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Debbiereadsbook (1072 KP) rated Marvin (Assassin's To Order #1) in Books
Mar 10, 2023
did not see the DNA twist coming!
Independent reviewer for Archaeolibrarian, I was gifted my copy of this book.
This s a spin series, from the Tangled Tentacles series. While not necessary to have read all 5 books, you should at least read book 5, Kelvin. But then again, I said in my review for THAT book, you need to read them all first, so read them all, then!
We met Marvin in Kelvin's book. He surprised everyone, even me. I loved his sweet nature then, his fierce protectiveness of all the Thalassa babies and of those boys who are still missing. It's one of those boys, Ajani, who especially calls to Marvin. Given as Ajani is his soul mate, hardly surprising, but what did surprise me was how little Ajani thought of himself, how he thinks that MArvin does not deserve someone like him.
The lost boys have been trained as assassins. And that's all they know. Revealing themselves, as they are being called to do, opens a whole can of worms no one saw coming, least of all Marvin but he rallies and manages to keep Ajani and the others safe for a time. What that does do, though, it put a target on Marvin's head. Finding out WHO becomes everyone's sole focus.
I loved who all the Thalassa Kracken are here, along with their mates and the babies!
I did NOT see the twist as to what Marvin's DNA might contain, til that was thrown at me!
Marvin and Ajani's tale is a tad sweeter than the Thalassa books, but mostly cos of Marvin. Changing it a smexier book would lose a little of the sweetness Marvin brings to this world and I'd hate that. It is a little darker too, if that makes any sense. These boys are trained assassins and they make no bones about it. It's talked about, what they do and you need to know that.
The epilogue leads very nicely into book 2, as all these books do.
HOWEVER!
Something was missing for me, and Sayle has a knack of serious pushing my book brain with questions, questions, SO MANY FREAKING QUESTIONS! I can't voice those questions either and it equally pisses me off and strives me to dig deeper in my book brain to get them out! I said, in a review for another of Sayle's books " If I cannot voice the questions, how can the author answer them??"
And that's exactly what we have here. Something was missing and I gotta dig DEEP to figure out what.
Still, a very engaging read, that kept me fully engrossed for the whole single sitting I read it in.
4 stars
*same worded review will appear elsewhere
This s a spin series, from the Tangled Tentacles series. While not necessary to have read all 5 books, you should at least read book 5, Kelvin. But then again, I said in my review for THAT book, you need to read them all first, so read them all, then!
We met Marvin in Kelvin's book. He surprised everyone, even me. I loved his sweet nature then, his fierce protectiveness of all the Thalassa babies and of those boys who are still missing. It's one of those boys, Ajani, who especially calls to Marvin. Given as Ajani is his soul mate, hardly surprising, but what did surprise me was how little Ajani thought of himself, how he thinks that MArvin does not deserve someone like him.
The lost boys have been trained as assassins. And that's all they know. Revealing themselves, as they are being called to do, opens a whole can of worms no one saw coming, least of all Marvin but he rallies and manages to keep Ajani and the others safe for a time. What that does do, though, it put a target on Marvin's head. Finding out WHO becomes everyone's sole focus.
I loved who all the Thalassa Kracken are here, along with their mates and the babies!
I did NOT see the twist as to what Marvin's DNA might contain, til that was thrown at me!
Marvin and Ajani's tale is a tad sweeter than the Thalassa books, but mostly cos of Marvin. Changing it a smexier book would lose a little of the sweetness Marvin brings to this world and I'd hate that. It is a little darker too, if that makes any sense. These boys are trained assassins and they make no bones about it. It's talked about, what they do and you need to know that.
The epilogue leads very nicely into book 2, as all these books do.
HOWEVER!
Something was missing for me, and Sayle has a knack of serious pushing my book brain with questions, questions, SO MANY FREAKING QUESTIONS! I can't voice those questions either and it equally pisses me off and strives me to dig deeper in my book brain to get them out! I said, in a review for another of Sayle's books " If I cannot voice the questions, how can the author answer them??"
And that's exactly what we have here. Something was missing and I gotta dig DEEP to figure out what.
Still, a very engaging read, that kept me fully engrossed for the whole single sitting I read it in.
4 stars
*same worded review will appear elsewhere
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Debbiereadsbook (1072 KP) rated Victor (Tangled Tentacles #2) in Books
May 19, 2022
It's a lot darker than book one, but I think the love level is so much higher.
Independent reviewer for Archaeolibrarian, I ws gifted my copy of this book.
This is book 2 in the Tangled Tentacles series. It would help, but not totally necessary, to read book 1, Alexi, before this one. This picks up immediately from the end of that one, and the on-going story arc continues here. Actually, I take that back, you probably SHOULD read Alexi first!
I gave 4 stars to Alexi and Danik's story but this one far surpasses that! And I'm still left with questions and I don't freaking care!
Victor finds Azim at the end of book 1, half dead, and he knows straight away, that Azim is two things: a vampire and his mate. And Victor will do anything for his mate, except bond with him, while Azim cannot say yes. Victor is a little too focussed on waiting for Azim to consent, that he doesn't quite put two and two together and get pen and paper to Azim but hey, the Kraken is besotted! But I did love that, that Victor waited.
It takes time for Azim to be fully aware and awake but he knows Victor, deep in his soul and he knows Victor will save him. Azim suffered badly at the hands of a madman, and it takes time for those injuries to heal, with the help of the pool at the bottom of their building and those little snails!
We find out just what Todd was smirking at Alexi and Danik about, but given what that was, Danik was right to punch Alexi! What happens later in the pool though, was both slightly weird and beautiful at the same time. Not saying what but you'll figure it out!
It's a lot darker than book one, given where he was found and what condition Azim was in, but I think the love level is so much higher. Not just the smexy times, I mean the emotional times. Azim and Victor take the time to get to know each other as Azim heals and a lot comes out. Loved that. Smexy times are there, but more on a back burner, I think.
Hints to Markov (another brother) and Cassius (who leads the group looking for the missing shifters) are front and centre, but he is not next. Todd, the only omega and the youngest in the group of 5 brothers, is up next and his story, I think, might knock this off the favourite perch for two reasons: Todd gets 2 mates, and they are dragons!
Still with the questions though, but I'm trying really hard to shut my question asking book brain down, when reading Sayle books, the woman is a master at wrecking my head!
5 dark and deadly, but so much lovely, stars
*same worded review will appear elsewhere
This is book 2 in the Tangled Tentacles series. It would help, but not totally necessary, to read book 1, Alexi, before this one. This picks up immediately from the end of that one, and the on-going story arc continues here. Actually, I take that back, you probably SHOULD read Alexi first!
I gave 4 stars to Alexi and Danik's story but this one far surpasses that! And I'm still left with questions and I don't freaking care!
Victor finds Azim at the end of book 1, half dead, and he knows straight away, that Azim is two things: a vampire and his mate. And Victor will do anything for his mate, except bond with him, while Azim cannot say yes. Victor is a little too focussed on waiting for Azim to consent, that he doesn't quite put two and two together and get pen and paper to Azim but hey, the Kraken is besotted! But I did love that, that Victor waited.
It takes time for Azim to be fully aware and awake but he knows Victor, deep in his soul and he knows Victor will save him. Azim suffered badly at the hands of a madman, and it takes time for those injuries to heal, with the help of the pool at the bottom of their building and those little snails!
We find out just what Todd was smirking at Alexi and Danik about, but given what that was, Danik was right to punch Alexi! What happens later in the pool though, was both slightly weird and beautiful at the same time. Not saying what but you'll figure it out!
It's a lot darker than book one, given where he was found and what condition Azim was in, but I think the love level is so much higher. Not just the smexy times, I mean the emotional times. Azim and Victor take the time to get to know each other as Azim heals and a lot comes out. Loved that. Smexy times are there, but more on a back burner, I think.
Hints to Markov (another brother) and Cassius (who leads the group looking for the missing shifters) are front and centre, but he is not next. Todd, the only omega and the youngest in the group of 5 brothers, is up next and his story, I think, might knock this off the favourite perch for two reasons: Todd gets 2 mates, and they are dragons!
Still with the questions though, but I'm trying really hard to shut my question asking book brain down, when reading Sayle books, the woman is a master at wrecking my head!
5 dark and deadly, but so much lovely, stars
*same worded review will appear elsewhere
Lottie disney bookworm (1056 KP) rated The Mermaid, the Witch and the Sea in Books
Sep 20, 2020
Thank you to Netgalley and Walker books for providing this ARC in exchange for an honest review.
I chose this book simply based on the synopsis and the gorgeous cover art. I expected it to be a standard YA read, perhaps edging on middle grade but wow was I wrong! This novel contains all the gritty bits of a Pirate’s life and is as far from Neverland pirates and mermaids as you can get.
The Mermaid, the Witch and the Sea centres around the relationship between a high-born, queer, Japanese-inspired noblewoman, Evelyn and a pirate named Florian who is secretly a girl named Flora, disguising themself in order to gain the respect of their crew mates.
Evelyn and Florian instantly capture the heart of the reader. They are such an unlikely match and from completely different worlds but the way that Maggie Tokuda-Hall throws these two characters together and alternates chapters between their perspectives is so compelling. The secret attraction and the pining between Evelyn and Florian can literally be felt through the pages. These two are guaranteed to stay with you long after the book is finished.
In fact, the majority of Tokuda-Hall’s cast of characters are so well developed: we have Rake, the first mate who is a very closed character and keeps his own intentions close to his chest for most of the novel. We have a gender-fluid Pirate Supreme, an imperialist noblewoman who can kick ass and Flora’s brother Alfie, a tortured soul whose traumatic past is alluded to often.
The portrayal of mermaids in the novel is nothing short of inspired: hunted and captured for the properties their blood possesses, mermaids are quite ugly when imprisoned by pirates. These mythical creatures that are renowned for their beauty are only conventionally beautiful in the presence of their loving mother: The Sea. The Sea in turn will do whatever she can to protect her children, and will always reward those who help.
The other pirates are, as you would expect, a group of shady characters but they do not fade into the background at all. Tokuda-Hall reveals right from the beginning the true intentions of this crew and it creates an underlying tension throughout the whole voyage upon The Dove. The twists, secrets and revelations onboard that ship are captivating and create a page-turning first half of the book.
I will say that during the middle of the book, mainly during “The Witch” section, the pace slowed dramatically and it just didn’t flow as much.
I almost wanted more treachery and more suspense from the witch, more struggle by Evelyn and, dare I say, more pining from Evelyn and Florian. Their relationship up to this point had been so intense and slow burning that it almost seemed to cool a little.
I also feel that not quite enough was made of Evelyn’s discovery about the real reason behind her voyage. It was almost a convenient way for that side of her story to be resolved. Similarly, with Florian/Flora; their evolution from Pirate to Witch seemed quite acceptable and tame.
These factors, in my opinion, affected the ending of the novel where everything seemed quite rushed in its efforts to tie up all loose ends. Please don’t misunderstand, I LOVED the ending and how Evelyn and Flora/Florian finished their journey. I even shed a few tears. However, it was the lead up to this that just seemed too convenient and too quick.
Overall this is a wonderfully dark pirate novel that instantly creates a world full of magic and wonder whilst tackling the issues of identity, colonialism, homophobia, poverty and rape. A world where gender-fluid and queer characters fight against injustice alongside endangered mermaids and the Sea is to be respected almost as a deity.
I cannot believe that this is merely Maggie Tokuda-Hall’s debut novel! I cannot wait to see where she takes us next!
I chose this book simply based on the synopsis and the gorgeous cover art. I expected it to be a standard YA read, perhaps edging on middle grade but wow was I wrong! This novel contains all the gritty bits of a Pirate’s life and is as far from Neverland pirates and mermaids as you can get.
The Mermaid, the Witch and the Sea centres around the relationship between a high-born, queer, Japanese-inspired noblewoman, Evelyn and a pirate named Florian who is secretly a girl named Flora, disguising themself in order to gain the respect of their crew mates.
Evelyn and Florian instantly capture the heart of the reader. They are such an unlikely match and from completely different worlds but the way that Maggie Tokuda-Hall throws these two characters together and alternates chapters between their perspectives is so compelling. The secret attraction and the pining between Evelyn and Florian can literally be felt through the pages. These two are guaranteed to stay with you long after the book is finished.
In fact, the majority of Tokuda-Hall’s cast of characters are so well developed: we have Rake, the first mate who is a very closed character and keeps his own intentions close to his chest for most of the novel. We have a gender-fluid Pirate Supreme, an imperialist noblewoman who can kick ass and Flora’s brother Alfie, a tortured soul whose traumatic past is alluded to often.
The portrayal of mermaids in the novel is nothing short of inspired: hunted and captured for the properties their blood possesses, mermaids are quite ugly when imprisoned by pirates. These mythical creatures that are renowned for their beauty are only conventionally beautiful in the presence of their loving mother: The Sea. The Sea in turn will do whatever she can to protect her children, and will always reward those who help.
The other pirates are, as you would expect, a group of shady characters but they do not fade into the background at all. Tokuda-Hall reveals right from the beginning the true intentions of this crew and it creates an underlying tension throughout the whole voyage upon The Dove. The twists, secrets and revelations onboard that ship are captivating and create a page-turning first half of the book.
I will say that during the middle of the book, mainly during “The Witch” section, the pace slowed dramatically and it just didn’t flow as much.
I almost wanted more treachery and more suspense from the witch, more struggle by Evelyn and, dare I say, more pining from Evelyn and Florian. Their relationship up to this point had been so intense and slow burning that it almost seemed to cool a little.
I also feel that not quite enough was made of Evelyn’s discovery about the real reason behind her voyage. It was almost a convenient way for that side of her story to be resolved. Similarly, with Florian/Flora; their evolution from Pirate to Witch seemed quite acceptable and tame.
These factors, in my opinion, affected the ending of the novel where everything seemed quite rushed in its efforts to tie up all loose ends. Please don’t misunderstand, I LOVED the ending and how Evelyn and Flora/Florian finished their journey. I even shed a few tears. However, it was the lead up to this that just seemed too convenient and too quick.
Overall this is a wonderfully dark pirate novel that instantly creates a world full of magic and wonder whilst tackling the issues of identity, colonialism, homophobia, poverty and rape. A world where gender-fluid and queer characters fight against injustice alongside endangered mermaids and the Sea is to be respected almost as a deity.
I cannot believe that this is merely Maggie Tokuda-Hall’s debut novel! I cannot wait to see where she takes us next!
Kara Skinner (332 KP) rated Fallen Angel in Books
Sep 10, 2019
Genre: Contemporary Adult
Average Goodreads Rating: 4.27
My Rating: 2.5
“What do you see when you look into my eyes?” I asked breathlessly and not entirely sure where the question had come from.
“All there is to know,” was his reply. “What do you see when you look into my eyes, Brooke?” he whispered, there was a slight anger to his voice.
I trembled. “An abyss and danger,” was all I could say.
I found Fallen Angel when I was looking for angel/mortal romance novels. Even though Fallen Angel was listed as a mafia romance and not not the supernatural romance I was looking for, I picked it up anyway. And at first it was great.
It immediately started out with a strong love story. Brooke is in the midst of an existential crisis after breaking up with her long-time boyfriend. When she visits her best friend Sam in New York, she ends up meeting billionaire Robert Stone, a handsome CEO who doesn’t know how to take no for an answer. To the point of being a jerk about it. But at least he’s self aware about that.
“I’m worried that I might hurt you. I have a knack of doing that when people get too close to me, a defense mechanism, I guess.”
No one pretends Robert is a great boyfriend, which I love. There are too many alpha billionaires out there that are disturbingly abusive while everyone pretends it’s a normal relationship. Not here. Robert’s actually one of the first to admit that he’s not a good boyfriend and he’s never had a real relationship. Which is great. I love flawed heroes. And when Robert does get better at communicating his feelings, it’s worth it.
“I love you, Brooke. You’ll never know just how much because there are no words.”
And Brooke is strong enough to handle him. She stands up to Robert when he disses Sam for being gay (which, by the way, I hated a lot. You can be a flawed badass without being a homophobe. Ugh. Major turn-off for me) and when he makes a big deal about her wearing a revealing dress.
“I wore it for you and not for anyone else. If people can see my body, so what? You’re the only one touching it,” I told him.
Brooke’s even a trained kick boxer. She’s incredibly strong and perfect to help Robert get over his past.
Then the story falls flat.
tired-and-bored-boy-sleep-014
After their second fight and make up, the story gets monotonous real fast. A lot of sex scenes– which, to be fair, were actually hot and well-written– and a lot of the mundane stuff. Brooke hanging out with Sam and Scott, Brooke working, Brooke attending one event or another with Robert. The story just dragged. And with the actual story dragging, the amount of comma splices and run-on sentences became more noticeable to me and book was practically unreadable. I had to make myself finish because I had already invested so much time into it.
It’s not like there wasn’t potential for more plot. There’s a jealous ex girlfriend out to steal Robert back and Brooke’s ex boyfriend can’t accept their break up. Brooke takes a troubled teen under her wing and isn’t this supposed to be a mafia romance?
And yet the majority of the middle of the book is sex, clothes, work days, and how great Brooke is for Robert. On top of that, Brooke loses a lot of the strength and independence I saw earlier in the book. In fact, she turned into a love sick teen.
Our souls, so entwined, were part of each other, true soul mates. Not even death would separate us.
marrypoppinsareyouill
To make matters worse, Robert’s criminal background isn’t revealed until three quarters of the way through the story! And since he got out of illegal activities years before he met Brooke, it’s really anticlimactic. Brooke makes a huge deal out of it and almost leaves him because of his past, which makes me dislike her even more. The criminal element actually seems more like an after thought to this so-called mafia romance. I’m really surprised it has such a high rating on Goodreads because I found it pretty disappointing. My rating is 2.5 stars because of the strong beginning, but I definitely won’t be reading any more of the Fallen Angel series.
Average Goodreads Rating: 4.27
My Rating: 2.5
“What do you see when you look into my eyes?” I asked breathlessly and not entirely sure where the question had come from.
“All there is to know,” was his reply. “What do you see when you look into my eyes, Brooke?” he whispered, there was a slight anger to his voice.
I trembled. “An abyss and danger,” was all I could say.
I found Fallen Angel when I was looking for angel/mortal romance novels. Even though Fallen Angel was listed as a mafia romance and not not the supernatural romance I was looking for, I picked it up anyway. And at first it was great.
It immediately started out with a strong love story. Brooke is in the midst of an existential crisis after breaking up with her long-time boyfriend. When she visits her best friend Sam in New York, she ends up meeting billionaire Robert Stone, a handsome CEO who doesn’t know how to take no for an answer. To the point of being a jerk about it. But at least he’s self aware about that.
“I’m worried that I might hurt you. I have a knack of doing that when people get too close to me, a defense mechanism, I guess.”
No one pretends Robert is a great boyfriend, which I love. There are too many alpha billionaires out there that are disturbingly abusive while everyone pretends it’s a normal relationship. Not here. Robert’s actually one of the first to admit that he’s not a good boyfriend and he’s never had a real relationship. Which is great. I love flawed heroes. And when Robert does get better at communicating his feelings, it’s worth it.
“I love you, Brooke. You’ll never know just how much because there are no words.”
And Brooke is strong enough to handle him. She stands up to Robert when he disses Sam for being gay (which, by the way, I hated a lot. You can be a flawed badass without being a homophobe. Ugh. Major turn-off for me) and when he makes a big deal about her wearing a revealing dress.
“I wore it for you and not for anyone else. If people can see my body, so what? You’re the only one touching it,” I told him.
Brooke’s even a trained kick boxer. She’s incredibly strong and perfect to help Robert get over his past.
Then the story falls flat.
tired-and-bored-boy-sleep-014
After their second fight and make up, the story gets monotonous real fast. A lot of sex scenes– which, to be fair, were actually hot and well-written– and a lot of the mundane stuff. Brooke hanging out with Sam and Scott, Brooke working, Brooke attending one event or another with Robert. The story just dragged. And with the actual story dragging, the amount of comma splices and run-on sentences became more noticeable to me and book was practically unreadable. I had to make myself finish because I had already invested so much time into it.
It’s not like there wasn’t potential for more plot. There’s a jealous ex girlfriend out to steal Robert back and Brooke’s ex boyfriend can’t accept their break up. Brooke takes a troubled teen under her wing and isn’t this supposed to be a mafia romance?
And yet the majority of the middle of the book is sex, clothes, work days, and how great Brooke is for Robert. On top of that, Brooke loses a lot of the strength and independence I saw earlier in the book. In fact, she turned into a love sick teen.
Our souls, so entwined, were part of each other, true soul mates. Not even death would separate us.
marrypoppinsareyouill
To make matters worse, Robert’s criminal background isn’t revealed until three quarters of the way through the story! And since he got out of illegal activities years before he met Brooke, it’s really anticlimactic. Brooke makes a huge deal out of it and almost leaves him because of his past, which makes me dislike her even more. The criminal element actually seems more like an after thought to this so-called mafia romance. I’m really surprised it has such a high rating on Goodreads because I found it pretty disappointing. My rating is 2.5 stars because of the strong beginning, but I definitely won’t be reading any more of the Fallen Angel series.
Bob Mann (459 KP) rated Pitch Perfect 3 (2017) in Movies
Sep 29, 2021
Aca-bysmal.
Mr Plot and Miss Tale were teenage sweethearts. They met at Storyville High School and inseparable, but were viciously cursed by a jealous school nurse, bitter from a recent split. Notwithstanding this setback, they realised that they were soul-mates, got engaged and were married in the following summer. Everyone wished them well, and spoke of the time when the sound of little Plots would ring out around their new house. Unfortunately, however hard they tried, no little Plot arrived. The ancient curse of the school nurse rang in their ears. They paid to see the most expensive doctors on Harley Street, but noone could help them. It turned out that not only was Mrs Plot infertile, but so was Mr Plot. It was hopeless, and because of an unfortunate conviction for marujiana possession in Mr Plot’s teenage years they couldn’t even adapt, sorry, adopt a little Plot from someone else. So they lived together with sadness and bitterness building up inside them. Would the curse ever be lifted? Would they work through their differences to find new purpose in life? Or would they part acromoniously with Mrs Plot joining a convent to sing mournful songs of grief and missed opportunities in the Swiss Alps? TO… BE…CONTINUED.
There. You were there, weren’t you? Living it. You want to know what happens next? Sure you do. You see, even I can come up with a story…. and I’m not a “professional Hollywood scriptwriter”.
Why then, I ask you. Why oh why oh why oh why oh why do the scriptwriters of Pitch Perfect 3 – Kay Cannon (the original PP screenwriter) and Mike White (“The Emoji Movie”) – think that this dreadfully lazy set of loosely connected scenes represent a viable basis for a movie? Is the view from the guys who green-lit this thing that the crowd that loved “Pitch Perfect” and the pretty dreadful sequel “Pitch Perfect 2” will pay their box office money regardless? Let’s advertise the hell out of it and cash in our chips before word of mouth gets out!?
In this ‘adventure’ the Bellas go on a US Forces overseas tour (though this is not really explained until they suddenly appear in Spain – what? how?). The really REALLY annoying commentators John (John Michael Higgins) and Gail (Elizabeth Banks, “Love and Mercy“) tag along, filming some lame half-arsed documentary about them until even the scriptwriters get fed up of that tedious plot-line and it quietly withers on the vine.
Fat Amy (is this still an acceptable nickname in 2017?) also runs into her nefarious father again after many years (John Lithgow, “Interstellar“, “Daddy’s Home 2“). Lithgow – sporting a wonderful Australian accent – is about the best thing in the film. The “plot” (sorry, I can barely bring myself to use that word) revolves around Daddy trying to get something of Amy’s that he needs, for reasons – given the yacht he sails – that makes no sense whatsoever. Will he succeed? Will the Bellas get selected to headline with DJ Khaled (who is apparently a thing, but I’ve never heard him on BBC Radio 2)? Does anyone really care?
As my wife pointed out, it’s a bit unfortunate that the only Bellas who are not stick-thin size zeroes are the obese and annoyingly loud one, the black lesbian one and two that nobody knows why they are there. The message to the target female teen audience is clear: if you want to be “in” you’d better diet… hard. Nice.
Looking for all the world like sticks of candy-cane. The size 0 Bellas.
What can I say that’s vaguely nice about this monstrosity?
Some of the acapella song and dance numbers are fun enough, particularly “Toxic” that opens the film;
The closing number by Anna Kendrick (“Table 19“) is quite appealing;
There are also about 5 funny lines that made me smile: not laugh… smile;
It’s also a relief that John and Gail, unlike in “Pitch Perfect 2“, only come out with one xenophobic/racist comment in the film (and that’s about the French, so that hardly counts 🙂 ).
And I’m out…
There will be no doubt die-hard teenage fans who will love this one too. But my wife was a great fan of the first film (as indeed was I); she tolerated the second one; but even she declared this to be “Aca-Awful”. It’s not as toxically dreadful as “Dirty Grandpa“… what could be? But, seriously, life is too short for this.
There. You were there, weren’t you? Living it. You want to know what happens next? Sure you do. You see, even I can come up with a story…. and I’m not a “professional Hollywood scriptwriter”.
Why then, I ask you. Why oh why oh why oh why oh why do the scriptwriters of Pitch Perfect 3 – Kay Cannon (the original PP screenwriter) and Mike White (“The Emoji Movie”) – think that this dreadfully lazy set of loosely connected scenes represent a viable basis for a movie? Is the view from the guys who green-lit this thing that the crowd that loved “Pitch Perfect” and the pretty dreadful sequel “Pitch Perfect 2” will pay their box office money regardless? Let’s advertise the hell out of it and cash in our chips before word of mouth gets out!?
In this ‘adventure’ the Bellas go on a US Forces overseas tour (though this is not really explained until they suddenly appear in Spain – what? how?). The really REALLY annoying commentators John (John Michael Higgins) and Gail (Elizabeth Banks, “Love and Mercy“) tag along, filming some lame half-arsed documentary about them until even the scriptwriters get fed up of that tedious plot-line and it quietly withers on the vine.
Fat Amy (is this still an acceptable nickname in 2017?) also runs into her nefarious father again after many years (John Lithgow, “Interstellar“, “Daddy’s Home 2“). Lithgow – sporting a wonderful Australian accent – is about the best thing in the film. The “plot” (sorry, I can barely bring myself to use that word) revolves around Daddy trying to get something of Amy’s that he needs, for reasons – given the yacht he sails – that makes no sense whatsoever. Will he succeed? Will the Bellas get selected to headline with DJ Khaled (who is apparently a thing, but I’ve never heard him on BBC Radio 2)? Does anyone really care?
As my wife pointed out, it’s a bit unfortunate that the only Bellas who are not stick-thin size zeroes are the obese and annoyingly loud one, the black lesbian one and two that nobody knows why they are there. The message to the target female teen audience is clear: if you want to be “in” you’d better diet… hard. Nice.
Looking for all the world like sticks of candy-cane. The size 0 Bellas.
What can I say that’s vaguely nice about this monstrosity?
Some of the acapella song and dance numbers are fun enough, particularly “Toxic” that opens the film;
The closing number by Anna Kendrick (“Table 19“) is quite appealing;
There are also about 5 funny lines that made me smile: not laugh… smile;
It’s also a relief that John and Gail, unlike in “Pitch Perfect 2“, only come out with one xenophobic/racist comment in the film (and that’s about the French, so that hardly counts 🙂 ).
And I’m out…
There will be no doubt die-hard teenage fans who will love this one too. But my wife was a great fan of the first film (as indeed was I); she tolerated the second one; but even she declared this to be “Aca-Awful”. It’s not as toxically dreadful as “Dirty Grandpa“… what could be? But, seriously, life is too short for this.