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Lee (2222 KP) rated Phineas and Ferb the Movie: Candace Against the Universe (2020) in Movies
Sep 2, 2020
Like being back with old friends....
Tenet? I’m sorry, no, THIS was actually the biggest movie release of last week. Well, it is when you’re currently having to isolate at home and cannot go to the cinema for a few weeks. Despite that, I was actually way more excited for this to hit Disney+ this morning than a man my age probably should have been, and I have been for sometime, since it was first announced. I even managed to convince my daughter to get up early and watch with me, recreating those wonderful days when we both used to get up bright and early on a Saturday morning and sit and watch back to back episodes.
For the uninitiated, Phineas and Ferb are two step-brothers who spend their summer holiday coming up with highly elaborate ways to occupy every day, usually resulting in some wacky adventures and an extremely frustrated sister, Candace. Candace is forever trying to bust the boys and get their mum to catch them in the act, only to fail every time as some last second incident conveniently erases any evidence. Oh, and they also have a pet platypus called Perry, who without their knowledge works as an agent for a secret animal organisation, trying each episode to thwart the latest evil scheme hatched by Dr Doofenshmirtz. It’s very funny, features some incredibly catchy songs, and is just an extremely well written show for both kids and adults to enjoy. Running for four seasons, and racking up over 200 episodes before ending in 2015, the show also spawned a number of crossover specials involving Marvel and Star Wars.
Candace against the universe is the second feature length Phineas and Ferb movie and opens with Candace, lamenting the sad fact that no matter what she does, she never manages to successfully bust her brothers. All of this is delivered in the form of a song, and acts as a nostalgic reminder of some of the crazy inventions and adventures the boys have been involved in over the course of the series. The song ends with another perfect chance for Candace to bust the boys, who are currently enjoying themselves with their friends in the back garden. But of course, she fails. After heading out to the front of the house, and meeting up with friend Vanessa, she spots an alien spaceship. Believing her brothers to be behind it somehow, she and Vanessa are sucked up inside, before taking off and shooting up into the sky.
The boys see Candace flying away in the ship, and after photographing the alien license plate, are able to quickly identify where she’s headed (as you do…). They round up the gang and quickly rustle up a portal in their back garden (as you do…), in order to jump to the planet where Candace is being taken. The portal takes them via Doofenshmirtz Evil Inc, where they pick up Heinz Doofenshmirtz and Perry the Platypus (unknowingly), before heading off in a spaceship of their own. When they do catch up with Candace, they discover that she is being hailed as ‘the chosen one’ by the alien race that captured her. But does the queen of the planet have a more sinister reason for bringing Candace all this way?
It’s fair to say that, unless you’re already a fan of the show, you’re unlikely to have any interest whatsoever in watching Candace Against the Universe. For fans of the show though, this is a wonderful trip down memory lane, unless you’ve already spent all of lockdown recently catching up on all of the episodes on Disney+, and it feels so good to be back in the company of such wonderful characters. There’s a lot of comfort to be had from the running gags and themes of the episode format of the show, and the only thing I found with this movie, and the crossover shows, is that they end up feeling like a dragged out episode at times, tending to sag a little around the middle.
It’s a very minor complaint though. The songs are as good as ever, including a song from Doofenshmirtz about ‘adulting’, and the humour is still smart and on point, although Buford does tend to get some of the funnier lines in my opinion. And when Buford gets ridiculed for bringing a canoe with him on their trip to the alien planet, and Doofenshmirtz gets laughed at for inventing something as stupid as a “Chicken Replace-inator” – basically a gun which swaps whatever you fire at with the nearest chicken – you just know they’re working on delivering us some great gags later on throughout the movie. And obviously, Perry the Platypus gets to save the day as usual, and without anyone even realising it. It’s like being back in the company of old friends. Fingers crossed that this isn’t the last we see of Phineas, Ferb and the gang.
For the uninitiated, Phineas and Ferb are two step-brothers who spend their summer holiday coming up with highly elaborate ways to occupy every day, usually resulting in some wacky adventures and an extremely frustrated sister, Candace. Candace is forever trying to bust the boys and get their mum to catch them in the act, only to fail every time as some last second incident conveniently erases any evidence. Oh, and they also have a pet platypus called Perry, who without their knowledge works as an agent for a secret animal organisation, trying each episode to thwart the latest evil scheme hatched by Dr Doofenshmirtz. It’s very funny, features some incredibly catchy songs, and is just an extremely well written show for both kids and adults to enjoy. Running for four seasons, and racking up over 200 episodes before ending in 2015, the show also spawned a number of crossover specials involving Marvel and Star Wars.
Candace against the universe is the second feature length Phineas and Ferb movie and opens with Candace, lamenting the sad fact that no matter what she does, she never manages to successfully bust her brothers. All of this is delivered in the form of a song, and acts as a nostalgic reminder of some of the crazy inventions and adventures the boys have been involved in over the course of the series. The song ends with another perfect chance for Candace to bust the boys, who are currently enjoying themselves with their friends in the back garden. But of course, she fails. After heading out to the front of the house, and meeting up with friend Vanessa, she spots an alien spaceship. Believing her brothers to be behind it somehow, she and Vanessa are sucked up inside, before taking off and shooting up into the sky.
The boys see Candace flying away in the ship, and after photographing the alien license plate, are able to quickly identify where she’s headed (as you do…). They round up the gang and quickly rustle up a portal in their back garden (as you do…), in order to jump to the planet where Candace is being taken. The portal takes them via Doofenshmirtz Evil Inc, where they pick up Heinz Doofenshmirtz and Perry the Platypus (unknowingly), before heading off in a spaceship of their own. When they do catch up with Candace, they discover that she is being hailed as ‘the chosen one’ by the alien race that captured her. But does the queen of the planet have a more sinister reason for bringing Candace all this way?
It’s fair to say that, unless you’re already a fan of the show, you’re unlikely to have any interest whatsoever in watching Candace Against the Universe. For fans of the show though, this is a wonderful trip down memory lane, unless you’ve already spent all of lockdown recently catching up on all of the episodes on Disney+, and it feels so good to be back in the company of such wonderful characters. There’s a lot of comfort to be had from the running gags and themes of the episode format of the show, and the only thing I found with this movie, and the crossover shows, is that they end up feeling like a dragged out episode at times, tending to sag a little around the middle.
It’s a very minor complaint though. The songs are as good as ever, including a song from Doofenshmirtz about ‘adulting’, and the humour is still smart and on point, although Buford does tend to get some of the funnier lines in my opinion. And when Buford gets ridiculed for bringing a canoe with him on their trip to the alien planet, and Doofenshmirtz gets laughed at for inventing something as stupid as a “Chicken Replace-inator” – basically a gun which swaps whatever you fire at with the nearest chicken – you just know they’re working on delivering us some great gags later on throughout the movie. And obviously, Perry the Platypus gets to save the day as usual, and without anyone even realising it. It’s like being back in the company of old friends. Fingers crossed that this isn’t the last we see of Phineas, Ferb and the gang.

Gareth von Kallenbach (980 KP) rated Star Trek (2009) in Movies
Aug 14, 2019
With declining attendance at conventions and a dwindling audience for recent films and the last Star Trek series, Enterprise, Paramount was desperate to find a way to breathe new life into their franchise. So they pinned their hopes on director J.J. Abrams. Even with a string of hit movies and television series under his belt, some believed that Abrams was facing an uphill battle in trying to resuscitate Star Trek, with its legions of rabid fans obsessively protective of the series’ 40-plus years of established history.
While many fans were thrilled with the choice of Abrams, some of the casting choices of its beloved characters were met with doubt and skepticism. Thankfully, the man behind such motion picture hits as “Cloverfield”, “Mission Impossible 3”, and television series LOST, Alias and Fringe, was more than up to the task and has crafted a visually spectacular action film that combines the best of Trek with groundbreaking effects and creative vitality.
Using a script by Robert Orci and Alex Kurtzman, the new film focuses on the early days of the crew, and how young James. T. Kirk (Chris Pine) went from being a joy-riding, bar-fighting hothead into captain of the Enterprise. Kirk is challenged by Captain Christopher Pike (Bruce Greenwood) to live up to the legacy of his father and make something of his life in Starfleet. Despite his cocky attitude, the young man is able to thrive at the academy despite his arrogant behavior and his womanizing ways.
At the same time, a threat has arisen in the form of a Romulan named Nero (Eric Bana), who seeks to cause massive death and destruction in his quest for vengeance. With danger looming, Kirk and his fellow classmates are pressed into action, and thanks to some skillful work from his friend Leonard Mc Coy (Karl Urban), Kirk finds himself onboard the new Federation flagship Enterprise.
En route to their destination, Kirk realizes they are heading into a trap and warns Captain Pike of his concerns. Naturally this does not sit well with some of the seasoned officers, especially Spock (Zachary Quinto), who sees the emotional Kirk as an unwanted reminder of his human half, which he tries to hide at all costs.
Eventually the Enterprise is confronted by Nero and in an impressive sequence of events Kirk and Sulu (John Cho), lead an orbital skydive mission to thwart Nero’s plot. Spock finds himself commanding the ship and he and Kirk, two polar opposites, disagree over a course of action. Citing insurbordination and dereliction, Spock expels Kirk from the ship onto a frigid and dangerous planet. What follows is an amazing and thrilling adventure that culminates in an impressive finale, that proves that Trek has got plenty of life left in it.
While I loved the film, I found that I had to detach myself from my love of classic Trek to fully enjoy it. The film covers changes in established cannon by setting events in an alternate timeline. Despite the different eras of the previous series and films, there was always a certain continuity to the ships, planets, and characters that always seemed to fit, which I found myself missing in this new incarnation.
In Abram’s version, the Enterprise engine room is awash in catwalks, pipes, and valves that seemed out of place on a ship set in the 23rd century. I also found myself asking why such strategically valuable planets such as Earth and Vulcan would not have massive defense fleets in orbit, and would task only a handful of ships for their defense. There was a suggestion, that the ships of the fleet were amassed elsewhere on another matter of importance, but that does not explain what would leave the planets relatively unguarded. Defense codes aside, I found it hard to believe that automated defenses would be all that was left behind, and that reinforcements were not available.
I also had an issue with what Nero was supposedly doing for 25 years and how he kept such a low profile while he plotted his revenge. The final issue I had was with product placement as I found it hard to believe that Nokia and its familiar ringtone and Budweiser would be around as Trek lore is based on the planet narrowly surviving a nuclear war in the past that nearly destroyed everything. While this may seem like minor criticism, from the perspective of a long time Star Trek fan, it contradicts much of what had been established.
Thankfully, Abrams and crew take the series in a new direction without totally losing sight of where it came from. There are many nods to the series and Abrams clearly respects the original material enough to let fans know that their beloved Trek is still there in the original timeline, with its history intact. By cleverly establishing a different timeline, Abrams has creative freedom to go in any direction he desires.
The cast is strong, with Chris Pine’s Kirk as cocky and entertaining as his predecessor. I loved Anton Yelchin as Chekov and his struggles with the English language, Simon Pegg’s quick quips as Scotty, and the sassy attitude Zoe Saldana’s injects into her Uhura. The amazing visuals and designs of the film are breathtaking and it was clear that the Industrial Light & Magic (ILM) crew pushed themselves to bring everything they had to the film. In the end, Star Trek is a remarkable film that, despite some issues, has a solid new lease on life. Abrams boldly, and triumphantly, goes where fans, old and new, will gladly follow.
While many fans were thrilled with the choice of Abrams, some of the casting choices of its beloved characters were met with doubt and skepticism. Thankfully, the man behind such motion picture hits as “Cloverfield”, “Mission Impossible 3”, and television series LOST, Alias and Fringe, was more than up to the task and has crafted a visually spectacular action film that combines the best of Trek with groundbreaking effects and creative vitality.
Using a script by Robert Orci and Alex Kurtzman, the new film focuses on the early days of the crew, and how young James. T. Kirk (Chris Pine) went from being a joy-riding, bar-fighting hothead into captain of the Enterprise. Kirk is challenged by Captain Christopher Pike (Bruce Greenwood) to live up to the legacy of his father and make something of his life in Starfleet. Despite his cocky attitude, the young man is able to thrive at the academy despite his arrogant behavior and his womanizing ways.
At the same time, a threat has arisen in the form of a Romulan named Nero (Eric Bana), who seeks to cause massive death and destruction in his quest for vengeance. With danger looming, Kirk and his fellow classmates are pressed into action, and thanks to some skillful work from his friend Leonard Mc Coy (Karl Urban), Kirk finds himself onboard the new Federation flagship Enterprise.
En route to their destination, Kirk realizes they are heading into a trap and warns Captain Pike of his concerns. Naturally this does not sit well with some of the seasoned officers, especially Spock (Zachary Quinto), who sees the emotional Kirk as an unwanted reminder of his human half, which he tries to hide at all costs.
Eventually the Enterprise is confronted by Nero and in an impressive sequence of events Kirk and Sulu (John Cho), lead an orbital skydive mission to thwart Nero’s plot. Spock finds himself commanding the ship and he and Kirk, two polar opposites, disagree over a course of action. Citing insurbordination and dereliction, Spock expels Kirk from the ship onto a frigid and dangerous planet. What follows is an amazing and thrilling adventure that culminates in an impressive finale, that proves that Trek has got plenty of life left in it.
While I loved the film, I found that I had to detach myself from my love of classic Trek to fully enjoy it. The film covers changes in established cannon by setting events in an alternate timeline. Despite the different eras of the previous series and films, there was always a certain continuity to the ships, planets, and characters that always seemed to fit, which I found myself missing in this new incarnation.
In Abram’s version, the Enterprise engine room is awash in catwalks, pipes, and valves that seemed out of place on a ship set in the 23rd century. I also found myself asking why such strategically valuable planets such as Earth and Vulcan would not have massive defense fleets in orbit, and would task only a handful of ships for their defense. There was a suggestion, that the ships of the fleet were amassed elsewhere on another matter of importance, but that does not explain what would leave the planets relatively unguarded. Defense codes aside, I found it hard to believe that automated defenses would be all that was left behind, and that reinforcements were not available.
I also had an issue with what Nero was supposedly doing for 25 years and how he kept such a low profile while he plotted his revenge. The final issue I had was with product placement as I found it hard to believe that Nokia and its familiar ringtone and Budweiser would be around as Trek lore is based on the planet narrowly surviving a nuclear war in the past that nearly destroyed everything. While this may seem like minor criticism, from the perspective of a long time Star Trek fan, it contradicts much of what had been established.
Thankfully, Abrams and crew take the series in a new direction without totally losing sight of where it came from. There are many nods to the series and Abrams clearly respects the original material enough to let fans know that their beloved Trek is still there in the original timeline, with its history intact. By cleverly establishing a different timeline, Abrams has creative freedom to go in any direction he desires.
The cast is strong, with Chris Pine’s Kirk as cocky and entertaining as his predecessor. I loved Anton Yelchin as Chekov and his struggles with the English language, Simon Pegg’s quick quips as Scotty, and the sassy attitude Zoe Saldana’s injects into her Uhura. The amazing visuals and designs of the film are breathtaking and it was clear that the Industrial Light & Magic (ILM) crew pushed themselves to bring everything they had to the film. In the end, Star Trek is a remarkable film that, despite some issues, has a solid new lease on life. Abrams boldly, and triumphantly, goes where fans, old and new, will gladly follow.

T.N. Nova (30 KP) rated What's In A Name? in Books
Jun 22, 2018
What’s in a name? by Pat Henshaw is a short novella about a Barista by the name of Jimmy Patterson who gets dumped at a bar on his birthday by his boyfriend Alex. The burly bartender who we first know as Alex 2 then later as “Guy”, comes in to save the day when Jimmy gets drunk off his backside and finds himself in the bathroom with his head over the toilet bowl. All Jimmy wants is to know the bartender’s first name. The story starts unfolding when “Guy” makes a deal with Jimmy. He has seven days to guess “Guy”’s first name; one guess each day.
While each day for the next week, Jimmy and Guy’s relationship becomes deeper to the point where they end up falling in love and do find their HEA, there is so much more to this story than just your typical boy meets boy, boy falls in love with boy, they live happily ever after type scenario. Jimmy and his co-owner of Penny’s coffee shop learn that not everything is going to be a bed of roses as thriving business owners when someone ends up trashing their mall branch shop. Jimmy and Guy have their own issues that they need to work out through the week that they’re together as well.
What I found interesting as well as refreshing about What’s in a Name? is that right from the very beginning the book had a fairytale feel to it. First there was the feel of a Rumpelstiltskin story in so far as having to guess Guy’s name and getting seven guess’s to figure out out. I’m not going to give away the ending of the book or the answer in this regards but the fairytale overlays continue throughout the book.
There were quite a few twists and turns to What’s in a Name along with unexpected surprises that pop up throughout the read such as Jimmy’s ex boyfriend Alex, who we meet at the beginning of the book, showing up later. There was some mystery to this story as well and the person we thought was the culprit wasn’t the one “Who done it” after all.
The one big downfall that I found while reading the story was that “Guy’s” first name became predictable by at least the middle of the story for me. Luckily that wasn’t the main plot otherwise there was a good chance I would have lost interest in the book. There were quite a few underlying and overlying aspects to What’s in a name that it kept me coming back to see what happened between the two men. What’s in a name is a quick read that I got through in a day and it took me that long only because it was during the weekend when I had other things going on. I would definitely recommend this to my friends.
While each day for the next week, Jimmy and Guy’s relationship becomes deeper to the point where they end up falling in love and do find their HEA, there is so much more to this story than just your typical boy meets boy, boy falls in love with boy, they live happily ever after type scenario. Jimmy and his co-owner of Penny’s coffee shop learn that not everything is going to be a bed of roses as thriving business owners when someone ends up trashing their mall branch shop. Jimmy and Guy have their own issues that they need to work out through the week that they’re together as well.
What I found interesting as well as refreshing about What’s in a Name? is that right from the very beginning the book had a fairytale feel to it. First there was the feel of a Rumpelstiltskin story in so far as having to guess Guy’s name and getting seven guess’s to figure out out. I’m not going to give away the ending of the book or the answer in this regards but the fairytale overlays continue throughout the book.
There were quite a few twists and turns to What’s in a Name along with unexpected surprises that pop up throughout the read such as Jimmy’s ex boyfriend Alex, who we meet at the beginning of the book, showing up later. There was some mystery to this story as well and the person we thought was the culprit wasn’t the one “Who done it” after all.
The one big downfall that I found while reading the story was that “Guy’s” first name became predictable by at least the middle of the story for me. Luckily that wasn’t the main plot otherwise there was a good chance I would have lost interest in the book. There were quite a few underlying and overlying aspects to What’s in a name that it kept me coming back to see what happened between the two men. What’s in a name is a quick read that I got through in a day and it took me that long only because it was during the weekend when I had other things going on. I would definitely recommend this to my friends.
Don’t Wake Up is the story of Alex, a Doctor working in a busy emergency department. Alex seems to have everything going for her. She has a fiance, she has a home, a career. Until one day, she is attacked and sexually assaulted, in circumstances that seem totally unrealistic to anyone and everyone. Support quickly dies, and nobody believes her. Her fiance leaves, her friends and colleagues leave. She’s left doubting her own sanity. Then, she ends up framed for a murder she didn’t commit. The trail of destruction runs through her life whilst she tries to prove that she’s innocent, and is indeed a victim herself.
With well thought out unpredictable twists and a very good element of surprise, I found this book to be a fantastic read. The main character, the victim Alex, is well thought out with an enormous layer of depth to her. You truly feel empathy for her, and her situation. Her story takes you on a rollercoaster of emotion, where you feel like you want to reach through the pages and hold her hand as she stumbles and falls through trying to survive her ordeal. Although what happened to Alex seems unbelievable to the other characters, you as a reader know the truth, and you’ll want to scream it. Especially to a certain Detective Best.
There are too many positives from this book to list. So I’ll keep it as short as I can. The character depth is amazing, the story world is immersive and interesting. Every details is covered, you’re left imagining nothing as the whole picture is painted for you. The entire book is consistent without, as are the characters and their belief systems and backstories. It’s a brilliantly thought out plot, and an ending so unique I haven’t seen it in a while.
I only have two criticisms, and even then they’re mild. One is the books length. It’s shorter than it needed to be. I’d have loved for an extra few chapters on the end, showing Alex truly move from victim to survivor. It wouldn’t affect the main story in any way at all, and doesn’t cause the book to be anything less than brilliant. It just would’ve been nice from a personal point of view, to watch Alex step into her future. The second, and again only small, criticism I have is that the time hops are often hard to place. A chapter will skip ahead by a few days / weeks etc, and it’s hard to know where we are. Within a few pages though it’s either a] easier to work out, or b] it doesn’t actually matter as it doesn’t affect the story.
Overall, this book is fantastic. It’s a thoroughly good read, with twists and an ending, that comes out of no where. A genuine page turner that really keeps you interested in what’s to come next.
With well thought out unpredictable twists and a very good element of surprise, I found this book to be a fantastic read. The main character, the victim Alex, is well thought out with an enormous layer of depth to her. You truly feel empathy for her, and her situation. Her story takes you on a rollercoaster of emotion, where you feel like you want to reach through the pages and hold her hand as she stumbles and falls through trying to survive her ordeal. Although what happened to Alex seems unbelievable to the other characters, you as a reader know the truth, and you’ll want to scream it. Especially to a certain Detective Best.
There are too many positives from this book to list. So I’ll keep it as short as I can. The character depth is amazing, the story world is immersive and interesting. Every details is covered, you’re left imagining nothing as the whole picture is painted for you. The entire book is consistent without, as are the characters and their belief systems and backstories. It’s a brilliantly thought out plot, and an ending so unique I haven’t seen it in a while.
I only have two criticisms, and even then they’re mild. One is the books length. It’s shorter than it needed to be. I’d have loved for an extra few chapters on the end, showing Alex truly move from victim to survivor. It wouldn’t affect the main story in any way at all, and doesn’t cause the book to be anything less than brilliant. It just would’ve been nice from a personal point of view, to watch Alex step into her future. The second, and again only small, criticism I have is that the time hops are often hard to place. A chapter will skip ahead by a few days / weeks etc, and it’s hard to know where we are. Within a few pages though it’s either a] easier to work out, or b] it doesn’t actually matter as it doesn’t affect the story.
Overall, this book is fantastic. It’s a thoroughly good read, with twists and an ending, that comes out of no where. A genuine page turner that really keeps you interested in what’s to come next.

BookwormLea (3034 KP) rated Love and Monsters (2021) in Movies
Apr 17, 2021
Good take on an apocalypse. But really?
Contains spoilers, click to show
So the world's going to end with a huge comet but they save themselves with a rocket. But the rocket is made of some weird crap that lands back on earth and mutates all the bugs and lizards. Don't ask me why only those things and not actual animals because I don't know.
In a year, 95% of the worlds population has been wiped out. Those that are left have spent 7 years in bunkers, safe houses and other hidey holes. Joel is one of them. He was 16 when the world ended and now he wants to go find his ex girlfriend who lives in a different (what they call) colony. He's lonely because all his colony family have shacked up and he's the odd one out. He's also totally useless. He freezes up at the sight of the giant mutant bugs. But yes, he leaves to take a 7 day journey across mutant filled terrain, thats overgrown over 7 years.
Far fetched right? But he does it. With the help of a dog (yeah, a dog survived 7 years alone) an old man and his adopted daughter who know everything there is to know about the mutants, and at some weird point, a broken AI who just happens to have a few moments spare to comfort him. Also, sky jellies??? Mutations can't make sea animals fly...
So he gets there eventually, and finds her looking after old people. She's about to pack up and boars a yacht for a creepy youngish captain. And after some deliberation, Joel realises he's not who he says he is and he's actually a food stealer which, haha, ironically Joel kept being accused of being just that!! The captain sets this giant crab onto the biddies and sets sail to loot some other colony. But Joel looks right into that creepy crabs slightly human looking eyes and realises, he just wants to be free like any other self respecting mutant crab. So of course he frees him.
And then because his ex is a bitch who totally forgot about him and didn't really want him to go there, he goes back to his old colony to help them get to the mountain where there is a huge safe haven supposedly.
No romantic ending. He mysteriously survived 14 days on the surface, only coming close to being eaten like 5 times. And we don't even see if they make it to the mountain. Instead we hear his speech over the radio signals, encouraging people who've been safe for 7 years to risk their lives outside trying to make it to the mountains. Because if he can, anyone can.... gross.
So in summary, if they'd skipped the romance part, and maybe made it about a guy finding his parents or something, great movie. And someone give the damn dog his human back!
In a year, 95% of the worlds population has been wiped out. Those that are left have spent 7 years in bunkers, safe houses and other hidey holes. Joel is one of them. He was 16 when the world ended and now he wants to go find his ex girlfriend who lives in a different (what they call) colony. He's lonely because all his colony family have shacked up and he's the odd one out. He's also totally useless. He freezes up at the sight of the giant mutant bugs. But yes, he leaves to take a 7 day journey across mutant filled terrain, thats overgrown over 7 years.
Far fetched right? But he does it. With the help of a dog (yeah, a dog survived 7 years alone) an old man and his adopted daughter who know everything there is to know about the mutants, and at some weird point, a broken AI who just happens to have a few moments spare to comfort him. Also, sky jellies??? Mutations can't make sea animals fly...
So he gets there eventually, and finds her looking after old people. She's about to pack up and boars a yacht for a creepy youngish captain. And after some deliberation, Joel realises he's not who he says he is and he's actually a food stealer which, haha, ironically Joel kept being accused of being just that!! The captain sets this giant crab onto the biddies and sets sail to loot some other colony. But Joel looks right into that creepy crabs slightly human looking eyes and realises, he just wants to be free like any other self respecting mutant crab. So of course he frees him.
And then because his ex is a bitch who totally forgot about him and didn't really want him to go there, he goes back to his old colony to help them get to the mountain where there is a huge safe haven supposedly.
No romantic ending. He mysteriously survived 14 days on the surface, only coming close to being eaten like 5 times. And we don't even see if they make it to the mountain. Instead we hear his speech over the radio signals, encouraging people who've been safe for 7 years to risk their lives outside trying to make it to the mountains. Because if he can, anyone can.... gross.
So in summary, if they'd skipped the romance part, and maybe made it about a guy finding his parents or something, great movie. And someone give the damn dog his human back!

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Bob Mann (459 KP) rated Instant Family (2019) in Movies
Sep 28, 2021
Enjoyable and harmless comedy laced with a degree of sentimentality.
The Plot
Pete (Mark Wahlberg) and Ellie (Rose Byrne) are focused and business-oriented home designers. They’ve talked about having kids “sometime in the future” but the years – as years are want to do – are motoring away from them. Pete is concerned that if they have their own kids now then he will end up being an “old dad” (cue very funny, black-comedy, flashback). This leads them into contact with the State’s fostering service – led by Karen (Octavia Spencer) and Sharon (Tig Notaro) – and they progress into foster training. This introduces into their ‘perfect adult lives’ 15-year old Lizzy (Isabela Moner) and her younger siblings Juan (Gustavo Quiroz) and Lita (Julianna Gamiz). As these guys come from a troubled background Pete and Ellie find they have their work cut out. Who will crack first?
The turns
You’ve got to admire Mark Wahlberg as an actor. In the same vein as Steve Carell, he seems to be able to flex from dramatic (in his case, tough-guy action roles) to comedy without a blink. He’s nowhere near the calibre of actor as Carell, but he brings to all his roles a sense of menace – derived no doubt from his torrid criminal background in younger days. (His wiki page makes your eyes water: there’s a great biopic screenplay waiting to be written there! ) It must have made the kid actor who plays Charlie (Carson Holmes) actually soil himself at a key point in the film!
Wahlberg and the excellent Rose Byrne make a believable driven-couple, and Byrne has such a range of expressive faces that she can’t help but make you laugh.
Of the child actors, Nickelodeon star Isabella Moner shines with genuine brilliance, both in terms of her acting as the fiercely loyal Lizzy but also in terms of her musical ability (she sings the impressive end-title song). With Hollywood in ‘post-La-La-Showman: Here we go again’ mode, this is a talented young lady I predict might be in big demand over the next few years.
Top of my list of the most stupid “where the hell have I seen her before bang-my-head-against-the-cinema-wall” moments is the actress playing Ellie’s mother Jan. She is OF COURSE Julie Hagerty, air-hostess supreme from “Airplane!”.
Also good value, and topping my list of “I know her from lots of films but don’t know her name” is Margo Martindale* as Pete’s exuberant and easily bought mother Sandy. (*Must write this out 100 times before her picture appears in the Picturehouse Harbour Lights film quiz!).
A well-crafty script with some wayward characters
The script by director Sean (“Daddy’s Home”) Anders and John Morris zips along at a fine pace, albeit in a wholly predictable direction. It helps that I struggle the think of many films about the adoption process itself. Sure there have been lots of movies about children that have been adopted – Manchester By The Sea and Lion being two recent examples – but the only film I can immediately think of (and not in a good way) with foster care at its heart was the Katherine Heigl comedy from a few years ago “Life as we know it”. So this is good movie territory to mine.
There are some fine running jokes, notably young Juan’s penchant for constantly getting injured. However, the script also lapses as did Anders’ “Daddy’s Home 2” from last year – into moments of slushy sentimentality. (My dear departed Dad always used to affect an exaggerated snore at such points, and I could hear him in my head at regular intervals during the film!). I would have preferred a harder and blacker edge to the comedy: something that last year’s excellent “Game Night” pulled off so well.
There are also a couple of characters in the film that were poorly scripted and which just didn’t work. While Octavia Spencer was fine (channelling an almost identical version of her wisecracking and sardonic character from “The Shape of Water“), I just had no idea what her colleague Sharon (Tig Notaro) was supposed to be. The tone was all over the place. Similarly, who should pop up on a balcony in an unexpected cameo but the great Joan Cusack. And very funny she is too for the 10 second interruption. But the writers having got her there just couldn’t leave alone and we get a plain embarrassing extended interruption that strikes a duff note in the flow of the film.
Summary
The film is amusing and harmless without taxing many brain cells. Most notably unlike many so-called American ‘comedies’ it did actually make me laugh at multiple points. I should also point out that my wife absolutely loved it, rating it a strong 4* going on 5*.
But the really cute thing is that…
…the film is “inspired by a true family”: namely Anders’ own. He and his wife fostered three kids out of the US foster service, so the script is undoubtedly loosely based on their own experiences, which give it an extra impact for some of Peter and Ellie’s lines. In an essay for TIME (source: bustle.com) Anders wrote:
My wife Beth and I had been talking for years about whether we should have kids,” he wrote. “For the longest time we just felt like we couldn’t afford it. Then I sold a couple of scripts and was feeling like I might have a career, but we were in our 40s and worried we had left it too long. We knew kids would make our life bigger, so one day I joked, ‘Why don’t we just adopt a five-year-old and it will be like we got started five years ago?'”
It gives you a completely different perspective on the film knowing this. My wife after the film was saying “I’m not sure how accurately it portrays the fostering process”. But it clearly does.
Pete (Mark Wahlberg) and Ellie (Rose Byrne) are focused and business-oriented home designers. They’ve talked about having kids “sometime in the future” but the years – as years are want to do – are motoring away from them. Pete is concerned that if they have their own kids now then he will end up being an “old dad” (cue very funny, black-comedy, flashback). This leads them into contact with the State’s fostering service – led by Karen (Octavia Spencer) and Sharon (Tig Notaro) – and they progress into foster training. This introduces into their ‘perfect adult lives’ 15-year old Lizzy (Isabela Moner) and her younger siblings Juan (Gustavo Quiroz) and Lita (Julianna Gamiz). As these guys come from a troubled background Pete and Ellie find they have their work cut out. Who will crack first?
The turns
You’ve got to admire Mark Wahlberg as an actor. In the same vein as Steve Carell, he seems to be able to flex from dramatic (in his case, tough-guy action roles) to comedy without a blink. He’s nowhere near the calibre of actor as Carell, but he brings to all his roles a sense of menace – derived no doubt from his torrid criminal background in younger days. (His wiki page makes your eyes water: there’s a great biopic screenplay waiting to be written there! ) It must have made the kid actor who plays Charlie (Carson Holmes) actually soil himself at a key point in the film!
Wahlberg and the excellent Rose Byrne make a believable driven-couple, and Byrne has such a range of expressive faces that she can’t help but make you laugh.
Of the child actors, Nickelodeon star Isabella Moner shines with genuine brilliance, both in terms of her acting as the fiercely loyal Lizzy but also in terms of her musical ability (she sings the impressive end-title song). With Hollywood in ‘post-La-La-Showman: Here we go again’ mode, this is a talented young lady I predict might be in big demand over the next few years.
Top of my list of the most stupid “where the hell have I seen her before bang-my-head-against-the-cinema-wall” moments is the actress playing Ellie’s mother Jan. She is OF COURSE Julie Hagerty, air-hostess supreme from “Airplane!”.
Also good value, and topping my list of “I know her from lots of films but don’t know her name” is Margo Martindale* as Pete’s exuberant and easily bought mother Sandy. (*Must write this out 100 times before her picture appears in the Picturehouse Harbour Lights film quiz!).
A well-crafty script with some wayward characters
The script by director Sean (“Daddy’s Home”) Anders and John Morris zips along at a fine pace, albeit in a wholly predictable direction. It helps that I struggle the think of many films about the adoption process itself. Sure there have been lots of movies about children that have been adopted – Manchester By The Sea and Lion being two recent examples – but the only film I can immediately think of (and not in a good way) with foster care at its heart was the Katherine Heigl comedy from a few years ago “Life as we know it”. So this is good movie territory to mine.
There are some fine running jokes, notably young Juan’s penchant for constantly getting injured. However, the script also lapses as did Anders’ “Daddy’s Home 2” from last year – into moments of slushy sentimentality. (My dear departed Dad always used to affect an exaggerated snore at such points, and I could hear him in my head at regular intervals during the film!). I would have preferred a harder and blacker edge to the comedy: something that last year’s excellent “Game Night” pulled off so well.
There are also a couple of characters in the film that were poorly scripted and which just didn’t work. While Octavia Spencer was fine (channelling an almost identical version of her wisecracking and sardonic character from “The Shape of Water“), I just had no idea what her colleague Sharon (Tig Notaro) was supposed to be. The tone was all over the place. Similarly, who should pop up on a balcony in an unexpected cameo but the great Joan Cusack. And very funny she is too for the 10 second interruption. But the writers having got her there just couldn’t leave alone and we get a plain embarrassing extended interruption that strikes a duff note in the flow of the film.
Summary
The film is amusing and harmless without taxing many brain cells. Most notably unlike many so-called American ‘comedies’ it did actually make me laugh at multiple points. I should also point out that my wife absolutely loved it, rating it a strong 4* going on 5*.
But the really cute thing is that…
…the film is “inspired by a true family”: namely Anders’ own. He and his wife fostered three kids out of the US foster service, so the script is undoubtedly loosely based on their own experiences, which give it an extra impact for some of Peter and Ellie’s lines. In an essay for TIME (source: bustle.com) Anders wrote:
My wife Beth and I had been talking for years about whether we should have kids,” he wrote. “For the longest time we just felt like we couldn’t afford it. Then I sold a couple of scripts and was feeling like I might have a career, but we were in our 40s and worried we had left it too long. We knew kids would make our life bigger, so one day I joked, ‘Why don’t we just adopt a five-year-old and it will be like we got started five years ago?'”
It gives you a completely different perspective on the film knowing this. My wife after the film was saying “I’m not sure how accurately it portrays the fostering process”. But it clearly does.

Chris Sawin (602 KP) rated Harsh Times (2005) in Movies
Jun 18, 2019
Writer and director (and sometimes producer) David Ayer debuted in the film industry writing films such as Training Day, The Fast and the Furious, and S.W.A.T. but he came into his own once he started directing and producing (as well as continuing to write) his own projects with End of Watch and Fury being two of his best. In the past couple years, Ayer has produced and directed two big budget films (Suicide Squad and Bright) in the past few years that received a negative critical reputation that audiences still seem to love (sequels for both are in development). The first film David Ayer produced, wrote, and directed that’s more in the vein of Training Day and End of Watch and is largely based on the individuals Ayer knew while living in South Central, Los Angeles is a little crime film called Harsh Times.
Jim Luther Davis (Christian Bale) seems like a normal guy that anyone could know. Now that he’s done his time as a soldier, it’s now his dream to become a cop in Los Angeles. Unfortunately though, Jim likes to spend most days drinking, smoking pot, and looking for ways to either get laid or kick the snot out of someone and his time as a soldier gets to him more than he lets on. He has nightmares every night and wakes up screaming with cold chills and is on the verge of downright insanity.
His best friend, Mike Alonzo (Freddy Rodriguez), has the intention of getting a job to make his wife happy but his drinking problem stands in the way of that. While Mike has his wife, Sylvia (Eva Longoria), Jim has his girlfriend, Marta (Tammy Trull), back in Mexico that he hopes to get across the border once he gets that dream job. One day, Jim gets a call from Homeland Security and Mike has an interview go surprisingly well at one of the best businesses in town; the two best friends think their lives are beginning to look up. However, Jim gets pushed too far and innocent people are suddenly caught in the crossfire.
Harsh Times plays out like a song that becomes a sleeper hit or one that eventually evolves into one of your favorites; events unfold rather slowly but they’re also building towards a big finale. Once the ball gets rolling, it’s inevitable to try and resist the mayhem that’s sure to ensue. Harsh Times may not be that appealing on the surface, but David Ayer has mastered the dynamic of two cops (one is usually Caucasian and the other is usually Hispanic or African American) set within a broken neighborhood. Watching Jim and Mike give into their vices and basically flush their dreams down the toilet by relishing the deteriorated reputation they’re known for is a riveting train wreck. Aside from Christian Bale’s outstanding performance, the real gem of the film lies within the last 20 minutes.
Ayer typically aims to shock or catch you off guard with the finales of his crime films, but there’s also a scene involving Jim that is unexpected. It’s an intriguing scene that is spontaneous in nature, but it puts what Jim went through as a soldier into perspective. Jim is completely unfazed by what he puts himself through, but Mike seems to be physically traumatized by the whole ordeal. It seems rather unimportant as it’s occurring, but it’s also the most memorable sequence once the credits roll. Before Don’t Breathe came along in 2016, this was the worst way any Hollywood film ever utilized a turkey baster.
For several years, Christian Bale was known for dramatically changing his appearance and using a different accent in every project he was a part of. Watching Harsh Times after seeing Batman Begins (both films were released in 2005) for the first time allows you to appreciate Bale’s performance even more. Imagine Batman or even Bruce Wayne trying to say with a straight face, “Yeah, homie. That’s how we roll in these streets, dawg.” It seems implausible and almost otherworldly; it’s a transition you never expected Bale to make. The transformation of the Jim Luther Davis character is incredible. The film’s editing when Jim is going through one of his episodes is an admirable nod to how unstable he is. Once the screen has that yellow tint to it, you know something detrimental is about to go down.
Harsh Times has a reputation for being slow and boring, but it’s worth a watch especially if you’re a fan of David Ayer films. The crime film may not appeal to everyone, but it probably has a lot more to offer than anyone gives it credit for. Christian Bale has a particularly strong performance in the film that deserves to behold and the intense finale should make up for any slow or dragging sequences. If you’re watching the film for the first time, try giving it a chance when you know you have a more patient mentality. You may be pleasantly surprised with Harsh Times.
Harsh Times is available to stream on YouTube, Google Play, and Vudu for $2.99 and iTunes for $3.99. It’s available on Amazon Prime for free if you have Showtime with Prime Video channels. The film is available on Amazon on DVD for $7.96 and Multi-Format Blu-ray for $13.49. The pre-owned DVD is currently $4.09 with free shipping while a brand new Multi-Format Blu-ray is $15.98 with free shipping on eBay.
Jim Luther Davis (Christian Bale) seems like a normal guy that anyone could know. Now that he’s done his time as a soldier, it’s now his dream to become a cop in Los Angeles. Unfortunately though, Jim likes to spend most days drinking, smoking pot, and looking for ways to either get laid or kick the snot out of someone and his time as a soldier gets to him more than he lets on. He has nightmares every night and wakes up screaming with cold chills and is on the verge of downright insanity.
His best friend, Mike Alonzo (Freddy Rodriguez), has the intention of getting a job to make his wife happy but his drinking problem stands in the way of that. While Mike has his wife, Sylvia (Eva Longoria), Jim has his girlfriend, Marta (Tammy Trull), back in Mexico that he hopes to get across the border once he gets that dream job. One day, Jim gets a call from Homeland Security and Mike has an interview go surprisingly well at one of the best businesses in town; the two best friends think their lives are beginning to look up. However, Jim gets pushed too far and innocent people are suddenly caught in the crossfire.
Harsh Times plays out like a song that becomes a sleeper hit or one that eventually evolves into one of your favorites; events unfold rather slowly but they’re also building towards a big finale. Once the ball gets rolling, it’s inevitable to try and resist the mayhem that’s sure to ensue. Harsh Times may not be that appealing on the surface, but David Ayer has mastered the dynamic of two cops (one is usually Caucasian and the other is usually Hispanic or African American) set within a broken neighborhood. Watching Jim and Mike give into their vices and basically flush their dreams down the toilet by relishing the deteriorated reputation they’re known for is a riveting train wreck. Aside from Christian Bale’s outstanding performance, the real gem of the film lies within the last 20 minutes.
Ayer typically aims to shock or catch you off guard with the finales of his crime films, but there’s also a scene involving Jim that is unexpected. It’s an intriguing scene that is spontaneous in nature, but it puts what Jim went through as a soldier into perspective. Jim is completely unfazed by what he puts himself through, but Mike seems to be physically traumatized by the whole ordeal. It seems rather unimportant as it’s occurring, but it’s also the most memorable sequence once the credits roll. Before Don’t Breathe came along in 2016, this was the worst way any Hollywood film ever utilized a turkey baster.
For several years, Christian Bale was known for dramatically changing his appearance and using a different accent in every project he was a part of. Watching Harsh Times after seeing Batman Begins (both films were released in 2005) for the first time allows you to appreciate Bale’s performance even more. Imagine Batman or even Bruce Wayne trying to say with a straight face, “Yeah, homie. That’s how we roll in these streets, dawg.” It seems implausible and almost otherworldly; it’s a transition you never expected Bale to make. The transformation of the Jim Luther Davis character is incredible. The film’s editing when Jim is going through one of his episodes is an admirable nod to how unstable he is. Once the screen has that yellow tint to it, you know something detrimental is about to go down.
Harsh Times has a reputation for being slow and boring, but it’s worth a watch especially if you’re a fan of David Ayer films. The crime film may not appeal to everyone, but it probably has a lot more to offer than anyone gives it credit for. Christian Bale has a particularly strong performance in the film that deserves to behold and the intense finale should make up for any slow or dragging sequences. If you’re watching the film for the first time, try giving it a chance when you know you have a more patient mentality. You may be pleasantly surprised with Harsh Times.
Harsh Times is available to stream on YouTube, Google Play, and Vudu for $2.99 and iTunes for $3.99. It’s available on Amazon Prime for free if you have Showtime with Prime Video channels. The film is available on Amazon on DVD for $7.96 and Multi-Format Blu-ray for $13.49. The pre-owned DVD is currently $4.09 with free shipping while a brand new Multi-Format Blu-ray is $15.98 with free shipping on eBay.