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Purple Phoenix Games (2266 KP) rated Nations: The Dice Game in Tabletop Games

Aug 16, 2019 (Updated Jul 17, 2021)  
Nations: The Dice Game
Nations: The Dice Game
2014 | Civilization, Dice Game
If you have been around board games over the past several years you will notice trends here and there. Some games came out with smaller, easier to digest, versions of themselves as card games, or roll-and-writes, or in this case: dice games. The goal is to get the same kind of feeling and experience as playing the older sibling in a much smaller and time-friendly spin-off. I have played Nations (the original big game) before, but does Nations: The Dice Game give a similar feel?

Nations: The Dice Game (can I please just call it Nations for this review as we know I am not talking about the original? Thanks.) is a civilization building, upgrade tile drafting, dice game for one to four players. Players will be upgrading their civilizations over four game rounds to compete for Books and VPs. The player with the most VP at the end of the game is the winner.


Disclaimer: The photos shown here is for a solo game, as I took them during my learning game using the solo rules. Normally the purple d4 is not used in multiplayer games. -T
To setup, each player will choose a starter civilization mat, receive five white dice, a gold chit, and a re-roll chit. Player order will be determined by cards and each player will receive their player order card which doubles as a reference card (great idea). The Progress Board will be set on the table and populated with randomized Age I Progress tiles according to the rule book. The Score Board will also be placed on the table to track Books, Events, and final VPs. The game begins with each player rolling their five dice.

Nations (TDG) is played over four ages with multiple rounds per age. At the beginning of each age old tiles will be removed from the Progress Board and new ones for the current age added. Also an Event tile will be drawn and placed on the Score Board to signify goals for Famine and War at the end of the age. On a player’s turn they will take one action from the following: Re-Roll (any or all unused dice by spending a re-roll chit), Buy tile (from the Progress Board to upgrade player mat spaces and dice), or Build Wonder (tile using Stone dice or chits for VP). When a player has taken as many turns/actions they wish for the age, they turn their player order card to the side to indicate they have passed for the remainder of the age.


Once all players have passed, they will tally their unused dice and any chits showing Books to be recorded on the Book track. Players will score points for Books based on how many opponents they have outscored for Books. Then players will consult the face-up Event tile that was revealed at the beginning of the round. The top portion displays VP earned when players discard unused dice and chits showing Famine leaf icons matching or exceeding what is on the Event tile. Similarly, for War players will consult the Event tile and use the sword icons on unused dice and chits to score any VPs for War. Play continues in this way across all four ages and once the fourth age has been scored the game ends and winner named victorious!
Components. I have mostly good news here. The dice in this dice game are wonderful. They are all easy to read and understand, and feel great when rolling nine or ten of them at once. The chits are fine, the Progress and Event tiles are nice and thick. The player mats, Score Board, and Progress Board are very thin though. I was going to give that a negative remark, but you know, players don’t really handle them during the game so there is no real need for them to be any thicker. The art is similar as in Nations, and while it does not resonate with me, it is fine. I won’t be playing Nations for the art.

All in all the game is fine. It didn’t blow me away or completely replace Nations (the big game) for me. It IS a pretty quick game to play, so there is one definite improvement over the big brother game; 10-15 minutes per player is pretty spot on. I usually do not prefer dice games to the originals (BANG! The Dice Game being the obvious improvement), and this one is really just on par with the big game. While it takes up less space on the shelf, I wouldn’t necessarily recommend it over its sibling. I feel the same way about each game, so my recommendation is get the version you feel would be played more often. Purple Phoenix Games gives Nations: The Dice Game a Montezuma-should-be-in-Age-IV 6 / 12. Give it a shot if you are into dice games, but grab the original if you want something meatier.
  
Terminator: Dark Fate (2019)
Terminator: Dark Fate (2019)
2019 | Action, Adventure, Sci-Fi
Thoughts on Terminator: Dark Fate

Characters – Dani is the sweet Mexican girl that keeps her family organized with everyday events, making sure her father gets to appointments and her brother joins her for work, her family means everything to her. When Grace turns up, she finds her perfect life ruined, when she needs to go on the run with her from a Terminator, not knowing why a normal young woman has been targeted, she will learn her importance to the future and learn skills alone the way. The only negative side for Dani, is that we don’t learn enough about her before the events happen, it is hard to figure out just how old she is too. Sarah Connor hasn’t stopped hunting Terminators, she is prepared for them all and saves the day, she knows how to stay off the radar, well for the most part one giant plot hole with her talk here, but is a bitter hard as nails woman. The Terminator has many surprises this time, he helps, gets plenty of laughs and as always will fight the superior model. The bad Terminator can fuse with anything it touches, being able to break into more than one threat and isn’t going to stop for anything, he is relentless and on a similar mission focused level as the first two villainous Terminators. Grace is the enhanced soldier sent back to protect Dani, she does need to be kept alive with medicine, proving to be a different level of protection then we have seen before, she has all the human traits, she has lived, fought and battled through the future and knows why she is here and how important this mission is.
Performances – First we will go through the returning cast, Linda Hamilton is wonderful to watch, not only is she perfect here, she lets the new cast members shine, which was one of the weakness of a film that did the same trick, Halloween. Arnold Schwarzenegger gives his best action performance since his return to acting, not only does he still have the fighting down, he has got perfect dead pan comedy down too. Mackenzie Davis might well have just made her an action star for years to come here, giving a performance that could be a star making one. Natalia Reyes does everything right for her character, it isn’t her performance that lets her down, it is certain developments in her character that hold her back. Gabriel Luna as the new Terminator is great too, it is nice they picked a lesser known actor, because a big name would have shifted focus on them instead of a faceless killer.
Story – The story here follows a young Mexican woman that has been targeted by a Terminator, for a reason she doesn’t know, she has a super soldier and Sarah Connor to protect her, as she learns about a future, where like Sarah Connor, she will have a big part to play in the war against the machines. This is a sequel that feels like it has re-imagined the original, mixed with the second one, this is all good because having a new face that needs to learn their part in the future is what makes Terminator different in story, the idea that technology has moved on, also helps this story unfold nicely showing us just how much we are going to see. For a story that is 2 hours long, this barely feels that long if we are being honest and by the end you will be wanting to see more, because even though we have returning characters, they don’t feel thrown in like Arnie’s in the last film.
Action/Sci-Fi – The action here is massive, this shows some great teamwork from the stunt teams too, the fights are people bashing the hell out of an indestructible robot, which means we can hit harder and it not look stupid, while we might have a couple too many cuts during them though. The sci-fi idea has moved on from previous films, which shows us just how much could change in the future, the war will always be coming.
Settings – The film does use the settings are a plot point, where it is, we need to get here, then here, via here, all but the final battle seems simple enough locations.
Special Effects – The effects for the most part are wonderful, there are a few questionable moments, but when you see the Terminator get hit, the metal exposing, doesn’t look out of place.

Scene of the Movie – Opening Chase.
That Moment That Annoyed Me – There is one on the nose reference to gun control in America.
Final Thoughts – This is an enjoyable action movie that brings the Terminator back to life for everybody to enjoy, this is bar far the best Terminator movie since Judgement Day.

Overall: Excellent Movie.
Rating
  
Kingdom (2019)
Kingdom (2019)
2019 | Action, Adventure, International
6
5.4 (5 Ratings)
Movie Rating
Action sequences. (2 more)
The Mountain Tribe.
Zuo Ci.
134-minute duration feels like a marathon. (1 more)
Drags a lot in its first half.
I haven’t read any of the 55 volumes (and counting) of Yasuhisa Hara’s Kingdom manga or watched any of the 77 episodes of the anime adapted by animation studio Pierrot (Bleach, Yu Yu Hakusho, and Tokyo Ghoul among many others). To make matters worse, I haven’t seen any of the films by director and co-screenwriter Shinsuke Sato (the two live-action Gantz films, Death Note: Light Up the New World, the live-action Bleach film for Netflix). I’m going into Kingdom completely blind and I have no idea if that makes the viewing experience any better or worse.

In 255 B.C., Kingdom revolves around the quick-tempered and charge-headfirst-into-battle-without-thinking Xin (Kento Yamazaki) that dreams of being the greatest general of the Qin Kingdom. There’s other stuff going on; a bloody 500 year war between the seven states of China, Xin’s best friend Piao (Ryô Yoshizawa) being enlisted by the King only to turn around and be killed, and King Yin Zheng being a splitting image of Piao, but nothing is emphasized or screamed louder than Xin’s desire to become the greatest general China has ever known.

Kingdom feels like it’s about 45 minutes too long for its own good. The first hour seems to drag as blood spraying into the air every now and then isn’t enough to keep you fully intrigued. The manga is an exaggerated recounting of Zheng actually becoming king in 221 B.C. during the Warring States period and eventually unifying China while the characters are loosely based on actual historical figures. The action adventure film attempts to portray Xin and Piao as worthy and capable swordsman because they clunked stick swords together 10,000 times in an empty field throughout their childhood and teenage years.

The film tries to compensate for its slow first hour with a more eventful second half, but it doesn’t totally succeed. Yang Duan He (Masami Nagasawa) and her mountain tribe are pretty awesome. Their masks remind you of something straight out of Princess Mononoke and you’ll be trying your hardest not to compare Yang Duan He to Xena: Warrior Princess. There’s this competition for the throne that gets a little complicated. Zheng’s brother Cheng Jiao (Kanata Hongo) is nasty and heartless and basically a human version of Salacious Crumb sitting on an even more elaborate version of Jabba the Hutt’s dais. Zheng and Jiao have the same father, but different mothers; Jiao’s is of royal blood and Zheng’s is a dancer or, in other words, a commoner. Jiao viewed peasantry as being bone deep; it isn’t something that can ever go away.

The main theme of Kingdom sounds like a direct ripoff of the main Guardians of the Galaxy theme, which is kind of brain-numbing. The prosthetics in the film are questionable with Li Dian, the original slave owner of Xin and Piao, having this awkwardly orange colored face, inhumanly puffy cheeks, stringy facial hair, and the ugliest facial expressions imaginable. After Xin joins up with Zheng, a girl in a bushy owl costume named He Liao Diao (Kanna Hasimoto) is mostly only around to take everyone to the mountains later. The chemistry Xin, Zheng, and Diao have is reminiscent of what Mugen, Jin, and Foo have in Samurai Champloo. Another observation is that Xin is basically Goku with Vegeta’s short-fuse temper; he lives to fight and eat, he’s dumber than a bag of rocks, and he can’t identify a woman when she’s standing directly in front of him.

Cheng Jiao’s go-to henchman, former general and current hitman for hire Zuo Ci (Tak Sakaguchi) may be the film’s coolest character. He doesn’t care about anybody, tells Xin that all dreams are BS, and is a part of what is arguably the best action sequence in the film. Meanwhile, General Wang Yi (Takao Ohsawa), the most renowned general in all of China and the guy with the status Xin plans on taking in the future, is a bit overrated. He mostly just parades his weird and pointy facial hair around and swings his giant sword as if it won’t remind us of Guts from Berserk.

All in all, Kingdom is a decent action adventure that just takes a while to really get going. The performances aren’t totally satisfying with Kento Yamazaki hamming it up on more than occasion and taking the brainless dolt with a huge mouth thing to uncomfortable levels. The story isn’t exactly hard to follow, but it does feel like it’s trying to be more convoluted than it needs to be. You don’t feel any sort of attachment to any of the characters and any sort of twist can be seen long before the reveal. Kingdom is just an okay way to spend two hours that is probably a justifiable rental on a day when you have nothing better to do, but is not worth paying full price to own.
  
An Amish Christmas Bakery (4 Stories)
An Amish Christmas Bakery (4 Stories)
10
8.7 (3 Ratings)
Book Rating
Cookies and Cheer by Amy Clipston:

Alyssa Byler dreaming of the next holiday window display for her work. As she draws out her idea for the window display and then she gets permission to create it. She needs to ask someone to make the cookie cutters for her. As Alyssa Byler get more ideas. Will they be all good. She asks Kyle Smoker to make the Cookie Cutters will happen when there is more demand?

Alyssa Byler seems to get pulled into the hustle and bustle and forget the most important thing about her lifestyle. As the season approves and gets busier. Everyone is trying to remind her of what import at this time when Christmas is coming.

Will she learn it and ask to be forgiven. Kyle and Alyssa's relationship grows. Will they make it through the rough patch. Celebrate the coming to Christ as it meant to be. Will Alyssa ask the one person to help give her a solution for her to be with her family and Kyle and help her friend Denise?

 Loaves of Love by Beth Wiseman:

What would you do if you were left in charge of the bakery during the holiday season? Well, Katie is and she seems to be seeing someone. Though we learn that she is the only girl in a family of eight. So she got to help once her mother is put on bed rest after surgery.

Henry has finally has been able to feel up to ask Katie out on a date. Will, he finally asks her or will it be too late? Henry seems to have some issues with his feelings. He is a family friend of Katie and her family.

There seems to be a woman that comes into the bakery and asks Katie if she can get her order and have it ready by Friday. As she was about the work on the order and miss lunch when David comes in take Katie out to dinner. What will she do?

It seems things get more interesting as the story goes on. What happens between Katie and David? What will happen between Claire and Henry? Katie's brother Jonas stops by as well. What will happen when Katie takes the new oven gift from David?

The woman seems to have ordered twelve loaves of bread. What she does with them. You will be surprised. Katie seems to want her wood ovens after trying it and some mishaps. This woman seems to give Katie a loaf of bread.

The woman talks about the number of twelve. There seem to be quite a few things in the bible the number twelve. She just says the lord was to give it to her and that she calls the bread “Loaves of Love” and then leaves the bakery. You will not believe how it ends when Katie sees another loaf of bread on the counter?

Melting Hearts by Kathleen Fuller:

Have you ever thought you were friends with someone and it turns out they are not your friend? Well, It seems this is the case with Mattie. Does Mattie think she would be like her best friend? Though maybe she should decide for herself.

Mattie is asked to come to help her aunt when she calls her. Though she after a few weeks. She finds out that Peter is coming. Though her aunt and uncle doe not know she strongly dislikes him. Though she believes Peter is horrible.

Peter arrives and things get more interesting between Mattie and Peter. Does Mattie know her friend is using her? Mattie seems to believe that Peter is someone that bad and not to be trusted? But maybe he's a nice guy but can not admit it. Mattie seems to tear between her beliefs and her feelings.

Peter comes to help out with an additional job that Atlee as offered him. Peter seems to be around Mattie. You will be surprised at how this ends. Who will trust who? Mattie's aunt Caroline and her Uncle Atlee get some unexpected news. They are shocked by the news. I do not want to give away the ending to either of the couples mentioned. Is Lizzy more mean and curl and why?

Cakes and Kisses by Kelly Irvin:

How would you feel if you were picked on when doing your job? It boys that do it and find out they do it on purpose. Well, Ambrose gets treated differently. Most everyone likes him. You will be surprised to learn about him.

Martha seems to be at a loss when she finds out her mother passes away. Leaving her and her sister Elsie and her younger siblings to care for. Martha seems to have a bit hard time with the loss of her mother. But will she find love?

Ambrose and Martha seem like they like each other. What will happen when they want to spend more time together? Martha wants to help Ambrose learn to read. Will happen. Burke and Carina seem to want to help her and Ambrose out as well.
  
Finding Esme
Finding Esme
Suzanne Crowley | 2018 | Children, Fiction & Poetry
9
9.0 (1 Ratings)
Book Rating
I love reading middle grade fiction, so when the chance to read and review Finding Esme by Suzanne Crowley came up, I jumped at the chance! I was really glad I got a chance to read Finding Esme because it was such an amazing book!

Esme is a 12 year old girl growing up in the 1970's. Her home life isn't very traditional. Her dad is out somewhere being a wanderer, and her mom is too busy worrying about her dad to look after Esme. The only person that really looks after Esme is her grandma Bee. When Esme finds dinosaur bones (which she'd like to keep secret) on a hill by her house, things start changing for Esme.

I really loved the plot of Finding Esme. There is a touch of magical realism within this book that written very well. Esme and her grandmother have certain gifts. They can find lost things and/or people usually. There's also sightings of ghosts although not spooky ghostly sightings. Suzanne Crowley does such a fantastic job of making the magical realism element seem like it's an every day happening in real life. She also does a fantastic job with Esme's dealing of loss and just with the whole plot overall. Although Finding Esme does start out a bit slow, as well as a bit confusing with a bunch of different names, it quickly picks up the pacing. Also, it because clear which character is which quickly. The wording may be confusing for some as it's written in semi-heavy Texas twang and slang throughout. However, context clues help. It was easyish for me to understand being as I was born and raised in Texas.

I must gush now on the characters found in Finding Esme! They were all so fleshed out and felt like they were actual people I was reading about instead of just being fictitious characters. Bee, Esme's grandmother, was probably my favorite character because I loved her no-nonsense approach to things. June Rain was always in la la land since her husband was always up and missing. My heart ached for her, but at the same time, I was angry with her for not paying more attention to her children, Esme and Bo. Sweetmaw was another great character, and I loved her for watching out for Esme when Esme felt she had no one. Finch, Esme's best friend, cared for Esme very much, and it was obvious throughout the novel. He only wanted what was best for Esme even if she had a hard time figuring that out. I loved little Bo, Esme's younger brother. I can't remember if Bo's age is ever mentioned in Finding Esme. I guessed Bo to be around 7 or so based on how he acted. Esme was a fantastically written main character. I could relate to her on so many levels especially when it came to not feeling loved or wanted. I'm sure we've all felt like this at some point in our lives. Esme was wanting to keep her dinosaur bones (which she endearingly refers to as Louella Goodbones) secret just so she could have at least one thing that was just hers. I was angered when her secret bones were no longer her secret (not a spoiler). I just wanted to hug Esme to let her know that she wasn't alone. She seemed like such a sweet girl who had already had to put up with more things than most children her age.

One main thing I feel that I must mention is this is Finding Esme is listed as being a middle grade book. I guess this is because the main character is 12 years old. I felt like this wasn't a typical middle grade read as it lacks a middle grade feel. The wording and narrative seemed to be written towards more of an older audience especially with mentions of things that happened in the past that a middle grade audience may not know about or understand. I feel like Finding Esme would probably go over most middle grader's head with the language and events that happened. Even though Esme is only 12, I feel like adults would enjoy this more or at least a young adult audience.

Trigger warnings for Finding Esme include death, depression, gun violence (although not graphic), an absent father, and profanity (although it was just the word damnation used once).

Overall, Finding Esme is a fantastical read which will tug at your heartstrings and leave you breathless. It's a quick read that you won't want to put down. At least, I didn't! I never wanted it to end if I'm being honest. I would definitely recommend Finding Esme by Suzanne Crowley to those aged 15+. Yes, it's supposed to be a middle grade read, but as I mentioned before, I really think adults and possibly teens would enjoy it more.
--
(A special thank you to Suzanne Crowley for sending me a hardback of Finding Esme in exchange for an honest and unbiased review.)
  
The Lady In The Van (2015)
The Lady In The Van (2015)
2015 | Drama
8
6.5 (4 Ratings)
Movie Rating
In the last two decades America has seen an almost literal ‘invasion’ of British film and television programming. Like the British ‘music invasion’ some 60 years ago we just can’t seem to get enough of it. Today’s film for your consideration is the 2015 British dramatic comedy ‘The Lady In The Van’. Based upon the 1999 West End play of the same name written by Alan Bennett and starring famed British actress Maggie Smith, who also portrayed the lead in the original stage production at Queens Theater in London and again in a 2009 BBC 4 radio adaption, ‘The Lady In The Van’ follows the true story of Maggie Shepherd. An elderly lady who lived in a rundown van in Bennett’s driveway for 15 years.

Directed by Nicholas Hytner, who also directed the stage play, the film stars legendary British actress Maggie Smith as Maggie Shepherd, Alex Jennings as Alan Bennett, Jim Broadbent as Underwood, Deborah Findlay as Pauline, Roger Allam as Rufus, Gwen Taylor as Mam, Cecillia Noble as Miss Brisco, Nicholas Burns as Giles Perry, Pandora Colin as Mrs Perry, and Frances de la Tour As Ursula Vaughan Williams.

‘The Lady In The Van’ follows the true story of playwright Alan Bennett’s strained and tested relationship with Miss Maggie Shepherd. An eccentric and frightened homeless woman whom he befriended in the 1970s shortly after he moved into London’s Camden neighborhood. Originally, Bennett invites Shepherd to park her aging Bedford van in his driveway so she can list it as an address in order to collect benefits and eventually move on. Instead, Shepherd ends up living in the van in Bennett’s driveway for 15 years. Just before her death in 1989, Alan learns that Maggie Shepherd is actually Margaret Fairchild. A gifted piano player who was a pupil of pianist Alfred Cortot and had a fondness for Chopin. So much so that when she tried to become a nun, she was kicked out of her religious order twice for wanting to play music. Bennett also learns that the reason Shepherd was homeless was that she was on the run for leaving the scene of a crime she didn’t commit after escaping an institution where she’d been committed by her own brother.

I found this movie to be a prime example of the concept ‘Everyone Has A Story To Tell’. Whether the person wants to tell the story or not is a whole other idea entirely. The strange friendship between Bennett and Shepherd is certainly an unusual one to be sure. While Bennett’s neighbors would be happy to see they as they describe ‘the crazy old lady leave the neighborhood, Bennett seems to follow his writer’s instincts and also his humanity. Maggie Smith’s and Alex Jennings’s performances as the oddly paired friends go far in helping to comprehend what went on between the two. Shepherd and Bennett both excelled as artists in their own way. One as a writer one as a musician. Both kinds of artists tell stories thorough their respective crafts. In this case though, the writer (Bennett) had the ‘responsibility’ of telling Shepherd’s story after debating with himself more than once whether he had the right to do so and whether it was moral or not. On top of that, it took over a decade to find the answers Bennett was looking for. In the end, it seems Bennett did what writers do. They use what’s around them in their lives to write about. And perhaps, by doing so, he helped give Shepherd some sort of closure and perhaps peace as well just before her death.

I’m going to give this film 4 out of 5 stars. The movie clocks in at 104 minutes so it is a long movie but honestly, how can you say ‘no’ to a movie with Maggie Smith? Honestly, explain that one to me. She definitely ‘carries the film’ with her performance as Miss Mary Shepherd but the combination of her performance and that of Alex Jennings as the writer Alan Bennett that really make the film. I think another one of the reasons this film was good was because you had so many of the people that were involved in the original play that worked on the film itself. I personally find some British films, comedies in particular, to be a bit quirky sometimes. As funny as British humor is its sometimes difficult to grasp at first and there’s a bit of that in this film. Don’t let that discourage you though. If you can find an awesome art house movie theater, I’d certainly recommend going to catch it there. If you can’t, watch it online.

This is your friendly neighborhood freelance photographer and movie fanatic ‘The CameraMan’ and on behalf of my fellows at Skewed & Reviewed I’d like to say ‘Thanks For Reading’ and we’ll see you at the movies.
  
The Hangover Part II (2011)
The Hangover Part II (2011)
2011 | Comedy
It has been two years since writer-director producer Todd Phillips unleashed the mother of all benders on audiences with The Hangover. The film about four buddies on a lost weekend in Vegas was a comedic tour de force that left audiences laughing from start to finish and went on to be the highest grossing R-rated film in history. Naturally when a film does this kind of business, thoughts turned to a sequel and Phillips has returned with the original cast and crew to follow up this comedy classic.

Plot of the film mild-mannered dentist Stu (Ed Helms), who is getting married in Thailand to the girl of his dreams. Undaunted by the fact that his fiancé’s father despises everything about him, Stu convinces his best friends Phil (Bradley Cooper), and Doug (Justin Bartha), to take the 16 hour flight to attend the ceremony. When news reaches them that a crestfallen Alan (Zach Galifianikis), is waiting for his invitation to the ceremony, Stu is reluctant because he does not want a repeat of what happened in Vegas.

But despite their misgivings, the friends decide to include Alan in the ceremony and embark to the airport for the long flight to Thailand. They’re joined at the airport by Stu’s future brother-in-law Teddy (Mason Lee), a child prodigy who was already attending Stanford at 16 and has designs on a future medical career. As Stu’s fiance explains later in the film, Teddy is their father’s “most prized possession.”

Alan takes an instant disliking to Teddy and sees him as an outsider in their “wolf pack” and doesn’t miss an opportunity to try to exclude Teddy. Upon their arrival in beautiful Thailand, the friends get through a somewhat awkward dinner with the future in-laws and relax on the beach for a bonfire and bachelor party. Phil makes sure to be extra careful to avoid any of the issues they had in Vegas and selects bottled beer that was given to them by the hotel staff and makes sure that every one of them only gets an unopened bottle to drink.

Despite these precautions, Stu, Phil, and Alan wake up the next morning in a seedy hotel with absolutely no memory of how they got there and what happened the night before. Stu now sports a fresh facial tattoo while Alan has a completely shaved head. Matters are further complicated when the group realizes that Teddy is missing and that what appears to be his severed finger is found to be floating in a bucket of water.

As if things were not bad enough, matters take an even extreme turn for the worse when a monkey and Mr. Chow (Ken Jeong), show up and add even bigger complications to the already complex situation. The group learns that Doug is safely back at the resort and waiting for their arrival at breakfast after having left the bonfire early, leaving Stu, Alan and Phil to piece together the forgotten events of the night and locate Teddy before the wedding. Along the way they run into criminals, the sleazy side of Bangkok, upset monks, and much more as they race against time to solve the mystery and locate Teddy.

What follows is a comedic adventure complete with jaw-dropping sequences that leaves the audience shocked at just how far they push the envelope. The cast works well with one another and there are some truly funny moments in the film. The biggest issue with the movie is that it must walk a fine line between using the established formula of friends trying to remember and deal with the consequences of their lost evening while not repeating itself.

This is a very tricky proposition as the film essentially follows the same plot line of the original film: a group of friends are trying to remember the previous night and locate a missing member prior to a wedding. There are also similar jokes such as Stu dealing with a tattoo instead of a missing tooth and Alan’s constant nonsensical bantering and plethora of useless information.

Instead of trying to reinvent the wheel director Todd Phillips instead focuses on the relationship of the cast and allows the unique and exotic setting to be the new character and foil for the comedy. Many times in the film it is established that Teddy must be located before “Bangkok gets him” and as such the city offers endless opportunities for the cast.

The film does drag at the three quarters mark but recovers nicely, leading to a predictable finale. While the film was not as thoroughly funny as the original, in terms of humor and storytelling, but there are still plenty of laughs and eye-popping scenes that make it an enjoyable comedy. There are rumors that Phillips has plans for third film in the series to complete the trilogy. If this is indeed the case I would welcome a third film with the understanding that more care be put into the plot to avoid rehashing previous jokes and situations.
  
Cigarette Teeth
Cigarette Teeth
Maul Allan Hewish | 2020 | Horror, Science Fiction/Fantasy, Thriller
9
9.0 (1 Ratings)
Book Rating
Great writing (1 more)
Amazing descriptions
In this day-and-age, everyone is willing to do anything to get what they want. People leave their morals and values behind at the drop of a hat. Partly, because of this, mental illness is at an all-time high and happiness is at an all-time low.

What if I told you there was a phone number you could call that would give you whatever you wanted...for a simple favor in return? Enter : Cigarette Teeth. The horror novel concerns two different places that exist in our world: the Pleasure Palace, where the Magician resides in an overcast of red light where he helps make peoples' 'dreams' come true, and our reality - - - the world as we've grown to know it.

Our main character, Mike Hadley, can't remember his past or how he ended up working for the Magician, but he's more than happy to do what he's told in Cigarette Teeth. Some things seem familiar to him, like his working partner, Tommy; but if you asked him what he did last night for the Magician, he wouldn't be able to tell you or remember it himself. Harper, a man Hadley meets early on in the story, who is the stereo-typical hardened detective, tells Hadley that he knows that the Pleasure Palace has been the cause of hundreds of disappearances - - - including Harper's own brother and sister- - - and demands that Hadley help him get into the Palace to find them.

Hadley is kidnapped by Harper while people working for the Pleasure Palace begin to come after them, trying to kill them. Unlike Hadley, Harper has done a lot of detective work on the Pleasure Palace and knows much more than he does. For Hadley, a lot of things begin to make sense and no sense at the same time, like people who work for the Pleasure Palace can't die, instead they regenerate in a very gruesome way- - - something he had never seen happen before. Now, being away from the Palace, whenever Hadley falls asleep, memories start to come back to him in the form of dreams; most of them take place in metaphorical places that slowly unwrap his tragic past to the reader.

I often found myself fascinated by the characters Hewish came up with that live in the Pleasure Palace. One being the Zipper Sisters: "Kela and and Lua Von Zipper. Conjoined twins; connected at the hip and zipped into the one gigantic pinched- leather corset. Two heads, two arms, and four legs, all sealed in an ornate, Victorian-style leather dress hemmed with black lace.

Their makeup was corpse-white, their lipstick blood red. Their eyes were shadowed with a weeping pastel green, like something from a carnival sideshow. Their 18th-century dress continued with ruffles and lacy stockings, all the colour of snow. The two pairs of shoes they wore- - - shiny little school shoes, the ones with the clasps over the top- - - completed the look. It gave these sinister twins a suggested air of innocence- - - the filthiest of lies. "

When the pair meet with the Architect of the Pleasure Palace (Horitoshi Li), the story really begins to take off. The information given to them by Li about the Magician is the real start to their journey to stop the Palace and find Harper's missing siblings, as long as they include Li in the plan.

As expected, a friend of Harper's, named Sophie, gets caught up in their journey- - - saving their lives more than once, thanks to her nursing background. Sophie felt like a filler character at first, but in the end, I think she was needed to make the story well-rounded, like her insight of psychology: "...But...it's just interesting. Did you know the second most common dream people have is about their teeth? After the 'being chased' phenomenon that usually coincides with a hallway and a door. Most notable psychologists don't really offer insight on dreams- - - the most popular consensus is that they're nothing more than cerebral static, just garbled images and words that occasionally form to make something that seems to have weight..."

Though I want to say so much more about the novel, it would give away a lot of the surprises that are hidden inside. Hewish's writing is gold; the way he describes scenes is beautifully done, but he did waste some of this talent on places where the characters weren't even there for more than a scene (and nothing really came of it). Also, Harper states one time early in the book that he has killed Hadley before... this is never explained or spoken of again. I think that was a very important part to this story, especially with how things turn out between Harper and Hadley.

There were only a few inconsistencies that are completely able to be looked over and don't ruin the novel. This is master storytelling, and I am looking very forward to more work by Hewish! I would recommend this book to fans of the show "Twin Peaks," and the video game (because I love horror video games) "Evil Within." Highly recommend!
  
Old (2021)
Old (2021)
2021 | Fantasy, Horror, Thriller
5
6.1 (12 Ratings)
Movie Rating
Having been out of the "coming soon" game for quite a while so this one came as a surprise when I saw the trailer. It looked good, but there's always that "what is Shyamalan going to do" feeling.

An idyllic resort, a glorious beach. What starts out to be a pleasant day trip turns into tragedy and horror as the guests start ageing at an accelerated rate. What's going on and why can't they seem to do anything about it?

I'm going to mix this up a bit from my usual reviews because it seems appropriate for this oddity of a film.

As a whole, the film probably has a place in the Lost extended universe (especially considering Miles' role in it). Mystery and generalised horror abound, and you're left for prolonged periods of time with more questions than answers. Let's cover the biggie though.

That whole ageing thing... it is in the trailer so I'm going to do my best not to be spoilery.

Let's face it... there's a massive inconsistency. I'm happy to go with the fact that kids will change more physically with age than the adults will initially... no problem with that bit. But the assembled people on the beach have been there for (more or less) two different periods of time. While I don't remember it being established when the first arrived, I would have expected a more pronounced visual than the one we were presented with.

When the group get to the beach, Maddox is 11 and her brother Trent is 6. then there's Kara who is also 6. They progressively age throughout the events and we end up with three teenage looking kids. I'm still on board here, perfectly "logical". But here is also where I start to tail off into what could be a massive psychological debate... their bodies age, but their minds are only exposed to what is around them in that time, so are their actions in line with that?

Thomasin McKenzie seemed to have the right balance, with her character at a starting age of 11 she has the best chance of getting away with it, and her effort was good. I'm not sure the same is true of Alex Wolff and Eliza Scanlen though. Their storyline together, and their behaviour, didn't feel consistent. Particularly with Trent. Mentally the pair should still have been 6, or at least more immature than their look, but that didn't come across very effectively.

We're introduced to all of the characters in fairly quick succession at the beginning, but you do get a very clear idea about what you can expect from them going forward. They don't all really work together, and if chaos wasn't a necessary part of the film then I think I would have tired quickly of them all. As it was, I didn't particularly like any of the characters, including the parents of Trent and Maddox, but at least their journey evolved well through the film.

I feel like I need to mention the dubious sexualisation of the kids, in particular when we have Thomasin McKenzie as Maddox. When they discover the kids have aged up, Mum tells her to change into a swimsuit she has in her bag. The swimsuit she was already wearing covered everything relatively well, and actually has more cloth on it than the alternative. When I think about the things I bring to a beach in my bag with me, I bring a t-shirt, shorts, a sarong... never a second bikini. Would it not have been more logical to give her something different to wear? And was it really necessary to be there at all? I also have another point under this, but it would constitute spoilers I'm afraid.

Old's beach location is stunning, and some of the features allow for a slightly sinister edge. But a lot of the atmosphere is brought in with the cameras, and at one point I felt a rage come over me because of a collection of panning shots of the group. Yes, I know there are better things to be annoyed about, but it bugged me, I couldn't help it!

As a quick round-up of other points:
- I quite enjoyed Shyamalan's role
- Listening to people pronounce my surname wrong gives me palpitations, and
- The one bit of massively noticeable CGI was bad, so very, very, bad.

I'm interested to read the source material and see how its ending compares to what Shyamalan conjured. It's difficult to discuss the end without spoilers, but that's probably just as well because it'll lead to another heavy discussion. The actual resolution though does have a satisfying moment, even though it felt a little wrong.

Now for my overall feelings on the film... I enjoyed the mystery of it, and there are plenty of debates that arise. But the inconsistent moments in the ageing and how the ending comes around, sadly ate into my total score.

Originally posted on: https://emmaatthemovies.blogspot.com/2021/08/old-movie-review.html
  
Fantastic Beasts: Crimes of Grindelwald (2018)
Fantastic Beasts: Crimes of Grindelwald (2018)
2018 | Adventure, Family, Fantasy, Mystery
Lestranger than fiction.
I must be one of the last people to watch this in the cinema, thanks to an irritating bout of sickness and – well – frankly total bloody apathy! For me this is the franchise that nobody asked for and nobody wanted. (Well, “nobody” is probably overstating the case, since there is probably a bunch of Potterheads out there who are shouting at me right now). But judging from the opinion of my daughter-in-law, who could win “Mastermind” with her knowledge of the original Potter series as her specialist subject, I am certainly not alone in my lack of enthusiasm.

The Plot
I’d really love to tell you about the plot. I really would! But I would struggle to pull all the multitude of strands together from J.K. Rowling’s story and coherently explain them to anyone. If Rowling had put ten thousand monkeys (not a million – it’s no bloody Shakespeare) into a room with typewriters and locked the door I wouldn’t be surprised.

Let me try at a high level….. The arch-criminal wizard Grindelwald (Johnny Depp) is being tortured in ‘Trump Tower’, but manages to escape and flees to Paris in pursuit of a mysterious circus performer called Credence (Ezra Miller) and his bewitched companion Nagini (nudge, nudge, wink, wink) played fetchingly by Claudia Kim. Someone needs to stop him, and all eyes are on Albus Dumbledore (Jude Law). But he is unable to do so, since he and Grindelwald are “closer than brothers” (nudge, nudge, wink, wink). So a reluctant and UK-grounded Newt Scamander (Eddie Redmayne) is smuggled into the danger zone… which suits him just fine since his love Tina (Katherine Waterston) is working for the ministry there, and the couple are currently estranged due to a (topical) bout of ‘Fake News’.

Throw in a potential love triangle between Newt, his brother Theseus (Callum Turner) and old Hogwart’s schoolmate Leta Lestrange (Zoë Kravitz) and about a half dozen other sub-plots and you have… well… a complete bugger’s muggle – – sorry – – muddle.

A plot that’s all at sea
Above all, I really can’t explain the crux of the plot. A venerable diarrhoea of exposition in a crypt, during an inexplicably quiet fifteen minutes (given ‘im-who-can-be-named is next door with about a thousand other people!) left me completely bewildered. A bizarre event at sea (no spoilers) would seem to make absolutely NO SENSE when considered with another reveal at the end of the film. I thought I must have clearly missed something… or I’d just not been intelligent enough to process the information…. or…. it was actually completely bonkers! Actually, I think it’s the latter: in desperation I went on a fan site that tried to explain the plot. While it was explained there, the explanation aligned with what I thought had happened: but it made no mention of the ridiculousness of the random coincidence involved!

The turns
The film’s a mess. Which is a shame since everyone involved tries really hard. Depp oozes evil very effectively (he proves that nicely on arriving in Paris, and doubles-down about 5 minutes later: #veryverydark). Redmayne replays his Newt-act effectively but once again (and I see I made the same comments in my “Fantastic Beasts” review) his character mumbles again so much that many of his lines are unintelligible.

I also complained last time that the excellent actress Katherine Waterston was criminally underused as the tentative love interest Tina. this trend unfortunately continues unabated in this film…. you’ll struggle afterwards to write down what she actually did in this film.

Jacob (Dan Fogler) and Queenie (Alison Sudol, looking for all the world in some scenes like Rachel Weisz) reprise their roles in a sub-plot that goes nowhere in particular.

Of the newcomers, Jude Law as Dumbledore is a class-act but has very little screen time: hopefully he will get more to do next time around. Zoë Kravitz impresses as Leta.

Wizards of the screen
As you would expect from a David Yates / David Heyman Potter collaboration, the product design, costume design and special effects are all excellent. Some scenes are truly impressive – an ‘explosion’ in a Parisian garret is particularly spectacular.

But special effects alone do not a great film make. Many reviews I’ve seen complain that this was a ‘filler’ film… a set-up film for the rest of the series. And I can understand that view. If you analyse the film overall, virtually NOTHING of importance actually happens: it’s like the “Order of the Phoenix” of the prequels.

Final Thoughts
I dragged myself along to see this one because “I thought I should”. The third in the series will really need to sparkle to make me want to see it. If J.K. Rowling were to take me advice (she won’t – she NEVER returns my calls!) then she would sculpt the story-arc but leave the screenwriting to someone better. The blame for this one, I’m afraid, lies at Rowling’s door alone.