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TacoDave (3556 KP) rated Gentlemen Broncos (2009) in Movies

Oct 30, 2019 (Updated Oct 30, 2019)  
Gentlemen Broncos (2009)
Gentlemen Broncos (2009)
2009 | Adventure, Comedy
dry humor (2 more)
great actors
unique feel
weird, and not for everyone (0 more)
I love this weird movie.
I love Gentelmen Broncos. Full stop.

I saw it for the first time in a theater where I was the only customer, and I was a bit wary of watching a comedy by myself, but it ended up being a great experience. This film is written and directed by the same people who made Napoleon Dynamite and Nacho Libre, which should let you know out of the gate that it is a bit abnormal.

The plot centers around a teenage boy named Benjamin who writes science fiction novels. Benjamin is headed off to a writing camp for home-schooled kids. In the bus on the way to camp he meets some other interesting teens and becomes fast friends with a few of them.

Once at the writing camp, he discovers that his favorite author - Ronald Chevalier (played by the hilarious Jemaine Clement) - will be judging everyone's writing. Overjoyed by this news, Benjamin submits his "best" book "Yeast Lords" into the competition. But it seems that things are not what they seem, because Chevalier has a bad case of writer's block, so he steals the plot of "Yeast Lords" and turns it into a new novel that keeps some elements, but destroys others.

Will Benjamin be able to prove a famous author stole his story? Can Benjamin and his friends film their own version of "Yeast Lords" and make a successful movie out of it? Can Benjamin kiss a girl without puking?

Interspersed with the regular scenes of the movie are scenes from the story "Yeast Lords" where Sam Rockwell (amazing, as always) plays the hero Bronco. These scenes morph and shift over the course of the movie as Bronco turns from a manly, tough hero into an effeminate oddball once Chevalier rewrites the story. Watching this transition is fascinating and hilarious.

And interspersed between everything else are oddball character moments that don't add to the plot, but are quirky and funny.

I'll admit that this movie isn't for everyone. It is weird. Some of the humor is so dry you need a drink afterwards. But for my sense of humor, it was dead-on. I have watched it many times, I own it on Blu-ray, and I show it to friends.

Give the trailer a try and see if it is your cup of tea. You'll either hate it (and curse me), or you'll love it and become a fan.
  
PI
Parrot in the Oven: Mi Vida
4
4.0 (1 Ratings)
Book Rating
Original Review Posted at <a href="http://bookwyrming-thoughts.blogspot.com/2013/04/review-parrot-in-the-oven-mi-vida-by-victor-martinez.html">Bookwyrming Thoughts</a>

Note: Formatting is lost due to copy and paste.

     Oh. Another required reading. Yay. After Dreamland's disaster, I was going to call it quits here and go hide in a cubicle for awhile. Not that it's bad idea... but I'm pretty sure I would've failed high school already with that many absences (so not happening).

      Parrot in the Oven: Mi Vida is about a fourteen-year-old boy named Manny who lives with his abusive father and just wants to fit in with the others around his neighborhood.

      I had hoped that Parrot in the Oven was going to be majorly better than our last reading in English. I guess it went out okay in the end, but I ended up flipping back and forth to find a certain something.

 A glossary, which I didn't find to my misfortune. With the Spanish terms and translations that were used in the book at the least. It would've have helped me so much since I haven't taken Spanish. Okay, there were a few translations in English after the Spanish throughout the book, but not all of them. I still say that a glossary would have been majorly helpful (and not just to me... I hope). In fact, I have no clue what the title says. Besides the Parrot in the Oven part. I
guess it's time to stroll on over to Google Translator.

      Parrot in the Oven, is a bit different, but similar when compared to other realistic fiction. It might just be me and realistic fiction (because I'm definitely not it's biggest fan, considering the fact I rarely give realistic fiction a high rating...), but there tends to be not so much going on, besides a typical Mexican American teenager with family problems typically contained in realistic fiction and wanting/trying to fit in with others (also typically found in realistic fiction). I might be wrong with that view.
 
*holds up warning sign* ATTENTION: MINI-SPOILER ALERT!
 
You have been warned of the next paragraph containing tiny mini-spoilers that may give away a tad bit too much information about the book. Continue at your own risk.
  
     The end tends to be rushed into 2-3 chapters. Manny was going on with his typical life, until a disaster at a party, and then boop. He decides to join a gang. Shortly after, boop. Someone gets in trouble, he realizes something within just hours/a day and boop. Goes home and "happily ever after," the end.
  
The Lincoln Lawyer (2011)
The Lincoln Lawyer (2011)
2011 | Drama, Mystery
6
7.3 (9 Ratings)
Movie Rating
Contains spoilers, click to show
When Edward Norton [SPOILER ALERT] raised a smirk at the end of Primal Fear to reveal himself as a sick and twisted killer it capped a sublime performance from an actor that would go on to do bigger and better things.

Primal Fear was a courtroom thriller that held you all the way to the bitter end, and as that solemn expression washed over poor Richard Gere‘s face at the end you could only stand up and applaud.

The Lincoln Lawyer travels down a similar premise, but despite all the twists and turns in a plot based on the novel by Michael Connelly it fails to keep the tension high enough to satisfy us to a pay off that is only blip on the thriller spectrum, I personally wanted something bigger.

Maybe you’re seduced by his Texan drawl or his searing good looks, either way its a solid performance from someone whose comfortable in this type of atmosphere

McConaughey plays Mick Haller a defence attourney working out the back of his sleak looking black Lincoln, and whose job it is to pretty much keep the scum of the earth on the streets, something which has obviously damaged his marraige with Maggie McPherson (Tomei). His reputation though is flipped over mid way through and we suddenly get an insight into a man that is as much a doting father as he is a great defence attorney.

Well alright, alright, alright!
When he’s asked to defend rich boy Louis Roulet (Phillippe) for beating a prostitute to within an inch of her life he suddenly gets a conscience when he realizes that the clean cut image might be a façade to something much more sinister. The film itself is not bad at all, and in parts it’s actually very good with McConaughey calling on his supporting cast for help which includes John Leguizamo and William H. Macy.

McConaughey’s court presence is smooth and charismatic, which would probably make him quite a good litigator in the real world. Maybe you’re seduced by his Texan drawl or his searing good looks, either way its a solid performance from someone who’s comfortable in this type of atmosphere.

Phillippe is certainly no Norton, and you know right off the bat that he’s as guilty as hell but its a good turn from him nonetheless. As thrillers go its up there and is thoroughly enjoyable, most notably for McConaughey’s performance which is a role that has been a long time coming for him, and one that he nails right to the court room wall.
  
Friend Request
Friend Request
Laura Marshall | 2017 | Crime, Fiction & Poetry, Thriller
10
7.4 (9 Ratings)
Book Rating
I got kind of sucked in from the first pages of this book. It started quite idyllic, a single mother with her little boy. The pressure slowly building up after Louise receives the friend request, and it continues throughout the whole book.

Our main character is, of course, Louise, even though she had a tough divorce which broke her, she got her life together and is a successful businesswoman. Throughout the book, we meet a lot of unique characters, not only from her present but from the past as well. I really liked Louise as a character, she proved to me, that people are able to change.

The narrative, that is the part of this book which I really loved. It is told from a single perspective, but the plot is very well crafted and filled with a lot of feelings, emotions and fantastic twists and turns. It is pretty hard to describe it without spoilers, but let’s try. I do have to mention, that this novel is about bullying, drugs and its consequences to peoples lives. Louise has done something really bad when she was at school, and that thing is haunting her 25 years later. The author does not leave it to this disappearance of Maria only, she spices it up with a ton of twists and illusions. I should say that Laura is a master for creating an illusion.

The plot was time travelling between the present and 1989, revealing the events that took place little by little, and creating even more suspense and wish to find out more. One thing that really annoyed me was that the author exaggerated the character’s secrets, and when you expect something grand and you receive a very uninteresting surprise, it kind of left me disappointed. :/ Another thing what really annoyed me, the way drug use was portrayed in this book. I think drug use is a serious issue, and shouldn’t be portrayed as “cool” or as a “not a big deal”, especially when it comes to school kids.

This was a very well thought through novel, with easy language and overall great writing style. I liked the not-too-long, not-too-short chapters, and I think that the ending of this book was incredibly unexpected, and rounded this story really nicely. So, to conclude, I do strongly recommend this compelling and chilling book, filled with incredible story, unexpected turns, and things which are not as they seem to be. I hope you will enjoy it as much as I did.
  
Survaine (Gen-Heirs: The Guardians of Sziveria #6)
Survaine (Gen-Heirs: The Guardians of Sziveria #6)
Sarah Westill | 2023 | Romance, Science Fiction/Fantasy
8
8.0 (1 Ratings)
Book Rating
SURVAINE is the sixth book in the Gen-Heirs: The Guardians of Sziveria series and we finally get Ramsey's story! Oh boy, but I've been waiting for this one. She is smart and sassy, with a strong sense of right and wrong. Due to her circumstances, she has been protected by her brother as much as he can. But unknown to Jonathan, she met Caiden one night when things were bad. A connection formed and he returned to her when she needed him most, even if she wasn't aware of it!

I love this series. Honestly, each book is great in its own way. This one - it was Ramsey and Caiden that were the stars for me. I mean, obviously, it should be; it's their book. It doesn't always work that way though. I loved how Ramsey was uncomfortable and even a little whiny as she dealt with things she'd never had to do before.

It was also good to catch up with others from this series - Sean and Katria plus Jonathan and Sylphine - to see what's going on with them. Others are mentioned as this story moves the story arc along in a big way, which although needed is one of the reasons I felt a little disconnected from Ramsey and Caiden. Take them as separate characters and they are both outstanding. Both of them are strong but not infallible. They draw strength from each other and have an attraction to top the charts - BUT - I felt as though something was missing.

After thinking it over, I've come to the conclusion that it's because this is such an action-packed book. And I know it's necessary and helped move it along, but they never got any downtime. When we're with them, it's either action or wannabe sexy times. There was little in the way of just 'them.' And I missed that as, in the bits we did get, Caiden was so caring and attentive, with Ramsey being so strong and cheeky, I wanted more.

All in all, this was a fantastic read and a wonderful addition to the series. I can't wait to read Deklan's story and I'm really hoping Ryan and Delanee get one too! Definitely recommended by me.

** same worded review will appear elsewhere **

* A copy of this book was provided to me with no requirements for a review. I voluntarily read this book; the comments here are my honest opinion. *

Merissa
Archaeolibrarian - I Dig Good Books!
Jun 13, 2023
  
A Whole New World
A Whole New World
Liz Braswell | 2015 | Young Adult (YA)
7
7.0 (11 Ratings)
Book Rating
Review by Disney Bookworm
“What if Aladdin had never found the lamp?”

OK so I am going to start off this review with a really pedantic comment and I know I am being petty and that this will almost definitely end in a rant but… he does find the lamp! Of course he does! Aladdin is the diamond in the rough! He is literally the only one who can find the lamp. If he didn’t find the lamp nothing would happen: Jasmine would probably grow old with her tiger; Jafar would carry on hypnotising the Sultan; Aladdin would probably wind up arrested and this would be the shortest twisted tale in history.
*Ahem*
So, Aladdin finds the lamp. Let’s move past it, because if you have read my other reviews, you will know I love Liz Braswell: her twisted tales always wind up being my favourites as she always brings something completely unexpected to the novels. In the circumstances, I can forgive the tagline.

This review of “A Whole New World” comes at a time where Aladdin is everywhere: the live action movie was released in the UK just over a month ago and, I for one, loved it! With this in mind, I just had to re-read this twisted tale and shout about the wholly different Agrabah that it presents to the reader.

Braswell’s Agrabah is a raw, dirty, troubled cousin of the Agrabah we all know and love. I struggle to comprehend exactly how the movies did it, because both showed starving children, but we found ourselves simultaneously accepting and glossing over the poverty of the street rats. We have no such option in “A Whole New World”.
From starving infants; old men shovelling camel dung for coins; to Aladdin’s own mother dying of a wasting disease: this novel takes no prisoners in the Quarter of the Street Rats. However, those in the Palace remain blind to the struggles of the poor, with the Sultan playing with his golden toys whilst some of his citizens have no food or clean water.
The plight of the Agrabah people creates an undercurrent of resentment that runs all the way through Aladdin and Jasmine’s story. It is also a clear indicator of the identity of this novel: Braswell has taken all the romanticism of the familiar story and buried it in her own cave of wonders, leaving behind a highly political but incredibly powerful story.

The twisted tale starts off on a similar vein to both movies, boy meets girl, boy rescues girl from hand severing businessman, boy winds up arrested and transported to a creepy cave where he finds an old lamp, boy’s monkey can’t keep his hands to himself and boy is left clinging on for his life at the entrance to said creepy cave. However, in this version, when Jafar steps on Aladdin’s fingers to prevent his escape, Abu doesn’t grab the lamp! How will Aladdin escape now?

As is to be expected from Braswell’s novels, the characters are phenomenal. Aladdin is the proud, eternal optimist that we recognise but with a strong ethical viewpoint that is introduced by the inclusion of his mother as a character.
Creating a new character, particularly Aladdin’s mother, could simply be a tactic to give some history to the charming thief. However, Braswell uses the matriarch to add depth to Aladdin: she tells him “don’t let how poor you are, decide who you are…you can choose to be something more”.
This is ultimately the lesson the genie would teach Aladdin if they were to meet and so I think it is very clever of Braswell to keep this element of Aladdin’s character. It allows us to witness Aladdin’s pride and strength through these instilled virtues: he has even lost friends over his views of when he considers it acceptable to be a thief.

Although I wouldn’t consider the genie a main character in this tale (he doesn’t get as much airtime as in the films): he remains a funny and flippant sidekick for the most part. However, in keeping with the tone of “A Whole New World”, he does use this humour to provoke our thoughts. The genie and Braswell divulge that there was once a whole race of djinn who have since died out. The genie has lost his home, his wife and his freedom and so, he rightly asks, who would stay sane under those conditions?

Jafar; Mr dark and twisty himself, is a whole other level of evil in this twisted tale. He does present some of the characteristics of the movie villain: power mad, desperate for everyone to love him and all that jazz; however, he also tortures the genie and plans to break the laws of magic in order to create an army of the dead. It’s all very game of thrones all of a sudden!

I know what you’re thinking: what about Jasmine? Surely, she isn’t all dark and twisty as well? The girl looks good in turquoise baggy trousers for goodness sakes!
Jasmine begins her journey as the typical naïve, sheltered princess she is always portrayed as: possessing no knowledge of the price of food or the struggles of her own people. However, Braswell manages to make even the live-action Jasmine appear over-dramatic and petty: she isn’t resisting marriage just because she doesn’t fancy random foreign prince number 3; she is resisting becoming a “baby making machine” and signing herself up to an early grave.
“A princess among men”, Jasmine and the reader soon realise that she has to step forward and become the hero of this tale. This is no small ask for someone who has never led an army or witnessed death before. Nonetheless, Jasmine is clearly up to the task: this is no weak princess trapped in an hourglass of sand, waiting to be rescued by a man. This is a Sultana!

The story of Aladdin typically conjures up images of love, magic carpets and romantic duets. Liz Braswell’s story of Agrabah does orbit around love, how could it not? However, “A Whole New World” explores the shades of grey in life: Street rats are not always bad, Princesses are not always good and magic is not always the solution. This is not a tale of love; it is a tale of finding strength in unlikely places; it is a tale that teaches us you don’t need magic to have a happy ending.
  
The Girl in the Spider&#039;s Web (2018)
The Girl in the Spider's Web (2018)
2018 | Crime, Drama, Thriller
There has definitely been a shift in the characters that women are portraying in the movies. No longer happy to be relegated to the damsel in distress who is looking for their Prince Charming to rescue them, they become bad-ass avengers who aren’t afraid to kick-butt and take names. There is no better example of this than Lisbeth Salander, everyone’s favorite goth super-hacker and vigilante. In The Girl in the Spider’s Web, based on the best-selling novel of the same name, we see Lisbeth at her finest and it is an action packed, butt kicking good time.

 

Lisbeth (Claire Foy) leads a life as a vigilante who targets men that abuse woman ensuring they pay for their evil deeds. She’s not afraid to play hardball and threaten their very existence to ensure that justice is served. In the middle of punishing all the right people, Lisbeth receives a hacking opportunity that she can’t refuse, involving an application where simply logging in allows you to take over the world’s nuclear weapons. This super application was originally created and sold to the NSA in Washington and Lisbeth is tasked with stealing it back and returning it to the original creator so that it can be properly destroyed. Lisbeth successfully steals the application but that then makes her the target of not only the NSA whom she had stolen it from originally, but also another secretive group who has their own nefarious plans.

 

The film quickly goes from Lisbeth and her “simple” vigilante ways to becoming a global thriller that spans multiple countries and agencies. Not only does the plot change quickly but Lisbeth’s character also morph’s from being a Black Canary type vigilante to becoming a female version of Mission Impossible’s Ethan Hunt. Even though playing a female Ethan Hunt is different from Lisbeth’s usual trope her skills fit nicely into her new role. Her ability to hack into any computer system comes in handy quite a few times and lets us have a tie to the Lisbeth we know and love, but we also get to see her flex her wits and general bad-assery a bit deeper during her “impossible mission”. The film was definitely not what I expected but I was still pleasantly surprised.

 

The Swedish setting where the movie takes place was gorgeous and varies from desolate abandoned buildings to chases in the middle of sprawling cities. It utilizes the snow-covered landscape and decrepit buildings to create a sense of isolation, even when the streets themselves are packed with cars. Along with the isolation from the setting we also see the use of both old and new technology, which gives a low-tech feel to what is an otherwise a high stakes mission. Both the setting and the technology allows us to see that Lisbeth is a force to be reckoned with no matter what type of adversity she faces.

 

Which brings me to the one of the best parts of the movie and that is Claire Foy’s absolutely amazing portrayal of Lisbeth. We already knew she did a great job playing a royal in The Crown and as the wife of astronaut Neil Armstrong in First Man but relinquishing her usual elegant and classy portrayals to spectacularly play one of the biggest, baddest female characters around shows the true depth of her talent. She is definitely the star of the show and now I am an even bigger fan of hers than I already was. I was also impressed with the other main characters, including investigative journalist Mikael Blomkvist (Sverrir Gudnason), who plays less of role than in the original The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo but does a great job nonetheless, and the young boy, August Balder (Christopher Convery) that holds the key to the entire mission excellently played by Christopher Convery. The trio make an unusual team, but how the characters (and actors) play on each other’s strengths and weaknesses to complement each other brings heart to a movie that could have easily been 100% an action adventure.

 

The one aspect I feel could (and should) have been fleshed out more, was Lisbeth’s character as a battered woman’s vigilante. The movie started off with a very strong vigilante scene, but the vigilante theme is quickly forgotten until the very end of the film where we find out it was the sole catalyst of the main adversary. This oversight sadly turned what could have been a woman’s justice vigilante movie into a more run-of-the-mill super spy movie. That’s not necessarily bad, it is still action packed and full of twists and turns, but it’s definitely a missed opportunity to show more of who Lisbeth is.

 

The Girl in the Spider’s Web is filled with action, gadgets, and car chases though beautiful scenery and it is an excellent movie to see if you are looking for something different than green grinches and Nazi zombies. It’s not the movie I went in expecting to see, but I’m not complaining as it is still a solid film. Even though it diverts away from the more artistic The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo it is a very good action-packed thriller that would stack up nicely next to the Mission Impossible movies it is reminiscent of. It’s definitely a movie I recommend to action movie fans everywhere.
  
The Broken Girls
The Broken Girls
Simone St. James | 2018 | Horror, Thriller
6
8.5 (8 Ratings)
Book Rating
Barrons, Vermont -- 1950
A young girl who is a student at Idlewild Hall goes missing. Idlewild is a school for wayward girls. The authorities believe she has just run away with some boy, but her friends and roommates know this is the farthest thing from the truth.

Barrons, Vermont -- 1994
Deb Sheridan another young woman is found dead in the field at Idlewild Hall, which has now been closed for many years. Her killer is her boyfriend at the time, Tim Christopher. Why would he leave her at this place?

Barrons, Vermont -- 2014
Someone has bought Idlewild Hall and plans to renovate it. But why? The place is nothing but a money pit. Fiona Sheridan is determined to find out who is buying the property and their motivation behind it. Will she be able to deal with all the secrets this place holds? When a body is found during the renovations, Fiona's attempts go into overdrive? Will she be able to find out who is behind this before she too becomes a subject of Idlewild?

Thank you to NetGalley and Berkley for the opportunity to read and review this book.

Going through this book, I was a little skeptical about what was going to happen. I'm not a big fan of books with ghosts, but this one wasn't too bad. I gave the book a rating of 3.5 stars. While the book was interesting, I found myself going for other things to do besides reading this book. The story flowed naturally even switching from the past to modern day.

Mary Hand is a ghost that haunts the grounds of Idlewild. She will show you things that you may not want to see. But is a ghost behind all the strange things that happen at Idlewild Hall or is there another culprit. We know for sure that Deb Sheridan was killed by her boyfriend, but what about the body found during the renovations? In 1950 the school was full of wayward girls. Girls who in those days, parents could not be bothered by and mental health was a taboo issue. So they sent their daughters away to school. Four girls in room 3C became very close friends. Sonia, Katie, CeCe and Roberta. The book tells their story from 1950 leading up to the disappearance of one of them and Fiona's perspective from 2014, trying to find out the history of Idlewild Hall and the new owners.

Overall, for me the book was good, not great. This is the first book I have read by Simone St. James. If her other books deal with ghosts and spirits, I'm not sure if I will read them or not, but I may give them a chance.

If you like ghosts though, I think you should give this book a try, YOU may enjoy it.
  
TP
The Problem with Forever
8
7.8 (5 Ratings)
Book Rating
3.5

<i>This ARC was provided by the publisher via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review </i>

Jennifer L. Armentrout is an American author best known for her young adult novel<i> Obsidian</i>. Although her previous books have contained fantasy elements, <i>The Problem With Forever</i> tackles a contemporary, realistic situation. It is a story of two teenage abuse survivors, and the ways they try to break free from their past.

Mallory has spent four years in therapy since being adopted/rescued by a couple of doctors, Carl and Rosa. Struggling with selective mutism as a result of her past, she has been unable to live a “normal” life. However, Mallory has ambitions to go to college, but in order to do this she must be able to cope being around and speaking to other people. So she takes what feels like the biggest step of her life and enrolls in high school for her senior year.

Of course high school was going to be a life changing experience for Mallory but she got even more than she bargained for. On her very first day she meets Rider, or rather is reunited; the boy she was in a foster home with. Neither believed they would ever see each other again and are delighted about being able to rekindle their strong friendship; except there are many obstacles in the way of their ‘happy ever after.’ A jealous girlfriend, over-protective parents, contrasting social circumstances, and, perhaps most importantly, the effects their challenging past has had on the pair.

The horror of Mallory and Rider’s past makes The Problem With Forever a heart-wrenching tale. It is shocking to think that children in real life have gone through, or are going through, similar experiences. Readers will want a happy ending for both characters, yet will undergo a foreboding sense that something will go wrong.

<i>The Problem With Forever</i> is also a love story – however this is where I think the novel falls down. The romance that blooms between Mallory and Rider seems to happen far too quickly, especially as they have only recently been reunited. That is not the only problem: Mallory and Rider grew up like foster siblings, which makes their new relationship feel somewhat wrong. The overall story could have been just as good without love coming into play.

Overall, I am sure readers will agree, Armentrout’s latest novel is a heart-wrenching story that comes with a strong message about letting go of the past and becoming someone new, someone better. You may have had a bad past, but you will have new experiences if you let yourself. You will not feel this way forever. Full of powerful statements, <i>The Problem With Forever</i> is likely to move many to tears – so be prepared!
  

"I’d heard ‘Starman’ on the radio before going to school, and as most lads are, I was interested in football and outer space. Something about his voice and the opening line, just that thing he’d tapped into, and it was me he was suggesting to look out the window. It’s hard to comprehend the impact he had when he came out. I turned 13 in the May of ’72 and it was such a special time and gave my life magical class. I grew up in Norris Green, skint, and what he did was give the gift of inspiration. He changed the world in loads of ways and was probably the last great special person to do that. It was head and shoulders above anything else. To come out looking like that he could have had the biggest backlash. If you ever want to see star quality watch that Top Of The Pops clip, which is what gave me the idea that you need stage presence – you don’t just need it on stage, you need it in life. I missed those years of myself, in how naïve I was, and how un-laddy I was. I was into footy and stuff, but through the Bunnymen I found my own confidence. I was thinking of getting some bangles – thank God I didn’t. The thing about Bowie is that no-one else could have pulled it off. He was hardly ever on telly, and he never went on and mimed. It was just everything about it. People who missed it must’ve been stupid. I remember after Top Of The Pops going to school and asked my mates if they’d seen it and they said, “yeah – the fucking queer.” I didn’t even see that. I didn’t see it as a sexual thing, I wouldn’t have minded if I had have done. It made some sense because I was probably more androgynous than him through my teenage years – girls would ask me if I was a boy or a girl. I’d always tell them they could put their hands down me kecks and find out. When Bowie shaved his eyebrows off I knew something was up. That’s how you can pinpoint when Ziggy ends. His hair started to change and that’s when he stopped being so from-outer-space. I’m very exact on it, because it almost broke my heart. Without Bowie, obviously I’d have been centre-forward for Liverpool. It wouldn’t have been a bad career playing for Liverpool. I was a goal-hanging bastard. Fantastic shot, but I didn’t particularly like going into the 50-50s, the life-threateners. And my eyesight went to shite when I was 13."

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