. The readers are warned in the introduction, but even if you know that, there's still the possibility that the work as a whole might be neutral. Unfortunately, that's not the case. Maybe if it had only been a slight bias, I wouldn't have cared so much, but when an author heaps praise on one person and how they accomplish everything, and then turn around and bash someone else for the exact same thing. Well, that's just hypocrisy.

From the book, the author would have you believe that Diane de Poitiers got to where she was merely by being a good, honest, gracious, and pious woman and Catherine de' Medici did it by being a cold, heartless, evil, spiteful person. I'm sorry but you cannot have climbed to the heights Diane did, especially in those times, without being conniving in one way or the other. I'm sure she did the same things Catherine did, so quit holding Diane up on a pedestal; she's really not a goddess, just a woman. Diane is a white light, Catherine is black as death and there isn't any grey between them for most of the book. By the end of the book I really took the "history" lightly, mainly that of these two women, more than anything else; it was just an unfair assessment. And with the author's snarky and catty remarks directed towards Catherine, saying she has a "fat little heart," well, that was just uncalled for. Then at the end, her words were so disgusting about Catherine's behavior towards Diane, saying how petty she was and she did things purely due to "feminine spite". Catherine could have done much worse to her but she didn't! Of course, Ms. Perfect D. was always so respectful and exemplary of Catherine. Give me a break. Maybe some of the things said in the book were true about both women, but then again, maybe not. Most is lost to history.

If Princess Michael of Kent's plan was for me to sympathize and idolize Diane de Poitiers, as she does, it backfired. Now I don't ever care to ever hear about her again, and I love history of all kinds. On the other hand, I have already ordered two books about Catherine de' Medici from the library. Most likely the opposite of what she wanted. I honestly don't blame Catherine if she was bitter, who wouldn't be in that situation? Even if it was a different time, circumstance, and an arranged marriage? I refuse to believe Diane was this perfect being, a goddess, virtuous as can be, a victim - nobody is all these things and I don't know why the author cannot see any imperfections and insists on romanticizing her.

Even though I hated how biased this book was, I still appreciate the amount of research this must have taken, it was fairly well-written in form, and there was loads of information. I'd only recommend this to Catherine haters, loathers, or serious dislikers. With the princess's flair for the dramatic and speculation on feelings and actions, she might want to focus on writing works of fiction instead. I have no desire to read anything by this author again.
  
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RəX Regent (349 KP) rated Saving Private Ryan (1998) in Movies

Feb 25, 2019 (Updated Feb 25, 2019)  
Saving Private Ryan (1998)
Saving Private Ryan (1998)
1998 | Action, Drama, War
Groundbreaker mired in slop
Contains spoilers, click to show
Regarded as one of the best war films ever made, it certainly qualifies. The opening twenty minutes are still as breathtaking, shocking and disturbing realistic as they were back in 1998. It is hard to imagine that it has now been over twelve years since Saving Private Ryan broke the mold of World War II film making.

Winner of five Academy Awards, including Best Director for Spielberg, Best Cinematography, and Sound, which was astonishing, even by today's standards, it failed to win Best Picture, losing out to Shakespeare In Love. Shakespeare In Love! Don't get me wrong, it's a good film, but easily forgettable compared to Ryan, only proving yet again that if you touch upon the British monarchy you get Oscars.

The film is a fictional account of four brothers, all serving in the U.S. Army, three of which were killed in action on or around the D-Day landings. The fourth, James Ryan played by Matt Damon is somewhere in Europe, and Tom Hanks with his platoon are sent to bring him home, to spare his mother anymore heartache.

Tom Hanks, who was also snubbed at the 1998 Oscars for his perfect performance as Captain Miller, the everyman who was losing himself in the horrors of war, underplayed his role perfectly. He is believable on every level, emotionally, physically and has a sense of subtly with makes him of Hollywood's greats.

The action is visceral, gritty and horrifying. But never played for crass effect. Scenes of soldiers intestines spilling out, limbs flying a sunder and brutal killing left, right and centre are recreated for one purpose. To truly demonstrate the horrors of war, and to change our perceptions of the global conflict which had almost become a joke, a setting for gung- ho action films, where the Yanks reign supreme and single-handedly win the war.

This shows troops crying, hurting and making decisions which should not be made under any moral circumstances, but you understand why, whether you agree or not. There is no doubt that Spielberg is not innocent of making an American film, but it is about as even-handed as you might expect, with the exception of Tora! Tora! Tora! or The Longest Day.

So, the action is first-rate, graphic and perfectly toned to recreate to horror of the last century's greatest and most of destructive conflicts. But that's only half the story.

The other half is the talking, reminiscing and the almost sepia tone is more than a little cloying. The U.S. General's monologues, which seem to consist almost entirely of Lincoln quotations are overly sentimental, erring on the side of sloppy patriotism rather than Jingoism, which is hardly a bad thing but it isn't good either.

The civilian scenes, such as Mrs Ryan, washing a plate as she sees the car drive down to road to inform her of her sons deaths are so sentimental that they jar against the realism of the war scenes. It's not so much contrast as it is as extreme as black and white.

The action is obviously interspersed, as all war films are, with rest stops and moments of talking, pondering etc., but the scenes drag on too long and disrupt the tone of the film. On the other hand, the direction is brilliant when explaining the situations during and around the action, but Spielberg seemed to think that we needed these sloppy and often boring moments, such as The Church, and the outside the cafe in Ramelle, to express the emotional torment of the characters, but I think that these scenes are so boring and pointless that I' can hardly remember them, as my attention drifts off during them! But I do have an understanding of the soldiers, and this was achieved, quite adorably without these scenes.

Overall, this is a film of two halves if ever there was one. The battle scenes and the journey through war-torn France are brilliant, gritty and educational, but the scenes of American sentimentality are in danger of derailing the whole film. Many feel that is the best war film of all time. I do not agree, favouring Black Hawk Down over this, but I would be remiss if I didn't acknowledge that Blank Hawk Down owes a debt to Saving Private Ryan, by opening the door to the gritty war dramas of the naughties and to the style itself.

This film is on of the most important contributions to cinema ever, and has done so much to finally show to true nature of WWII and war in general. But even though I would rate this 10/10 if it was just for the war scenes, the slop just gets in the way and devalues what should have been perfection.
  
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Kirk Bage (1775 KP) rated Moonlighting in TV

Aug 6, 2020  
Moonlighting
Moonlighting
1985 | Comedy, Drama, Mystery, Romance, Classics
7
8.0 (26 Ratings)
TV Show Rating
Contains spoilers, click to show
Another dip into the retro TV archive as part of that odd period in lockdown when all I could do for my watching fix was find old shows with full episodes on You Tube. My favourite show when I was a teenager happened to be one of those, with most of seasons 1 and 5 out there, and a small selection from the middle years.

If you were to make a time capsule to show aliens what the mid to late 80s looked like, look no further than this madcap rom-com drama that ran for 66 episodes between 1985 and 1989. The shoulder pads, the hairdos, the slip on shoes, the large chunks of cheesiness, it’s all there. Some of the coloured silks Maddie Hayes (Cybill Shepherd) wears have to be seen to be believed.

It was the first show to get free reign creatively from a network, with ABC trusting Glenn Gordon Carol, fresh from success with Remington Steele, to create something cool and hip. At the peak of its success it was costing $1.6m per episode, with Bruce Willis’ pay check becoming a big chunk of that, as his ego inflated and his star rose.

They auditioned close to 600 actors for the role of glib, fast talking sleuth David Addison, before taking a risk on an out of work nobody the producers had heard singing karaoke in an LA bar. The phenomenal buzz around Bruce Willis in 1985 is hard to imagine now, but he was literally the biggest star on TV, and once Die Hard came along in 1988, he gave the movie star thing a good go too.

Famous for its post-modern take on episode content, with overlapping dialogue, direct address to camera, in jokes and endless references to current events and the show itself, it was a knowingly self-conscious misfit. Nothing had ever been like this. Nothing, even close. It was funny, cool, had mass appeal and could seemingly do no wrong, breaking ratings records all over the place.

But all was not paradise on set. Shepherd and Willis were never pals, and at the worst actively despised one another, often refusing to film scenes if they thought the other one was too much the focus – which in Shepherd’s case was often a weird anachronistic soft focus, that attempted to make her look like a vintage movie star. They argued, fell out, made up and threw tantrums just like the characters they played. And scripts for the unusual hour long format were often so late, they filmed filler scenes whilst they were being finished on set!

This allowed for an unparalleled voice in American TV land. They got away with some very terse comments and innuendo bordering on smut, that slipped under the network radar, simply because the show was being edited minutes before it was shown. By season four it was really falling apart, as episodes got more surreal and used the breaking of the fourth wall more often, in a desperate attempt just to keep going.

Ostensibly, it was a detective show. But it was never about the cases. The sleuthing was only a background to the will they won’t they romance of Maddie and David, facilitated by the ever present Allyce Beasley as Agnes DiPesto, the rhyming receptionist, that was the only other cast member to appear in all 66 shows apart from the two stars. Early on the mystery plots and crimes to be solved were taken semi seriously; with a peak in season three where it actually approached proper drama. But by the end it was all about Willis goofing around, at the expense of any recognisable story.

Let’s face it, looking back on it now it has aged a whole bunch in a lot of bad ways. You aren’t really going to indulge in it for anything other than nostalgia reasons. But I was a huge, huge fan, and so for me it was a real trip to see it again. I never missed it as a kid, and would sulk if anything threatened to stop me watching it as it aired. I had every episode taped on VHS and could quote entire episodes, I had watched them so much.

It all ended too soon for me, but not soon enough for them. Shepherd got pregnant, Willis took the break to go and make some mid budget action film, and the rest is history. To this day, footage of them reminiscing about it is a fascinating but awkward watch, as they clearing still can’t agree on anything and thinly veil their contempt for each other. Willis’ ego does not come out of it well, but David Addison will always remain the one character that formed my personality via TV in those days, for better or worse.
  
WizBang!
WizBang!
2020 | Card Game
The current COVID-19 lockdown has really placed a burden on gaming with groups of 3 or more. Luckily, not all games are intended for medium or larger groups. I can sometimes game with up to 4 players but I am mostly able to game with my wife… when the kids (rarely) nap or are asleep for the night. So when I saw that WizBang! is a card dueling game for 2 players only I jumped at the chance to preview it. How did it fare for my wife and I? Keep reading.

A-la-kalhambra! A wizard’s duel has been accepted between you and your rival. Based on the whims of judges wanting displays of specific and ever-changing magic-types, you must cast a flurry of impressive spells to best your opponent. The duel will last exactly 6 rounds and the greatest spellslinger will reign supreme.

DISCLAIMER: We were provided a prototype copy of this game for the purposes of this review. These are preview copy components, and the final components may be different from these shown. Also, it is not my intention to detail every rule in the game. You are invited to download the rulebook, back the game through the Kickstarter campaign launching in August, or purchase through any retailers stocking it after fulfillment. -T

WizBang! is a two-player card dueling game akin to a mashup of War and Crazy 8s. To setup, shuffle the large deck of WizBang! cards, and deal 30 to each player. Similarly, shuffle the small deck of Extra Trick Up My Sleeve cards and deal four to each player. Roll the magic die, place it on the Round 1 section of the round tracking card and the game is ready to begin!

A game of WizBang! is short, sweet, and light on rules. Perfect for that lockdown date night. The game lasts 6 rounds, and each round consists of playing five cards. First things first – roll that magic die. Yellow is Shiny magic, green is Slimy magic, and purple is Weird magic. This means that for the duration of the round, the judges only care about the values that correspond with the rolled magic type. So if Shiny is rolled, each card played (a la War) will compare Shiny values. Highest number wins both cards to the player’s VP stack.

However, Extra Trick Up My Sleeve cards can be played at any time, and can affect either yourself or your opponent. I have included some of those below. These cards do not count for VP at game end, but can certainly shake things up quite a bit during a round. In addition to these special cards, included in the WizBang deck are several Wizard cards that change the preferred magic type for the round or just for one trick. Once all six rounds have been played players count up their VP Spell cards and majority wins! If no majority: SUDDEN DEATH round.

Components. As I mentioned previously, we were provided a prototype copy of the game, but were assured that it is very close to the final version. This game is a bunch of cards and one die. The cards are nice and a little glossy, with sometimes funny art, and even better inside jokes on them. The die is nice quality and easy to interpret which magic source is being judged. All in all the components are good.

I also stated previously that this game is quick. The box says around 10-15 minutes and that’s spot on. I can see seasoned players being able to knock out a game in 5, but for the first few games we were in that 10-15 minute range. What I like about the game is that it is quick. We were needing something to fill a short timeframe, so I broke this one out, taught it to my wife, and played through once or twice before a child needed Mommy. So it definitely fits that bill.

However, the game play itself is a little lacking. Don’t get me wrong – I would play this again, and I would even use it to help teach my son (4 years old) several gaming concepts, but without using the cheat cards. It is basically a combination of War (play a card, winner takes both) and Crazy 8s/UNO (constantly changing trumps) with a wizard duel theme. I love wizards/fantasy themes in my games, so I am still somewhat drawn to this, but ultimately, if I want to play War or Crazy 8s, I might simply break out a normal deck of playing cards to do so.

The game is not at all bad. I really want to stress this. Just for gamers, it is a bit elementary. This would be great in a library’s game collection, or for educational purposes, or even simply as a quick filler game if you want a theme for your War/Crazy 8s hankerin. Need a game for younger gamers? Yes, this. Need a quick game for grandparents or in-law nongamers? This. Don’t know what to play and you’re running out of time (happens to me OFTEN)? This. If you need something like WizBang! in your collection to fill a 2-player fantasy card game hole, definitely check this one out.
  
Doctor Strange (2016)
Doctor Strange (2016)
2016 | Action, Adventure, Sci-Fi
One heck of a ride
Contains spoilers, click to show
I went to see Doctor Strange last night and let me tell you, it was one hell of a ride. I saw it in 3D which is the only way I will watch movies nowadays, because its so immersive and makes the movie really come alive, at least in my opinion. Marvel Studios did a really amazing job on capturing the essence of this movie. If you want a good idea on how it is, think The Matrix meets Inception, meets Harry Potter.

If you don't know the story of Doctor Strange, well let me fill you in. Dr. Steven Strange was a brilliant neurosurgeon, and an egotist. In the movie, we find Doctor Strange (played by Benedict Cumberbatch) washing up to perform brain surgery. His prideful, ways have him showboating the surgery by not waiting for any imaging equipment and dislodging a bullet from the brain of a person who was thought to be dead.

After he has preformed a miracle surgery, he is rushing through traffic to go to a gala, when he hits another car, and crashes. In the process of crashing he crushes his hands, the very tools to which he was made famous for. After countless surgeries and experimental procedures he is left in destitute.

He then begins to wander the city and comes across a man who had sever spinal cord injury and was supposed to never walk again, but was and playing basketball, who tells him of a spiritual retreat that he went on in order to heal himself. Using what money he has left Dr. Strange flies to Kathmandu to search out this mystical temple and its healer.

He wanders the streets of Kathmandu, looking for any signs of where this holy temple may be. Getting desperate, and weary of looking. He makes a fated turn down a back alley street, where he is assaulted by a group of Pick Pockets, who target him as easy prey. They are quickly dispatched as Mordo (played by Chiwetel Ejiofor) beats them down, thus saving Strange from certain death by the hands of petty thugs.

Mordo takes Dr. Strange to the temple, explaining that The Ancient One (played by Tilda Swinton) may be able to help him, but that he would have to be very humble in asking for help. Dr. Strange with his medical, and scientific knowledge, begins to dismiss the teachings and workings of The Ancient One, as no more than metaphysical BS. The Ancient One then sends Dr. Strange on a quick out of body journey throughout the multiverse the whole time narrating the journey with deep wisdom. And then quickly after he is brought back from this journey he is banished to the streets and the doors locked behind him. Begging and pleading for hours, Mordo convinces The Ancient One to accept him for training.

Through what can be assumed as months of training, Dr. Steven Strange begins learning the mystical arts and excelling at a phenomenal rate. While studying he discovers The Eye of Agamotto. A powerful talisman capable of augmenting time and space. He then uses it to reveal the missing pages of a manuscript, and discovers that The Ancient One has been harnessing energies from a dark dimension to prolong her life, and a realm of a dimensional being known as Dormammu. Dormammu wants nothing else than to absorb the Earth into his being and make it part of the dark dimension. Doctor Strange then learns that Dormammu's henchmen are devising a plot to overtake 3 power houses throughout the world, in order to allow his reign of power to be complete.

Doctor Strange then must battle Kaecilius (played by Mads Mikkelsen) a former student of The Ancient One, and top disciple of Dormammu, for control of the Sanctum's (three mystical power houses that create a magical shield that protects the earth). This is the point in the movie where Steven begins to really take point and understand the extent of the power that he has learned. An epic magical battle of the wills ensues where Dr. Strange, Mordo, and Kaecillius, all take the the streets of New York in 'Mirror Dimension' where Kaecillius bends space and time to create an augmented reality (if you have seen Inception this is where they flip the world upside down and sideways and things get really visually intense), The battle of wills continues until finally The Ancient One joins the fight and battles her former pupil in a no holds battle. She is then critically injured and all of reality returns to normal. As she lays dying in a hospital room, she and Strange exchange an emotional yet sagely goodbye on the Astral Plane.

Doctor Strange returns to the New York Sanctum only to find that it had been destroyed. He and Mordo go to Hong Kong, the where they discover that the last Sanctum has fallen and that Dormammu is in the process of over taking the Earth with help from his lackey Kaecillius. Acting on instinct and whim, Doctor Strange uses The Eye of Agamotto to turn back time and restore the city and Sanctum back to its original form, when Kaecillius breaks the spell and concentration of Doctor Strange. DS then flies into the heart of the dark dimension bringing along with him The Eye of Agamotto, where he then traps Dormammu and himself in an endless time loop. Driving Dormammu mad realizing that he is trapped inside of time and no longer existing outside of time. Strange strikes a bargain that Dormammu will retreat from the Earth and take with him all of his followers never to return again, to which a defeated and angry Dormammu agrees and calls back his forces. The movie ends with Doctor Strange taking up the mantel of Sorcerer Supreme.
  
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Chris Sawin (602 KP) rated Friday the 13th (2009) in Movies

Jun 20, 2019 (Updated Jun 20, 2019)  
Friday the 13th (2009)
Friday the 13th (2009)
2009 | Horror
8
6.6 (22 Ratings)
Movie Rating
**I wrote this review a decade ago. I was going to change some stuff (mostly the last couple lines of the last paragraph), but thought it was too crude and hilarious to remove. Hopefully you feel the same way. Thanks for reading.**


In 1980, Pamela Voorhees set out to kill all the counselors at Camp Crystal Lake. Several years ago, the counselors did nothing as Mrs. Voorhees' son, Jason, drowned in the lake. Now, as the camp is about to re-open, Mrs. Voorhees has returned to seek revenge for her son and she only has one more victim before she accomplishes that goal. Unfortunately for Mrs. Voorhees, she didn't count on this particular camp counselor decapitating her and ending her reign of terror once and for all. Unbeknownst to anyone at the time, Jason was still alive and witnessed his mother's gruesome death. Now, in the present day, Jason is the one who seeks revenge and anyone who even comes near Camp Crystal Lake is at risk of feeling his onslaught.
It's been something like five and a half years since we last saw Jason Voorhees in the theater. So was it worth the wait? Does the remake measure up to the rest of the franchise? Is it a remake worth seeing at all? Does it continue the trend with 2009 being a strong year for the horror genre? The short answer to all of these questions is yes.


I've always been partial to the Friday the 13th franchise. Jason Voorhees has always been my favorite when it comes slasher films. So I was beyond excited by the time today finally rolled around. The film opens with a flashback that chronicles what would be the ending to the original film. Jump to the present day. Some kids decide to hike out into the woods to have some fun and wind up about a half mile from Camp Blood. Everything is fun and games until one of them turns up missing. The survivors wind up exploring and get picked off one by one while Jason wears a bag over his head. After the scene in the trailer where Jason runs towards the girl on the ground and swings his machete, we get a black screen with "Friday the 13th" in red plastered across it.

Six weeks later, Clay is looking for his sister, Whitney. She was one of the victims of the attack we just witnessed. It seems as though everyone has given up hope looking for her except him. Meanwhile, Trent and his friends are going up to his dad's cabin for the weekend which just so happens to reside on Camp Crystal Lake. It's basically just more pigs being sent out to slaughter from there. Jason's bag gets pulled off right before he disposes of one of his victims in a barn. It's there that he stumbles across a hockey mask and things begin to pick up from there.
The film definitely delivers in all of the elements that make up the formula to a Friday the 13th film. There's plenty of T&A and sex for any sexhound. I haven't seen any R-rated film with this much nudity and sexual content in quite a while. The kills are also pretty satisfactory for a Friday fan. I think Trent's death is probably the most memorable, but I'm partial to Amanda's death because it was an interesting twist on the sleeping bag kill. Officer Bracke's kill was also a favorite of mine. Then, of course, there's Jason's death. It's interesting since it seems obvious how things are going to turn out for Jason, but it winds up happening in a round-a-bout way. Something is thrown in there to throw the audience off and that not many would see coming. Kind of like a, "Oh, maybe he'll die this way instead," kind of thing. Thinking back on it, it also felt like a throwback to one of the earlier sequels, which is pretty cool.

We can't finish this review without talking about Derek Mears as the man behind the hockey mask. I feel like he did a great job. I prefer him over Ken Kirzinger in Freddy Vs Jason. He kind of reminded me as a cross between C.J. Graham(part VI) and Kane Hodder(parts VII-IX). He also ran at times, which may put some people off. I actually enjoyed the running quite a bit. It reminded me of Jason in The Final Chapter, which is my favorite F13 film. He had the body movements down to perfection and is a worthy addition to the list of actors who have donned the hockey mask.

My one complaint is that it seemed like it was hard to see what was going on in certain scenes. The camera would be too shaky or scenes wouldn't have enough lighting and be too dark. It's really a minor complaint though as it usually only lasted a few seconds when it did occur.

So, all in all, I feel like it was well worth the wait for this film. I am really hoping it does well because I would welcome sequels with open arms. The remake follows the Friday the 13th formula extremely well. Right down to the ending. I guess the only thing that's not like some of the previous sequels is the acting, which seems to be top notch for a slasher film. As a Friday the 13th fan, I'm more than satisfied with the remake. To tell the truth, it was just nice to see a film with Jason Voorhees in theaters again. And as I've told quite a few friends, the feeling I had after walking out of the theater was equivalent to the way I feel after I blow my load. Not many films can plaster that on their movie poster, but this one could. And really, that's the biggest compliment of all.
  
Quests & Cannons
Quests & Cannons
2021 | Adventure, Animals, Exploration, Fantasy, Nautical
Fantasy Yarharrr! The isles have been borne and offer wondrous resources, but only for one o’ ye. Gather yer factions and fight for control and survival, or suffer a fate worse than death… which, in this case, is extinction! Okay, this is way less dramatic, but the stakes are high when bunnies, eagles, and piggies battle on the high seas for control of the islands and assurance of their race’s survival.

Quests & Cannons is a giant melting pot of mechanics rolled up into a cute little package with an interesting modular board with multiple setup options. In it, players take control of one of the aforementioned animal races and board their ships to claim islands and exploit their resources. The first player to amass 15 or 20 prosperity (VP) by the end of the game will reign victorious!

DISCLAIMER: We were provided a prototype copy of this game for the purposes of this review. These are preview copy components, and I do not know for sure if the final components will be any different from these shown. Also, it is not my intention to detail every rule in the game, as there are just too many. You are invited to download the rulebook, back the game through the Kickstarter campaign, or through any retailers stocking it after fulfillment. -T


There are so many steps to setup, and about a thousand bits and pieces, so I will save both your eyes and my fingers explaining. However, once setup, it should look somewhat similar to the photo below. Each player receives their own upgradeable ship board to track resources, action points, and other game-necessary components, along with a specific character and matching boat token.
On a turn, players will have three action points they may spend in any order on the following actions: Movement, Gather, Attack. Movement is one nautical hex in any direction per action point used, unless a player uses one of their sails. Sails add one hex to a movement and is spent for the rest of the round. The thing to keep in mind with movement is that different tiles affect movement in different ways, so luckily reference cards are included in the game. Once a ship discovers a new island, the player receives one coin and a Quest card in addition to flipping over the question mark Island Feature Tokens. These tokens show specific resources, which Quest cards require to be completed, at specific locations on the board.

Players can spend an action point to Gather resources from an island. Players are able to fill up their ships’ holds with as much of the resource as they wish, and it can be replaced with other resources on future turns.

Map Clues are cards that can be worked on during play, similar to Quest cards, and usually require an action point to be spent. These are special circumstances, and the action points are not available to be spent on every turn. Similar special circumstances include visits to Outposts, Trading Posts, and Starting Spaces. These spaces allow players to buy and sell items, and upgrade and repair ships.

The last option for action point spending is by attacking. A player may Attack another player when they share the same space on the board. The attacking player spends an action point to fire their cannons equipped on their ship. The ammo is tracked and represented by ammo dice. Once rolled, the attacker scores hull damage for every four pips rolled. If the ship takes as many or more hull damage than they have HP hearts, their ship sinks. Fortunately, this does not eliminate the player, but they lose many resources and coins, and will need to respawn at their starting location.


The player who earns 15 or 20 prosperity (depending on game mode) from attacking players, completing Quest and Map Clue cards, and possibly some other secret methods, will win Quests & Cannons and leads their race to eternal glory!
Components. Again, this is a prototype copy of the game, but I’ll tell you what, if the finished project comes with even slightly better components, it will be a monumental accomplishment. This is one of the highest-quality home-made prototypes I have ever received. I know most art and many items are final, but everything is on the table for upgrades, with a successful Kickstarter campaign. The colors are great, the art is fantastical and amazing, and it looks phenomenal on the table. I really enjoy the different characters with their unique special powers, and the double-layer ship player mats. Everything has its place and is organized beautifully. I am very excited to see the final product that Short Hop Games achieves!

This kind of game is really right up my alley: head-to-head combat (without player elimination), exploration, and pick-up-and-deliver. The only thing this is missing to be the perfect Travis game is a deck building element, but that certainly wouldn’t fit here. Quests & Cannons is chocked full of mechanics that, I believe, work really well together to provide a great game experience without adding a ton of complexity. The hexploration is strong, and the pick-up-and-deliver mechanic is tasty. All the mechanics, components, and artwork synergize so well that I am surprised this is a title from first-time designers and publisher.

What I like most is that though the rules are plentiful, once you get them down you have a wonderfully fun versatile game that can be played with many different group permutations and modes. The variety in setup options are endless, and the rulebook offers nine or ten different setups. The game also comes with lots of extra map bits, so any player could dream up several unique setup options at any time. The Quests are great, and the Loot cards (though I didn’t mention them in the overview) offer lots of ways to improve players’ strategies. With the abundance of upgrades available and unique special powers, this one is a big winner for me.

If you are in the market for something a little different, with a great theme and interesting combination of mechanics, then Quests & Cannons is certainly worth a look. I am very excited to follow the progress and the campaign for this one. I think backers will be receiving an incredible game with excellent components and tons of replayability. Now to challenge my wife so she can mop the poop deck with me.
  
In Everlasting Dominion: A Theology of the Old Testament (Nashville: Broadman and Holman, 2006), Eugene H. Merrill sets out to provide a theology of the Old Testament which represents the O.T. as a consistent whole that has God as its ultimate source. As such, he supports a high view of biblical inspiration as verbal: “The word of God to the prophets was verbal; and what they spoke and wrote, therefore, was also verbal. The means by which the verbalizing was effected is never disclosed, nor is it necessary to know. The point is that the prophetic word, the highest form of divine revelation, was recognized at the time to be the words of God, a view maintained by virtually unanimous consensus in Jewish and Christian tradition until the inroads of modern criticism.”

Insofar as Merrill is a Christian writing about the Old Testament's theology, this creates a dilemma in regard to the role the New Testament is allowed to play in his interpretation. Merrill acknowledges this from the get go:
“Old Testament theology is the study of biblical theology that employs the methods of that discipline to the Old Testament alone while being aware of the limitations inherent in not addressing the New Testament witness in any comprehensive way. This delimitation can be justified on the grounds that the Old Testament speaks its own message, one that is legitimate and authoritative in every sense of the term even if, from the Christian viewpoint, its message is not ultimately complete.”

As such, his work attempts to focus on what the Old Testament says on its own, though he occasionally appeals to New Testament ideas as a means of providing an additional witness to his interpretation.

Merrill tends to provide basic level interpretation in the canonical order of the Old Testament books. As such, little of his exegesis is particularly creative. However, he does have one unique idea which comes up throughout the book and indeed inspired the title-- the idea that man was made by God as an intermediary for God's dominion over the world:
“The crowning work of creation was the appearance of mankind on the sixth day (Gen. 1:26–28). He is said to be in the image and likeness of God, but the grammar permits and theology favors the idea that he was created as his image and likeness, that is, as God's representative on earth... [This passage] is also the clearest expression of the divine purpose in creation. After all things else had been made and put into their several positions of function and interrelationship, the Lord said, 'Let Us make man [as] Our image, according to Our likeness. They will rule' (Gen. 1:26). The significance of this for communicating a (if not the) major theme of Old Testament theology cannot be overstated, and the fact that it is the first divinely articulated expression of the reason for man's existence makes it doubly significant. What is lacking apparently after the whole cosmos has been spoken into existence is its management, a caretaker as it were who will govern it all according to the will of the Creator. He could have done it himself without mediation, but for reasons never revealed in the sacred record, God elected to reign through a subordinate, a surrogate king responsible only to him.”

Merrill explains what had been lost in this divine intention after the Fall: “No longer did man have dominion over all things; instead, he abdicated his role as sovereign and worshipped what he should have ruled.” However, he still highlights partial fulfillments of the divine plan even after the Fall, such as in the Israelite monarchy:
“The creation mandate that mankind should 'be fruitful, multiply, fill the earth, and subdue it' and 'rule the fish of the sea, the birds of the sky, and every creature that crawls on the earth' (Gen. 1:28) finds tangible expression even if only in a highly preliminary and anticipatory manner. David and his dynastic successors never exhibited this kind of universal dominion, of course, but the limited success they did enjoy, especially under Solomon (cf. 1 Kings 4:20–34), was a foretaste of the splendor, glory, and power of his descendants yet to come at the end of human history.”

Of course, this idea of human dominion as a vice-regent of God would only find its final fulfillment in Christ, the second Adam and the second David:
“If paradise was lost at the fall, it will be regained at the re-creation, not least in the restoration of man's glory as the vice-regent of the King of kings.”

The book seems to go out of its way to contrast the wild speculation of liberal theology, resulting in a work which is so straight-forward as to be dull. This is by no means always the case with Merrill's writings, as his Historical Survey of the Old Testament was one of the most interesting books I read as a new Christian. In Everlasting Dominion, however, where skeptical scholarship always assumes that the text is hiding something, Merrill takes it at face value. The result is a theology of the Old Testament which is more grounded, but that also often fails to soar to the heights that the text might allow for. Instead of elucidation and theologizing, Merrill tends to resort to extended (and I do mean extended) summary of the Hebrew canon.

The one major exception to this tendency is in Merrill's discussion of dominion, which we discussed above in detail. However, more work could certainly have been done on this topic, particularly in regard to how Jesus brings the idea to its fulfillment. Since it is Merrill's goal to explain the Old Testament with as little light from the New as possible, it is difficult to fault him for this. But it's also hard to fault the reader for wanting more when he reads tantalizing sections like this:
“What we propose in the following comments is done with a great deal of tentativeness since, as far as we can determine, we are virtually alone in making the case that Jesus, in his earthly ministry, frequently performed miraculous works to demonstrate not just his full deity but also his role as Urmensch, the second Adam who came to display in character and life what God had intended as the ideal for the whole human race. Without pursuing the biblical arguments for a full-blown Christology that is sensitive to both his divine and human natures, let it be said that there is universal consensus that the New Testament presents Jesus not only as God but also as perfect man.”

That being said, it does seem like an exaggeration to claim that Genesis 1:26 is the key text to understanding Old Testament theology. That it is a major theme, particularly in relation to its underemphasis by most biblical commentators, does not by any means strain credulity. It also seems to be in the back of the mind of many New Testament authors who emphasize restoration of the Kingdom of God involving our reigning with Christ and inheriting the eternal life and dominion over the world which was originally connected with our Edenic charge.

In the final analysis, Everlasting Dominion provides a good straight-forward overview of the Old Testament, but simply doesn't provide enough insight to warrant its nearly 700 pages.
  
King Kong (2005)
King Kong (2005)
2005 | Action
Following up the box office and Oscar success of the Lord of the Rings Trilogy is an undertaking that is sure to have its dangers. Expectations of the fans notwithstanding, the ability to recapture the magic of the trilogy could be akin to capturing lightning in a bottle. When it was announced that Peter Jackson would follow his Oscar success by doing yet another adaptation of King Kong, there were plenty of questions amidst the excitement.

When an earlier remake was a critical and commercial bomb, “Would Jackson be able to do justice to one of the all time classics?” was one of the biggest questions. When it was announced that comedian Jack Black would be in the film, people began to wonder what Jackson had brewing. Black, as well as Academy Award winner Adrian Brody were seen as offbeat choices. As the release date for the film neared, so did speculation over the look of the film, the running time, and its decision to follow the screenplay of the original rather than adapt to a modern setting.

The film follows a filmmaker named Carl Denham (Jack Black), who in an act of desperation flees New York for a mysterious and uncharted island in an attempt to finish his latest movie before the studio can shut him down. Amidst the backdrop of the Great Depression, it is clear that Denham knows that failure now could be the end of his livelihood and his long term future. As he embarks on his fly by night production, Denham encounters Ann Darrow (Naomi Watts), a recently unemployed Vaudeville performer who is enticed into the film in the hopes of meeting its writer Jack Driscoll (Adrian Brody). It seems that Ann has long coveted a part in Driscoll’s plays and hopes that by meeting him, she will obtain her long sought after audition.

With the cops and studio hot on their heels, the cast and crew board a tramp steamer named “The Venture” as they set off for the mysterious island that is known only to Denham via a mysterious map he obtained through methods unknown.

As the voyage unwinds, not only does Denham get the chance to film segments of the film, but Ann and a stranded Jack find themselves becoming an item. Jack is inspired by Ann, and he works like a man inspired turning out page after page of material for various projects which he hopes Ann will star.

Eventually the ship finds its way to the mysterious Skull Island surrounded in fog, and the crew venture ashore to take in the bizarre and exotic land that has previously been unexplored. Upon finding a fortified wall and settlement the crew has a run in with some dangerous natives which in turn leads to Ann being kidnapped and offered up sacrificial style to a gigantic creature the Islanders refer to as Kong. Undaunted, Jack and the crew set off to rescue Ann while Denham shoots footage along the way, as the island offers visuals the likes of which have never been seen by mankind.

Along the way, the crew encounters deadly creatures and obstacles at every turn, as does Ann who plays a dangerous game of cat and mouse with Kong as she comes to grips with her situation. Kong is taken with the lovely Ann and protects her against numerous dangers including a pack of Tyrannosauruses in one of the film’s best action sequences.

Of course few will be surprised at the final act of the film so I will leave it to say that the fish out of water nature of the previous versions remains intact as Kong finds himself dealing with an urban jungle which leads to a spectacular finale atop the Empire State Building.

In many ways Jackson’s film is three separate films. The first hour of the film is an interesting and, at times witty, character piece where the lead characters assemble. The look of the city is amazing, making it very clear that enormous amounts of effort went into crafting the look of Depression Era New York, and to remind the audience that Prohibition was also in effect. The interplay between the characters is decent.Black does standout work as the slick Denham, as does Watts as the wholesome and lovable Ann.

The second hour of the film is the special effects showcase where the mysteries of Skull Island and Kong are shown complete with all manner of CGI creatures and action sequences. While most of them are well staged, I could not help but note that on more than one occasion the CGI backdrops did not match up well with their live action counterparts. There is one scene of a stampede where it looked like the actors had been drawn in and that they were running in place as they clearly did not mesh with the spectacle behind them.

Throughout the film this occurrence happened more and more which really had me wondering if the effects house was overtaxed. A film with a budget reportedly over 100 million should not have these technical issues. Thankfully Kong himself is a wonder, with everything from his expressive eyes and facial features, captured in a remarkable way. It is just a shame that the other effects did not get the same treatment as the films namesake, as he truly is a site to behold. Andy Serkis who did the character mannerisms for the animators program did a phenomenal job. The movements of Kong progress with a strength and agility that bellies a simian rather than a skilled performer.

I do not want it to sound as if I did not enjoy the film, as much of the film worked very well, technical issues aside. What my biggest issue with the film was that at over 3 Hours, it was far too long for the material to support. We get numerous scenes of Ann and Kong flirting, bonding, fighting, running, and more. What is cute the first couple of times becomes dull the more it is repeated. It is obvious that they have a bond; we do not need to see it over and over ad nauseum to get the message. Also, the character development and interplay between the characters that was so effective in the first part of the film all but vanishes amidst the effects.

The finale of the film is a rousing success as the daring visuals and camera angles are very inventive and thrilling. This segment with its fury of motion and sound will have viewers on the edge of their seat as it certainly delivers the goods. The biggest issue again is having to sit through three hours to get to it. Anyone who has seen either version of Kong knows exactly where the film is heading, and after two hours of screen time I found myself wishing they would just hurry up and get to it.

Jackson has crafted a very entertaining and lavish film that packs its share of thrills. What the film needed is someone to reign in Jackson and his boundless enthusiasm for the project to remind him that sometimes less is more. Jackson has said that he had over 4 hours worth of material filmed but trimmed it down to its current running time. When the film is almost twice the running time of the original, I found myself thinking that minus 45 minutes the same story could have been told.

Despite the flaws and the hype, King Kong is a solid film that for me was more satisfying in many ways than any of the “Rings” films. While not quite a masterpiece, this Kong is worthy of the name and pedigree of the timeless original that inspired it.