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Crank (2006)
Crank (2006)
2006 | Action, Comedy, Mystery
6
7.1 (15 Ratings)
Movie Rating
Quick Pacing, Bad Movie
When a former hitman’s enemies inject him with a lethal poison that will stop his heart if it goes below an active rate, that hitman Chev Chelios is on a race to find the antidote while keeping his heart pumping at the same time.

Acting: 10
I could think of worse actors to play the role of Chev outside of Jason Statham. He seems like he was made for this type of movie. He brings a successful intensity to the role that kicks the movie into a new gear. Unfortunately it wasn’t enough to save the film as a whole. While other performances didn’t necessarily warrant a 10, Chev is pretty much the entire centerpiece so I’m basing the score off Statham’s performance alone.

Beginning: 10
I honestly didn’t hate how the movie began. It actually gets off to a pretty fast start only to let me down later. If only I knew what I was getting myself into.

Characters: 1

Cinematography/Visuals: 7
For what' it’s worth, the film does a good job of making you feel like you are in Chelios’ shoes. The camera relies on close up shots and jarring movement when Chelios has to “charge up”. The action is also captured fairly well, giving you a true sense of being in the moment.

Conflict: 10
Consistent action abounds throughout the movie. In addition to Chelios kicking much ass, there’s also the matter of him trying to keep his heart pumping while he finds the antidote. There is more than enough conflict to drive the story.

Entertainment Value: 6
While there are flashes of greatness in Crank, much of it is hyped up hyperbole so extreme it makes the movie really hard to get into. I lost count of the number of times I rolled my eyes throughout the movie. What did intrigue me throughout was just how much crazier the movie could potentially get.

Memorability: 4

Pace: 10

Plot: 0
What a dumbass story. That is all.

Resolution: 6
I give it props for an inventive ending. However, it wasn’t a successful resolution in my opinion. We followed Chelios on this entire journey for it to come to this? Nah, just…nah.

Overall: 64
You could tell this movie was going to be a mess from the trailer. Surprisingly enough it has a positive rating on Rotten Tomatoes and it seems to have a cult following. I really don’t get it, even as an action lover. It’s a pass for me.
  
This Nation's Saving Grace by The Fall
This Nation's Saving Grace by The Fall
1985 | Punk, Rock
8.7 (3 Ratings)
Album Favorite

"I saw him [The Fall's Mark E. Smith] at Shepherd's Bush last year playing the last album, and only playing new songs. It was absolutely brilliant. I just sat and watched him, he's a genuinely strange person. He doesn't fit into the stereotype of the arts school drop-out, or the working class cliché either. It's a strange place he occupies in between. Just seeing him march around the stage turning the amps down, it sounded absolutely brilliant. You can tell he's got the ability to know how to make things sound amazing in quite a simple way. I could have chosen any Fall album from that period, Wonderful & Frightening World or Bend Sinister or I Am Kurious Oranj, but I chose ...Saving Grace because it has a really personal meaning to me. I grew up with it, and when I was at Sixth Form College I really started listening to the Smiths and The Fall. I had to find out myself about The Fall. I remember reading about them somewhere and going down to the record shop and buying a Fall record blind. Listening back, it's got some nonsense on it, like all his records. It's not some perfect artefact, there's something very instinctive about it. I love the track 'Paintwork'. As soon as I heard the track I assumed it was autobiographical, it's about the way he messes the music up. I can imagine the musicians saying, 'It's Mark, messing up the paintwork', but what they don't get is that that's the beauty of it, that he is messing up the paintwork, and the track in itself is strangely autobiographical because suddenly someone presses a tape recorder in the middle. He was always a huge, huge influence for me, growing up and then in Suede. You can't actually hear it in Suede, but we were massive fans, Justine and I especially, we were obsessed. When Matt, Justine or I were just mucking around we wrote the song 'Implement Yeah!', which was a sort of comedy song about him. Then there was the Fall song 'Glam-Racket', which the NME or someone said was about us. Who knows what anyone's songs are about, let alone Mark E. Smith songs? I think it was a timing thing: it came out in 1993, and people just assumed it was a criticism of Suede. Mark E. Smith's too smart to write a criticism of anyone, apart from people he's been in a band with. A great artist utterly defines their own genre, and that's what Mark E. Smith's done. He's got a patent on that sound."

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