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Purple Phoenix Games (2266 KP) rated Fantastiqa in Tabletop Games
Jul 30, 2021
Ahh yes, Fantastiqa. Another to add to the list of, “I once owned, then I got rid of it, then missed it so much I had to reacquire it.” My wife loves when I do that… In any case, Fantastiqa gives players a very strange slant on deck building adventure games. Some would say the theme and its implementation will make or break it for players. Upon which side of the line do we fall?
Fantastiqa is a fantasy rock-paper-scissors style deck building adventure game. Now each of those mechanics individually can make for a wonderful children’s game. Looking upon the art in Fantastiqa will also nudge players towards that of a children’s game. Alas, Fantastiqa is not a children’s game and players will be scratching their heads for multiple reasons whilst playing it.
To setup, follow the instructions of the rulebook. There are just too many to list and explain here. Once setup, the game should look something like the photo above. Each player will have their draw decks identical to those of their opponents, and the play area is essentially a map of six locations with a statue at each location and decks of cards from which players will be drawing on their turns.
A typical turn will allow players to complete one of three different actions: Go Adventuring (where players will be using cards from their decks to subdue and recruit creatures between locations), Visit a Statue (where players can draw cards from the different decks for Beast, Artifact, and Quest cards to add to their discard piles, or pay gems to exile cards from their hands out of the game, or even pay gems to teleport to the matching statue on the other side of the board), or Complete a Quest (by discarding their appropriate cards that fulfill the quest requirements).
Turns can be very quick, or long and drawn out as players carefully choose which tactics to apply to the board on the table, while weighing the need for more powerful cards in their decks, and keeping up with the Joneses as they compete for VP on Quest cards. This is a deck builder, after all, so improving one’s deck is always the first consideration, but should a player oust those dang tea-drinking lazy dragon cards, or attempt to commit cards to a quest? The choices are quite numerous as play continues, and players realize that, again, this is no child’s game. Play continues in this fashion of players taking turns completing actions and quests until one player gains enough VP through completed quests to win the game.
Components. Every component in Fantastiqa is Fantastiq! I feel like the entire game is linen-finished, save for the little plastic gems and large statueeples. This game feels quite deluxe, and that will always be a big stamp of approval from me. One thing that can jar some players is the choice of art used between the player placards, card art, token art, and other components. They certainly don’t match at all, but I believe this tracks with the quirky nature of the theme and game overall, so I quite enjoy it. I can indeed understand why some would be opposed, but that is not how I feel at all.
I kinda bled into my final thoughts there, but I do love Fantastiqa. The theme is super weird: players answer a Help Wanted ad and long story short they meet a crazy old man who gives them a rucksack full of ordinary items: toothbrush, helmet, bat, and a dog. The dog runs away across the street and players find themselves in another world where these ordinary items are now transformed into magic wands, rams (the animals), clubs, and a dog, among other items. Players I have played with cannot accept that a spatula is a sword in the game and that just breaks immersion for them. I quite like it and the game’s wacky theme.
But the gameplay itself is also quite engaging. Traveling all over this new world subduing (and subsequently recruiting to your cause) Knights with spatulae and Giant Spiders with cat’s teeth is interesting and a fresh way to incorporate a theme into a deck builder as opposed to simply generating purchasing power and buying the cards that are wanted. The statue interactions are great ways to build up your deck as well, and keeping an eye on what quests others are gunning for as well as their personal hidden quests adds a bit of race-game feeling that some other deck builders lack. I can’t say enough great things about Fantastiqa, but completely understand how the theme may break the game for others’ enjoyment. That said, Purple Phoenix Games give this one a well-traveled 10 / 12. It’s weird, I’ll give you that, but it’s a good kind of weird. Check it out.
Fantastiqa is a fantasy rock-paper-scissors style deck building adventure game. Now each of those mechanics individually can make for a wonderful children’s game. Looking upon the art in Fantastiqa will also nudge players towards that of a children’s game. Alas, Fantastiqa is not a children’s game and players will be scratching their heads for multiple reasons whilst playing it.
To setup, follow the instructions of the rulebook. There are just too many to list and explain here. Once setup, the game should look something like the photo above. Each player will have their draw decks identical to those of their opponents, and the play area is essentially a map of six locations with a statue at each location and decks of cards from which players will be drawing on their turns.
A typical turn will allow players to complete one of three different actions: Go Adventuring (where players will be using cards from their decks to subdue and recruit creatures between locations), Visit a Statue (where players can draw cards from the different decks for Beast, Artifact, and Quest cards to add to their discard piles, or pay gems to exile cards from their hands out of the game, or even pay gems to teleport to the matching statue on the other side of the board), or Complete a Quest (by discarding their appropriate cards that fulfill the quest requirements).
Turns can be very quick, or long and drawn out as players carefully choose which tactics to apply to the board on the table, while weighing the need for more powerful cards in their decks, and keeping up with the Joneses as they compete for VP on Quest cards. This is a deck builder, after all, so improving one’s deck is always the first consideration, but should a player oust those dang tea-drinking lazy dragon cards, or attempt to commit cards to a quest? The choices are quite numerous as play continues, and players realize that, again, this is no child’s game. Play continues in this fashion of players taking turns completing actions and quests until one player gains enough VP through completed quests to win the game.
Components. Every component in Fantastiqa is Fantastiq! I feel like the entire game is linen-finished, save for the little plastic gems and large statueeples. This game feels quite deluxe, and that will always be a big stamp of approval from me. One thing that can jar some players is the choice of art used between the player placards, card art, token art, and other components. They certainly don’t match at all, but I believe this tracks with the quirky nature of the theme and game overall, so I quite enjoy it. I can indeed understand why some would be opposed, but that is not how I feel at all.
I kinda bled into my final thoughts there, but I do love Fantastiqa. The theme is super weird: players answer a Help Wanted ad and long story short they meet a crazy old man who gives them a rucksack full of ordinary items: toothbrush, helmet, bat, and a dog. The dog runs away across the street and players find themselves in another world where these ordinary items are now transformed into magic wands, rams (the animals), clubs, and a dog, among other items. Players I have played with cannot accept that a spatula is a sword in the game and that just breaks immersion for them. I quite like it and the game’s wacky theme.
But the gameplay itself is also quite engaging. Traveling all over this new world subduing (and subsequently recruiting to your cause) Knights with spatulae and Giant Spiders with cat’s teeth is interesting and a fresh way to incorporate a theme into a deck builder as opposed to simply generating purchasing power and buying the cards that are wanted. The statue interactions are great ways to build up your deck as well, and keeping an eye on what quests others are gunning for as well as their personal hidden quests adds a bit of race-game feeling that some other deck builders lack. I can’t say enough great things about Fantastiqa, but completely understand how the theme may break the game for others’ enjoyment. That said, Purple Phoenix Games give this one a well-traveled 10 / 12. It’s weird, I’ll give you that, but it’s a good kind of weird. Check it out.
Lottie disney bookworm (1056 KP) rated Go the Distance: A Twisted Tale in Books
Jun 17, 2021
What if Meg had to become a Greek God?
Following on immediately from the end of the much loved Hercules film, Jen Calonita is back with a twisted tale starring our favourite D.I.D: Damsel in Distress.
Now, I LOVE sarcasm and sass so Meg has always been a firm favourite of mine. I was thrilled when I heard she would finally be getting her own story and did Calonita disappoint? No she did not!
Go The Distance is told entirely from Meg’s point of view: immersing the reader immediately in her thoughts and feelings whilst ascending to Mount Olympus with Hercules. I loved how in tune Jen Calonita was with her protagonist, right from the first few pages: there is literally SO much pomp and circumstance surrounding Meg, she is stood on a cloud for goodness sake! But does that stop her doubting herself? Doubting the budding relationship with Herc? Not a chance!
It will come as no surprise to regular readers of twisted tale novels that Calonita quickly tanks our hopes of a happy ending (makes sense- we’re only in the first few pages) as Zeus refuses Hercules’ request to be with Meg on Earth: the lightning-wielding god and his wife have waited too long for their son to re-join them, to lose him this easily. However, Hera can see how happy this mortal makes her son and so makes Meg a once-in-a-lifetime offer, complete a hero’s quest in 10 days and stay with Herc on Mount Olympus as a god for eternity.
Obviously Meg accepts- it would be a short story if she passed this opportunity up- and embarks upon an adventure like no other. As well as having to navigate the underworld, negotiate with Hades and face her ex, Meg battles monsters, befriends Gods and learns her most important lesson: that love is a strength, not a weakness.
Joining Meg on her journey are characters we know and love, such as Phil, Pegasus and Hades. It would be so easy for Jen Calonita to play it safe with these iconic characters but I am pleased to say that these guys get their own little developments too: particularly Hades as we see the character of Persephone and her impact upon his life.
Calonita also introduces us to a host of new characters, two of which are pivotal to both the reader understanding how key events in her life have created this tough armour that Meg wears so well. These are Thea, Meg’s mother and Aegeus, the man who Meg gave up her soul for. Aegeus is a bit wet in my opinion (he’s no Wonder Boy!) but the relationship Calonita creates between Meg and Thea is something precious: the reader can see the struggles faced by both women and can immediately identify where Meg got her fiery nature from.
But of course our heroine is the one who shines in this twisted tale: Meg was already a brilliant character but Calonita opens her up a little bit more and manages to break down some of her walls: along her quest Meg almost embraces her vulnerability, she learns to trust and learns that it is not a weakness to ask for and accept help. After that her quest seems to become easier- which is saying a lot in the underworld!
I also really admired that Meg doesn’t go weak at the knees at the prospect of spending eternity with Hercules, in fact she isn’t sure she wants eternity, she just wants the chance to find out! This made the underlying love story real rather than fairytale. Herc and Meg argue, they say things they regret but ultimately, they show up for each other and that’s what is important in the end.
I have seen other reviewers slating the character of Meg, saying that she is too rash and hot-headed in this twisted tale and bears little resemblance to the animated character we love. I have to say I completely disagree with these views: yes, as her quest nears its deadline then Meg becomes increasingly rash but hello, the girl gave up her soul to Hades! You can’t tell me she doesn’t have previous form for diving head-first into a situation?!
Go The Distance is an adorable novel about embracing your vulnerability and trusting those who want to help you. It teaches us that independence does not necessarily mean facing everything alone, love does not necessarily come from one stand-out moment and that it is never too late to forgive. This twisted tale is not as dark as other retellings in the series but Jen Calonita is an expert in middle-grade literature and so this is not a surprise nor a criticism.
“Two thumbs, way way up for our leading lady!”
Following on immediately from the end of the much loved Hercules film, Jen Calonita is back with a twisted tale starring our favourite D.I.D: Damsel in Distress.
Now, I LOVE sarcasm and sass so Meg has always been a firm favourite of mine. I was thrilled when I heard she would finally be getting her own story and did Calonita disappoint? No she did not!
Go The Distance is told entirely from Meg’s point of view: immersing the reader immediately in her thoughts and feelings whilst ascending to Mount Olympus with Hercules. I loved how in tune Jen Calonita was with her protagonist, right from the first few pages: there is literally SO much pomp and circumstance surrounding Meg, she is stood on a cloud for goodness sake! But does that stop her doubting herself? Doubting the budding relationship with Herc? Not a chance!
It will come as no surprise to regular readers of twisted tale novels that Calonita quickly tanks our hopes of a happy ending (makes sense- we’re only in the first few pages) as Zeus refuses Hercules’ request to be with Meg on Earth: the lightning-wielding god and his wife have waited too long for their son to re-join them, to lose him this easily. However, Hera can see how happy this mortal makes her son and so makes Meg a once-in-a-lifetime offer, complete a hero’s quest in 10 days and stay with Herc on Mount Olympus as a god for eternity.
Obviously Meg accepts- it would be a short story if she passed this opportunity up- and embarks upon an adventure like no other. As well as having to navigate the underworld, negotiate with Hades and face her ex, Meg battles monsters, befriends Gods and learns her most important lesson: that love is a strength, not a weakness.
Joining Meg on her journey are characters we know and love, such as Phil, Pegasus and Hades. It would be so easy for Jen Calonita to play it safe with these iconic characters but I am pleased to say that these guys get their own little developments too: particularly Hades as we see the character of Persephone and her impact upon his life.
Calonita also introduces us to a host of new characters, two of which are pivotal to both the reader understanding how key events in her life have created this tough armour that Meg wears so well. These are Thea, Meg’s mother and Aegeus, the man who Meg gave up her soul for. Aegeus is a bit wet in my opinion (he’s no Wonder Boy!) but the relationship Calonita creates between Meg and Thea is something precious: the reader can see the struggles faced by both women and can immediately identify where Meg got her fiery nature from.
But of course our heroine is the one who shines in this twisted tale: Meg was already a brilliant character but Calonita opens her up a little bit more and manages to break down some of her walls: along her quest Meg almost embraces her vulnerability, she learns to trust and learns that it is not a weakness to ask for and accept help. After that her quest seems to become easier- which is saying a lot in the underworld!
I also really admired that Meg doesn’t go weak at the knees at the prospect of spending eternity with Hercules, in fact she isn’t sure she wants eternity, she just wants the chance to find out! This made the underlying love story real rather than fairytale. Herc and Meg argue, they say things they regret but ultimately, they show up for each other and that’s what is important in the end.
I have seen other reviewers slating the character of Meg, saying that she is too rash and hot-headed in this twisted tale and bears little resemblance to the animated character we love. I have to say I completely disagree with these views: yes, as her quest nears its deadline then Meg becomes increasingly rash but hello, the girl gave up her soul to Hades! You can’t tell me she doesn’t have previous form for diving head-first into a situation?!
Go The Distance is an adorable novel about embracing your vulnerability and trusting those who want to help you. It teaches us that independence does not necessarily mean facing everything alone, love does not necessarily come from one stand-out moment and that it is never too late to forgive. This twisted tale is not as dark as other retellings in the series but Jen Calonita is an expert in middle-grade literature and so this is not a surprise nor a criticism.
“Two thumbs, way way up for our leading lady!”
5 Minute Movie Guy (379 KP) rated The Kitchen (2019) in Movies
Aug 24, 2019
Married into a life with the mob, three women living in Hell’s Kitchen, New York City in the late ‘70s find themselves trapped in their husband’s shadows in Andrea Berloff’s debut film, The Kitchen. Based on a 2014 DC Comics graphic novel by the same name, the film focuses on these three female friends facing the aftermath of their husband’s botched crime and subsequent imprisonment. Their Italian crime family promised to take care of them while their spouses are locked away, but their measly support simply isn’t enough when they’ve got mouths to feed and bills to pay. Tired of being weak and dependent, the ladies band together to take control of their situation by trying to take over the mob.
The Kitchen stars actresses Melissa McCarthy, Tiffany Haddish, and Elisabeth Moss as the female trio who work to rise to the top of their crime family by carrying the dead weight of the lazy men who lead it. McCarthy plays Kathy Brennan, a housewife and mother of two, whose seemingly good-natured husband is clearly involved in the wrong crowd. In spite of that, she appears to have a pleasant life at home, but her heavy reliance on her husband puts her in peril once he’s locked away. On the other hand, Haddish and Moss play Ruby and Claire, who are both victimized and disrespected by their husbands, with Claire even being regularly abused. These characteristics help to define the women and their actions as they attempt to upend the male-dominated establishment.
However, despite The Kitchen’s strong set-up, the characters themselves don’t show much depth beyond this, and the film’s performances leave a lot to be desired. McCarthy felt like she was acting in an entirely different movie. I’ve never seen a more passive and unconvincing crime boss. She’s struggling with a balancing act that sees her going between being tough, funny, ruthless, submissive, and sweet. By comparison to the rest of the movie, her whole character feels off-key. Then there’s Haddish who gives the worst acting performance I’ve seen in quite some time. I’m not really a fan of her brand of humor, but I didn’t like her dramatic turn here either. She just delivers snarky lines with attitude and death glares before walking off-camera in practically every shot she’s in. It’s almost funny how cheesy and over-the-top it is. You can’t just go mean-mugging your way through a whole major motion picture and expect to be taken seriously.
On a more positive note, Moss was much more impressive as Claire, who is fed up with being beaten down and bullied, and is determined to learn how to defend herself. She partners up with Domhnall Gleeson’s hitman character Gabriel who teaches her how to kill. Their relationship ends up being perhaps the most interesting aspect of the whole movie, and it has something of a Bonnie and Clyde quality to it. I only wish we could have seen it fleshed out a bit more.
For all of its potential, especially in terms of portraying female empowerment, The Kitchen regrettably winds up being a generic, inconsistent, and lethargic affair. I personally love the premise of the film. It’s a bad ass statement to any man who has ever said that a woman’s place is in the kitchen. It sticks up a middle finger to sexism by taking the action to the criminal streets of Hell’s Kitchen where the women rise to power. Unfortunately, despite the kick-ass feminist concept, I found that the film’s attempt at empowerment never really manifests into anything meaningful.
Instead, The Kitchen feels messy and uninspired. There isn’t a single scene in the entire film that I would consider to be good. The story is thin, the suspense is absent, the setting is bland, the tone is confusing, and the characters are mostly uninspired. I hate to even say it, but while watching it, I couldn’t help but be reminded of last year’s train-wreck of a film, Gotti, starring John Travolta. I think both of these films had a lot of promise, but seriously failed to deliver. As someone who loves a good gangster movie, I feel really disappointed.
There’s ultimately very little I liked about The Kitchen. The movie lacks a pulse, and the stakes never feel significant, not even as the body count piles up. The set design shows no strong sense of place or time period. Most of the settings outside seemed to be looking at nondescript sidewalks that could have been filmed anywhere. With the setting of Hell’s Kitchen, I can’t help but immediately think of The Godfather. Similarly, the use of The Rolling Stones in the trailer evokes thoughts of Scorsese and Goodfellas. Unfortunately, this movie clearly doesn’t even come close to comparing to either of those classics. This movie’s plot is weak, the betrayals are obvious, and the ending is uncomfortably idiotic. Despite it all, however, I find myself still interested in The Kitchen’s graphic novel at least, because I can’t imagine it being this bad.
The Kitchen stars actresses Melissa McCarthy, Tiffany Haddish, and Elisabeth Moss as the female trio who work to rise to the top of their crime family by carrying the dead weight of the lazy men who lead it. McCarthy plays Kathy Brennan, a housewife and mother of two, whose seemingly good-natured husband is clearly involved in the wrong crowd. In spite of that, she appears to have a pleasant life at home, but her heavy reliance on her husband puts her in peril once he’s locked away. On the other hand, Haddish and Moss play Ruby and Claire, who are both victimized and disrespected by their husbands, with Claire even being regularly abused. These characteristics help to define the women and their actions as they attempt to upend the male-dominated establishment.
However, despite The Kitchen’s strong set-up, the characters themselves don’t show much depth beyond this, and the film’s performances leave a lot to be desired. McCarthy felt like she was acting in an entirely different movie. I’ve never seen a more passive and unconvincing crime boss. She’s struggling with a balancing act that sees her going between being tough, funny, ruthless, submissive, and sweet. By comparison to the rest of the movie, her whole character feels off-key. Then there’s Haddish who gives the worst acting performance I’ve seen in quite some time. I’m not really a fan of her brand of humor, but I didn’t like her dramatic turn here either. She just delivers snarky lines with attitude and death glares before walking off-camera in practically every shot she’s in. It’s almost funny how cheesy and over-the-top it is. You can’t just go mean-mugging your way through a whole major motion picture and expect to be taken seriously.
On a more positive note, Moss was much more impressive as Claire, who is fed up with being beaten down and bullied, and is determined to learn how to defend herself. She partners up with Domhnall Gleeson’s hitman character Gabriel who teaches her how to kill. Their relationship ends up being perhaps the most interesting aspect of the whole movie, and it has something of a Bonnie and Clyde quality to it. I only wish we could have seen it fleshed out a bit more.
For all of its potential, especially in terms of portraying female empowerment, The Kitchen regrettably winds up being a generic, inconsistent, and lethargic affair. I personally love the premise of the film. It’s a bad ass statement to any man who has ever said that a woman’s place is in the kitchen. It sticks up a middle finger to sexism by taking the action to the criminal streets of Hell’s Kitchen where the women rise to power. Unfortunately, despite the kick-ass feminist concept, I found that the film’s attempt at empowerment never really manifests into anything meaningful.
Instead, The Kitchen feels messy and uninspired. There isn’t a single scene in the entire film that I would consider to be good. The story is thin, the suspense is absent, the setting is bland, the tone is confusing, and the characters are mostly uninspired. I hate to even say it, but while watching it, I couldn’t help but be reminded of last year’s train-wreck of a film, Gotti, starring John Travolta. I think both of these films had a lot of promise, but seriously failed to deliver. As someone who loves a good gangster movie, I feel really disappointed.
There’s ultimately very little I liked about The Kitchen. The movie lacks a pulse, and the stakes never feel significant, not even as the body count piles up. The set design shows no strong sense of place or time period. Most of the settings outside seemed to be looking at nondescript sidewalks that could have been filmed anywhere. With the setting of Hell’s Kitchen, I can’t help but immediately think of The Godfather. Similarly, the use of The Rolling Stones in the trailer evokes thoughts of Scorsese and Goodfellas. Unfortunately, this movie clearly doesn’t even come close to comparing to either of those classics. This movie’s plot is weak, the betrayals are obvious, and the ending is uncomfortably idiotic. Despite it all, however, I find myself still interested in The Kitchen’s graphic novel at least, because I can’t imagine it being this bad.
The Crowning of the Fire King by Sorcerer
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Sorcerer was formed in Stockholm, Sweden in 1988 by Johnny Hagel (Tiamat, Sundown, Lithium), Tommy...
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Bob Mann (459 KP) rated Fast & Furious Presents: Hobbs & Shaw (2019) in Movies
Sep 28, 2021
Good popcorn nonsense.
“Remember who we are. The Shaw family. We never, never, never give up.”
(That title is especially for my friends the Shaw family!).
Well, the patchy British summer’s just about up, and autumn’s chilly fingers are touching up the UK. And yet I still hadn’t seen the summer hit “Hobbs and Shaw”! Until last night.
It’s utter nonsense of course, like most of the “Fast and Furious” films, but I have to admit it’s done with some tongue in cheek style.
The plot
A vicious cyber-soldier, Brixton (Idris Elba) tries to steal a deadly virus but is thwarted by brave MI6 agent Hattie (Vanessa Kirby). To help recover the virus, Deckard Shaw (Jason Statham) is recruited in London by CIA agent Loeb (Rob Delaney, the “non-super” hero Peter in “Deadpool 2“). In an interesting piece of related casting, the Eteon Director (Champ Nightengale – LoL, a cameo for someone far more famous) recruits Luke Hobbs (Dwayne Johnson) in LA as a part of the team.
Both agents know they are heading for trouble… but do they really appreciate how much the pair hate each other’s guts?
The trail leads from London to the Ukraine to (a very picturesque) Samoa in a race against time to both defeat the undefeatable Brixton and save Hattie: now a ticking time bomb of global destruction. And Hattie has relations!
Absurd stunts.
As a “Fast and Furious” film there are of course some truly absurd car stunts involved and – unlike the Mission Impossible films – you are never quite sure what is “real” and what is CGI generated. Which is a shame.
For me, the gold standard for chases remains Tom Cruise‘s chase through Paris in “Mission Impossible: Fallout“. Here, the car chase through London – whilst impressive – never quite reaches the seat clenching tension of MI6.
And a final stunt with a helicopter is – I’m sorry – just plain ridiculous. If a chopper can partially lift 5 x load then why can’t it completely lift 1 x load. Give me a break!
To round things off, there is one of the most unbelievable “100% survival of a car crashing off a cliff” scenes in movie history!
Acting
The acting is largely from the Arnie Swartzenegger school, with Johnson and Statham giving it the old shtick. Dwayne Johnson may be one of Hollywood’s most bankable stars (the boy has done REAL good for himself), but he can’t do serious acting. His “pathos” scenes with his daughter (a vibrant Eliana Sua) are excruciating.
Dropping in as class acts are Helen Mirren as the elder Shaw and the excellent Vanessa Kirby as Hattie. Kirby gets a lot more to get her teeth into than in the last Mission Impossible movie, and is really very good. Mirren is rather too posh to be the incarcerated East End con, but is a fun turn nevertheless.
Also excellent, as always, is Eddie Marsan as the key scientist. Marsan really turns in a splendid performance in every film he’s in. He’s top of “Division 2” in my books. Never the star, but always starring.
Mexican actress Eiza González (from “Baby Driver“) also crops up as an unfeasibly good-looking Russian femme fatale.
“I hate you”. “No, I hate you”. Blah, blah, blah.
Writers Chris Morgan and Drew Pearce do a good job at keeping the script light and fluffy. The animosity between Hobbs and Shaw is played to 110%, and for me the interplay frankly became a bit tiresome. But it’s a fun-enough film to entertain, although it’s bladder-testing running time of 2 hours 17 minutes is at least 30 minutes too long. There is a natural Ukraine-based finale, but it’s not taken, and the film goes on… and on… and on…. and on. Enough already.
I’ve said many times before that comedies shouldn’t last more than 90 minutes, and although an “action film” this is fundamentally a comedy and the rule should apply. It would have been a much better film if it was compacted.
Sexism diverted.
I did criticize “Fast and Furious 8” for scenes that brazenly objectified women. And there was a moment – just one, fortunately – with a gyrating bikini-clad beauty – where I thought “uh, oh” – this franchise has not moved with the times.
But actually, this was the only scene where I thought that. Cinema has moved along massively in the last two years, driven by the “Times Up” movement. Here the women are all given pretty leading “kick-ass” roles, and they generally show the muscle-bound morons up, often saving their arses.
Final Thoughts.
It’s summer popcorn nonsense, but its well done popcorn nonsense. Probably not a film high on my list of films I want to see again, but as an entertainment vehicle it was not too shabby.
(That title is especially for my friends the Shaw family!).
Well, the patchy British summer’s just about up, and autumn’s chilly fingers are touching up the UK. And yet I still hadn’t seen the summer hit “Hobbs and Shaw”! Until last night.
It’s utter nonsense of course, like most of the “Fast and Furious” films, but I have to admit it’s done with some tongue in cheek style.
The plot
A vicious cyber-soldier, Brixton (Idris Elba) tries to steal a deadly virus but is thwarted by brave MI6 agent Hattie (Vanessa Kirby). To help recover the virus, Deckard Shaw (Jason Statham) is recruited in London by CIA agent Loeb (Rob Delaney, the “non-super” hero Peter in “Deadpool 2“). In an interesting piece of related casting, the Eteon Director (Champ Nightengale – LoL, a cameo for someone far more famous) recruits Luke Hobbs (Dwayne Johnson) in LA as a part of the team.
Both agents know they are heading for trouble… but do they really appreciate how much the pair hate each other’s guts?
The trail leads from London to the Ukraine to (a very picturesque) Samoa in a race against time to both defeat the undefeatable Brixton and save Hattie: now a ticking time bomb of global destruction. And Hattie has relations!
Absurd stunts.
As a “Fast and Furious” film there are of course some truly absurd car stunts involved and – unlike the Mission Impossible films – you are never quite sure what is “real” and what is CGI generated. Which is a shame.
For me, the gold standard for chases remains Tom Cruise‘s chase through Paris in “Mission Impossible: Fallout“. Here, the car chase through London – whilst impressive – never quite reaches the seat clenching tension of MI6.
And a final stunt with a helicopter is – I’m sorry – just plain ridiculous. If a chopper can partially lift 5 x load then why can’t it completely lift 1 x load. Give me a break!
To round things off, there is one of the most unbelievable “100% survival of a car crashing off a cliff” scenes in movie history!
Acting
The acting is largely from the Arnie Swartzenegger school, with Johnson and Statham giving it the old shtick. Dwayne Johnson may be one of Hollywood’s most bankable stars (the boy has done REAL good for himself), but he can’t do serious acting. His “pathos” scenes with his daughter (a vibrant Eliana Sua) are excruciating.
Dropping in as class acts are Helen Mirren as the elder Shaw and the excellent Vanessa Kirby as Hattie. Kirby gets a lot more to get her teeth into than in the last Mission Impossible movie, and is really very good. Mirren is rather too posh to be the incarcerated East End con, but is a fun turn nevertheless.
Also excellent, as always, is Eddie Marsan as the key scientist. Marsan really turns in a splendid performance in every film he’s in. He’s top of “Division 2” in my books. Never the star, but always starring.
Mexican actress Eiza González (from “Baby Driver“) also crops up as an unfeasibly good-looking Russian femme fatale.
“I hate you”. “No, I hate you”. Blah, blah, blah.
Writers Chris Morgan and Drew Pearce do a good job at keeping the script light and fluffy. The animosity between Hobbs and Shaw is played to 110%, and for me the interplay frankly became a bit tiresome. But it’s a fun-enough film to entertain, although it’s bladder-testing running time of 2 hours 17 minutes is at least 30 minutes too long. There is a natural Ukraine-based finale, but it’s not taken, and the film goes on… and on… and on…. and on. Enough already.
I’ve said many times before that comedies shouldn’t last more than 90 minutes, and although an “action film” this is fundamentally a comedy and the rule should apply. It would have been a much better film if it was compacted.
Sexism diverted.
I did criticize “Fast and Furious 8” for scenes that brazenly objectified women. And there was a moment – just one, fortunately – with a gyrating bikini-clad beauty – where I thought “uh, oh” – this franchise has not moved with the times.
But actually, this was the only scene where I thought that. Cinema has moved along massively in the last two years, driven by the “Times Up” movement. Here the women are all given pretty leading “kick-ass” roles, and they generally show the muscle-bound morons up, often saving their arses.
Final Thoughts.
It’s summer popcorn nonsense, but its well done popcorn nonsense. Probably not a film high on my list of films I want to see again, but as an entertainment vehicle it was not too shabby.
Bob Mann (459 KP) rated Fantastic Beasts: Crimes of Grindelwald (2018) in Movies
Sep 28, 2021
Lestranger than fiction.
I must be one of the last people to watch this in the cinema, thanks to an irritating bout of sickness and – well – frankly total bloody apathy! For me this is the franchise that nobody asked for and nobody wanted. (Well, “nobody” is probably overstating the case, since there is probably a bunch of Potterheads out there who are shouting at me right now). But judging from the opinion of my daughter-in-law, who could win “Mastermind” with her knowledge of the original Potter series as her specialist subject, I am certainly not alone in my lack of enthusiasm.
The Plot
I’d really love to tell you about the plot. I really would! But I would struggle to pull all the multitude of strands together from J.K. Rowling’s story and coherently explain them to anyone. If Rowling had put ten thousand monkeys (not a million – it’s no bloody Shakespeare) into a room with typewriters and locked the door I wouldn’t be surprised.
Let me try at a high level….. The arch-criminal wizard Grindelwald (Johnny Depp) is being tortured in ‘Trump Tower’, but manages to escape and flees to Paris in pursuit of a mysterious circus performer called Credence (Ezra Miller) and his bewitched companion Nagini (nudge, nudge, wink, wink) played fetchingly by Claudia Kim. Someone needs to stop him, and all eyes are on Albus Dumbledore (Jude Law). But he is unable to do so, since he and Grindelwald are “closer than brothers” (nudge, nudge, wink, wink). So a reluctant and UK-grounded Newt Scamander (Eddie Redmayne) is smuggled into the danger zone… which suits him just fine since his love Tina (Katherine Waterston) is working for the ministry there, and the couple are currently estranged due to a (topical) bout of ‘Fake News’.
Throw in a potential love triangle between Newt, his brother Theseus (Callum Turner) and old Hogwart’s schoolmate Leta Lestrange (Zoë Kravitz) and about a half dozen other sub-plots and you have… well… a complete bugger’s muggle – – sorry – – muddle.
A plot that’s all at sea
Above all, I really can’t explain the crux of the plot. A venerable diarrhoea of exposition in a crypt, during an inexplicably quiet fifteen minutes (given ‘im-who-can-be-named is next door with about a thousand other people!) left me completely bewildered. A bizarre event at sea (no spoilers) would seem to make absolutely NO SENSE when considered with another reveal at the end of the film. I thought I must have clearly missed something… or I’d just not been intelligent enough to process the information…. or…. it was actually completely bonkers! Actually, I think it’s the latter: in desperation I went on a fan site that tried to explain the plot. While it was explained there, the explanation aligned with what I thought had happened: but it made no mention of the ridiculousness of the random coincidence involved!
The turns
The film’s a mess. Which is a shame since everyone involved tries really hard. Depp oozes evil very effectively (he proves that nicely on arriving in Paris, and doubles-down about 5 minutes later: #veryverydark). Redmayne replays his Newt-act effectively but once again (and I see I made the same comments in my “Fantastic Beasts” review) his character mumbles again so much that many of his lines are unintelligible.
I also complained last time that the excellent actress Katherine Waterston was criminally underused as the tentative love interest Tina. this trend unfortunately continues unabated in this film…. you’ll struggle afterwards to write down what she actually did in this film.
Jacob (Dan Fogler) and Queenie (Alison Sudol, looking for all the world in some scenes like Rachel Weisz) reprise their roles in a sub-plot that goes nowhere in particular.
Of the newcomers, Jude Law as Dumbledore is a class-act but has very little screen time: hopefully he will get more to do next time around. Zoë Kravitz impresses as Leta.
Wizards of the screen
As you would expect from a David Yates / David Heyman Potter collaboration, the product design, costume design and special effects are all excellent. Some scenes are truly impressive – an ‘explosion’ in a Parisian garret is particularly spectacular.
But special effects alone do not a great film make. Many reviews I’ve seen complain that this was a ‘filler’ film… a set-up film for the rest of the series. And I can understand that view. If you analyse the film overall, virtually NOTHING of importance actually happens: it’s like the “Order of the Phoenix” of the prequels.
Final Thoughts
I dragged myself along to see this one because “I thought I should”. The third in the series will really need to sparkle to make me want to see it. If J.K. Rowling were to take me advice (she won’t – she NEVER returns my calls!) then she would sculpt the story-arc but leave the screenwriting to someone better. The blame for this one, I’m afraid, lies at Rowling’s door alone.
The Plot
I’d really love to tell you about the plot. I really would! But I would struggle to pull all the multitude of strands together from J.K. Rowling’s story and coherently explain them to anyone. If Rowling had put ten thousand monkeys (not a million – it’s no bloody Shakespeare) into a room with typewriters and locked the door I wouldn’t be surprised.
Let me try at a high level….. The arch-criminal wizard Grindelwald (Johnny Depp) is being tortured in ‘Trump Tower’, but manages to escape and flees to Paris in pursuit of a mysterious circus performer called Credence (Ezra Miller) and his bewitched companion Nagini (nudge, nudge, wink, wink) played fetchingly by Claudia Kim. Someone needs to stop him, and all eyes are on Albus Dumbledore (Jude Law). But he is unable to do so, since he and Grindelwald are “closer than brothers” (nudge, nudge, wink, wink). So a reluctant and UK-grounded Newt Scamander (Eddie Redmayne) is smuggled into the danger zone… which suits him just fine since his love Tina (Katherine Waterston) is working for the ministry there, and the couple are currently estranged due to a (topical) bout of ‘Fake News’.
Throw in a potential love triangle between Newt, his brother Theseus (Callum Turner) and old Hogwart’s schoolmate Leta Lestrange (Zoë Kravitz) and about a half dozen other sub-plots and you have… well… a complete bugger’s muggle – – sorry – – muddle.
A plot that’s all at sea
Above all, I really can’t explain the crux of the plot. A venerable diarrhoea of exposition in a crypt, during an inexplicably quiet fifteen minutes (given ‘im-who-can-be-named is next door with about a thousand other people!) left me completely bewildered. A bizarre event at sea (no spoilers) would seem to make absolutely NO SENSE when considered with another reveal at the end of the film. I thought I must have clearly missed something… or I’d just not been intelligent enough to process the information…. or…. it was actually completely bonkers! Actually, I think it’s the latter: in desperation I went on a fan site that tried to explain the plot. While it was explained there, the explanation aligned with what I thought had happened: but it made no mention of the ridiculousness of the random coincidence involved!
The turns
The film’s a mess. Which is a shame since everyone involved tries really hard. Depp oozes evil very effectively (he proves that nicely on arriving in Paris, and doubles-down about 5 minutes later: #veryverydark). Redmayne replays his Newt-act effectively but once again (and I see I made the same comments in my “Fantastic Beasts” review) his character mumbles again so much that many of his lines are unintelligible.
I also complained last time that the excellent actress Katherine Waterston was criminally underused as the tentative love interest Tina. this trend unfortunately continues unabated in this film…. you’ll struggle afterwards to write down what she actually did in this film.
Jacob (Dan Fogler) and Queenie (Alison Sudol, looking for all the world in some scenes like Rachel Weisz) reprise their roles in a sub-plot that goes nowhere in particular.
Of the newcomers, Jude Law as Dumbledore is a class-act but has very little screen time: hopefully he will get more to do next time around. Zoë Kravitz impresses as Leta.
Wizards of the screen
As you would expect from a David Yates / David Heyman Potter collaboration, the product design, costume design and special effects are all excellent. Some scenes are truly impressive – an ‘explosion’ in a Parisian garret is particularly spectacular.
But special effects alone do not a great film make. Many reviews I’ve seen complain that this was a ‘filler’ film… a set-up film for the rest of the series. And I can understand that view. If you analyse the film overall, virtually NOTHING of importance actually happens: it’s like the “Order of the Phoenix” of the prequels.
Final Thoughts
I dragged myself along to see this one because “I thought I should”. The third in the series will really need to sparkle to make me want to see it. If J.K. Rowling were to take me advice (she won’t – she NEVER returns my calls!) then she would sculpt the story-arc but leave the screenwriting to someone better. The blame for this one, I’m afraid, lies at Rowling’s door alone.
Bob Mann (459 KP) rated Slaughterhouse Rulez (2018) in Movies
Sep 28, 2021
Form-Prefect of the Dead.
The Plot
Meredith Houseman (Simon Pegg) is housemaster of Sparta house in Slaughterhouse school: an ancient public school establishment steering England’s future greats to greatness (which probably explains a lot about the current Brexit mess!). Houseman is not in a happy place, given that his girlfriend is now in deepest darkest African doing “good works” with handsome French doctors, and particularly that she is played by Margot Robbie: I would be also be sad… #punching!
New school starter Don Wallace (Finn Cole) is equally unhappy as he is a northern teen dragooned into attending the school by his well-meaning Mum (Jo Hartley). His strange room-mate Willoughby (Asa Butterfield) seems to be a chronic depressive; he is being picked on by the prefect-bully Clegg (Tom Rhys Harries); and his bed was previously occupied by a Viscount, since deceased under unpleasant circumstances that no-one wants to talk about. At least he has the distraction of the upper-sixth school goddess Clemsie Lawrence (Hermione Corfield) to take his mind off his woes.
All this washes over “The Bat” – the school’s headmaster (Michael Sheen) – since he is engrossed in some shady deal with an evil corporation doing fracking in the school grounds. The fracking though seems to be doing more than just causing a few minor earth tremors, as ancient forces are unleashed.
The Review
The movie is positioned as a “comedy/horror”, along the lines of “Shaun of the Dead”. The film also has Frost and Pegg as executive producers and they also have starring roles in the film. But there the similarities really end: this is a “Cornetto film” without a cone of solid chocolate lurking at the bottom to enjoy.
The script (by director Crispian Mills and first-time screenwriter Henry Fitzherbert) is nowhere near as sharp as the Frost/Pegg scripts for their famous collaborations. The story overall makes precious little sense: it’s a hodge-podge of elements from many Harry Potter films (especially “The Chamber of Secrets”), Lindsay Anderson’s “If…”; and Roy Boulting’s “The Guinea Pig”; with also a sprinkling of the anarchic essence of Michael Palin’s classic “Tomkinson’s Schooldays”. The whole thing never manages to gel into a cohesive whole.
After the second reel, the film completely loses sight of the plot: there’s a whole lot of running, screaming and dying going on but there’s little logic behind any of it that I could fathom. What didn’t help my comprehension of what was going on were some ‘Cornetto-esque’ sequences of manic editing. Images were thrown onto the screen so subliminally that any clever nuance was lost. I’m sure at one point there was a droll (if gross) segue at a “Roman orgy” of a girl receiving oral sex before being ‘eaten out’ in an entirely different way. But you would need a Blu-ray and a frame-by-frame pause function to get the joke.
That’s not to say that I didn’t laugh a few times along the way. There are some sight gags – for example, Wooten (Kit Connor) as the lad at the bottom of the bullying pecking order, chained to a U-bend – that made me laugh, and some running jokes – for example, Frost as the head of the anti-fracking camp offering the kids drugs at every encounter – that mildly amuse. But once again here’s a British comedy that, like the atrocious “The Brits are Coming“, thinks that “funny” largely revolves around swearing a lot – how useful that “frack” sounds so similar to another word – with added bodily dismemberment.
The turns
Pegg and Frost ham it up with their usual comedy schtick well enough, and it was quite fun to see Sheen try a comedy role for a change as the conniving and supercilious headmaster. Elsewhere all the young cast put their hearts into it, but it’s again Asa Butterfield that your eyes gravitate to, due to his striking features. I last saw Asa in the excellent if harrowing WW1 drama “Journey’s End“, and he here proves again that he is a One Mann’s Movies ‘name to watch for the future’.
Final thoughts
There’s a lot to irritate in this film. From the “z” in the title to… well… about 80% of the film. There is no nuance or subtlety to either the writing or the direction. I think that’s a great shame. The film has a good premise hidden in there. An adult comedy set around the ridiculous rules and rites of public schools (away from the light nonsense of “St Trinians”) is overdue. And the whole subject of fracking, and the conflicts surrounding the controversial techniques, hasn’t yet – to my knowledge – been explored in a fictional movie. The film does have a few very funny moments. But as a whole I left the cinema with that “wasted two hours” feeling. Not recommended.
Meredith Houseman (Simon Pegg) is housemaster of Sparta house in Slaughterhouse school: an ancient public school establishment steering England’s future greats to greatness (which probably explains a lot about the current Brexit mess!). Houseman is not in a happy place, given that his girlfriend is now in deepest darkest African doing “good works” with handsome French doctors, and particularly that she is played by Margot Robbie: I would be also be sad… #punching!
New school starter Don Wallace (Finn Cole) is equally unhappy as he is a northern teen dragooned into attending the school by his well-meaning Mum (Jo Hartley). His strange room-mate Willoughby (Asa Butterfield) seems to be a chronic depressive; he is being picked on by the prefect-bully Clegg (Tom Rhys Harries); and his bed was previously occupied by a Viscount, since deceased under unpleasant circumstances that no-one wants to talk about. At least he has the distraction of the upper-sixth school goddess Clemsie Lawrence (Hermione Corfield) to take his mind off his woes.
All this washes over “The Bat” – the school’s headmaster (Michael Sheen) – since he is engrossed in some shady deal with an evil corporation doing fracking in the school grounds. The fracking though seems to be doing more than just causing a few minor earth tremors, as ancient forces are unleashed.
The Review
The movie is positioned as a “comedy/horror”, along the lines of “Shaun of the Dead”. The film also has Frost and Pegg as executive producers and they also have starring roles in the film. But there the similarities really end: this is a “Cornetto film” without a cone of solid chocolate lurking at the bottom to enjoy.
The script (by director Crispian Mills and first-time screenwriter Henry Fitzherbert) is nowhere near as sharp as the Frost/Pegg scripts for their famous collaborations. The story overall makes precious little sense: it’s a hodge-podge of elements from many Harry Potter films (especially “The Chamber of Secrets”), Lindsay Anderson’s “If…”; and Roy Boulting’s “The Guinea Pig”; with also a sprinkling of the anarchic essence of Michael Palin’s classic “Tomkinson’s Schooldays”. The whole thing never manages to gel into a cohesive whole.
After the second reel, the film completely loses sight of the plot: there’s a whole lot of running, screaming and dying going on but there’s little logic behind any of it that I could fathom. What didn’t help my comprehension of what was going on were some ‘Cornetto-esque’ sequences of manic editing. Images were thrown onto the screen so subliminally that any clever nuance was lost. I’m sure at one point there was a droll (if gross) segue at a “Roman orgy” of a girl receiving oral sex before being ‘eaten out’ in an entirely different way. But you would need a Blu-ray and a frame-by-frame pause function to get the joke.
That’s not to say that I didn’t laugh a few times along the way. There are some sight gags – for example, Wooten (Kit Connor) as the lad at the bottom of the bullying pecking order, chained to a U-bend – that made me laugh, and some running jokes – for example, Frost as the head of the anti-fracking camp offering the kids drugs at every encounter – that mildly amuse. But once again here’s a British comedy that, like the atrocious “The Brits are Coming“, thinks that “funny” largely revolves around swearing a lot – how useful that “frack” sounds so similar to another word – with added bodily dismemberment.
The turns
Pegg and Frost ham it up with their usual comedy schtick well enough, and it was quite fun to see Sheen try a comedy role for a change as the conniving and supercilious headmaster. Elsewhere all the young cast put their hearts into it, but it’s again Asa Butterfield that your eyes gravitate to, due to his striking features. I last saw Asa in the excellent if harrowing WW1 drama “Journey’s End“, and he here proves again that he is a One Mann’s Movies ‘name to watch for the future’.
Final thoughts
There’s a lot to irritate in this film. From the “z” in the title to… well… about 80% of the film. There is no nuance or subtlety to either the writing or the direction. I think that’s a great shame. The film has a good premise hidden in there. An adult comedy set around the ridiculous rules and rites of public schools (away from the light nonsense of “St Trinians”) is overdue. And the whole subject of fracking, and the conflicts surrounding the controversial techniques, hasn’t yet – to my knowledge – been explored in a fictional movie. The film does have a few very funny moments. But as a whole I left the cinema with that “wasted two hours” feeling. Not recommended.
Acanthea Grimscythe (300 KP) rated The Graveyard Apartment in Books
May 16, 2018
I've spent the past few days buried up to my eyeballs in Mariko Koike's The Graveyard Apartment, and to say I thoroughly enjoyed the book would be a lie; in fact, it failed to live up to my expectations and I am left wanting. Before I delve into my review, I would like to thank NetGalley, Thomas Dunne Books, and the author and translator, for providing me with an advanced reader's copy for the purpose of an unbiased review.
Horror is my ultimate weakness. Anything that has the potential to be spooky or scary, I am likely to gobble up without a second thought: or, at the very least, take the time to sit down and read or watch. After reading the synopsis for Mariko Koike's The Graveyard Apartment, I eagerly applied for the opportunity to review a copy of the book prior to release. Now that I've finished devouring it, I find myself with many unanswered questions.
The Graveyard Apartment takes place in the late 80s, and was, in fact, originally published in 1986. It tells the tale of a small family, the Kanos, that has made their first real estate purchase: a comfortable, two bedroom apartment located on the eight floor of a new apartment building that, as the book's title indicates, is located near a graveyard... and a temple... and a crematorium. Apparently that's not enough to warn off potential buyers though, because the Kanos are not the only ones duped into purchasing one of the fourteen apartments. Once they've settled in, strange occurrences begin and they quickly find themselves in a living nightmare.
Beginning with the characters, I find nearly all of them to be unlikable in one way or another, with the exception of the daughter, Tamao. Her parents, Misao and Teppei Kano, strike me as extremely self-centered and one-dimensional, as do her aunt and uncle, Naomi and Tatsuji. Their downstairs neighbors, the Inoues, are precisely what you'd expect of a more outgoing family, and the managers of the apartment are rather dry in comparison. I felt little to no sympathy at any point for anyone other than the daughter, the dog, and the finch and for this, especially in something that has been labeled a psychological thriller, is extremely disappointing. Without being able to form a connection to the characters, I tend to find it difficult to actually care about what happens to them, and so upon the conclusion of the book, I simply shrugged and closed my Kindle app.
The story itself has a lot of potential, and yes I am aware that is a word I throw around a lot in my reviews. When I look at a plot, I tend to form my own thoughts regarding what could happen, and a lot of times that does lead to me being let down. For instance, in The Graveyard Apartment we learn that Misao is Teppei's second wife, the first having been lost to tragedy. Though Teppei's first wife, Reiko, is mentioned very often in the book, and made to seem as if there is a key role to be played by her, there actually isn't: it's all useless information that has been thrown out to the reader, but has no real connotation on the story. Likewise, Misao discovers that there had originally been plans to build an underground mall in the area back in the 60s. Given the strange things that happen throughout the book, one might expect to see and learn a lot more about this supposed mall and the aftermath of its construction having been canceled. We don't. Again, it is an element to the story that is not fully fleshed out, even though it is clearly a major factor in the history of the apartment building that the Kanos have moved into.
As if those two players weren't enough of a disappointment, the book does not come to a conclusion, and for me this is a disappointment. I don't care much for happy endings; in fact, I rather prefer unhappy endings. The Graveyard Apartment robs us of any sense of finality, though, and in truth fails to draw the story to a true close. As a reader, we can surmise the outcome based on the book's epilogue, but that's about as much we can do. We can figure out what happened to the Kanos and their fate, but we do not learn why. Instead, Koike continues to hint at a malevolent being haunting a recently built apartment complex whose origins are unknown, and whose origins no one really seems to be overly curious about. Sure, they're scared, but they don't really seem to care beyond that. There wasn't any shortage of clues either, as to why the place may have been haunted; only a lack of motivation in regards to finding out why that extends beyond Teppei's initial apprehension.
I really, truly can't wrap my head around how much was wasted in this book. It was like watching a B-rated horror flick where someone forgot to tie up the loose ends. Honestly, I would have liked to see more revealed regarding Reiko and the failed underground mall.
Horror is my ultimate weakness. Anything that has the potential to be spooky or scary, I am likely to gobble up without a second thought: or, at the very least, take the time to sit down and read or watch. After reading the synopsis for Mariko Koike's The Graveyard Apartment, I eagerly applied for the opportunity to review a copy of the book prior to release. Now that I've finished devouring it, I find myself with many unanswered questions.
The Graveyard Apartment takes place in the late 80s, and was, in fact, originally published in 1986. It tells the tale of a small family, the Kanos, that has made their first real estate purchase: a comfortable, two bedroom apartment located on the eight floor of a new apartment building that, as the book's title indicates, is located near a graveyard... and a temple... and a crematorium. Apparently that's not enough to warn off potential buyers though, because the Kanos are not the only ones duped into purchasing one of the fourteen apartments. Once they've settled in, strange occurrences begin and they quickly find themselves in a living nightmare.
Beginning with the characters, I find nearly all of them to be unlikable in one way or another, with the exception of the daughter, Tamao. Her parents, Misao and Teppei Kano, strike me as extremely self-centered and one-dimensional, as do her aunt and uncle, Naomi and Tatsuji. Their downstairs neighbors, the Inoues, are precisely what you'd expect of a more outgoing family, and the managers of the apartment are rather dry in comparison. I felt little to no sympathy at any point for anyone other than the daughter, the dog, and the finch and for this, especially in something that has been labeled a psychological thriller, is extremely disappointing. Without being able to form a connection to the characters, I tend to find it difficult to actually care about what happens to them, and so upon the conclusion of the book, I simply shrugged and closed my Kindle app.
The story itself has a lot of potential, and yes I am aware that is a word I throw around a lot in my reviews. When I look at a plot, I tend to form my own thoughts regarding what could happen, and a lot of times that does lead to me being let down. For instance, in The Graveyard Apartment we learn that Misao is Teppei's second wife, the first having been lost to tragedy. Though Teppei's first wife, Reiko, is mentioned very often in the book, and made to seem as if there is a key role to be played by her, there actually isn't: it's all useless information that has been thrown out to the reader, but has no real connotation on the story. Likewise, Misao discovers that there had originally been plans to build an underground mall in the area back in the 60s. Given the strange things that happen throughout the book, one might expect to see and learn a lot more about this supposed mall and the aftermath of its construction having been canceled. We don't. Again, it is an element to the story that is not fully fleshed out, even though it is clearly a major factor in the history of the apartment building that the Kanos have moved into.
As if those two players weren't enough of a disappointment, the book does not come to a conclusion, and for me this is a disappointment. I don't care much for happy endings; in fact, I rather prefer unhappy endings. The Graveyard Apartment robs us of any sense of finality, though, and in truth fails to draw the story to a true close. As a reader, we can surmise the outcome based on the book's epilogue, but that's about as much we can do. We can figure out what happened to the Kanos and their fate, but we do not learn why. Instead, Koike continues to hint at a malevolent being haunting a recently built apartment complex whose origins are unknown, and whose origins no one really seems to be overly curious about. Sure, they're scared, but they don't really seem to care beyond that. There wasn't any shortage of clues either, as to why the place may have been haunted; only a lack of motivation in regards to finding out why that extends beyond Teppei's initial apprehension.
I really, truly can't wrap my head around how much was wasted in this book. It was like watching a B-rated horror flick where someone forgot to tie up the loose ends. Honestly, I would have liked to see more revealed regarding Reiko and the failed underground mall.
Gareth von Kallenbach (980 KP) rated Call of Duty: Ghosts - Invasion in Video Games
Jun 19, 2019
Just in time for the 4th of July, Activision has released the Invasion DLC for Call of Duty: Ghosts so PC and Playstation users can get in on the action. The content as per the usual formula releases first on Xbox systems and then makes it way to the other platforms where it can be purchased on its own or as part of a season pass which offers 4 DLC releases.
The new release offers four new maps and the latest chapter of Extinction which will provide plenty of variety to keep fans going until the final DLC set is released which sets the stage for Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare in the fall.
Mixing old and new the new maps have much to offer at first glance and look to take the online experience of the game to the next level.
Pharaoh
Is set amongst Egyptian runes and there are dark temples and rubble strewn courtyards for players to navigate. Sadly it also makes for an ideal place for campers to setup in the shadow and this is one of the biggest frustrations as spawn camping happened to me often.
When I could get out to explore the richly detailed maps were great fun and I enjoyed the traps such as the collapsible pillar, the secret room, and the flesh eating scarabs as well as other treats the developers provided. I just wish gameplay issues did not mar the joy as much as they did.
Departed
Is set in a small Mexican Town during the Day of the Dead festival as if you had any doubt, the hearse and lively décor in the town’s fountain would be a giveaway. There is a church, retail shops, courtyards, and vehicles to contend with, however once again, camping rules the day as players often hide in the shadows or above picking players off when they spawn and making progress around the map tricky.
The Death Mariachi can be obtained via Field Orders and having a spectral ally with dual .44 Magnums can be a huge help along the way to victory for those lucky enough to obtain it.
Mutiny
This is perhaps the most creative of the new content as players battle in and around pirate ships and must contend with some speed and stealth requirements and two great Field Orders. There is the cannon barrage from the nearby sailing ship and the Ghostly Crew who are more than happy to help send enemies down the briny depths each chance they get.
I found a shotgun or an AK 47 worked best here as the close quarters make ideal conditions for a shotgun but on deck and the pier the rapid fire functions of the AK really helped out.
Favela
This is an update of the popular map from Modern Warfare II set in the Rio slums. Players have to run and gun across varied terrain to battle the enemy which is no easy task as snipers and campers love this map so expect to be frustrated if you have not played it before. Every window is a possible hiding place so this is not ideal for run and gun players.
Awakening
This is the third chapter in the Extinction storyline where players team up to battle an alien threat. This time they take the fight and the drill to the Alien’s backyard. As before players earn money by dispatching aliens which can be used for better weapons and power ups.
You need to work with one another as death will happen and you will need your team to revive you as once all four players are down, the game is over, and you will have to start the campaign over.
Calling in some sentry guns and artillery strikes help with the never ending waves as this is the best of the DLC by far.
As much as I wanted to love this collection, sadly I ran into several issues with this collection which has marred my enjoyment of it. Issues with camping, lag, and rampant hacking have been so bad that I have struggled at times to find games on the PC version and when I have, gameplay at times has been almost unplayable.
Skill is one thing but when you unload half a clip in a target and they stand there taking it or kill you dead with one shot all the while being hit, you know you have a hack, lag, or gameplay issues. This happened time and time again, day in and day out.
Many players had told me in game how unhappy they have been with this collection as the maps encourage camping which leads to a lot of frustration.
Some users have complained that the matchmaking system is combing players regardless of their geography which is resulting in latency issues. I cannot tell you how many times a game has slowed to a crawl or stopped or how gunfire appeared to have no affect due to lag which on a 20 MBS line should not happen.
I did not see issues as bad as this with the previous two DLCs, the first one actually helped change my thoughts on the multiplay of Ghost which for me has been the least enjoyable of the series. That being said, it sadly is a return to form this time around and I am hoping that we have a better finale in store.
http://sknr.net/2014/07/14/call-of-duty-ghosts-invasion-dlc/
The new release offers four new maps and the latest chapter of Extinction which will provide plenty of variety to keep fans going until the final DLC set is released which sets the stage for Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare in the fall.
Mixing old and new the new maps have much to offer at first glance and look to take the online experience of the game to the next level.
Pharaoh
Is set amongst Egyptian runes and there are dark temples and rubble strewn courtyards for players to navigate. Sadly it also makes for an ideal place for campers to setup in the shadow and this is one of the biggest frustrations as spawn camping happened to me often.
When I could get out to explore the richly detailed maps were great fun and I enjoyed the traps such as the collapsible pillar, the secret room, and the flesh eating scarabs as well as other treats the developers provided. I just wish gameplay issues did not mar the joy as much as they did.
Departed
Is set in a small Mexican Town during the Day of the Dead festival as if you had any doubt, the hearse and lively décor in the town’s fountain would be a giveaway. There is a church, retail shops, courtyards, and vehicles to contend with, however once again, camping rules the day as players often hide in the shadows or above picking players off when they spawn and making progress around the map tricky.
The Death Mariachi can be obtained via Field Orders and having a spectral ally with dual .44 Magnums can be a huge help along the way to victory for those lucky enough to obtain it.
Mutiny
This is perhaps the most creative of the new content as players battle in and around pirate ships and must contend with some speed and stealth requirements and two great Field Orders. There is the cannon barrage from the nearby sailing ship and the Ghostly Crew who are more than happy to help send enemies down the briny depths each chance they get.
I found a shotgun or an AK 47 worked best here as the close quarters make ideal conditions for a shotgun but on deck and the pier the rapid fire functions of the AK really helped out.
Favela
This is an update of the popular map from Modern Warfare II set in the Rio slums. Players have to run and gun across varied terrain to battle the enemy which is no easy task as snipers and campers love this map so expect to be frustrated if you have not played it before. Every window is a possible hiding place so this is not ideal for run and gun players.
Awakening
This is the third chapter in the Extinction storyline where players team up to battle an alien threat. This time they take the fight and the drill to the Alien’s backyard. As before players earn money by dispatching aliens which can be used for better weapons and power ups.
You need to work with one another as death will happen and you will need your team to revive you as once all four players are down, the game is over, and you will have to start the campaign over.
Calling in some sentry guns and artillery strikes help with the never ending waves as this is the best of the DLC by far.
As much as I wanted to love this collection, sadly I ran into several issues with this collection which has marred my enjoyment of it. Issues with camping, lag, and rampant hacking have been so bad that I have struggled at times to find games on the PC version and when I have, gameplay at times has been almost unplayable.
Skill is one thing but when you unload half a clip in a target and they stand there taking it or kill you dead with one shot all the while being hit, you know you have a hack, lag, or gameplay issues. This happened time and time again, day in and day out.
Many players had told me in game how unhappy they have been with this collection as the maps encourage camping which leads to a lot of frustration.
Some users have complained that the matchmaking system is combing players regardless of their geography which is resulting in latency issues. I cannot tell you how many times a game has slowed to a crawl or stopped or how gunfire appeared to have no affect due to lag which on a 20 MBS line should not happen.
I did not see issues as bad as this with the previous two DLCs, the first one actually helped change my thoughts on the multiplay of Ghost which for me has been the least enjoyable of the series. That being said, it sadly is a return to form this time around and I am hoping that we have a better finale in store.
http://sknr.net/2014/07/14/call-of-duty-ghosts-invasion-dlc/
Heather Cranmer (2721 KP) rated The God Game in Books
Nov 7, 2019
While browsing Facebook one day, I came across a book entitled The God Game by Danny Tobey. I was intrigued, so I decided to read more about it. After reading the synopsis, this book reeled me in. I decided to give it a read, and I am very glad I did. The God Game has become one of my favorite reads so far.
With the way the digital age is going, the plot of The God Game sounded like it could already be happening in real life. A bunch of teens decide to play a random game with what they suspect is just some kind of artificial intelligence. However, when God (the AI in The God Game) starts asking them to do some highly illegal and dangerous activities as well as activities that make the teens question their morality, they start to think that maybe they are in over their heads. Will the teens be able to quit the game or will death be the only way out? Don't get me wrong. The plot has been done before, but Danny Tobey put his own original spin on the idea and made it where it comes across as a fresh idea. As I mentioned earlier, The God Game comes across as being very realistic. While I feel that there are no major plot twists and that the book is fairly predictable in some places, The God Game is still a highly entertaining read. Tobey gives his readers enough information at the end of the book to leave them satisfied, but he still leaves it somewhat open ended for a possible sequel.
The God Game flowed very smoothly, and I felt like the pacing was perfect. Not once did I feel like the book became too dull or that it was going to fast. The transitions between chapters was very spot on which made The God Game an easy read for me. It was so easy to lose myself in this novel as I became completely immersed in the world Tobey had created.
A couple of things that kind of bothered me, and they seem to be more personal preference than a fault with the story, is the mentions of politics and how anti-God/Christianity The God Game seemed to be. I'm not a political person by any means. In fact, I don't lean one way or the other when it comes to politics. However, I felt like politics were mentioned way too much in this book. It's very obvious that the author is very anti-Trump. If I wanted to read a book about politics, I'd read a political thriller or something similar. I didn't like how this book seems to poke fun at those that believe in God. It comes across as if the author is trying to challenge the beliefs of those who believe in God. I get that The God Game has God in its title and is about an AI that believes it's God, but I felt that the way the author speaks about God came off as a bit crass. However, those were minor issues for me, and I still enjoyed reading The God Game very much.
I felt that all of the main and supporting characters in The God Game were written superbly. The God Game had such a diverse group of characters throughout which was refreshing to see. I enjoyed reading about Charlie and his thoughts. He seemed conflicted the most with everything that was happening. It was great to read about how much he cared about his friends as well as other people. Charlie came across as a stand up guy. Vanhi was my favorite character. She was such a badass that I couldn't help but to love her! I felt like she was the second most conflicted character. I just felt sorry for what Alex was going through. My heart ached for him. Kenny was a great character too, and it was interesting what the game would ask him to do. I never quite knew what to make of Peter. He was written well, and he came across as very charismatic which made me suspicious of him throughout the whole novel. I did admire how much he would throw himself into something though.
Trigger warnings for The God Game include violence, profanity, drug use, politics, challenging the existence of God, racism, sexual situations (although not graphic), and murder.
Overall, The God Game is a highly thrilling read. With such an interesting cast of characters as well as a highly thought provoking plot, I wouldn't be surprised if The God Game became one of the most sought after books of 2020. It would also make a great film. I would definitely recommend The God Game by Danny Tobey to those aged 16+ who love thrilling plots that really make you think. Give The God Game a read. It will sink its teeth in you from the very first page!
--
(A special thank you to St. Martin's Press for providing me with a paperback ARC of The God Game by Danny Tobey in exchange for an unbiased and honest review.)
With the way the digital age is going, the plot of The God Game sounded like it could already be happening in real life. A bunch of teens decide to play a random game with what they suspect is just some kind of artificial intelligence. However, when God (the AI in The God Game) starts asking them to do some highly illegal and dangerous activities as well as activities that make the teens question their morality, they start to think that maybe they are in over their heads. Will the teens be able to quit the game or will death be the only way out? Don't get me wrong. The plot has been done before, but Danny Tobey put his own original spin on the idea and made it where it comes across as a fresh idea. As I mentioned earlier, The God Game comes across as being very realistic. While I feel that there are no major plot twists and that the book is fairly predictable in some places, The God Game is still a highly entertaining read. Tobey gives his readers enough information at the end of the book to leave them satisfied, but he still leaves it somewhat open ended for a possible sequel.
The God Game flowed very smoothly, and I felt like the pacing was perfect. Not once did I feel like the book became too dull or that it was going to fast. The transitions between chapters was very spot on which made The God Game an easy read for me. It was so easy to lose myself in this novel as I became completely immersed in the world Tobey had created.
A couple of things that kind of bothered me, and they seem to be more personal preference than a fault with the story, is the mentions of politics and how anti-God/Christianity The God Game seemed to be. I'm not a political person by any means. In fact, I don't lean one way or the other when it comes to politics. However, I felt like politics were mentioned way too much in this book. It's very obvious that the author is very anti-Trump. If I wanted to read a book about politics, I'd read a political thriller or something similar. I didn't like how this book seems to poke fun at those that believe in God. It comes across as if the author is trying to challenge the beliefs of those who believe in God. I get that The God Game has God in its title and is about an AI that believes it's God, but I felt that the way the author speaks about God came off as a bit crass. However, those were minor issues for me, and I still enjoyed reading The God Game very much.
I felt that all of the main and supporting characters in The God Game were written superbly. The God Game had such a diverse group of characters throughout which was refreshing to see. I enjoyed reading about Charlie and his thoughts. He seemed conflicted the most with everything that was happening. It was great to read about how much he cared about his friends as well as other people. Charlie came across as a stand up guy. Vanhi was my favorite character. She was such a badass that I couldn't help but to love her! I felt like she was the second most conflicted character. I just felt sorry for what Alex was going through. My heart ached for him. Kenny was a great character too, and it was interesting what the game would ask him to do. I never quite knew what to make of Peter. He was written well, and he came across as very charismatic which made me suspicious of him throughout the whole novel. I did admire how much he would throw himself into something though.
Trigger warnings for The God Game include violence, profanity, drug use, politics, challenging the existence of God, racism, sexual situations (although not graphic), and murder.
Overall, The God Game is a highly thrilling read. With such an interesting cast of characters as well as a highly thought provoking plot, I wouldn't be surprised if The God Game became one of the most sought after books of 2020. It would also make a great film. I would definitely recommend The God Game by Danny Tobey to those aged 16+ who love thrilling plots that really make you think. Give The God Game a read. It will sink its teeth in you from the very first page!
--
(A special thank you to St. Martin's Press for providing me with a paperback ARC of The God Game by Danny Tobey in exchange for an unbiased and honest review.)