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FIRESTARTER (2022)
FIRESTARTER (2022)
2022 | Action, Horror
3
4.4 (5 Ratings)
Movie Rating
Commits the Biggest Film Crime - It's Boring
Sometimes, I watch a movie, so you don’t have to.

I watched the remake of the Stephen King novel FIRESTARTER, so you don’t have to.

The current “leader in the clubhouse” for the worst film of 2022, FIRESTARTER is based on the very good Stephen King novel that was published in 1980 and was made into a pretty cheesy, pretty ‘80s flick in 1984 that made Drew Barrymore (fresh off her work in ET) a bonafide movie star.

No such luck in this one.

Produced by Blum House, Directed by Keith Thomas (THE VIGIL) and adapted from King’s novel by Scott Teems (HALLOWEEN KILLS), this version of FIRESTARTER was dead on arrival, with a weak script, mediocre directing and less than stellar visual effects, consequently making a film that is the worst sort of film…boring. It doesn’t even have the ambition to be “so bad, it’s good”, it is just plodding and mediocre throughout.

But, at 1 hour 34 minutes, it is mercifully short, so it does have that going for it.

What it also has going for it is a “game” Zach Efron as “Firestarter’s Father” and he elevates the scenes he is in to something that comes close to watchable. And when Sydney Lemmon is along as “Firestarter’s Mom” the screen comes the closest to interesting. But the rest…”meh”.

Ryan Kiera Armstrong plays “Firestarter”, Charlie McGee - the young lady who can start fires with her telepathic powers - and she is “just fine”, but she does not have the star power or “it” factor that Barrymore brought to the proceedings previously. She is just not a compelling enough presence on screen to save this turkey. I don’t blame her, I blame the weak Direction by Thomas and the limp script by Teems.

The only other character/performance that sparks some interest in this film is Michael Grayeyes (TOGO) who plays a Native American tracker with his own telekinetic powers who is put on the trail of Charlie by the mysterious Institute (a shadowy Gov’t agency that chases after various “special” people - mostly kids - in quite a few Stephen King novels). Inexplicably, this role was played by an aging, pony-tailed George C. Scott (obviously chasing a paycheck) in the 1984 film. Grayeyes succeeds more.

But these glimmers of competence only aggravates more when the film bogs back down in cardboard villains (what has happened to your career, Gloria Ruben) and exposition spouting scientists (what a waste of Kurtwood Smith) and less than spectacular action sequences that, mostly, consist of Armstrong screaming while a wind machine blows her hair back while sub-par CGI flames engulf the screen.

And…adding insult to injury…the "guy in the asbestos suit” (a mainstay of any film involving fire) does not even get a day of stunt pay! It’s like going to see a Tom Cruise Mission Impossible film and Cruise doesn’t do some sort of crazy stunt!

After the success of IT, PART ONE in 2017, there was a renaissance, of sorts, of adaptations of Stephen King works and even though PET SEMATARY (2019) was pretty decent and IT, CHAPTER TWO and DOCTOR SLEEP (2019) were okay, THE DARK TOWER, the TV remake of THE STAND, LISEY’S STORY and now FIRESTARTER were all terrible, so maybe we’ve seen the end of this phase of King adaptations (I doubt it, but one can hope).

Save yourself and hour and a half of your life and skip this Firestarter. Instead, revisit the 1984 version - it plays like an Oscar-winner compared to this turkey. Or, better yet, read the original Stephen King work - it is the best of all of these.

Letter Grade: C- (and I’m being generous)

3 stars (out of 10) and you can take that to the Bank(ofMarquis).
  
Supernatural  - Season 1
Supernatural - Season 1
2005 | Drama
Great Character development (2 more)
Brilliant take on the myths/legends lore
Somewhat educational
Sometimes you'd think Sam and Dean would know better (0 more)
Saving People, Hunting Things, The Family Business...
Supernatural Season One first aired in 2005, and I was only 10 years old when I first watched it with my Dad. I didn't sleep for right for ages and didn't look in a mirror for a long time. However, now when I watch it, this show still has the horror factor but my brain has grown accustomed to the genre so it doesn't necessarily frighten me these days but it is very creepy.

The first thing I loved about this show was that the lore's it followed were real from the legend of Bloody Mary, to the Woman in White and even a Wendigo. I knew about these legends but this show taught me more about what people believed about them and how they came to be, so this show is somewhat educational as well as being a great action horror drama show.

SPOILERS AHEAD!



So in Season One we are introduced to a family who witness the death of their mother/wife as she bursts into a fiery explosion on the ceiling of baby Sam's nursery room. Fast forward years later and Sam's in college/university and has left his past behind him until his brother Dean shows up to tell him their Dad has gone missing after a 'Hunting' trip.

This is where we learn that Sam, Dean and their Father, were actual in the life of Hunters who hunt down demons, ghosts/spirits, and monsters.

This show takes you one a journey with Sam and Dean saving lives from all sorts of strange and horrifying evil beings, who don't always turn out to be an evil being, just tortured or maybe even a being trying to warn them of a greater evil.

The effects are on par with a lot of big budget movies, even better than some of the most recent box office hits and in 2005, that says a lot about how the show can only get better with age. And it has!

Writer Eric Kripke truly did create something spectacular and to say that it's still running to this day, with a whole 12 seasons finished and a 13th season coming soon, it's hard to believe that it can still stay fresh and entertaining with this genre, but when you watch this show I guarantee you'll be entertained as there are dozens of pop culture references in every episode from X- Files to Lord of the Rings and many more, and with soundtracks that include rock and metal bands such as AC/DC it's hard to wrap your head around just how awesome this show is.

Many episodes are either named after movies ("Children Shouldn't Play with Dead Things", "The Usual Suspects", "I Know What You Did Last Summer") or classic rock songs ("In My Time of Dying", "Born Under a Bad Sign", "What is and What Should Never Be", "Sympathy For The Devil", "When The Levee Breaks"). - Copied from IMDB

The on screen chemistry between characters is brilliant and more often than not, even in serious situations, it can become hilarious with cheesy one liners or pop culture references used with perfect timing to lighten the mood of the show.

Sam and Dean (portrayed by Jared Padalecki and Jensen Ackles) have some of the best character development that I've seen in a show, and sometimes throughout the different series' the formula of arguing, falling out, and coming back to one another, can become somewhat tedious and repetitive making you scream at the TV saying "WHY!? YOU KNOW YOU'RE JUST GOING TO REALIZE YOU NEED EACH OTHER!" but if you think about it, that's how brothers would be in this situation. Having to spend every day with your brother on the road fighting the unthinkable, it would be stressful and tensions would run high, but you'd soon realize that after everything you've been through, who else could you feel comfortable around?

If you're into the paranormal or want to start learning more about different paranormal legends then this is the show for you.

TIP: For further entertainment, watch the bloopers. Some of the most hilarious clips I have ever seen from a show ;)
  
SM
Sing Me to Sleep
6
6.0 (1 Ratings)
Book Rating
My Summary: Beth is a ridiculously tall, horribly ugly girl suffering though high school. Her nickname is “the Beast.” She is bullied by everyone. Her face is scared and pimply and messed up, she was born that way and nothing works to get rid of it. The only people in the world that she has are her mother—who loves her fiercely—and her best friend since pre-school, Scott.

But then through the course of several unexpected events, Beth ends up with the solo in her choir. She goes from ugly and in the back rows to re-made, re-styled, and re-“faced” after laser surgery. Her choir gets a chance to go to a competition in Switzerland.

And she meets Derek. Derek is on one of the other teams, the biggest, best, most famous choir. He’s the hottest guy she’s ever met. And he’s in love with her.

But there’s something wrong with Derek. He won’t tell her what it is, and she’s scared to ask because every time she brings it up, he runs away.

And the fact that Scott has admitted that he’s in love with her—and she’s pretty sure she loves him too—isn’t making anything less complicated…

Review:
I enjoyed Sing Me To Sleep. Please realize and remember that. It kept me reading, it moved quickly. But there were a few things that drove me crazy while I read this and took away from the overall enjoyment.

The first was the writing. There’s a difference between a writing style, and writing crappy. 75% of the “sentences” in this book were fragments. No, I did not count the sentences and take a literal percentage, but that’s what it felt like. There were a lot of two or three word phrases stacked next to each other. That does not count as a writing style, it’s poor grammar. It was so distracting that I found myself annoyed and wanting to put it down.

The second was the romance. In the beginning, the romance between Derek and Beth was just too rushed. There were no meaningful conversations, there wasn’t much plot, there wasn’t much talking. There was a lot of “I love you’s” and a lot of tension and a lot of kissing (hot kissing, but just kissing none the less). Beth was convinced she was in love with him—and he with her—but their relationship was so shallow, that I expected him to dump her any minute (or vice versa). It didn’t feel real.

Near the end, it became a little more real after Derek’s secret came out and Beth began to feel a little different about him. For the sake of keeping this review spoiler-free, I won’t say much more than that. However because their “love” was built on such shaky ground in the first place, most of the end didn’t feel very real either. Beth didn’t know what love really meant until the very end of the book. Poor girl.

The third… sadly, the characters. I didn’t feel much of a connection to them. Believe it or not, the one character I related to most was Scott. He wasn’t even in most of the book—most of it was Beth and Derek—but Scott was the most realistic character (and I’m totally in love with him) and the character that I could understand the best. But Beth and Derek both… I just didn’t connect.

I feel really bad that I’ve complained so much. I also feel really sad that I didn’t love this one. But as a reviewer I promise to be honest, and this is how I feel. Again, as I said at the top, I enjoyed the book, it kept me reading though it wasn’t a sit-on-the-edge-of-your-seat kind of page-turner. But it was a bit of a let-down after all the 5-star or A+ reviews I’ve read for it. Don’t listen to just one opinion. Check out some other reviews for this one before you decide to believe me.
  
The Last Song
The Last Song
Nicholas Sparks | 2009 | Fiction & Poetry
10
7.8 (12 Ratings)
Book Rating
My Summary: Ronnie does not want to spend the summer with her dad. Her dad left them three years ago, and she hasn’t really forgiven him for it. She hated him for it so much, that she refused to take his calls, quit playing the piano, and never read the letters he sent her. What is she going to do all summer stuck with a dad she hates in a small town with nothing but sand on every side of her, no clubs, no friends…

When she finds Will, the cutest volley-ball players slash aquarium volunteer in her back yard helping her protect un-hatched sea turtles from being eaten by raccoons, she judged him as not-her-type. She doesn’t expect to find a friend in a jock-rich-perfect-family boy, nor does she expect that this will be the best—most exciting, most scary, most fun, most painful—summer of her lifetime.

My Review: I’m not really sure where to start here, other than I am so utterly pleased with The Last Song, I cannot begin to find words to describe it.

Ronnie, Jonah (her brother), Her dad Steve, Will… all the characters really, were such real characters. I felt everything they felt, I laughed when they laughed, and I (nearly) cried when they cried.

I hate it when books suffer from "happy-land syndrome—" where everything works out just too perfectly that it seems silly. The Last Song seemed to work perfectly, but it didn’t have that plot-manipulated feel to it. It didn’t feel like Sparks was just trying to move the story along and causing things to line up too perfectly to be realistic—it felt like the story was writing itself, and it was perfect. The pacing didn’t feel rushed or slow. It was not a thriller, but I did find myself sitting on the edge of my seat dying to find out what happens. I read it through in two or three days (which is fast for me right now, what with school the way it is!). There are twists, there are surprises—some beautiful, some painful, but all wonderful.

The writing was contemporary. It was easy reading and it wasn’t Dostoevsky, but it wasn’t bad either. The humor was light and witty and sarcastic, sometimes laugh out loud, and more times than I can count my sister would look up from her homework and say “Haley. What is so funny?” The perspective alternated between several different characters, but it wasn’t disorientating. It was all from third person perspective, but I still felt like I could get inside the character’s head.

The end was perfect. That’s all I can really say about it because any information would totally ruin the story. All the loose ends were tied, all the questions were answered, and the ending was open to the future but closed in a wonderful conclusion. Suffice to say I grinned so wide I couldn’t see, and my cheeks are still sore.
 
Audio Review: Let’s just say that I almost gave up reading The Last Song when I started listening to the audio. Pepper Binkley read Ronnie’s perspective and had a high pitched voice, she read a little too fast (which is rare. Most of the time readers are way too slow), there was no differentiating between voices of characters so you couldn’t tell who was talking, and she seemed up tight and nervous. Scott Sowers read the various men’s perspectives, and he read alright. He was a little slow and his voice took some getting used to but he was otherwise ok. I did get too frustrated to get far in the audio book though. I ended up quitting and reading the paperback. I recommend reading The Last Song over listening to it.

Content: blissfully clean. There was romance between Will and Ronnie, but no sex. It wasn’t needed, either. I feel like the fact that they didn’t sleep together added to the book rather than took away from it. It was also clean of foul language. There was some mention of God and the Bible, but never did it feel like Sparks was preaching.

Recommendation: Ages 14+
  
Shin Godzilla (2016)
Shin Godzilla (2016)
2016 | Sci-Fi
9
8.2 (5 Ratings)
Movie Rating
The King of the Monsters is Back
Contains spoilers, click to show
I must say that when I heard that TOHO was coming out with a new Godzilla movie I was super ecstatic. I have enjoyed the Godzilla franchise since I was a kid. The movie starts with a modern Tokyo with the pretense that it is shortly after the Fukushima Nuclear meltdown and after several earthquakes. An explosion in the harbor alerts the officials to scramble to find out what has happened. At first there is a lot of chaos and uncertainties as to what is happening out in the harbor. Then a grotesque creature is seen swimming up the on of the rivers inland. The look of this monster is that of a Snake Shark and an Eel with hind legs. This underdeveloped monster is referred to as Godzilla's "1st Form". As it snakes its way through metropolitan area's, forced evacuations are sent underway to assure as many lives that can be saved could. As the fledgling Godzilla struggles with trying to maneuver on land, you see red almost blood looking liquid pouring from its gills. It shortly there after makes its way back to the bay and resubmerged. The Japanese Government is in a panic trying to figure out what this thing is, and how to best deal with it. Teams of researchers from around the country begin an unprecedented collaboration of the minds to classify and to come up with a solution on how to defend Tokyo and the rest of Japan from this creature. Next time we see the creature coming out of the water it begins to resemble the Godzilla we all know and love. But with sudo deformed forearms, and red coloring to its skin, and a misshapen mouth. This form is referred to as his 3rd form. This 3rd form Godzilla begins making its way through the cities headed for Tokyo. The government authorizes the use of any and all weapons in order to stop the best in its tracks. After some failures trying what they could. The Japanese reach out to America for help. The US deploys B2 Stealth Bombers with subnuclear missile's which cause significant damage, causing Godzilla to undergo another transformation, this time expelling fiery breath that is then focused into a plasma beam that destroys a large section of the city. Then the bombers go to make a second attack and in a wholly new never before seen attack in any of the Godzilla franchise, Godzilla shoots its plasma beams out of his back, in multiple directions destroying the attacking fleet. To which Godzilla enters a hibernation type sleep in the middle of all the destruction and chaos. Both Japanese and American governments as well as several other countries around the world begin sharing data and ideas with one another and a plan is formulated to 'freeze' Godzilla thus killing the creature. The entire country of Japan commissions local chemical plants to create a coagulant and freezing agent to stop Godzilla. A 4 Tier Attack plan is put into place. They begin by sending trains filled with explosives to awaken the monster. Then one after another the Japanese Military begins assaulting Godzilla. At which point Godzilla begins to use his Plasma beam from both his mouth and in another totally new move, from his tail. Godzilla is finally knocked down and the coagulant is then pumped into him, in two stages. At the last stage, Godzilla destroys the Cranes that were pumping the fluid into him, and as he stands to begin more destruction, you see him instantly freeze. At the end of the movie, you see a destroyed Tokyo trying to recover and find some form of normality. And before credit roll, you see up close of Godzilla's tail. It looks like miniature aliens or babies were being birthed from Godzilla's tail. And then it fades to black. Even though the whole movie was Englished Subtitled, I found it very enjoyable and action packed. TOHO has done it again.
  
40x40

Craig Davidson (18 KP) rated Aliens (1986) in Movies

May 11, 2019 (Updated May 11, 2019)  
Aliens (1986)
Aliens (1986)
1986 | Action, Horror, Sci-Fi
Hudson (3 more)
Pulse rifle
Alien queen
Marines
First 20 mins (0 more)
Stop ya grinning and drop ya linen
Contains spoilers, click to show
So what can I say about aliens. Since its release in 1986 it's become probably one of my favourite and go to films. James Cameron at his best.
The whole cast are amazing and although the movie is a little yawn until the marines come in to it I just adore it.
The movie picks up where alien finished finding Riley in the escape craft form the nostromo 57 years later. She is picked up by a salvage craft and taken back to be grilled by the Weyland-Yutani Corporation (nooooo) as to why she destroyed the nostromo.
As usual the big wigs do not believe the story and inform Ripley that the planet LV-426 is now inhabited by terraformers who are changing the planet to be more earth kike. Soooo after the grilling Ripley gets Carter Burke (slimey weasel corporate man ) sends people from Hadleys Hope station to investigate the coordinates where the alien ship was first encountered. And of course Newts dad ends up with a beauty of a face hugger on his mush. This starts the chain of events that basically wipes out the whole station.
So after a while Burke and Lt Gorman. track down Ripely to ask her to join them as an advisor and go back to LV-426. She of course says no until she has a dream and leaves her ginger pussy at home.
So now the film really begins and the USS Sulaco comes in to shit looking like a giant gun.
We then meet the colonial marines including Android bishop and my favourite film character of all time hudson.
They all arrive and on the planet and eventually come across the little girl Newt (Rebecca but no body calls her that ,except her brother ) who has survived the alien invasion by crawling around the air ducts.
The marines eventually find the rest of the colony via there trackers and head to collect them. Of course they find the colony people stuck to the walls by some sort of secreted resin ( but secreted by why what ?) With there chest cavities well open exposing there inner organs. They then find a live one ( in a shit ya pants moment) and we get to see the alien push through the poor woman's chest.
The marines torch the little git and then all hell breaks loose. But we get to hear the iconic sound of the pulse rifle and get to hear Vasquez shout "let's rock" as they try to sort out the pesky bug problem by spraying the whole place with bullets.
We loose slot of the secondary cast in this scene and they also crack one of the nuclear reactors which will blow up soon.
The marines fight hard but they end up loosing the drop ship and are stranded. So the plan is hatched to remote a new drip ship down from the sulaco.
The android bishop has to crawl down a very long pipe in a very claustrophobic scene to get a signal to use the remote control.
The rest of the people left alive Ripley ,Hicks ,Gorman ,Hudson ,Vasquez ,Newt and the horrible Burke at left in the station to set up and defend themselves and fortify the area.
But the alien have there clever mama and they attack in force.
It's is in this attack we see how brave the loudmouth marine Hudson is in what is my opinion one of the greatest last scenes ever of a character "fuck you " being his last words.
After this the rest are lost apart from Hicks and Ripley and newt and bishop .
Newt takes a slide down a vent and gets lost , Ripley then goes and gets her and comes across the bad ass bitch that's has been laying the alien eggs . A fight happens and Ripley gets newt out and back to the drop ship and back to USS Sulaco with hicks and bishop. But ohhhhh no the mama alien was on board and rips bishop in half and covers the place in milk. Ripley beats the crap out of the mama alien with a really cool fork lift then they all go to sleep.
Aliens for me is a classic and better than the original.
  
Helsinki Headnod Convention is a Jazz/Spoken Word band. Not too long ago, they released their debut EP, entitled, “Eargasms for Short-Sighted Post-Truth Era People”.

WHO’S MAKING YOU?
Mellow and subtle. This jazzy tune poses a series of interesting questions.

At the end of the day, it’s you and only you. You keep trying to place the blame on somebody else but it’s you. Also, you and only you are can make you or break you.


OUR TIME IS NOW

This 30 seconds clip tells listeners that their time is now. Also, it’s short, representing that time is short on earth and it shouldn’t be taken for granted.

SORROW AND PAIN

A mixture of Negro Spiritual mixed with Blues and elements of ‘60s Soul.

The black and white video shows an African-American woman walking in the evening. Also, a vehicle with its headlights on approaches and a Caucasian cop parks it.

The following scene shows the woman running away while the cop, dressed as a terrorist, is chasing her with a lit smoke screen in his hand.

The courageous woman falls to the ground, grabs a handful of snow, and throws it in her attacker’s face. Momentarily, it blinds him and she gets up and runs away.

But she can’t see where she’s going because of the smoke. Then, she’s confronted by another Caucasian man, dressed in riot gear. Also, he’s walking towards her while her other attacker is gaining ground behind her.

In the end, while snow is falling and visibility is blurry, the rioter beats the woman with the stick in his hand.

The suggestive video implies that those who are supposed to protect and serve urban communities contain an uncertain amount of national terrorists within their organizations.

Also, some things from the past have changed, but on the other hand, some things have remained the same.

SOLIDARITY

Mellow and smooth. One minute and 13 seconds of conscious therapy, which begins with a calming voice, “We glorify war when we should glorify peace.”

The title is a unity campaign that binds people together as one. Also, its aim is social change within a racist power structure.

DOWN ON BENDED KNEE

The poem is based on Colin Kaepernick’s epic gesture of bending his knee during the National Anthem to protest social injustices happening in urban communities. Also, it speaks on reasons humanity, equality, civility, decency, justice, and other rights.

ANOTHER DAY IN PARADISE

An instrument plays in solitude against a vacant backdrop, where paradise is imagined as an ordinary day in hell, where being cautious is the best way to proceed.

Also, a story is told about a woman who is begging on the street, but the man she is seeking help from doesn’t even acknowledge her.

She calls out to a man on the street, “Sir, can you help me. It’s cold and I have nowhere to sleep. Is there somewhere you can tell me?”

He walks on doesn’t look back. He pretends he can’t hear her. Starts to whistle as he crosses the street. Seems embarrassed to be there.

This story paints a perfect picture of people frowning down on the have-nots, who oftentimes get overlooked while seeking monetary help or begging for information in public.

THE BIGGER PICTURE

With so many points of views to look from, what’s really the bigger picture?

The artist raps, “Watch me step it up. Cape blowing in the wind standing tough. Can’t give up.”

The song implies what’s necessary to see the bigger picture. One must have the courage to not get blown away by the world-wind and its influences.

Also, it implies taking a step up, by elevating your mind, body, and soul. Only then, will you be able to see the bigger picture, which is quite an exquisite view?

HUMAN KINDNESS

Beings with a jazzy fiesta of affectionate sounds perfumed with love. It depicts the hustle and bustle of an inner-city boulevard. It’s fast-paced and warm like the blood flowing in our veins.

CONCLUSION

“Eargasms for Short-Sighted Post-Truth Era People” is an undiluted audible ear drop solution, perfumed with nostalgia. It’s revolutionary but its non-violence approach in combating social inequality is highly effective.

https://www.bongminesentertainment.com/helsinki-headnod-eargasms/
  
King Arthur: Legend Of The Sword (2017)
King Arthur: Legend Of The Sword (2017)
2017 | Action, Drama
Schrodinger's Film
There is a thought experiment that is used to help make sense of the Copenhagen Interpretation of Quantum Mechanics. Say you have a cat, a box and a fragile vial of poison. You put the cat and the poison in the box knowing that the vial may break, you lunatic.

At this point, so goes the thought experiment, until we can perceive whether or not the cat is dead, the cat is dead AND alive simultaneously, and it is only when you look into the box that you know whether you have a friend for life or a Korean meal.

I bring this up because I often insist that I prefer a bad movie with great moments than a movie that’s adequate across the board, but Guy Ritchie’s most recent film certainly puts that to the test. It’s almost my favourite film of the year but is full of nigh-unforgiveable blunders that I don’t think I can watch it again. But I don’t regret seeing it. King Arthur is both good and not good and the cat is still in the box.

Well, I might as well start with what’s good about the film. For one, the character of Arthur himself has a pretty interesting arc. Normally interpretations of the Arthur myth focus on the King bit, so despite it being yet another origin story, it at least is for a character who rarely gets one, and it’s an interesting spin on the reluctant hero arc.

In addition, the world itself feels like it desperately needs a hero. You get the sense that this world is falling apart, which is much better than some other chosen one narratives like Harry Potter, where even when Voldemort took over the wizarding world he didn’t seem to do anything. Also, this is a fantasy film that isn’t just Lord of the Rings again, but a more Celtic mystic mythology that is ripe for exploration.

Then there’s Jude Law, who is so moustache-twirlingly evil that he’s hilarious. He’s clearly having the time of his life playing this cartoon super villain and making him campy enough to be fun while still threatening and compelling when he needs to be.

Shame about the rest of the cast, who all have the same personality, that of “Ah’m just one o’ tha lads, apples and pears, apples and pears.” It’s like a Chelsea game but set in the Dark Ages. So it’s identical to a Chelsea game. The only exception is Astrid Frizbee’s mage, whose intense magic power is so devastating that she manages to put a sleep spell on the audience every time she opens her noise-hole and lets out a monotone bored drone.

There’s also the action, and Hollywood, we need to talk. I thought that shaky cam was just a phase, but I’ve seen you doing it again, and you need to stop. I’ve played VR games where you do nothing but ride particularly unstable cows and came out the other end less motion sick than your sword fighting scenes. Come on, you’re better than this, and we just what’s best for you, so just buy a steady-cam already.

Maybe it’s Guy Ritchie himself, though. Nothing in the film seems to last longer than three minutes aside Arthur’s whining. Sometimes it works, like the very snappy but informative way we see Arthur grow from stupid baby to stupid adult, and sometimes it’s stupid, like when an entire other movie’s worth of content gets squashed into an uninspired montage.

But that’s the great dilemma; the montages are good and bad, like the movie itself. You will only enjoy the movie if you enjoy the movie but if you don’t then you won’t. I write this piece a defeated critic, ladies and gentlemen. Is it worth seeing? I don’t really know. A bigger fan of Guy Ritchie or quantum mechanics than I will probably get something out of it and there are worse movies out there, but it also can’t help but disappoint somehow. The cat isn’t dead, but it has a bit of a cold.

https://moviemetropolis.net/2017/05/25/schrodingers-film-king-arthur-legend-of-the-sword-review/
  
The Queen of the Tearling
The Queen of the Tearling
Erika Johansen | 2015 | Fiction & Poetry
9
7.8 (4 Ratings)
Book Rating
Here’s the book I’ve been looking for! I’ve been waiting and searching and looking for a book that would hold my interest long enough to get through it. While I listened to the book instead of reading it because of the little time I have because of school and work (six classes plus 20 hours a week, why do I do this to myself?) plus trying to train my new puppy, I just haven’t had enough time to sleep, let alone read a book. So listening to books on my 1 hour + commute to and from school and work six days a week was the only option.

I’m so glad I found this book because I could borrow it right away from the library. I had seen it, decided a few times not to buy the book because of the books I still haven’t read, so I just jumped at the chance.

So, let us start at the beginning. It was slow to start. I wasn’t connected to any of the characters, I didn’t have much of an interest other than just entertainment. There were a lot of people introduced at once and I had a hard time keeping them straight at first. Over time the characters got sorted out and each had their own personality.

This book was told from a few different perspectives, but for the most part it added important details to the story. It was interesting to see the thoughts of some people other than Kelsea, and it rounded out the story better than if it would have been just her perspective.

However, with the change in perspectives I found that I had a few issues with one character in particular. Javel is a complicated character, and not in the way most people like. His inner monologue has him come off as a strong character, one that doesn’t take crap. His actions and words tell a completely different story. Javel is a weak man. I was very unimpressed with his character and his story until the very, very end. He only had that one redeeming quality, but it paled against everything else about him.

Kelsea is a character I can defiantly stand behind, though there are two things that irked me. This is more about the writing of the book than it is about Kelsea herself, but that fact that she’s plain, not beautiful, was mentioned so often that I got very annoyed. She’s not as beautiful as her mother was, so what? She looked plain standing next to this woman. Yeah, so what’s your point? I get that she is plain but it doesn’t need to be mentioned multiple times in the first chapter and at least once in all the other chapters. The second was that she sees beauty as vanity. Just because a women is beautiful doesn’t mean she’s automatically a rival or that she’s worthless. It annoyed me that every woman was more beautiful than Kelsea could have imagined. Yeah, well get used to it. You’re the queen now, you’re going to be surrounded by beautiful people.

The one other issue I had was with the timing of everything. I can’t get a sense of how long it was from the begging of the book to the end, and it jumps forward weeks ahead with little explanation.

Despite those problems that I have with the book I really enjoyed it. Very rarely do I get to read about queens taking their keep by storm and upturning everything in her wake. Usually Princesses or other random girls are the main character, and this made me happy. It gave me an insight to what her life was like as queen without boring me.

The plot twist was rather predictable, I had it figured out from halfway through the book, but the way it was handled in the end was interesting.

This author isn’t afraid of killing her characters or going into details most would just briefly skim over. It was refreshing. I can’t wait to listen to or read the next book to see what happens from here!