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ClareR (5885 KP) rated My Dark Vanessa in Books

Feb 9, 2020

My Dark Vanessa

Kate Elizabeth Russell | 2020 | Contemporary, Fiction & Poetry

9.6

(5 Ratings)

Book Rating

As soon as I started reading My Dark Vanessa, I questioned why I had chosen to read it. It’s a subject that I’d usually not even attempt to read as I find it too upsetting, but I’d heard such good things about it, and I was curious. And boy am I glad I read it. It’s an uncomfortable read though.

An insecure, lonely 15 year old is groomed by her much older teacher, Jacob Strane, and she is led to believe that it’s all on her own terms. She is in control. There are parts of this book that really distressed me, and I had to put the book down. However, I really felt for the main character, Vanessa. Even as a 35 year old woman, her life is still dictated by her relationship with Strane. These scenes where she is older, in a boring job, living in a tiny apartment and drinking too much, really made me see how Strane had ruined her life. She refuses to see it, however. Even when she is seeing a counsellor about the death of her father, she still sees no link between her feelings for Strane and how he affected her life before the death of her father. And when former female students blow the whistle on his abuse, Vanessa refuses to get involved. Strane tells her they’re lying, that they’re fantasists - and she believes him. He continues to control her for years after their sexual relationship ends.

I think the way that the narrative swapped between present day and the past, showing us how the ‘relationship’ developed, made it all the more stark. Everyone, including the reader, can see the abuse. Everyone except Vanessa. I don’t know what the laws about the age of consent are like in the USA, but I’m pretty certain that if he’d been found out in the UK, he would never have taught again. But of course I could be wrong.

For me, the end was a relief. I was glad I’d made it through - it was traumatic for me as a reader.

I’ve given this 5 stars, but I wouldn’t qualify this 5/5 with an “I loved it!” like I often do with my top marked books. I do think that this is an important book though, and to be perfectly honest, it’s beautifully written.

Many thanks to HarperCollins 4th Estate and NetGalley for my copy of this book to read and review.