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Cigarette Teeth
Cigarette Teeth
Maul Allan Hewish | 2020 | Horror, Science Fiction/Fantasy, Thriller
9
9.0 (1 Ratings)
Book Rating
Great writing (1 more)
Amazing descriptions
In this day-and-age, everyone is willing to do anything to get what they want. People leave their morals and values behind at the drop of a hat. Partly, because of this, mental illness is at an all-time high and happiness is at an all-time low.

What if I told you there was a phone number you could call that would give you whatever you wanted...for a simple favor in return? Enter : Cigarette Teeth. The horror novel concerns two different places that exist in our world: the Pleasure Palace, where the Magician resides in an overcast of red light where he helps make peoples' 'dreams' come true, and our reality - - - the world as we've grown to know it.

Our main character, Mike Hadley, can't remember his past or how he ended up working for the Magician, but he's more than happy to do what he's told in Cigarette Teeth. Some things seem familiar to him, like his working partner, Tommy; but if you asked him what he did last night for the Magician, he wouldn't be able to tell you or remember it himself. Harper, a man Hadley meets early on in the story, who is the stereo-typical hardened detective, tells Hadley that he knows that the Pleasure Palace has been the cause of hundreds of disappearances - - - including Harper's own brother and sister- - - and demands that Hadley help him get into the Palace to find them.

Hadley is kidnapped by Harper while people working for the Pleasure Palace begin to come after them, trying to kill them. Unlike Hadley, Harper has done a lot of detective work on the Pleasure Palace and knows much more than he does. For Hadley, a lot of things begin to make sense and no sense at the same time, like people who work for the Pleasure Palace can't die, instead they regenerate in a very gruesome way- - - something he had never seen happen before. Now, being away from the Palace, whenever Hadley falls asleep, memories start to come back to him in the form of dreams; most of them take place in metaphorical places that slowly unwrap his tragic past to the reader.

I often found myself fascinated by the characters Hewish came up with that live in the Pleasure Palace. One being the Zipper Sisters: "Kela and and Lua Von Zipper. Conjoined twins; connected at the hip and zipped into the one gigantic pinched- leather corset. Two heads, two arms, and four legs, all sealed in an ornate, Victorian-style leather dress hemmed with black lace.

Their makeup was corpse-white, their lipstick blood red. Their eyes were shadowed with a weeping pastel green, like something from a carnival sideshow. Their 18th-century dress continued with ruffles and lacy stockings, all the colour of snow. The two pairs of shoes they wore- - - shiny little school shoes, the ones with the clasps over the top- - - completed the look. It gave these sinister twins a suggested air of innocence- - - the filthiest of lies. "

When the pair meet with the Architect of the Pleasure Palace (Horitoshi Li), the story really begins to take off. The information given to them by Li about the Magician is the real start to their journey to stop the Palace and find Harper's missing siblings, as long as they include Li in the plan.

As expected, a friend of Harper's, named Sophie, gets caught up in their journey- - - saving their lives more than once, thanks to her nursing background. Sophie felt like a filler character at first, but in the end, I think she was needed to make the story well-rounded, like her insight of psychology: "...But...it's just interesting. Did you know the second most common dream people have is about their teeth? After the 'being chased' phenomenon that usually coincides with a hallway and a door. Most notable psychologists don't really offer insight on dreams- - - the most popular consensus is that they're nothing more than cerebral static, just garbled images and words that occasionally form to make something that seems to have weight..."

Though I want to say so much more about the novel, it would give away a lot of the surprises that are hidden inside. Hewish's writing is gold; the way he describes scenes is beautifully done, but he did waste some of this talent on places where the characters weren't even there for more than a scene (and nothing really came of it). Also, Harper states one time early in the book that he has killed Hadley before... this is never explained or spoken of again. I think that was a very important part to this story, especially with how things turn out between Harper and Hadley.

There were only a few inconsistencies that are completely able to be looked over and don't ruin the novel. This is master storytelling, and I am looking very forward to more work by Hewish! I would recommend this book to fans of the show "Twin Peaks," and the video game (because I love horror video games) "Evil Within." Highly recommend!
  
Eleanor Oliphant Is Completely Fine
Eleanor Oliphant Is Completely Fine
Gail Honeyman | 2017 | Contemporary, Fiction & Poetry
9
8.6 (80 Ratings)
Book Rating
funny (3 more)
heartbreaking
tender
beautiful
Eleanor Oliphant leads a simple, albeit lonely, life. Up in the morning, head to work, and heads down at the office (with a solo break for lunch and the crossword). She spends her evenings and weekends alone--typically with a book, the TV, and a lot vodka. Every Wednesday evening, she speaks on the phone with her mother (Mummy)-- always a painful conversation as her mother is judgemental and exacting. Then one day, Eleanor and Raymond, the slightly oafish IT guy from her office, save the elderly Sammy, who has fallen on the sidewalk. The act turns out to change Eleanor's life--bringing her into Sammy's life and that of his boisterous family--and involving her more with Raymond, as well. Suddenly, it's almost as if Eleanor and Raymond are friends and Eleanor isn't completely lonely anymore. But can her friendship with Raymond erase the sadness in her life?

This book, oh this book. Wow, what a journey. I'm so very glad I finally picked it up. Where do I even begin? First of all, Honeyman captures the voice of Eleanor perfectly. I was honestly a bit surprised when I started this one. I'd been expecting a slightly quirky character (a la the lead in THE ROSIE PROJECT), but there's far more depth and darkness to Eleanor (and her tale) than I imagined. It took me a little longer to get into the story, but once I was: wow. You can visualize Eleanor and her supporting cast so clearly. Raymond comes across effortlessly too. The plot is striking-- an amazing combination of heartbreaking and tender. My heart truly broke for dear Eleanor at times.

I was intrigued by the fact that there's no real huge story, per se, to this novel--it's just Eleanor finding her way in the world. As mentioned, Eleanor and Raymond assist Sammy, and this jolts Eleanor out of her life built around routine and sameness. Forced to come out of her shell, she suddenly sees some things in a new light--her appearance, her job, her friendships (or lack thereof), her apartment, and more. The way Honeyman presents the world--through Eleanor's eyes--is uncanny. I cannot describe how well she captures her diction and how aghast Eleanor is sometimes by the world around her (dirty books from the library, people who waste her time with conversation, the food people eat and how they eat, etc.).

At the same time, you realize how much Eleanor is formed by her childhood, or lack thereof, and it's just... striking. How Honeyman gets this all across in words is amazing. The unexpected darkness and sadness that comes across in the novel and the added layer of suspense she casts as we ponder Eleanor's tragic childhood: it's chilling. The entire book is mesmerizing and beautiful.

That's not to say the book isn't funny or enjoyable, too. Eleanor is her own person, and she's witty and true to her self, for sure. You will find yourself rooting for her personality quirks (of which there are many) and all. If Eleanor's attempts to understand the world don't tug at your heartstrings, I'm not sure anything will (and I'm pretty tough nut to crack when reading, mind you). I was worried that perhaps the moral would be that Eleanor would have to change herself to find happiness, but no, I don't think that was Honeyman's ultimate intent, even if Eleanor does make some "improvements" along the way. (I won't say more for risk of spoilers.) Also, I loved Raymond, as well; his mother; Glen (!!!!); and so many other parts of the story that made me smile. Seriously, even with its sad parts, this book just makes you happy.

Ultimately, this is lovely book, with beautiful, well-written characters. The tale of Eleanor Oliphant will stay with me for a long time, and I'm so glad I finally decided to read this book. Honeyman is an excellent writer, her depiction of Eleanor is gorgeous and heart-rendering and the few flaws I found with this were so minor, as I was left just awed by the end. One of my favorites so far this year.
  
The Girl in the Spider's Web (2018)
The Girl in the Spider's Web (2018)
2018 | Crime, Drama, Thriller
Disappointingly Average
I love The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo series. The Swedish films are excellent and David Fincher’s US adaptation was a decent watch too. Lisbeth Salander is such an iconic and well-written character, so her return to the big screen was met with much anticipation. With a new cast and new story I was looking forward to seeing it, catching a Limitless preview screening a few days before its general UK release. Unfortunately, it didn’t live up to my relatively high expectations.

The biggest insult to this film is its trailer. It gives away EVERYTHING so if you’ve seen the trailer, you’ve basically seen the entire film condensed down into a few minutes. All the best scenes and key moments have been awkwardly crammed into its promotion, to the point where I was able to predict exactly what was going to happen. I felt very let down by this and it seriously ruined my ability to enjoy the film properly. It deserved a much more ambiguous trailer, letting the mystery be revealed throughout the full narrative instead.

The film is redeemed somewhat by the performances. Claire Foy is a fantastic Lisbeth Salander, putting her all into this performance and fully embodying the badass, bisexual cyber-hacker that we all know and love. She is slick, smart and sexually charged, and is a worthy successor to both Noomi Rapace and Rooney Mara. If anything, Foy deserved a better film because this story really didn’t do her much justice and that’s not her fault.

It was also interesting to see British comedian Stephen Merchant in a much more serious role, proving that he is able to step out of his comfort zone. His character, Frans Balder, is a complex one despite his lack of screen time, and I was convinced by his take on the character. Despite his relatively small role, I found him more interesting than some of the main characters.

Security expert Edwin Needham is utterly forgettable, and his character wasn’t strong enough to get much interest from me. In a similar vein, Millenium journalist Mikael Blomkvist barely even made an appearance and considering he’s been a key character in the novels and in Lisbeth’s life, this was disappointing for me. I haven’t read the novel yet so I’m unsure if this is true to the original story, but it was a shame he didn’t feature more.

Because this film focuses primarily on Salander and twin sister, Camilla, I was relieved that I at least enjoyed scenes featuring the two of them. Sylvia Hoeks is a terrifying and powerful on-screen presence, from her mannerisms to her costume design. The fractured relationship between the two sisters is fascinating and runs deep, but seems to be glossed over at times. Foy and Hoeks did their best with the script they had, but I still found the narrative jumbled and rushed in places, favouring drawn-out action over scenes with any real substance.

Sure, the action sequences are well-shot and full of adrenaline but when they replace actual narrative coherence, we have a problem. There’s too much going on, there’s plot holes, and filler scenes that really didn’t need to be there. I know two hours isn’t really a lot of screen time to play with, but it could’ve been so much better than this.

The Girl In The Spider’s Web is nothing like the complex thriller I was expecting it to be, cramming far too much into its runtime and leaving me feeling dissatisfied. It’s entertaining in its own way and if you’re mainly looking looking for chase sequences, fast cars and action, then you’ll probably have a good time. There are some great scenes and lines of dialogue, but not enough to fully redeem itself. I don’t necessarily regret watching it, but I won’t be watching again. It’s a forgettable action film.

If you want to see Lisbeth Salander and co. at their best, catch the Swedish films instead.

https://lucygoestohollywood.com/2018/11/28/disappointingly-average-a-review-of-the-girl-in-the-spiders-web/
  
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Hazel (1853 KP) rated Black Box in Books

Dec 14, 2018  
BB
Black Box
Cassia Leo | 2014
8
8.0 (1 Ratings)
Book Rating
My rating: 3.5

<i>This eBook was provided by the publisher via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review</i>

Before beginning this book readers need to be aware, particularly those of a more fragile nature, that it contains themes of mental illness, sexual abuse and suicidal tendencies; but that does not mean this is not a great book. The strap line on the cover of <i>Black Box</i> by Cassia Leo says “Not just another love story” implying that whilst it does fall under the romantic genre there is something more to the novel.

The book begins, in a way, with a cliffhanger. The date is January 8th and the narrator appears to be about to experience, and possibly die, in a plane crash. Before the author reveals the outcome she back tracks to January 3rd where the story, <i>Black Box</i>, genuinely begins.

There are two main characters and the narrative constantly changes from one point of view to the other. This helps the reader to understand both characters’ experiences: past and present. Nineteen-year old Mikki wants to kill herself. She has tried more than once in the past but this time she has a more detailed plan, one that her family would be unable to interfere with. By lying about her real intentions she books a flight to Los Angeles to get as far away from Boston as she can, however she does not anticipate the severe snowy weather which cancels all flights for the next few days.

 Stranded at the airport she meets Crush, a guitar playing Harvard student who was meant to be on the same flight as her. With the niggling feeling that he has met her before, Crush convinces Mikki to go to a coffee shop with him and later, sensing her reluctance to return home, offers to share a double bedroom suite with her at a local hotel until the flights can be rescheduled. During this time together Crush works out why he recognizes Mikki. He once saved her life after she was physically abused and can prove this as he left the only copy of a book his grandpa wrote, titled <i>Black Box</i>, with her that night; a book she still possesses.

The few days they spend in each other’s company helps Mikki more than the years of therapy she has endured since being diagnosed with bipolar. It also helps Crush deal with his own demons and both of them begin to realize they want to live. They also have fallen in love for the first time in their lives and begin to believe they were meant to be together.

It always seems unrealistic that characters in novels fall in love so quickly but their devastating pasts make the reader yearn for them to stay together; they both deserve some happiness and a life worth living. The first person narratives are written so well it is like reading a true story rather than fiction, which makes their experiences even more distressing. Sadly there are people in the world that would be able to relate to either Mikki or Crush, and depending on their current situation may prefer not to read this book. However, Leo has mentioned in her acknowledgments that readers have contacted her to share their own personal experiences.

The downside of this novel was the use of foul language. That may not bother some people, and it is evident that the world today is less shocked by swear words, but it is not necessary to include so much of it. The language was probably intended to make it more realistic and emphasize the pain the two characters feel. If it had only been during the dialogue that these words were used it would have been better than reading them throughout the narrative.

Although shocking and dark in nature, <i>Black Box</i> gets very gripping, especially as life seems to be looking up for Mikki, yet the reader has already read about the upcoming plane crash. With breath held in hope that everything will turn out okay, it is easy to rush through the final chapters. Whether or not there is a happy ending is something you will have to find out by reading it…
  
A Library of Lemons
A Library of Lemons
Jo Cotterill | 2016 | Young Adult (YA)
8
8.0 (1 Ratings)
Book Rating
<i>This ebook was provided by the publisher via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review

A Library of Lemons</i> is the most recent novel by children’s author Jo Cotterill. It is a moving story about a child’s perception of a life heavily affected by loss and grief, and the impact a positive friendship can bring. Calypso is only ten years old but has the reading age of someone much older. In fact she loves books so much that she prefers them to interacting with other people. Since her mother’s death five years previously, Calypso’s father has distanced himself from the world, focusing on writing and reading in his study, and has encouraged his only daughter to do the same: “be your own best friend.” However, a new girl at school causes Calypso to question and change the way she views the world.

Despite never having had a friend at school, Calypso quickly develops a strong friendship with Mae who also has a passion for reading. The difference is Mae lets herself feel emotion and is happy to let other people into her life, a concept that is initially alien to Calypso. As time goes on Calypso realizes she is the happiest she has ever been and that Mae has filled a gap she did not know was there. Regrettably, her newfound contentment is shattered on discovering that something is wrong with her father, and that he has developed an unhealthy obsession with lemons…

From the very beginning the reader is shown how difficult Calypso’s life is. She often comes home to a cold, dark house where she has to fix herself her own dinner from a very limited supply of food. Yet until Calypso meets Mae, she does not realize that there is anything wrong with this. Once Calypso learns that her father is suffering with depression – something that older readers will already have guessed – she sees how unfair life is for her and notices that she is very different from other children her age. This is a heartbreaking situation for readers to imagine, but Calypso’s strength as a young carer is admirable – similarly to characters in some of her favourite books, such as<i> Anne of Green Gables</i>.

There are so many well-known novels referenced in <i>A Library of Lemons</i>, which emphasizes Calypso’s love of literature. Although Cotterill has included children’s classics amongst these titles, it is doubtful that young readers will be familiar with them all. This poses the problem that certain allusions to characters or storylines will be lost, however if the youngsters are just as passionate about reading as Calypso is, they may be inspired to seek out these famous works.

I was initially drawn to <i>A Library of Lemons</i> because I had loved Cotterill’s previous novel, <i>Looking at the Stars</i>. I was not aware at first that this novel tackled mental illness – which was not a problem as I often read books of that genre – but I was expecting something powerful and moving. And that is what I got. I much preferred <i>Looking at the Stars</i>, which I thought was a lot more emotional and shocking – a refugee camp in a third world country – however <i>A Library of Lemons</i> is still a beautiful story with deep and quotable prose.

Before I finish this review I would like to praise Cotterill for the way she dealt with the taboo subject of mental illness. Often illnesses of this nature are either glamourized or stigmatized, neither of which occurred in this novel. Cotterill’s portrayal of depression and its affects on both sufferer and child are extremely realistic. The way that the book ends is also true-to-life. There is no happy ever after, no amazing cure – but there is hope, a glimpse of recovery and a better future.

Although Calypso is ten, her advanced reading age and the difficult subject matter result in a book that is more suitable for young teenagers. Young and old adults will also enjoy it too, especially those who can relate to certain situations Calypso has to deal with. <i>A Library of Lemons</i> is definitely a story to read if you are a lover of books - a bookworm. You will not be disappointed.
  
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Lee (2222 KP) rated The Mule (2018) in Movies

Jan 29, 2019 (Updated Jan 29, 2019)  
The Mule (2018)
The Mule (2018)
2018 | Crime, Drama, Mystery
Clint Eastwood, still going strong! (0 more)
Some seriously underused talent in the form of Bradley Cooper, Michael Peña and Taissa Farmiga (0 more)
A simple, enjoyable story
It appears there's just no stopping Clint Eastwood. Not only does he star in The Mule, a movie 'inspired by a true story', but he's also on producing and directing duties too. Just when you think you've seen him in his last ever role, he's back, 88 years old and still going strong!

Eastwood is Earl Stone, a highly successful horticulturist and Korean war veteran who we first meet in 2005. He arrives at a horticulture convention where he charms the ladies, engages in friendly competitive banter with other exhibitors and sneers at the guy promoting a new way of ordering flowers over the internet, before going on to win first prize for best bloom. But over the years all of this success has been at the expense of his family and while he's buying everyone in the bar a drink to celebrate his win, his daughter is getting married, wondering where her father is while her mother consoles her. A life on the road devoted to work has lost Earl the most important thing in life.

Shifting forward 12 years to 2017 and Earl has been forced to close up the flower business, blaming the damn internet for it all. He pays off his farm workers as best he can before heading off to his granddaughters house where she is holding a garden party. His presence only causes tension though - his daughter can't bear to be anywhere near him, while his ex wife takes the opportunity to once again give him a piece of her mind, disappointed that despite a lifelong devotion to work, he now can't even afford to help pay for his granddaughters upcoming wedding.

So when an offer comes his way, working as a mule for the cartel in return for good money, Earl accepts. An old man traveling, with no previous speeding tickets, is less likely to be stopped than the traditional Latinos they usually use, and Earl benefits by continuing his love of traveling the country in his trusty old truck. He tries the charming old man routine with the cartel members he comes into contact with on both sides of his deliveries, with varying degrees of success, but in-between he manages to just enjoy life - driving on the open road, singing along to the radio for hours on end. And the money certainly is good - Earl is able to buy a brand new truck, help pay for his granddaughters wedding and even help prevent a bar he's been going to for the last 50 or so years from closing. He gradually becomes more trusted within the cartel, becoming responsible for transporting increasingly larger quantities of drugs and drawing the attention of the more powerful cartel members. Attending big parties at their lavish houses, dancing with bikini clad girls and engaging in threesomes, this ninety something certainly is making the most of his twilight years! As power shifts within the cartel and Earl gets drawn deeper in, he finds himself having to decide between the cartel and his family. A decision with very different but serious consequences depending on which path he chooses.

All the while Earl is having his fun, the net is closing in on him in the form of a couple of DEA agents played by Bradley Cooper and Michael Peña. Under pressure to secure a bust from boss Lawrence Fishburne, they're getting closer and closer to capturing the cartels top mule. All three of these actors are seriously underused though in what are essentially pretty standard cop roles.

The Mule is a fairly simple movie with no big sense of drama, and certainly no Breaking Bad levels of cartel tension. However, I was never bored at any point and just found myself completely engrossed in it all, swept along by the genial nature of Earl and what was an enjoyable, sentimental story.
  
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Erika (17788 KP) Jan 29, 2019

I was surprised that I actually really liked this film... and apparently I never wrote a review of it.

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Lee (2222 KP) Jan 29, 2019

I've seen a lot of negativity out there for this. I was surprised I liked it too.

Lucy in the Sky (2019)
Lucy in the Sky (2019)
2019 | Drama, Sci-Fi
Natalie Portman and Jon Hamm together (1 more)
Interesting premise
Story doesn't deliver a satisfactory payoff. (0 more)
Mind. Blown - A thoughtful film that's hard to like.
Natalie Portman plays the eponymous Lucy Cola, a NASA astronaut who has achieved her ambition of reaching space and experienced the enormity of the universe first hand. Her mind is officially blown. Such that, on returning to earth, nothing seems ‘enough’ any more. Her family; her comfortable home; her life.

She becomes desperate to be selected for the next program… to get that literal) ‘high’ all over again. So desperate that her mind and morals burn up on trying to re-enter.

You look at the career choices of Natalie Portman, and they have often revolved around cool and detached woman: “Black Swan” and “Jackie” for example. Here, looking incredibly fit and strong (as you would expect from an astronaut at the peak of her powers) , she again plays something of an ice queen. She is – of course – brilliant at it.

Starring with her here is the ever-watchable Jon Hamm as fellow astronaut Mark Goodwin, the omni-present – at the moment – Zazie Beetz as a fellow program competitor and Dan Stevens (from “Downton”) as her exasperated colleague and husband Drew. (Stevens was COMPLETELY UNRECOGNISABLE to me in this movie…. just like in “Beauty and the Beast“! To the extent that I had to wind back the film from the end-titles after seeing his name to check!).

This was always a film that was going to struggle to identify its audience. Yes, it starts in space, but it is in NO WAY a “Sci-Fi” movie (which is one of its tags on IMDB. Shameful!). This is a drama about a woman progressively losing her grip on reality: almost a PTSD movie, but without the “S” being “T” in the normal sense of things.

Lucy’s ‘other-worldliness’ is reflected in the aspect ratio of the movie, which varies from a claustrophobic ‘old-TV’ format 4:3 ratio to a ratio bordering on ‘Cinemascope’. (This makes for a very challenging watch on a small airline TV screen, as I was doing!). It’s a motif that’s obviously meant to reflect Lucy’s drifting grip on reality. But it eventually gets irritating…. I had the sense that first-time feature director Noah Hawley was ‘trying too hard’ for something quirky and different.

Far more successful is a ‘green-screened’ trippy sequence seeing Lucy being transported to a hospital bedside to the rendition of The Beatles iconic song, performed by Lucy Hannigan (listen here). It’s dreamlike and unsettling. In fact, one of the high-spots of the movie for me was Jeff Russo‘s score, which I have made a mental note to make sure to listen to again on Spotify. It’s more electronica than orchestral but matches the mood of the film really well.

But, here’s the thing. I didn’t enjoy it. The problem is (and no spoilers here) that Portman’s Lucy is such a downright BITCH that it is impossible to warm to her as the movie’s star. There is, in fact, only one of the characters that you really side with, and she’s the one doing the most damage to them.

This shouldn’t be a problem to the story, since the film is reflecting (loosely) true events: the astronauts in question were Lisa Nowak and William Oefelein. And there are lots of ‘feel-bad’ films about mental illness (“One Flew over the Cuckoo’s Nest”, for example) that stand on their own merits. But this one just seemed to be a fairly miserable and destructive story that didn’t have enough of a payoff – either positive or negative – to merit the journey.

This was disappointing, since after hearing the premise, I’d been looking forward to this one.

For those who love movies, and the way movies are structured, it is an interesting watch. But it is not by any stretch an entertaining mainstream movie. The director Noah Hawley will need to do better in the “commercially-appealing” stakes for his next film: since he’s been (rather surprisingly) given the helm for the sequel to “Star Trek: Beyond“.

(For the full graphical review, check out the review on One Mann's Movies here - https://bob-the-movie-man.com/2020/03/09/one-manns-movies-dvd-review-lucy-in-the-sky-2019/ ).
  
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TheDefunctDiva (304 KP) rated The Fly (1986) in Movies

Mar 13, 2021 (Updated Mar 15, 2021)  
The Fly (1986)
The Fly (1986)
1986 | Horror, Sci-Fi
Jeff Goldblum seems to star as himself. Always a plus. (0 more)
That ex! (0 more)
Come Fly With Me...
Contains spoilers, click to show
The Fly, Directed by David Cronenberg, 1986

To the victor go the spoils. To the reader, go the spoilers.

We watched The Fly the other night. I observed, with fond amusement, that the energetic and quirky Jeff Goldblum always seems to star as himself. In this film, he plays a scientist named Seth Brundle. His offbeat handsomeness pairs well with the pale beauty of Geena Davis, who stars alongside him as journalist Veronica Quaife. As the two characters hit it off, I tried to ignore the fact that Goldblum’s character came off as somewhat creepy.

Then we were introduced to Veronica’s ex-boyfriend, who is also her boss. Stathis, played by John Getz, is unhinged. His performance was exaggerated, almost a caricature. He presents himself as the pinnacle alpha-male. Talk about a stalker. His attempts to control Veronica, and his jealousy, were epic. I commented that the scariest thing about this movie was Veronica’s ex. Little did I know what the rest of the film had in store.

Seth, an undiscovered genius, has invented a transporter. Seth shows Veronica how his invention works by transporting her stocking from one pod to another. Veronica wants to publish a story about it, but Seth insists that his technology is not ready. Seth and Veronica become involved, and she helps document his experiments.

Later, things get hairy. Naturally, they want to see if the pods are capable of transporting living beings. Instead of experimenting on a bug, or a mouse, or a smaller creature, they attempt to transport a full-sized monkey.

Suffice to say, things do not go well. Kudos to the special effects team for creating that pile of retch.

More modifications are made, and another monkey survives the transportation trip.

The romance grows between Seth and Veronica. I had a hard time buying into the chemistry between Goldblum and Davis. They both seemed a little distant. Regardless, the love story pushes forward. There is even talk of the pair going away together “like an old married couple.” Then Veronica’s boss throws a wrench in the mix. Veronica is forced to deal with his antics. Seth, who is also a bit of a jealous type, gets drunk and sends himself through the transporter, since the monkey seemed fine.

Then there comes the stuff of nightmares. Seth isn’t himself. He is immediately charged with manic energy. He performs quite an impressive gymnastics routine (thank you, stunt Goldblum).Veronica is clearly distraught that her boyfriend is losing it.

The physical metamorphosis begins. Seth develops weird, wiry hairs protruding from a cut on his back. His sex drive goes wonky, and when he alienates Veronica, he finds a random lady from a bar to sleep with. His complexion worsens dramatically. He discovers that his machine has melded his genetic information with the DNA of a fly that was in the pod of the transporter with him. THE DNA FUSED AT A MOLECULAR LEVEL. This, my dear viewers, is not good. Not the sort of thing you can get addressed at your nearest urgent care clinic.

Things get worse, and incredibly gross, from there. Fingernails fall off and bug juice oozes. The makeup and special effects departments did an extremely convincing job. I felt incredibly bad for this seemingly highly intelligent man. My boyfriend kept calling for a flame thrower.

Veronica tries to help, and is empathetic. But watching your newfound love deteriorate so rapidly, and being powerless to help, is extremely traumatic. Davis brought her A-game to this portion of the performance. And, true to the sci-fi soap opera plot, she discovers that she is pregnant with Seth’s baby.

I don’t want to spoil the ending for you. But do you imagine this story ends well? I had hope. But it was squashed like a bug. If you have the stomach for good, old-fashioned movie gore, and you like Weird Science with a touch of Bad Romance, this film is for you.
  
I, Tonya (2017)
I, Tonya (2017)
2017 | Biography, Drama, Sport
Some Darwin award winners.
Man, I personally found this one to be an exceedingly uncomfortable watch.

“I, Tonya” is cleverly filmed as a pseudo-documentary, featuring re-enactments of the real-life interviews of most of the participants in this true-life drama. I recently bitterly criticised some film critics for spoiling the story of Donald Crowhurst, the subject of the recent “The Mercy”. But I was about to do exactly the same here, *assuming* that you all know the lurid tale of the rivalry between Tonya Harding and Nancy Kerrigan that led up to an ‘event’ in 1994 that shocked the world. And of course, many of you younger folk don’t know: case in point my 26 year old son who I went to see this with, and who went into the story blissfully blind of the drama about to unfold. So I will try to keep this review spoiler-free.

Playing Tonya from a (not very credible!) 15 years old to her mid-20’s is Margot Robbie (“The Wolf of Wall Street”, “Suicide Squad”) in what is a BAFTA and Oscar nominated performance. And for good reason: the performance is raw, visceral and disturbing in reflecting a victim who still thinks everything at heart is her own fault.

Also BAFTA and Oscar nominated is Allison Janney (“The Girl on the Train”) as Tonya’s obnoxious chain-smoking mother LaVona. Janney is truly terrifying as the mother who abuses her daughter both physically and mentally in a driven attempt to make her the best ice-skater in the world.

Victims seem to attract abusers, and Tonya is surrounded by people who are just plain bad for her: notably her husband Jeff (Sebastian Stan, “The Martian”, “Captain America: Winter Soldier”) and his slimy and pitifully self-deluded friend Shawn (Paul Walter Hauser). The end credits video footage of the real-life players show just how well these parts were cast.

Why so uncomfortable to watch? There is a significant degree of domestic abuse featured in the film, both in terms of LaVona on her child and Jeff on his wife. This is something I abhor in general, having been brought up to believe it is never EVER acceptable to lay a hand on a woman. To have these cowardly individuals sensationalised in the movie I found to be really upsetting. I strongly feel, for this reason alone, that the film should have had an 18 certificate. Violence in film should be related to the context as well as the severity. (Note that this is in stark contrast to my comments of recent BBFC decisions to make “Phantom Thread” and “Lady Bird” 15-certificates when I believe they should have been 12A).

The film is executed extremely well, with 4:3 framing for the staged interviews, and ice skating scenes that seamlessly cut between the professional clearly doing the stunts and Robbie (who must also be a half decent skater too). The soundtrack is nicely littered – “Guardians of the Galaxy” style – with classic hits of the early 90’s.

To think that this story actually unfolded in this way is nothing short of astounding… but it did! There is an astonishing video clip here (#spoilers) of the run up to, and the immediate aftermath of, the Kerrigan incident. I came out of the film with a deep feeling of sadness for Harding (at least, as portrayed) and utter disgust that the villains of this piece could be a) so cruel and out of control and b) so utterly stupid. These are individuals who really should have been sterilised to stop them polluting the gene pool any further.

Written by Steven Rogers (“Stepmom”) and directed by Australian Craig Gillespie, there is no doubting that this is a powerful film: played to an absolutely silent and gripped Saturday night cinema audience. And it has truly dynamite performances from Allison Janney and Margot Robbie. But be warned that you’ll need a strong stomach to go and see it without being affected by it afterwards. It’s a mental keeper.