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The sprawling, lavish, action RPG (Beyond Oasis // The Story of Thor) is now available on mobile!...
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PLAY AS POPULAR LEGO® DC COMICS CHARACTERS! The LEGO® DC Super Heroes Chase game is for the all...
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Race at lightning speeds across seven classic zones as Sonic the Hedgehog. Run and spin through...
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LEGO® Star Wars™: The Complete Saga is available on iOS for the first time! ***Episode I Story...
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------------------------------------------------------ - As this application is very large, it will...
Gareth von Kallenbach (980 KP) rated Lightyear (2022) in Movies
Jun 13, 2022
The digital magicians at Pixar have returned with an origin story of one of their most famous characters. “Lightyear” opens with an explanation that Andy from “A Toy Story” was given a toy based on his favorite movie in 1995 and that this is the movie upon which the toy was based.
With that explanation out of the way, the film centers on a giant ship deep in space that encounters a planet and awakens Space Ranger Buzz Lightyear (Chris Evans) to investigate. Along with a fellow ranger and a recruit, Buzz scopes out the planet only to discover it is hostile and makes a hasty exit from the planet. Unfortunately, in doing so their ship is damaged and they are left stranded on the planet and forced to establish a colony.
Years later Buzz is about to undergo a test flight based on a new fuel that the colony hopes will replicate their previous source and will allow them to travel at the insane velocities needed to cover millions of light-years.
Things seem to go as planned until a critical failure and Buzz learns that his four-minute flight actually covered several years on the planet. Undaunted Buzz tries again and again and returns to find his friends aging, having children, and passing away with only his robotic cat Sox (Peter Sohn) to keep him connected to his past and assist him.
While this would make for an interesting enough film it is actually just the setup to the larger story which involves a hostile Robot army and an evil menace named Zurg who threatens Buzz and his hastily assembled team of volunteers to save the day.
The film has amazing animation and all the humor and charm that one associates with the best Pixar films and is not above giving the audience an emotional tug here and there along the way as I can remember more than a few Pixar films that caused audiences to tear up.
Since this is the first of the last three Pixar films to make a cinematic release it would be easy to say that it is a return to form for Disney/Pixar but I would say that is an understatement as the film mixes humor, action, and interesting characters to form a very enjoyable and engaging adventure which is one of the most satisfying Pixar films in recent memory and one every bit worthy of their name.
It will be interesting to see what the future holds for this crew as I would very much like to see Buzz and his crew return for new adventures soon as “Lightyear” is a new Pixar classic that the entire family will love.
4.5 stars out of 5
With that explanation out of the way, the film centers on a giant ship deep in space that encounters a planet and awakens Space Ranger Buzz Lightyear (Chris Evans) to investigate. Along with a fellow ranger and a recruit, Buzz scopes out the planet only to discover it is hostile and makes a hasty exit from the planet. Unfortunately, in doing so their ship is damaged and they are left stranded on the planet and forced to establish a colony.
Years later Buzz is about to undergo a test flight based on a new fuel that the colony hopes will replicate their previous source and will allow them to travel at the insane velocities needed to cover millions of light-years.
Things seem to go as planned until a critical failure and Buzz learns that his four-minute flight actually covered several years on the planet. Undaunted Buzz tries again and again and returns to find his friends aging, having children, and passing away with only his robotic cat Sox (Peter Sohn) to keep him connected to his past and assist him.
While this would make for an interesting enough film it is actually just the setup to the larger story which involves a hostile Robot army and an evil menace named Zurg who threatens Buzz and his hastily assembled team of volunteers to save the day.
The film has amazing animation and all the humor and charm that one associates with the best Pixar films and is not above giving the audience an emotional tug here and there along the way as I can remember more than a few Pixar films that caused audiences to tear up.
Since this is the first of the last three Pixar films to make a cinematic release it would be easy to say that it is a return to form for Disney/Pixar but I would say that is an understatement as the film mixes humor, action, and interesting characters to form a very enjoyable and engaging adventure which is one of the most satisfying Pixar films in recent memory and one every bit worthy of their name.
It will be interesting to see what the future holds for this crew as I would very much like to see Buzz and his crew return for new adventures soon as “Lightyear” is a new Pixar classic that the entire family will love.
4.5 stars out of 5
BankofMarquis (1832 KP) rated The Matrix Resurrections (2021) in Movies
Dec 31, 2021
Unnecessary
And now from the unnecessary sequels department…
And, that, pretty much sums up THE MATRIX RESURRECTIONS - a title that is a confession of a studio and creator that is looking to milk a few more bucks out of a dormant franchise.
Written and Directed by Lana Wachowski (one of the creators/directors of the original Matrix trilogy), MATRIX RESURRECTIONS drops us back into the Matrix that is the same, yet different, and - intriguingly enough - brings us back to Neo and Trinity, 2 characters that died in the 3rd film.
Of course, this being Science Fiction/Fantasy, no one needs to stay dead, if another story can be built around them.
Keanu Reeves and Carrie-Anne Moss are back as Neo & Trinity (this film would not have happened if they didn’t say yes to this) - and they are the best thing in this film. Their chemistry is strong and any film that can bring back Carrie-Anne Moss as a lead in a film, is okay by me.
The best newcomer in this film is Jonathan Groff as “Agent Smith” (Hugo Weaving was set to reprise his role, but had to drop out due to Theater Commitments). Groff channels his inner “King George” (the character that he was Tony Nominated for in the Stage Musical Hamilton) and it works well in this film.
As for the other “character/actors” - like the characters that Jada Pinkett-Smith (the only other returning actor from the original trilogy), Yahya Abdbul-Mateen II (playing a version of Morpheus), Thelma Hopkins, Jessica Henwick and…yes that IS Cristina Ricci - they are all pretty generic and serve as plot machinations to get us from one action set piece to another.
And, of course, there is Neil Patrick Harris as “THE ANALYST”, it’s an interesting, pivotal, role in this film and would have been better served being played by someone less “well known”. All I kept thinking as I watched this performance was - “it’s evil Neil Patrick Harris”!
As for the special effects/set pieces, they are “fine” but nothing “special”. The first Matrix film was a brilliant, groundbreaking and mind-bending piece of filmmaking that introduced cinema (for good or ill) to “bullet time” - a Special F/X that has been en vogue ever since. But this film is just a mismash of CGI that is neither brilliant nor groundbreaking and the dense mythology plot of this film is not “mind-bending”, it is more like “headache-inducing”.
Do yourself a favor and skip the Resurrection of The Matrix and, instead, check out the brilliant 1999 original - it holds up well (and is the subject of my January podcast).
Letter Grade: B- (thanks to Reeves, Moss and Groff)
6 Stars (out of 10) and you can take that to the Bank(ofMarquis)
And, that, pretty much sums up THE MATRIX RESURRECTIONS - a title that is a confession of a studio and creator that is looking to milk a few more bucks out of a dormant franchise.
Written and Directed by Lana Wachowski (one of the creators/directors of the original Matrix trilogy), MATRIX RESURRECTIONS drops us back into the Matrix that is the same, yet different, and - intriguingly enough - brings us back to Neo and Trinity, 2 characters that died in the 3rd film.
Of course, this being Science Fiction/Fantasy, no one needs to stay dead, if another story can be built around them.
Keanu Reeves and Carrie-Anne Moss are back as Neo & Trinity (this film would not have happened if they didn’t say yes to this) - and they are the best thing in this film. Their chemistry is strong and any film that can bring back Carrie-Anne Moss as a lead in a film, is okay by me.
The best newcomer in this film is Jonathan Groff as “Agent Smith” (Hugo Weaving was set to reprise his role, but had to drop out due to Theater Commitments). Groff channels his inner “King George” (the character that he was Tony Nominated for in the Stage Musical Hamilton) and it works well in this film.
As for the other “character/actors” - like the characters that Jada Pinkett-Smith (the only other returning actor from the original trilogy), Yahya Abdbul-Mateen II (playing a version of Morpheus), Thelma Hopkins, Jessica Henwick and…yes that IS Cristina Ricci - they are all pretty generic and serve as plot machinations to get us from one action set piece to another.
And, of course, there is Neil Patrick Harris as “THE ANALYST”, it’s an interesting, pivotal, role in this film and would have been better served being played by someone less “well known”. All I kept thinking as I watched this performance was - “it’s evil Neil Patrick Harris”!
As for the special effects/set pieces, they are “fine” but nothing “special”. The first Matrix film was a brilliant, groundbreaking and mind-bending piece of filmmaking that introduced cinema (for good or ill) to “bullet time” - a Special F/X that has been en vogue ever since. But this film is just a mismash of CGI that is neither brilliant nor groundbreaking and the dense mythology plot of this film is not “mind-bending”, it is more like “headache-inducing”.
Do yourself a favor and skip the Resurrection of The Matrix and, instead, check out the brilliant 1999 original - it holds up well (and is the subject of my January podcast).
Letter Grade: B- (thanks to Reeves, Moss and Groff)
6 Stars (out of 10) and you can take that to the Bank(ofMarquis)
okletmereviewit (4 KP) rated Kubo and the Two Strings (2016) in Movies
May 11, 2018
A great film for any family night
Contains spoilers, click to show
Kubo and the two strings is a heart warming, coming of age movie, for the whole family. Adults, you will appericate the story line and the plight that Kubo undergoes. Kids will love the animation and the characters. From the moment that the movie started, I fought back the tears. You see a mother and baby in the middle of the ocean one moment and the next, you see them ship wrecked on a beach. You skip forward a few years to when Kubo is about the age of ten. He is now a caregiver for his mother who you come to understand as mentally ill, with something like alzheimer's or dementia. Daily young Kubo goes into the neighboring village and tells fantastic stories of a Samurai Knight, and how he battles the evil Moon King and his army, all while playing his Sangen (a Japanese Guitar) and creating Origami creatures for the story. But as the bells ring for night to come forth, Kubo runs home.
It seems that his mother only "comes to life" when its night time. And then shortly there after returns to a catatonic state. One day while in the village an old beggar woman who befriended him tells him a story of how she speaks with her dead husband at night during a certain ritual. Kubo, who is confused and longing to know anything about his father who was said to be the greatest Samurai, goes to the ancestral resting place and tries to summon his father.
Time gets away from him and night befalls rather quickly. Soon two masked spectral spirits appear, and tell him that they are his aunts. Kubo is then told the reason he is missing an eye is due to his grandfather who only wanted to have his other eye so that he could join them in the heavens. Kubo begins running back to the village. The two spirits attack and destroy the village. When they are almost upon him, his mother shows up and uses the last of her magics to activate a totem and to create wings to whisk him away to safety, far away from his blood thirsty aunts. Kubo then wakes up in a vast frozen waste land with a monkey looking after him. The monkey begins to address Kubo, telling him that they need to go on this quest to find a magical suite of armor that his father once wore. So Kubo and Monkey set off on a quest. Kubo is awaken by the monkey, saying that the origami papers that he carried in his pack, were flying around and that in his sleep he created an origami Samurai. The same Samurai from his stories. This little paper guardian, shows them the way to the armor's pieces, which consist of a sword, a breast plate, and a helmet. Along the way they come across a Beetle who was once a Samurai who was cursed to live the rest of his life as a beetle. After that the unlikely foursome come across a cave that has the sword in it. But much like Kubos life, it was not an easy task to retrieve it as it awakened a tall skeleton warrior, which they had to defeat. They then come to a large body of water, which Kubo uses his magic and his Samgen to create a boat made out of leaves. Monkey exclaims to him how his power is growing. As they set sail, the little paper Samurai point out that the breast plate is at the bottom of the water. Kubo remembering a story that his mother told him, of eyes that show you what you want to see most, lived at the bottom of the water. Beetle offers to dive in and look for the breast plate as "beetles can hold their breaths for a really long time under water, and are great swimmers." After quite some time passes Kubo dives in after Beetle and the breast plate. Monkey is then attacked by one of the evil aunts. While Kubo is under the water he finds the breast plate, and the eyes. They show him that the Monkey is actually his mother in the form of a spirit totem (MIND BLOWN)...Becoming dazzled by the eyes, he begins to drowned. Beetle swoops in and begins shooting the eyes and rescues Kubo. During this time Monkey is battling one of the aunts and defeats her. Kubo and the gang then continue their quest to find the helmet, which is back at his fathers fort. Once back at the fort one of the aunts reveals to Kubo and to Monkey that Beetle is actually Kubos father. So Kubo now armed with this new knowledge is able to defeat his aunt, but not after losing both his parents again. Kubo then uses his magic, to fly back to his village to adorn the helmet to complete his suite of armor. He then has to battle his grandfather The Moon King. At which point The Moon King transforms into a giant centipede like demon. Kubo uses his wits, and magic, to defeat his grandfather and makes him mortal. In his mortal state he loses his memories, and the village people tell him how he was a just and honest man, and how he was kind. The story ends on an upswing.
Over all the movie was really good. I love how engaging it was, and all the attention to detail they provided in it since it was a stop motion claymation. I highly recommend this for any family night.
It seems that his mother only "comes to life" when its night time. And then shortly there after returns to a catatonic state. One day while in the village an old beggar woman who befriended him tells him a story of how she speaks with her dead husband at night during a certain ritual. Kubo, who is confused and longing to know anything about his father who was said to be the greatest Samurai, goes to the ancestral resting place and tries to summon his father.
Time gets away from him and night befalls rather quickly. Soon two masked spectral spirits appear, and tell him that they are his aunts. Kubo is then told the reason he is missing an eye is due to his grandfather who only wanted to have his other eye so that he could join them in the heavens. Kubo begins running back to the village. The two spirits attack and destroy the village. When they are almost upon him, his mother shows up and uses the last of her magics to activate a totem and to create wings to whisk him away to safety, far away from his blood thirsty aunts. Kubo then wakes up in a vast frozen waste land with a monkey looking after him. The monkey begins to address Kubo, telling him that they need to go on this quest to find a magical suite of armor that his father once wore. So Kubo and Monkey set off on a quest. Kubo is awaken by the monkey, saying that the origami papers that he carried in his pack, were flying around and that in his sleep he created an origami Samurai. The same Samurai from his stories. This little paper guardian, shows them the way to the armor's pieces, which consist of a sword, a breast plate, and a helmet. Along the way they come across a Beetle who was once a Samurai who was cursed to live the rest of his life as a beetle. After that the unlikely foursome come across a cave that has the sword in it. But much like Kubos life, it was not an easy task to retrieve it as it awakened a tall skeleton warrior, which they had to defeat. They then come to a large body of water, which Kubo uses his magic and his Samgen to create a boat made out of leaves. Monkey exclaims to him how his power is growing. As they set sail, the little paper Samurai point out that the breast plate is at the bottom of the water. Kubo remembering a story that his mother told him, of eyes that show you what you want to see most, lived at the bottom of the water. Beetle offers to dive in and look for the breast plate as "beetles can hold their breaths for a really long time under water, and are great swimmers." After quite some time passes Kubo dives in after Beetle and the breast plate. Monkey is then attacked by one of the evil aunts. While Kubo is under the water he finds the breast plate, and the eyes. They show him that the Monkey is actually his mother in the form of a spirit totem (MIND BLOWN)...Becoming dazzled by the eyes, he begins to drowned. Beetle swoops in and begins shooting the eyes and rescues Kubo. During this time Monkey is battling one of the aunts and defeats her. Kubo and the gang then continue their quest to find the helmet, which is back at his fathers fort. Once back at the fort one of the aunts reveals to Kubo and to Monkey that Beetle is actually Kubos father. So Kubo now armed with this new knowledge is able to defeat his aunt, but not after losing both his parents again. Kubo then uses his magic, to fly back to his village to adorn the helmet to complete his suite of armor. He then has to battle his grandfather The Moon King. At which point The Moon King transforms into a giant centipede like demon. Kubo uses his wits, and magic, to defeat his grandfather and makes him mortal. In his mortal state he loses his memories, and the village people tell him how he was a just and honest man, and how he was kind. The story ends on an upswing.
Over all the movie was really good. I love how engaging it was, and all the attention to detail they provided in it since it was a stop motion claymation. I highly recommend this for any family night.
Purple Phoenix Games (2266 KP) rated Legendary: A Marvel Deck Building Game in Tabletop Games
Sep 19, 2019
Teamwork makes the dream work! That’s how the saying goes, right? And in Legendary: A Marvel Deck Building Game, it is certainly the truth! When I say it’s a team-building game, I mean that both literally and figuratively – you must recruit heroes and work semi-cooperatively with your fellow gamers to defeat the evil Mastermind before they take over the city!
In an era where superheroes are the norm, the days of petty crime are over. As the protectors of our world have grown in power, so too have those who would see it fall to chaos. Out of the shadows comes a nefarious Mastermind who has engineered the most wicked evil scheme the world has ever seen. With an ever-growing band of followers and henchmen to carry out the plot, the future looks dismal. But do not fear – the supers are here! This job is way too big for only one single hero to handle, but if they all band together, then maybe, juuuust maybe, they might be able to pull it off…
DISCLAIMER: There are several expansions to this game, but we are not reviewing them at this time. Should we review them in the future we will either update this review or post a link to the new material here. -T
Set in the world of Marvel comics and, recently, the Marvel Cinematic Universe, Legendary: Marvel is a cooperative deck building game. Players take turns drafting and playing cards to recruit heroes to their team and to fight off the villains trying to carry out the sinister scheme. You have to strategize how you want to build your deck to best complete the mission – do you recruit heroes that give you special abilities (like drawing additional cards), or do you recruit strong heroes that give you lots of attack points? The choice is entirely up to you! Although all players are building their own individual decks, you must also devise a team strategy because all players either win or lose together as a team. That being said, there is a small competitive aspect to this game – the player with the most Victory Points (earned by defeating villains and rescuing bystanders) is deemed the most legendary hero of the game! Exactly how competitive the game gets is up to the players. I personally prefer a more cooperative approach and usually don’t tally up VPs at the end of the game – either the team won or we lost.
The beauty of this game is that it can be played with any combination of Marvel characters – you are not limited to only using specific teams. Selecting which heroes/villains/Mastermind/etc. to use is at the discretion of the players. Want Iron Man to team up with Deadpool and Wolverine to fight off Kingpin? Go for it! You have basically the entire Marvel universe from which to choose, so the sky is the limit! With so many options, though, it can be a little overwhelming, so I usually use a randomizer app to create a setup for me. Sometimes the setup itself will determine how the entire game will play out – certain combinations of Mastermind/villains/scheme can be BRUTAL to play and difficult to win. But the cool thing about this game is that you cannot just look at a setup and tell if it will be difficult or not – that realization only will come once you start playing!
I love playing this game because of its immense variability – the base game alone has 500 cards! The ability to choose your own heroes, villains, Masterminds, and Schemes means that you will probably never play the same game twice. And on top of that, Legendary: Marvel currently has like 19 expansions! The possibilities are truly endless, and that is the Holy Grail for me when it comes to gaming. I know that I will never get bored of this game because it is a different experience every game.
On the flip side, my main grievance with Legendary: Marvel is with the physical setup and teardown. Every play uses SO MANY cards that it does take a decent amount of time to get setup or put away. Every individual hero/villain/Mastermind/etc. must be sorted and stored separately, and with 500+ cards, that time adds up. When deciding on a game to play, sometimes I skip Legendary: Marvel because of the time it takes to set up. I LOVE to play it, but sometimes I do not feel like taking that much time to set up – I just want to play! My other grievance deals with certain hero superpowers/special card text. Some hero cards have special text, and the definitions are outlined in the rule book but not on the cards themselves. Until I learned/memorized what that special text meant, I was constantly referring back to the rule book nearly every turn to make sure I was using the cards correctly. There is a bit of a learning curve with some of the hero text, but it does get better the more you play!
Don’t let the simplicity of the mechanics fool you – this game requires more strategy than meets the eye! You must not only decide on a strategy for building your individual deck, but you and your teammates must also collectively choose a group strategy to defeat the Mastermind. Cooperation is key, and it really helps the theme of the game come to life. Definitely a winner for Purple Phoenix Games with a butt-kicking 24 / 24 and a well-earned Golden Feather Award!
In an era where superheroes are the norm, the days of petty crime are over. As the protectors of our world have grown in power, so too have those who would see it fall to chaos. Out of the shadows comes a nefarious Mastermind who has engineered the most wicked evil scheme the world has ever seen. With an ever-growing band of followers and henchmen to carry out the plot, the future looks dismal. But do not fear – the supers are here! This job is way too big for only one single hero to handle, but if they all band together, then maybe, juuuust maybe, they might be able to pull it off…
DISCLAIMER: There are several expansions to this game, but we are not reviewing them at this time. Should we review them in the future we will either update this review or post a link to the new material here. -T
Set in the world of Marvel comics and, recently, the Marvel Cinematic Universe, Legendary: Marvel is a cooperative deck building game. Players take turns drafting and playing cards to recruit heroes to their team and to fight off the villains trying to carry out the sinister scheme. You have to strategize how you want to build your deck to best complete the mission – do you recruit heroes that give you special abilities (like drawing additional cards), or do you recruit strong heroes that give you lots of attack points? The choice is entirely up to you! Although all players are building their own individual decks, you must also devise a team strategy because all players either win or lose together as a team. That being said, there is a small competitive aspect to this game – the player with the most Victory Points (earned by defeating villains and rescuing bystanders) is deemed the most legendary hero of the game! Exactly how competitive the game gets is up to the players. I personally prefer a more cooperative approach and usually don’t tally up VPs at the end of the game – either the team won or we lost.
The beauty of this game is that it can be played with any combination of Marvel characters – you are not limited to only using specific teams. Selecting which heroes/villains/Mastermind/etc. to use is at the discretion of the players. Want Iron Man to team up with Deadpool and Wolverine to fight off Kingpin? Go for it! You have basically the entire Marvel universe from which to choose, so the sky is the limit! With so many options, though, it can be a little overwhelming, so I usually use a randomizer app to create a setup for me. Sometimes the setup itself will determine how the entire game will play out – certain combinations of Mastermind/villains/scheme can be BRUTAL to play and difficult to win. But the cool thing about this game is that you cannot just look at a setup and tell if it will be difficult or not – that realization only will come once you start playing!
I love playing this game because of its immense variability – the base game alone has 500 cards! The ability to choose your own heroes, villains, Masterminds, and Schemes means that you will probably never play the same game twice. And on top of that, Legendary: Marvel currently has like 19 expansions! The possibilities are truly endless, and that is the Holy Grail for me when it comes to gaming. I know that I will never get bored of this game because it is a different experience every game.
On the flip side, my main grievance with Legendary: Marvel is with the physical setup and teardown. Every play uses SO MANY cards that it does take a decent amount of time to get setup or put away. Every individual hero/villain/Mastermind/etc. must be sorted and stored separately, and with 500+ cards, that time adds up. When deciding on a game to play, sometimes I skip Legendary: Marvel because of the time it takes to set up. I LOVE to play it, but sometimes I do not feel like taking that much time to set up – I just want to play! My other grievance deals with certain hero superpowers/special card text. Some hero cards have special text, and the definitions are outlined in the rule book but not on the cards themselves. Until I learned/memorized what that special text meant, I was constantly referring back to the rule book nearly every turn to make sure I was using the cards correctly. There is a bit of a learning curve with some of the hero text, but it does get better the more you play!
Don’t let the simplicity of the mechanics fool you – this game requires more strategy than meets the eye! You must not only decide on a strategy for building your individual deck, but you and your teammates must also collectively choose a group strategy to defeat the Mastermind. Cooperation is key, and it really helps the theme of the game come to life. Definitely a winner for Purple Phoenix Games with a butt-kicking 24 / 24 and a well-earned Golden Feather Award!
Chris Sawin (602 KP) rated Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2022) in Movies
Feb 19, 2022 (Updated Feb 19, 2022)
Wasted backstories that go nowhere. (3 more)
Rehashes and recreates the original film while not offering much of its own material.
New characters fall flat.
Feels like a half-cocked attempt at a new "film. "
Tearing the Face Off of a Horror Franchise
Texas Chainsaw Massacre is a direct sequel to the original 1974 film nearly 50 years later. Directed by David Blue Garcia with a screenplay by Chris Thomas Devlin and a story by Fede Alvarez (co-writer and director of the 2013 Evil Dead remake) and Rodo Sayagues (Don’t Breathe 1 & 2), Texas Chainsaw Massacre follows a group of young 20-somethings as they venture from Austin to Harlow, TX; a seven hour drive.
Dante (Jacob Latimore, Detroit) and Melody (Sarah Yarkin, Happy Death Day 2U) are business partners with somewhat of an impressive internet following. Dante is a chef who is looking to expand and Harlow is just the type of remote town to do it in. Melody’s teenage sister Lila (Elsie Fisher, Eighth Grade) and Dante’s fiancé Ruth (Nell Hudson) have tagged along mostly for emotional support.
With bank investors on the way to scout the location, the young foursome discovers a dilapidated orphanage with an old woman (Alice Krige, Gretel & Hansel) still living inside along with the last of what she refers to as, “her boys.” Dante and his friends awaken the mostly dormant monster known as Leatherface. Sally Hardesty (Olwen Fouéré) has been searching for Leatherface since he killed her friends all those years ago and now she can finally have the vengeful closure that she deserves.
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre franchise is mostly trash. Leatherface has gotten the manure treatment outside of the original film, the 2003 remake, and maybe the 1986 sequel. The timeline is as messy and inconsistent as Halloween as whatever takes place behind the scenes between sequels, remakes, and reboots all seems to result in lackluster or sometimes atrocious outings for one of the most recognizable horror movie icons.
This new film can’t seem to decide what it wants to be. Sally is brought back for a half-hearted cameo as she does nothing but wear a cowboy hat, stare at a picture, cock a shotgun, and gut a pig. She’s meant to be the connection between this film and the original and it just doesn’t work. Texas Chainsaw Massacre also just seems to lift aspects from the original film as well as other non-genre films without ever offering its audience anything original or actually worthwhile.
The ending is basically lifted directly from the original as is the aspect of a group of young people running into trouble on a road trip far away from home. It’s young, city outsiders versus born-and-bred country veterans. The film also has a weird amount of homage to Terminator 2 (Melody’s leg wound and the shotgun blasts to Leatherface by the water being similar to Sarah Connor’s showdown with the T-1000 near the end of T2). It also feels like it’s trying to capitalize on the success Halloween has had since it follows a similar format (making a direct sequel to the original film decades later).
On the bright side, the kills and the gore are mostly satisfying. The wrist breaking scene followed by being stabbed in the neck with the broken bone is gnarly. There’s a brutal head smashing scene with a hammer and the bus sequence is essentially horror movie fan heaven even if the setup and dialogue in said sequence is awful. The swinging door kill feels like it could have been better than it was since it covers up more than it reveals. You can either leave the brutality to the audience’s imagination or show everything in its nasty and gruesome glory; trying to do both in the same sequence just results in disappointment.
You can make the argument that you watch a film like this for the gore and not the story anyway, but that isn’t the point. When there’s this much of a wait between new entries fans deserve better. The frustrating aspect is that Fede Alvarez and Rodo Sayagues are capable of providing a worthwhile story along with the blood and guts because they gave it to us with Evil Dead. There’s nothing here worth the nine year gap between this and the last Texas Chainsaw film (Texas Chainsaw 3D) or the five year gap between this and Leatherface. When it’s not recycling gags from the original film or borrowing from other franchises, it’s just young people being dumb for the sake of a cheap scare or kill.
Texas Chainsaw Massacre isn’t as unwatchable as some reviews are making it out to be, but it’s not a good film by any stretch of the imagination. It’s barely 80-minutes long, so it has a relatively quick pace and the kills are solid. But the story is seriously lacking as there are elements that literally go nowhere; Lila’s backstory about why she’s so quiet doesn’t add much of anything other than a reason for her to never leave a padded cell when and if a sequel to this is ever made.
The problem now is that the successful film formula revolves around nostalgia, rehashing familiar sequences and storylines, and bringing back survivors for one final confrontation. This has all proven to crush the box office, especially during the pandemic. This results in there being no originality or creativity anymore; it’s just a repetition of what we’ve already seen. Until Leatherface can get a fresh face to wear, the Texas Chainsaw Massacre franchise is doomed to run in circles with a sputtering chainsaw on a mostly deserted road no one wants to travel down.
Dante (Jacob Latimore, Detroit) and Melody (Sarah Yarkin, Happy Death Day 2U) are business partners with somewhat of an impressive internet following. Dante is a chef who is looking to expand and Harlow is just the type of remote town to do it in. Melody’s teenage sister Lila (Elsie Fisher, Eighth Grade) and Dante’s fiancé Ruth (Nell Hudson) have tagged along mostly for emotional support.
With bank investors on the way to scout the location, the young foursome discovers a dilapidated orphanage with an old woman (Alice Krige, Gretel & Hansel) still living inside along with the last of what she refers to as, “her boys.” Dante and his friends awaken the mostly dormant monster known as Leatherface. Sally Hardesty (Olwen Fouéré) has been searching for Leatherface since he killed her friends all those years ago and now she can finally have the vengeful closure that she deserves.
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre franchise is mostly trash. Leatherface has gotten the manure treatment outside of the original film, the 2003 remake, and maybe the 1986 sequel. The timeline is as messy and inconsistent as Halloween as whatever takes place behind the scenes between sequels, remakes, and reboots all seems to result in lackluster or sometimes atrocious outings for one of the most recognizable horror movie icons.
This new film can’t seem to decide what it wants to be. Sally is brought back for a half-hearted cameo as she does nothing but wear a cowboy hat, stare at a picture, cock a shotgun, and gut a pig. She’s meant to be the connection between this film and the original and it just doesn’t work. Texas Chainsaw Massacre also just seems to lift aspects from the original film as well as other non-genre films without ever offering its audience anything original or actually worthwhile.
The ending is basically lifted directly from the original as is the aspect of a group of young people running into trouble on a road trip far away from home. It’s young, city outsiders versus born-and-bred country veterans. The film also has a weird amount of homage to Terminator 2 (Melody’s leg wound and the shotgun blasts to Leatherface by the water being similar to Sarah Connor’s showdown with the T-1000 near the end of T2). It also feels like it’s trying to capitalize on the success Halloween has had since it follows a similar format (making a direct sequel to the original film decades later).
On the bright side, the kills and the gore are mostly satisfying. The wrist breaking scene followed by being stabbed in the neck with the broken bone is gnarly. There’s a brutal head smashing scene with a hammer and the bus sequence is essentially horror movie fan heaven even if the setup and dialogue in said sequence is awful. The swinging door kill feels like it could have been better than it was since it covers up more than it reveals. You can either leave the brutality to the audience’s imagination or show everything in its nasty and gruesome glory; trying to do both in the same sequence just results in disappointment.
You can make the argument that you watch a film like this for the gore and not the story anyway, but that isn’t the point. When there’s this much of a wait between new entries fans deserve better. The frustrating aspect is that Fede Alvarez and Rodo Sayagues are capable of providing a worthwhile story along with the blood and guts because they gave it to us with Evil Dead. There’s nothing here worth the nine year gap between this and the last Texas Chainsaw film (Texas Chainsaw 3D) or the five year gap between this and Leatherface. When it’s not recycling gags from the original film or borrowing from other franchises, it’s just young people being dumb for the sake of a cheap scare or kill.
Texas Chainsaw Massacre isn’t as unwatchable as some reviews are making it out to be, but it’s not a good film by any stretch of the imagination. It’s barely 80-minutes long, so it has a relatively quick pace and the kills are solid. But the story is seriously lacking as there are elements that literally go nowhere; Lila’s backstory about why she’s so quiet doesn’t add much of anything other than a reason for her to never leave a padded cell when and if a sequel to this is ever made.
The problem now is that the successful film formula revolves around nostalgia, rehashing familiar sequences and storylines, and bringing back survivors for one final confrontation. This has all proven to crush the box office, especially during the pandemic. This results in there being no originality or creativity anymore; it’s just a repetition of what we’ve already seen. Until Leatherface can get a fresh face to wear, the Texas Chainsaw Massacre franchise is doomed to run in circles with a sputtering chainsaw on a mostly deserted road no one wants to travel down.