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Halloween: Resurrection (2002)
Halloween: Resurrection (2002)
2002 | Horror
Fair play, Halloween Resurrection is not an easy watch for a whole fistful of reasons. Terrible dialogue, boderline-offensive quick edits, a ill advised attempt and mixing in found footage, the forced nature of pretty much every plot point, the bizarre cold open where Laurie fucking KISSES Michael before being unceremoniously knifed out of the remaining 80 minutes. Honestly, Busta Rhymes roundhouse kicking Michael in the face whilst making innapropriate "Kung Fu" noises is probably the best bit.
The movie threatens to become entertaining for approximately 40 seconds following the excruciatingly annoying characters realisation that they're in danger, and the obligatory final-girl chase is ok, but that's ruined by Mr Rhymes returning to save the day whilst shitting out terrible one liners. Did Busta fund this thing or something?

Rick Rosenthal's return to the series is a far cry from the far superior Halloween II. Just an abhorrently crap film all round.
  
The Old Guard (2020)
The Old Guard (2020)
2020 | Action, Fantasy
Speaking of scripting problems… a fun game to play when watching this Netflix exclusive flop is to count how many lazy, generic lines are said in all the right places. Even better, try pausing it before a character is obviously about to give a pithy reply to someone and guess what they will say. You will be right most of the time. This game is far more fun than actually watching this ploddingly predictable tale, that is a half decent idea ruined at every turn by inept film-making. Any tension is consistently drained by the awful directing and editing, and every time someone speaks my sphincter tightened in embarrassment for the actors. Charlize Theron tries, bless her, but ultimately her earnest expression just makes her look constipated – I guess if you were that old you would be! Almost nothing here to recommend that you can’t find in dozens of other places done far better.
  
Cheater (Curious Liaisons, #1)
Cheater (Curious Liaisons, #1)
10
10.0 (1 Ratings)
Book Rating
This made me laugh, this made me cry.

I loved finding out the details of what happened that night. How mistaken identity ruined so many lives that night but how strangely it all worked itself out in the end. How meeting that certain girl again made him realise how far he'd fallen and how he tried his best to make himself worthy again.

I feel like I have to give Lucas's mum a mention. She is CRAZY! Every time she's mentioned, she's either saying something about Grandbabies or shouting some sort of sex related word. It was hilarious at times, especially when she was talking about Connect Four.

I also loved how there was an audiobook free in my Kindle Unlimited download of this, my only issue with that is that they spoke slower than I was reading it myself, so I only listened when in the bath but it was still good.
  
    Northern Tale 2 (Premium)

    Northern Tale 2 (Premium)

    Games and Entertainment

    (0 Ratings) Rate It

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    Try the awesome sequel! After the evil witch Gesta was defeated, the time of peace was restored....

The Rocketeer (1991)
The Rocketeer (1991)
1991 | Action, Drama, Family
Hated it
Me trying to find something I liked about The Rocketeer: "Well that part was cool. Yeah, but it was quickly ruined by x,y, and z. Besides, the terrible part that happened right after made it all for nothing. Ok, but what about...Nope, that was pretty crappy too."

If Batman Vs. Superman: Dawn of Justice has taught us anything it's that sometimes superhero movies get it wrong. Not only does The Rocketeer get it wrong, it steps on its own feet before it can even get off the blocks properly. Oftentimes we have the case of decent actors getting placed with a dud of a script, but that's far from the situation here. Sure the actors didn't have much of a chance with the awful writing, but I have the strangest feeling that even if the writing had been superb these actors still would have found a way to muck it up. It's that bad. I'm talking grind your teeth bad.

To its credit, the film doesn't dupe you as it gets off to a terrible start almost immediately. Twenty minutes in and I was already thinking of the number of different things that I could have been doing rather than watching The Rocketeeer. Was it all bad? No, but mostly. The redeemable parts were quickly ruined by their own contradictions. Perfect example, everytime main character Cliff Secord (Billy Campbell) donned the Rocketeer suit, the action was pretty sweet to watch. Considering the fact that he wasn't in the suit for even a full half hour, things soured pretty quickly.

Corny moments abound in the film. I was hoping for a base that was more serious and less campy and all I can say is: Mission Not Accomplished. Between the absolute joke of a villain, the lame plot twist, and a number of other things, I don't know what bothered me the most.

The Rocketeer is the story of an aviator who is on the run from the mob after discovering a jet pack in the 1930's. Yeah, now that I think about it, the plot should have told me everything I needed to know about expectations. Skip it. I give it a 10.