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Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives (1986)
Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives (1986)
1986 | Horror
If you were to show someone who had never watched a Friday the 13th movie, one single film from the franchise, then Part VI would surely be the one. It does everything that this series aims to do so well - it's easy to see why it's such a fan favourite.

Part VI marks the turning point into supernatural territory. Jason is back properly this time, risen from the grave, essentially a zombie, and even more unkillable than he was before. In the entries preceding this one, Jason has always been an imposing figure sure, but this time around C.J. Graham makes him feel like a proper tank (something that would be carried on wholeheartedly by Kane Hodder).
Most of the cast are typical slasher types purely here to up the kill count, but Tommy Jarvis appear once again to round off his trilogy of films, this time played by Thom Mathews, easily the most recognisable and iconic portrayal of the character.
The kills come thick and fast, and although certainly not the bloodiest of the series, it still has some memorable moments (a dude gets folded in half like a deckchair, which is suitably ridiculous) and the general pacing of the movie is well realised.
The comedic tone is just right as well. It's not quite as goofy as Part V, and the humourous parts are genuinely funny. The dumb script just adds to this. The paintball scene is a little too much though, silly music and all.
Talking of music, Harry Manfredini returns to score, and his work continues to be one of the best parts about the franchise.

Jason Lives is a good time, through and through. It's a shining example of what can be great about 80s slashers - it's fun, it's violent, just the right amount of hammy, and is simply one of the best Friday the 13th films out there.
  
Scream 4 (2011)
Scream 4 (2011)
2011 | Horror, Mystery
11 years after Scream 3 "graced" cinema screens, Wes Craven returned to his meta horror series in an era where the genre had gone into full remake mode.

I'm not convinced that Scream 4 needs to exist, especially after the underwhelming way the third film closed out the original trilogy, but this entry is definitely a step up.
The Meta side of things is again a little over the top, but it's good to see Ghostface in a more modern setting. This Ghostface is brutal as well, and Scream 4 is arguably the goriest of the franchise, making it's iconic masked antagonist more intimidating than ever.

The returning cast are back again - Neve Campbell, Courtney Cox, and David Arquette - and have somehow survived all of the Scream movies - as per usual, it feels like a homecoming with them in tow. It's not often in horror you have one person make it this far, let alone three. It gives the series a uniqueness that I can appreciate.
The new characters are all written like typical cannon fodder slasher victims but they all serve there purpose well. Hayden Panittiere is a welcome addition, and it's nice to see Anthony Anderson in a pre Black-ish role.

The plot is so so. It's all ground that has been relentlessly trodden by this point, but it still works. Sidney is back in town. People start getting stabbed. Everyone is a suspect. Rinse and repeat.
The killer reveal in this one isn't too shoddy either, and makes more sense that the reveals in Scream 2 and 3, and there's a lot of direct homage to the first movie in how it's all executed (coming round full circle to the remake commentary)

All in all, Scream 4 is a bucket load of fun, even if it doesn't quite hit the heights if the original. It will be interesting to see how the upcoming sequel will turn out following Craven's death, but I have the feeling it won't quite be the same. Long live Wes Craven!
  
Willy's Wonderland (2021)
Willy's Wonderland (2021)
2021 | Horror, Thriller
8
6.7 (13 Ratings)
Movie Rating
Contains spoilers, click to show
I feel I should start this with something like 'I watched this so you don't have to' but that wouldn't be true. I watched this because I love 'So bad they're good' movies, so how could I not watch ' Nicolas Cage vs possessed animatronics in a family restaurant'.
So lets start with the obvious, Yes this is a 'Five nights at Freddy's' clone but that's never hidden, the poster, the trailer and even the films name tells you that.
Next, is it good? Hell yes. There are a lot of people out there who will say NO but that's the point. Willy's Wonderland is a modern 80's B movie and it's down there with the likes of 'Killer Klowns from Outer space' and "the Attack of the killer tomato's' or maybe something from Troma.
The animatronic costumes are creepy, their back story has been done before (but that's the point) and a lot of things make little sense, the restaurant seems to big, especially if you take the size of the air vents into consideration.
Then there's the Janitor, played by Nicolas Cage, who doesn't speak, has an alarm set so he knows when to have his next energy drink and who easily kicks the butt of the animatronics. That's it, there is no back story, almost no motivation and almost no reason for him being there. And we don't need it.


Willy's Wonderland is full of slasher and horror tropes. We have teens having sex and getting killed, we have Satanic cults, blood and creepy animatronics and almost nothing new. Except Nicolas Cage makes it his own. His performance is heading up to 'Mandy' levels but not quite as intense.


So, if you want to see a terrifying, serious horror then this isn't for you but, if you want to see Nicolas Cage beat up and animatronic ostrich then rip out it's spine ala Predator then this is the film for you (not really a spoiler, it's mostly in the trailer.)
  
Aquaslash (2019)
Aquaslash (2019)
2019 | Horror
The premise of Aquaslash is painfully simple, but immediately appeals to anyone that has even a passing interest in slasher flicks - A mystery assailant inserts giant blades into a water slide tunnel, at a busy water park. That's it. That's the film.
Well, unfortunately that's not all of it...
The film opens with a standard but interest-peaking POV scene from the killer, chopping up a couple of horny teenagers at the aformentioned water park, before we get a title card. And then (the unfortunate part) we get a whole hour of goofy teen drama - remember the tsunami of sex comedies that released in the wake of American Pie? Imagine one of the shittier ones, but with no funny bits, and that's the kind of stuff we're getting here.
The script is occasionally humourous, but mostly flat and the acting from everyone involved is a little wonky (except the token jaded old dude, that guy is great)
It's not the most boring thing I've ever sat through, but it's damn close, as countless red herrings are thrown at the audience. The eventual killer reveal by the way, manages to be predictable, and somehow make no sense whatsoever. It's weird.

Thank the lord then for the last 15 minutes, that is just ridiculous and gory enough to make it all worth the slog. When everything eventually kicks off, it's actually pretty entertaining. The gore is all practically done, looks half decent, and the execution is pretty fresh. It's just a shame that the set up is such a drag - If there was more of this then Aquaslash would be miles better.

Honestly, it might be worth just fast forwarding to the good bit with this one, but if you do insist on watching the whole thing, it's not the absolute worst thing ever, and it mercifully clocks in at 75 minutes, which makes the whole ordeal that little more bearable.
  
Leprechaun: Back 2 tha Hood (2003)
Leprechaun: Back 2 tha Hood (2003)
2003 | Action, Horror
And so we come to the end of the emotional journey that is Warwick Davis' Leprechaun, and I need pinching because it's actually not half bad. The first Leprechaun Hood movie had some good aspects, but was bogged down by cheap ass production standards. This "sequel" manages to retain what was good about the previous film, looks more professional, and is just an all round better experience.

Lep himself is different - he doesn't do his rhyming schtick from every other entry, and has a darker coloured new costume. It was a bit jarring at first but it grows on you. He comes across colder than before, and the movie as a whole feels much more like a slasher than ever. It also boasts some pretty decent kills, and some solid dark humour!
The lead human cast are once again pretty interesting, as far as slashers go, and much like In the Hood, makes this film engaging to a degree.
It still has trashy dialogue, and some dodgy effects sure, but it's miles ahead than say Leprechaun in Space in terms of quality. It's even starts with a genuinely great animated sequence.

It's also worth noting how low key hilarious it is when Lep is getting roughed up. Honestly, he just gets the shit kicked out of him in this one, over and over again, and keeps getting back up, over and over again. The dude is relentless, and is another reason why this Lep is arguably the best portrayal in the whole series. He actually feels quite threatening, and the climax involves a mother fucking magic fight with a witch. Way to step it up Back 2 tha Hood!

It's obviously not the Citizen Kane of horror, but you could do a lot worse, and this might honestly be my favourite entry in the whole franchise, which I certainly didn't expect going in!
  
Never Hike Alone (2017)
Never Hike Alone (2017)
2017 | Horror
Never Hike Alone is a hell of an accomplishment - a fan made film based on Friday the 13th that is as good, maybe even better, than the best entries in the main franchise.

It's premise is simple - a survival/hiking enthusiast is collecting footage for his YouTube channel when he accidentally stumbles across the remains of Camp Crystal Lake, resulting in a one on one fight for his life when he discovers that Jason Voorhees still resides there - and it's short runtime (clocking in at just under an hour) make for a no-filler, sharp-shock slice of slasher goodness.
It carries a lot of tension, the first half being relatively calm as protagonist Kyle (Drew Leighty) explores the remnant of the camp. Fans of the original film will surely get a kick out of recognisable landmarks, including the bed that Kevin Bacon was skewered through. It's a nice way of showing that this short is a true love letter to the franchise. Kyle is a likable and believable lead who's survival skill set makes him a good match for the big bad.
When Jason eventually shows up, he's damn scary! This version of Jason is just relentless. He's quick, heavy footed, and smashes through doors like they're not even there. Director Vincent DiSanti fills the shoes of Jason, and his tall and broad figure make for a genuinely intimidating version of this beloved horror icon.
He looks fantastic as well, it's clear that a lot of effort was put into his make up and costume.
Top all of this off with a cameo from Thom Mathews himself, and what you get is a recipe for a successful short film, made for fans, by fans.

Never Hike Alone is a real treat for anyone who even has a passing interest in Friday the 13th. Hats off to Womp Stomp Films for their great work.
  
Friday the 13th Part III (1982)
Friday the 13th Part III (1982)
1982 | Horror
Disclaimer: I still like this film, in the same way I like the whole franchise for better or worse, but man, Part III is a struggle to get through at times.

The main issue is the pacing and dialogue. I always found Part 2 Jason to be pretty intimidating, almost like a feral animal, but this time around, he's sneaking about Higgin's Haven, causing all kinds of hijinks and skulking in the distance. Leave that shit to Michael Myers and give me the Jason that's an unstoppable bull in a china shop!
This approach to Jason means that there is a ludicrous number of fake out scares in the first half of the film. It becomes trying pretty quickly.
The script is absolutely piss poor, no two ways about it - although I do appreciate the more frequent attempts at humour than what came before. Some of the characters are memorable in their own way - Shelley and Fox to name a couple, but none of the characters are developed much - watching the special features, it was made clear that the use of 3D and the increased technical issues that came with it took up most of the attention whilst filming - a classic case of actors doing the best with what they were given, which wasn't much in this instance!

Although all of this ensures that the end product doesn't begin to touch the first two in terms of quality, there are still some positives of course. This was the entry that gave Jason his iconic hockey mask for starters, and the make up work done on actor Richard Brooker is impressive even today. The practical work put into the films many death scenes is easy to appreciate, and the overall look of the film is pure 80s slasher, which is never a bad thing.

It's not the best film in the series, and certainly not the worst, and if you like slashers as much as I do, then there's definitely something for you here, even if the end result feels a bit aimless.
  
Halloween Kills (2021)
Halloween Kills (2021)
2021 | Horror
I can safely say, that I'm not 100% sure whether I liked Halloween Kills or not. There were parts that I genuinely enjoyed, in no small part thanks to Michael Myers. As in Halloween (2018), this Myers is a brutal and unforgiving one. His aesthetic is great and he's intimidating as fuck. This movie pulls no punches in making him out to be a monster, shying further away from the days of rooting for slasher villains. To top it off, Kills easily has some of the best Michael moments in the entire franchise. This is bolstered by some truly fantastic cinematography.
However, the positives are marred quite severely by everything else. The script is hammy as fuck, which is fine, but the tone of the movie is pretty damn serious, and a lot of the screenplay just doesn't land properly. There are endless characters saying something along the lines of "it's my fault, and I'm going to be the one to kill Michael Myers" for no real reason. Additionally, there are a whole bunch of "legacy" characters from the OG Halloween making their return. It's lovely to see the likes of Kyle Richards, Charles Cyphers, and Nancy Stephens back for another round, but they do kind of feel shoehorned in. Tommy Doyle being thrust into the spotlight as a main character is in no means a bad idea, but he's just a bit of a gammon for the entire runtime, and quickly becomes a tiresome protagonist. All of this is exacerbated by pacing that just plummets around the mid point. The whole subplot of a mob chasing down a small bald man who clearly isn't Michael Myers is just ludicrous, and it's goes on FOREVER. All just to throw in a forced "maybe we were the monsters all along" conundrum. It's really dumb.

I didn't hate Halloween Kills by any means, but for me, it was a huge step down from the fantastic 2018 effort. Hopefully, Halloween Ends will bring the quality back up (with more Laurie Strode fingers crossed)
  
X (2022) (2022)
X (2022) (2022)
2022 | Horror
8
7.6 (5 Ratings)
Movie Rating
Ti West has been gruesomely carving his name into the horror genre for a little while now, but with X, it feels like everything is really falling into place. It's a snappy, funny, unnerving, visceral, and chaotic ride that is easy to get lost in.
Despite it's fast moving narrative, it still finds time to slowly build its tension. Even before shit goes south, and everyone's having a bloody lovely time snorting cocaine and filming porn, something just feels off, to an almost unbearable degree.
Creepy, elderly antagonists have been done before, but the villains of the piece here have a well realised soft edge to them in the form of their relationship. There's some touching moments between them (as well as some gross ones), and it very much drives home the point that getting old sucks, and there's definitely a sliver of sympathy in there somewhere in between all the stabbing and nastiness.
The main group of protagonists are all a joy to watch on screen and are all pretty likable. Mia Goth is superb in her dual role, and it's great to see Jenna Ortega furthering a promising career in horror. The whole cast are decent and sell the unfolding madness with aplomb.
It's beautifully shot as well, from the opening scene, to the moment the credits roll, every frame feels like it's been slaved over with a great degree of passion. There's homages everywhere you look, the most obvious of course, being The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, from its setting and general vibe, to the very arthouse style that the film is presented in. It's really quite a treat to look at.
The more slasher side of things eventually takes over, and proceedings do become relatively predictable, but by that point, the film has descended into a crazy, gory, good time, and it's hard to care about any slight misgivings.

In short, X is a fucking blast and is well worth making a cinema trip for any fans of the genre. Don't sleep on it!
  
Strangers: Prey at Night (2018)
Strangers: Prey at Night (2018)
2018 | Horror
Real-feeling Characters (2 more)
Escalating Tension
Some Excellent Scenes
Some Naff Shots (1 more)
Hammy Acting
Contains spoilers, click to show
I’ve heard a lot of trash about this movie, and only some of it is right. Don’t get me wrong - it has its downfalls. We’ll get to those. But it’s a genuinely fun horror movie and, considering the predictability of the slasher genre, it’s fairly terrifying: the suspense doesn’t let up from damn near the beginning. For full disclosure, I haven’t seen the original Strangers movie, and I’ve heard it’s a whole lot better than this 2018 sequel. But the fact that Prey at Night stands successfully alone as a movie means it doesn’t matter which order you watch them in - all I’d say is that it’s probably best not to pay much attention to the reviews on this one (as sefl-destructive as a comment like that might be). It’s impressive in its own right, and if this apparently-subpar sequel is anything to go by, the original must be worthwhile. I’ll let you know once I’ve actually seen it.

Now, onto the juicy stuff. There really isn’t a whole lot of bad to this movie, and what there is is fairly standard for modern horror movies. The plot is fairly predictable: people with knives hunt down people without (the good guys do have a single gun between them, and in a display that makes you genuinely shout at your television it never gets used); a dysfunctional American family gets torn completely apart; every single time you think the evil nasty villain man is dead, he stands up, just a little out of our good guy’s eyeline. It’s fairly repetitive - how much story can you get out of some knives and masks and a little bit of running? - and while it nicely strays from the standard twisty ending, there’s a hint of danger at the end that a) doesn’t make sense, b) doesn’t mean anything, and c) isn’t explored or explained so falls very short of what it’s trying to do. And that’s nearly all the bad out of the way, but I’d like to give an honourable mention to some very corny Raimi-esque camera zooms that, momentarily, take the viewer completely out of the film and just look terrible.

Having said that, most of the camerawork is good - shaky where it needs to be, dead straight when it works. There are some claustrophobic close-ups that leave you wondering just what the director’s hiding out of frame. And while watching a creepily-masked figure loom silently into frame can get a little less scary every time, it’s certainly well-shot. Despite the pitfalls, most of which are just so easy to slip into, the good parts to this movie mostly fall into the categories of character work and nice, understated gore. The bloody parts are suitably bloody, but they don’t become unrealistic. In fact, there are gory moments that seem meticulously well-crafted and you can almost feel the pain. The characters are annoying at times, they all have their own quirks and tightly-wound baggage, and there are places where their obviously set-up arcs just don’t get the resolution they need - hang on, why do I think this is a good film?

Here’s why. Because it’s real. People don’t always get resolution (okay, it isn’t always because one of the conflicting characters dies about five minutes into the experience, but we don’t always get closure, we don’t always get to fix relationships before it’s too late). The characters in this film are, despite everything, quite likeable once you get to know them, and there’s a truly heartbreaking moment fairly early on that can’t be shunned. The injuries these characters sustain throughout don’t just go away - they stick around, for the most part, slow them down, make them vulnerable. The setting is unassuming until you realise this family are literally the only characters in the film that aren’t dead (and quite beautifully mutilated) or wielding a knife/axe/pickup truck - and if you dare make the connection between a spooky trailer park and a certain Camp Crystal Lake, it makes sense. The slashers themselves are fairly unoriginal (I’m really trying not to stray into the negatives again) but they’re human. They can die. Their motives are revealed in a simple, nicely-put “Why not?” and it’s clear they don’t need a reason, this is just fun for them. The masks, obviously, add a little layer of creep, and there’s a swimming pool scene that really is quite beautifully done. Watching people get murdered to a corny, cheerful eighties soundtrack might get irritating, if it wasn’t established that that’s just a chilling preference of the primary slasher character. The popping-up-out-of-nowhere gimmick might get a little annoying if it wasn’t established that really, this is just that kind of movie. The fact that we never find out what Kenzie did to get her shipped off to boarding school, or who Tamara was (should I have seen the first movie? I’ll have to watch it soon or I just might be lambasted for my ignorance) didn't put us too out-of-place, because there are enough wonderful gore and inventive set-piece-driven slasher moments to remind you that, hang on, you don't really need to know. The tension builds, and it builds, and oh it keeps on building right until the end, and it’s the one thing about this film that's masterfully done.

At the end of the day, this isn’t a great movie. It’s certainly not perfect. But it’s good. It feels real, and it feels, in places, genuinely terrifying. It’s a fun watch and it hasn’t been ridiculously drawn-out like some recent films (I’m looking at you, Chapter Two) so it’s quick, it’s choppy, and there’s a half-decent scare every now and then. Will it scar you for life? Depends how you feel about Kim Wilde.