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The Taken (Celestial Blues, #1)
2
2.0 (1 Ratings)
Book Rating
Even though I'm not especially fond of angels, I decided to try out this new series based on my previous experiences with Vicki Pettersson's work. Sadly, after an intriguing first chapter, any enjoyment I may have expected never came knocking (guess it was too busy knockin' on heaven's door).

Meet one of the two main characters, rockabilly girl Katherine "Kit" Craig. She's an eternally optimistic and peppy reporter whose best friend and co-worker, Nicole, was just murdered while following a lead. Our other MC is a haunted Centurion angel named Griffin Shaw who ushers the newly murdered into the afterlife, otherwise known as the Everlast, while bemoaning the murders of both himself and his wife Evie back in 1960. After making a mistake concerning Nicole, he's been sent back to earth as a human with some angelic senses still intact. Kit and Grif soon meet up and begin investigating the circumstances around Nicole's death, whilst Griffin seeks out any details involving his own.

Problem Number One:
The Cardboard Characters
Character development is supposed to unfold over the course of a book, in this case it actually appeared to deteriorate as the book went on. Kit never developed into anything but one of those annoyingly chipper people you just want to hit with a sledgehammer, while Grif started promisingly enough but then stagnated. They were both very shallow characterizations, and on top of that, I never understood Kit's actions or reactions to just about anything. I never felt her sadness about her best friend's death, whom she rarely gave a passing thought, believed she was smart (by the end, I thought her a dolt), or seem in any way human with nary a rational thought in her head. About mid-way through the book, Grif tells her he's an angel after they kiss, so what does she do? Does she a) run away screaming, b) think he's a few feathers short of a goose and tell him to get hell out of her house and life, or c) have a calm Q&A session followed by giving him a whatfor that consists of "I won't kiss you again" and "you're watching me walk out that door (in her own house) because you can't handle any emotion blah, blah, blah by pretending you're an angel" and then proceed to attend a charity event wherein she acts and converses normally, like nothing happened? If you picked "c" *ding ding ding*, you're a winner! Because as we all know, any sensible guy will pull out the "I'm an angel" trick and expect a woman to believe him. *rolls eyes* Never was it ever crystal clear if Kit thought Grif was either crazy or a liar. It was all a bit hazy, but what can you expect from someone we're never allowed to know? All we discern is she dresses and lives (somewhat) rockabilly, but it's all a veneer to her hollowness inside, which led me to dub her Rockabilly Barbie.
<img src="http://i272.photobucket.com/albums/jj183/piscesrain/reviews/RockabillyBarbie.jpg">;
Because that's all she is and nothing more. The only character that I found a little more well-rounded was the secondary character Bridget Moore and the two Centurions introduced close to the end. Everyone else was either forgettably two-dimensional or they were a caricature, a la Caleb Chambers and Paul Raggio.

Problem Number Two:
The Relationship(s)
I'm expected to believe in a possible relationship between Grif and Rockabilly Barbie, err I mean Kit, but there's not much there to believe in. Like the characters, it was shallow with the same descriptions reiterated over and over again. Basically it's a case of telling instead of showing. I felt no love, maybe some attraction, but that's all she wrote. Likewise I never bought that Kit and Paul could ever have gotten far enough to be married, they were just too different. Most people don't do a 180 after they get married, the seed of who Paul really was deep down inside would have already been there and if Kit was even a fraction astute, she should have caught that. All this served was to be a plot point in the book.

Problem Number Three:
The Plot(s)
The main plot involving Nicole's death and Chambers had a "been there, done that" quality to it. The plot didn't shock me or seem like anything new, I've come across the same before or at least plots that were very close, and it wasn't even told in a fresh way. So I wasn't as affected by anything in the book as I probably should have been, partially due to the indifference I felt and the fact that I figured out everything long before the author dropped, what I guess she thought, were informational bombshells.
The book had three major plotlines: Grif and Evie's deaths, Nicole's death/prostitution ring, and Grif and the Pure Anas' philosophical moments. They weren't juggled well at all. Ms. Pettersson should have picked only one and paid more attention to developing that specific plot and the characters. The scenes with Anas (or Anne) especially didn't mesh with the other stories and felt as if the author was overreaching the boundaries set up by the book. One scene in particular was extremely bizarre and pointless to the book as a whole.
Where was the noir? I've seen enough film noirs to know it ain't here.

Problem Number Four:
The Ending
What happened at the end is what I'd expect in a book that's exclusively romance and not in a mystery/urban fantasy hybrid, which made the rushed ending seem even more ridiculous and sappy. It was incredibly unbelievable to the story and didn't seem to set up the next book in any way. Also, one of the plotlines was all but left dangling with no foreshadowing or anything. Poor, poor, poor execution. Don't expound on a storyline if you're not going to finish it up or at least leave it dangling in a way that makes the reader want to come back. All that boring set-up for a completely stupid and cheesy ending. I expected rainbows and unicorns to pop out at any moment.

Overall the book felt more like a rough copy than a finished one and definitely could have used a few more goings over. Several descriptions were rushed and chaotic or simply poorly done so that I was scrambling to picture what was going on. The book is almost 400 pages and it is simply too long. With so many storylines, I'm not sure how they managed to both crawl and have very little action at the same time. I was going to give this two stars because I didn't hate the book, that would imply that it elicited any feelings what-so-ever, but the truth of the matter is that there isn't one thing I really liked about the book either. The only way I'd read a sequel to the bafflingly-named Celestial Blues series is if it featured different leads like the aforementioned Centurions, and even then I'd cautiously dip my toes into the book.

Originally reviewed: June 29
Received: Amazon Vine
  
Christmas Lights
Christmas Lights
2018 | Abstract Strategy, Memory
A Christmas game? Me?? I have never really been super into Christmastime. My wife (and kids obvs) are mega Christmas fiends, and I am trying to get more into the spirit all the time. So when a call for reviewers went out for this one, I wanted to give it a shot especially now during mid-December. For my wife, of course. Certainly not for me… Certainly not for me.

Christmas Lights is a card game for two to six players that has each player attempting to organize their tangle of light strands into some sort of order. However, as the lights aren’t yet on players are working in the dark. Therefore players cannot see the lights they are untangling and will need help from other players along the way.

DISCLAIMER: We were provided a copy of this game for the purposes of this review. This is a retail copy of the game, so what you see in these photos is exactly what would be received in your box. I do not intend to cover every single rule included in the rulebook, but will describe the overall game flow and major rule set so that our readers may get a sense of how the game plays. For more in depth rules, you may purchase a copy online or from your FLGS. -T


To setup a game shuffle and place out the Event, Pattern, and Bulb card decks into their piles. Deal each player five Bulb cards face-down and two Pattern cards. Each player will also be given a random Character card and player aid card. Whomever is dealt the Santa character will be the first player. The players will consult their Pattern cards and choose one to begin working on initially. The game is now ready to begin!
On a turn a player has the opportunity to take four different actions, in their specific order: Play, Swap, Sale, and Refill. To Play one or more cards, simply choose it/them from hand and place it/them down to begin or continue the strand pictured on the first Pattern card in exact sequence order. Should a player wish to Swap cards with another player, they simply take the swap card from their hand and grab whichever card they please from an opponent’s hand to be placed in their own. Next the player may offer a card from their hand to be sold to other players during the Sale phase. Should another player wish to purchase the card, they spend not money but information to the seller. This information comes in the form of answers to yes/no questions about cards in the active player’s hand. Wait, why, you ask? Because player hands in this game are played facing away from the player, exactly like are played in Hanabi. That’s right, players do not see the cards in their own hands, but rather every other player’s hand. Once some or all of these phases have been played, the active player will need to Refill their hand back up to five cards. It is now the next player’s turn.

Each of these steps will need to be taken in order. Should a player not wish to Swap, for example, they may not hold a Sale and then decide to Swap afterward.

Some Bulb cards are special. These include the Broken Bulb, the Bubble Bulb, and the Plug. A player may place a Broken Bulb anywhere in their strand sequence as a temporary placeholder, but it will need to be covered up by the correctly-colored Bulb card in the future before the player is able to score the strand. The Bubble Bulb is essentially a Wild Bulb and can be played in place of any colored Bulb. However, once played it will remind the player to draw and play an Event card immediately. These Event cards may be either good or bad for the active player, so there is risk in playing the wild Bubble Bulbs. Once the first strand is completed per the appropriate Pattern card, the player will need to play a Plug card in order to connect their first strand to their next. Then the player will be able to begin work on their second strand.


Play continues in this fashion of blind play and deduction of held cards until one player successfully completes both of their Pattern cards. Every player will be able to take the same amount of turns, and if there is a tie between players the used Broken and Bubble Bulb cards will be taken into consideration to determine the winner.
Components. This is a card game. There are a lot of cards. The cards are all great quality, and though I have seen reports of flimsy stock or even see-through quality thickness, I have not had this issue (though I believe I have the second edition of the game, so that might be a difference existing between the editions). The art on the cards is very cute and endearing. Each color of bulb is also a different shape so our colorblind friends should have an easier time playing as well. Each card is laid out well and I have no complaints about components at all.

The gameplay is such that I believe players will either love or hate. Not being able to see the cards in your hand can certainly be stressful and frustrating, but it is a very light card game. Get over it. Again, if you have played Hanabi before, you know the feeling. But it changes the game so drastically when you have to remember what’s in your hand at all times, and when players are swapping with you left and right it is definitely easy to forget what’s going on in your hand. Not that I ever had that problem… Okay, it happens all the time, but I just laugh it off.

I do love this little game and am so happy I took a chance on it. Though I am still learning to love Christmas (Halloween is my jam), this game has a ton going for it. In addition to the game I have loosely described in this review Christmas Lights comes with a booklet that has rule sets for 12 different games that can be played with the included components. TWELVE EXTRA GAME MODES. That’s crazy! So when purchasing Christmas Lights people are actually purchasing 13 games in one box, with two of those modes being for Solo players. The variety and replayability here is off the charts and I am excited to play through the other game modes as soon as I can, and I know my wife will be into as well.

That said, having a Christmas-themed game that delights my wife and I equally is certainly something that I can easily recommend. Purple Phoenix Games gives this one a cheery 10 / 12 for its portability, variability, cute art, and great game play. If you see it in stores, pick up a copy. I am going out on a limb and saying that you could even play this game when it’s NOT Christmastime and still have a great experience with it. If you are looking for something a little different and like Hanabi but wish for something else, give Christmas Lights a shot. Hopefully you will find it as charming as we both do. Oh, and a little pro tip: pour yourself a mug of chai and grab a gingerbread cookie whilst playing. Not necessary, but it certainly works for us. Happy Holidays, ALL holidays, everyone!
  
Xenohunters
Xenohunters
2021 | Horror, Science Fiction
What do you find absolutely terrifying? A great many things are on my list, and one of them happens to be the main theme for Xenohunters – heroes attempting to blow up a space station that has been overrun by hostile alien threats, but said aliens are adept at sneaking and can rise up just before you and deliver a deadly blow. I know I can’t be the only one shuddering at THAT thought. So when my friends over at Half-Monster Games contacted me about previewing their new game I knew I was in for one crazy ride.

In Xenohunters one player will act as the main alien force while the other players will divvy up the four hunter characters to oppose. The alien wins when the human threat is eliminated and the humans win once the alien threat is eliminated or once the space station has been blown up with a bomb and at least one human survivor leaving on the spaceship. Tensions run high and every being is on high alert. So let’s get into this! Pre-disclaimer: as this game has many delicate rules I will be giving a high-level overview of gameplay and more opinion on my plays at the end.

DISCLAIMER: We were provided a prototype copy of this game for the purposes of this review. These are preview copy components, and I do not know for sure if the final components will be any different from these shown. Also, it is not my intention to detail every rule in the game, as there are just too many. You are invited to download the rulebook, back the game through the Kickstarter campaign, or through any retailers stocking it after fulfillment. -T


To setup consult the rules until the table looks similar to what is shown below. Beware: this game does take up quite a bit of table real estate to plan accordingly and use “the big table.”
Xenohunters is played in rounds until one side has achieved their win condition, as explained above. The aliens, or “Xenos,” will take their turns first, and then the human squad is able to take theirs. Xenohunters offers a loose turn structure in that each character is allowed two or three actions to take, but the actions and the characters on each side may take turns and actions however they wish in any order they wish. So the Xenos could move Alien 1 (not the name given in the game), then activate something with Alien 2, and then two more actions with Alien 1 before Alien 2 completes their turn. And same goes for the human squad.

Much of the game revolves around movement within the space station, either visible or hidden. Players are able to use abilities, gain special cards, hatch alien eggs, move through the vents, block doorways, and bomb individual rooms on the path to victory. Once a human player is attacked and killed, they immediately switch sides and can be respawned as a Hybrid Spawn that belongs to the Xeno team. The remaining human players are now at a disadvantage toward satisfying their victory condition and have another alien hunting them down.


Play continues in this loose turn fashion until one side can claim victory and the game ends.
Components. Again, this is a rough prototype printed and assembled in house at Half-Monster Games, so it is possible that many of the components will look very different when finalized. That said, I truly enjoy the art style featured on many components, and though the game tone is very dark and brooding (not typically my style), the majority of component choices are well done and well suited for this style. I wish I could see a finalized version to truly comment on, but from what I was provided I believe the game will look amazing once complete.

Gameplay. This is where I wanted to spend most of my preview. This game reminds me of a cross between Escape from the Aliens in Outer Space, the wildly-popular (right? I don’t play it so I don’t really know) Among Us digital game, and most tabletop RPGs on the market. I make these comps because in the former, all movement is hidden until something bad happens. Here in Xenohunters movement is hybrid hidden and visible, but players should try to remain hidden as much as possible. The first game played did not value hidden movement as much and the Xenos won rather quickly by just barreling through the space station and unleashing hellish damage on the humans. In Among Us only the Impostor can travel through vents (right?) and here in Xenohunters only the aliens are able to use the vents initally; the humans will need a special item card in order to use the vents, and even then it is only one time.

Once a player meets on the same space as another player from the opposing team combat can begin. I comped RPGs as well, and combat in Xenohunters utilizes an Aim value that is like an AC of an opponent in that the die roll will need to meet or exceed the Aim value for the attacker or else no damage is dealt. Each Xeno and human has their own stats for Aim, Health, Carry, and Speed, which are all self-explanatory. Humans can use an action to Rummage at certain map locations in order to gain cards that are beneficial in combat, movement, additional actions, and even the coveted Bomb and Detonator cards. In this fashion I see influences from RPGs in Xenohunters.

So what do I think about the game? Well, I have never been great at hidden movement games, and while this one is not solely reliant on that one mechanic I am still bad at it. This does not at all diminish my enjoyment of the game, and I do quite like it. Xenohunters uses mechanics from other great games and employs them pretty well. Yes, the rules are always being improved, even from this point (I am using Rules v.0.9.6), but once this is complete I feel it will be an excellent game to have in one’s collection. I personally have zero games utilizing hidden movement mechanics, so this will certainly fill a niche in my collection that I have neglected.

I love the theme and premise of the game, and it seems ripe for expansions. I can see many new human characters that can be added, more maps and scenarios, and even more big bads being thrown in to increase the difficulty. I have no idea if these are planned at all, but Xenohunters is laying the groundwork for a bevvy of expansions that can be added. The artwork is great (though not final on all pieces), and I know Half-Monster Games is going to give it special treatment to make it really pop.

I am very much looking forward to monitoring the Kickstarter campaign for this one as I think it is an excellent concept and brings horror to the table without being overly graphic and gory. I will not be playing this with my son any time soon (he is four), but when he is old enough I will definitely be introducing him to Xenohunters. While I am not great at this game, I very much look forward to playing lots more and practicing my strategies so I can one day challenge Jack (the designer) at a convention… whenever those happen again.
  
Beautiful Creatures (Caster Chronicles, #1)
Beautiful Creatures (Caster Chronicles, #1)
Kami Garcia | 2009 | Fiction & Poetry, Paranormal, Romance
6
7.4 (34 Ratings)
Book Rating
Great story (1 more)
Witches and supernatural beings!
A lot of inconsistencies (1 more)
Bad writing
Given the great success of the 'Harry Potter' series, witchcraft has become a prevalent theme in most books written in the last decade. 'Beautiful Creatures' may not have a wizard school, but they do have the old town of Gatlin, South Carolina.

'Beautiful Creatures,' is a witchy novel series by Kami Garcia and Margaret Stohl, that brings the family of witches (among other supernatural creatures) to life: focusing on the niece, Lena, who just came to town to live with her shut-in uncle, Macon. Readers soon find out that Lena belongs to one of the oldest families in the Southern town of Gatlin.

Yet, the main character of this book isn't Lena, but a young man named Ethan Wate; a long time resident of Gatlin who attends the local high school. When we meet Ethan, we find out that he has been having dreams of a girl and a song for some time before Lena showed up, but when he overhears Lena playing the exact same song from his dream, he's sure it's her he's dreaming of.

Suddenly, the two, are able to communicate telepathically. This part is written in a way that is not believable for the reader because Ethan has been feeling that he is going crazy up until this point: hearing the song being played by Lena caused him to flee the school, as with some other things (not to give away too much), but when he can suddenly speak to Lena telepathically, it's as if this is completely normal to him. A more believable part would have had Ethan freaking out as he did before, maybe even more so.

The story takes a dramatic turn when Ethan finds an old locket out in a garden beside Macon's house. He and Lena are quickly transported to visions of a past event that happened nearby involving that very locket. For most of the book, the two are trying to find out more about this locket and who it belonged to. Each time Ethan and Lena touch the locket together, they are transported to another event in the same vision. They soon find out that the locket belonged to the loved one of a distant relative belonging to Lena's family from 1865. And as the reader continues, this locket and it's visions hold a very important key to the story.

Throughout the story, it's hinted at that Ethan may not just be a human, but may have some supernatural powers of his own, but unfortunately, this never comes to fruition. Being that this is the first of four books, and I have only read this one, the other books may bring light to this subject. Lena, on the other hand, is about to turn sixteen, and turning sixteen in her family means you will be 'claimed.' Lena explains: " 'In my family, when you turn sixteen, you're Claimed. Your fate is chosen for you, and you become Light, like Aunt Del and Reece, or you become Dark, like Ridley. Dark or Light, Black or White. There's no grey in my family. We can't choose, and we can't undo it once we're Claimed. ' " In summary, Lena's family either become good witches (or whatever supernatural being they are) or bad witches (and such). Lena, by family, is considered a Natural at this point, where she can control the weather, write on walls without her hands or a pen,and break glass at will, so they believe she is most likely to be a Light witch, and they try to reinforce this thought into her throughout the entire book.

'Beautiful Creatures' is a great story, but it has quite a few flaws. The flow of the story is good, but when you come across so many inconsistencies, it can break the connection between story and reader, such as Lena suddenly revealing that her family had a word for what they called the telepathic communication between her and Ethan:

" 'Who knew Kelting would save my life.'

I had missed something, as usual. 'What's Kelting?'

'That's what it's called, the way we're able to communicate with each other no matter where we are. Some Casters can Kelt, some can't. Ridley and I used to be able to talk to each other at school that way, but---' ." Up until this scene, the reader is left to believe that this has never happened to Lena before, so to just bring this out so suddenly leaves us to think that this was a quick add-on to give Lena and her sister, Ridley, more of a connection,. Another time is when the popular girls at the local high school have it out for Lena, Lena lets on that she can't face them, but the very next page she's telling Ethan that she has to:

" I tried to pull her up, but she pulled me back down. She shrunk back next to the tire. 'I just need a minute.'

'Are you okay?'

'Look at them. They think I'm a monster. They formed a club.'

'They can't stand outsiders, and you're the new girl. A window broke. They need someone to blame. This is just a ---'

'Witch hunt.'

I wasn't going to say that.

But you were thinking it.

I squeezed her hand and my hair stood on end.

You don't have to do this.

Yes I do. I let people like them run me out of my last school. I'm not going to let it happen again. "

The story continues with Lena fearing that she is going to go Dark, so her and Ethan come across a locket vision of a witchcraft book that may be of help called 'the Book of Moons.' This is, personally, one of my favorite parts of 'Beautiful Creatures' because, in order for them to get the book, they have to go to a specific grave and dig it up! In this very chapter, we get to see a ghost - and this is the only chapter we see a ghost - and it is done wonderfully:

" She was only partially materialized, a mix of cloudy haze and light, fading in and out as the air moved through her ghostly form, but there was no mistaking it. It was Genevieve, the woman in the painting. She had the same golden eyes and long, wavy red hair. Her hair blew gently in the wind, as if she was just a woman sitting on a bench at the bus stop, instead of an apparition sitting on a headstone in a graveyard. She was beautiful, even in her present state, and terrifying at the same time. "

The majority of the story involves Lena's family and Ethan trying everything they can to keep her from being claimed Dark. This seems to be a nod to reality, where all of us have a choice to be a good person or a bad person, but in 'Beautiful Creatures,' the authors play off of the fear that many people have: that they are just like their family, and have no control over who they are or will be. Overall, I believe readers of the 'Harry Potter' series would like this book, but would I read this again, although I gave it a very low rating? Yes, the story is that intriguing, but the writing could use quite a bit of work.
  
The Queen&#039;s Consorts
The Queen's Consorts
Kele Moon | 2019
7
7.0 (1 Ratings)
Book Rating
“We should feel nothing toward her, yet I’m drawn to her– as powerfully as I’m drawn to you.”

If you’ve been reading Lover’s Quarrel reviews, then you know how much I love plot and character with my sex scenes. I mean, look at how much I hate The Doctor’s Slave compared to Mine for Tonight when they (very) roughly have the same concept. The scarcity of plot in erotica can be particularly vexing when I’m in the mood for a MMF threesome. (Doesn’t happen often, but even then I want some plot and good characters.)

The Queen’s Consorts definitely delivered. “In the days before the darkness the sun shone so brightly flowers grew right out of the ground,” Sari said softly. “Just like magic.”

Like everyone else on the planet of Auroria, Sari has never seen sunlight, and she never will unless the Queen returns to her Consorts and takes her proper place on the throne. But she doubts that will ever happen. After all, the young Queen has been missing since infancy, separated from her Consorts who were kept away from the world in the Sacred City, the palace in the Capital.

It took me a little bit to get used to Auroria. It’s common in this world for a woman to have two husbands, who will love and please her. With women so rare, they are valuable and meant to be cherished. Or they are meant to be extremely profitable sex slaves.

Sari resisted the urge to take Aria to a shelter, knowing there was usually a far worse fate than a life on the streets for young, unclaimed females. Being much more rare than males, if a girl was unfortunate enough to be orphaned and alone, they were usually seized for the underground sex market that was saturated with males.


Pretty crazy for a Queendom, where women are revered, huh? But it’s actually not a flaw. It just goes to show how out of whack everything is without the Queen there.

Unfortunately, the scarcity of women get Aria and Sari hunted down by a pack of teenaged boys, looking to make some quick money. Sari is able to fight them off enough for them to run, but she takes a bad beating. She only lives when a Sacred City guard recognizes her as a Rayian Sister. The guard takes her into the Sacred City, where she’s left to the care of the Consorts, Taryen and Calder, in their private chambers. After years of being abused by the Rayian Sisters, Taryen and Calder are used to only relying on and trusting each other. But it isn’t long before they realize Sari isn’t like the other Sisters.

Both Taryen and Calder are extremely sexy in their own way. Right away I had Taryen pegged as the kinder one who would freely love Sari first and Calder would take longer to learn to love and trust Sari.

“I want to care for her,” the other man said before his friend Calder could answer. “It’s not fair for her to suffer for misdeeds of others, Cal. I know you know that.”

“She’s Rayian, Taryen. Her needs will be the same as the rest of them.”

Calder is definitely the more wary of the two. He’s incredibly protective of Taryen, and he doesn’t trust Rayians for good reason. I knew he’d come around eventually, but for the time being I enjoyed Taryen’s amazingness. He was quick to take care of Sari, even at his own risk.

“She will be angry and inclined to punish if others of our sex have abused her.”

“That’s all right,” Taryen whispered a breath away from Sari. “I will bear their punishment for them if that’s what she needs to heal.”

Can I also just say that I love it when authors know that “alright” isn’t a word and they use the correct form? Good editing gets to me just as much as good characters.

If you’re thinking Taryen’s character is over the top and unrealistic, then you would be right. But that’s explained! He was born with a defect that makes him pure of heart. He’s unable to hold onto negative feelings and he’s incredibly selfless because of it. And damn, he’s pretty wonderful. Just perfectly wonderful.

Calder’s not pure of heart and like most people who have been sexually abused for years, he’s angry and resentful. The only person he trusts is Taryen. I was hoping for a long love story between him and Sari, honestly. He needs to work through trust issues, and even if he is attracted to her, he can’t bring himself to fall in love with a Rayian after what he’s been through. Right?

No.

Calder is wary of Sari… for like an hour. I know that the laws of nature have demanded that he love her and everything, but it was still too insta-love. Taryen is pure of heart and doesn’t have the emotional baggage Calder and Sari has. Of course Taryen is going to fall in love quicker. Calder, however, should have held out a little longer. I wanted one of them to take his time falling in love with her.

But I love Calder and Taryen together. They are beautiful without a doubt, and their love for each other actually made it really difficult for me to imagine them loving Sari just as much.

“Never treat me like one of them,” Calder growled as if the words themselves were hurting him. “I’m your lifemate. You’re allowed to take pleasure from me.”

Taryen’s groan was breathy in a way that betrayed his desire. “I’m sorry. It just slipped out.”

Don’t apologize.” Calder’s tone softened as his touch became gentle, his fingers tracing the line of Taryen’s jaw. “Just tell me what you want. Tell me what you think about when you’re with them. What thought makes it bearable?”

“I think of you.”

I was swooning in the college library when I read this. SWOONING!

I mean seriously, Calder and Taryen have way too much heat and love for me to handle. They alone can put the entire erotica industry to shame, let alone adding Sari into the mix. I mean, it’s like having both Sayid and Sawyer from Lost in all their sexiness.

My biggest problem with the story was the question of who the Queen was. After all, the Queen is the only woman the Consorts are supposed to be attracted to, she’s the same age as them, and because she was missing, she would be a Rayian without a clear past. And yet it’s not until over a third of the way through the book that Taryen and Calder figure out who she is. Seriously? It’s not like there are many Rayians running around who are their own age and have a clear past. It also irritates me that everyone believed Laysa when she claimed to be the Queen. Of course she would claim credit when the sun came back because she’s an opportunistic bitch. But if she was really the Queen, then wouldn’t she have brought the sun back when she started using the Consorts? Years ago?



The only other thing that bothered me was the sound effect when they were performing, um… fellatio. Whenever the action is completed, it’s completed with a soft popping sound. What the hell is that? That’s not sexy. No. Stop it. Sound effects are never appreciated in sex scenes.

But all in all, this book rocks. I loved the world of Auroria and the political war. The love story was fantastic, all things considered. And if you’re looking for a substantial erotica book with good writing and a well-developed plot, then you really need to check out The Queen’s Consorts.
  
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Bob Mann (459 KP) rated Tenet (2020) in Movies

Aug 28, 2020  
Tenet (2020)
Tenet (2020)
2020 | Action
Spectacular action set pieces done "in camera" (1 more)
Branagh and Debecki, both superb
Sound mix makes dialogue unintelligible (1 more)
In the words of Huey Lewis, "You're too darn loud"
Only Nolan and Schrödinger’s cat knows what’s going on.
Tenet is the long awaited new movie from Christopher Nolan. The movie that's set to reboot the multiplexes post-Covid. It's a manic, extremely loud, extremely baffling sci-fi cum spy rollercoaster that will please a lot of Nolan fan-boys but which left me with very mixed views.

How to write a spoiler-free plot summary? John David Washington (Denzel's lad) plays "The Protagonist" - a crack-CIA field operative who is an unstoppable one-man army in the style of Hobbs or Shaw. Recruited into an even more shadowy organisation, he's on the trail of an international arms dealer, Andrei Sator (Kenneth Branagh in full villain mode). Sator is bullying his estranged wife Kat (Elizabeth Debicki) over custody of their son (and the film unusually has a BBFC warning about "Domestic Abuse"). Our hero jets the world to try to prevent a very particular kind of Armageddon while also keeping the vulnerable and attractive Kat alive.

This is cinema at its biggest and boldest. Nolan has taken a cinema 'splurge' gun, filled it with money, set it on rapid fire, removed the safety and let rip at the screen. Given that Nolan is famous for doing all of his 'effects' for real and 'in camera', some of what you see performed is almost unbelievable. You thought crashing a train through rush-hour traffic in "Inception" was crazy? You ain't seen nothing yet with the airport scene! And for lovers of Chinooks (I must admit I am one and rush out of the house to see one if I hear it coming!) there is positively Chinook-p*rn on offer in the film's ridiculously huge finale.

The 'inversion' aspects of the story also lends itself to some fight scenes - one in particular in an airport 'freeport' - which are both bizarre to watch and, I imagine, technically extremely challenging to pull off. In this regard John David Washington is an acrobatic and talented stunt performer in his own right, and must have trained for months for this role.

Nolan's crew also certainly racked up their air miles pre-lockdown, since the locations range far and wide across the world. The locations encompassed Denmark, Estonia, India, Italy, Norway, the United Kingdom, and United States. Hoyte Van Hoytema's cinematography is lush in introducing these, especially the beautiful Italian coast scenes. Although I did miss the David Arnold strings that would typically introduce these in a Bond movie: it felt like that was missing.

The 'timey-wimey' aspects of the plot are also intriguing and very cleverly done. There are numerous points at which you think "Oh, that's a sloppy continuity error" or "Shame the production design team missed that cracked wing mirror". Then later in the movie, you get at least a dozen "Aha!" moments. Some of them (no spoilers) are jaw-droppingly spectacular.

Perhaps the best twist is hidden in the final line of the movie. I only processed it on the way home.

And so to the first of my significant gripes with Tenet. The sound mix in the movie is all over the place. I'd go stronger than that... it's truly awful (expletive deleted)! Nolan often implements Shakespeare's trick of having characters in the play provide exposition of the plot to aid comprehension. But unfortunately, all of this exposition dialogue was largely incomprehensible. This was due to:

- the ear-splitting volume of the sound: 2020 movie audiences are going to be suffering from 'Tenetis'! (that joke © David Moody, 2020);
- the dialogue is poorly mixed with the thumping music by Ludwig Göransson (Wot? No Hans Zimmer?);
- a large proportion of the dialogue was through masks of varying description (#covid-appropriate). Aaron Taylor-Johnson was particularly unintelligible to my ears.

Overall, watching this with subtitles at a special showing might be advisable!

OK, so I only have a PhD in Physics... but at times I was completely lost as to the intricacies of the plot. It made "Inception" look like "The Tiger Who Came to Tea". There was an obvious 'McGuffin' in "Inception" - - ("These 'dream levels'... how exactly are they architected??".... "Don't worry... they'll never notice". And we didn't!) In "Tenet" there are McGuffins nested in McGuffins. So much of this is casually waved away as "future stuff... you're not qualified" that it feels vaguely condescending to the audience. At one point Kat says "I don't understand what's going on" - darn right luv.

There are also gaps in the storyline that jar. The word "Tenet"? What does it mean. Is it just a password? I'm none the wiser.

The manic pace of Tenet and the constant din means that the movie gallops along like a series of disconnected (albeit brilliant) action set pieces. For me, it has none of the emotional heart of the Cobb's marriage problems from "Inception" or the father/daughter separation of "Interstellar". In fact, you barely care for anyone in the movie, perhaps with the exception of Kat.

It's a talented cast. As mentioned above, John David Washington is muscular and athletic in the role. It's a big load for the actor to carry in such a tent-pole movie, given his only significant starring role before was in the excellent BlacKkKlansman. But he carries it off well. A worthy successor to Gerard Butler and Jason Statham for action roles in the next 10 years.

This is also a great performance by Robert Pattinson, in his most high-profile film in a long time, playing the vaguely alcoholic and Carré-esque support guy. Pattinson's Potter co-star Clemence Poésy also pops up - rather more un-glam that usual - as the scientist plot-expositor early in the movie.

Nolan's regular Michael Caine also pops up. although the 87-year old legend is starting to show his age: His speech was obviously affected at the time of filming (though nice try Mr Nolan in trying to disguise that with a mouth full of food!). But in my book, any amount of Caine in a movie is a plus. He also gets to deliver the best killer line in the film about snobbery!

However, it's Kenneth Branagh and Elizabeth Debicki that really stand out. They were both fabulous, especially when they were bouncing off each other in their marital battle royale.

So, given this was my most anticipated movie of the year, it's a bit of a curate's egg for me. A mixture of being awe-struck at times and slightly disappointed at others. It's a movie which needs a second watch, so I'm heading back today to give my ear drums another bashing! And this is one where I reserve the right to revisit my rating after that second watch... it's not likely to go down... but it might go up.

(For the full graphical review, check out One Mann's Movies here - https://bob-the-movie-man.com/2020/08/28/tenet-only-nolan-and-schrodingers-cat-knows-whats-going-on/ .)
  
Tranquility
Tranquility
2020 | Card Game, Numbers Game
Are you a boat person? As in, do you enjoy lounging on a boat, floating to nowhere in particular, just enjoying the day? Or are you a thrill-seeking water-skiier or tuber that enjoys shredding the waves and nearly drowning? Perhaps you are neither. I am definitely in the first category. I would rather just toot around a lake in a boat, maybe throw out a fishing pole, and just enjoy being out on the water with little care for what may be happening in the world around me. So when I heard that Lucky Duck Games was planning on publishing Tranquility I just had to jump at the opportunity to get it on my table. And I was definitely impressed.

Tranquility is a cooperative hand management, tile placement card game for one to five players. In it players will be attempting to create a sea of islands around which they sail their boat towards infinite paradise. They will accomplish this by laying numbered cards from their hand in numerical order before any of the players run out of chances to play a card. Oh, and there’s also no talking during the game. That’s kind of a big deal.

DISCLAIMER: We were provided a copy of this game for the purposes of this review. This is a retail copy of the game, so what you see in these photos is exactly what would be received in your box. I do not intend to cover every single rule included in the rulebook, but will describe the overall game flow and major rule set so that our readers may get a sense of how the game plays. For more in depth rules, you may purchase a copy online or from your FLGS. -T


To setup the standard game, place all the border cards around a 6×6 grid, as in the photo below. Shuffle the appropriate number of Start and Finish cards into the deck of Island cards and place that beside the grid. Draw a hand of five cards and the game may begin. Setup is similar to the multiplayer setup, with a few changes. Once the hand of cards has been drawn, the game may begin! It is the solo player’s goal to build the sea of island cards, and place the Start and Finish cards before they run out of cards to be legally played.
The game is played over many turns. Each turn players will be either playing a card from hand or discarding two cards. When a player plays a card from hand to the grid, they may place it anywhere they wish within the grid. The goal is to have each card placed numerically in order beginning from the lower left of the grid in a zig-zag pattern left to right, then ascending to the next highest level. In other words, the play area would be ordered numerically as English-speaking people read, but from the bottom up instead of the top down – like a reverse typewriter.

When a card is played, the player may choose to place it in its own area, or immediately next to another card already in play. If the new card is placed adjacent to an existing card, the player must discard cards equal to the difference between the values of the two adjacent cards. For example, if a 12 is placed next to a 14, then the player would need to discard two cards after placement. If a card is placed that is already in direct numerical order, no discards are needed. Again, a card at the right-hand edge of a row is adjacent to the card on the next row higher on the left-hand edge, and this is the most difficult aspect of the game to grasp for new players.

Should a player instead wish to discard two cards for their turn, they do so to their discard pile. After each action (playing a card or discarding two cards) the player will draw back up to their hand of five cards.


Eventually, the player will happen across the Start and Finish cards. In the solo game, when a Start card is placed (outside the grid, but in amongst the border cards in the lower left-hand corner), the player will need to draw eight cards from the draw deck, keep four, and discard the remaining eight. This eats up cards from the draw pile and draws the game closer to the end. When the grid is completed and all the numbered cards are in numerical order, the player may then play the Finish card to end the game. If all cards are properly placed the player wins! If not, they must try again. Probably immediately, because it is that kind of game.
Components. This game is a bunch of square cards in a cubic box. Now, while that doesn’t sound super exciting, the art on the cards certainly make up for the lack of component diversity. Each card is matte finished, which I prefer for cards with great art on them. And oh man, that art is something wonderful! I have always been a fan of Tristam Rossin’s art, and it is on full display here. The cards are, well, I guess I cannot find the correct word because they aren’t double-sided, but split on the horizontal, with a daytime scene on the “top” and a nighttime scene on the “bottom” (or vice-versa, however you feel). I have nothing but praise for the components here.

The gameplay is familiar in feel, but definitely a little different and a whole lot of fun. Fans of The Mind will find this familiar in that the game is structured around silent players building a grid/stack of numerically appropriate cards until the win condition is met. However, I have not been able to play The Mind solo, and Tranquility comes with solo rules in the box. So that’s a win in my book.

Now, Tranquility solo is no cakewalk. No, there are no other players to make crazy decisions to throw off any tactics planned, but you most certainly can misjudge where to place a card, and then be married to its position as you try to fill in all the appropriate cards around it. I learned that all too early when I decided my first game that I should try to divide the grid into equal sections and approximate where a 48 should go. Well, I’ll tell you now that a 48 has absolutely no business being a row above a 19 (check the photo above if you don’t believe me). Silly choices like this make for an afternoon of pondering optimal placements when unboxing your next play, and that brings a smile to my face. Any time I think about a game the next day or several days later and it entices me to play again with a different strategy, I feel is the mark of a great game.

I have yet to play this with a group (damn COVID), but I know the people I play with are going to love this one. And, honestly, I am going to love the peace and quiet as the game plays out, so I can think about my turn and then think about a different possibility once someone ruins my plans. But I tell you what, even as a solo game, this one is great. I am quite happy to keep this as a pure solo experience, but I do want to try it once with others. We do not typically give out ratings for Solo Chronicles reviews, but this one would be pretty high, I’m telling you now. Okay, I have to go get the boat ready and pack my cooler. Enjoy Tranquility!
  
Zoom in Barcelona
Zoom in Barcelona
2019 | Travel
Barcelona! One of my favorite cities I have ever visited. I have sweet memories and also sour memories of this wonderful place. I have walked the streets, tipped the street performers, performed at the Universitat de Barcelona, but I also have mistakenly happened upon a brothel at night and had my debit card stolen by the hotel maintenance staff while visiting. So there’s a wide range of experiences I’ve had in Spain. That said, as this game is set in Barcelona, I knew I just had to get it to the table ASAP, and I found a gem for my collection.

In Zoom in Barcelona, players are photographers competing in a local photography contest. Judges will dictate the preferred sites, and the contest will have an over-arching theme, while players also race to take shots at the most opportune moment with the sunlight over the city. There are multiple ways to score points, and collecting a diverse portfolio of shots from the day will win a prize for the best photographer!

DISCLAIMER: We were provided a copy of this game for the purposes of this review. This is a retail copy of the game, so what you see in these photos is exactly what would be received in your box. I do not intend to cover every single rule included in the rulebook, but will describe the overall game flow and major rule set so that our readers may get a sense of how the game plays. For more in depth rules, you may purchase a copy online or from your FLGS. -T

To setup, follow the instructions in the rulebook; there are just too many to list here. However, the starting state of the board should look something similar to the photo below. The major components are the board, the Landmark photo cards, the Transport cards, Natural Light track, Themes tokens, and of course: the Dragon token.


NOTE: This review includes all rules found in the rulebook. For lighter games, players may omit certain rule options.
Turns are very simple in Zoom in Barcelona and consist of two phases – Move and Perform One Action. Players may move up to two connected spaces by walking, or more spaces by playing and discarding one of their Transport cards (shown above in hand). Players will be moving around the board like crazy attempting to arrive at certain locations so that they may take one action from the following: take one photo, visit an Information Point, or take the Metro.

Should the active player choose to take one photo, they must be currently at a location that matches one of the Landmark cards currently residing in the Judges’ Picks area (northeast corner of the board). To take a photo here, the player simply collects the card from the board and replaces it with another from the deck. Collecting Judges’ Picks cards is nice, but if players neglect to advance themselves along the Natural Light Track (southeast corner of the board), these cards will not score. Players will need to take photos at the leftmost location to be able to score two Landmark cards, with each subsequent Natural Light card allowing an additional two cards to be scored, up to a maximum of eight total cards scored. Players may also take photos of portions of the Barcelona Skyline by arriving at the corresponding Skyline Viewpoint spots on the board and collecting the token present (in a two player game, there is only one token at each spot, so the race is on!). These Skyline tokens can be combined at the end of the game for bonus points if combined in a specific order per the individual City Skyline Tokens dealt at the beginning of the game. Finally, players may take a photo of the Dragon in its current Lair by arriving on the Dragon’s location and choosing this action. By taking its photo, the Dragon allows players to freely take one of the Judges’ Picks Landmark cards from those on display, collect any Skyline building token from the board, advance the player’s token on the Natural Light Tracker, OR refresh all the Landmark cards on the Judges’ Pick area. In all of my plays, I abuse the Dragon to advance my token on the Natural Light Track primarily.

The player may instead visit an Information Point on the board in order to draw more or completely refresh their hand of Transport cards. Perhaps the player has a value 3 card, discards it, and draws three more cards offering higher value transports.

Finally, a player may instead choose to Take the Metro by visiting a red M spot and virtually teleporting to any other red M Metro spot on the board. This makes for quick travel across the city.


Play continues in this fashion until one player collects their eighth Landmark photo. The game then immediately ends and scores are counted per the rulebook. The photographer with the highest score wins the competition!

Components. This game has a lot of different types of components; the box is stuffed! All of the cards are nice, the cardboard components are great, and the wooden tokens are just okay. I would prefer more custom wooden components, as the game ships with just entry level pawn tokens and matching colored cubes. Something a bit more jazzed up would be appreciated here. Otherwise, the art is wonderful, the board is beautiful, and everything just looks really interesting when all setup. Per usual, Blue Orange has given us a beautiful game. (*Just bling out the wooden bits in your copy – I plan to with mine)

So wow, there are so many choices to be made in this game. Firstly, it’s a mad dash to collect that eighth Landmark card, but you just can’t ignore the Natural Light Track (if you play with it), because having eight cards but only able to score two or four is just like shooting yourself in the foot for no good reason. Zooming around town (I know, I had to) is so satisfying, like a board game treasure hunt, and snapping all these photos of memorable places just hits the spot for me. Yes, I am probably biased because of the setting and my fondness for it, but even if this were set in another location where I had no experience, I would still very much enjoy it.

I’ll tell you one thing. I feel bad every time I play this because I feel like a lazy one-trick pony chasing around the Dragon to exploit its power, and MAYBE grabbing a shot along the way. The Dragon is very powerful and allows players to do really helpful things throughout.

Yes, there are some minor rules I left out, but I think you all get the idea behind this game. I am absolutely in love with this one, and I am so glad it was suggested to me to try, and even more lucky that Blue Orange sent me a copy to review! Officially, Purple Phoenix Games gives this one a 5 / 6 for its beauty, fun mechanics, and incredible array of choices to be made along the way. I can see this one inching its way toward my Top 10 Games of All Time, but I suppose time will tell. If you are a fan of ours, and your tastes typically line up with mine, then please do yourself a solid and grab a copy of this one right away. It may be daunting to learn at first, but once it all clicks, I can guarantee you will see the cohesiveness and beauty of Zoom in Barcelona.

Oh, and if anyone finds my debit card, please return it. I “lost” it there in the Summer of 2000. Thanks.
  
Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice (2016)
Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice (2016)
2016 | Action, Sci-Fi
Batfleck (1 more)
It's every comic fan's childhood dream
Sloppy editing (2 more)
Bad performances
Poor script
A Whole Mess Of Awesome
Contains spoilers, click to show
Okay, if you are reading this I assume you have at least read a few other reviews of the movie, as it is all that anyone is talking about online at the minute, so what is left to say I hear you ask? Well first off I’ll give you some context, for the last three years I have been reading and collecting comics to an obsessive level and it is due to this movie. I have always been a superhero fan (especially Batman,) and I had read some comics in the past, but when this movie was announced at San Diego Comic-Con in 2013, (3 years ago!!) I was so hyped and I decided that I had to read the comic that this film was taking inspiration from. So I went to my local A1 Comics and bought The Dark Knight Returns, which underwhelmed me but that’s another story. Since then I have become a huge comic book fan and that is thanks to this movie. Seriously what was not to like here, it would have been so difficult to get this wrong, it’s Batman fighting Superman, how amazing is it that this actually happened? And yet they still managed to fuck it up…

Do you read? You will. And then realise how superior the comic that this is based on is to the actual movie itself, (and I’m not even a massive fan of the comic.)

I saw 10 Cloverfield Lane last week and while that movie wasn’t perfect, what made that a great movie is exactly what makes BvS a subpar movie. 10CL had a small team of people working on a restrictive budget, so every aspect of the movie was scrutinised and perfected to make up the end product and that attention to detail really paid off. BvS had a huge budget and a massive team of people working on it and I think that is what gives the movie it’s unfocused and sloppy feel. The script is a mess, there are clearly scenes cut, the editing is jarring, not all of the performances were up to scratch and while the imagery and visuals are incredible, the best way to describe this movie is all style and no substance. I like Zack Snyder, I love his Watchmen movie, I like 300 and I enjoyed Man of Steel, but I can’t help but feel that this is his fault. His decision to make years of comic book stories into one two and a half hour movie honestly baffles me. The events of this movie should have taken place over at least three movies, which I will discuss more in the spoiler section of this review, so stick around for that if you have seen the movie already. This movie really is all over the place and the pace and tone are random at best and if you have seen the trailers then you have essentially seen the movie. Let’s talk about the best part of the movie, which is quite easily Ben Affleck’s Batman and Jeremy Irons’ Alfred. Seeing the two characters and their chemistry are worth the ticket price of the film alone. This is probably the most faithful to the source material Batman that we have had on the big screen to date, except for one pretty major change. Batman in DoJ is pretty much Punisher in a cowl. During the Batmobile chase (which was really fucking awesome by the way,) he questionably kills some goons. I mean, some of them could have survived like, if they had Wolverine’s healing powers I guess? But then there is that badass warehouse scene that we see in the trailers and during that he near enough shoots some guys himself. If you can get over this and see this as an alternate version of Batman you should be able to appreciate Affleck’s performance though, which by the way is amazing, he knocks it out of the park. I would have liked some kind of reference to it, even a scene where he discusses breaking his code with Alfred, just a few lines would have made me get on board with this version of the character a lot quicker. Critics have been calling Henry Cavil’s Superman performance wooden, but I think that is too harsh, he is perfectly serviceable but he isn’t going to be praised for his memorable performance either. Gal Gadot as Wonder Woman is badass, my only complaint is that she isn’t in the movie enough as Wonder Woman. Jesse Eisenberg is the stand out worst performance in the movie. It isn’t necessarily a bad performance, it just does not fit that character at all. He was truly miscast here, if they had cast him as Riddler in the Batman solo movie and he put in this performance I would be praising him like mad. Lex Luthor shouldn’t be crazy on a surface level, he should be a respectable businessman and an intellectual force to be reckoned with and he will go out of his way to ensure that this is what everyone sees him as, it is only ever the people closest to him that that he allows to see him crack. He certainly shouldn’t be making strange noises and gestures like someone with OCD or a mental issue. Also Doomsday is silly and is just shoehorned in at the end for the sake of giving the trinity and enemy to battle against.

Do you pee? You will. After sitting though near three hours of this garbage.

So to give my overall opinion before I get into spoilers, I will say that I enjoyed this movie better than Man of Steel, but only slightly and I dislike it for a lot of the same reasons. Just like Man of Steel there are parts of this movie that I adored and parts that I hated. Mixed emotions is an understatement. In my mind any movie above a 7 is a great movie and unfortunately I can’t call this a great movie. I fully believe that everyone should see this movie and form their own opinion, especially since reactions have been so mixed, but I felt that it simply didn’t live up to the hype that it set for itself and I feel like Zack Snyder may be doing more harm than good setting up the DCU. 6.5/10.

Do you see? You will. Or at least you better have seen it by now because I am about to spoil the shit out of the whole movie.

Like I said earlier, the events of the movie really should have been split across several movies and explored more rather than rushed through at a breakneck speed. We should have had a whole movie on Batman V Superman, the conflict ideals between them and the discussion of whether or not this world needs a Superman. Then we should have had a movie just based on the dawn of the justice league, with Batman and Superman eventually understanding each other and becoming friends and with way more scenes with Wonder Woman and a proper introduction to the other characters rather than the literal plot device USB stick we got in BvS. Then we should have had a few Justice League movies and once Superman was an established character within the universe, they should have killed him off then and did the Death and Return of Superman story, not in this one where Batman and Wonder Woman hardly know him and the public still don’t know whether he is good or bad. Also if Batman kills now, what reason is there for the Joker to still be alive? The whole point of their relationship is that Batman won’t kill Joker because of his code and Joker won’t kill Batman because he loves fighting him, but if Batman has no code and he has been Batman for years then he really should have killed Joker a long time ago. I did enjoy Batfleck and I am very much looking forward to his solo Batman movie, but BvS is rushed and sloppy. So I’ve said my piece, now let the fanboy hate commence.
  
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5 Minute Movie Guy (379 KP) rated Mad Max: Fury Road (2015) in Movies

Jun 30, 2019 (Updated Sep 16, 2019)  
Mad Max: Fury Road (2015)
Mad Max: Fury Road (2015)
2015 | Action, Adventure, Sci-Fi
Mad Max: Fury Road is an intense, action-packed, visually stunning, and wildly entertaining film. It's only when the action slows down that the film starts to show signs of decay.
30 years and a fresh face later, the Mad Max series makes an extravagant and exhilarating return to theaters with Mad Max: Fury Road. Mel Gibson’s iconic wasteland warrior hero Max Rockatansky has been recast with the talented Tom Hardy, who gives us a more visceral and damaged portrayal of the character. Having endured years in the Hellish wasteland, Max now acts on his sole instinct of surviving. He’s ravaged by the horrors of his past and has lost all semblance of hope in this bleak, post-apocalyptic future where water is scarce and mayhem is bountiful. Director and series creator George Miller does a masterful job in creating a remarkable and inventive world of chaos and destruction, with action sequences that are practically unparalleled. Mad Max: Fury Road is a movie that keeps its fat, irradiated foot firmly pressed on the gas pedal throughout almost its entire duration, resulting in a movie that’s intense, action-packed, visually stunning, perfectly bizarre, wonderfully inventive, and wildly entertaining. It’s only when the action slows down that the film starts to show signs of decay.

In Fury Road, we first encounter Max alone in the wasteland in what is about to be a very long and very bad day. He’s quickly spotted and pursued by a pack of deathly-pale skinhead warriors known as Warboys. Outnumbered and easily captured, Max is taken to The Citadel, which serves as the home of the film’s central conflict. The monstrously plagued Immortan Joe rules over The Citadel like a cult leader, promising eternal salvation to his army of Warboys who die fighting for him. The city is a place of great disparity, as Joe teases the peasants with water, while he enjoys the excesses of his precious resources. Even worse is that he’s enslaved healthy, young women, known as his Five Wives, for the sake of producing his children.

This predicament doesn’t sit well with the battle-hardened woman warrior Imperator Furiosa (Charlize Theron) who serves under Immortan Joe’s command. Tired of Joe’s tyrannous ways, Imperator Furiosa betrays her leader during a routine gas run by venturing her armored war-rig offroad with the Five Wives secretly in tow. When news spreads that Furiosa is trying to escape and has taken the Wives with her, Joe and his army of Warboys feverishly follow in pursuit. This begins an epic, elaborate, and expertly crafted chase sequence that is absolutely outrageous and unmistakably brilliant.

Meanwhile, the enslaved Max ends up being inopportunely thrust into the action at full throttle, chained to the front of a car like a hood ornament. While Max’s name may be in the title, make no mistake about it, this is Furiosa’s story. Max is primarily just along for the ride, and doing whatever he can to survive. That’s not to say that Max is simply an unfortunate onlooker to the events of the film, but he is given little in the way of dialogue and backstory, and is chained up for a substantial portion of Fury Road. Though it should be said that the movie as a whole is rather thin on story and dialogue and it merely glosses over the plot to retain its focus on the action, which is where the film really sets itself apart.

The majority of the Fury Road serves as this long, impressive chase sequence that miraculously continues to escalate as the film goes on, despite appearing to throw the whole kitchen sink at you right at the beginning. It’s explosive, crazy, and jaw-droppingly awesome from the get-go, and yet believe me, it only gets bigger and better. Just wait until later when they start adding monster trucks, mini-guns, pole-vaulters, dirt bike-riding grannies, and a guitar flamethrower. It will leave you giddy with excitement. It’s an amazing, heavy-metal, end-of-the-world spectacle that you just got to see to believe. What makes it all even more incredible is that so much of the action is achieved by practical effects, with real stunts and car crashes and explosions.

Unfortunately, in the rare moments when Fury Road lets its foot off the gas and slows down the action, it sometimes sputters. Take for instance, the film’s climactic turning point when Furiosa’s dreams are spoiled. She dramatically falls to her knees in the sand, reeling in despair, and screams out into the void. This pivotal moment should be the most powerful moment of the film, but for me it fell completely flat. The problem here is that I never felt a strong attachment to the characters. While I respect Furiosa and Max for their strength in this struggle, I also feel like I don’t know much of anything about them, except that they’re adept at surviving and have battled through Hell to get to this point. So while this brief interlude drags a bit, Max thankfully turns things back around and leads us right back into the heart of the action, where Fury Road is at its best.

Charlize Theron gives a commanding performance as Furiosa, easily establishing herself among the ranks of the great female action stars. She makes for an excellent partner to Tom Hardy’s Max (though reportedly not so much on set). Hardy, on the other hand, puts in a solid performance, but I do take some issue with it. Truthfully, he just didn’t quite feel like Mad Max. His take on the character is too rugged. He’s missing the charm and likability that Mel Gibson’s Max had. His character may be cool, but he’s difficult to relate to, and feels remarkably reduced as he grunts throughout half of the movie without uttering a word. I can’t help but feel that perhaps Hardy took Max’s madness and survival instincts a little too far. The film also stars Nicholas Hoult as Nux, the Warboy that led Max into this whole mess, who expresses a much more appealing level of craziness. Whereas Nux is an energetic, lunatic cult follower, Max seems like he’s just a few bolts short of becoming a mentally-deranged hobo, which might not bode so well for future films. Lastly, there’s Immortan Joe, played by Hugh Keays-Byrne, who has an exceptional screen presence by being imposing, frightening, and so over-the-top that he’s kind of funny.

Visually and artistically, Mad Max: Fury Road is a triumphant success. It’s more gorgeous than you would ever think possible for a decrepit, wasteland warzone. Considerable skill and attention to detail are demonstrated to bring beauty out of this decaying environment. It features first-rate cinematography and unbelievable creativity. You’ll wonder how anyone ever thought of this stuff, but you’ll be grateful they did. The characters all look outstanding, unique, and memorable. I particularly loved Furiosa’s appearance with her prosthetic arm and grease-smeared warpaint. More impressive still is the menacing Immortan Joe with his mask and elaborate body armor. Fury Road similarly has beautiful special effects which greatly enhance the atmosphere as well as the film’s many remarkable stunts. In all, this is sure to be one of the best looking films of the year.

Mad Max: Fury Road may not be a perfect film, but it makes for an explosive and unforgettable return to the series. It’s truly a creative tour-de-force, with ingenious action, stellar design, and stunning visuals. It features brilliantly choreographed fights and chases, and some of the coolest movie stunts I’ve ever seen. The movie doesn’t always get the emotional punch it’s aiming for, and it has its share of awkward moments, but it sure makes a lasting impression with its intense, adrenaline-pumping theatrics. It might be a little too strange and twisted for some (though it’s relatively tame for being rated R), however, those who can handle the wasteland are sure to find a film that is deserving of respect and admiration. While I have my gripes with Hardy’s portrayal of Max, I know that I, for one, still can’t wait to see what the future holds for everybody’s favorite road warrior.

(The review was originally posted at 5mmg.com on 5.19.15.)