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The King (2019)
The King (2019)
2019 | Biography, Drama, History
Verdict: Another King Fighting Film
Story: The King starts as the war between the English and the Scots continues to rage on, King Henry IV (Mendlesohn) is getting tired of the bloodshed and disloyalty being found in his own soldiers and with his health getting worse he recalls his son Hal (Chalamet) to his side.
As Hal find himself in a new power, he doesn’t know who to trust, so he turns to Falstaff (Edgerton) to help him in battle, with in latest battle being with the future French king The Dauphin (Pattinson).

Thoughts on The King

Characters – Hal is the young prince that would become King, a role he isn’t ready for, he doesn’t want to see large scale bloodshed like his father’s reign, but finds his country in war from all sides, he wants to end the battles and will look for solutions, which don’t always work for him. Falstaff is the man Hal turns to for advice when it comes to conflict, he thought under King Richard and he knows how to outsmart an enemy, first he must give up his drinking problem though. The Dauphin is next in line to be king of France, he is leading the armies into battle and doesn’t want any part of a deal with the King of England.
Performances – Timothee Chalamet is strong in the leading role, continuing to put himself on the right path to do anything he wants to in the future. Joel Edgerton is always a great supporting star in any movie, this is no different, while Robert Pattinson as the villainous soon to be king does a great job too.
Story – The story here follows a young king taking his place on the throne while his country is involved in wars that he never started and now he wants to end, hoping to find a more peaceful way to end the battles, forcing him to learn the truth about the bitter war between the nations. This is one of those stories which once again puts our history out there for the world to see with the English being seen as an all-conquering nation that always believed they were right, the spin is seeing how the young king wants to try and find a more peaceful way to end things, but just doesn’t get a chance to solve these problems. The pacing follows everything we have seen before, not making this standout on any means whatsoever, which just leads us to disappointment once again.
Biopic/History – This is a film that claims to tell the story of a real king and how he was brave, just like every single one through the years, we don’t know what he was like or what the battles were like, we only know the outcome.
Settings – The settings show us how the kingdoms are beautiful and how the battlefields are covered in blood and bodies.

Scene of the Movie – The battle.
That Moment That Annoyed Me – It is the same typical history story.
Final Thoughts – This is one of the period piece dramas that does everything it needs to without giving us the complete truth to what is happening with the real history.

Overall: Simple Royalty Film.
  
HI
Hello, I Love You
4
6.0 (2 Ratings)
Book Rating
<b>I listen to far too much kpop songs for my own good.</b> When I heard that <i>Hello, I Love You</i> is a book about kpop, I just <i>had</i> to read the book.

<b>I despise this. Katie Stout's debut novel isn't about kpop</b> – that's just a small element. It's just about <b>an American girl trying to run away from her past and ends up falling in love with a Korean superstar</b>. Oh, and <b>that Korean superstar is also running away from HIS past,</b> so hooray! Past runners colliding.
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It's obvious <b>Grace didn't do much "research." She's tired of eating rice every day, and she wrinkles her nose in disgust at fish</b> – does she realize that <b>rice and seafood is quite <i>literally</i> associated with every part of Asian culture</b> or what? How else do Koreans or Japanese survive when they're surrounded by ocean all around (the seafood part)?

Grace's <b>research basically consisted of typing in "international boarding schools," clicking on the first result that seemed interesting and decided, "Why not? It's the way out."</b> She doesn't even know <i>why</i> she chose Korea. It's <b>all about running away from the past,</b> and that was probably repeated multiple times in the book. <b>I just want to throw a book at Grace and say, "Suck it up, buttercup."</b>
<blockquote>I've kept a big distance from it because it reminds me too much of my past, too much of what I left behind.</blockquote>
Methinks the lady doth protest too much.
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I suppose I can't blame her because <b>the mom's worse – she's all, "Hi, Korea. I'm FARRR more superior than you."</b> *sticks nose up and saunters away in ten-inch heels* <b>If Grace is so "language impaired," she could have considered England, Canada, Australia or New Zealand where English is the primary language, thank you very much. -_-</b>
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<b>
I'm not happy at all. I'm not even Korean. I'm Chinese and Vietnamese. I don't know if my Asian meter has been insulted or not.</b> I suppose I'll applaud Stout for trying to write a book about kpop, but that's about as far as I'll go for <i>Hello, I Love You</i>.

<a href="https://bookwyrmingthoughts.com/review-hello-i-love-you-by-katie-m-stout/"; target="_blank">This review was originally posted on Bookwyrming Thoughts</a>
  
S
Spellhacker
6
6.0 (1 Ratings)
Book Rating
Review going live on the blog at midnight EST because UBB doesn't want to get along with block editor.

<b><i>The author/publisher provided a free copy of the book for review purposes - thank you! Receiving a review copy does not guarantee a positive review and therefore do not affect the opinion or content of the review.</i></b>

I love heists in books. We've got a group of people (each who are talented AF), something goes wrong (oop--) and then they're scrambling to fix things. Sometimes there's a character or two (or more) pining for another character and we just want to smush/protect them.

And it's definitely the case with <em>Spellhacker</em> by M.K. England, which follows Diz and her friends (Ania, Jaesin and Remi) as they take on one last job that ends up backfiring horribly in their faces. It's never happened in the two years they've been running their side business. There's magic (known as maz) and seriously cool technology involved, and that's usually a good recipe for me to enjoy the book. <s>Provided that something explodes, of course, but don't tell anyone.</s>

Which I did... for the most part. <em>Spellhacker</em> is a bit difficult for me to rate since a couple of issues throughout ruined some of my enjoyment.

<h2><strong>Two Things in <em>Spellhacker</em> I have issues with:</strong></h2>
(There were more, but they're minor.)

<h3><strong>The magic system</strong></h3>
I probably wouldn't have noticed it if Kal from Reader Voracious never mentioned it, but the moment she asked, I kept noticing... and not just the name. I keep thinking formaz is pronounced like "form ass." (Maybe that's just my sense of humor trying to get through the parts of the book I struggled with.)

But what I got really confused about were the differences between techwitch and spellweaver (kind of got an idea, still confused) and just how it worked... which I kept thinking of <a href="https://rwby.fandom.com/wiki/Dust">how dust works in RWBY</a>. It's most likely a very inaccurate depiction, though.

<h3><strong>The miscommunication</strong></h3>
I noticed this faintly at the beginning few chapters and didn't let it bother me <em>too</em> much. In fact, it pretty much slipped my mind until Kal brought it up. At times, it did get pretty damn irritating and I just wanted to shove Diz in front of a certain character like the many chances she had throughout the book. <em>And there are a lot of chances</em>.

<h2>Two <strong>Things I definitely didn't have an issue in <em>Spellhacker</em>:</strong></h2>
Or maybe just minor issues and they turned out to be good things in the end (after I thought about it).

<h3><strong>Diz's narration</strong></h3>
Diz is one of those characters I found absolutely annoying at first but slowly grew on me over the book. She's bitter and salty and full of sass; she's pretty much 95% angst teenager who wants things to go her way. She also sucks at communication big time; every time she <em>wants</em> to say something, she chooses not to. Even if she's called out by her friends, it takes a while before she actually comes out with it.

I hardcore relate.
  
The Finest Hours (2016)
The Finest Hours (2016)
2016 | Action, Drama, Mystery
The Finest Hours tells the story of four men who, in February of 1952, undertook one of the most daring rescue attempts in the history of the Unites States Coast Guard. A tanker, the SS Pendleton, is caught in a storm off the coast of New England and is ripped in half, leaving more than 30 sailors adrift and sinking. While Bernard Webber (Chris Pine) leads an impossible rescue in a lifeboat designed to hold only 12, his fiancée, Miriam (Holliday Grainger), struggles to come to terms with what it means to be the wife of a man who has to willingly risk his life for others.

 

Year after year, it proves out. January is just not a good month for cinema. With one hand, the studios campaign for award season glory and with the other, dump their trash. That’s not to say The Finest Hours is total garbage. Even I’m not that cynical to unconditionally condemn something that shines a light on the triumph of the human spirit when faced with insurmountable odds. It’s just that there is only about one-third of a good film here. Anytime the crew of the Pendelton was onscreen, I was captivated. Their struggle for survival and their feats of engineering under incredible pressure make for riveting entertainment and should have been a film unto itself. These scenes unfortunately are interspaced with and, more often than not, forced to take a back seat to paint-by-numbers dialogue, two-dimensional caricatures (both disappointing when you consider the three writers on this film were behind The Fighter) and a shockingly abrasive score during the main U.S. Coast Guard narrative. And yes, it may be called The Finest Hours, but if that’s the title they’re going with a little more effort should have been put into the rescuers, as opposed to those being rescued. Overall, we’re deprived of a sense of urgency, in what is supposed to be a race against time, and an intimacy with any character performed well enough to be worth caring about.

 

At least this isn’t a complete waste of an all-star cast. I’ll ease off on Chris Pine, tempted as I might be to pick on him. After having fumbled his way through both Captain Kirk and Jack Ryan, doing so now in a flick produced by Disney would feel rather like a cheap shot. Instead it’s fairer to write off the other, usually more dependable leads and praise Casey Affleck, who alone makes The Finest Hours watchable. Ironically, he plays the man who has to keep not only half a ship afloat, but an entire crew together. Between Eric Bana’s overstatement, Ben Foster’s understatement, and a questionable casting choice in Holliday Grainger, Affleck is heads above the rest when it comes to making courage and sentiment ring true.

 

A regrettable execution notwithstanding, better can and should have been done to honor these distinguished service members and viewers looking for a storytelling standard above the level of your average Hallmark original are advised to look elsewhere. Try, for instance, Oliver Stone’s (not as controversial as we all thought it was going to be) World Trade Center for a better example of how these tales of perseverance and survival are supposed to be done.
  
The Witch (2015)
The Witch (2015)
2015 | History, Horror
8
6.3 (28 Ratings)
Movie Rating
THE VVITCH

The full title is, The Witch: A New England Folktale. Like Grimm’s fairytales, American folklore has taken revisions over the centuries to become a palatable collection of juvenile life lessons. Anyone who has read the original versions of these stories knows how brutal, horrifying, and far removed they are from our current values. As much as I would not condone reading original classic witch tales to a small child, they do contain much deeper implications and ideas than the simple “Don’t tell lies” that are gleaned from modern revisions. What’s fascinating about The Witch is how familiar the setting and story is, without a single cliché or moment of prediction to speak of. The evil that was feared in 17th Century Puritan America has been so eclipsed by the human horrors of The Salem Witch Trials, that we have forgotten what it was to fear a witch.

We know these characters only by their Christian names. William removes his family from their Colonial settlement due to an incompatibility of faith. The colony of Puritans isn’t Christian enough. With his wife, Katherine, William takes his 4 children into the wilds of the Northeast. Airs of The Crucible envelope the setting. Common pronouns are replaced with “thines” and “thous”. Dialogue is delivered as if quoted from Shakespeare or the Bible itself. In the past, this oral dynamic has always sounded ardently rehearsed. Somehow, it’s natural here. Considering William’s rigorous faith, you might expect him to be an overbearingly shrewd father. He is in fact a loving and good man of his time; often a pushover. Katherine is the more fearsome parent, with a shrill voice and gaunt pointed face. While they do live in hardship, this is a good family. Once Fall deadens the colors and greys the skies, things begin to take a disturbing turn.

Ralph Ineson and Kate Dickie play the parents without an exaggeration of the material. Remarkable still are the actors portraying their children. Harvey Scrimshaw plays William’s 10-year-old son, Caleb, as natural as can be imagined. The dramatic beats of a horror movie come with taxing climactic moments and Scrimshaw acts beyond his years. Anya Taylor-Joy plays the eldest daughter Thomasin; a doe-eyed blonde beauty who plays the most relatable character of the flock. The dynamic between Caleb and Thompsin has notes of innocent sexual tension. Their secluded life leaves a great deal of new feelings that can’t be addressed due to their customs. These feelings lead to foreign temptations that are preyed upon by the timeless evil beyond the trees.

The greatest achievement of this film is how faithful it is to its setting and story, while keeping enough behind the veil to become engrossing. The tale feels as old as any, drawing from universal fears and motivations. How it draws you in, keeping you tied to the victims and their perspective while keeping the evil at arm’s length, shows a discipline of craft that greatly compliments the material. Much like vampires, witches have been trivialized and diluted by film into something superficially attractive and entertainingly evil. As with Noseferatu, seeing a witch living a damnable existence of ugliness is much more appropriate. If they’re ever beautiful, they won’t be for long.
  
Jungle Cruise (2021)
Jungle Cruise (2021)
2021 | Adventure
Ask anyone who has ever spent time at a Disney park what attractions they enjoy riding and chances are good that the Jungle Cruise will be amongst them. The project was a labor of love for Walt Disney and has thrilled millions of guests with the scenic cruise, animated animals, and the cringe-worthy puns and jokes from the captains who have made it an enduring legend.

Since attractions ranging from “Pirates of the Caribbean”, “The Haunted Mansion” and “The Tower of Terror” have made their way to screens along with others over the years; it was not much of a shock to hear that The Jungle Cruise was next in line to make the leap to the big screen. Despite several release date changes and then a lengthy delay due to Covid; the film has finally arrived backed by a star-studded premiere at Disneyland.

When Doctor Lilly Houghton (Emily Blunt) with the help of her high-maintenance brother MacGregor (Jack Whitehall) desire to find a mythical item and gain entry into a prestigious organization; they are hampered by the sexist views of early 1900 England and forced to steal an artifact and race to the Amazon.

With a dangerous foreigner; Prince Joachim Jesse Plemons and his goons in hot pursuit, Lilly and her brother find themselves in the company of a boat captain named Frank (Dwayne Johnson); who in dire need of money uses all sorts of methods to gain a charter and take Lilly and her brother into a dangerous area.

Along the way, all manner of humor, action, and dangers arise as everything from hostile natives, animals, rapids, and of course, The Prince stands in their way. If this was not bad enough; there is also a matter of a curse that must be factored in which presents an even bigger danger than before.

In a race against time, Frank and Lilly must learn to trust and work with one another and decipher the clues to save the day and keep the forces of evil from winning.

The film takes a bit of time to get going as while there is some action and great scenery and sets; early on it does seem to be unsure of what type of film it wants to be and what type of story it wants to tell.

Is it a madcap adventure with a dash of romance? Is it an FX-laden action spoof? Perhaps it is an over-the-top action film that recalls the fabled cinematic adventures of old?

In reality, the film is a combination of all of the above. I had flashes of “The African Queen”, “Romancing the Stone”, “Raiders of the Lost Ark”, “Pirates of The Caribbean”, and “The Mummy” during the film.

While the MacGuffin element of the film may be a bit confusing for some with more questions than answers; Blunt and Johnson work very well with one another and Whitehall provides a wider element to his character making him more than the comic relief in the film.

The FX are very enjoyable and the film mixes the humor with the action well including some of the best jokes from the attraction.

While it may at first glance be considered just a routine adventure film; the movie blends a strong and enjoyable cast with a fun adventure that recalls the thrilling cinematic tales of old but does so with a fresh and modern twist.

4 stars out of 5
  
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#1 <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/3099410597">The Princess Plan</a> - ★★★
#2 <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/3361072334">A Royal Kiss and Tell</a> - TBR

<img src="https://i0.wp.com/diaryofdifference.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/09/Book-Review-Banner-85.png?resize=768%2C432&ssl=1"/>;

I received The Princess Plan by Julia London from the amazing team at Mills & Boon. This is the first book in the series A Royal Wedding.

Historical romances are a hit or miss for me, and this one didn’t really hit the mark like I wanted it to. Prince Sebastian of Alucia is on his visit in London, when his personal secretary is murdered.

And a murder such as this one creates a very big buzz in London’s high society. When a scandal like this occurs, it’s all anyone talks about, including Eliza Trickelbank, who happens to own a gossip gazette.

When her gazette receives an anonymous tip off about this crime, Prince Sebastian has no choice, but to work with her in order to solve the mystery of his friend’s murder.

With a trade deal on the line and a pressure to find a noble bride, there is nothing more dangerous than a prince socialising with a commoner. They can’t seem to agree on anything, and find each other frustrating, but the temptation between them becomes harder and harder to be ignored.

<b><i>My Thoughts:</i></b>

I loved the Cinderella vibe around this book, and the trope of prince meets commoner. I also enjoyed the trope of enemies becoming lovers. Even though, in this case, it was more of a forbidden temptation meets annoyance that turns into affection.

I liked Sebastian as much as I disliked Eliza. Everything that annoyed me about her, he somehow managed to compensate for. She was trying very hard to be independent, but instead, she gave up a vibe that was almost unbearable and very insecure. With Sebastian I loved the dilemma between country vs heart, which I assume many nobles, especially during that time in England felt. I am sure that many of them sacrificed their love just to do right by their country.

I found the gazette excerpts quite funny at times, and very enlightening. They take you into a whole new world, where you feel as if you’re there, getting ready for a ball, or reading about the latest gossip of the nobles. The writing style matches the time setting perfectly. I think Julia London did an amazing job when it comes to that. Here is an excerpt that really made me giggle:

<b><i>“New information suggests that if a lady wishes to enjoy a romp without consequence, trotting a horse briskly the day after the romp should remove said consequence.”</i></b>

To conclude, I enjoyed The Princess Plan, but it wasn’t a favorite. The writing was beautiful and I am sure this will be a favorite for people that love historical romances. The only reason I didn’t love it is because of Eliza’s character and the tropes that I have already seen before.
  
Plain Bad Heroines
Plain Bad Heroines
Emily M. Danforth | 2021 | Contemporary, Horror, Humor & Comedy, LGBTQ+
7
7.0 (1 Ratings)
Book Rating
Plain Bad Heroines was one of my most anticipated reads of the year. I am a sucker for a lesbian tale. Add in a Gothic New England boarding school for girls? Sold.

The story centers around two time periods. The first, 1902, at the Brookhants School for Girls, run by Libbie Brookhants. A book by a young writer, Mary MacLane has come out--one that's incredibly scandalous for the times. Two Brookhants girls, Flo and Clara, are obsessed with it and establish The Plain Bad Heroine Society. The two are in love, meeting in secret--until they are attacked by yellow jackets at their hiding spot, a copy of the book found with them. A few years later the school closes, but not until after more scandal and death. Now, our second period, over a hundred years later, where Merritt Emmons, a young writer, publishes a book about Flo and Clara's story. It inspires a horror film starring Harper Harper, a famous lesbian actress. Harper will be playing Flo and B-list actress Audrey Wells, Clara. Filming on-site at the abandoned Brookhants site, the three women converge. But soon, weird things start happening, and the curse of Brookhants seems back to haunt the set--and our three modern-day heroines.

This book is absolutely enthralling at times. I flew through these 619 pages, that's for sure. My notes state "very lesbian," which is, of course, a major plus for me. Believe me, we don't get a lot of books starring ourselves. And you know, where we are killed off by swarms of yellow jackets. I honestly found both storylines compelling. It's hard not to fall a bit in love with Harper Harper, the charismatic celebrity (out!) lesbian. And 1902 isn't just about Clara and Flo, but Libbie Brookhants and her life trying to run a cursed school in the early 1900s. Honestly, the pages really flew by most of the time. Though, there are certainly moments where I felt some of the story could have been cut.

And yes, the narrative style is different, though it really adds to the uniqueness of the book. It's basically told by an omnipresent narrator, talking directly to the reader. There are footnotes, often humorous ones, and the end result is something you don't often find. For the most part, I felt like Danforth pulled it off, too. I do think Libbie was a little more fully developed than Merritt, Harper, and Audrey, but that also may have been because that trio could come across as a bit spoiled at times.

Probably my two biggest issues with this book (regretfully): for a Gothic horror novel, it's not really that scary. There are a few creepy and eerie moments, especially in the beginning, but it never really builds up to that terrifying moment that you're expecting. And, somewhat related, the ending. We read and stick with our various tales for the entire time and then... poof! Everything just fizzles out. I was so bummed. The ending was such a disappointment after all I'd read and kept this from being a full-fledged 4 or 4.5-star read. I couldn't believe it after what we'd been through. It was like even the author was tired.

So, overall, this is an original and fascinating read. I'm certainly still advising you to read it (especially if you're queer or enjoy reading queer fiction). Just be prepared that the ending may not have that big scary moment you're expecting. 3.5 stars.
  
The Death Of Stalin (2017)
The Death Of Stalin (2017)
2017 | Comedy
Death…. Torture…. Child Abuse…. LOL??
Armando Iannucci is most familiar to TV audiences on both sides of the pond for his cutting political satire of the likes of “Veep” and “The Thick of It”, with his only previous foray into directing movies being “In the Loop”: a spin-off of the latter series. Lovers of his work will know that he sails very close to the wind on many occasions, such that watching can be more of a squirm-fest than enjoyment.

Rupert Friend (centre) tries to deliver a eulogy to his father against winged opposition. With (from left to right) Michael Palin, Jeffrey Tambor, Steve Buscemi and Simon Russell Beale.

It should come as no surprise then that his new film – “The Death of Stalin” – follows that same pattern, but transposed into the anarchic and violent world of 1950’s Russia. Based on a French comic strip, the film tells the farcical goings on surrounding the last days of the great dictator in 1953. Stalin keeps distributing his “lists” of undesirables, most of who will meet unpleasant ends before the end of the night. But as Stalin suddenly shuffles off his mortal coil, the race is on among his fellow commissariat members as to who will ultimately succeed him.

Stalin…. Going… but not forgotten.

The constitution dictates that Georgy Malenkov (an excellently vacillating Jeffrey Tambor) secedes but, as a weak man, the job is clearly soon going to become vacant again and spy-chief Lavrentiy Beria (Simon Russell Beale) and Nikita Khrushchev (Steve Buscemi) are jostling for position. (No spoilers, but you’ll never guess who wins!). Colleagues including Molotov (Michael Palin) and Mikoyan (Paul Whitehouse) need to decide who to side with as the machinations around Stalin’s funeral become more and more desperate.
The film starts extremely strongly with the ever-excellent Paddy Considine (“Pride”) playing a Radio Russia producer tasked with recording a classical concert, featuring piano virtuoso Maria Yudina (Olga Kurylenko, “Quantum of Solace”). A definition of paranoia in action!

Great fingering. Olga Kurylenko as Yudina, with more than a hand in the way the evening’s events will unfold.

We then descend into the chaos of Stalin’s Russia, with mass torture and execution colouring the comedy from dark-grey to charcoal-black in turns. There is definitely comedy gold in there: Khrushchev’s translation of his drunken scribblings from the night before (of things that Stalin found funny and – more importantly – things he didn’t) being a high point for me. Stalin’s children Svetlana (Andrea Riseborough, “Nocturnal Animals”) and Vasily (Rupert Friend, “Homeland”) add knockabout humour to offset the darker elements, and army chief Georgy Zhukov (Jason Isaacs, “Harry Potter”) is a riot with a no-nonsense North-of-England accent.

Brass Eye: Jason Isaacs as the army chief from somewhere just north of Wigan.

Production values are universally excellent, with great locations, great sets and a screen populated with enough extras to make the crowd scenes all appear realistic.

Another broad Yorkshire accent: (the almost unknown) Adrian McLoughlin delivers an hysterical speaking voice as Stalin.

The film absolutely held my interest and was thorougly entertaining, but the comedy is just so dark in places it leaves you on edge throughout. The writing is also patchy at times, with some of the lines falling to the ground as heavily as the dispatched Gulag residents.
It’s not going to be for everyone, with significant violence and gruesome scenes, but go along with the black comic theme and this is a film that delivers rewards.
  
King Arthur: Legend Of The Sword (2017)
King Arthur: Legend Of The Sword (2017)
2017 | Action, Drama
The Arthurian legend: but with Cockneys.
So, bit difficult to describe this one… so I asked my bloke Alfie from Londinium to explain what’s it all about…
“‘Ere, OK bruv. So this is dun by that geezer Guy Ritchie – yer know, the one that dun that Sherlock Holmes with the Iron Man geezer Robert Junior Downey, that one. His new film is a rip-roarin’ acshun movie what retells da Arfurian legend in a novel new way.
That Hulk bloke Eric Bana is Arfur’s farfer an’ ‘e’s ‘avin’ a few problems wiv ‘is bruvver Vortigern (Jude Law, who’s a bi’ ov a cockney ‘imself, but ‘ere speaks like a posh bloke. Know what I mean?) So ‘e (Vortigern dat is) gets some magical ‘elp from some slippery watery bints in a puddle and so ‘is dad puts ‘is God Forbid in a boat an’ sends ‘im down da river ter The Smoke ter live wiv some prozzies.
But ‘e grows up big an’ strong an’ ‘andy wiv a sword. His friends tell ‘im ter get aaaht ov town as da King’s blokes are lookin’ fer da young geezer who would be king. An’ e says like “Scapa Flow sowf ov da river at dis time ov night. Are yew mad?”. So e gets caught like an’ gets tested by some famous football bloke ter pull a big sword aaaht ov just a random bi’ ov stone (nod, nod, wink wink, nice twist – ssshhh!).

The Vortigern bloke is very cross an’ tries to kill ‘im but ‘e gets rescued by some bird who can make birds, lol, an’ other fings do what she wants. So can Arfur beat ‘is uncle? Gawdon Bennet, I’m not gon’a tell yew da whole darn fing! Yer’ll ‘ave ter go an’ watch i’ ter find out.”
 Thanks Alfie. Couldn’t have said it better myself!

The quirky style of Guy Ritchie isn’t one that you would think would translate well to the Arthurian setting, and as the film starts you tend to think you were right! But if you give it a chance it wears you down into acceptance and then – ultimately – a lot of enjoyment.
Jude Law is deliciously evil mixed with a heavy dose of mad, and delivers the goods.

Charlie Hunnam who plays Arthur (no, I hadn’t heard of him either but he was in the “Lost City of Z”) does a decent job as the medieval hunk, although he seems at time to have taken voice coaching in ‘Olde-English’ from Russell Crowe, since the lad’s Geordie accent seems to wander from Cockney through central southern England to Liverpudlian at one point (definitely channelling a young John Lennon)! Relative newcomer, the Spanish actress Astrid Bergès-Frisbey is effectively weird as the mage.

Particularly noteworthy (no pun intended) is the superb action soundtrack by Daniel Pemberton (“Steve Jobs“, “The Man from U.N.C.L.E.“) which propels the action really well and contains some standout moments.
Also a standout in the technical categories is the editing by James Herbert, who did both of Downey Junior’s “Sherlock Holmes” films (in a similar style) and also “Edge of Tomorrow“. The style is typified with Arthur’s growth to manhood in the streets of London which is stylishly done.

I saw the film in 3D – not a particularly favourite format – but quite well done, although falls into the “trying too hard” category at times with lots of drifting embers… you know the sort.
It’s not bloody Shakespeare. It’s not even the bloody Arthurian legend as you know it. But it is bloody good fun if you let it in.