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Stir Until Petrified (Violetta Massoni #1)
Stir Until Petrified (Violetta Massoni #1)
Theda Valle | 2020 | Paranormal
9
9.0 (1 Ratings)
Book Rating
Contains spoilers, click to show
165 of 200
Kindle
Stir until petrified ( A Violetta Massoni book 1)
By Theda Vallee

Welcome to beautiful Palermo Bay, where the witches are fierce

...and the biscotti is to die for.

Violetta "Etta" Massoni is an Italian witch living and working with her overbearing family in the sleepy seaside town of Palermo Bay. Healing from tragedy, she wants nothing to do with the magic she was born with.

Etta soon finds herself forced into the world of magic that she had resisted for so long. The peaceful calm of her community is shattered by a string of attacks that leaves fifteen people trapped in their dreams. An ominous magic task force is sent to investigate, with Etta as their number one suspect.

Her family has never been able to mind their own business, and they aren’t about to start now! Dragging her grandmother from crime scenes will be the least of her worries. Join Etta and the whole Massoni girl gang on a perilous, hilarious adventure filled with magic, myth, and minestrone!


After waiting for so long I finally got round to reading this! Oh my god! I don’t remember the last time I gave a 5* and enjoyed a book so much! I laughed I adore Etta and her family! It was packed with wit and so well written! The last character I loved this much was Charley Davidson from Darynda Jones’s books! I also learnt what a Benandanti was and that in this book I’d be expecting a knock at the door on his 10th birthday. Also my favourite quote which had me laughing out loud!


“Where am I supposed to sit?” I eyed the motorcycle’s seat, trying to calculate how much butt room there was. He handed me a helmet, pointing to the back of the bike. “You sit behind me. It’s called the bitch seat.” “Does that make where you’re sitting the prick perch?” I asked, climbing on behind him. As I’d feared, sitting made my shorts move so far up my nether region, I was positive we’d need a search and rescue team to get them out later.

I really can’t wait to read the next book!
  
The Last Shark (1981)
The Last Shark (1981)
1981 | Action, Horror
6
5.5 (2 Ratings)
Movie Rating
An oldie... but a goodie?

A large great white shark is interested in taking part in a seaside town's regatta but the major would rather it stayed away so that paying visitors can go about safely spending their money.

You'd be forgiven for thinking that The Last Shark was actually Jaws 2, evidently Universal thought that too and sued the life out of them. With such a familiar feeling to the whole affair it felt like it went fairly quickly, at times, too quickly. More than once I noted down that the scenes just left out the "boring bits" of filler and went straight to the nitty-gritty of moving the story along... this is what we always wanted right? In practice, it's not all that great.

When I started my notes with "what is this, windsurfing porn?" (I started writing watersports fun but quickly changed that.) I felt confident of daft enjoyment ahead, and with a great transition from music over the scene to music in the scene... well, it won me over. Then to throw in the classic line "absolutely nothing is going to happen!" Wow!

Being serious about this review feels a little over the top, so let's just say it's exactly what you'd expect from a film ripping off another film when both those films are shark films... there were corners cut obviously and it tries to keep to the action side more than anything else but that works pretty well considering.

My note taking highlight (after windsurfing porn) was the fact that the local butcher must have been doing a roaring trade, forget all those BBQs, he was selling slabs of meat for bait hand over fist. At least someone came out of all of this better off!

You've got teens in peril, people hunting the shark, a local politician with bigger things on his mind, and that's what makes Jaws... sorry... that's what makes Jaws... DAMNIT... The Last Shark! That's what makes The Last Shark an amusing watch.

Originally posted on: https://emmaatthemovies.blogspot.com/2020/08/the-last-shark-movie-review.html
  
The Witches (2020)
The Witches (2020)
2020 | Adventure, Comedy, Family
Not a patch on the original
The Witches is a 2020 retelling of the Roald Dahl children’s story, from director Robert Zemeckis. Remakes and reboots have been commonplace in the movies for quite some time, so it’s no surprise that The Witches has been given a Hollywood makeover, especially as it has been 30 years since the original film adaptation was released in 1990. I will readily admit that the original film is a childhood favourite, so this remake has very big shows to fill.

This time round, the story has been transported to late 1960s Alabama. It follows a unnamed boy (named in the credits as simply ‘Hero Boy’), played by Jahzir Bruno, and his grandma (Octavia Spencer) as they encounter a witch in their home town, prompting her to whisk him away to a seaside resort. Unbeknownst to them, this seaside resort is also where the Grand High Witch (Anne Hathaway) is due to unveil her dastardly plans to transform the world’s children. In his bids to thwart the witches plans, Hero Boy bumps into some familiar names, greedy English boy Bruno Jenkins (Codie-Lei Eastick) and put-upon hotel manager Mr Stringer (Stanley Tucci).

I was very sceptical about this in general, and while I think my scepticism was most definitely warranted, I was at least pleasantly surprised that moving the action from England to 60s America worked. It gives the film a different vibe with a new setting (with some very good costume and set design too), yet still keeping the same base story. However I’m afraid that’s the only good change that they’ve made in this entire remake. The 60s setting works, but the hotel itself lacks the beauty and grandeur of the hotel in the original. Gone are the imposing shots of a beautiful old hotel set on top of a cliff with its gorgeous landscapes (which incidentally is a real life hotel called The Headland which is on my travel wish list), and instead replaced with something that looks good on the surface, but is sadly lacking in realism and has obviously been entirely computer generated.

And this is the major problem with The Witches (2020), it’s over reliance and overuse of CGI. Everything in this, from the mice to the hotel exteriors to the witches true appearance, are all computer generated, and not particularly well at that. The mice look pretty bad and unrealistic, but the worst of all is what they’ve done to the witches. The changes themselves may have worked had this used practical effects, but sadly the CGI only serves to highlight how ridiculous the changes are. From the missing two fingers on each hand to the elongated mouths with demon like tongues, the witches to begin with seem creepy but after this initial shock, you see how absurd and laughable they really are.

Unfortunately even the performances can’t save this adaptation. Octavia Spencer is as reliable as always and Jazhir Bruno and Codie-Lei Eastick are quite adorable, but the rest of the fairly decent cast are sadly misplaced. The usually loveable Stanley Tucci is given absolutely nothing to work with, not even giving him a chance to try and match up to Rowan Atkinson’s original Mr Stringer, and Chris Rock is sadly out of place as the voice of older Hero Mouse. However the worst offender here is Anne Hathaway. Admittedly she isn’t helped much by the poor transformations to the witches appearance, but all the CGI in the world couldn’t fix her questionable Eastern European accent and hammy performance. The fact that Angelica Huston put in a more sinister and believable performance with 90s facial prosthetics and practical effects is a credit to her and only highlights how bad a choice Hathaway was for this role.

While parts of this remake aren’t entirely condemnable, as some aspects do stick closer to Dahl’s original source material, overall it is a far inferior adaptation that loses everything that made the 1990 film such a classic. Gone are the sinister witches and the dark stories of missing children (the girl stuck in the picture is an image that has always stuck with me), instead replaced with a far too lighthearted story with an over reliance on CGI. The most worrying thing of all is that even Robert Zemeckis and Guillermo Del Toro being involved couldn’t save this.
  
The Shape of Night
The Shape of Night
Tess Gerritsen | 2019 | Mystery, Paranormal, Thriller
8
8.8 (4 Ratings)
Book Rating
This was a quick, fun read, and completely different from the author's previous titles - both her Rizzoli & Isles series and her stand-alone novels. I wouldn't call it romantic suspense, as it's being billed. There really isn't anything at all romantic about what happens to Ava. I'd call it paranormal mystery/suspense leaning toward gothic - and well done!

"After an unspeakable tragedy in Boston, Ava Collette flees to a remote village in Maine, where she rents an old house named Brodie’s Watch, hoping to work on a cookbook inspired by New England cuisine that she’s been trying to finish for months. In that isolated seaside mansion, Ava finally feels at peace . . . until she glimpses the long-dead sea captain who still resides there.

Rumor has it that Captain Jeremiah Brodie has haunted the house for more than a century. One night, Ava confronts the apparition, who feels all too real, and who welcomes her into his world—and into his arms. Even as Ava questions her own sanity, she eagerly looks forward to the captain’s ghostly visits. But she soon learns that the house she loves comes with a terrible secret, a secret that those in the village don’t want to reveal: Every woman who has ever lived in Brodie’s Watch has also died there. Is the ghost of Captain Brodie responsible, or is a flesh-and-blood killer at work?"

The descriptive passages are terrific, bringing a long-dead ghost to life in vivid detail. I had no trouble at all picturing the house as it was in the Captain's time, or believing the scenarios in which Ava found herself. I could absolutely see Hannibal the cat as he helped to rid the old house of its mouse population. I could almost taste the wonderful flavors in the meals Ava was testing for her cookbook. And I could very nearly smell the sea.

As with many of the author's previous works, she kept me guessing right up until the big reveal - which I did not see coming. The Shape of Night is a well-written, fast-paced read with a satisfying conclusion, and I'd love to see more like this from this author. (But of course, keep writing those Rizzoli & Isles stories, too, please.) 😊
  
    Mimpi Dreams

    Mimpi Dreams

    Games and Entertainment

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