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Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales (2017)
Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales (2017)
2017 | Action, Adventure, Fantasy
Here we go again
I can’t be the only one surprised that the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise has managed to withstand five films. Created on a whim by Disney in 2003, the first film propelled Johnny Depp into the lives of movie fans like never before.

However, come 2017 and Depp’s star is sinking faster than the Black Pearl. After three pretty dreadful sequels, the cast reunites for Salazar’s Revenge. But does a change in directors herald a new and exciting path for the plucky pirates?

Thrust into an all-new adventure, a down-on-his-luck Captain Jack Sparrow (Depp) feels the winds of ill-fortune blowing strongly when ghost sailors led by his nemesis, evil Captain Salazar (Javier Bardem), escape from the Devil’s Triangle. Jack’s only hope lies in seeking out the legendary Trident of Poseidon, but to find it, he must forge an uneasy alliance with a brilliant and beautiful astronomer (Kaya Scodelario and a headstrong young man in the British navy (Brenton Thwaites).

Newcomer directors Joachim Rønning and Espen Sandberg craft a film that is magnificent to look at and stunning to listen to, but features all of the same problems as its predecessors. The time really is up on this franchise.

Of the cast, only Javier Bardem’s snarling Salazar makes any sort of lasting impact. In fact, he’s probably the best antagonist the series has ever had and makes for a menacing presence throughout. Depp looks like he’s on autopilot, almost as bored of Jack Sparrow’s drunken antics as we are, and the normally excellent Kaya Scodelario (Skins, Maze Runner) plays a particularly bland female lead during the films running time.

Speaking of which, at 142 minutes, this is one migraine inducing slog. All four previous films have suffered from being overstuffed, and with the extra abundance of characters this time around, it’s even more painful. There simply is no need to create a film that’s nearly two and a half hours long, especially considering the plot is as paint-by-numbers as you can get.

Nevertheless, to look at, Salazar’s Revenge really is breath-taking. The action is filmed confidently and the sets are fantastically detailed using some exceptional practical effects. There are ghost sharks, glistening islands and the motion capture used on Javier Bardem and his crew is seamless. Only the CGI-heavy finale lets the film down. The music is also sublime. Geoff Zanelli’s thunderous melody features the trademark theme-tune mixed with some really lovely orchestral music.

Overall, Pirates of the Caribbean: Salazar’s Revenge kicks off a summer season filled to the brim with sequels and after the previous film’s poor reception, expectation was almost as low as it is for Transformers: the Last Knight.

What we’ve ended up with is a bit of a double-edged sword then. It’s certainly better than the previous three sequels and almost up to the standard of the 2003 original; the problem is, that film wasn’t particularly good in the first place.


https://moviemetropolis.net/2017/05/26/here-we-go-again-pirates-of-the-caribbean-salazars-revenge-review/
  
Fantastic Four (2015)
Fantastic Four (2015)
2015 | Action
If you hold the film rights to an iconic and beloved comic book series, one would think you would do everything possible to see that it flourishes under you watch. For 29th Century Fox, The Fantastic Four is an asset that should be a gem of their studio as the long-running Marvel comic series has had legions of fans for generations.

The previous two films did well enough but still had their detractors amongst the fans. So, Fox opted for a hiatus and then a radical reboot of the series complete with casting choices that were considered very questionable.

The new version features Miles Teller as Reed Richards, a young man obsessed with teleportation to the point that his teachers and other students laugh at him for his odd and obsessive ways.

His only friend is Ben Grimm (Jamie Bell), who despite a lack of scientific knowledge supports Reed in his efforts which eventually allow him to be recruited by Dr. Franklin Storm (Reg E. Cathey), who discloses that he is working on a large scale teleportation device and seeing how Reed pulled it off with a device he made in his garage, is eager to see what he can do at a fully-funded facility.

Reed meets Franklins adopted daughter Sue (Kate Mara), as well as his son Johnny (Michael B. Jordan), while they work with the mercurial Victor Von Doom (Toby Kebbell), to complete the device.

When the team finds success, they are horrified to learn that the government plans to take over control of the project so Ben, Victor, Johnny, and Reed opt to use it themselves to visit the other dimension in order to leave their mark in history.

Things at first go well but when a mysterious force envelops them, odd things start to happen when they return home. Reed is capable of stretching himself, Johnny is a living fire, Ben is covered in rocks, and Sue is phasing in and out.

Flashing forward the group is under the watch of the government and Reed has fled not wanting to be a part of whatever is going on. Ben is used for special operations and blames Reed for abandoning them as Sue and Johnny are prepped for the field.

Now one would think a setup like this has some potential at the very least for some action and great FX. Sadly the film lurches ahead fairly light on action. The threat to the film appears, and within 10 minutes has moved to a fairly underwhelming final conflict that is so obviously done in front of a Green Screen that it loses much of the intended impact.

The best I can say for the film is that it is a forgettable and flawed film that tries to launch a new franchise in a new way. But the casting choices in the film are so wrong, that it undermines it at every step. Setting aside the debate over an African American Johnny Storm, Miles Teller is so bland; he just does not scream leading man or driving force behind the team.

The same can be said for pretty much the entire cast. The backstories hint at various things but their actions conflict several aspects of the film which to be honest are fairly forgettable.

The entire movie is like watching a Jr. College Fan Film where the cast has a Green Screen and studio funding, but not a clue on how to carry out a story, modern action sequences of character development.

Fox needs to take a serious page from Sony and work with Marvel if they are going to continue this franchise, or return the rights to Marvel so fans can finally get a film that does justice to the source material.

I am glad that Director Josh Trank is no longer associated with the pending Star Wars film as this movie is a train wreck that spits all over the history and legacy of the source material.

http://sknr.net/2015/08/07/the-fantastic-four/
  
Safe House (2012)
Safe House (2012)
2012 | Action, Mystery
6
5.9 (14 Ratings)
Movie Rating
In a complicated deadly game of international espionage things are rarely what they appear to be. Take the case of Matt Weston (Ryan Reynolds), a young man who, for all intents and purposes, appears to divide his time between his adoring French girlfriend (Nora Arnezeder) and a South African hospital. But if one were to pull back the curtain they would learn that Matt is actually a CIA agent who spends his time watching over a safe house, an assignment of painfully tedious monotony.

In the new action thriller “Safe House”, Reynolds eschews his typical charming, cocky, wisecracking on-screen personas to portray Matt as a mature young man with ambitions both inside and outside of his job. Matt longs to be assigned to a more glamorous position and is hopeful that when his 12 month tour in South Africa is up, a more exciting post awaits him in Paris. It doesn’t hurt that a Paris post will also allow him to be closer to his girlfriend when she returns to Europe in the near future. But his boss David Barlow (Brendan Gleason) isn’t as optimistic.

As his frustrations at the lack of mobility grows, Matt soon finds his quiet world torn asunder by the arrival of Tobin Frost (Denzel Washington). Frost is a former agent who went rogue and is considered an extremely dangerous and high-profile target. Having eluded the CIA for years, he only draws even more suspicion when he surrenders himself to a US consulate in South Africa. The CIA knows they have to act fast to determine what Frost knows, and quickly whisk him away to a safe house for intense interrogation. But the CIA aren’t the only ones who want to know Tobin’s secrets.

Although Matt is highly trained for his job running the safe house, he is very green when it comes to the reality of having to defend his domain against a surprise attack which leaves Tobin and Matt as the only survivors. Forced to flee and with nowhere to turn, Frost tries to convince Matt that they have been set up because someone in the agency does not want Frost to talk. At first skeptical, Matt is forced to step outside of his comfort zones and confront a deadly array of assassins as well as the threat posed by Frost himself and the unseen elements working against them. In a frantic race, Matt must keep Frost and himself alive as they attempt to reach safety and get to the truth behind the deadly game in which they’ve been cast.

Washington and Reynolds worked very well together and had a very natural, unforced chemistry. It was very nice to see Reynolds take on a grittier and more intense role than we have seen from him previously. Washington is a true artist at playing taciturn and wiley, and no one else can portray the pain and shock of being shot as subtly or as convincingly as Washington with just a simple change of expression.

That being said, the film had a number of issues. First and foremost, plot holes that you could drive a truck through and gaps in logic that really require the audience to take some serious leaps of faith. While there was some intense action, it was difficult to appreciate when it looked like the camera was being kicked around the floor during fight scenes, giving the film a very jerky quality. The film also suffered from some pacing issues with parts of the movie dragging as it worked toward an extremely predictable conclusion, one that I figured out very early into the film. There is some fine supporting work in the movie, particularly that of Gleeson and Arnezeder, as well as Ruben Blades as an old cohort of Frost’s, but it is not enough to help the film live up to its intriguing premise.
  
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Charlie Cobra Reviews (1840 KP) rated I Am a Hero (2015) in Movies

Jul 7, 2020 (Updated Oct 29, 2020)  
I Am a Hero (2015)
I Am a Hero (2015)
2015 | Action, Horror
8
7.7 (3 Ratings)
Movie Rating
The Hero's Journey In The Zombie Apocalypse Is As Serious As It Is Funny
Contains spoilers, click to show
I have to say that this movie is one of the best zombie movies I've seen lately. From the beginning I like the way that the main character Hideo has these little moments where he zones out and has these little fantasies where he imagines himself as being more outgoing or heroic. Even if its just something small like the first one where he's at work and get's everyone cheering about being proud to work there when in reality he was just muttering to himself quietly. I really like how he's this kind of everyday regular guy who's just kind of down on his luck doubting himself. He's not where he thought he would be career wise which is hindering his relationship with his girlfriend and his co-workers. His girlfriend even kicks him out because of this and throws out some of his stuff. He really has bad luck because as he tries to make up for the fight with his girlfriend Tekko, he goes back to the apartment to find out that she has been infected by the ZQN virus and she attacks him and nearly infects him too. The ZQN's were pretty cool by the way. At first I thought that the whole cross-eyed look to them looked a little too silly but as it became a signature visualization that marked when someone had become a zombie. When his girlfriend turned it was quite horrifying as she contorted all over the place and did everything in her power to try and eat him. She even bit the door so violently she broke off all of her teeth, which was quite lucky for Hideo because when she bit him she didn't break the skin infecting him. The scene when he is running through the city and everything is in chaos was one of the more memorable scenes for me because so much was going on. There were ZQN's and regular people running all over the place in all directions and cars hitting people, but the car scene with the business man, the school girl Hiromi, and the taxi driver was spectacular. In fact one of the coolest things I've seen in a zombie movie is the school girl Hiromi who becomes a abnormal ZQN. She says that she was bit by a baby who was probably infected from breast milk if the mother was a ZQN. She didn't exhibit any symptoms for like 2 days and when she turns she doesn't attack Hideo but instead saves him by killing a ZQN that was trying to kill him. She has one eye that looks like a ZQN and has crazy superhuman strength but for some reason sleeps a lot. Most of the time in these survival zombie movies the story suffers from a lack of plot structure but a news report stating that the virus can't sustain itself at higher elevations make traveling to Mt. Fuji a destination propelling the plot further in a direction that makes sense. I also like how they used foreshadowing in certain scenes like when he finds a shopping basket with a logo of a marketplace, you can tell that place is more than likely the next destination. I also thought it was pretty cool how Hiromi wasn't the only abnormal and there was a weird "grudge" spider walking girl and then the infamous track star zombie with the crushed head. That one ran super fast and jumped really high and was pretty cool. One of the things I kind of didn't like was that Hideo had a gun for a lot of the movie but never even shot it until close to the end but it did go with the characters personality and make the story more interesting. It's just a little hard to believe. Also why weren't there anybody using any samurais swords on the zombies. I mean with the ZQN's being hard to kill because you need to destroy the whole brain, cutting their heads off would have been really efficient and machetes or swords would have been perfect. And just because it's Japan, I don't expect there to be swords everywhere but I'm surprised there wasn't even one. This movie was just so unexpectedly good it's hard for me to nitpick at things with it and I'm sure there's more that bothered me with it but I really enjoyed and liked this movie. I give this movie a 8/10 and my "Must See Seal of Approval"


  
Superman Returns (2006)
Superman Returns (2006)
2006 | Action, Drama, Sci-Fi
It has been nearly twenty years since Superman graced the silver screen. This fact is outstanding when you consider that numerous attempts to revive the franchise and two successful television series have occurred in the nearly two decades since 1987’s “Superman IV: The Quest for Peace”.

Amidst much speculation and rumors of a soaring budget that is reported to be over $250 Million, Superman Returns has arrived.

Under the direction of Bryan Singer, who successfully launched the first two films in the “X-Men” series, Brandon Routh dons the tights and capes of the late Christopher Reeve, as the man of steel and his mild mannered alter ego Clark Kent.

As the films opens, it is explained that Superman has been gone five years as he has traveled to what astronomers believe are the remains of his home planet Krypton which was destroyed when he was an infant.

Soon after his return, Clark visits his adopted mother in his hometown of Smallville before returning to Metropolis and his job at the Daily Planet. His happy homecoming is short-lived when Clark realizes that his beloved Lois Lane (Kate Bosworth) is now a single mom with a fiancée named Richard (James Marsden).

As if this is not enough, Superman is shortly thereafter called into action to save Lois and the passengers of a plane and space shuttle encounter a deadly situation when a press conference goes awry.

In a spectacle of action and visual brilliance Superman not only saves the day, but makes a highly visible and triumphant return that signals to the world that he is back.

As happy as the majority of the world is to have their champion back, Lois is very conflicted about his return. She believes he abandoned humanity and left her without even saying goodbye. Such is the extent of Lois’s anger toward Superman; she has written a story entitled “Why the World Doesn’t Need Superman” for which she was awarded a Pulitzer Prize.

As upset as Lois is about the return of Superman, there is one individual who is seething mad over his return and that is Lex Luthor (Kevin Spacey) who plans to use his recently acquired wealth to hatch his latest plot and end the threat of Superman once and for all.

Lex plans to use the crystals and knowledge he has pilfered from Superman’s arctic Fortress of Solitude to craft a new landmass, where he will rule supreme. The fact that billions of innocents will be killed in the process is of no consequence to the power mad Luthor, setting the stage for several high tech action sequences and daring adventures as Superman sets out to save the day.

Despite numerous concerns I had over the film, I am happy to say that the series is in great hands, and the combination of Spacey, Bosworth, Routh, and Singer have not only produced the best film of Summer 2006, but have paved the way for what looks to be a series of films that, while true to the source materials, is not afraid to push the envelope to modernize Superman.

Routh was solid, not only looked the part perfectly, but handled the dual roles of Clark and Superman with and easygoing charm and manner that is highly effective. His ability to portray Superman as a being with deep emotions as well as power is key to the film as the audience is given a chance to see more than just the man with the muscles. Bosworth is also to be commended for her portrayal of a strong and capable Lois who is anything but the stock damsel in distress. The chemistry between Routh and Bosworth is good which is vital, as this is much more than effects and action.

The humanity and compassion that drives the film is an unexpected bonus. Despite the amazing action sequences, this is a story with deep emotional and psychological themes that are rarely seen in films of this nature.

If I had to find fault in the film, it would be that Spacey was not allowed to really let Lex be truly evil. Sure he talks a good fight, and in a few sequences is not above getting his hands dirty. But, for a film as grand as this, the diabolic plot Luthor is trying to hatch just does not seem diabolic enough.

One could also say that at a running time of nearly two hours and forty minutes that perhaps 20 minutes or so could have been trimmed towards the end to help the pacing of the final segments of the film.

That being said, the impressive mix of action, humor, romance, and cast gives Superman Returns a highly winning formula.
  
Saga of the Swamp Thing Vol. 1 (Swamp Thing, #1)
Saga of the Swamp Thing Vol. 1 (Swamp Thing, #1)
Alan Moore | 1983 | Comics & Graphic Novels
8
8.0 (1 Ratings)
Book Rating
Early last year, I made the conversion to digital, selling off all my physical issues. There were a number of them that I had not read since the day that first came out, selling them in a mylar sleeve with a backing board. Alan Moore's SAGA OF THE SWAMP THING run was one of those series, and it was also one of the ones that I missed dearly. When Comixology announced that Vertigo sale juust before 2017 ended, i was on it, buying all 5 volumes!

I could have "gobbled" this first volume up in a NY minute; however, like a fine wine, I opted to savor each issue, pacing myself, allowing it all to sink in. I recall reading through this issues fast when they came out (this was when you could still buy comics at 7-11), running through them like a chainsaw through butter. Thankfully, I have learned to appreciate the benefits of savoring.

So, was it as good as I remembered? Nope, BETTER! The early 1980s (the first issue of his run, #20, came out in 1984) was probably some of Moore's best writing! There were no preconceived expectations when you saw his name. Sure, you had an inkling that it would likely be good, but nowhere near the level of expectations that the current comic readers have come to expect.

Prior to his assuming the writer's chair for the series, the main character was thought to still be Alec Holland. However (and this is not a spoiler at this point), as we would learn, Dr. Holland did indeed perish when his lab in the swamp was the victim of sabotage. What was left was as far from human as a chair. Swamp Thing, for all intents and purposes, was vegetable, not mammal as previously thought.

That's learned within the first issue. From there, the ride gets wild with suspense and fear, with some decidely creepy art and concepts thrown in. Essentially, a recipe for WIN!

Oh, before I close this review, I would also like to give some love to the artwork inside. Steve Bissette, followed by John Tottleben, turned in some of the most amazing art. Their attention to detail, left the series feeling creepy yet movie-like, almost as if Sam Raimi were in the director's chair! The artwork was further jazzed up by the always-exceptional coloring of Tatjiana Wood, wife of the artist Wally Wood.

Sure, there's probably other horror-related tpbs you could be reading/considering reading, but you won't find another like this one! Even Marvel's Man-Thing (which I still love; call it my "guilty pleasure") wasn't THIS good! So, enough jibber-jabbering, go pick it up already!
  
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Daniel Boyd (1066 KP) rated Joker (2019) in Movies

Oct 8, 2019 (Updated Oct 8, 2019)  
Joker (2019)
Joker (2019)
2019 | Crime, Drama
Hmm...
A couple of years ago Joaquin Phoenix starred in a movie called You Were Never Really Here. It was directed by Lynne Ramsay and from the trailers looked like it could be something pretty great. Unfortunately when I saw the movie, I felt that it was nothing more than a poor man's Taxi Driver, with the same regurgitated ideas and not much more to say.

Then I saw 2019's Joker.

Let's forget about the incredibly engaging performances and solid technical filmmaking elements in this movie for a minute. And let's forget all of the baggage and background lore that comes with the huge pop culture characters of the Joker, the Wayne family and Gotham City.

Instead, ask yourself this; if this you removed all of the DC elements from this movie, for example Gotham is just NYC, Thomas Wayne is just a rich powerful man running for office and Arthur Fleck is just a random loner with a screw loose, would this movie be remarkable in any way?

Like, overall I enjoyed this movie, but I enjoyed it because it was a version of my favourite fictional character that I hadn't seen before, but it wasn't a story that I haven't seen before outside of a Joker story. I liked the movie because it reminded me HEAVILY of Taxi Driver, which is one of my favourite movies of all time, but I still prefer Taxi Driver.

I can't give the movie a bad review because it was clearly well made by a bunch of very talented people and I did enjoy my time with it, but after reading the intensely positive reviews this thing got at the film festivals I was looking for something more than a story I have seen before done better decades ago.

At the same time though, I am definitely going to need a second viewing. I have hardly stopped thinking and talking about the movie since I seen it and it has led to me writing my first review on this website in 5 months, so there is something to be said about that element of it.

My rating may change after a second viewing, but for now this is an enjoyable retread of a story we have seen before told several times over. Just because you throw a popular comic book character's name over the top of it, is that enough to make it more worthwhile than all of the other Taxi Driver homages we have gotten over the years?
  
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Lee (2222 KP) Oct 9, 2019

I haven't stopped thinking about this since I saw it either, and I love it when a movie does that to me

Phineas and Ferb the Movie: Candace Against the Universe (2020)
Phineas and Ferb the Movie: Candace Against the Universe (2020)
2020 | Adventure, Animation, Comedy
Like being back with old friends....
Tenet? I’m sorry, no, THIS was actually the biggest movie release of last week. Well, it is when you’re currently having to isolate at home and cannot go to the cinema for a few weeks. Despite that, I was actually way more excited for this to hit Disney+ this morning than a man my age probably should have been, and I have been for sometime, since it was first announced. I even managed to convince my daughter to get up early and watch with me, recreating those wonderful days when we both used to get up bright and early on a Saturday morning and sit and watch back to back episodes.

For the uninitiated, Phineas and Ferb are two step-brothers who spend their summer holiday coming up with highly elaborate ways to occupy every day, usually resulting in some wacky adventures and an extremely frustrated sister, Candace. Candace is forever trying to bust the boys and get their mum to catch them in the act, only to fail every time as some last second incident conveniently erases any evidence. Oh, and they also have a pet platypus called Perry, who without their knowledge works as an agent for a secret animal organisation, trying each episode to thwart the latest evil scheme hatched by Dr Doofenshmirtz. It’s very funny, features some incredibly catchy songs, and is just an extremely well written show for both kids and adults to enjoy. Running for four seasons, and racking up over 200 episodes before ending in 2015, the show also spawned a number of crossover specials involving Marvel and Star Wars.

Candace against the universe is the second feature length Phineas and Ferb movie and opens with Candace, lamenting the sad fact that no matter what she does, she never manages to successfully bust her brothers. All of this is delivered in the form of a song, and acts as a nostalgic reminder of some of the crazy inventions and adventures the boys have been involved in over the course of the series. The song ends with another perfect chance for Candace to bust the boys, who are currently enjoying themselves with their friends in the back garden. But of course, she fails. After heading out to the front of the house, and meeting up with friend Vanessa, she spots an alien spaceship. Believing her brothers to be behind it somehow, she and Vanessa are sucked up inside, before taking off and shooting up into the sky.

The boys see Candace flying away in the ship, and after photographing the alien license plate, are able to quickly identify where she’s headed (as you do…). They round up the gang and quickly rustle up a portal in their back garden (as you do…), in order to jump to the planet where Candace is being taken. The portal takes them via Doofenshmirtz Evil Inc, where they pick up Heinz Doofenshmirtz and Perry the Platypus (unknowingly), before heading off in a spaceship of their own. When they do catch up with Candace, they discover that she is being hailed as ‘the chosen one’ by the alien race that captured her. But does the queen of the planet have a more sinister reason for bringing Candace all this way?

It’s fair to say that, unless you’re already a fan of the show, you’re unlikely to have any interest whatsoever in watching Candace Against the Universe. For fans of the show though, this is a wonderful trip down memory lane, unless you’ve already spent all of lockdown recently catching up on all of the episodes on Disney+, and it feels so good to be back in the company of such wonderful characters. There’s a lot of comfort to be had from the running gags and themes of the episode format of the show, and the only thing I found with this movie, and the crossover shows, is that they end up feeling like a dragged out episode at times, tending to sag a little around the middle.

It’s a very minor complaint though. The songs are as good as ever, including a song from Doofenshmirtz about ‘adulting’, and the humour is still smart and on point, although Buford does tend to get some of the funnier lines in my opinion. And when Buford gets ridiculed for bringing a canoe with him on their trip to the alien planet, and Doofenshmirtz gets laughed at for inventing something as stupid as a “Chicken Replace-inator” – basically a gun which swaps whatever you fire at with the nearest chicken – you just know they’re working on delivering us some great gags later on throughout the movie. And obviously, Perry the Platypus gets to save the day as usual, and without anyone even realising it. It’s like being back in the company of old friends. Fingers crossed that this isn’t the last we see of Phineas, Ferb and the gang.