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King Arthur: Legend Of The Sword (2017)
King Arthur: Legend Of The Sword (2017)
2017 | Action, Drama
Schrodinger's Film
There is a thought experiment that is used to help make sense of the Copenhagen Interpretation of Quantum Mechanics. Say you have a cat, a box and a fragile vial of poison. You put the cat and the poison in the box knowing that the vial may break, you lunatic.

At this point, so goes the thought experiment, until we can perceive whether or not the cat is dead, the cat is dead AND alive simultaneously, and it is only when you look into the box that you know whether you have a friend for life or a Korean meal.

I bring this up because I often insist that I prefer a bad movie with great moments than a movie that’s adequate across the board, but Guy Ritchie’s most recent film certainly puts that to the test. It’s almost my favourite film of the year but is full of nigh-unforgiveable blunders that I don’t think I can watch it again. But I don’t regret seeing it. King Arthur is both good and not good and the cat is still in the box.

Well, I might as well start with what’s good about the film. For one, the character of Arthur himself has a pretty interesting arc. Normally interpretations of the Arthur myth focus on the King bit, so despite it being yet another origin story, it at least is for a character who rarely gets one, and it’s an interesting spin on the reluctant hero arc.

In addition, the world itself feels like it desperately needs a hero. You get the sense that this world is falling apart, which is much better than some other chosen one narratives like Harry Potter, where even when Voldemort took over the wizarding world he didn’t seem to do anything. Also, this is a fantasy film that isn’t just Lord of the Rings again, but a more Celtic mystic mythology that is ripe for exploration.

Then there’s Jude Law, who is so moustache-twirlingly evil that he’s hilarious. He’s clearly having the time of his life playing this cartoon super villain and making him campy enough to be fun while still threatening and compelling when he needs to be.

Shame about the rest of the cast, who all have the same personality, that of “Ah’m just one o’ tha lads, apples and pears, apples and pears.” It’s like a Chelsea game but set in the Dark Ages. So it’s identical to a Chelsea game. The only exception is Astrid Frizbee’s mage, whose intense magic power is so devastating that she manages to put a sleep spell on the audience every time she opens her noise-hole and lets out a monotone bored drone.

There’s also the action, and Hollywood, we need to talk. I thought that shaky cam was just a phase, but I’ve seen you doing it again, and you need to stop. I’ve played VR games where you do nothing but ride particularly unstable cows and came out the other end less motion sick than your sword fighting scenes. Come on, you’re better than this, and we just what’s best for you, so just buy a steady-cam already.

Maybe it’s Guy Ritchie himself, though. Nothing in the film seems to last longer than three minutes aside Arthur’s whining. Sometimes it works, like the very snappy but informative way we see Arthur grow from stupid baby to stupid adult, and sometimes it’s stupid, like when an entire other movie’s worth of content gets squashed into an uninspired montage.

But that’s the great dilemma; the montages are good and bad, like the movie itself. You will only enjoy the movie if you enjoy the movie but if you don’t then you won’t. I write this piece a defeated critic, ladies and gentlemen. Is it worth seeing? I don’t really know. A bigger fan of Guy Ritchie or quantum mechanics than I will probably get something out of it and there are worse movies out there, but it also can’t help but disappoint somehow. The cat isn’t dead, but it has a bit of a cold.

https://moviemetropolis.net/2017/05/25/schrodingers-film-king-arthur-legend-of-the-sword-review/
  
The Queen of the Tearling
The Queen of the Tearling
Erika Johansen | 2015 | Fiction & Poetry
9
7.8 (4 Ratings)
Book Rating
Here’s the book I’ve been looking for! I’ve been waiting and searching and looking for a book that would hold my interest long enough to get through it. While I listened to the book instead of reading it because of the little time I have because of school and work (six classes plus 20 hours a week, why do I do this to myself?) plus trying to train my new puppy, I just haven’t had enough time to sleep, let alone read a book. So listening to books on my 1 hour + commute to and from school and work six days a week was the only option.

I’m so glad I found this book because I could borrow it right away from the library. I had seen it, decided a few times not to buy the book because of the books I still haven’t read, so I just jumped at the chance.

So, let us start at the beginning. It was slow to start. I wasn’t connected to any of the characters, I didn’t have much of an interest other than just entertainment. There were a lot of people introduced at once and I had a hard time keeping them straight at first. Over time the characters got sorted out and each had their own personality.

This book was told from a few different perspectives, but for the most part it added important details to the story. It was interesting to see the thoughts of some people other than Kelsea, and it rounded out the story better than if it would have been just her perspective.

However, with the change in perspectives I found that I had a few issues with one character in particular. Javel is a complicated character, and not in the way most people like. His inner monologue has him come off as a strong character, one that doesn’t take crap. His actions and words tell a completely different story. Javel is a weak man. I was very unimpressed with his character and his story until the very, very end. He only had that one redeeming quality, but it paled against everything else about him.

Kelsea is a character I can defiantly stand behind, though there are two things that irked me. This is more about the writing of the book than it is about Kelsea herself, but that fact that she’s plain, not beautiful, was mentioned so often that I got very annoyed. She’s not as beautiful as her mother was, so what? She looked plain standing next to this woman. Yeah, so what’s your point? I get that she is plain but it doesn’t need to be mentioned multiple times in the first chapter and at least once in all the other chapters. The second was that she sees beauty as vanity. Just because a women is beautiful doesn’t mean she’s automatically a rival or that she’s worthless. It annoyed me that every woman was more beautiful than Kelsea could have imagined. Yeah, well get used to it. You’re the queen now, you’re going to be surrounded by beautiful people.

The one other issue I had was with the timing of everything. I can’t get a sense of how long it was from the begging of the book to the end, and it jumps forward weeks ahead with little explanation.

Despite those problems that I have with the book I really enjoyed it. Very rarely do I get to read about queens taking their keep by storm and upturning everything in her wake. Usually Princesses or other random girls are the main character, and this made me happy. It gave me an insight to what her life was like as queen without boring me.

The plot twist was rather predictable, I had it figured out from halfway through the book, but the way it was handled in the end was interesting.

This author isn’t afraid of killing her characters or going into details most would just briefly skim over. It was refreshing. I can’t wait to listen to or read the next book to see what happens from here!
  
It's Kind of a Funny Story
It's Kind of a Funny Story
7
7.9 (9 Ratings)
Book Rating
"Insightful and utterly authentic... This is an important book." - The New York Times Book Review

I do very much agree with this comment as it is insightful reading about a mind that is depressed as it can be very hard to compute if you are not depressed yourself, even though this is just one story of an individual with depression it does give you a really good indication of what it's like. And from what I've just read, it sounds horrendous and I would never wish it on anybody.

I really like how the story is set out as even though it only takes place over a few days, the flashbacks convey the depth of the story and really show the development of the main character Craig. I love the way the novel helps the reader understand the mental illness with the little man in his stomach, the soldier in his head, over-sweating, his tentacles, and anchors, it is a clear projection of what it is like. Overall the portrayal of this increasingly common illness is beautifully done.

The character Craig is very likable, even the title immediately portrays the kind of guy that he is; funny and good yet complex. Correct me if I am wrong but he is kind of a walking contradiction as while he can be quite melodramatic he also plays things down, he can be very funny but inside his mind is cluttered with sadness. While he sometimes seems angry he can never actually convey that through his actions. The depth of this character is very thorough, it works really well as even though this character is so complex Vizzini portrays him in such an understandable way. The majority of the characters have two common traits; they're likable yet deeply troubled. I enjoyed reading about everyone in the hospital as there was something about the way they're described and portrayed that makes them, somehow familiar and very much likable. I think the development of the main character is truly fantastic and it made me smile, that's all I can really say without giving too much of the story away.

One thing I really did love within the book was the connection between school and stress with these illnesses as far too often it takes up a good portion of why the individual has a mental illness. From personal experience I know that it is beyond difficult to balance everything between, socialising, family time, the school itself, homework, revision, exams, hobbies, extracurricular activities and jobs and then within that you have to eat, drink and sleep. I definitely connected with the story and Craig himself considering this theme. Another aspect of the story I really love is him finding his love for art. That really made me smile, as it was sometimes my anchor too.

As for the movie... It was terrible. I feel bad for saying it but it really was awful. A lot of the acting in it was really bad, a lot of the plot taken from the story was wrong and mixed up which to an extent I understand as obviously you cannot have every detail of the book in the film but it was too muddled. I think the only character that I thought was portrayed quite well in the movie was Bobby, played by Zach Galifianakis as I connected with him and really felt sympathy and joy for him, there is also a lot of humour associated with him too that I liked and really did laugh out loud at. I thought that the guy who played Craig was really bad, I felt nothing for the character in the movie compared to the book, the acting overall was bad and his chemistry with the other actors wasn't all that great either. I apologise for the bad review of the movie but I have to be honest, as an aspiring actor myself I would want to know if I had done well or not.

Overall the novel is incredibly insightful and beautifully written.
  
The Heartbreak Kid (2007)
The Heartbreak Kid (2007)
2007 | Comedy, Drama, Romance
6
4.4 (5 Ratings)
Movie Rating
It has been almost ten years since Ben Stiller teamed with the Farrelly brothers for the comedy classic “There’s Something About Mary”, which launched a series of highly successful films for Stiller who has championed the likeable loser role to the delight of audiences worldwide.

In the new film “The Heartbreak Kid”, Stiller is Eddie Cantrow, a successful owner of a San Francisco sporting goods, store who is at a crossroads in his life. At 40, Eddie is unmarried, not dating anyone, and about to attend the wedding of his former fiancé.

As if Eddie did not have enough to on his mind as he prepares for the wedding, his father (Jerry Stiller), constantly grills him on the need for him to sleep with more women and settle down. His best friend Mac (Rob Coddry) always touts the virtues of marriage and the need to do what the woman tells him to.

Shortly after the wedding, Eddie sees a lady being mugged and attempts to help her out. While things do not go as planned, he does form a connection with her and learns that her name is Lila (Malin Akerman), and despite his inability to muster the courage to ask for her number, she eventually shows up at his store looking for him.

The two begin to date and it looks like Eddie has finally found the perfect girl for him. She even shows old fashioned values by not wanting to have sex until later in their relationship, as she does not want to mess up a good thing.

The couple’s plans take an unexpected detour when Lila informs Eddie that her job plans to move her overseas for two years. When Eddie learns that her company will not transfer a married person, he musters up the courage and marries Lila after only 6 weeks of data.

The smitten couple plan to take three weeks to drive down to Cabo and stay at a resort, and enjoy their first weeks as husband and wife. Along the way, Eddie starts to see some annoying behavior arise in Lila, such as actively singing and acting along to every song on the radio, and some very acrobatic, dominate, and painful tendencies when they consummate their marriage.

As the honeymoon unfolds, Eddie becomes trapped in a nightmare, as it seems that Lila has become a crazy freak, and is not the person he though he married. Unsure what to do next, Eddie meets a lady named Miranda (Michelle Monaghan), while Lila is recovering from severe sunburn.

Intrigued by Miranda, Eddie starts to spend time with her, and soon falls for her which forces Eddie to figure out how to break the news of his marriage to Miranda, and how to get away from Lila.

In true Farrelly brother’s style, a series of outrageous and over the top events follows punctuated by some very crude and at times funny jokes and situations that push Eddie to the limits to find true love.

The film is a remake of the 1972 Neil Simon film of the same name, and while updated with more off color humor, the basic premise of the film has remained unchanged. There are some funny moments in the film and Stiller once again gets the job done as the likeable Eddie.

The problem is that for me, the film was two long, as many times there were gaps of almost twenty minutes between some of the good jokes, and I was left watching fairly dull stuff waiting for the next funny moment to arrive.

The performances in the film were eager, and the brothers did a workmanlike job of direction, as none of the cast was really challenged by the material. Even fine supporting work by Carlos Mencia as Uncle Tito did not get the chance to reach the potential his character showed. In the end, the film just had too many moments that did not work, as the jokes were too few and far between to truly be effective.
  
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Heather Cranmer (2721 KP) rated All In in Books

Dec 30, 2019 (Updated Jan 21, 2020)  
All In
All In
L.K. Simonds | 2019 | Contemporary, Fiction & Poetry, Religion
6
7.7 (3 Ratings)
Book Rating
When I read the synopsis for All In by L.K. Simonds, I was definitely intrigued. There was something about it that really spoke to me.

The plot felt very realistic and was done beautifully. Cami is a 29 year old famous author that doesn't seem to let things bother her much. After breaking up with her boyfriend, things start going downhill for her fast especially when something life changing happens. Unbeknownst to Cami, God is trying to touch her heart. Will she accept or will she push God away like everyone else she's pushed away?

The world building for All In was written very well. I felt like I was with Cami every step of the way from the breakup with her boyfriend, her one night stand, her vacations in Dallas, to her life changing event. While the pacing for All In starts off quite slow, it does eventually pick up about halfway through the book. Once the pacing picked up, I found myself absorbed in each and every little detail All In had to offer. I didn't really feel that this book had any plot twists or at least any major plot twists, but I also felt this novel didn't need any plot twists to hold its reader's interest. I did find myself trying to guess who helped Cami come to her life changing event. (Sorry to be so cryptic, but I don't want to give any spoilers away.) To some, All In may feel a bit preachy towards the ending of the book. However, this is a Christian fiction novel, and it is easy to tell that turning to God is what this book's main message is once you get closer to the ending. While we don't learn who contributed to Cami's life changing event (and it's not a big deal to find out who), every other loose string is tied up by the time the book ends.

The characters in All In are well fleshed out. My favorite character was Kate. I loved, loved, loved how caring she was towards everyone. She never had an unkind word about anyone. In fact, she was such a great role model. She was always full of encouragement throughout. I would love someone like Kate in my life. I also loved how patient Joel (Cami's ex) was with Cami. David was also a great guy, and I also loved how patient he was with Cami and just life in general. Another character I also loved was Sam. Even though he was dying, he wasn't angry or anything. In fact, he seemed very at peace with everything. The one character that did irk me was Cami. She seemed emotionless through most of the story. Joel accuses her basically of being emotionless, and he's right. She also comes off as extremely rude and snobby. I didn't really like or connect with Cami at all until the end of All In. Plus, I found it extremely gross when she was lusting and trying to seduce her 19 year old cousin. Cami seemed to just look at a guy and want to sleep with them. She'd also mention what each guy looked like and how attractive or unattractive they were each time. Cami couldn't just look at a man and see him as just a person. I felt like this took away from the book.

Trigger warnings for All In include death, some profanity, alcohol use, drug use, minor violence, and promiscuity (although the scenes were never graphic).

Overall, All In turns out to be a very uplifting read that sends a fantastic loving message. The plot is solid, and it does have some really sweet characters. I would recommend All In by L.K. Simonds to those aged 18+ who are questioning their faith in God or those who are already believers or are on the verge of believing. All In will leave you feeling satiated and loved.
--
(A special thank you to L.K. Simonds to providing me with a paperback of All In in exchange for an honest and unbiased review.)
  
Edge of Darkness (2010)
Edge of Darkness (2010)
2010 | Drama, Mystery, Thriller
Story: Edge of Darkness starts when Craven (Gibson) get to spend his daughter Emma (Novakovic) only for an unknown gunman killing her on his doorstep, Craven being a homicide detective isn’t allowed to investigate the case for legal reasons, so he decides to go against the law in his search for the murderer.

The early signs make it looks like Craven himself was the target, but it soon comes to light that it might be Emma’s work for a government company run by Jack Bennett (Huston) that might have made her the target and the deeper he digs the more he learns about his daughter.

 

Thoughts on Edge of Darkness

 

Characters – Craven is a respect homicide detective, everyone in the force knows just how capable of solving a murder he can be, but when his own daughter is murdered, he starts to go against the law to figure out who and why she was murdered. He will not stop at anything to locate the truth and take out the people that murdered his daughter. Jedburgh is an English man that will help Craven fill in the gaps, while trying to keep him away from the answers, he has been hired to make sure the investment stays safe, without building up a body count. Jack Bennett runs the company that Emma works for, he knows how to answer questions to keep the press happy, while keeping the shady operations under wraps. Emma is the daughter that Craven is delighted to spend time with once again, only she gets murdered and it is her life before this meeting that we get to see her in.

Performances – Mel Gibson might well have had his problems in Hollywood, but when it comes to crime thrillers, he is in his element always shining in these roles without ever looking out of place, and demanding the screen whenever he steps on screen. Ray Winstone is great in his role, which only seems to be around for the calmer or criminal sides of the film. Danny Huston is an actor that can play a villain in his sleep and this is no different, he brings the smug figure to life here. Bojana Novakovic is great in her smaller role which doesn’t need to get much more screen time to add to the story.

Story – The story here follows a homicide detective that starts to investigate the murder of his daughter only to find himself in the middle of a much bigger conspiracy that puts his own life in danger. This story starts off looking like it is going to be a revenge like movie because of how the first murder happens only to become a big conspiracy movie that offers up plenty of miss-direction as we lead to the truth. Any story that can keep you guessing and let try to figure out the ending yourself is an entertaining watch, with the outcome not even needing to be spoon fed to us either. This might well be a remake of a television show, but it plays into the modern ideas and works with how the conspiracy could be relevant for today’s climate.

Crime/Mystery – The crime side of the film starts by just looking like a murder, it soon dives into cover ups, conspiracy and secret groups which shows how the government might go about trying to cover up a secret. The mystery in the film comes from just how the conspiracy keeps managing to unfold to expose more truth about what Emma was involved in.

Settings – The film uses the Boston setting to show how many crimes have been committed in this stricter state which does show us just how big of a conspiracy needs covering up.


Scene of the Movie – Riverside meeting.

That Moment That Annoyed Me – It would have been nice to see more of Jedburgh.

Final Thoughts – This is a wonderfully intense crime thriller that does keep you guessing throughout the film, we get strong performance throughout and a story that has been modernized without looking out of place.

 

Overall: Hugely entertaining crime thriller.
  
I was overly excited to review Marlene Wynn's The Return of the Avatar Queen when I heard what genre it fell in the New Adult world: fantasy. NOT Contemporary or Romance (or both!) like most seem to be these days. Really, the only New Adult book I've come across that's something other than Contemporary is the Everlast Trilogy by Juliana Haygert (among a few others).

The first in the Averill series is just another step towards some more diversity in the ever growing pool of New Adult books. But here are a few reasons why you should take a moment and read Marlene Wynn's debut novel:

Character Development and World Building – Here's what is probably one of the most difficult things in fantasy and paranormal novels: developing the world – the entire world, because in a fantasy book, most worlds are fictional and completely made up! Wynn has it patted down nicely enough within the book that it's not necessary to have a separate dictionary. I definitely feel as though I know enough about the world of Itova as Chandrea does, and the characters don't feel as though they're miles away from me.
<img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-NQ6pA2Tm_Sk/VIi50dboa_I/AAAAAAAAEEg/IQqffnS_y1w/s1600/awesome.gif"; height="180" width="320">
It's Funny – I had the highlight of my book week while reading Wynn's novel, but whenever there are flying raccoons, I can't really help but find it hilarious. It definitely helps when Shawn becomes a major character and lightens things up. He's just a fantastic edition to the book and he seems to make the lighter side of Chandrea come out as well – I certainly hope the author won't kill him off anytime soon. Not that I actually have a say, of course.
<blockquote>“If you don’t, I won’t bathe, and I’ll sleep curled up right next to you, in all my stinky glory.”</blockquote>
Of course, it's definitely not as hilarious as something I saw in a NCRA magazine about a month ago, or finding out what "bae" really means in another language.

No Surprises – This is more of something I really disliked about The Return of the Avatar Queen rather than something I liked. As much as I love knowing all the side characters' history, I really think I would have enjoyed my reading experience more if there were less views. With the amount of views (which, by the way, is quite a lot), I feel as though I'm one step ahead and the author loses the element of surprise. Whatever seems likely to happen in the future to a character or two is already expected by the reader.

Last time I checked, not being surprised does not dwell well. But credit to Wynn for not making me feel like Hansel and Gretel with bread baked by Peeta, to which I turn into crumbs (the bread, not Peeta). Two facts: 1) I like surprises in books. 2) I don't necessarily like surprises in real life.

Here's a little elaboration on #2: A good friend of mine – I call him Mr. Pokey and yes, he's probably related to Lupe. AKA Miss. Pokey. – volunteered to take me to chess tournaments. A few days later, his mom said she could take both of us, but said friend told our coach that I could go without telling me about it first. As a result, I'm have been plotting his demise. Would I really do it? No, but sometimes I want to throw something at his infuriatingly overconfident face.

So here's a word of advice: Don't try to make decisions for others without telling them about it first. At least, don't make decisions for me unless you're my mom. You could regret it dearly.

Basically, you won't really regret reading The Return of the Avatar Queen. Marlene Wynn's debut novel shows a lot of promise in the future and I'm curious as to where the storyline goes from here on out.
-------------------
Review copy provided by the author for the blog tour
Original Rating: 3.5
Original review posted on <a href="http://bookwyrming-thoughts.blogspot.com/2014/12/blog-tour-chandrea-the-return-of-the-avatar-queen-by-marlene-wynn-review-and-giveaway.html">Bookwyrming Thoughts</a>
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The Recreators
The Recreators
8
8.0 (1 Ratings)
Book Rating
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I went into reading this book partially blind. The blurb doesn’t uncover much, and I was excited as to whether I would like it or not. The Recreators is a young-adult novel that happens in Medieval times and features characters who have God-like powers and are able to change a slight minimal portion of the world.

We follow three separate stories throughout this book:

<b><i>Filia’s story</i></b>

A princess who has disappeared and comes back years later to claim her throne. A fierce woman who is a Recreator, but chooses to use the powers for her own benefit. In this story we can see how Filia develops as a character, changes while learning new things, makes sacrifices and answers some of the most asked social questions… A powerful story of growing up, and definitely my favourite one of all three.

<b><i>Vepresila’s story</i></b>

She is chosen by the Goddess to serve her, but decides to take destiny in her own hands. This girl grew up with her family in a tribe with different moral and cultural values than what we know. Men and women don’t sleep under the same roof, and boys have to pass tests to become men, otherwise, they are stuck and disrespected. When the girl is chosen to go to the Goddess’ temple and serve her, she realises that the system doesn’t work, and tries to beat it. Finding her own destiny can prove to be a bouncy road, but she goes for it.

<b><i>Simmiolas’s story</i></b>

He is a Recreator and comes back to fixes a mistake he made in the past. While he travels, he settles with a circle of people, but they fail to believe he has powers and he doesn’t seem able to change their views on how they see nature and the world. Taking a dear friend with him, he is set on a mission to do what is right, before it is too late.

<b><i>'’Just because things don’t always go as planned, it doesn’t always mean the outcome will be for the worse.’’</i></b>

These three stories feature these three different characters, with a lot of characters surrounding them and supporting them. The three stories connect each other at a few points, some sooner, some later. They never fully connect though, which did bother me, as I was expecting a one big ending. The three stories remained separated, which made me think if it would’ve been better to not connect them at all, or create three separate books for them.

<b><i> ‘’But if all places have different ideas about what’s right and wrong, how do we know what really is right and wrong?’’</i></b>

Despite the story lines and the grammar errors I encountered, this book was truly amazing and I really enjoyed reading it. I loved the concept of the powers, loved the ethical lessons throughout the book, and I absolutely loved watching all of these characters grow in their own kind of way.

There were amazing scenes of what is wrong and right, what fear is and how to overcome it, how to keep going despite making mistakes in the past, and a lot of various life lessons worth reading. I recommend this book if this seems like the genre you might enjoy reading. It was the first book
I read by Desiree Nordlund and I can’t wait to read more books written by her.

<b><i>‘’The best way to cure fear of the unknown is to admit what caused the fear and watch it until it’s no longer something strange.’’</i></b>

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The Host (2013)
The Host (2013)
2013 | Romance, Sci-Fi, Thriller
In Stephanie Meyer’s adult sci-fi novel “The Host”, Melanie is one of the few remaining humans on Earth who hasn’t been physically taken over by a Soul. Souls are parasitic aliens that are surgically implanted into humans and take over the host body. In most cases, all that remains of the human are their memories. But not in Melanie’s case. Pursued by human-hunting Souls called “Seekers”, Melanie (Saoirse Ronan) launches herself out of a window to escape capture, but miraculously survives the fall to be captured anyway. In the hands of the aliens, Melanie is implanted with a Soul called “Wanderer” who finds herself fighting internally with her host who is alive and well in the Wanderer’s head.

It’s Wanderer’s job to dig through Melanie’s memories to find out where other humans, like Melanie’s brother Jamie and boyfriend Jared are hiding. Melanie is uncooperative and Wanderer is soon convinced she needs to be removed from Melanie’s body. But no one wants the information on the humans more than the head Seeker (Diane Kruger). Neither Melanie nor Wanderer trust Seeker to not replace Wanderer with herself, so Melanie/Wanderer escape to find a Healer who can remove Wanderer from Melanie. On the way, Melanie convinces Wanderer to help her find her Uncle Jeb whom Melanie, Jamie and Jared had been seeking before Melanie was captured.

It’s Uncle Jeb who eventually discovers his lost and dehydrated niece and takes her to his hideout, a network of caves inside an inactive volcano that houses about 3 dozen humans. There Melanie is reunited with her little brother and her boyfriend, but is soundly rejected by her Jared when he realizes she’s host to a Soul. Wanderer has to win the humans trust, which is difficult, to say the least, when all the humans want to do is kill her. This includes a boy named Ian who, after attempting to choke Wanderer to death, finds himself attracted to Wanderer, much to Jared and Melanie’s consternation.

If this review hasn’t put you to sleep already, congratulations! There’s a slight chance then that you’ll make it through the movie. While Ronan plays Melanie/Wanderer beautifully, hers was the only performance that had some semblance of emotion. Even John Hurt, who plays Uncle Jeb, looked like he had just enough energy and interest to utter a few words simply for laughs. Jared, played by Max Irons (yes, Jeremy’s son) is adequately sigh-worthy, as indicated by the teens present, and so is Ian, played by Jake Abel albeit in a less brooding manner.

While the Souls are supposed to be a peaceful race, Kruger’s Seeker is deadly intent on finding Wanderer. This is the film’s only true conflict and it’s lackluster at best. One moviegoer who read the book said the movie followed the novel closely, but the movie did away with quite a few ancillary characters. I think my husband said it best when he told me, “I never thought I’d utter these words, but Twilight was better.” Just like Twilight rewrote vampire and werewolf mythology, The Host tries to portray the story’s aliens as harmless, peaceful invaders. For someone who grew up with the Alien franchise, I think it was difficult for my husband to accept the delicate, fluttery, dandelion-esque Souls and their “peaceful” assault on Earth, much less the awkward teenage love triangle. Or square, rather.

Not having read the book yet, I went into the movie with little more than a synopsis of the plot. I had no expectations so I wasn’t terribly disappointed by the movie but I must admit I struggled more than usual to stay awake. Most of those in the audience who read the book seemed okay with its theatrical adaptation but that’s just it. No one was wowed and there was an almost tangible malaise to the crowd as we exited the theater. These advance screeners are promoted to create buzz, and good movies literally have that excited buzz as the audience exits the theater. The only buzz after this movie was the static caused by the slow shuffle of feet as we piled out of the theater. If you’re a true Meyer fan, I’m sure there’s no stopping you from catching this movie but if you’re not, there’s really no compelling you to watch.