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Sarah (7798 KP) rated Doom: Annihilation (2019) in Movies
Jul 19, 2020
Pretty dire
Let’s be honest, the first Doom film was never going to win any Oscars but it at least had a lot of cheesy and fun charm alongside a fairly star studded cast. Sadly this reboot has no such qualities.
To start with, you can tell this is a very low budget film. The whole thing just looks cheap, from the poorly built sets to the costumes and props. It just has an overall feel of a cheap made for TV movie. And then there’s the cast and the script, both of which are incredibly dire. The acting for the most part is terrible, although I did have a soft spot for the rather over the top and hilarious Australian Winslow. One good thing about this is they at least use mostly physical effects, which is probably because the CGI is awful when it is eventually used. That said, some of the physical effects are pretty atrocious too. The creatures when they eventually show up (after the weird zombie like creatures that aren’t Doom in the slightest), they’re obviously just a bloke in a suit and a very badly made suit at that. The creatures aren’t scary, they’re just funny and actually reminded me of the bad guys you used to see on Power Rangers.
There are some films that are so bad they’re good, but sadly this isn’t one of them. This is just plain awful and really didn’t need to be made.
To start with, you can tell this is a very low budget film. The whole thing just looks cheap, from the poorly built sets to the costumes and props. It just has an overall feel of a cheap made for TV movie. And then there’s the cast and the script, both of which are incredibly dire. The acting for the most part is terrible, although I did have a soft spot for the rather over the top and hilarious Australian Winslow. One good thing about this is they at least use mostly physical effects, which is probably because the CGI is awful when it is eventually used. That said, some of the physical effects are pretty atrocious too. The creatures when they eventually show up (after the weird zombie like creatures that aren’t Doom in the slightest), they’re obviously just a bloke in a suit and a very badly made suit at that. The creatures aren’t scary, they’re just funny and actually reminded me of the bad guys you used to see on Power Rangers.
There are some films that are so bad they’re good, but sadly this isn’t one of them. This is just plain awful and really didn’t need to be made.
LoganCrews (2861 KP) rated Motherless Brooklyn (2019) in Movies
Mar 10, 2021 (Updated Mar 11, 2021)
A swing and a miss, to be sure - but boy do I admire what a wide fuckin' swing it is. Norton clearly loves and understands the mechanisms of film noir but translates them into a boiling hot mess. A baffling Frankenstein's monster of hokey performances, grotesque fakey-looking cinematography, trash editing, formless structure, and corny dialogue - you'd think no one here had ever been involved with the moviemaking process before, it's actually bewildering. The ever-dependable (and criminally underrated) Daniel Pemberton's score as well as some fine production are in direct conflict with its shit TV movie visuals - so there ends up being no actual mood here either. Its noble but muddled attempt at reviving the old-school prestige gumshoe epic make it at least mildly diverting oftentimes - but there's a whole lot of people explaining the plot to each other and not a lot of actual character on display. Nothing really feels lived-in, we're told time and time again how much we're supposed to feel for these relationships despite the fact that everyone just kind of bounces in and out only when they're needed to advance the plot with no further development - and its 50s setting it banks so hard on is mere window dressing to peddle the type of plot you've seen a hundred other times in these. Am I supposed to be shocked that urban renewal leaders are greedy, egotistical, and racist?
LeftSideCut (3778 KP) rated Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem (AVP 2) (2007) in Movies
Jun 28, 2019
A shameless money grab
After the thoroughly underwhelming AVP, we are presented with Requiem, a film that's entices you with it's R rating (after the first films odd PG-13 rating), and it's clear to see why a lot of the advertising was centred around the R rating - because Requiem has little else to offer.
Both of these franchises are beloved, but unfortunately, the bad films have really started to outweigh the good - and Requiem is a film made purely to make money. There's no diving into the lore behind any of the past films, and instead the story is set in a small Colorado town, full of actors that I kind of recognise from various TV shows - which is fitting, because the film plays out like an episode of Dawson's Creek, just with lots of Aliens running around.
The staple violence of both series is present once again, however, it feels like the constant Gore is being thrown at you to distract you from the threadbare plot.
The (singular) Predator looks pretty good, however the Aliens are mostly shrouded in shadow, I don't recall seeing a full body shot of a Xenomorph at any point, and the Predator-Alien hybrid, again, is never really shown properly, and what we do see looks silly.
It's a pretty shoddy movie all in all, and this particular mash up is probably best left to books and graphic novels.
Both of these franchises are beloved, but unfortunately, the bad films have really started to outweigh the good - and Requiem is a film made purely to make money. There's no diving into the lore behind any of the past films, and instead the story is set in a small Colorado town, full of actors that I kind of recognise from various TV shows - which is fitting, because the film plays out like an episode of Dawson's Creek, just with lots of Aliens running around.
The staple violence of both series is present once again, however, it feels like the constant Gore is being thrown at you to distract you from the threadbare plot.
The (singular) Predator looks pretty good, however the Aliens are mostly shrouded in shadow, I don't recall seeing a full body shot of a Xenomorph at any point, and the Predator-Alien hybrid, again, is never really shown properly, and what we do see looks silly.
It's a pretty shoddy movie all in all, and this particular mash up is probably best left to books and graphic novels.
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David McK (3425 KP) rated Murder on the Orient Express in Books
Dec 27, 2021
As a general rule, I'm not really big into murder mystery whodunnits, generally finding them boring, (sometimes) obvious and just, well, generally a little bit stale.
That may be why I'd never read perhaps Agatha Christie's most famous murder story before, or even had any interest in which any of the (numerous) films, TV series or plays based around the same.
Which is a long way of saying that I came into this 'cold', as it were, knowing little beyond the fact that it was a Hercule Poirot mystery (thanks to the 2017 Kenneth Branagh movie, which I hadn't seen), and that the murder was on a train (d'uh!) just as it ran into snow whilst on a journey.
Now that I've read it, I have to say: I found little to cause me to revise my opinion of murder mysteries in general.
That's not to say that it is bad, per se, just that it never really hooked me all that much: indeed, at times it felt more like a chore to read than something enjoyable. Indeed, I'm sorry to say, the reveal of just who carried out the crime also completely failed to elicit any form of surprise or emotion at all from me: not that I saw it coming but just that, well, it almost felt like a relief when it did.
All I can say is: sorry, any Poirot fans!
That may be why I'd never read perhaps Agatha Christie's most famous murder story before, or even had any interest in which any of the (numerous) films, TV series or plays based around the same.
Which is a long way of saying that I came into this 'cold', as it were, knowing little beyond the fact that it was a Hercule Poirot mystery (thanks to the 2017 Kenneth Branagh movie, which I hadn't seen), and that the murder was on a train (d'uh!) just as it ran into snow whilst on a journey.
Now that I've read it, I have to say: I found little to cause me to revise my opinion of murder mysteries in general.
That's not to say that it is bad, per se, just that it never really hooked me all that much: indeed, at times it felt more like a chore to read than something enjoyable. Indeed, I'm sorry to say, the reveal of just who carried out the crime also completely failed to elicit any form of surprise or emotion at all from me: not that I saw it coming but just that, well, it almost felt like a relief when it did.
All I can say is: sorry, any Poirot fans!
LeftSideCut (3778 KP) rated Jackass Forever (2022) in Movies
Feb 16, 2022
I remember Jackass when it first aired back in 2000. It was dumb, it was shocking, but most importantly, it took no time at all to get on board with the cast. The chemistry and bonds between Johnny Knoxville and co were immediately infectious, and everytime they put out a movie, it feels like a reunion with a bunch of old friends. Jackass Forever is the same in that respect, but it also relates to the only issue I had - I didn't feel overly fussed when it was initially announced that Bam Margera wasn't involved this time around, but now that JF is here, his absence is notable. This, coupled with a whole bunch of new faces, (presumably so the TV series can be relaunched in the near future with a new cast) makes for an unfamiliar Jackass experience. Well, kind of. Everything else is business as usual, and it's pretty glorious.
The opening scene is one of the most absurd skits that they've ever come up with, and the closing scene is a masterpiece of escalating chaos. Everything in between is the usual mix of silliness that we've come to know and love, and it feels like a warm hug, drenched in 15 gallons of pig jizz.
In short, if you're going to see Jackass Forever, chances are that you're already and established viewer, and as such, will most likely love it as I did. Long live Jackass.
The opening scene is one of the most absurd skits that they've ever come up with, and the closing scene is a masterpiece of escalating chaos. Everything in between is the usual mix of silliness that we've come to know and love, and it feels like a warm hug, drenched in 15 gallons of pig jizz.
In short, if you're going to see Jackass Forever, chances are that you're already and established viewer, and as such, will most likely love it as I did. Long live Jackass.
5 Minute Movie Guy (379 KP) rated 22 Jump Street (2014) in Movies
Jun 26, 2019 (Updated Jun 29, 2019)
22 Jump Street is ingeniously self-aware. (3 more)
It's a fun film with lots of laughs and good action.
Channing Tatum and Ice Cube are both hilarious.
It ends with an unforgettably awesome credits sequence.
22 Jump Street may be a familiar foray, but this summer bromance still manages to be loads of fun and is without a doubt one of the funniest movies of the year.
Officers Schmidt and Jenko are back again for the biggest bromance of the summer. Previously on the film 21 Jump Street, this pair of police officers went undercover, disguised as high school students, to stop the spread of a new drug that was being distributed throughout the campus. Their mission was a success, and now the buddy cop duo returns with a new assignment – or actually the same assignment – but this time they’re going to college! 22 Jump Street has essentially the same exact premise as its predecessor and shamelessly spares no expense in letting you know it. It’s a running joke throughout the film with characters blatantly reminding you of the similarities. It may be a familiar foray, but 22 Jump Street still manages to be loads of fun and is without a doubt one of the funniest movies of the year.
One of the strengths of 22 Jump Street is that it never takes itself too seriously. Right off the bat, it sarcastically sets the stage through a cheesy and overly-dramatic recap of the first film that feels like it’s straight out of a ‘90s TV series. The movie continues to poke fun at itself every step of the way, reminding you that the creators are very much in on the joke. Rather than coming off as a lazy rehash, 22 Jump Street’s self-awareness makes it feel fresh and inviting. The whole movie plays out like a fourth-wall-breaking inside-joke between the actors and the audience. It openly acknowledges that it’s silly and redundant, but in doing so, it encourages us to put that aside and just sit back and have a good time. All in all, I most certainly did have a good time, and 22 Jump Street ended up being far more funny and enjoyable than I ever expected.
As much as I liked the movie, I have to say that it’s awfully heavy on the bromance. Many of the jokes revolve around the relationship between Jonah Hill’s Schmidt and Channing Tatum’s Jenko, and it gets to be pretty excessive and overdone. While Schmidt struggles to fit in at college, Jenko is accepted with open arms and quickly befriends the star quarterback Zook, played by Wyatt Russell, who recruits him to join the university football team. This puts a serious strain on Schmidt and Jenko’s friendship, and the film revels in their troubled relationship, portraying them like a bickering couple. The problem, however, is that it continuously stresses this bromance to the point where it becomes more awkward than funny. Additionally, as Schmidt feels more and more out of place without Jenko, I think Jonah Hill similarly falls more and more out of place in this film.
Jonah Hill and Channing Tatum make for an adequate comedic pair, however I find that Hill struggles in scenes without his co-star. While I respect Hill as an actor, it’s Tatum that truly carries the film, further establishing himself as a Hollywood star. He’s not only the funnier of the two, but he’s also highly entertaining and a perfect fit for an action star. He’s a natural in the movie’s comical action sequences, which include car chases, shootouts, and a well-choreographed fight scene on the beaches of Cancun. The movie drags on through Hill’s mopey solo scenes, only to be reinvigorated by Tatum’s humor and enthusiasm. Though the two of them play well together, I can’t help but feel like perhaps Hill should consider sticking to more dramatic roles.
While some of Hill’s attempts at humor fall flat, most of the comedy in the movie does work. Ice Cube is a stand-out in his return as police captain Dickson and his short temper creates some of the movie’s more memorable scenes. Meanwhile Tatum’s Jenko makes for a perfectly lovable and amusing airhead. The movie is chock-full of clever self-referential jokes and has an elaborate credits scene that expertly basks in its own egotism. 22 Jump Street is a movie that knows full well what it is and is proud of it.
22 Jump Street may be more of the same, but it’s completely content with that and wagers that you will be too. It’s a fun and comical adventure through college, and is coincidentally one of the best comedies of the year.
(This review was originally posted at 5mmg.com on 12.2.14.)
One of the strengths of 22 Jump Street is that it never takes itself too seriously. Right off the bat, it sarcastically sets the stage through a cheesy and overly-dramatic recap of the first film that feels like it’s straight out of a ‘90s TV series. The movie continues to poke fun at itself every step of the way, reminding you that the creators are very much in on the joke. Rather than coming off as a lazy rehash, 22 Jump Street’s self-awareness makes it feel fresh and inviting. The whole movie plays out like a fourth-wall-breaking inside-joke between the actors and the audience. It openly acknowledges that it’s silly and redundant, but in doing so, it encourages us to put that aside and just sit back and have a good time. All in all, I most certainly did have a good time, and 22 Jump Street ended up being far more funny and enjoyable than I ever expected.
As much as I liked the movie, I have to say that it’s awfully heavy on the bromance. Many of the jokes revolve around the relationship between Jonah Hill’s Schmidt and Channing Tatum’s Jenko, and it gets to be pretty excessive and overdone. While Schmidt struggles to fit in at college, Jenko is accepted with open arms and quickly befriends the star quarterback Zook, played by Wyatt Russell, who recruits him to join the university football team. This puts a serious strain on Schmidt and Jenko’s friendship, and the film revels in their troubled relationship, portraying them like a bickering couple. The problem, however, is that it continuously stresses this bromance to the point where it becomes more awkward than funny. Additionally, as Schmidt feels more and more out of place without Jenko, I think Jonah Hill similarly falls more and more out of place in this film.
Jonah Hill and Channing Tatum make for an adequate comedic pair, however I find that Hill struggles in scenes without his co-star. While I respect Hill as an actor, it’s Tatum that truly carries the film, further establishing himself as a Hollywood star. He’s not only the funnier of the two, but he’s also highly entertaining and a perfect fit for an action star. He’s a natural in the movie’s comical action sequences, which include car chases, shootouts, and a well-choreographed fight scene on the beaches of Cancun. The movie drags on through Hill’s mopey solo scenes, only to be reinvigorated by Tatum’s humor and enthusiasm. Though the two of them play well together, I can’t help but feel like perhaps Hill should consider sticking to more dramatic roles.
While some of Hill’s attempts at humor fall flat, most of the comedy in the movie does work. Ice Cube is a stand-out in his return as police captain Dickson and his short temper creates some of the movie’s more memorable scenes. Meanwhile Tatum’s Jenko makes for a perfectly lovable and amusing airhead. The movie is chock-full of clever self-referential jokes and has an elaborate credits scene that expertly basks in its own egotism. 22 Jump Street is a movie that knows full well what it is and is proud of it.
22 Jump Street may be more of the same, but it’s completely content with that and wagers that you will be too. It’s a fun and comical adventure through college, and is coincidentally one of the best comedies of the year.
(This review was originally posted at 5mmg.com on 12.2.14.)
Kevin Phillipson (10021 KP) Jul 19, 2020