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Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (2016)
Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (2016)
2016 | Fantasy
Marvelous Cash Cows and How to Milk Them.
As just about everyone in the whole muggle world (or nomaj world if you’re reading this in the States) knows, FBaWtFT is the first of a five film spin-off series from the Potter franchise, still under the careful stewardship of David Yates. (And if the other films in the series were ‘amber-lit’ rather than ‘green-lit’, their production now seems assured after the US opening weekend alone has brought in nearly half its $180 million budget).
Set in New York in the mid-1920’s Eddie Redmayne (“The Danish Girl”; “The Theory of Everything”) plays Newt Scamander, a Brit newly arrived with a case full of trouble. Newt is a bit like an amiable and ditsy David Attenborough, with a strong desire to protect and establish breeding colonies for endangered species. It’s fair to say though that these are creatures that even Sir David hasn’t yet filmed.

Within the battered old case (a forerunner of Hermione Grainger’s bag, which was probably borrowed from Mary Poppins), Newt stores a menagerie of strange and wonderful creatures which – after a bump and a mishap – get released by wannabe baker and muggle Jacob Kowalski (Dan Fogler, “Fanboys”). Newt has the job of rounding up the strays with the help of Tina (Katherine Waterston, “Steve Jobs”), an out of favour member of the Magical Congress of the USA (MACUSA). Unfortunately this couldn’t be happening at a worse time: something else – nothing to do with Newt – is wreaking havoc across New York and MACUSA is on red alert suspecting the involvement of a dark wizard, Gellert Grindelwald, following attacks in Europe. And keeping the secrets of wizardry from the NoMaj population is getting increasingly difficult, especially with the efforts of the “Second Salemers” movement run by Mary Lou (Samantha Morton, “Minority Report”) and her strange adopted family.

This film will obviously be an enormous success given the love of all things Potter, but is it any good? Well, its different for sure, being set many years before Potter and only having glancing references to Hogwarts and related matters. And that gives the opportunity to start afresh with new characters and new relationships which is refreshing. It’s all perfectly amiable, with Redmayne’s slightly embarrassed lack of eye-contact* in delivering his lines being charming. [* Is this perhaps the second leading character in a month that is high on the autistic spectrum?] . Redmayne does have a tendency to mutter though and (particularly with the sound system for the cinema I saw this in) this made a lot of his dialogue inaudible. Waterston makes for a charming if somewhat insipid heroine, not being given an awful lot to do in the action sequences.

Kowalski adds a humorous balance to the mixture, but the star comic turns are some of the creatures, especially the Niffler… a light fingered magpie-like creature with a voluminous pouch and expensive tastes!

In the ‘I-almost-know-who-that-is-behind-the-make-up-but-can’t-quite-place-him’ role is Ron “Hellboy” Perlman as the untrustworthy gangster Gnarlack. And in another cameo – and probably paid an enormous fee for his 30 seconds of screen time – is Johnny Depp, which was money well-wasted since, like most of his roles, he was completely unrecognisable (I only knew it was him from checking imdb afterwards).

At the pen is J.K.Rowling herself, and there are a few corking lines in the script. However, in common with many of her novels, there is also a tendency for extrapolation and padding. Some judicial editing could have knocked at least twenty minutes off its child-unfriendly 133 minute running time and made a better film. Undoubtedly the first half of the film is better than the second, with the finale slouching into – as my other half put it – “superhero” territory with much CGI destruction and smashing of glass. What is perhaps most surprising about the story is that there are few obvious set-ups for the next film.

Quirky and original, its a film that will no-doubt please Potter fans and it stands as a decent fantasy film in its own right. It’s difficult though to get the smell of big business and exploitation out of your nostrils: no doubt stockings throughout the world will be full of plush toy nifflers this Christmas.
  
Exodus: An Interstellar Pathways Adventure
Exodus: An Interstellar Pathways Adventure
2021 | Adventure, Card Game, Science Fiction, Space
We ALL loved those “Adventure Books That Let You Choose Your Own Path” when growing up. At least I THINK we all loved them. But what would happen if the same premise was applied to a card game and set in the same universe as another game from the same designer and publisher? Well let me introduce you to Exodus.

Exodus is a “choose thine own pathway” card game for one to five players. In it, players will be reading sections of a story that unfolds across several oversized cards in the hopes of settling down on some other planet not being torn apart by galactic war. Sound familiar?

DISCLAIMER: We were provided a copy of this game for the purposes of this review. These are preview copy components (I think), and I do not know for sure if the final components will be any different from these shown. Also, it is not my intention to detail every rule in the game, as there are just too many. You are invited to download the rulebook or purchase the game from the publisher directly. -T


Setup is super simple with this one. Yank out the cards from the box (and make sure they are numerically ordered), place them in a stack on the table, and also place out the stack of Inventory cards. The main Exodus cards are numbered 1-121 and there are 12 Inventory cards. Determine the first reader and the game may begin!
There really are not any “rules,” aside from reading the new card/scenario and choosing the card to jump to in order to continue the story. Or die, as I happen to do quite often. DARN YOU, CARD 13!! Players may decide to follow one path, or players may even split up and follow their own stories. The rules state that stories may have players rejoining each other on future cards, but I have yet to experience that before death.


The game continues with players reading cards, collecting Inventory items that are necessary for certain future choices, and attempting to tell a great story. Exodus could take five minutes, or even up to 60 minutes if the players make good choices. Players decide when to finish, and are even allowed to respawn after death or even retrace their steps in order to choose alternate endings to their stories.
Components. Again, we were provided with a prototype copy of the game. That said, Exodus is a box full of big tarot cards depicting excellent artwork and lots of text to be read. This certainly is not a game for budding readers (like my 5-year-old), but for players who enjoy a nice night reading an interesting sci-fi story.

I have a hard time deciding if I consider this a game or not. There are definitely choices to be made, akin to those made in the inspiration sourcebooks. However, I really feel this is more an activity that is set in the Xenohunters universe that may setup lore and be a jump-off to other games in the family. This is not at all a knock on the game, as having fleshed out lore for a game universe is necessary for a series containing several titles. You know, a game or not a game, I enjoyed playing through this one and discovering little secrets about the lore of the Xenohunters universe.

Though this isn’t a complex game at all, the choices made are sometimes quite difficult and could result in game-end conditions. I have definitely had games last five minutes before I died, but I have also had a couple that have lasted a lot longer as I try to find optimal choices and even backtracked a choice or two. I think I would suggest gamers play through this one a few times before attempting the Xenohunters game, if just for the backstories and lore alone. Want to grab a copy for yourself? Check out the Half-Monster Games store listing for Exodus. I also recommend grabbing both Xenohunters and Trust Me, I’m A Superhero. They are both great!
  
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
J.K. Rowling | 2016 | Children
10
9.0 (247 Ratings)
Book Rating
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#1 <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/3217515684">Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone</a> - ★★★★★
#2 <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/2371215543">Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets</a> - ★★★★★
#3 <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/3275165909">Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban</a> - ★★★★
#4 <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/3328396363">Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire</a> - ★★★★★

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<b>Diving into the Harry Potter universe is a treat to my soul every time.</b>

There is something so familiar and comfortable to this world, especially Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, that always pulls me back to where it all started. 

Since there is a lot of drama going on with the author at the moment, I want to say just this. While I do not agree with some of the author’s statements, her work meant a lot to me throughout my years, and I have chosen to draw a line between her personal life and her work. You may have a different opinion, and that is valid too. 

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire by J.K. Rowling is one of my favorite books from the series. The year is filled with the Quidditch World Cup, the Triwizard Tournament, the fight for elves’ freedom, the beginning of the rising of evil and the terrible destiny of Cedric Diggory. 

Harry has a weird dream about Voldemort at the beginning of the book. He lets Sirius Black know in a letter. Then, he and his friends, as well as the whole Weasley family attend the Quidditch World Cup, where there is an incident with Harry’s wand - that will start this book in a very dark way.

As the new school year of Hogwarts begins, Dumbledore has an exciting announcement to make. Hogwarts will be hosting the Triwizard tournament this year!

<b><i>“The Triwizard Tournament was first established some seven hundred years ago, as a friendly competition between the three largest European schools of wizardry - Hogwarts, Beauxbatons and Durmstrang. A champion was selected to represent each school, and the three champions competed in three magical tasks. The schools took it in turns to host the Tournament once every five years, and it was generally agreed to be a most excellent way of establishing ties between young witches and wizards of different nationalities - until, that is, the death toll mounted so high that the Tournament was discontinued.”</i></b>

When the Goblet of Fire selects the three champions for each house, everyone is ready to move on. Viktor Krum, from Durmstrang, was selected first, followed by Fleur Delacour of Beauxbatons. The Goblet selected Cedric Diggory as the Hogwarts Champion.

But then, the Goblet spits out one more name - Harry Potter!

But how is that possible, when Harry hasn’t put his name in?

<b><i>“Did you put your name into the Goblet of Fire, Harry?” Dumbledore asked calmly. </i></b>

Careful of the fact that someone wants Harry to be in danger, he still needs to compete in the three tasks of the tournament. I loved all three tasks and how smart some wizards had to be to overcome their challenges.

I also really loved the Yule Ball, and the atmosphere it had. Everyone seemed happier and forgot their worries for the evening. Things were calming down before the real storm began. 

The part I loved the most, which wasn’t included in the movies, was Harmione’s fight for the rights of the elves. She fought that they deserved to be free and be paid for their work, not be slaves to witches and wizards. On top of all this, what I loved most was Dobby’s story in this whole situation.

<b>Also, did you know this?</b>

Hermione’s name is pronounced “Her-my-oh-nee”. I have somehow always known this at the back of my mind, but because it’s pronounced as “Her-my-nee” in the movies, I have been saying it like that for a very long time. 

<b><i>“If you want to know what a man’s like, take a good look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals.”</i></b>

Still a favourite and still amazing. After all this time? Always! 

<b><i>“Understanding is the first step to acceptance, and only with acceptance can there be recovery.”</i></b>

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Knives Out (2019)
Knives Out (2019)
2019 | Comedy, Crime, Drama
Murder mystery films tend to be more fun in theory and anticipation than they are to watch. It’s a genre that I very much enjoy and have indulged in over the years. Yet, if I look back in detail at it, I find that it is the books, especially those of Agatha Christie, that I like much more than anything lasting a couple of hours on the screen. There’s something about the mystery being rushed and squeezed into the cinema artform that is usually anti-climactic or even a full on let down.

Perhaps my favourite of the entire genre is a film that refuses to take itself seriously and is at once a pastiche of the multiple cliches that have accumulated over the years. And that film is, of course, the wonderfully camp, funny and charming 1985 romp Clue, starring Tim Curry and a slough of 80s B stars having the time of their lives. It isn’t a “good” film, it is a cult film, it’s joy being in its absolute lack of pretension or moral judgement. Like the board game that inspired it, it isn’t overly complicated or long, but has just enough cleverness, mirth and ambiance about it to always be a winner.

Rian Johnson’s take on the genre, Knives Out, is aware of these elements at all times, being above all things colourful, playful, arch and glib, but never convoluted or cerebral in an alienating way. He is something of a master at subverting a genre and wringing new life into it; take the invention of the teen noir in Brick, or the blend of assassin time travel sci-fi in Looper. He even gave an entire franchise a new breath of life by re-examining the use of humour and self referencing in Star Wars: The Last Jedi.

All of those previous films have as many detractors as mega fans, proving his style is devisive, for its audacity and its irreverence towards any idea of purism within an established model. And Knives Out is no exception to that. However, it may be the film of his that most people can agree on that they enjoyed, for one reason or another. I think it’s as interesting to ask why that is as it is to talk about the film itself… so, I will. At least, I’ll try to do both without losing my train of thought.

Firstly, it looks stunning; the palate of rich colours used in the poster and all marketing just make it look like something you want to immerse yourself in – every jacket, tie, dress, or piece of furniture is designed to precision, and it works like a dream of the genre you may have once had, as if it had been plucked directly from your subconscious. As in all good murder mysteries, the location, props and costumes should hold as much character as the actors, and the stately home of the Thrombey family certainly provides plenty of atmosphere in every texture and material on display.

Of course, the cast of characters is wonderfully put together with some inspired casting of familiar faces and actors you trust, such as Toni Collette and Michael Shannon, together with a few we don’t see enough of these days, such as Jamie Lee Curtis and Don Johnson, who both manage to create something as memorable as anything they did in their golden days. Add to the mix two bone fide action film superstars in Daniel Craig and Chris Evans, who leave the baggage of their most famous characters far behind and manage to convince you they are real actors again, the former with the aide of a jarring but hilarious Southern drawl, that grates at first but is a perfect choice on reflection.

Then there are the two lynchpins of this film’s ultimate success and joy: the exceptional legendary gravitas of 90 year old Christopher Plummer as the patriarch and victim at the centre of the intrigue, and the quite glorious revelation of Ana de Armas, whose charisma, beauty and skill in this delicately balanced role was the most impressive thing for me about the whole production. It may be Craig who is the ever present focus, as the detective tasked with solving the “crime”, but it is de Armas that you will remember most long after the credits roll.

As for the plot, well… I obviously can’t talk about it without ruining the whole thing. But, I can say that it isn’t far into the intricate web of motives, alibis and secrets before you start to sense this is going somewhere different, even unique. The examination of the relationships and personalities, and the extent to which they each demonstrate greed and selfishness is fascinating, superceding the crime that exists on the surface with a swamp of far seedier and unpleasant goings-on. Craig’s suave Benoit Blanc isn’t so much a detective here as a family therapist, or perhaps a supernatural presence in the style of the old classic, An Inspector Calls. Perhaps, it is suggested, no one completely escapes guilt and shame here… or do they? Are we looking for a murderer, or the only morally good person amidst a pack of dogs?

Another key element is how modern and unstuffy it feels, despite the country house and riches this is no play of manners, quite the opposite – no one here is on their best behaviour for the sake of decorum, and being upper class is an idea played with rather than enforced. The tea and cakes of the classic Christie, such as Murder on the Orient Express is replaced by smartphones and similar trappings, that identify it as definitely 2019 and no period piece. The concerns and themes are very much rooted in our present problems, and for that it engages and resonates in ways a costume drama just can’t do.

Upon finishing it for the first time, you may be thinking “sure, OK, I enjoyed that… but I’m not blown away here”. Then, as it sinks in over coming weeks, you find yourself recommending it to people, and thinking about how good it is in ways you didn’t initially think about. And that is surely why it was so embraced by the critics and paying public alike; it is a likeable, fun film, that can also stand some artistic scrutiny. It isn’t the smartest, or prettiest, or most meaningful film ever made, but it is enough of all three to make it an instant mini-classic, in my opinion.

I feel like there is maybe more to say about it, which is always a good sign, but that will do for now. I’d be happy to discuss it with anyone that feels the need. Or hear from anyone that didn’t like it! It would be interesting to hear that side of it, because I haven’t heard many negative comments on it at all. I don’t think I would defend it as a masterpiece to the end of the Earth, ‘cos it ain’t that good. I’m just hard pressed to find a serious fault. And it’s great when one of those sneaks up on you!
  
The Language Of Thorns
The Language Of Thorns
Leigh Bardugo, Sara Kipin | 2017 | Fiction & Poetry
8
8.7 (15 Ratings)
Book Rating
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<b>3.8 ★, to be exact. </b>

Sometimes, we enter a library, not really knowing what we are looking for. One day, I entered the library, only to return a few books. Instead, I returned with two more. The first one didn’t impress me, but the second one was this book – The Language of Thorns by Leigh Bardugo. I only picked it up, because I liked the cover. And I know, we shouldn’t judge a book by its cover, but I guess the magic worked on me this time around.

This book featured six stories, all six magical and beautiful in their own way. Some attracted me more, some a bit less, but I, overall, feel delighted to have read this book. I haven’t read Leigh’s previous books, so I didn’t know about this world before, but these are apparently the same woods featured in those books as well.

I will give a brief opinion on all stories, and the main rating will be the average from them all. Let’s go.

<b><i>1. Ayama and the Thorn Wood – ★★★★★</i></b>

<b>‘’Interesting things only happen to pretty girls.’’</b>

A beautiful tale that will show you how beauty comes from within. The King and Queen have two sons – one is a beautiful man, the future king, and the other one is a monster. They are scared and ashamed of the monster-boy, and let him live his life in the labyrinth they made for him. In the village, in a poor family, there are two daughters, one as beautiful as the sun, and the other one ugly. When the monster escapes the labyrinth and starts ruining fields and make disasters, everyone is scared to go and talk to him and beg for forgiveness, so the ugly lady is sent to her woods – quite certain she will never return…

<b>‘’This little prince was shaped a bit like a boy but more like a wolf, his body covered in slick black fur from crown to clawed foot. His eyes were red as blood, and the nubs of two budding horns protruded from his head.’’</b>

<b><i>2. The Too-Clever Fox – ★★★★★</i></b>

<b>‘’Freedom is a burden, but you will learn to bear it.’’</b>

I loved this story the most, out of all six of them. It reminded me of home, and of how we tell stories back there. The whole ‘’Once Upon a Time’’ is real, and I enjoyed every moment of it. The winter theme, the hunting, the girl and the fox. This is a story that will teach you to not be assured you can outsmart everyone. Foxes in stories have always been presented as the smart ones, outsmarting every animal in the woods. This reminds me of Aesop’s Tales, which I really loved as a little girl. But sometimes, you will get outsmarted, and it might cost you your life. The twist was definitely unexpected, but indeed satisfying.

<b><i>3. The Witch of Duva – ★★★</i></b>

A story where girls disappear, and one girl decides to go into the woods and try to figure out why. This story upset me, and I didn’t like it. But deep inside, it’s a good one. Very creepy though, and very horror-y, but worth reading. Turn the lights off, get under a blanket, turn your torch on, and only then you will be ready to know the deep secrets this story tells you.

<b><i>4. Little Knife – ★★★★</i></b>

The shortest story in the book, but by all means not the least intriguing. A story that features a woman that is too beautiful, that men lose their mind as soon as they see her. To get the chance to marry her, men will have to go through a various of tasks. The twist at the end is incredible, and I really liked it. It starts off as a usual story, but it goes wild.

<b><i>5. The Soldier Prince – ★★</i></b>

This was a story I enjoyed the least. It all screamed ‘’The Nutcracker’’ to me, and I couldn’t see it as original. It was a re-make, and it was very different that the story we know, but it just didn’t work for me. This is a story about a man who makes toys and gives them life. And when one toy sort of ‘’wakes up’’, interesting things start to happen. Quite a creepy story. I usually like those, but this one was not my cup of tea.

<b><i>6. When Water Sand Fire – ★★★★</i></b>

<b>‘’ We were not made to please princes.’’</b>

This one is the longest story in the book. It features a world of creatures living underwater, and Ulla, who can sing and create magic, but who, as the people believe, is not a true born, but a mix between the underwater world and the humans. She is asked to help the prince become a king, but when the magic price is too high to paid, it doesn’t seem like she has a choice. I truly enjoyed this story, as it’s a beautiful mix of emotions while you read it. It was a bit disappointing that it seems as a remake of the creation of the character of Ursula from The Little Mermaid, at least to me.

Have you read this book, or any of Leigh Bardugo’s books? Let me know in the comments, I love to chat with you!

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40x40

Kirk Bage (1775 KP) rated The Umbrella Academy in TV

Sep 19, 2020 (Updated Jan 22, 2021)  
The Umbrella Academy
The Umbrella Academy
2018 | Action, Fantasy
I came to this gloriously colourful, energetic and super smart comic book adaptation in August (when Netflix advertised season 2), at a time of lockdown where I really needed something cheerful and fun to keep me going. It worked so well I watched both full seasons twice over, back to back, and key episodes 3 times! A rare thing indeed for me and a TV show.

Since then the rigours of isolation have set me back with a really long backlog for The Wasteland – currently I have a list of over 40 cultural artifacts I want to talk about and share with you- but, I am very glad to be talking about this one today, as even though it wasn’t that long ago, it evokes such fond happy memories of becoming just a little bit obsessed by something. A phenomenon that only seems to happen when you go into something with low to medium expectations and come out feeling like you have found a diamond in the rough.

The concept of 7 children with mysterious powers being adopted and raised by a shady and strict, umbrella wielding, father has been around a few years in the form of several graphic novels, penned by My Chemical Romance frontman Gerard Way. You can feel the vibe of something slightly emo and arty coming through – just cool enough but also self conscious; melancholy and dark in places but also lots of sardonic fun. But, unlike the books, which often look stark and minimal, the world created by show runner and director Steve Blackman is vivid and full to the brim with things to overwhelm the senses.

For the last few years, and especially of late, the Superhero genre has been so oversaturated that it is almost impossible to come up with anything original, but The Umbrella Academy together with Amazon’s The Boys, definitely manage to do that. It has enough mystique to be intriguingly confusing for the first few episodes, as we piece together the Hargreaves’ past that has led to the current situation, and discover the dynamic tension that exists between the adopted siblings. Oh, and there is a talking chimpanzee butler / guardian called Pogo, that feels like CGI gimmickery for a while, before growing into something truly wonderful.

The first thing you notice about this set of misfits, as they reassemble for their father’s funeral after years of bitterness and estrangement, is that they are all a little bit broken and uncomfortable in their own skins – their powers as individuals are all a bit, well frankly underwhelming, and their personalities are not exactly attractive in every case. Season one is all about re-establishing connections and working through identity crises. In many ways it is a coming of age story, as circumstances lead to them needing to grow up fast and join together to achieve true power. It works both on the surface and as a deeper allegory.

As each main character is introduced you inevitably get drawn into ranking them from most to least favourite, and the trick of it is how much those feelings shift as the story progresses. Everyone loves Klaus, the twitchy junkie who can see dead people, his completely non heroic yet hilariously stoned outlook gives him many of the best lines and most fun scenes. I changed allegiance several times with the others, but Klaus, played by the charismatic Irish actor Robert Sheehan, always remained my favourite, because of his hippie rockstar vibe. Although it’s hard not to have a soft spot for Number 5, the time travelling schoolboy that has been missing for years and re-emerges as a middle aged man still trapped in the boys’ body. Aiden Gillen is superb in conveying that he is older whilst always looking like a teenager, and in many ways he is the true pivot and anchor of the story.

I suppose before the show aired it was Ellen Page that was the “star” draw amongst the young and mostly unknown cast of “heroes”. As Vanya, the only Hargreaves child never to demonstrate a power, and held aside by their controlling father, she is the outsider and most insecure of the bunch. You sense her storyline is going to be crucial to the whole shebang, and so it turns out, but her fame as an actress of note never overshadows the show as a whole – it feels instantly like a group effort, and in that sense a true family, the deeper you get into it.

I could go on explaining each character and the details of the intricate plot forever, but I would never do it justice. The only way to see what the fuss is about is to watch it. Anything else would just sound like mad confusion to the uninitiated. All I can say is that it does an incredible job of unfolding its charms and secrets piece by piece. So much so that by the climax of season two I am still not entirely sure we have all the information necessary to know what is going on in a complete sense; there are several questions and mysteries still to be unearthed, and I like that very much.

I have recommended this show to anyone I know who enjoys something entertaining that has substance yet doesn’t take itself too seriously – so that is everyone then! I think it’s allure is that very thing: it manages to hit a zeitgeist of perfect balance between a smart script and plotline with many cliffhangers, and enough disposable moments of fun, to be exactly what the modern Netflix viewer is looking for. Super easy to watch with one eye or with both, depending on what mood you are in.

There is also the style of the thing – a veritable candy box of colours and neat visual tricks, mixed in with some of the best musical montage sequences I have ever seen. I understand from several interviews that Steve Blackman specifically wrote certain scenes around the feel of a piece of music he wanted to include. That is a clever way of building a cult following: find songs that both tell a story and appeal to the cool kids, then use them as mini music video segments that punctuate the heavier elements of storytelling. It’s not a new trick, but the song choices here are so good that it has rarely been done this well before.

It all works especially well as we move into season two and an historical context that brings up a lot of pertinent issues for some of the siblings regarding race, sexuality and other freedoms of identity that can be taken for granted in the modern era. I don’t want to spoil too much of that here, but suffice to say as a hook to pin the themes on it is a genius touch that makes season two a huge leap forward on something that was already pretty decent in season one. All the characters become more rounded and relatable, even the so called bad guys – an increasingly eccentric bunch of creations that leave you in no doubt this is a comic book world not to be confused with reality.

At time of writing, a third season has still not being given the greenlight. Considering the massive cliffhanger we are left with at the end of season two, and how big the cult following seems to be by now, it would be an absolute crime not to allow it to continue. The only reason I can see it wouldn’t is that the stories of the source material are now exhausted, and anywhere they go from here will need to be truly original. However, there is so much scope to do almost anything from here that I don’t see it as any kind of issue.

If you haven’t seen it, I urge you whole-heartedly to give it a go. There really is something in there to please everyone, except perhaps the most serious minded of realists. Even then, they’d be hard pressed not to raise a smile or tap a toe at some of the best musical moments of emo hero mayhem.
  
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honingwords (32 KP) rated After Mrs Hamilton in Books

Jul 5, 2018 (Updated Jul 6, 2018)  
After Mrs Hamilton
After Mrs Hamilton
Clare Ashton | 2012 | LGBTQ+
10
10.0 (1 Ratings)
Book Rating
It’s an absolute masterpiece.
I’m going to go out on a limb here. I think After Mrs Hamilton by Clare Ashton is my all time favourite book.

Ever.

In any genre.

Normally when I recommend a book to a friend I’ll drop it into conversation. If I really like it I’ll send you a link to a review and follow up a few days later with a question on how you got on with it.

With this one I bought you your own copy, cos you ain’t getting mine, I opened it at the beginning and thrust it into your hands, I took your phone off the hook AND I rang your boss to tell her you won’t be in tomorrow morning.

Here’s a duvet for you too - you’ll be under it until the end.

Did I say favourite book?

Of all time.

And quite rightly so. It’s an absolute masterpiece.

This was my Book Club’s book of the month and it was suggested to me at a time when I was becoming jaded with the sheer number of books set in America, which I’d been reading up to then. It opened me up to an author I’d never heard of before, who sets her books in England and Wales. One who has come up with an original plot that starts off gently unfolding, before twisting and turning to a most unpredictable ending.

I absolutely devoured it.

I wanted to re-open it immediately the last page closed, but forced myself to wait using the interim to read Clare Ashton’s other books in quick succession. I had to see if the absolute need to re-immerse myself in her addictive, easy to read, rich in description, style would continue to be as strong. Also, I needed a clear period of time in front of me to allow for the fact the characters would take over my life again.

After over ten years of reading lesfic Clare Ashton is now the one I use to compare all other authors. I’m slightly worried that I can’t decide which of her novels is my favourite, but as this is the first one I read, it probably takes pride of place.

I’d say there are five or six characters to pay attention to but Clo is the main one. The plot revolves around her friends and family but, more specifically, it is woven around a web of coincidences. Coincidences about people who each have secrets and who may have known each other in the past, coincidences about where they lived and met, coincidences about how their pasts and futures may be intertwined.

Coincidences which prove just how small the world really is, especially if you ever lived in Middle Heyford.

Clare deals with two taboo subjects. The first is that Clo works for Marella as an escort to women. (“Prostitution. You can call it what it is,” says Clo.) She uses the income to allow her to care for her arthritic grandmother Amelia.

The second taboo subject I will let you find out for yourself, but for the record, I am not squeamish about it and think Clare was extremely brave to include it. I found myself nodding along with Clo’s reaction.

The novel begins with Marella interviewing her new client, Mrs Hamilton. Marella is the lynch pin to everything, yet we learn little about her throughout the book and she isn’t in many scenes. She is vitally important; there would be no story without her, yet Clare manages to allow Marella to stay mainly in the shadows. I would very much like to see future stories with her in them and think it is a huge shame Clare has no plans to visit this storyline again.

Clo knows Laura from university and Susan from living in Middle Heyford. Clo’s grandmother Amelia is the mother of Alice who has a special page all to herself in my imaginary book “People I’d Like To Punch In The Face” and Helen is Susan’s dead Mother’s sister. The intricate relationships between the characters are all explained as you go along but it is difficult to keep them all straight in your head, unless you either pay very good attention, or draw an L Word type chart for them, which is what I ended up doing.

Mrs Hamilton tells us she is fifty-four and throughout the book Clare refers to her, and certainly Mrs Hamilton thinks of herself, as an older woman. Clo meets with her professionally at the beginning and it is their mutual attraction which is explored throughout the rest of the book. There is an age difference there but it is not an issue for either of them.

There is a little part of me which wants to rebel against the idea that fifty-four is old though, and I wonder now that since the publication of the book was in 2012, and Clare is five years closer to Mrs Hamilton’s age now, would she still consider fifty-four year old skin to be ageing and mottled?

On that point, with me coming along five years after publication, I have to say there is nothing in the novel to date it. It is as fresh today as it would have been back then. Five years isn't long enough to notice too much, but I’m going to predict that readers in another twenty years will be saying this novel is ‘timeless.’

By necessity, there are a few back stories to wade through - the two main sets of characters could, possibly, have been dealt with in two books instead of one. At 308 pages this is a fairly long book, at the beginning it flows a tad more slowly than in the later chapters, but I’m sticking with my first impressions on it, and I wouldn’t have wanted Clare to have handled it any other way.

I like all the main characters. Amelia is so important to Clo and I am relieved when she returns home after a trip away and want to hug her! I like Laura, but feel she may be a high maintenance friend! I think Susan and I would be friends in real life. Clo’s father, Edward is a frustrating coward of a man, but is in an important scene with Clo’s lover and I melted a little towards him when she blurts out “I’m in love with your daughter’” and he says “Well I had gathered that.” Other than Clare’s well-written sex scenes this, and the few paragraphs leading up to it, would be my favourite part of the book.

One character has to deal with what I would suggest is a ‘betrayal by omission’ - others, those closest to her, know facts about her but don’t let her in on the secret. When it all comes out she seems able to accept this, after only a very short time adjusting. This isn't something I could have coped with and this is the one thing that made me uncomfortable during the book and the time mulling it over immediately after.

There are three points in this story when I spoke out loud. There was an

Oh!

A

Huh!

And finally an

OH MY GOD!

There is a split at the end - one side gets their happily ever after and the other story is one where we are left with a total absence of a conclusion. It was about a day later before I realised I didn’t know what happened with that story line and had to go back and reread the ending! Yup, there is nothing - we are left to make our own minds up!

Clare has been known to say that she is in denial about her breast obsession, but there are no fewer than 50 times the word ‘breast’ is used in this book and I loved every single one of them! I’m hoping she continues to not have any breast obsession in her future work!

After finishing the book the first time I added a category to help me rate books I am reviewing. I added “Should this be made into a film?” because it was a most definite YES! for After Mrs Hamilton.

The second time round I am about to add another category: Would I cherish a signed copy of this book? Errr YES!

My advice is to read this once. Then, with the knowledge you have at the end, go and read it again. Clare has so many clues and references cleverly placed throughout which you may think are just lovely details at the time, but they are actually very important to being able to fully understand the book.

It’s nearly impossible to sleep until this story is fully unravelled. Read it during a weekend when you have no work to worry about because otherwise you will want to pull a sickie.
  
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Lizz Cook (11 KP) Jul 6, 2018

Wow. You make me yearn for the feelings you got from this read. You are a wonderful writer.

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honingwords (32 KP) Jul 6, 2018

Thank you Lizz, you are very kind :)

Nightmares: A New Decade of Modern Horror
Nightmares: A New Decade of Modern Horror
Ellen Datlow | 2016 | Horror
6
7.0 (2 Ratings)
Book Rating
Also read my review here: http://bookbum.weebly.com/book-reviews/nightmares-a-new-decade-of-modern-horror-by-various-authors

NOW AVAILABLE IN THE UK!

I decided that instead of rating this book overall, it would be better to rate each individual story, so that’s what I’ve done. Obviously I had to rate the overall book so I actually calculated the average of all the ratings lol.

<b><u>Shallaballah</b></u> by Mark Samuels
<i>1 star</i>
Not a good start to the book for me. I was over the stitched up face appearance, creepy hospital, shady operations kind of horror story long ago, so this did pretty much nothing for me. Yes there were creepy elements to it but not enough. I also get what it was trying to do with the whole vanity, television thing, but it didn’t really work and so for me, added nothing to the overall plot.

<b><u>Sob in the Silence</b></u> by Gene Wolfe
<i>3 stars</i>
This was a pretty good creepy story, I much prefer stories that don't really have any paranormal elements to them and are more about the madness of the human brain. This short story had a bit of both to it so it was much preferable to the last! Didn't like the weird abrupt ending though, it felt like the story had been cut short.

<b><u>Our Turn Too Will One Day Come</b></u> by Brian Hodge
<i>4 stars</i>
This definitely had my skin crawling a bit. I love this kind of horror story that incorporates creatures and family secrets, kind of gave me The Village vibes… Is that the name of that film? Anyway, yes, great short!

<b><u>Dead Sea Fruit</b></u> by Kaaron Warren
<i>3 stars</i>
This short was pretty good, the Ash Mouth Man was pretty freaky but the writing was a bit all over the place and I felt too much was squeezed into such a small story. I'd love to read a full length story about this Ash Man, that would definitely be disturbing to read!

<b><u>Closet Dreams</b></u> by Lisa Tuttle
<i>4 stars</i>
Really well written and completely terrifying! I hate abduction stories so much because it could happen to anyone. It's not like the demonic ghost stories that you choose to believe or not believe, men who rape and steal little girls are <b>real.</b> The ending was… Predictable… Done before… Boring… But the rest of it was good enough to warrant it 4 stars!

<b><u>Spectral Evidence</b></u> by Gemma Files
<i>1 star</i>
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I didn’t like the way this was set out, very frustrating to read on a Kindle! Also, I didn’t really get it, it was so all over the place I forgot what was happening previously.

<b><u>Hushabye</b></u> by Simon Bestwick
<i>2 stars.</i>
I wanted to like this one but there was too much missing from the story, maybe it was meant to be mysterious but in my eyes it just felt unfinished. Like what was the man sucking out of the children? And what really happened to Hardiman? Also I thought the narrator was a woman until we finally learnt his name was Paul, don’t know why, I just imagined him that way.

<b><u>Very Low-Flying Aircraft</b></u> by Nicholas Royle
<i>3 stars</i>
I’m not really a big fan of war based novels / stories so from the get go I knew I wasn’t going to get on that well with this story but it wasn’t so bad. I didn’t feel like this story explained itself enough or maybe it did and I just didn’t get it? Like why did it matter that Frankie looked like Victoria and why did Flynn go to the clinic? Also, I didn’t think it of a horror story really, though it was scary and horrible, it didn’t give me the heeby-jeebys like some of the others have done.

<b><u>The Goosle</b></u> by Margo Lanagan
<i>2 stars</i>
Seriously, seriously grotesque. If you have a weak stomach, <i>avoid this.</i> A very peculiar branch off the traditional Hansel and Gretel story we all know. This isn’t my kind of horror at all. I much prefer scary, mysterious human crime and occasionally a paranormal story. Torture porn is not at all my thing. This was very well written though, so props to Lanagan for that.

<b><u>The Clay Party</b></u> by Steve Duffy
<i>4 stars</i>
Again, not exactly what I’d classify as a horror story, but a great read nonetheless. Excellently written and enjoyable the whole way through, up until the end… the ending definitely wasn’t my kind of style so that was disappointing for me personally, but I’m sure others would love it!

<b><u>Strappado</b></u> by Laird Barron
<i>3 stars</i>
Definitely one of the strangest of the shorts in this novel. I thought it was excellently written but I didn’t quite get it? Maybe I was just having an off day when I read this but it didn’t really do anything for me.

<b><u>Lonegan’s Luck</b></u> by Stephen Graham Jones
<i>4 stars</i>
This is one of those stories I don’t know why I like. I never used to be into these kinds of rural town, religious apocalyptic kind of books, but ever since reading Mammoth, I’ve begun to enjoy reading them. Admittedly this had me a little confused to begin with, there were what felt like a lot of characters, but in the end none of the mattered anyway, they were just there to set the scene.

<b><u>Mr Pigsny</b></u> by Reggie Oliver
<i>3 stars</i>
I feel like I’ve read this book a million times. It’s one of those stories that's been redone time and time again with just slight changes here and there. It isn’t a bad plot per say, I certainly enjoyed it, it just had nothing unique about it.

<b><u>At Night, When the Demons Come by</b></u> by Ray Cluley
<i>4 stars</i>
One of the longer stories in this book but also one of the best. It had a pleasing twist to it and some interesting characters. I guess I quite like the whole apocalyptic feel when it comes to stories. I personally don’t feel this one was a horror story, more like a fantasy thriller.

<b><u>Was She Wicked? Was She Good?</b></u> by Mary Rickert
<i>4 stars</i>
This was a sad horror story, but in a way, it was also quite beautiful. I really liked the plot, it was something quite different to all the others in this collection and I thought the way it was written flowed well. Enjoyable short story!

<b><u>The Shallows</b></u> by John Langan
<i>2 stars</i>
I liked how this was written but I didn’t get it? I got bored halfway through it too, it was a half an hour read and I just couldn’t understand it so I skimmed the last 10 minutes or so. Yawn.

<b><u>Little Pig</b></u> by Anna Taborska
<i>3 stars</i>
Meh. This was well written and very different to the rest of the stories in this collection but was it a horror story? No. It was tragic, but not scary. Disappointing because whenever I see the word “pig” in relation to something “scary” I think of AHS.

<b><u>Omphalos</b></u> by Livia Llewellyn
<i>3 stars</i>
<b>TRIGGER WARNING: SEXUAL ABUSE</b>
This story was definitely very unique to the rest of the stories in this collection in the terms that this was a horror story that focused more on the real life horrors of families rather than made up monsters and ghouls. This story isn’t for the faint-hearted, it was horrific and gruesome and very upsetting. It wasn’t the best story in the collection when it came to plot or writing style, but it did bring out strong emotions in me, which other stories have been unable to do.

<b><u>How We Escaped Our Certain Fate</b></u> by Dan Chaon
<i>5 stars</i>
I liked how this was a different take on a classic zombie story - <b><i>”It wasn’t the end of the world… of course, a bite would infect you, but they weren’t terribly aggressive, in general.”</b></i> This was by far my favourite story in the entire book, it was so sad and emotional. It was beautiful.

<b><u>That Tiny Flutter of the Heart I Used to Call Love</b></u> by Robert Shearman
<i>4 stars</i>
Creepy, creepy, creepy. Dolls terrify me thanks to modern horror, although, really, I’ve always felt unsettled by them. Enjoyable story though. Poor Julian.
(This story almost had my name in it! “Suki” is close enough to Zuky.)

<b><u>Interstate Love Song (Murder Ballad No.8)</b></u> by Caitlin R. Kiernan
<i>3 stars</i>
Hmm, why did the shorts at the end of this book get all meaningful and loved up? I think that kinda ruined this for me. Granted it was disturbed and pretty grotesque at times but sadness of the ending ruined that creepy effect of the book and just left this kind of hanging in the space between horror and tragedy.

<b><u>Shay Corsham Worsted</b></u> by Garth Nix
<i>4 stars</i>
This was an interesting story and I liked our harsh but caring main character, Sir David. I wish this story was a little longer so we could find out more about Shay because I feel the missing backstory left this plot wide open. Enjoyable nonetheless.

<b><u>The Atlas of Hell</b></u> by Nathan Ballingrud
<i>3 stars</i>
I really enjoyed this to begin with though I thought it had a little David Wong influence, a writing style I’m not into. All was going well for this story until I got towards the end of it, where it completely lost me. Whether this is down to the annoying man sat on the train next to me, speaking into his phone at 32596 decibels, or just because the plot went AWOL, we’ll never know.

<b><u>Ambitious Boys Like You</b></u> by Richard Kadrey
<i>4 stars</i>
I like these kinds of creepy stories! They’re not particularly unique anymore, because they’ve been done so many different times in so many different, but similar ways, but they’re still fun to read. The old man was especially disturbing just because he was so witty and chilled out. I liked that this story had elements of humour to it, it made a nice change to the more recent emotion filled stories.

I’d like to thank Netgalley and Tachyon Publications for giving me the opportunity to read this in an exchange for an honest review.