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Soon: An Overdue History of Procrastination, from Da Vinci and Darwin to You and Me
7.0
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An entertaining, fact-filled defense of the nearly universal tendency to procrastinate, drawing on...
history
Secrets of the Weird
7.5
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"Trixie loathed her penis." That shocking revelation begins the emotional and personally horrifying...
Death by Smoothie
10.0
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It’s the funny side of homicide in acclaimed TV comedy writer and novelist Laura Levine’s newest...
Mark @ Carstairs Considers (2486 KP) rated Death by Smoothie in Books
Jan 13, 2023 (Updated Jan 13, 2023)
This Smoothie Isn’t Healthy for Someone
Someone is trying to revive the cult classic sitcom I Married a Zombie as a stage musical, and freelance writer Jaine Austen has been hired to punch up the script. Since the producer is also the writer and the star, the script needs a lot of work, but the biggest problem is Misty, the actress hired to play the lead. She can’t act and she can’t remember her lines, but the producer is enchanted with her. That is until someone poisons her afternoon smoothie. Jaine jumps into action to figure out who the killer is. Can she do it?
Anyone familiar with this series will know exactly what to expect here, and they will be delighted by it. It’s more of the same in the best way possible. By my count, we have four sub-plots that weave in and out of the story, and they keep the reader from ever getting bored. The sub-plot involving her parents might be my favorite yet. These sub-plots also help provide plenty of wacky situations, and this book is filled with humor from beginning to end. The characters are a bit more types as a result, created for their humor potential, but they work. The mystery is strong and kept me guessing until the end, even when I thought I had it figured out early on. I was smiling or laughing with every page. It’s always a treat to pick up a book in this series. If you are looking for a light, fun mystery, this is the one for you.
Anyone familiar with this series will know exactly what to expect here, and they will be delighted by it. It’s more of the same in the best way possible. By my count, we have four sub-plots that weave in and out of the story, and they keep the reader from ever getting bored. The sub-plot involving her parents might be my favorite yet. These sub-plots also help provide plenty of wacky situations, and this book is filled with humor from beginning to end. The characters are a bit more types as a result, created for their humor potential, but they work. The mystery is strong and kept me guessing until the end, even when I thought I had it figured out early on. I was smiling or laughing with every page. It’s always a treat to pick up a book in this series. If you are looking for a light, fun mystery, this is the one for you.
Missing Piece (Neon Scars #2)
8.0
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When addiction recovery meets immortal obsession, some hungers can't be cured—they can only be...
Dark MM Paranormal Romance
Absolution
9.0
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Ten years after the publication of Annihilation, the surprise fourth volume in Jeff VanderMeer’s...
Weird Fiction Speculative fiction
Bob Mann (459 KP) rated Spencer (2021) in Movies
Nov 11, 2021
Diana hits rock bottom… as does the script.
Discordant strings sound as the royal party arrives at Sandringham for Christmas. “Is she here yet” intones the Queen. “No ma’am” her major domo replies. “Then she’s late”. Cut to a soulful choral version of “Perfect Day” as Diana Princess of Wales (née Spencer) arrives via a dramatic aerial shot. Hugs go to her sons William and Harry before she unhappily stalks through the corridors like a hunted animal.
This is the second movie in a row that I’ve intro’d via a positive emotional response to a great trailer. In the last case – for “Last Night in Soho” – the movie more than lived up to my high expectations from the trailer. But here – oh dear! It comes to something where the very best thing about the film is the trailer.
For, unfortunately for me, this came across as pretentious, vaguely insulting and with a dreadful script.
Plot Summary:
It’s Christmas 1991 at the Sandringham estate. Diana (Kristen Stewart) is the black sheep of the royal family, flouting tradition and always late for every formal event. She sees conspiracies at every turn, suspecting the household coordinator Major Gregory (Timothy Spall) of plotting against her. Her only allies that she can talk to are head chef Darren (Sean Harris) and her dresser Maggie (Sally Hawkins).
Mentally unstable, bulimic and self-harming, Diana must survive a tumultuous three days without destroying the Christmas spirit for her two sons and irreparably damaging her relationship with the wider royal family.
Certification:
US: R. UK: 12A.
Talent:
Starring: Kristen Stewart, Timothy Spall, Sally Hawkins, Jack Farthing, Sean Harris.
Directed by: Pablo Larraín.
Written by: Steven Knight.
“Spencer” Review: Positives:
Kristen Stewart does a simply fabulous job of impersonating Diana. She’s clearly studied a lot of video of the lady in getting to mimic the way she looks, walks and dances. Although I didn’t rate the film, the performance is a cut-above.
It’s an ironic touch that in all of her driving scenes, Diana never wears a seat-belt.
Negatives:
Oh man, Steven Knight’s dialogue here I found to be simply atrocious. Head-in-the-hands bad. I decided about half way through this monstrosity that “The Room” had had its day as a cult student classic, and that “Spencer” should take over in that role.
These things evolve organically over time, but I came up with the following basic rules for a student showing:
Every time Kristen Stewart does a ‘simp’ look to camera, down a shot;
When Darren utters the line “What are you going to do with wirecutters?” the audience yells as one “CUT WIRE!” **;
When Diana intones “Beauty is useless. Beauty is clothing”** the audience should strip to their underwear;
Every time a member of the hunt shouts “PULL!” you throw a stuffed pheasant in the air. Otherwise you keep the stuffed pheasant next to you, and engage in studious conversation with it as the film progresses;
Whenever Anne Boleyn appears, shout “OFF WITH HER HEAD”;
When a character says to Diana “I love you. And yes, in that way”**, the audience must shout “Aye aye” and every female audience member needs to passionately kiss another female audience member; and finally…
When Diana says “Leave Me. I want to masturbate”**, the audience throws dildos at the screen.
** I’d really like to pretend that I made these lines up. They might be paraphrased a bit, but honestly, that’s the gist!
Oh yes. It’s a sure-fire student classic of the future. You read it here first folks! I can see the filmmakers lauding me with praise for turning their movie into a post-release sleeper hit. “WHAT A CULT” they shout at me. “WHAT A CULT”!
The rest of the cast do a good enough job with what they have, but have the general vibe of being embarrassed to deliver the dialogue they’ve been given. Sean Harris – a fine actor – inexplicably spouts Shakespeare like Christopher Plummer in “Star Trek VI”! And one can only assume that Timothy Spall was given direction to act as if he had a whole lemon stuck inside his mouth for the whole movie.
I’ve been a fan of Jonny Greenwood’s music in other movies like “Phantom Thread“. I’ve seen Mark Kermode describe this soundtrack as “fantastic”. But, for me, the intrusive atonal strings and laid-back jazz vibe just didn’t work for me at all.
Summary Thoughts on “Spencer”
As you can probably tell, I hated this one. And the illustrious Mrs Movie Man 100% agrees with me in this assessment. The trailer promised a lot, but the movie delivered very little for me. It just all felt to me like an affront to the memory of Diana. Making a highly fictitious “fable based on a real life tragedy” just feels wrong. This seems particularly the case when the Queen, Prince Charles and (particularly) William and Harry are alive to watch it. What must they think if and when they get to view this?
I was a big fan of Larrain’s 2017 biopic on Jackie Kennedy – “Jackie” – which really covered the very similar ground, of a lady in the focus of publicity struggling with mental illness. But at least that had the benefit of historical distance.
I seem to be swimming against the critical tide here, since the movie currently has an IMDB rating of 7.4/10. But frankly, for me, I thought the recent series of “The Crown” did this so much better.
This is the second movie in a row that I’ve intro’d via a positive emotional response to a great trailer. In the last case – for “Last Night in Soho” – the movie more than lived up to my high expectations from the trailer. But here – oh dear! It comes to something where the very best thing about the film is the trailer.
For, unfortunately for me, this came across as pretentious, vaguely insulting and with a dreadful script.
Plot Summary:
It’s Christmas 1991 at the Sandringham estate. Diana (Kristen Stewart) is the black sheep of the royal family, flouting tradition and always late for every formal event. She sees conspiracies at every turn, suspecting the household coordinator Major Gregory (Timothy Spall) of plotting against her. Her only allies that she can talk to are head chef Darren (Sean Harris) and her dresser Maggie (Sally Hawkins).
Mentally unstable, bulimic and self-harming, Diana must survive a tumultuous three days without destroying the Christmas spirit for her two sons and irreparably damaging her relationship with the wider royal family.
Certification:
US: R. UK: 12A.
Talent:
Starring: Kristen Stewart, Timothy Spall, Sally Hawkins, Jack Farthing, Sean Harris.
Directed by: Pablo Larraín.
Written by: Steven Knight.
“Spencer” Review: Positives:
Kristen Stewart does a simply fabulous job of impersonating Diana. She’s clearly studied a lot of video of the lady in getting to mimic the way she looks, walks and dances. Although I didn’t rate the film, the performance is a cut-above.
It’s an ironic touch that in all of her driving scenes, Diana never wears a seat-belt.
Negatives:
Oh man, Steven Knight’s dialogue here I found to be simply atrocious. Head-in-the-hands bad. I decided about half way through this monstrosity that “The Room” had had its day as a cult student classic, and that “Spencer” should take over in that role.
These things evolve organically over time, but I came up with the following basic rules for a student showing:
Every time Kristen Stewart does a ‘simp’ look to camera, down a shot;
When Darren utters the line “What are you going to do with wirecutters?” the audience yells as one “CUT WIRE!” **;
When Diana intones “Beauty is useless. Beauty is clothing”** the audience should strip to their underwear;
Every time a member of the hunt shouts “PULL!” you throw a stuffed pheasant in the air. Otherwise you keep the stuffed pheasant next to you, and engage in studious conversation with it as the film progresses;
Whenever Anne Boleyn appears, shout “OFF WITH HER HEAD”;
When a character says to Diana “I love you. And yes, in that way”**, the audience must shout “Aye aye” and every female audience member needs to passionately kiss another female audience member; and finally…
When Diana says “Leave Me. I want to masturbate”**, the audience throws dildos at the screen.
** I’d really like to pretend that I made these lines up. They might be paraphrased a bit, but honestly, that’s the gist!
Oh yes. It’s a sure-fire student classic of the future. You read it here first folks! I can see the filmmakers lauding me with praise for turning their movie into a post-release sleeper hit. “WHAT A CULT” they shout at me. “WHAT A CULT”!
The rest of the cast do a good enough job with what they have, but have the general vibe of being embarrassed to deliver the dialogue they’ve been given. Sean Harris – a fine actor – inexplicably spouts Shakespeare like Christopher Plummer in “Star Trek VI”! And one can only assume that Timothy Spall was given direction to act as if he had a whole lemon stuck inside his mouth for the whole movie.
I’ve been a fan of Jonny Greenwood’s music in other movies like “Phantom Thread“. I’ve seen Mark Kermode describe this soundtrack as “fantastic”. But, for me, the intrusive atonal strings and laid-back jazz vibe just didn’t work for me at all.
Summary Thoughts on “Spencer”
As you can probably tell, I hated this one. And the illustrious Mrs Movie Man 100% agrees with me in this assessment. The trailer promised a lot, but the movie delivered very little for me. It just all felt to me like an affront to the memory of Diana. Making a highly fictitious “fable based on a real life tragedy” just feels wrong. This seems particularly the case when the Queen, Prince Charles and (particularly) William and Harry are alive to watch it. What must they think if and when they get to view this?
I was a big fan of Larrain’s 2017 biopic on Jackie Kennedy – “Jackie” – which really covered the very similar ground, of a lady in the focus of publicity struggling with mental illness. But at least that had the benefit of historical distance.
I seem to be swimming against the critical tide here, since the movie currently has an IMDB rating of 7.4/10. But frankly, for me, I thought the recent series of “The Crown” did this so much better.
Andy K (10823 KP) rated Suspiria (2018) in Movies
Feb 25, 2019
Not the Suspiria you were looking for.
"Reimagined" would be the only word to describe this new vision of the original cult horror Argento classic from director Luca Guadagnino. It reminded me of a lot of other 70s and 80s horror including the original Hellraiser, The Wicker Man, or some early David Cronenberg body horror films.
The same basic story of American dancer Susie Banion coming to join a famous European dance company only to discover its leaders are a coven of witches is still there, but with much more complexity. As with the original, the coven does not take kindly when girls try and leave the group and usually meet with some sort of gruesome outcome.
Things get intense slowly over the 2 1/2 hour runtime with the last 20 minutes being some of the most explicit freak show, sadistic, torturous bloodbath I have ever seen. Not sure how this would play with a mainstream audience. I think some would be bored with the beginning and then get up and leave during the extreme climax scene.
Since I watch a ton of movies, I seek out the strange and unusual at this point and this one did not disappoint. It is interesting to see another director's take on the story and going in a completely opposite direction. Argento was always known, especially in this film, for his use of wild colors and patterns and this new version stands as a stark contrast opting for more neutral tones and white and black.
If you have a strong stomach and crave an interesting challenge, I highly recommend. Then let me know so we can discuss.
The same basic story of American dancer Susie Banion coming to join a famous European dance company only to discover its leaders are a coven of witches is still there, but with much more complexity. As with the original, the coven does not take kindly when girls try and leave the group and usually meet with some sort of gruesome outcome.
Things get intense slowly over the 2 1/2 hour runtime with the last 20 minutes being some of the most explicit freak show, sadistic, torturous bloodbath I have ever seen. Not sure how this would play with a mainstream audience. I think some would be bored with the beginning and then get up and leave during the extreme climax scene.
Since I watch a ton of movies, I seek out the strange and unusual at this point and this one did not disappoint. It is interesting to see another director's take on the story and going in a completely opposite direction. Argento was always known, especially in this film, for his use of wild colors and patterns and this new version stands as a stark contrast opting for more neutral tones and white and black.
If you have a strong stomach and crave an interesting challenge, I highly recommend. Then let me know so we can discuss.
Andy K (10823 KP) rated Clerks (1994) in Movies
May 6, 2019
Dante and Randal - together forever
I had the pleasure of meeting Kevin Smith when he appeared at the Hollywood Video manager's meeting in Las Vegas in the summer of 1999. Clerks was revered at that time by all of us since we were living the life of Randal to a certain extent being video store managers. We could all relate to the examples of stupid customers and things we wanted to say to them, but couldn't since "the customer is always right".
Smith's appearance at our meeting must've shocked the Mormon founder, Mark Wattles, when Smith began using excessive profanity and talking about giving blow jobs in the bathroom for cash.
My own experiences as a video store manager were reflected in a lot of what Randal says especially when it came to movie recommendations. I'll never forget being asked "Which is better, Booty Call or Schindler's List" or arguing with customers during the "full screen" vs. "widescreen" debate explaining widescreen was better because you could see the entire picture instead of the side of the film being cut off.
Every time I rewatch Clerks it always reminds me of those times and how I reflect fondly on them now so many years later.
Smith was a funny guy and he certainly tells good stories if you have ever seen one of his stand-up specials where he talks about meeting Prince, Bruce Willis or his experiences writing a Superman draft.
Jay and Silent Bob are iconic too even getting their own reboot movie now.
Clerks is a comedy cinema cult classic having lived far beyond its original $27,000 budget where Smith had to sell his comic book collection and its characters will live on forever due to some classic screenwriting.
Smith's appearance at our meeting must've shocked the Mormon founder, Mark Wattles, when Smith began using excessive profanity and talking about giving blow jobs in the bathroom for cash.
My own experiences as a video store manager were reflected in a lot of what Randal says especially when it came to movie recommendations. I'll never forget being asked "Which is better, Booty Call or Schindler's List" or arguing with customers during the "full screen" vs. "widescreen" debate explaining widescreen was better because you could see the entire picture instead of the side of the film being cut off.
Every time I rewatch Clerks it always reminds me of those times and how I reflect fondly on them now so many years later.
Smith was a funny guy and he certainly tells good stories if you have ever seen one of his stand-up specials where he talks about meeting Prince, Bruce Willis or his experiences writing a Superman draft.
Jay and Silent Bob are iconic too even getting their own reboot movie now.
Clerks is a comedy cinema cult classic having lived far beyond its original $27,000 budget where Smith had to sell his comic book collection and its characters will live on forever due to some classic screenwriting.
Kyera (8 KP) rated Geekerella (Once Upon a Con #1) in Books
Jan 31, 2018
Geekerella is a modern day retelling of the classic fairytale, Cinderella. Our protagonist is Ella and the most important thing in her life is fandom, specifically her love of Starfleet. It was a show that she watched on re-runs with her dad and fell in love with. Her father even started a convention called Excelsicon because of his love of Starfleet. After her mother died when she was a small child, it was just Ella and her dad. Unfortunately, her father got remarried and later died in a car accident leaving Ella with her step-mother and two step-sisters. They didn’t understand her love of the sci-fi cult hit and treated her more like a servant than a sister.
Geekerella is a cute contemporary novel that will speak to your fandom loving heart. Even if you’re not super into sci-fi, comics, comic con, cosplay or those types of things, I think you will enjoy the classic human experience portrayed in this book. The Cinderella retelling aspect of the story was the least relevant to my reading experience. I personally enjoyed the development of friendly and romantic relationships, the geeking out over fandoms and the personal growth seen in this novel.
The main characters are likable and relatable, despite the fact that one of them is famous. He alternates between wanting to be normal, or down to earth, and succumbing to the intoxicating appeal of being famous. Even though you generally know the bones of the story if you’re familiar with Cinderella, the story itself doesn’t feel incredibly formulaic and can surprise you at times.
Highly recommended to young adult/teen fan of contemporary books, teen romance, nerd/geekdom, comic con, cosplay, fairytale retellings and simple, cute reads.
Geekerella is a cute contemporary novel that will speak to your fandom loving heart. Even if you’re not super into sci-fi, comics, comic con, cosplay or those types of things, I think you will enjoy the classic human experience portrayed in this book. The Cinderella retelling aspect of the story was the least relevant to my reading experience. I personally enjoyed the development of friendly and romantic relationships, the geeking out over fandoms and the personal growth seen in this novel.
The main characters are likable and relatable, despite the fact that one of them is famous. He alternates between wanting to be normal, or down to earth, and succumbing to the intoxicating appeal of being famous. Even though you generally know the bones of the story if you’re familiar with Cinderella, the story itself doesn’t feel incredibly formulaic and can surprise you at times.
Highly recommended to young adult/teen fan of contemporary books, teen romance, nerd/geekdom, comic con, cosplay, fairytale retellings and simple, cute reads.