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The Dark Tower (2017)
The Dark Tower (2017)
2017 | Horror, Sci-Fi, Western
Boring male power fantasy with little to no character development
It's hard to tell who is meant to be the protagonist of this film, the young boy, Jake, or the Gunslinger. Sure, we're introduced to Jake first, and only really meet the Gunslinger towards the end of Act 1, which should signal that it's Jake.

But Jake is boring. SO BORING. He doesn't really have any character flaws. Oh sure, he has problems, expositionally convenient plot device "visions", but no real, tangible character elements. He reacts violently towards another kid at school, but this isn't treated as a flaw and this isn't a movie where Jake is going to learn that there's a better solution than violence. At best he's going to learn that it's bad to use your fists to solve problems - guns are much more efficient.


The Gunslinger is presented with all the hallmarks of a protagonist. He's got a defined past and a defined character flaw. He's consumed with thoughts of revenge and will let the world burn around him to get it. The problem is, the story never gives him a point where he actually has to make a choice between revenge and something better.


The villain, while fun, seems to have no internal motivation whatsoever. Why does he want to destroy the universe? Because that's what semi-omnipotent bad guys want to do, I guess.


And I get it, he's called the Gunslinger, he shoots guns. It's all very straightforward. But that doesn't mean it's not still kind of boring to watch EVERY problem they encounter get solved by just shooting at it enough while every single woman in the movie exists to be murdered, assaulted, and grossly sexualized by the villain.


It used every trope in the book, it used them badly, and the script was just...not good.
  
FM
Fool Moon (The Dresden Files, #2)
8
8.7 (3 Ratings)
Book Rating
<updated review in 2019>

I read the graphic novel version when I accidentally purchased the Dresden Files Omnibus from Comixology, thinking it contained new stories (it doesn't: it contains 'Storm Front', this ('Fool Moon') and the short story 'A Restoration of Faith'). While it's been a few years since I last read the actual novel, from what I remember, the graphic novel sticks pretty close to the original source material. I still have trouble as seeing Harry Dresden as any other than Nicolas Cage from the film 'The Sorceror's Apprentice', though ...

<original review>

Second entry in Jim Butcher's Dresden files series, building upon and expanding the world first introduced in "Storm Front", and in which Harry Dresden - Chaicago's only professional wizard in the phone book - ends up involved in a case to do with Werewolves (of which there are more types than your classical bi-morph).
  
Anna and the French Kiss
Anna and the French Kiss
Stephanie Perkins | 2010 | Romance, Young Adult (YA)
8
8.8 (12 Ratings)
Book Rating
What happens when your nouveau-riche father decides that his daughter needs to be more cultures? Your entire world is flipped upside-down as you're sent to a boarding school in a country where you don't speak the language. That's exactly what happens to Anna when she's sent to the School of America, in Paris. She now must make new friends, try to stay in touch with her old ones and the most terrifying ordeal of all? Ordering her meals in French. She might want some nice fresh <i>pain</i> (bread) but ends up saying <i>paon</i> (peacock). Yum, <i>paon</i> and <i>fromage</i> for breakfast.

It may seem strange, but I enjoy the use of language in this book. I think accents, like St. Clair's are written very authentically. Bridge's love of words is a great way to introduce readers to new worlds. (And seriously inspires me to see if I can find a set of Oxford English Dictionaries for my personal library.) The use of foreign languages in books can be tricky to do well, but I think the author struck a balance brilliantly.

I find Anna very relatable - it doesn't hurt that she's a fellow lefty. But I also feel like she reads older than she is. Throughout the novel, I feel like she is at University (aged 19-20) rather than still in high school. Her desire to be a film ritic is how I feel about books and reviewing. She says, "I just like... expressing my opinion. That possiblity of turning someone on to something really great." Reading is my passion and I wan to share that with people. If I can introduce them to a book I've fallen in love with and it touches them in some way - I'm happy.

When I read the novel, I can feel myself walking along the Seine or admiring Notre Dame. Paris is a beautiful setting adn the author represents it wonderfully. It is one of those novels that gives you wanderlust and an undeniable urge to visit the places that Anna does.
  
TT
The Taken (Celestial Blues, #1)
2
2.0 (1 Ratings)
Book Rating
Even though I'm not especially fond of angels, I decided to try out this new series based on my previous experiences with Vicki Pettersson's work. Sadly, after an intriguing first chapter, any enjoyment I may have expected never came knocking (guess it was too busy knockin' on heaven's door).

Meet one of the two main characters, rockabilly girl Katherine "Kit" Craig. She's an eternally optimistic and peppy reporter whose best friend and co-worker, Nicole, was just murdered while following a lead. Our other MC is a haunted Centurion angel named Griffin Shaw who ushers the newly murdered into the afterlife, otherwise known as the Everlast, while bemoaning the murders of both himself and his wife Evie back in 1960. After making a mistake concerning Nicole, he's been sent back to earth as a human with some angelic senses still intact. Kit and Grif soon meet up and begin investigating the circumstances around Nicole's death, whilst Griffin seeks out any details involving his own.

Problem Number One:
The Cardboard Characters
Character development is supposed to unfold over the course of a book, in this case it actually appeared to deteriorate as the book went on. Kit never developed into anything but one of those annoyingly chipper people you just want to hit with a sledgehammer, while Grif started promisingly enough but then stagnated. They were both very shallow characterizations, and on top of that, I never understood Kit's actions or reactions to just about anything. I never felt her sadness about her best friend's death, whom she rarely gave a passing thought, believed she was smart (by the end, I thought her a dolt), or seem in any way human with nary a rational thought in her head. About mid-way through the book, Grif tells her he's an angel after they kiss, so what does she do? Does she a) run away screaming, b) think he's a few feathers short of a goose and tell him to get hell out of her house and life, or c) have a calm Q&A session followed by giving him a whatfor that consists of "I won't kiss you again" and "you're watching me walk out that door (in her own house) because you can't handle any emotion blah, blah, blah by pretending you're an angel" and then proceed to attend a charity event wherein she acts and converses normally, like nothing happened? If you picked "c" *ding ding ding*, you're a winner! Because as we all know, any sensible guy will pull out the "I'm an angel" trick and expect a woman to believe him. *rolls eyes* Never was it ever crystal clear if Kit thought Grif was either crazy or a liar. It was all a bit hazy, but what can you expect from someone we're never allowed to know? All we discern is she dresses and lives (somewhat) rockabilly, but it's all a veneer to her hollowness inside, which led me to dub her Rockabilly Barbie.
<img src="http://i272.photobucket.com/albums/jj183/piscesrain/reviews/RockabillyBarbie.jpg">;
Because that's all she is and nothing more. The only character that I found a little more well-rounded was the secondary character Bridget Moore and the two Centurions introduced close to the end. Everyone else was either forgettably two-dimensional or they were a caricature, a la Caleb Chambers and Paul Raggio.

Problem Number Two:
The Relationship(s)
I'm expected to believe in a possible relationship between Grif and Rockabilly Barbie, err I mean Kit, but there's not much there to believe in. Like the characters, it was shallow with the same descriptions reiterated over and over again. Basically it's a case of telling instead of showing. I felt no love, maybe some attraction, but that's all she wrote. Likewise I never bought that Kit and Paul could ever have gotten far enough to be married, they were just too different. Most people don't do a 180 after they get married, the seed of who Paul really was deep down inside would have already been there and if Kit was even a fraction astute, she should have caught that. All this served was to be a plot point in the book.

Problem Number Three:
The Plot(s)
The main plot involving Nicole's death and Chambers had a "been there, done that" quality to it. The plot didn't shock me or seem like anything new, I've come across the same before or at least plots that were very close, and it wasn't even told in a fresh way. So I wasn't as affected by anything in the book as I probably should have been, partially due to the indifference I felt and the fact that I figured out everything long before the author dropped, what I guess she thought, were informational bombshells.
The book had three major plotlines: Grif and Evie's deaths, Nicole's death/prostitution ring, and Grif and the Pure Anas' philosophical moments. They weren't juggled well at all. Ms. Pettersson should have picked only one and paid more attention to developing that specific plot and the characters. The scenes with Anas (or Anne) especially didn't mesh with the other stories and felt as if the author was overreaching the boundaries set up by the book. One scene in particular was extremely bizarre and pointless to the book as a whole.
Where was the noir? I've seen enough film noirs to know it ain't here.

Problem Number Four:
The Ending
What happened at the end is what I'd expect in a book that's exclusively romance and not in a mystery/urban fantasy hybrid, which made the rushed ending seem even more ridiculous and sappy. It was incredibly unbelievable to the story and didn't seem to set up the next book in any way. Also, one of the plotlines was all but left dangling with no foreshadowing or anything. Poor, poor, poor execution. Don't expound on a storyline if you're not going to finish it up or at least leave it dangling in a way that makes the reader want to come back. All that boring set-up for a completely stupid and cheesy ending. I expected rainbows and unicorns to pop out at any moment.

Overall the book felt more like a rough copy than a finished one and definitely could have used a few more goings over. Several descriptions were rushed and chaotic or simply poorly done so that I was scrambling to picture what was going on. The book is almost 400 pages and it is simply too long. With so many storylines, I'm not sure how they managed to both crawl and have very little action at the same time. I was going to give this two stars because I didn't hate the book, that would imply that it elicited any feelings what-so-ever, but the truth of the matter is that there isn't one thing I really liked about the book either. The only way I'd read a sequel to the bafflingly-named Celestial Blues series is if it featured different leads like the aforementioned Centurions, and even then I'd cautiously dip my toes into the book.

Originally reviewed: June 29
Received: Amazon Vine
  
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Hadley (567 KP) rated Heart-Shaped Box in Books

Jun 18, 2019  
Heart-Shaped Box
Heart-Shaped Box
Joe Hill | 2017 | Fiction & Poetry
6
7.0 (13 Ratings)
Book Rating
Ghosts (0 more)
Unlikable characters (1 more)
Parts that weren't needed
Which one of us hasn't imagined being a successful rock star? The main character of this novel is an aging one, who has become the stereo-typical hard-ass that is expected of a death metal rock star. We begin with Judas Coyne, who hasn't made an album in years, and who is constantly running from his past- - -a habit he acquired when he ran away from home in Louisiana at the age of 19, and this is the problem that permeates Hill's 'Heart-Shaped Box.'

'Heart-Shaped Box' does a successful job of not only painting a picture of ghosts, but also of the spirits that reside in animals (like a witch's familiar), but the likable characters in this book are few and far between. Coyne treats women as objects(he literally only calls them by the State name they are from,such as Florida), and also ended his own marriage by refusing to throw away a snuff film he had obtained from a police. When the story begins, Coyne is shacked up with a young woman (nearly 30 years younger) he calls Georgia; she is described as a stereo-typical goth: black hair, black nail polish, pale white skin. This description of the women Coyne has been with seem to be about the same, but maybe a different hair color, but any other woman that is ever mentioned in the book is either very old or very overweight.

Coyne, a collector of all things dark, buys a dead man's suit that is supposedly haunted by a woman's deceased stepfather. Quite quickly things begin to happen after the suit arrives, including a decaying smell, first noticed by Coyne's 'girlfriend,' Georgia: " I know. I was wondering if there was something in one of the pockets. Something going bad. Old food." She makes Coyne take a look at the suit to see if there is something dead inside of it, but he never finds the source of the smell. Instead, he finds a picture of a young girl in one of the pockets, a girl that is very familiar to Coyne, a girl he once called 'Florida.'

Coyne doesn't seem to take any of the signs seriously that he may be haunted by a ghost that wants to harm him and anyone who comes in contact with him. Until Coyne finds himself sitting inside his restored vintage Mustang in a closed-off barn: " He snorted softly to himself. It wasn't selling souls that got you into trouble, it was buying them. Next time he would have to make sure there was a return policy. He laughed, opened his eyes a little. The dead man, Craddock, sat in the passenger seat next to him. He smiled at Jude, to show stained teeth and a black tongue. He smelled of death, also of car exhaust. His eyes were hidden behind those odd, continuously moving black brushstrokes."

Craddock turns out to be, without giving too much away, a man who was a spiritualist in his living life. He wants nothing but pain and misery for Coyne, who happened to kick his young step daughter to the curb a year before. The parts of the story that deal with both Coyne and Craddock interacting are the most interesting ones. Without these interactions, the story would have fallen very short.

That said, 'Heart-Shaped Box' had quite a few faults to it. Readers may notice that some pages contradict themselves on the very next page, Hill's overuse of Georgia's bangs (hair) as a description for all of her facial expressions, also Hill's habit of being repetitive with words that he uses to describe most things, the unbelievable part where Coyne- - - a collector of occult items- - - claims he has never used a Ouija board before (and lacks the knowledge of how to use one), and last but not least, chapter 34, a chapter that was not needed and completely stopped the story in it's tracks.

And speaking of things that were not needed in the story- - - a part where Georgia has a gun in her mouth, ready to commit suicide, Coyne can only think to remove the gun and replace it with his penis. I understand that Hill may have been going for unlikable characters from the beginning, to really have Coyne play the part of a jaded man, but sometimes Hill seems to go too far. Every book has to have a character to root for, otherwise your readers will put the book down, luckily, this book has Bammy; she is Georgia's grandmother, unfortunately, in less than 15 pages, she never appears in the story again. "You strung out? Christ. You smell like a dog." Bammy says to Georgia after she and Coyne show up at her home.

Is this book a good ghost story, yes, is this story a great horror story, no. Hill lacks on likable characters enough that I don't think a lot of people could enjoy this book. If I were to recommend it, I wouldn't recommend it to teenagers because of a much talked about snuff film, drugs and suicide. I don't think I would read this again.
  
Twice in a Blue Moon
Twice in a Blue Moon
8
7.5 (2 Ratings)
Book Rating
Tate first fell in love on a trip to London, where she met the mysterious Sam Brandis. They shared all their deepest secrets and dreams together every night in their hotel's garden. It was a whirlwind, beautiful romance. Sam was the only person that Tate told her biggest secret: she is the daughter of one of Hollywood's biggest film stars. But their brief love story ended abruptly when Sam betrayed Tate, revealing her secret and outing her to the world. Now, fourteen years later, Tate is a famous actress herself. She's on set on her biggest project to date. The last person she's expecting to see is Sam Brandis. But here he is. Now Tate is forced to confront what happened fourteen years ago--and how it has affected her all these years later.


"What would you do if you got a second chance with your first love?"


Well, I was totally caught up in this captivating romance. I'm a real sucker for Hollywood drama, so this was right up my alley. The daughter of a Hollywood star, who abandoned her and her Mom after a messy divorce? Said daughter grows up and decides to be a film star after being outed by her first love? I'm so in.

This Christina Lauren novel is told just from Tate's point of view, so we don't get some of the back-and-forth POV that we see in some of the duo's other books. There is more drama, less witty banter, than we might see in other books. But there's still plenty of the usual lies, longing, and misunderstandings. There are also lots of sexy moments and romantic interludes, too.

Tate is a fun character; I liked the divide between young Tate and Sam and then cutting to them fourteen years later. Honestly, older Tate is a little clueless at times. It takes her a while to catch on to things that seem pretty obvious to the rest of us. As usual, some things are rather predictable and other moments are a bit overblown, but it didn't diminish my enjoyment of the book. While Sam and Tate might not have had a constant humorous dialogue going, I liked the seriousness that the book brought to their relationship, as well as the funny moments it dropped in too. Tate's family, friends, and co-stars add a lighthearted touch, too.

Overall, this is a sweet, engaging romance. I loved the Hollywood aspect and the changing dynamic between Tate and Sam. 4 stars.