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Sarah (7798 KP) rated Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets (2017) in Movies
Apr 2, 2018
All style, no substance
It's a shame that Luc Besson has resorted to this. Considering his previous films, this should have been so much better.
The opening title scene starts off fairly well, it's just a shame that it then goes badly downhill with the introduction of Valerian and Laureline. The script is terrible and very cringeworthy, and it isn't helped by the lack of real chemistry between Dane DeHaan and Cara Delavigne. The plot is very weak and really drags out its 2+ hour run time, and it's very predictable. I have no idea as to why they felt the need to include Ethan Hawke and Rihanna, as their part of the plot was filler at best and could've easily been removed with little effect to the overall outcome. The visual effects are fantastic, it's just a shame they've concentrated on this instead of sorting out the horrendous script and weak plot.
The opening title scene starts off fairly well, it's just a shame that it then goes badly downhill with the introduction of Valerian and Laureline. The script is terrible and very cringeworthy, and it isn't helped by the lack of real chemistry between Dane DeHaan and Cara Delavigne. The plot is very weak and really drags out its 2+ hour run time, and it's very predictable. I have no idea as to why they felt the need to include Ethan Hawke and Rihanna, as their part of the plot was filler at best and could've easily been removed with little effect to the overall outcome. The visual effects are fantastic, it's just a shame they've concentrated on this instead of sorting out the horrendous script and weak plot.
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Kirk Bage (1775 KP) rated Ocean’s 8 (2018) in Movies
Jan 22, 2021
I am sure the pitch for this sounded pretty good. It is the Ocean’s franchise but with all women. What on earth could possibly go wrong? Well, the script for starters. And the sleepy direction. The normally fairly dependable Gary Ross guilty on both fronts. Although there are some nice scenes and moments in isolation (usually involving Helena Bonham- Carter, who comes out of it all best, because at least she’s funny), it is all far too pedestrian and lacks momentum. A very easy film to fall asleep during, which for a heist movie is a problem! The talent on display is largely wasted, even though in a way they all come out of it with dignity and reputation intact. One other light I took from it was thinking Rihanna as the kooky “Nine Ball” showed some potential for being a decent screen actress, which pleasantly surprised me. Again, it is just about worth watching once, but has to go down as a botched job on the whole.
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Awix (3310 KP) rated Battleship (2012) in Movies
Mar 7, 2018 (Updated Mar 7, 2018)
Zombie reflexes in the Hollywood blockbuster machine sputtered into a grisly half-life and pondered the question 'if movies about the Transformers toys make so much money, what other toy/game based rubbish can we railroad audiences into going to see?' And the answer that came back was 'let's do a movie based on Battleship, featuring the pop-star Rihanna'.
Utterly dimwitted action blockbuster and Michael Bay pastiche; the weird thing is that Michael Bay pastiches are marginally better than actual Michael Bay films, mainly because if your starting point is a Michael Bay film the only way is up. This is still insultingly stupid. The actors deserve some kind of credit for getting through the film with straight faces, given it includes a laboriously contrived sequence where the characters are basically playing real-life Battleships against the aliens. Somehow made even worse by the way it fawns over members of the military (subtext being that it's unpatriotic not to like this movie). The special effects are not too bad but considering this is a movie with a $210 million budget that's like saying they remembered to put film in the camera.
Utterly dimwitted action blockbuster and Michael Bay pastiche; the weird thing is that Michael Bay pastiches are marginally better than actual Michael Bay films, mainly because if your starting point is a Michael Bay film the only way is up. This is still insultingly stupid. The actors deserve some kind of credit for getting through the film with straight faces, given it includes a laboriously contrived sequence where the characters are basically playing real-life Battleships against the aliens. Somehow made even worse by the way it fawns over members of the military (subtext being that it's unpatriotic not to like this movie). The special effects are not too bad but considering this is a movie with a $210 million budget that's like saying they remembered to put film in the camera.
SummerLGrant (185 KP) rated Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets (2017) in Movies
Aug 5, 2017
Visual effects (1 more)
Rihanna - surprisingly
Predictable (2 more)
The script and story had weak moments
Dated and lacking diversity
A mish mash that fails to hit the mark
Contains spoilers, click to show
It had the potential to be the sci-fi blockbuster of the summer, but where there was plenty of ambition the execution was lacking. One of the first things to crop up was right at the beginning of the film, well, two things really. First was the opening scene explaining the situation that led to the main story, each delegation of new astronauts popped in and greeting the humans on the space station - but unless they were obviously meant to be from a different country you only ever saw white men climbing aboard with the odd token woman thrown in for good measure. The other thing was when it said it was based on the Valerian and Laureline comics - so typical that when the film industry gets hold of it they cut off the woman's name.
Anyway, it begins with the destruction of Mul - pretty much a paradise - and this launches the story as we find Valerian on his ship enjoying some sun on an artificial beach. And this is when it starts to get really predictable, which is a shame because it's only about 15 minutes in. After the mission to take the last known Converter into government custody Valerian and Laureline head to their rendezvous where we meet their Commander - at which point we know who the bad guy is through a mixture of a bad script and failed attempts at setting up some mystery. So when we finally get told he's the guy who pretty much destroyed Mul there's no surprised and you can't help but roll your eyes at the "twist"
There are some good bits though, if you want a film that you don't want to think and just want to sit back and enjoy then this is it. The visual effects are fantastic, it's amazing to watch the two main characters jump from environment to environment, especially as Valerian is chasing after the Pearls who kidnapped the Commander. There were also some ideas that were good and could probably have been expanded on.
One thing that was better than expected was Rihanna. I didn't expect her to be any good and while there was some clunky parts to her role, she was mostly good and I would have liked to see more of Bubble - although, again, her fate was struck by predictability. For all its faults it's still an enjoyable film, you just have to be willing to look past everything it's lacking.
Anyway, it begins with the destruction of Mul - pretty much a paradise - and this launches the story as we find Valerian on his ship enjoying some sun on an artificial beach. And this is when it starts to get really predictable, which is a shame because it's only about 15 minutes in. After the mission to take the last known Converter into government custody Valerian and Laureline head to their rendezvous where we meet their Commander - at which point we know who the bad guy is through a mixture of a bad script and failed attempts at setting up some mystery. So when we finally get told he's the guy who pretty much destroyed Mul there's no surprised and you can't help but roll your eyes at the "twist"
There are some good bits though, if you want a film that you don't want to think and just want to sit back and enjoy then this is it. The visual effects are fantastic, it's amazing to watch the two main characters jump from environment to environment, especially as Valerian is chasing after the Pearls who kidnapped the Commander. There were also some ideas that were good and could probably have been expanded on.
One thing that was better than expected was Rihanna. I didn't expect her to be any good and while there was some clunky parts to her role, she was mostly good and I would have liked to see more of Bubble - although, again, her fate was struck by predictability. For all its faults it's still an enjoyable film, you just have to be willing to look past everything it's lacking.
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