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Bob Mann (459 KP) rated The Fate of the Furious (2017) in Movies
Sep 29, 2021
Blood is thicker than Diesel.
All work and no play makes bob-the-movie-man a tardy reviewer. Still, what better way to break the fast than with “Fast and Furious 8” (aka “The Fate of the Furious”)?
Well, quite a lot of things actually!
Now, I have a confession to make (and I know for some this will be the equivalent of an appalling statement like “I’ve never seen Star Wars”). I have actually never ever seen Fast and Furious 1 through 7! (If it’s any mitigation to this cinematic crime, I did see the F-and-F wannabe “Need for Speed“).
So I was going to be completely lost with the “plot” right? Well actually, no. It was pretty easy to jump in and follow as a piece of popcorn nonsense.
The M25 water main burst was a real bitch for the Monday morning rush-hour.
For nonsense it is (hence the “rabbit ears” round the word “plot” above). The story isn’t just a bit far-fetched. It’s bat-shit crazy where the bat in question has downed a questionable vindaloo two hours earlier!
Dom (Vin Diesel) has turned on his “family”, including his squeeze, the lovely Letty (Michelle Rodriguez), and Hobbs (Dwayne Johnson, “San Andreas“), to team with the above-the-law (and above the clouds) cyber-super-terrorist Cipher (Charlize Theron, “Mad Max: Fury Road“). They have teamed up, apparently, for no other reason than to allow Cipher to ‘kick some global ass’ with a nuclear threat. But given his caring and sharing side, why the sudden betrayal of his nearest and dearest by Dom?
Ice Queen Metallica fan Theron, showing off her hardware.
Where do you begin with the nonsensical story? Jumping from Cuba (with some admittedly fun scenes, but shamelessly objectifying scantily-clad women) via Berlin and New York to the icy wastes of Siberia, it’s just an excuse to show fast cars doing ludicrously unlikely things. There is zero logic within any of the script. Here are just a handful of examples:
the team know (through enormous jumps of speculation) to be present at a particular location in the world and at exactly the time that Dom is there (arrive, look through binoculars, “Oh, there he is”!);
all cars can be automatically hijacked and remotely driven (who knew), but NOT those of the team (obviously);
fast cars/tanks/etc can be magicked from New York to Siberia (wot, no Hertz Siberia available?);
Russian nuclear codes are stolen, so obviously they can’t be changed?
a nuclear submarine is out of the water on wooden blocks, but spin the propeller really REALLY fast and it can suddenly be sailing away.
Muscle for muscle it never looked like being a fair fight.
I appreciate I am being enormously po-faced about this, and this is designed as pure escapism. But is there REALLY any need for this to be such mindless escapism? The director (Gary Gray, “The Italian Job”) and writer (Chris Morgan, responsible for parts 6 and 7) should credit their audience with rather more in the way of intelligence.
Diesel and Johnson are never going to set the acting ablaze, but Rodriquez (“Lost”) is as watchable as ever. Theron has fun with her villainy and the supporting turns by Tyrese Gibson and Ludacris are enjoyable. Nathalie Emmanuel though as Ramsey seems as uncomfortable with her “sexy English” stereotype as she should be.
A long way from Brookside. Nathalie Emmanuel uncomfortable as “the sexy one”.
Luke Evans (“The Hobbit“), Kurt Russell (“Deepwater Horizon“) and Helen Mirren (“Eye in the Sky“) turn up in entertaining but underused cameos, but it is Jason Statham as Deckard that has the most fun in the whole film, and his scenes – done largely for comic effect – are the best part of the movie. (But “math” Jason? “MATH”?? I hope your old maths teacher back in London doesn’t get to see this film).
Parking enforcement by the City Council was getting more and more stringent.
If you’re willing to park your brain at the door for two hours then it has some fun moments. But I felt the damage to my IQ might not have been worth the risk, and this really didn’t fill my cinematic tank.
Well, quite a lot of things actually!
Now, I have a confession to make (and I know for some this will be the equivalent of an appalling statement like “I’ve never seen Star Wars”). I have actually never ever seen Fast and Furious 1 through 7! (If it’s any mitigation to this cinematic crime, I did see the F-and-F wannabe “Need for Speed“).
So I was going to be completely lost with the “plot” right? Well actually, no. It was pretty easy to jump in and follow as a piece of popcorn nonsense.
The M25 water main burst was a real bitch for the Monday morning rush-hour.
For nonsense it is (hence the “rabbit ears” round the word “plot” above). The story isn’t just a bit far-fetched. It’s bat-shit crazy where the bat in question has downed a questionable vindaloo two hours earlier!
Dom (Vin Diesel) has turned on his “family”, including his squeeze, the lovely Letty (Michelle Rodriguez), and Hobbs (Dwayne Johnson, “San Andreas“), to team with the above-the-law (and above the clouds) cyber-super-terrorist Cipher (Charlize Theron, “Mad Max: Fury Road“). They have teamed up, apparently, for no other reason than to allow Cipher to ‘kick some global ass’ with a nuclear threat. But given his caring and sharing side, why the sudden betrayal of his nearest and dearest by Dom?
Ice Queen Metallica fan Theron, showing off her hardware.
Where do you begin with the nonsensical story? Jumping from Cuba (with some admittedly fun scenes, but shamelessly objectifying scantily-clad women) via Berlin and New York to the icy wastes of Siberia, it’s just an excuse to show fast cars doing ludicrously unlikely things. There is zero logic within any of the script. Here are just a handful of examples:
the team know (through enormous jumps of speculation) to be present at a particular location in the world and at exactly the time that Dom is there (arrive, look through binoculars, “Oh, there he is”!);
all cars can be automatically hijacked and remotely driven (who knew), but NOT those of the team (obviously);
fast cars/tanks/etc can be magicked from New York to Siberia (wot, no Hertz Siberia available?);
Russian nuclear codes are stolen, so obviously they can’t be changed?
a nuclear submarine is out of the water on wooden blocks, but spin the propeller really REALLY fast and it can suddenly be sailing away.
Muscle for muscle it never looked like being a fair fight.
I appreciate I am being enormously po-faced about this, and this is designed as pure escapism. But is there REALLY any need for this to be such mindless escapism? The director (Gary Gray, “The Italian Job”) and writer (Chris Morgan, responsible for parts 6 and 7) should credit their audience with rather more in the way of intelligence.
Diesel and Johnson are never going to set the acting ablaze, but Rodriquez (“Lost”) is as watchable as ever. Theron has fun with her villainy and the supporting turns by Tyrese Gibson and Ludacris are enjoyable. Nathalie Emmanuel though as Ramsey seems as uncomfortable with her “sexy English” stereotype as she should be.
A long way from Brookside. Nathalie Emmanuel uncomfortable as “the sexy one”.
Luke Evans (“The Hobbit“), Kurt Russell (“Deepwater Horizon“) and Helen Mirren (“Eye in the Sky“) turn up in entertaining but underused cameos, but it is Jason Statham as Deckard that has the most fun in the whole film, and his scenes – done largely for comic effect – are the best part of the movie. (But “math” Jason? “MATH”?? I hope your old maths teacher back in London doesn’t get to see this film).
Parking enforcement by the City Council was getting more and more stringent.
If you’re willing to park your brain at the door for two hours then it has some fun moments. But I felt the damage to my IQ might not have been worth the risk, and this really didn’t fill my cinematic tank.
Gareth von Kallenbach (965 KP) rated Battle: Los Angeles (2011) in Movies
Aug 7, 2019
War movies depicting a group of soldiers against overwhelming odds are nothing new. For generations, moviegoers have been treated to cinematic recreations as well as new scenarios of fighting units in combat. Usually these films follow a typical formula that includes the tough and gritty commanding officer, the naïve new soldier, the one with a woman and children waiting at home, and one who has difficulties with combat. In the new movie Battle: Los Angeles a new twist is given to the formulaic troops-in-combat picture which produces a mixed bag of results.
Aaron Eckhart stars as Staff Sgt. Michael Nantz; a 20 year Marine who, after losing men on a recent mission, has decided that it is time for him to leave and has filed his retirement paperwork from the corps. While completing a training exercise, Nantz and a squadron of Marines at Camp Pendleton are activated for what they are told is an evacuation mission in order to clear Santa Monica and other area residents from a swarm of meteors which are scheduled to hit just off the coast.
Nantz is assigned to a new commanding officer who, like the men in his unit, is wary of Nantz as many believe that he got his men killed in his last assignment. Despite the misgivings of the new lieutenant, he agrees that Nantz offers a wealth of experience and should be just fine for a simple evacuation assignment.
However during the mission briefing, the Marines are informed that the meteors that are hitting off the coast of major cities around the world contain metallic centers and that this is very likely an invasion from an unknown force. While the Marines are deploying an otherworldly fighting unit emerges destroying everything in their path as they moved inland from the coast line. Unsure what they are dealing with, the military decides to carpet bomb the city in order to contain the alien threat and give Nantz and his unit three hours to enter the combat zone and evacuate civilians from a police station.
While the movie is for the most part the standard soldiers-at-war film which substitute’s aliens for the usual enemy forces, the strength of the cast and the solid action and special effects help the movie overcome many of its shortcomings. There is little character development in the film and scenarios that were introduced in some of the characters’ backstories early in the film were given little to no chance to develop once the shooting started.
I also had an issue with some of the tactics in the film. While it may seem nitpicking there were a few scenes where the soldiers didn’t follow logical courses of engagement until later in the film. I have had only the most basic of combat instruction from my brief time in the Air Force, yet I can think of at least four scenarios in the film where the unit failed to use the most logical options available in their combat situation. Of course any film dealing with an alien invasion is sure to have plot holes and yes I can quibble about the Air Force waiting three hours to bomb a heavily overrun area when containment would have been priority one in not allowing a hostile force that much time to entrench itself.
That being said it was an interesting and entertaining film. The enemy was sufficiently mysterious and dangerous enough to hold my interest and had me rooting desperately for the troops to rise up and strike back at the enemy. Michelle Rodriguez does fine supporting work in the role of an Air Force Tech Sgt. who may have the key to turning the tide of the battle. Eckhart is solid as the gruff but caring staff sergeant is equally strong and his unit of young corporals, including R&B singer Ne-Yo, are believable.
Director Jonathan Liebesman knows the core intention of this film is and in doing so provides enough action to keep the audience entertained throughout. despite some issues with pacing and plot. While it doesn’t have the epic feel of Independence Day, Battle: Los Angeles is a film that provides enough entertainment to make it one of the better alien invasion films ever made and one that I certainly would not mind seeing revisited in a future sequel.
3.5 stars out of 5
Aaron Eckhart stars as Staff Sgt. Michael Nantz; a 20 year Marine who, after losing men on a recent mission, has decided that it is time for him to leave and has filed his retirement paperwork from the corps. While completing a training exercise, Nantz and a squadron of Marines at Camp Pendleton are activated for what they are told is an evacuation mission in order to clear Santa Monica and other area residents from a swarm of meteors which are scheduled to hit just off the coast.
Nantz is assigned to a new commanding officer who, like the men in his unit, is wary of Nantz as many believe that he got his men killed in his last assignment. Despite the misgivings of the new lieutenant, he agrees that Nantz offers a wealth of experience and should be just fine for a simple evacuation assignment.
However during the mission briefing, the Marines are informed that the meteors that are hitting off the coast of major cities around the world contain metallic centers and that this is very likely an invasion from an unknown force. While the Marines are deploying an otherworldly fighting unit emerges destroying everything in their path as they moved inland from the coast line. Unsure what they are dealing with, the military decides to carpet bomb the city in order to contain the alien threat and give Nantz and his unit three hours to enter the combat zone and evacuate civilians from a police station.
While the movie is for the most part the standard soldiers-at-war film which substitute’s aliens for the usual enemy forces, the strength of the cast and the solid action and special effects help the movie overcome many of its shortcomings. There is little character development in the film and scenarios that were introduced in some of the characters’ backstories early in the film were given little to no chance to develop once the shooting started.
I also had an issue with some of the tactics in the film. While it may seem nitpicking there were a few scenes where the soldiers didn’t follow logical courses of engagement until later in the film. I have had only the most basic of combat instruction from my brief time in the Air Force, yet I can think of at least four scenarios in the film where the unit failed to use the most logical options available in their combat situation. Of course any film dealing with an alien invasion is sure to have plot holes and yes I can quibble about the Air Force waiting three hours to bomb a heavily overrun area when containment would have been priority one in not allowing a hostile force that much time to entrench itself.
That being said it was an interesting and entertaining film. The enemy was sufficiently mysterious and dangerous enough to hold my interest and had me rooting desperately for the troops to rise up and strike back at the enemy. Michelle Rodriguez does fine supporting work in the role of an Air Force Tech Sgt. who may have the key to turning the tide of the battle. Eckhart is solid as the gruff but caring staff sergeant is equally strong and his unit of young corporals, including R&B singer Ne-Yo, are believable.
Director Jonathan Liebesman knows the core intention of this film is and in doing so provides enough action to keep the audience entertained throughout. despite some issues with pacing and plot. While it doesn’t have the epic feel of Independence Day, Battle: Los Angeles is a film that provides enough entertainment to make it one of the better alien invasion films ever made and one that I certainly would not mind seeing revisited in a future sequel.
3.5 stars out of 5
Chris Sawin (602 KP) rated Harsh Times (2005) in Movies
Jun 18, 2019
Writer and director (and sometimes producer) David Ayer debuted in the film industry writing films such as Training Day, The Fast and the Furious, and S.W.A.T. but he came into his own once he started directing and producing (as well as continuing to write) his own projects with End of Watch and Fury being two of his best. In the past couple years, Ayer has produced and directed two big budget films (Suicide Squad and Bright) in the past few years that received a negative critical reputation that audiences still seem to love (sequels for both are in development). The first film David Ayer produced, wrote, and directed that’s more in the vein of Training Day and End of Watch and is largely based on the individuals Ayer knew while living in South Central, Los Angeles is a little crime film called Harsh Times.
Jim Luther Davis (Christian Bale) seems like a normal guy that anyone could know. Now that he’s done his time as a soldier, it’s now his dream to become a cop in Los Angeles. Unfortunately though, Jim likes to spend most days drinking, smoking pot, and looking for ways to either get laid or kick the snot out of someone and his time as a soldier gets to him more than he lets on. He has nightmares every night and wakes up screaming with cold chills and is on the verge of downright insanity.
His best friend, Mike Alonzo (Freddy Rodriguez), has the intention of getting a job to make his wife happy but his drinking problem stands in the way of that. While Mike has his wife, Sylvia (Eva Longoria), Jim has his girlfriend, Marta (Tammy Trull), back in Mexico that he hopes to get across the border once he gets that dream job. One day, Jim gets a call from Homeland Security and Mike has an interview go surprisingly well at one of the best businesses in town; the two best friends think their lives are beginning to look up. However, Jim gets pushed too far and innocent people are suddenly caught in the crossfire.
Harsh Times plays out like a song that becomes a sleeper hit or one that eventually evolves into one of your favorites; events unfold rather slowly but they’re also building towards a big finale. Once the ball gets rolling, it’s inevitable to try and resist the mayhem that’s sure to ensue. Harsh Times may not be that appealing on the surface, but David Ayer has mastered the dynamic of two cops (one is usually Caucasian and the other is usually Hispanic or African American) set within a broken neighborhood. Watching Jim and Mike give into their vices and basically flush their dreams down the toilet by relishing the deteriorated reputation they’re known for is a riveting train wreck. Aside from Christian Bale’s outstanding performance, the real gem of the film lies within the last 20 minutes.
Ayer typically aims to shock or catch you off guard with the finales of his crime films, but there’s also a scene involving Jim that is unexpected. It’s an intriguing scene that is spontaneous in nature, but it puts what Jim went through as a soldier into perspective. Jim is completely unfazed by what he puts himself through, but Mike seems to be physically traumatized by the whole ordeal. It seems rather unimportant as it’s occurring, but it’s also the most memorable sequence once the credits roll. Before Don’t Breathe came along in 2016, this was the worst way any Hollywood film ever utilized a turkey baster.
For several years, Christian Bale was known for dramatically changing his appearance and using a different accent in every project he was a part of. Watching Harsh Times after seeing Batman Begins (both films were released in 2005) for the first time allows you to appreciate Bale’s performance even more. Imagine Batman or even Bruce Wayne trying to say with a straight face, “Yeah, homie. That’s how we roll in these streets, dawg.” It seems implausible and almost otherworldly; it’s a transition you never expected Bale to make. The transformation of the Jim Luther Davis character is incredible. The film’s editing when Jim is going through one of his episodes is an admirable nod to how unstable he is. Once the screen has that yellow tint to it, you know something detrimental is about to go down.
Harsh Times has a reputation for being slow and boring, but it’s worth a watch especially if you’re a fan of David Ayer films. The crime film may not appeal to everyone, but it probably has a lot more to offer than anyone gives it credit for. Christian Bale has a particularly strong performance in the film that deserves to behold and the intense finale should make up for any slow or dragging sequences. If you’re watching the film for the first time, try giving it a chance when you know you have a more patient mentality. You may be pleasantly surprised with Harsh Times.
Harsh Times is available to stream on YouTube, Google Play, and Vudu for $2.99 and iTunes for $3.99. It’s available on Amazon Prime for free if you have Showtime with Prime Video channels. The film is available on Amazon on DVD for $7.96 and Multi-Format Blu-ray for $13.49. The pre-owned DVD is currently $4.09 with free shipping while a brand new Multi-Format Blu-ray is $15.98 with free shipping on eBay.
Jim Luther Davis (Christian Bale) seems like a normal guy that anyone could know. Now that he’s done his time as a soldier, it’s now his dream to become a cop in Los Angeles. Unfortunately though, Jim likes to spend most days drinking, smoking pot, and looking for ways to either get laid or kick the snot out of someone and his time as a soldier gets to him more than he lets on. He has nightmares every night and wakes up screaming with cold chills and is on the verge of downright insanity.
His best friend, Mike Alonzo (Freddy Rodriguez), has the intention of getting a job to make his wife happy but his drinking problem stands in the way of that. While Mike has his wife, Sylvia (Eva Longoria), Jim has his girlfriend, Marta (Tammy Trull), back in Mexico that he hopes to get across the border once he gets that dream job. One day, Jim gets a call from Homeland Security and Mike has an interview go surprisingly well at one of the best businesses in town; the two best friends think their lives are beginning to look up. However, Jim gets pushed too far and innocent people are suddenly caught in the crossfire.
Harsh Times plays out like a song that becomes a sleeper hit or one that eventually evolves into one of your favorites; events unfold rather slowly but they’re also building towards a big finale. Once the ball gets rolling, it’s inevitable to try and resist the mayhem that’s sure to ensue. Harsh Times may not be that appealing on the surface, but David Ayer has mastered the dynamic of two cops (one is usually Caucasian and the other is usually Hispanic or African American) set within a broken neighborhood. Watching Jim and Mike give into their vices and basically flush their dreams down the toilet by relishing the deteriorated reputation they’re known for is a riveting train wreck. Aside from Christian Bale’s outstanding performance, the real gem of the film lies within the last 20 minutes.
Ayer typically aims to shock or catch you off guard with the finales of his crime films, but there’s also a scene involving Jim that is unexpected. It’s an intriguing scene that is spontaneous in nature, but it puts what Jim went through as a soldier into perspective. Jim is completely unfazed by what he puts himself through, but Mike seems to be physically traumatized by the whole ordeal. It seems rather unimportant as it’s occurring, but it’s also the most memorable sequence once the credits roll. Before Don’t Breathe came along in 2016, this was the worst way any Hollywood film ever utilized a turkey baster.
For several years, Christian Bale was known for dramatically changing his appearance and using a different accent in every project he was a part of. Watching Harsh Times after seeing Batman Begins (both films were released in 2005) for the first time allows you to appreciate Bale’s performance even more. Imagine Batman or even Bruce Wayne trying to say with a straight face, “Yeah, homie. That’s how we roll in these streets, dawg.” It seems implausible and almost otherworldly; it’s a transition you never expected Bale to make. The transformation of the Jim Luther Davis character is incredible. The film’s editing when Jim is going through one of his episodes is an admirable nod to how unstable he is. Once the screen has that yellow tint to it, you know something detrimental is about to go down.
Harsh Times has a reputation for being slow and boring, but it’s worth a watch especially if you’re a fan of David Ayer films. The crime film may not appeal to everyone, but it probably has a lot more to offer than anyone gives it credit for. Christian Bale has a particularly strong performance in the film that deserves to behold and the intense finale should make up for any slow or dragging sequences. If you’re watching the film for the first time, try giving it a chance when you know you have a more patient mentality. You may be pleasantly surprised with Harsh Times.
Harsh Times is available to stream on YouTube, Google Play, and Vudu for $2.99 and iTunes for $3.99. It’s available on Amazon Prime for free if you have Showtime with Prime Video channels. The film is available on Amazon on DVD for $7.96 and Multi-Format Blu-ray for $13.49. The pre-owned DVD is currently $4.09 with free shipping while a brand new Multi-Format Blu-ray is $15.98 with free shipping on eBay.
Gareth von Kallenbach (965 KP) rated Tusk (2014) in Movies
Jun 19, 2019
To legions of his many fans, writer, director, producer, and podcaster Kevin Smith is a man fanboys find easy to root for. His films have become pop-culture gold to comic book, science fiction, and general geekdom fans the world over. Smith has built a career on independent films with characters that are as real as they are raw and raunchy. The crude nature of his jokes often put him in a “love them or hate them” category for many critics as it is definitely not a style that is for the masses. That being said, the films are witty, honest, and most times relatable, no matter how bad the situations and the characters become. Recently, Smith took a detour to the darker side with his film “Red State” that looked at a group of kids who became the victims of a fanatical cult leader and his followers.
While Smith was reportedly working to get funding for “Clerks 3”, an idea was presented to him during his Smodcast about a guy in rural Canada who is offering free room and board to anybody who would live with him on the condition that they wear a walrus costume from time to time. Buoyed by his followers on Twitter, Smith decided to make a horror film based on the situation even after learning that the incident in question was the result of a prank by a comedian.
In his new film Tusk, we are introduced to a successful podcaster named Wallace (Justin Long), who along with his costar Teddy (Haley Joel Osment), run a show called the Not See Party, whose name leads to several double takes and comical and uncomfortable situations down the line. Wallace’s girlfriend Ally (Genesis Rodriguez) wishes to accompany Wallace to his trip up to Canada in order to interview someone for a show.
Since Teddy is not a flyer, Wallace travels to locations to interview people and then in turn tells the stories to Teddy so the two can comment about them on air. Ally longs for the Wallace of old who was a struggling comedian as she believes that the successful Wallace is not that fun to be around as he no longer makes her a priority in life. Wallace admits as much when he discloses a series of infidelities to Teddy and dismisses them as nothing more than clearing of the head while traveling or before doing a live show for an audience.
Upon arriving in Manitoba, Wallace learns that his intended interview has befallen tragedy and faced without a topic for his next show, Wallace is intrigued by a flyer from a man offering room and board as well as plenty of stories.
Wallace makes contact with the individual and travels two hours into rural Manitoba at night to meet the man at his expansive estate. Upon meeting Howard Howe (Michael Parks), Wallace is captivated by the elderly wheelchair-bound gentleman and his tales of life at sea including meeting Ernest Hemingway during the war. As Wallace sat spellbound by the tales Howard is telling him, he soon falls unconscious as a result of being drugged by his host. Things take a very dark turn the following morning when Howard learns that he has lost a leg of which Howard proclaims was the tragic result of a spider bite. Things become a living nightmare as Wallace quickly learns just how devious and diabolical Michael’s plans are for him and trapped in a remote area his humanity and faith are slowly stripped away by the situation he finds himself in.
Teddy and Ally travel to Manitoba due to a frantic call Wallace makes and not finding much assistance from the local authorities, turn to quirky and eccentric former homicide detective Guy LaPointe (Johnny Depp), who fears that Wallace has become the victim of an elusive killer whom LaPointe has been trying to find for years.
What follows is a dark, disturbing, and utterly captivating thriller in a race against time with the very essence and humanity of Wallace hanging in the balance.
While Smith inserts his trademark humor into the film, this is very much a psychological thriller and not a comedy. Depp does a fantastic job and is almost unrecognizable in his role as a homicide detective who is scheduled to appear in a subsequent film currently shooting. While it seemed a bit of a stretch that Ally would want be involved with Wallace, there was nonetheless a good bit of chemistry between them even though the majority of their scenes are shown via flashback.
Long and Parks propel the story as it is pretty much about the dramatic struggle between the two of them. Parks is captivating and creepy while the brash Wallace gets a lesson in humanity and what truly matters in life. While some will no doubt find the subject matter highly disturbing and may be quick to dismiss the film, this is one of the more clever and enjoyable thrillers in recent years and proves that Smith is a filmmaker capable of doing things other than his trademark comedies and should be encouraged to continue to broaden his horizons.
As it stands the film should delight fans of Smith but also allows him to expand his audience into new areas as this truly is one of the more memorable and entertaining films of the year.
http://sknr.net/2014/09/19/tusk/
While Smith was reportedly working to get funding for “Clerks 3”, an idea was presented to him during his Smodcast about a guy in rural Canada who is offering free room and board to anybody who would live with him on the condition that they wear a walrus costume from time to time. Buoyed by his followers on Twitter, Smith decided to make a horror film based on the situation even after learning that the incident in question was the result of a prank by a comedian.
In his new film Tusk, we are introduced to a successful podcaster named Wallace (Justin Long), who along with his costar Teddy (Haley Joel Osment), run a show called the Not See Party, whose name leads to several double takes and comical and uncomfortable situations down the line. Wallace’s girlfriend Ally (Genesis Rodriguez) wishes to accompany Wallace to his trip up to Canada in order to interview someone for a show.
Since Teddy is not a flyer, Wallace travels to locations to interview people and then in turn tells the stories to Teddy so the two can comment about them on air. Ally longs for the Wallace of old who was a struggling comedian as she believes that the successful Wallace is not that fun to be around as he no longer makes her a priority in life. Wallace admits as much when he discloses a series of infidelities to Teddy and dismisses them as nothing more than clearing of the head while traveling or before doing a live show for an audience.
Upon arriving in Manitoba, Wallace learns that his intended interview has befallen tragedy and faced without a topic for his next show, Wallace is intrigued by a flyer from a man offering room and board as well as plenty of stories.
Wallace makes contact with the individual and travels two hours into rural Manitoba at night to meet the man at his expansive estate. Upon meeting Howard Howe (Michael Parks), Wallace is captivated by the elderly wheelchair-bound gentleman and his tales of life at sea including meeting Ernest Hemingway during the war. As Wallace sat spellbound by the tales Howard is telling him, he soon falls unconscious as a result of being drugged by his host. Things take a very dark turn the following morning when Howard learns that he has lost a leg of which Howard proclaims was the tragic result of a spider bite. Things become a living nightmare as Wallace quickly learns just how devious and diabolical Michael’s plans are for him and trapped in a remote area his humanity and faith are slowly stripped away by the situation he finds himself in.
Teddy and Ally travel to Manitoba due to a frantic call Wallace makes and not finding much assistance from the local authorities, turn to quirky and eccentric former homicide detective Guy LaPointe (Johnny Depp), who fears that Wallace has become the victim of an elusive killer whom LaPointe has been trying to find for years.
What follows is a dark, disturbing, and utterly captivating thriller in a race against time with the very essence and humanity of Wallace hanging in the balance.
While Smith inserts his trademark humor into the film, this is very much a psychological thriller and not a comedy. Depp does a fantastic job and is almost unrecognizable in his role as a homicide detective who is scheduled to appear in a subsequent film currently shooting. While it seemed a bit of a stretch that Ally would want be involved with Wallace, there was nonetheless a good bit of chemistry between them even though the majority of their scenes are shown via flashback.
Long and Parks propel the story as it is pretty much about the dramatic struggle between the two of them. Parks is captivating and creepy while the brash Wallace gets a lesson in humanity and what truly matters in life. While some will no doubt find the subject matter highly disturbing and may be quick to dismiss the film, this is one of the more clever and enjoyable thrillers in recent years and proves that Smith is a filmmaker capable of doing things other than his trademark comedies and should be encouraged to continue to broaden his horizons.
As it stands the film should delight fans of Smith but also allows him to expand his audience into new areas as this truly is one of the more memorable and entertaining films of the year.
http://sknr.net/2014/09/19/tusk/
Bob Mann (459 KP) rated Alita: Battle Angel (2019) in Movies
Sep 28, 2021
A Berserk Excursion Down Uncanny Valley.
“I see you”. James Cameron‘s fingerprints are all over this one, as producer ahead of his threatened (and with this movie-goer, entirely unwanted) Avatar sequels. Alita is a huge great smelly CGI mess of a film, but quite fun with it.
The Plot.
Christophe Waltz plays Dr. Dyson (no, not that one), a cyber-surgeon in the 24th century whose job is to give cyber/human crossovers (which just about everyone now seems to be) a ‘service’ to get them back on the road again.
Hanging over Iron City – in just the same way as bricks don’t – is a huge floating cloud city called Zalem (“What keeps it up?”; “Engineering!”). A stream of detritus falls from the city into the scrap yards below, and Dr Dyson scavenges through the mess for parts. He discovers that the best way to get ahead in business is to… get a head! In this case, it’s the head and upper torso of a female ‘teenage’ cyber-girl who he finds to be still alive and who he names “Alita”.
But Alita (Rosa Salazar) isn’t just any teenage girl. When fitted out with a new body, one very precious to Dyson, Alita proves to have massive strength and dexterity which sets her up to trial for the national sport of Motorball: a no-holds-barred race around an arena to capture and keep a ball. Her love interest, Hugo (Keean Johnson), can help her in that department.
But dark forces are also in play and the agents of Nova, the Zalem-overseer, have great interest in destroying Alita before she can damage his plans.
What a mess!
I’ve significantly simplified the plot and reduced the characters referenced. There are so many different things going on here, it’s like they’ve made Back to the Future I, II and III and squeezed them all into one film. There’s Dyson’s ex-wife Chiran (Jennifer Connolly) and her partner in crime Vector (Maherashala Ali); there’s their pet thug called Grewishka (Jackie Earle Haley); there’s a bunch of “Hunter-Warriors” including a vicious sword-wielding guy called Zapan (Ed Skrein); there’s a kind of “Lost Boys” vibe to Hugo’s pals including Alita-hater Tanji (Jorge Lendeborg Jr.); etc. etc. etc. It’s a huge great sprawling mess of a plot.
The movie is also highly derivative, and watching it feels like you are working through a mental set of check-boxes of the films it apes: Wall-E (check); Elysium (check); Terminator (check); Rollerball (if you’re old enough to remember that one) (check); even some Harry Potter quidditch thrown in for good measure.
Urm… berserk dialogue.
The story is based on a Manga work by Yukito Kishiro, but the script by James Cameron, director Robert Rodriquez and Laeta Kalogridis has some bat-shit crazy moments.
Remembering that Cameron in Avatar brought us the mineral ‘unobtainium’ there are similar ‘jolt yourself awake’ moments here. At one point Waltz starts talking about what sounds like “Panda c***s”…. I’m sorry… what?? (This was clearly an episode of David Attenborough’s “Life on Earth” that passed me by! Although frankly, if male pandas took a bit more interest in panda c***s, that wouldn’t necessarily be a bad thing. But I digress….)
The turns.
What stands out if the quality of the cast. Who wouldn’t kill to have Waltz, Connolly and Ali starring in their film? The inclusion of Maherashala Ali in here was a surprise to me. I know he has had a part in “The Hunger Games” series, but this is surely (Marvel must be kicking themselves) his most ‘mainstream’ film to date. And he again really shows his class, bringing a gravitas to all the scenes he’s in.
It was also interesting to see Ed Skrein in a movie for the second time in a month. He was the racist cop in “If Beale Street Could Talk“, and here he plays an equally unpleasant character with a sideline in vanity.
Also good fun is to see the cameo of who plays Nova in the final scene of the film. I was not expecting that.
But the film lives and dies on believing Alita, and after you get used to the rather spooky ‘uncanny valley’ eyes, Rosa Salazar really breathes life into the android character: you can really believe its a teenage android girl developing her understanding of the world and of love. (We’ll gloss over the age thing here which doesn’t make a lot of sense!). One thing’s for sure, when Alita gives her heart to a boy, she really gives her heart to a boy!
Will I like it?
I was not expecting to, but did. It’s a big, brash, loud CGI-stuffed adventure, but well done and visually appealing (as you would expect given the director is Robert Rodriguez of “Sin City” fame). The BBFC have given it a 12A rating in the UK, which feels appropriate: there are some pretty graphic scenes of violence (true they are “mostly involving robots fighting each other” as the BBFC says, but not all). That would make it not very suitable for younger children.
But I was entertained. You might well be too.
The Plot.
Christophe Waltz plays Dr. Dyson (no, not that one), a cyber-surgeon in the 24th century whose job is to give cyber/human crossovers (which just about everyone now seems to be) a ‘service’ to get them back on the road again.
Hanging over Iron City – in just the same way as bricks don’t – is a huge floating cloud city called Zalem (“What keeps it up?”; “Engineering!”). A stream of detritus falls from the city into the scrap yards below, and Dr Dyson scavenges through the mess for parts. He discovers that the best way to get ahead in business is to… get a head! In this case, it’s the head and upper torso of a female ‘teenage’ cyber-girl who he finds to be still alive and who he names “Alita”.
But Alita (Rosa Salazar) isn’t just any teenage girl. When fitted out with a new body, one very precious to Dyson, Alita proves to have massive strength and dexterity which sets her up to trial for the national sport of Motorball: a no-holds-barred race around an arena to capture and keep a ball. Her love interest, Hugo (Keean Johnson), can help her in that department.
But dark forces are also in play and the agents of Nova, the Zalem-overseer, have great interest in destroying Alita before she can damage his plans.
What a mess!
I’ve significantly simplified the plot and reduced the characters referenced. There are so many different things going on here, it’s like they’ve made Back to the Future I, II and III and squeezed them all into one film. There’s Dyson’s ex-wife Chiran (Jennifer Connolly) and her partner in crime Vector (Maherashala Ali); there’s their pet thug called Grewishka (Jackie Earle Haley); there’s a bunch of “Hunter-Warriors” including a vicious sword-wielding guy called Zapan (Ed Skrein); there’s a kind of “Lost Boys” vibe to Hugo’s pals including Alita-hater Tanji (Jorge Lendeborg Jr.); etc. etc. etc. It’s a huge great sprawling mess of a plot.
The movie is also highly derivative, and watching it feels like you are working through a mental set of check-boxes of the films it apes: Wall-E (check); Elysium (check); Terminator (check); Rollerball (if you’re old enough to remember that one) (check); even some Harry Potter quidditch thrown in for good measure.
Urm… berserk dialogue.
The story is based on a Manga work by Yukito Kishiro, but the script by James Cameron, director Robert Rodriquez and Laeta Kalogridis has some bat-shit crazy moments.
Remembering that Cameron in Avatar brought us the mineral ‘unobtainium’ there are similar ‘jolt yourself awake’ moments here. At one point Waltz starts talking about what sounds like “Panda c***s”…. I’m sorry… what?? (This was clearly an episode of David Attenborough’s “Life on Earth” that passed me by! Although frankly, if male pandas took a bit more interest in panda c***s, that wouldn’t necessarily be a bad thing. But I digress….)
The turns.
What stands out if the quality of the cast. Who wouldn’t kill to have Waltz, Connolly and Ali starring in their film? The inclusion of Maherashala Ali in here was a surprise to me. I know he has had a part in “The Hunger Games” series, but this is surely (Marvel must be kicking themselves) his most ‘mainstream’ film to date. And he again really shows his class, bringing a gravitas to all the scenes he’s in.
It was also interesting to see Ed Skrein in a movie for the second time in a month. He was the racist cop in “If Beale Street Could Talk“, and here he plays an equally unpleasant character with a sideline in vanity.
Also good fun is to see the cameo of who plays Nova in the final scene of the film. I was not expecting that.
But the film lives and dies on believing Alita, and after you get used to the rather spooky ‘uncanny valley’ eyes, Rosa Salazar really breathes life into the android character: you can really believe its a teenage android girl developing her understanding of the world and of love. (We’ll gloss over the age thing here which doesn’t make a lot of sense!). One thing’s for sure, when Alita gives her heart to a boy, she really gives her heart to a boy!
Will I like it?
I was not expecting to, but did. It’s a big, brash, loud CGI-stuffed adventure, but well done and visually appealing (as you would expect given the director is Robert Rodriguez of “Sin City” fame). The BBFC have given it a 12A rating in the UK, which feels appropriate: there are some pretty graphic scenes of violence (true they are “mostly involving robots fighting each other” as the BBFC says, but not all). That would make it not very suitable for younger children.
But I was entertained. You might well be too.
Kirk Bage (1775 KP) rated Roma (2018) in Movies
Mar 2, 2020 (Updated Mar 3, 2020)
I watched Roma exactly a week ago today. And although I knew 20 minutes in that I loved it, and at the end that I really loved it, I have taken that time to let it settle within me in before coming to write about it. Some films are so good that you have to do that: let it sink into you fully, before doing anything so trivial as judging and comparing them. Roma is incomparable! I have never seen anything like it, or felt as deeply moved by a film in a long time.
Not that it didn’t get attention at the time of its release, it did, receiving 10 Oscar nominations and winning 3, for best foreign language film, director and cinematography, but it certainly wasn’t seen by as many people as it should have been, despite its presence on Netflix from the start. Having digested it now, and spending some time reading about how and why it was made, I feel a slight mission to recommend it to as many people as I can.
Based on Alfonso Cuarón’s own childhood in Mexico City, and his memories of his family and especially their housemaid, Liboria (Libo) Rodriguez, to whom the film is dedicated, it is a masterpiece labour of love that few directors ever achieve or even attempt to make. After a strong career of exceptional films, including Y Tu Mamá También, Children of Men and Gravity, it was the box office and critical success of the latter that gave Cuarón carte blanche to go and make whatever project he chose. Where many might have been tempted by the big money of superhero or fantasy movies (for which he had some experience with Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban) he went back to his roots and shot a very personal non-English film, in black and white, where no music exists except that which occurs naturally, and on the surface not much happens.
At least it feels like not much is happening, such is the naturalistic, almost improvised (although it wasn’t) style and pace; shot with a lens capturing detail and nuance with some of the most beautiful photography I have ever had the privilege to see. Truly, an awful lot is happening, but you have to feel and experience it, not simply be told it by the narrative. It takes a while for our Hollywood conditioned brains to accept this at first, and many might come to it and give up half an hour in because of that challenge. I can promise, however, there is not a single thing boring about this film, unless humanity is boring.
Oscar nominated lead Yalitza Aparicio as the shy, loving maid, Cleo, was not an actor before this film. She auditioned and was hand picked by Cuarón from hundreds of young women, without knowing who he was or what the film was about. Apparently, the film was shot in sequence so as not to confuse her emotionally on her extraordinary journey. She is so unassuming and natural that part of you falls in love with her immediately. In time, we almost come to forget we are watching an act at all, and almost become her, such is the empathy she evokes.
Which isn’t an easy ride, as we watch her be gently and then cruelly ignored, mistreated and used; climaxing in one of the most astonishingly painful and jaw-dropping scenes imaginable, and then a scene of such powerful redemption and humanity it instantly breaks the heart and lifts the soul. All the while she never asks for attention or love, but is just herself: a young woman living a difficult but beautiful life in a country and time full of turmoil, prejudice and social change.
The recreation of Mexico in 1970 is so breathtaking, it is hard to imagine at times we are not watching a documentary from that era. But, it is the detail the lens chooses to capture that reminds you this is a visual poem and a love-letter to a time, a place and a family far away in history and the memory of one man (represented by ten year old Carlos Peralta as Paco). At times it evokes the work of the very greatest film artists of all time: Bergman, Fellini, Hitchcock etc. Not one image is wasted or insignificant, from the reflection of the sky in water, to the dog-shit constantly lining the driveway. Everything is chosen and meaningful in the full context of the work.
There is no awkward exposition, no dramatic moments milked for all they are worth, no sequences of heightened excitement that manipulate us; simply truthful moments that hang in the air for what they are, leaving us to decide how we relate to them without ever preaching or teaching us how. In that way, it is a work of such maturity that I doubt many living directors could emulate it at all. The closest comparison I can think of is the personal passion Spielberg put into Shindler’s List, but really it is a moot comparison, and in fact owes much more to films like Haneke’s The White Ribbon.
Can it be faulted? Well, yes, certainly. But, honestly, I don’t see the point in trying. It is as close to perfection a small story of this kind can be. Importantly, I think it is an open film, that allows us to take from it whatever we like, relating to our own experiences and cares. For me, it said that any pain and hardship can be overcome, as long as there is love and beauty walking by its side. A message of no small importance. If you haven’t seen it, I urge you to do so. If you have, then please keep spreading the word. I believe it to be a genuine classic that will endure the criticism of many decades to come. Without a doubt in my mind something very special indeed.
Not that it didn’t get attention at the time of its release, it did, receiving 10 Oscar nominations and winning 3, for best foreign language film, director and cinematography, but it certainly wasn’t seen by as many people as it should have been, despite its presence on Netflix from the start. Having digested it now, and spending some time reading about how and why it was made, I feel a slight mission to recommend it to as many people as I can.
Based on Alfonso Cuarón’s own childhood in Mexico City, and his memories of his family and especially their housemaid, Liboria (Libo) Rodriguez, to whom the film is dedicated, it is a masterpiece labour of love that few directors ever achieve or even attempt to make. After a strong career of exceptional films, including Y Tu Mamá También, Children of Men and Gravity, it was the box office and critical success of the latter that gave Cuarón carte blanche to go and make whatever project he chose. Where many might have been tempted by the big money of superhero or fantasy movies (for which he had some experience with Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban) he went back to his roots and shot a very personal non-English film, in black and white, where no music exists except that which occurs naturally, and on the surface not much happens.
At least it feels like not much is happening, such is the naturalistic, almost improvised (although it wasn’t) style and pace; shot with a lens capturing detail and nuance with some of the most beautiful photography I have ever had the privilege to see. Truly, an awful lot is happening, but you have to feel and experience it, not simply be told it by the narrative. It takes a while for our Hollywood conditioned brains to accept this at first, and many might come to it and give up half an hour in because of that challenge. I can promise, however, there is not a single thing boring about this film, unless humanity is boring.
Oscar nominated lead Yalitza Aparicio as the shy, loving maid, Cleo, was not an actor before this film. She auditioned and was hand picked by Cuarón from hundreds of young women, without knowing who he was or what the film was about. Apparently, the film was shot in sequence so as not to confuse her emotionally on her extraordinary journey. She is so unassuming and natural that part of you falls in love with her immediately. In time, we almost come to forget we are watching an act at all, and almost become her, such is the empathy she evokes.
Which isn’t an easy ride, as we watch her be gently and then cruelly ignored, mistreated and used; climaxing in one of the most astonishingly painful and jaw-dropping scenes imaginable, and then a scene of such powerful redemption and humanity it instantly breaks the heart and lifts the soul. All the while she never asks for attention or love, but is just herself: a young woman living a difficult but beautiful life in a country and time full of turmoil, prejudice and social change.
The recreation of Mexico in 1970 is so breathtaking, it is hard to imagine at times we are not watching a documentary from that era. But, it is the detail the lens chooses to capture that reminds you this is a visual poem and a love-letter to a time, a place and a family far away in history and the memory of one man (represented by ten year old Carlos Peralta as Paco). At times it evokes the work of the very greatest film artists of all time: Bergman, Fellini, Hitchcock etc. Not one image is wasted or insignificant, from the reflection of the sky in water, to the dog-shit constantly lining the driveway. Everything is chosen and meaningful in the full context of the work.
There is no awkward exposition, no dramatic moments milked for all they are worth, no sequences of heightened excitement that manipulate us; simply truthful moments that hang in the air for what they are, leaving us to decide how we relate to them without ever preaching or teaching us how. In that way, it is a work of such maturity that I doubt many living directors could emulate it at all. The closest comparison I can think of is the personal passion Spielberg put into Shindler’s List, but really it is a moot comparison, and in fact owes much more to films like Haneke’s The White Ribbon.
Can it be faulted? Well, yes, certainly. But, honestly, I don’t see the point in trying. It is as close to perfection a small story of this kind can be. Importantly, I think it is an open film, that allows us to take from it whatever we like, relating to our own experiences and cares. For me, it said that any pain and hardship can be overcome, as long as there is love and beauty walking by its side. A message of no small importance. If you haven’t seen it, I urge you to do so. If you have, then please keep spreading the word. I believe it to be a genuine classic that will endure the criticism of many decades to come. Without a doubt in my mind something very special indeed.
Purple Phoenix Games (2266 KP) rated Horreos in Tabletop Games
Jan 23, 2022
I’m not a huge history buff or anything, but I am definitely interested in my family lineage/ancestry. What does that have to do with this game? Well, with the last name Rodriguez, I’m sure you guessed that there’s some Spanish heritage in my background. My Dad will often talk about how our family originally came from Spain a loooooong time ago. Specifically from Galicia, Spain. So when I saw this ButtonShy game based on the real-life location of Galicia, my roots were calling to me and I had to get it. Hórreos gives us a small glimpse into life in 18th century Galicia – and it sounds pretty great!
Hórreos is a 2-player game in which players are competing to build the most effective and aesthetically pleasing hórreo in town. What is a hórreo? It is a building for storing grain, elevated from the ground to prevent rodents from infiltrating the structure. So in this game, players are building long and ornate hórreos that not only look stunning, but can keep the rats out of the grain! To setup for a game, each player receives 2 Action cards and the Hórreo cards are shuffled. The deck is placed between the players, and the top card is placed beside the deck to form a 2-card Market. The Leader card is placed beside the Market, facing the starting player. Pictured below is the setup for the beginning of a game.
Over a series of rounds, players will be taking 1 of 4 possible actions as they attempt to build the highest-scoring structure. Each player has 2 Action cards at their disposal. Each Action card has 2 possible Actions on it – one card is Sabotage or Plan, the other is Steal or Build. Both players will secretly choose whichever Action they wish to perform this turn, and place their card face-down in front of them. Players will then simultaneous reveal their chosen Actions, and they will be resolved in the following order – Sabotage, Plan, Steal, and Build. If a player has chosen to Sabotage, they will rotate their opponent’s Action card, forcing them to perform the other listed action this round. To perform the Plan action, the player will select one of the cards from the Market to be placed into their personal supply tableau. If you have chosen to Steal, you will select a card from your opponent’s supply, and take it into your own supply tableau. And finally, to Build is to move a card from your supply to your hórreo. Cards in your hórreo cannot be stolen. As with many other ButtonShy games, cards in your hórreo may be placed adjacent to, or even overlapping, previously played cards – cards may never be tucked under cards in your existing hórreo.
If both players have chosen the same action, the player with the Leader card facing them gets to decide which player will resolve their action first. The Leader card is then rotated to face the opposite player, and so on, for future ‘ties’. An important note – you cannot pick the same Action twice in a row, you must pick one of the other 3 Actions. So take that strategic tidbit into consideration when deciding what to do each round! The game continues in this fashion, with players selecting/simultaneously revealing Actions, resolving their Actions in order, and building their hórreo until there is 1 or fewer cards left in the Market and the players’ supplies at the end of a round. At that point, the game ends, points are tallied, and the winner is declared!
Points are scored in several ways. Most of the hórreo cards are ‘decorated’ with crosses and pikes, and each pair you have in your final hórreo will earn you points. Similarly, the number of doors in your hórreo, as well as adjacent pillars supporting your structure, will earn you points dependent upon the number (the more doors you have, the more points you earn, etc.). As mentioned earlier, you’re trying to keep these pesky rats out of your grain, so any rat pictured on your cards is worth -2 points, but each owl you have pictured eats (cancels out) one rat. And of course, whichever player has build the longest hórreo earns extra points. All points are tallied, and the player with the highest score is the winner!
I have to admit that Hórreos surprised me. The gameplay seems simple enough, so I honestly wasn’t really expecting a lot from this game. For such a small game, Hórreos is all about strategy. Each round, you only have 4 Actions from which to choose, and that really forces you to think long-term with your strategy. But at the same time, since Actions are revealed simultaneously and resolved in a set order, you have to consider what your opponent might do. For example, the Sabotage action forces the opposing player to use the other Action of their chosen card this round. Can you bluff your opponent into playing that Sabotage, forcing you to switch Actions, thus letting you perform the Action you really wanted to perform? That goes hand in hand with the fact that you cannot choose the same Action twice in a row. Can you anticipate your opponents moves to benefit your strategy? Or will you be out of touch, and thus be forced to essentially waste a turn performing an Action that you actually didn’t want to? And don’t forget the Leader card – if players both pick the same Action, the Leader can decide who resolves first. Maybe it’s strategically better to let your opponent resolve first, so then you can just negate what they just did, or vice versa.
To touch on components for a minute, this is a game of 18 cards in a wallet. So nothing out of the ordinary for ButtonShy. That being said, production quality is always top notch with these games, and I have no complaints. the cards are thick and sturdy, and the wallet is nice and supportive. The artwork is thematic and refreshing, while not being too overwhelming. Is it the most beautiful game I’ve ever seen? No. But it is aesthetically and thematically appropriate, and gives a serene and peaceful vibe. ButtonShy has yet to disappoint with their components, so I am definitely a big fan!
Hórreos is a pretty solid game. I’m not personally a huge fan of ‘take that’ type games, and there is an element of that in this gameplay. But there seems to be enough strategy needed to negate some of that direct competitiveness. The game itself is fast to teach, learn, and play, and that adds to the overall appeal. It’s not necessarily my favorite 2-player game, but it’s one that I can see myself pulling out often when I’ve got a quick minute between other games, or when I’ve got a little downtime. Purple Phoenix Games gives this one a structural 4 / 6. Check it out if you’re in the market for something small, yet strategic!
Hórreos is a 2-player game in which players are competing to build the most effective and aesthetically pleasing hórreo in town. What is a hórreo? It is a building for storing grain, elevated from the ground to prevent rodents from infiltrating the structure. So in this game, players are building long and ornate hórreos that not only look stunning, but can keep the rats out of the grain! To setup for a game, each player receives 2 Action cards and the Hórreo cards are shuffled. The deck is placed between the players, and the top card is placed beside the deck to form a 2-card Market. The Leader card is placed beside the Market, facing the starting player. Pictured below is the setup for the beginning of a game.
Over a series of rounds, players will be taking 1 of 4 possible actions as they attempt to build the highest-scoring structure. Each player has 2 Action cards at their disposal. Each Action card has 2 possible Actions on it – one card is Sabotage or Plan, the other is Steal or Build. Both players will secretly choose whichever Action they wish to perform this turn, and place their card face-down in front of them. Players will then simultaneous reveal their chosen Actions, and they will be resolved in the following order – Sabotage, Plan, Steal, and Build. If a player has chosen to Sabotage, they will rotate their opponent’s Action card, forcing them to perform the other listed action this round. To perform the Plan action, the player will select one of the cards from the Market to be placed into their personal supply tableau. If you have chosen to Steal, you will select a card from your opponent’s supply, and take it into your own supply tableau. And finally, to Build is to move a card from your supply to your hórreo. Cards in your hórreo cannot be stolen. As with many other ButtonShy games, cards in your hórreo may be placed adjacent to, or even overlapping, previously played cards – cards may never be tucked under cards in your existing hórreo.
If both players have chosen the same action, the player with the Leader card facing them gets to decide which player will resolve their action first. The Leader card is then rotated to face the opposite player, and so on, for future ‘ties’. An important note – you cannot pick the same Action twice in a row, you must pick one of the other 3 Actions. So take that strategic tidbit into consideration when deciding what to do each round! The game continues in this fashion, with players selecting/simultaneously revealing Actions, resolving their Actions in order, and building their hórreo until there is 1 or fewer cards left in the Market and the players’ supplies at the end of a round. At that point, the game ends, points are tallied, and the winner is declared!
Points are scored in several ways. Most of the hórreo cards are ‘decorated’ with crosses and pikes, and each pair you have in your final hórreo will earn you points. Similarly, the number of doors in your hórreo, as well as adjacent pillars supporting your structure, will earn you points dependent upon the number (the more doors you have, the more points you earn, etc.). As mentioned earlier, you’re trying to keep these pesky rats out of your grain, so any rat pictured on your cards is worth -2 points, but each owl you have pictured eats (cancels out) one rat. And of course, whichever player has build the longest hórreo earns extra points. All points are tallied, and the player with the highest score is the winner!
I have to admit that Hórreos surprised me. The gameplay seems simple enough, so I honestly wasn’t really expecting a lot from this game. For such a small game, Hórreos is all about strategy. Each round, you only have 4 Actions from which to choose, and that really forces you to think long-term with your strategy. But at the same time, since Actions are revealed simultaneously and resolved in a set order, you have to consider what your opponent might do. For example, the Sabotage action forces the opposing player to use the other Action of their chosen card this round. Can you bluff your opponent into playing that Sabotage, forcing you to switch Actions, thus letting you perform the Action you really wanted to perform? That goes hand in hand with the fact that you cannot choose the same Action twice in a row. Can you anticipate your opponents moves to benefit your strategy? Or will you be out of touch, and thus be forced to essentially waste a turn performing an Action that you actually didn’t want to? And don’t forget the Leader card – if players both pick the same Action, the Leader can decide who resolves first. Maybe it’s strategically better to let your opponent resolve first, so then you can just negate what they just did, or vice versa.
To touch on components for a minute, this is a game of 18 cards in a wallet. So nothing out of the ordinary for ButtonShy. That being said, production quality is always top notch with these games, and I have no complaints. the cards are thick and sturdy, and the wallet is nice and supportive. The artwork is thematic and refreshing, while not being too overwhelming. Is it the most beautiful game I’ve ever seen? No. But it is aesthetically and thematically appropriate, and gives a serene and peaceful vibe. ButtonShy has yet to disappoint with their components, so I am definitely a big fan!
Hórreos is a pretty solid game. I’m not personally a huge fan of ‘take that’ type games, and there is an element of that in this gameplay. But there seems to be enough strategy needed to negate some of that direct competitiveness. The game itself is fast to teach, learn, and play, and that adds to the overall appeal. It’s not necessarily my favorite 2-player game, but it’s one that I can see myself pulling out often when I’ve got a quick minute between other games, or when I’ve got a little downtime. Purple Phoenix Games gives this one a structural 4 / 6. Check it out if you’re in the market for something small, yet strategic!
