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Ivana A. | Diary of Difference (1171 KP) rated Beast: A Tale of Love and Revenge in Books
Jul 16, 2018
Almost ruined my childhood favorite
One of my favorite books while I was growing up was the Beauty and the Beast. I usually love retellings,as they show me a different side of the story that might be, that I have never considered before. This book, however, almost ruined it all for me. The only reason it didn't was because I wouldn't let one bad retelling to ruin my childhood favorite!
The story is about Lucie, who is a servant in Jean Leup's palace. Through Lucie's story, we see Jean Leup as a horrible person who only cares about money and the respect he received from his aristocratic community. He treats the servants badly and doesn't even bother to look at them.
Lucie likes the thought of him. He is a very handsome man, and all she dreams about is for him to notice her. And one day, he does. And something really bad happens. Jean Leup does something horrible to Lucie.
[SPOILER - PLEASE CONTINUE CAUTIOUSLY]
He rapes her. And not only that this scene was very disturbing, it was also three pages long, with broad descriptions and it made be cringe badly. It made me hate everything and this was the part where I almost quit on reading this book.
[SPOILER FINISHED - YOU CAN CONTINUE READING]
After this big spoiler scene, the first reaction Lucie has is to kill herself. I am aware that this was a huge trauma for her, and people react differently, but if the author gives me this as a solution to her problem, do I want to continue reading? Is this really the lesson she learns?
With a bit of help of magic and wisdom words, she decides that now she wants for Jean Leup to suffer, and she wants to be able to see this happen. Suddenly, wish becomes a reality and the next thing we know, she is a candle that can't move, and Jean Leup has turned into a Beast.
Do you get the Beauty and the Beast reference now? We see the story from the candle's point of view, who is Lucie.
Well - not really!
Because here's the twist - the Beast doesn't remember what happened before. He doesn't know he was Jean Leup. He doesn't know he was bad in the past. The Beast is good by default, and a bit sad that he's alone in a big castle. So I have to ask again - Where is the lesson? Where is the punishment? If he can't remember he was bad, he'll never learn why he is a Beast.
To continue and shorten the story - Lucie (the candle) can talk to the Beast through her mind. The Beauty (Rose) comes to the castle and the story goes on. Lucie decides that she is in love with the Beast, and I won't reveal the rest, in case you want to read the book and see for yourself.
Now - I know that the author's point wasn't the lesson that the Beast learns as in the original story. Her point was to tell the story of the Beast, and Lucie, and how this tale can have a different plot, and ending, and back story. But I really believe that this was the wrong way of saying it, and it didn't leave a clear message.
The writing was poor, and it went from one moment to another, leaving me there in the middle, wondering what happened. One scene begins, and another starts before anything is finished. It was disorientated, and I felt lost in the first 40 pages.
This is a no from me, and I will give it 2 stars because I managed to finish it.
Thanks to Candlewick Press for providing me with an ARC e-copy via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
The story is about Lucie, who is a servant in Jean Leup's palace. Through Lucie's story, we see Jean Leup as a horrible person who only cares about money and the respect he received from his aristocratic community. He treats the servants badly and doesn't even bother to look at them.
Lucie likes the thought of him. He is a very handsome man, and all she dreams about is for him to notice her. And one day, he does. And something really bad happens. Jean Leup does something horrible to Lucie.
[SPOILER - PLEASE CONTINUE CAUTIOUSLY]
He rapes her. And not only that this scene was very disturbing, it was also three pages long, with broad descriptions and it made be cringe badly. It made me hate everything and this was the part where I almost quit on reading this book.
[SPOILER FINISHED - YOU CAN CONTINUE READING]
After this big spoiler scene, the first reaction Lucie has is to kill herself. I am aware that this was a huge trauma for her, and people react differently, but if the author gives me this as a solution to her problem, do I want to continue reading? Is this really the lesson she learns?
With a bit of help of magic and wisdom words, she decides that now she wants for Jean Leup to suffer, and she wants to be able to see this happen. Suddenly, wish becomes a reality and the next thing we know, she is a candle that can't move, and Jean Leup has turned into a Beast.
Do you get the Beauty and the Beast reference now? We see the story from the candle's point of view, who is Lucie.
Well - not really!
Because here's the twist - the Beast doesn't remember what happened before. He doesn't know he was Jean Leup. He doesn't know he was bad in the past. The Beast is good by default, and a bit sad that he's alone in a big castle. So I have to ask again - Where is the lesson? Where is the punishment? If he can't remember he was bad, he'll never learn why he is a Beast.
To continue and shorten the story - Lucie (the candle) can talk to the Beast through her mind. The Beauty (Rose) comes to the castle and the story goes on. Lucie decides that she is in love with the Beast, and I won't reveal the rest, in case you want to read the book and see for yourself.
Now - I know that the author's point wasn't the lesson that the Beast learns as in the original story. Her point was to tell the story of the Beast, and Lucie, and how this tale can have a different plot, and ending, and back story. But I really believe that this was the wrong way of saying it, and it didn't leave a clear message.
The writing was poor, and it went from one moment to another, leaving me there in the middle, wondering what happened. One scene begins, and another starts before anything is finished. It was disorientated, and I felt lost in the first 40 pages.
This is a no from me, and I will give it 2 stars because I managed to finish it.
Thanks to Candlewick Press for providing me with an ARC e-copy via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
Gareth von Kallenbach (980 KP) rated The Passion of the Christ (2004) in Movies
Aug 14, 2019
Perhaps the most controversial film of our time “The Passion of the Christ” has arrived amidst much speculation and controversy. Not since “The Last Temptation of Christ” has a film garnered so much controversy and that film did not have a mega-star like Mel Gibson attached to it nor a wide-release reported to reach 2500 screens in the U.S. alone.
The film shows the final hours of Jesus leading to his crucifixion and subsequent resurrection. The film opens with Jesus (Jim Caviezel), and some of his Disciples in the garden as Jesus contemplates what is to come and prays that this burden be passed from him if it is Gods will. Jesus is visibly afraid and is unsure of what to do, as he knows Judas has betrayed him and that troops are on the way to arrest him.
Jesus is soon arrested and is beaten and taken before the Jewish elders to be accused of heresy for teaching beliefs which contradict the locale doctrine and for encouraging others to follow his teachings.
Jesus is soon taken before the Roman consul who decides to punish not execute Jesus, as he does not believe his crimes are worthy of death. Politics soon envelope the situation as the Romans fear an uprising if the wishes of the council are not followed forcing Jesus to be ordered for crucifixion.
While I am not one to give away vital parts to a films story, I take it that the majority of readers will know at least this much of the story. The emphasis on the film is on what Jesus had to endure during the final hours of his life and the untold suffering and brutality that were put upon him for his beliefs.
Much has been made of the films intense and graphic violence and I am not going to sugar coat this. The film is very intense and very violent and on more than once occasion caused me to start tearing as the film is very emotional and it is hard to watch a person suffer especially one who many believe devoted his life for the betterment of all of us regardless of faith. I have always been one that believes that all people are entitled to their beliefs and that no group has the right to say that there way is the only way and that others are wrong for not following them.
In many ways, the film drives this point home as Jesus prays for the forgiveness of those who are killing him even though they do not share his faith. The man who was killed as a threat to the society and doctrines of the community never wavered in his love for his fellow man and retained his compassion to the very end.
Gibson is to be commended for making a powerful and emotional film that can be enjoyed by people of all faiths. The film is a visual masterpiece that is highly detailed and is the most accurate depiction of the final hours of Christ ever committed to film. The use of Latin and Aramaic in combination with subtitles underscores attention to detail that Gibson put into his labor of love and as such, he deserves praise for crafting this film regardless of your opinion on the films content. This is a bold and passionate film that attempts to tell the story in the way that it happened as accurately as possible. While some of the scenes may be very difficult to watch, you will not soon forget the images and will have a hard time not being emotionally moved by the work. This is not a film that blames any group for the death of Jesus; it is simply an account as to how and why it happened. The film also serves as a message that we should all embrace and tolerate the differences in our neighbors as when we do not, atrocities can happen. As a student of history, I found myself pondering during the film in regards to what would happen if a figure arrived today that encouraged others to follow a new path and not those of the traditional religions. If said person were to become widely know and develop a large following what would happen? Would they be called a cult and prosecuted, would they be ridiculed, or would they be killed? This troubled me as I think that despite nearly 2000 years of progress there are those who would resort to violence. Such is the case of the film. The majority did not want to see Jesus killed; it was a strong and vocal minority of the population who wanted to protect their interests. The film is not anti-Semitic and does not blame any group for the death of Jesus and emphasizes that his death was in order to absolve sin and blame.
The film makes you think and in this day of disposable films, it is nice to see that despite the controversy and lack of commercial nature of the film, Gibson put his heart into the production and created one of the best films of the decade. Gibson is a master storyteller and shows that he is a gifted director and producer and should be praised for his craft.
The film shows the final hours of Jesus leading to his crucifixion and subsequent resurrection. The film opens with Jesus (Jim Caviezel), and some of his Disciples in the garden as Jesus contemplates what is to come and prays that this burden be passed from him if it is Gods will. Jesus is visibly afraid and is unsure of what to do, as he knows Judas has betrayed him and that troops are on the way to arrest him.
Jesus is soon arrested and is beaten and taken before the Jewish elders to be accused of heresy for teaching beliefs which contradict the locale doctrine and for encouraging others to follow his teachings.
Jesus is soon taken before the Roman consul who decides to punish not execute Jesus, as he does not believe his crimes are worthy of death. Politics soon envelope the situation as the Romans fear an uprising if the wishes of the council are not followed forcing Jesus to be ordered for crucifixion.
While I am not one to give away vital parts to a films story, I take it that the majority of readers will know at least this much of the story. The emphasis on the film is on what Jesus had to endure during the final hours of his life and the untold suffering and brutality that were put upon him for his beliefs.
Much has been made of the films intense and graphic violence and I am not going to sugar coat this. The film is very intense and very violent and on more than once occasion caused me to start tearing as the film is very emotional and it is hard to watch a person suffer especially one who many believe devoted his life for the betterment of all of us regardless of faith. I have always been one that believes that all people are entitled to their beliefs and that no group has the right to say that there way is the only way and that others are wrong for not following them.
In many ways, the film drives this point home as Jesus prays for the forgiveness of those who are killing him even though they do not share his faith. The man who was killed as a threat to the society and doctrines of the community never wavered in his love for his fellow man and retained his compassion to the very end.
Gibson is to be commended for making a powerful and emotional film that can be enjoyed by people of all faiths. The film is a visual masterpiece that is highly detailed and is the most accurate depiction of the final hours of Christ ever committed to film. The use of Latin and Aramaic in combination with subtitles underscores attention to detail that Gibson put into his labor of love and as such, he deserves praise for crafting this film regardless of your opinion on the films content. This is a bold and passionate film that attempts to tell the story in the way that it happened as accurately as possible. While some of the scenes may be very difficult to watch, you will not soon forget the images and will have a hard time not being emotionally moved by the work. This is not a film that blames any group for the death of Jesus; it is simply an account as to how and why it happened. The film also serves as a message that we should all embrace and tolerate the differences in our neighbors as when we do not, atrocities can happen. As a student of history, I found myself pondering during the film in regards to what would happen if a figure arrived today that encouraged others to follow a new path and not those of the traditional religions. If said person were to become widely know and develop a large following what would happen? Would they be called a cult and prosecuted, would they be ridiculed, or would they be killed? This troubled me as I think that despite nearly 2000 years of progress there are those who would resort to violence. Such is the case of the film. The majority did not want to see Jesus killed; it was a strong and vocal minority of the population who wanted to protect their interests. The film is not anti-Semitic and does not blame any group for the death of Jesus and emphasizes that his death was in order to absolve sin and blame.
The film makes you think and in this day of disposable films, it is nice to see that despite the controversy and lack of commercial nature of the film, Gibson put his heart into the production and created one of the best films of the decade. Gibson is a master storyteller and shows that he is a gifted director and producer and should be praised for his craft.
Tiny Pirates - Activity Book
Education and Games
App
"Arrr - assemble your crew and set sail!" This app lets kids discover the world of pirates, helping...
ClareR (6054 KP) rated The Girl with the Green Eyes in Books
Dec 14, 2021
The Girl with the Green Eyes is a science-fiction novel set in an alternative present day - and a book that I very much enjoyed reading. You’re left thinking that the premis of this book could very well be possible, and it’s just that we don’t know about it (I should point out here that I’m no scientist. Not even a little bit of one, unless you count a love of sci-fi. Which no-one does…). But I do like the kind of science fiction where you’re left with the big question of: could this really be happening now?
So, this book is basically all about eugenics. The search for the perfect baby, the perfect human. Someone with perfection in every part of their genetic make-up. And the fact that there are people out there who are more than willing to pay for this service. The novel also shows that however much humans try to control every aspect of this process, there is an element of the uncontrollable. These babies, children and adults still throw up surprises, and show that they are, in fact, individuals, and that genetic manipulation can’t control everything. Not yet (at the time that this story is set, anyway!).
I won’t rewrite the synopsis, but I will add that this was an exciting game of cat and mouse. The reader is never quite sure who the ‘bad guys’ and the ‘good guys’ really are, because the whole morality of this is so hazy! What both sides are doing in this is most definitely morally dubious (and as the mother of a disabled son, this is often spoken about in this house - with the opinions of said son being very surprising!).
I will most definitely be looking out for the next two novels in this series. I’m a sucker for a strong, female character, and Bella D’accourt has some skills that I can really appreciate!
This is what The Pigeonhole does so well - I would have missed this book entirely if left to my own devices. So thanks, Pigeonhole, and huge thanks to J. M. Briscoe for reading along with us!
So, this book is basically all about eugenics. The search for the perfect baby, the perfect human. Someone with perfection in every part of their genetic make-up. And the fact that there are people out there who are more than willing to pay for this service. The novel also shows that however much humans try to control every aspect of this process, there is an element of the uncontrollable. These babies, children and adults still throw up surprises, and show that they are, in fact, individuals, and that genetic manipulation can’t control everything. Not yet (at the time that this story is set, anyway!).
I won’t rewrite the synopsis, but I will add that this was an exciting game of cat and mouse. The reader is never quite sure who the ‘bad guys’ and the ‘good guys’ really are, because the whole morality of this is so hazy! What both sides are doing in this is most definitely morally dubious (and as the mother of a disabled son, this is often spoken about in this house - with the opinions of said son being very surprising!).
I will most definitely be looking out for the next two novels in this series. I’m a sucker for a strong, female character, and Bella D’accourt has some skills that I can really appreciate!
This is what The Pigeonhole does so well - I would have missed this book entirely if left to my own devices. So thanks, Pigeonhole, and huge thanks to J. M. Briscoe for reading along with us!
Merissa (13600 KP) rated The Shape of Stars Unknown (The Aldarfall Saga #1) in Books
Jan 27, 2021 (Updated Aug 7, 2023)
THE SHAPE OF STARS UNKNOWN is the first book in the Aldarfall series, and settle yourself down because this is a hefty book!
We start off with Silver - she is alone in the world and kind of drifting. She is making do and trying to pay off debt, but nothing really zings for her. Then she meets Julian, who may be her saviour, maybe not. He leads her into a world where things are not as they appear.
Living just outside of Frankfurt myself, I loved reading about local places, even if the people are imaginary! I've never been to Tokyo, but I now have a better understanding of the place, given how in-depth the details were.
The pacing is perfect for this book. It is slow in places, even with action almost constantly going on, and yet is never too slow. Nor is it rushed, there are enough details that you need to read. This book is not for skim readers!
The world-building is excellent and I loved the characters. Lau is my favourite (obviously), but I love the relationship he has with Rafe, Julian, and then Silver. Each one is completely different and yet helps to make up who Lau is.
The epilogue was no surprise, but I really can't wait to see what happens next after the ending - yes, two different occasions.
It is unusual to find a book as long as this one but trust me when I tell you that you will be gripped for all 500+ pages. A surprisingly brilliant read that I thoroughly enjoyed and can't wait for book 2! Absolutely recommended by me.
* A copy of this book was provided to me with no requirements for a review. I voluntarily read this book, and the comments here are my honest opinion. *
Merissa
Archaeolibrarian - I Dig Good Books!
Jan 27, 2021
We start off with Silver - she is alone in the world and kind of drifting. She is making do and trying to pay off debt, but nothing really zings for her. Then she meets Julian, who may be her saviour, maybe not. He leads her into a world where things are not as they appear.
Living just outside of Frankfurt myself, I loved reading about local places, even if the people are imaginary! I've never been to Tokyo, but I now have a better understanding of the place, given how in-depth the details were.
The pacing is perfect for this book. It is slow in places, even with action almost constantly going on, and yet is never too slow. Nor is it rushed, there are enough details that you need to read. This book is not for skim readers!
The world-building is excellent and I loved the characters. Lau is my favourite (obviously), but I love the relationship he has with Rafe, Julian, and then Silver. Each one is completely different and yet helps to make up who Lau is.
The epilogue was no surprise, but I really can't wait to see what happens next after the ending - yes, two different occasions.
It is unusual to find a book as long as this one but trust me when I tell you that you will be gripped for all 500+ pages. A surprisingly brilliant read that I thoroughly enjoyed and can't wait for book 2! Absolutely recommended by me.
* A copy of this book was provided to me with no requirements for a review. I voluntarily read this book, and the comments here are my honest opinion. *
Merissa
Archaeolibrarian - I Dig Good Books!
Jan 27, 2021
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Your dream figure, at your fingertips The prospect of plastic surgery is both exciting and...
Kids Learning - Photo Touch Concepts
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"Learning concepts has never been this fun. My kids and students love this game!" Kathy Fox ...
A Bibliophagist (113 KP) rated Space Opera in Books
Jan 25, 2020 (Updated Jan 25, 2020)
Fun writing (2 more)
Creative
Witty
Overwritten (3 more)
Lacking plot
Disjointed and distracted
Boring
Technicolor Encyclopedia entry
Space Opera seems to be a book, that based on other reviews, you either love or hate. The love reviewers can't seem to tell me why they love it, most attempting to replicate the style of the author and relying on a menagerie of adjectives to express themselves. "A glitter punk, Eurovision romp!" "Technicolor whirlwind!" but not actually saying WHY they liked it, or just saying "well you didn't get the humor". The ones who disliked it are pretty clear, and as I struggled with this book I found I agreed with their complaints. However, I have to thank the sheer number of DNFs from the disliked group for causing me to, ironically, finish it. I hate DNFing books, to begin with, but when I saw just how many bad reviews didn't make it through, it felt as bad as the good reviews not actually reviewing anything. So I powered through, and honestly, it was worth finishing. The author really got back on track and it was a great ending.
Valente has in fact given us a Eurovision, glitter punk, electric baby with Douglas Adams, her writing fantastical and humorous, her characters vapid but in a washed-out musician kind of way. She really thought about this book, creating droves of aliens and probably destroying a number of thesauri to bring them to life. We follow Decibel Jones of the "oh you haven't heard of it, well we used to be a thing" Decibel Jones and the Absolute Zeros. A washed-up, no longer active glitter punk band who is an amalgam of every band you probably are thinking of when trying to grasp what that description means.
The book opens with a wonderfully witty description of how there is in fact other life out there in the universe, life is easy to come by, they've just been off doing a galactic war and while they were gone we kind of popped up. Life is stupid. This part is the best part of the book. The humor is on point, the prose magnificant. She is spot on and very pointed in her argument for why war happens. It's people vs meat, and how does one determine something isn't meat, but in fact sentient? Well, no one really figured that out, hence the galactic war, but NOW post-war they think they've figured it out. Intergalactic Music competition. Makes sense, only something sentient could create music right?
Well, this year is a special year because Earth is invited, we've been deemed "may be sentient", but questionable enough that they'd rather not let us just hang out and become annoying someday. So we have to present a band and performance for consideration. We just have to not place last. If we don't place last, we're part of the club and we'll be a-ok. If we place last, we'll be destroyed, because they already think we're annoying and that will mean we're meat. People vs meat remember?
So, one day everyone on the planet earth, everyone, awake or sleeping is visited by the blue birdlike projection of our assigned guides, the Esca, and alien species that are new to the whole being accepted as a sentient thing, and will guide us through the competition. Which it is now telling us about, Suprise! They've chosen a list of musicians they think will do well, however it's outdated and only one band is really able to do it, the has-beens, who are they, Decibel Jones and the Absolute Zeros. Time was rough on our glam-punk friends as it tends to be on musicians, they lost the third member about a decade ago, the two remaining no longer talk. Decibel is a trainwreck, and Oort St Ultraviolet is now just a dad who very much wants to be a regular dude. But now they're being whisked off into space to sing for the world's salvation.
Sounds pretty fun right? This plus Douglas Adams type prose and humor? A real knock out. Unfortunately, that story I just described takes up... maybe a quarter of the book, MAYBE. You can pull the main story out and put it into a book that might be too small to be a novella. Because of this, the backstory, development, and exploration of these characters are slim to nothing. There is some mind you, but very little. It isn't until the 180pg mark or so that Valente actually decides to focus on the plot, giving very little time to do the entire Grand Prix, the actual competition takes up a page. A 288-page book about a singing competition and only 1-2 pages is actually the singing competition. Tack on another 10 maybe for the weird cocktail death party right before, that didn't have enough attempted death to make any real point of it, plus maybe another 5-10 scattered throughout the book on the back story and leading up to the story, and we've got MAYBE 25 pages of the actual plot. My math is wrong, I know, but it sure FEELS like this.
So, in a 288-page book, with 25 pages being the actual story, what are the other 263 pages? It was the author being somewhat... I don't mean to sound mean, but full of herself? She tried WAY too hard on this style she was going for. It felt like an "oh, you liked that opening chapter, didn't you? You totally read it out loud to your boyfriend, well here let me give it to you again, and again, and ... again". This book suffers from a severe case of needing to be edited. Of someone saying "that's enough now dear, but what about the story". Every few pages of the backstory of the plot we got were met with full chapters, sometimes multiple of Valente describing yet another alien species she's created, in yet another chain of witty simile and metaphor. To the point where sometimes I no longer knew what was happening, they were all interchangeable, which alien are we talking about now? It went on and on and on, and I never knew how such humorous writing could be just so soul suckingly boring. When she ran out of aliens it was describing previous grand prix's and how the aliens sang. In the exact same, formulaic, witty simile, witty simile, witty simile. Don't get me wrong, there were some absolute gems in here. Some that made me laugh out loud. But it's all about the ratio. I would trade in a heartbeat the ratio in this book. 263 pages of plot, and 25 pages of aliens described in witty simile. It took everything in my power after the third alien chapter to not skim. But she fit so much into a sentence that I was scared somewhere hiding would be a plot point (spoiler alert, there wasn't, skim away).
Then around the 180 page mark, a flip was switched, it was almost as if she went "crap, a story!" the adjective use was slimmed down dramatically and we actually got more than one chapter in a row with a plot point. But at this point, it was too late, the end of the book was hurdling at us and very little had happened and the book pretty much fizzled out with an "oh yeah, the Grand Prix happened". Mind you, the finale was very heartwarming and I liked it a lot. I just wish I hadn't had to read a full chapter about hairbrush interspecies sex to get there, and instead had more of it. But ironically, the hairbrush sex had more plot advancement that the majority of the book.
The ending did, however, for one moment, make me forget that I had just read an encyclopedia of descriptors and was happy for a few minutes. So good on her for that. That proves to me that she can write more than glittery descriptions, which then made me sad I didn't have more of that writing. With just a spattering of the gold of her opening chapters. I am glad I finished the book, the story, what little there was, was worth the read. However, I have no desire to read any other of Valente's writing now, and if there was a sequel, I just don't think I have it in me to read another 263 pages of description. Cool idea, good ability, just terribly executed. She could easily have released a separate book, expanding on a handful of species she established in the book, like an alien compendium, and I would have read it, and laughed, and been okay because I went into it expecting it. But I went into this wanting a story, not a neon throwup encyclopedia of just how "oh so creative" Valente is. That came off harsh, I know, but they blew past the fine line of interesting and well into the self-serving, look what I can do, territory. What suffered for it wasn't just a large number of DNFs, and my sanity for a few days, but an actually interesting, fun, Eurovision, glitter punk, heartwarming story about loss, life, how stupid it is, how beautiful it is, and why we should fight for it. It's in there, hiding beneath the layers and layers of word vomit. I want that story. Please release a second edition that is just that, the opening, and say... 3-5 of your favorite aliens Valente, I promise I'll give it another try if you do.
Valente has in fact given us a Eurovision, glitter punk, electric baby with Douglas Adams, her writing fantastical and humorous, her characters vapid but in a washed-out musician kind of way. She really thought about this book, creating droves of aliens and probably destroying a number of thesauri to bring them to life. We follow Decibel Jones of the "oh you haven't heard of it, well we used to be a thing" Decibel Jones and the Absolute Zeros. A washed-up, no longer active glitter punk band who is an amalgam of every band you probably are thinking of when trying to grasp what that description means.
The book opens with a wonderfully witty description of how there is in fact other life out there in the universe, life is easy to come by, they've just been off doing a galactic war and while they were gone we kind of popped up. Life is stupid. This part is the best part of the book. The humor is on point, the prose magnificant. She is spot on and very pointed in her argument for why war happens. It's people vs meat, and how does one determine something isn't meat, but in fact sentient? Well, no one really figured that out, hence the galactic war, but NOW post-war they think they've figured it out. Intergalactic Music competition. Makes sense, only something sentient could create music right?
Well, this year is a special year because Earth is invited, we've been deemed "may be sentient", but questionable enough that they'd rather not let us just hang out and become annoying someday. So we have to present a band and performance for consideration. We just have to not place last. If we don't place last, we're part of the club and we'll be a-ok. If we place last, we'll be destroyed, because they already think we're annoying and that will mean we're meat. People vs meat remember?
So, one day everyone on the planet earth, everyone, awake or sleeping is visited by the blue birdlike projection of our assigned guides, the Esca, and alien species that are new to the whole being accepted as a sentient thing, and will guide us through the competition. Which it is now telling us about, Suprise! They've chosen a list of musicians they think will do well, however it's outdated and only one band is really able to do it, the has-beens, who are they, Decibel Jones and the Absolute Zeros. Time was rough on our glam-punk friends as it tends to be on musicians, they lost the third member about a decade ago, the two remaining no longer talk. Decibel is a trainwreck, and Oort St Ultraviolet is now just a dad who very much wants to be a regular dude. But now they're being whisked off into space to sing for the world's salvation.
Sounds pretty fun right? This plus Douglas Adams type prose and humor? A real knock out. Unfortunately, that story I just described takes up... maybe a quarter of the book, MAYBE. You can pull the main story out and put it into a book that might be too small to be a novella. Because of this, the backstory, development, and exploration of these characters are slim to nothing. There is some mind you, but very little. It isn't until the 180pg mark or so that Valente actually decides to focus on the plot, giving very little time to do the entire Grand Prix, the actual competition takes up a page. A 288-page book about a singing competition and only 1-2 pages is actually the singing competition. Tack on another 10 maybe for the weird cocktail death party right before, that didn't have enough attempted death to make any real point of it, plus maybe another 5-10 scattered throughout the book on the back story and leading up to the story, and we've got MAYBE 25 pages of the actual plot. My math is wrong, I know, but it sure FEELS like this.
So, in a 288-page book, with 25 pages being the actual story, what are the other 263 pages? It was the author being somewhat... I don't mean to sound mean, but full of herself? She tried WAY too hard on this style she was going for. It felt like an "oh, you liked that opening chapter, didn't you? You totally read it out loud to your boyfriend, well here let me give it to you again, and again, and ... again". This book suffers from a severe case of needing to be edited. Of someone saying "that's enough now dear, but what about the story". Every few pages of the backstory of the plot we got were met with full chapters, sometimes multiple of Valente describing yet another alien species she's created, in yet another chain of witty simile and metaphor. To the point where sometimes I no longer knew what was happening, they were all interchangeable, which alien are we talking about now? It went on and on and on, and I never knew how such humorous writing could be just so soul suckingly boring. When she ran out of aliens it was describing previous grand prix's and how the aliens sang. In the exact same, formulaic, witty simile, witty simile, witty simile. Don't get me wrong, there were some absolute gems in here. Some that made me laugh out loud. But it's all about the ratio. I would trade in a heartbeat the ratio in this book. 263 pages of plot, and 25 pages of aliens described in witty simile. It took everything in my power after the third alien chapter to not skim. But she fit so much into a sentence that I was scared somewhere hiding would be a plot point (spoiler alert, there wasn't, skim away).
Then around the 180 page mark, a flip was switched, it was almost as if she went "crap, a story!" the adjective use was slimmed down dramatically and we actually got more than one chapter in a row with a plot point. But at this point, it was too late, the end of the book was hurdling at us and very little had happened and the book pretty much fizzled out with an "oh yeah, the Grand Prix happened". Mind you, the finale was very heartwarming and I liked it a lot. I just wish I hadn't had to read a full chapter about hairbrush interspecies sex to get there, and instead had more of it. But ironically, the hairbrush sex had more plot advancement that the majority of the book.
The ending did, however, for one moment, make me forget that I had just read an encyclopedia of descriptors and was happy for a few minutes. So good on her for that. That proves to me that she can write more than glittery descriptions, which then made me sad I didn't have more of that writing. With just a spattering of the gold of her opening chapters. I am glad I finished the book, the story, what little there was, was worth the read. However, I have no desire to read any other of Valente's writing now, and if there was a sequel, I just don't think I have it in me to read another 263 pages of description. Cool idea, good ability, just terribly executed. She could easily have released a separate book, expanding on a handful of species she established in the book, like an alien compendium, and I would have read it, and laughed, and been okay because I went into it expecting it. But I went into this wanting a story, not a neon throwup encyclopedia of just how "oh so creative" Valente is. That came off harsh, I know, but they blew past the fine line of interesting and well into the self-serving, look what I can do, territory. What suffered for it wasn't just a large number of DNFs, and my sanity for a few days, but an actually interesting, fun, Eurovision, glitter punk, heartwarming story about loss, life, how stupid it is, how beautiful it is, and why we should fight for it. It's in there, hiding beneath the layers and layers of word vomit. I want that story. Please release a second edition that is just that, the opening, and say... 3-5 of your favorite aliens Valente, I promise I'll give it another try if you do.
Leanne Crabtree (480 KP) rated The Professional (The Game Maker, #1) in Books
Sep 5, 2019
3.5 stars.
*I received this copy via Netgalley in exchange for an honest review*
As a huge fan of Kresley Cole and her Immortals After Dark series, I was interested to see what this new book would be about since it was a contemporary romance.
From the first chapter I was fascinated by Natalie and her “manalyzer”, managing to figure out every guy in the bar just by watching them for a few seconds. That is, apart from Sevastyan who she can’t read and instantly catches her attention. Things quickly move along after this and she get’s spirited away to Russia to meet her family, but not without a few hot–and I do mean HOT–scenes between her and Sevastyan.
One thing I did like about the book was that the author didn’t do the typical Mafiya man as Natalie’s dad. In fact, I quite liked the man that was described; he seemed like a nice guy who had a love of clocks and family.
For the first half of the book it was kind of serene, everything was going well. Okay, that’s not quite true. There’s a sexual tension between Natalie and Sevastyan that despite the distance they’ve put between them is only growing and I have to tell you I couldn’t wait for it to blow.
I feel about now that I should mention that I’m not the hugest fan of erotica; I tend to get bored of the continuous sex. Depending on what’s going on and how much I like the characters is how I judge the scenes between them. I happened to like both Sevastyan and Natalie and the sex between them but the dirty talk while in bed always had my eyes rolling. That, I’m not a fan of.
After the half way point it seemed to concentrate more on the sex and the BDSM lifestyle, which I found a little boring after a while. BDSM is not one of my favourite things to read about and in small doses I don’t mind but it took up a fair bit of the book.
With about 15% to go, I got a little excited as some information came out that had me wondering what Natalie would do with it. Relationship difficulties coming to a head I wanted to know how it would all play out. And after another round of sex, we found out some things about Sevastyan’s past.
I’m glad I read this, simply because Kresley Cole is a great author and I was interested in reading something of hers that wasn’t paranormal. I read books for the romance and like to see it happening on paper/screen. The first half was great, it just wasn’t quite for me with all the sex and BDSM themes running through. If you’re a fan of it, then I’d check this out.
*I received this copy via Netgalley in exchange for an honest review*
As a huge fan of Kresley Cole and her Immortals After Dark series, I was interested to see what this new book would be about since it was a contemporary romance.
From the first chapter I was fascinated by Natalie and her “manalyzer”, managing to figure out every guy in the bar just by watching them for a few seconds. That is, apart from Sevastyan who she can’t read and instantly catches her attention. Things quickly move along after this and she get’s spirited away to Russia to meet her family, but not without a few hot–and I do mean HOT–scenes between her and Sevastyan.
One thing I did like about the book was that the author didn’t do the typical Mafiya man as Natalie’s dad. In fact, I quite liked the man that was described; he seemed like a nice guy who had a love of clocks and family.
For the first half of the book it was kind of serene, everything was going well. Okay, that’s not quite true. There’s a sexual tension between Natalie and Sevastyan that despite the distance they’ve put between them is only growing and I have to tell you I couldn’t wait for it to blow.
I feel about now that I should mention that I’m not the hugest fan of erotica; I tend to get bored of the continuous sex. Depending on what’s going on and how much I like the characters is how I judge the scenes between them. I happened to like both Sevastyan and Natalie and the sex between them but the dirty talk while in bed always had my eyes rolling. That, I’m not a fan of.
After the half way point it seemed to concentrate more on the sex and the BDSM lifestyle, which I found a little boring after a while. BDSM is not one of my favourite things to read about and in small doses I don’t mind but it took up a fair bit of the book.
With about 15% to go, I got a little excited as some information came out that had me wondering what Natalie would do with it. Relationship difficulties coming to a head I wanted to know how it would all play out. And after another round of sex, we found out some things about Sevastyan’s past.
I’m glad I read this, simply because Kresley Cole is a great author and I was interested in reading something of hers that wasn’t paranormal. I read books for the romance and like to see it happening on paper/screen. The first half was great, it just wasn’t quite for me with all the sex and BDSM themes running through. If you’re a fan of it, then I’d check this out.