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Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle (2017)
Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle (2017)
2017 | Action, Adventure, Comedy
The most fun you can have with Jack Black’s penis.
In 1995, Joe Johnston (“The Rocketeer”, “Captain America: The First Avenger”) directed “Jumanji” – a quirky, fantastical and dark film starring the late, great Robin Williams that got a rough critical reception at the time of release, but was embraced by the public and has gone on to be a modern classic. So when it was announced that a sequel was in the works 22 years later, my first reaction was “Oh no… is nothing sacred?”. It’s fair to say that I went into this flick with extremely low expectations.

But I have to say that – given this low base – I was pleasantly surprised. It’s actually quite a fun fantasy film that I predict that older kids will adore.

Seriously kick-ass. Karen Gillan – or rather one of her stunt doubles – gets hands… er… feet on with an aggressive level-character.
Initially set (neatly) in 1995, a teen – Alex (Nick Jonas, of the Jonas Brothers) unearths the board game Jumanji where it ended up buried in beach-sand at the end of the last film. “Who plays board games any more?” he scoffs, which the game hears and morphs into a game cartridge. Cheesy? Yes, but no more crazy than the goings on of the first film. Back in 2017, four high-school teens – geeky Spencer (Alex Wolff, “Patriot’s Day“); sports-jock Fridge (Ser’Darius Blain); self-obsessed beauty Bethany (Madison Iseman); and self-conscious, nerdy and shy Martha (Morgan Turner) – find the game and are sucked into it, having to complete all the game levels before they can escape.

Bethany (Madison Iseman) wishing she had her phone out for a selfie of this.
But they are not themselves in the game; they adopt the Avatars they chose to play: Dr Bravestone (Dwayne Johnson, “San Andreas“); Moose Finbar (Kevin Hart, “Get Hard“); Ruby Roundhouse (Karen Gillan, “Dr Who”, “The Circle“; “Guardians of the Galaxy“); and Professor Shelly Oberon (Jack Black, “Sex Tape“, “Kong”). Can they combine their respective game talents – and suppress the human mental baggage they brought with them – to escape the game?

Avatars all. Kevin Hart, Dwayne Johnson, Karen Gillan and Jack Black.
There was a really dark time-travelling angle to the storyline of the original film – the traumatic start of Disney’s “Flight of the Navigator” was perhaps also borrowed from the concept in the book by Chris Van Allsburg. An attempt is made to recreate this in the sequel. I felt the first film rather pulled its punches though in favour of a Hollywood happy ending: will this be the case this time?

The film delivers laughs, but in a rather inconsistent fashion – it is mostly smile-worthy rather than laugh-out-loud funny. Much fun is had with the sex change of Bethany’s character, with Jack Black’s member featuring – erm – prominently. The characters all have strengths and weaknesses, like a game of Top Trumps, and this also entertains. But the most humour derives from the “three lives and it’s game over” device giving the opportunity for various grisly ends, often relating to the above referenced weaknesses.


A weakness for cake… something many of us have, but not quite to this extent.
Given the cast that’s been signed up, the acting is not exactly first rate although Karen Gillan shines as the brightest star. But “it’s not bloody Shakespeare” so ham-acting is not that much of a problem and the cast all have fun with their roles. Dwayne Johnson in particular gets to play out of character as the ‘nerd within the hunk’, and his “smouldering look” skill – arched eyebrow and all – is hilarious. Rhys Darby, looking so much like Hugh Jackman that I had to do several double takes, also turns up as an English game-guide in a Land Rover, and Bobby Cannavale (“Ant Man“) is Van Pelt, the villain of the piece.

There has been much controversy over Karen Gillan’s child-sized outfit. But she is clearly a parallel to the well-endowed Lara Croft, and young male teens didn’t play that game for the jungle scenery! She is meant to be a hot and sexy video game character, and man – does she deliver! Gillan is not just hot in the film: she is #lavahot. This makes her comic attempts at flirting lessons (as the internally conflicted Martha) especially funny. Hats off to her stunt doubles as well, for some awe-inspiring martial arts fight scenes.

Seeing treble. Karen Gillan (centre) with her talented stunt doubles Joanna Bennett and Jahnel Curfman.
Fans of “Lost” will delight in the Jumanji scenery, surely one of the most over-used film locations in Hawaii if not the world!
Where the film gets bogged down is in too much cod-faced philosophizing over the teenager’s “journeys”. This is laid on in such a clunky manner in the early (slow!) scenes that the script could have been significantly tightened up. And as I said above the script, written (rather obviously) by a raft of writers, could have been so much funnier. Most of the humour comes from visually seeing what’s happening: not from the dialogue.

Directed by Jake Kasdan (son of director and Star Wars/Raiders screenwriter Lawrence Kasdan) it’s really not half as bad as it could have been and certainly not as bad as I feared: I would gladly watch it again. For it’s target audience, which is probably kids aged 10 to 14, I think they will love it. And, unlike many holiday films, the parents won’t be totally bored either (especially the Dads, for the obvious misogynistic reasons outlined above!).
  
Alien: Covenant (2017)
Alien: Covenant (2017)
2017 | Horror, Sci-Fi
Horrific Beasts and How to Avoid Them.
I seem to be in a bit of a minority in quite liking Ridley Scott’s last Alien outing – 2012’s “Prometheus”: a heady, if at times ponderous, theory to the origins of man. The first hour of that film is really good. But for me, what made the original 1979 film so enthralling was the life cycle of the ‘traditional’ Xenomorph aliens through egg to evil hatchling to vicious killing machine. This somewhat got lost with “Prometheus” with a range of alien-like-things ranging from wiggly black goo to something more familiar… and frankly I was confused. Some – repeat, some – of the explanation for that diversity of forms in “Prometheus” is made clearer in the sequel “Alien: Covenant”.

“Covenant” (named again after the spaceship at its heart) is a follow-on sequel to “Prometheus”, so it is worth re-watching it if you can before a cinema trip. At the end of that film we saw Elizabeth Shaw (Noomi Rapace, “The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo”) and a reconstructed android David (Michael Fassbender, “Steve Jobs“) flying off in an alien craft still loaded with its cargo of nasty alien black goo. Shaw had a mission to seek out The Engineer’s home world – named “Paradise” – to find out why after creating man they were intent on going back to finish them off with a WMD. A neat prologue has been released which documents this… here:


We pick up the action 10 years later in a totally improbable 2104. (Give us a break writing team! [Story by Jack Paglen and Michael Green; screenplay by John Logan and Dante Harper]. We know they won’t have got through planning permission on the third Heathrow runway by then, let alone invented interplanetary travel…! 2504, maybe!)
Daniels (Katherine Waterston, “Fantastic Beasts And Where To Find Them“) has just suffered a sudden bereavement (an uncredited James Franco – – blink and you’ll miss him). She has also been rudely awakened from hypersleep due to a sudden system mishap: no, not to find Chris Pratt there like “Passengers“, but by the ship’s android Walter (also Michael Fassbender) who’s also revived the rest of the crew. While effecting repairs they receive a garbled John Denver track mysteriously beamed to them from an earth-like planet not too far away. As this might be a suitable homestead, and as spending weeks more in hypersleep is unattractive, Captain Oram (Billy Crudup, “Spotlight“) votes to check it out, against Daniels’ strong objections. Needless to say, this proves to be a BIG MISTAKE as the new film neatly links hands with the first film.

Kick-ass… Katherine Waterston being careful not to slip in the shower.

There’s a limit to what more I can say about the film without delivering spoilers (so I have added a few more comments in the spoiler section BELOW the trailer). It’s a far more action-oriented film than “Prometheus” and has enough jump scares and gore to please most Alien fans. (In fact, it’s a surprise to me that it got a UK “15” certificate rather than an “18”: how much more violence do you need to show in the film?) A shower scene towards the end of the film is particularly effective and will likely put an end to relaxing shower sex for many people for good!
It also looks visually stunning (cinematography is by Dariusz Wolski (“The Martian“, “Pirates of the Caribbean”) with location shooting in Milford Sound in New Zealand. The special effects are also a cut-above the normal CGI with a devastated Pompeii-like city, a picture of blacks and greys, being particularly effective.

In the acting stakes it is really all down to Waterston and Fassbinder. I wasn’t a great fan of Waterston in “Fantastic Beasts” – a bit insipid I thought – but here she adopts Ripley’s kick-ass mantle with ease but blends it beautifully with doe-eyed vulnerability. Some of her scenes reminded me strongly of Demi Moore in “Ghost”. Fassbinder is fascinating to watch with his dual roles of Walter and David, both slightly different versions of the same being. And the special effects around the Fassbinder-on-Fassbinder action, tending somewhat towards the homoerotic in places, are well done.

Unfortunately the rest of the crew get little in the way of background development, which limits the impact of the inevitable demises. They are also about as clinically stupid as the spaceship crew in “Life” in some of their actions; I guess you could put some of this down to the effects of panic, but in other cases you might see it as a simple cleansing of the gene pool in Darwinian fashion.
Also making uncredited guest appearances are Guy Pearce as Weyland (in a flashback scene) and Noomi Rapace.

Music is “by” Jed Kurzel, but to be honest he does little than wrap around re-versions of the original Jerry Goldsmith classics: not that this is a bad thing, since those themes are iconic and a joy to hear again on the big screen.
My expectations for this movie were sky-high, as it was hinted as a return to form for the franchise. And in many ways it was, with a “man, Gods and androids” theme adding depth to the traditional anatomical-bursting gore. But to be honest, some of the storytelling was highly predictable, and I left slightly disappointed with the overall effort. If my expectations were an 11/10, my reality was more like a 7/10. It’s still a good film, and I look forward to watching it again. But perhaps this is a franchise that has really run its course now for Mr Scott and he should look to his next “Martian”-type movie for a more novel foundation to build his next movie “log cabin on the lake” on.
  
Breakdancing Meeples
Breakdancing Meeples
2020 | Music
I think that I’ve mentioned in some of my previous reviews that I rarely buy games without first having played and/or researched them beforehand. Enter Breakdancing Meeples. One fine day, I was perusing the fine stock at my FLGS. While I was wandering and debating whether I should buy Reef or 7 Wonders Duel, my gaze fell upon a small tin with some funny artwork – a game titled Breakdancing Meeples. It was a small and fairly inexpensive game, so I figured, why not? I picked it up (along with 7 Wonders Duel this time) and brought it home to my collection. Was my faith misplaced, or does the game deliver on its first impression of simple fun? Keep reading to find out.

Breakdancing Meeples is a real-time game in which players are trying to amass the most Crowd Appeal (VP) by directing their dance crews to perform the baddest and most impressive dance routines of all time. To setup the game, give each player 6 Meeples, 6 cubes, and their starting Routine cards in their chosen color. Shuffle the remaining Routine cards to form a draw pile, open up the Breakdancing Meeples app (or just get a one-minute timer ready) and the dance battle is set to begin!

Each round is broken into two phases – Dance Off, and Remix. In the Dance Off, players will have one minute to roll their Meeples (yes, you read that correctly – rolling Meeples) to complete as their crew’s Routines as many times as they can to earn Crowd Appeal. When rolling Meeples, there are 4 stances in which the Meeples can land: Feet, Side, Head, or Back. These positions correspond to stances on your Routine cards. If you roll a Meeple in a stance that matches one on your card, you may place that Meeple on that card, moving you closer to completing that Routine. Once all stances have been filled on a Routine, you earn a Crowd Appeal cube, placing it on the leftmost available square at the bottom of that Routine card. You may then pick up all the Meeples from that card, and they are back in play. It is important to note that once a Meeple has been placed on a Routine, it may not be removed until the Routine is finished! If you are unable, or unwilling, to place a Meeple on a Routine card, you may reroll any unused Meeples. Continue rolling and placing your Meeples in this fashion until the one-minute timer runs out. When time has been called, all players will count up their Crowd Appeal – the points listed at the bottom of their Routine cards that are covered by cubes, signifying a successful rep of that Routine. The Dance Off phase is now over.


Now comes the Remix phase. Reveal as many face-up cards from the Draw deck as there are players plus one. Beginning with the player who has the lowest Crowd Appeal, players will take turns selecting a new Routine card to add to their repertoire for the next round. Players may only ever have 3 Routine cards, so in future rounds, players can choose to discard from their play area in favor of a new card. A new round now begins with another Dance Off, and continues as above until the fourth Dance Off has been completed. Players then tally their total Crowd Appeal, and the player with the highest score is the winner! Dare I say, the Dancing Queen? No? Ok…
With a fun theme and simple gameplay, does Breakdancing Meeples hold up? I would have to say yes. First let’s talk about the simplicity of gameplay. All you have to do is roll Meeples and match stances to cards. It may not sound exciting when stated that way, but add in the one-minute timer and suddenly you’ve got a more engaging and action-based game. Throw the Meeples into the mix (literally, in this game) and their disproportionate limbs and unique silhouettes provide an extra challenge in getting them to roll and land exactly as you want them to.


Another neat element of this game is the addition of Rally and Special cards to the Draw deck. Rally cards are purchased (with Crowd Appeal) in the Remix phase, and are then attached to one of your existing Routines. In the next Dance Off, when rolling your Meeples, Rally cards can provide extra Crowd Appeal points once their conditions have been met. These cards may cost some end-game points, but they could earn you much more if the conditions are right. It’s a risk, and adds some suspense to the gameplay. Special cards grant the player a ‘wild’ dancer. If you roll 2 Meeples in the same stance, you may exchange them to a single dancer in your chosen stance. Rally and Special cards can be removed from the game for a more simple gameplay, if playing with younger players for example, but add in an extra twist to the chaos of the real-time limitations.
Is Breakdancing Meeples my favorite game? Nope. But it’s a cute, fun, and fast little game that I can see myself pulling out often as a filler, or even a game to introduce newer gamers to the hobby. It is lighthearted in nature, with a unique theme, and it just is fun to play. I am glad that I bought this game on a whim, and I definitely will be keeping it in my collection. With that said, Purple Phoenix Games gives it a hoppin’ 7 / 12. Check it out, you might be surprised!
  
Beerbongs & Bentleys by Post Malone
Beerbongs & Bentleys by Post Malone
2017 | Rap, Techno
Post Malone is a rapper from Syracuse, New York. Not too long ago, he released his sophomore album, entitled, “beerbongs & bentleys”, featuring Swae Lee, 21 Savage, Ty Dolla Sign, Nicki Minaj, G-Eazy, and YG.

Malone wears his heart on his sleeve and speaks from the heart. His world is good and bad, and he blames himself for his dual reality because life is what you make it.


PARANOID

Malone opens the album speaking about his paranoia. He’s worked so hard to become rich and successful. Now, he can’t trust anyone around him. He fears that people are out to get him for his riches, which he has stashed in different areas of his home.

To protect himself, Malone sleeps with a gun by his bed. Also, he’s willing to shoot anyone trying to break in or enter his home unannounced.

SPOIL MY NIGHT (FT. SWAE LEE)

Malone addresses limelight-lustful females he encounters in nightclubs. The women know Malone is a celebrity, so they want their social-media world to know that they are hanging out with him.

Malone admits that what he’s doing is wrong. But there’s no need for these women to get star-struck. In a way, he’s suspicious about their move to go live on Instagram. He would rather them chill and keep things on the low.

RICH & SAD

Malone addresses his girlfriend. She’s the reason why he doesn’t want his female fans recording him in the clubs.

Apparently, Malone’s girl leaves him for unknown reasons. Malone claims it’s because his career is skyrocketing. So, that might’ve complicated their relationship. But the real reason is anyone’s guess.

After her departure, Malone feels lonely and depressed, even though he’s surrounded by fame and fortune.

Malone realizes that money can’t buy happiness. All he wants is his girlfriend back.

ZACK AND CODEINE

Malone solves his loneliness by indulging in his guilty pleasures. So, he parties in a hotel lobby, filled with women, drugs, and alcohol.

Malone celebrates his success and doesn’t plan on sleeping anytime soon. As long as he’s partying, he doesn’t feel alone. He even addresses the current state of urban music.

TAKIN’ SHOTS

Malone continues his pleasure-seeking. This time, he’s at another party, mixing unprotected threesome sex, drugs, and alcohol.

Malone is drunk before he gets to the party. Still, that doesn’t stop him from taking more shots. Also, he’s waiting for more drugs to come.

ROCKSTAR FEAT. 21 SAVAGE

Malone identifies what he is—a Rockstar, smoking weed like a Rasta, f*cking hoes, and popping pills.

The Emil Nava-directed video shows Malone as a deranged swordsman. Also, he is warring against the ops, and they are clothed in business attire.

OVER NOW

Malone stops partying and addresses his off-and-on relationship with his girlfriend. This time, he lets her know that he’s been a begging idiot. Now, he doesn’t want her anymore. It’s over!

PSYCHO FEAT. TY DOLLA $IGN

 Malone raps about making his first million, how much he charges for a walkthrough, and how the jewelry on his neck is making his neck cold. Also, all these things he has accumulated, have women asking, “Can I have some to hold?”

The James DeFina-directed video begins with Malone riding a tank in a deserted area. Also, later scenes show Ty Dolla riding inside the tank.

BETTER NOW

Malone reverts back to talking about his ex-girlfriend. He questions her saying that she is better now. But he doesn’t believe that, even though he sees her with a new guy.

Malone is trying to win back her love and faults himself as the problem of their separation. He puts his heart on his sleeve and lets it be known that he’s still in love with her.

BALL FOR ME FEAT. NICKI MINAJ

Malone ditches his relationship drama and puts on his ballin’ jersey. He’s busy on the road getting paid. So, he doesn’t have time to personally take her shopping on Rodeo Drive.

The girl wants to be styled in Saint Laurent fashion. So, Malone offers to pay $30,000 for the shopping spree and nothing more.

OTHERSIDE

Malone reverts back to talking about his ex-girlfriend. He’s been drinking and reminiscing about their rocky relationship. Also, he wants to know why she doesn’t answer when he calls her name.

It seems Malone’s girl did him dirty. She left him in the cold and now he’s burning inside trying to drink away the pain. But somehow, he still loves her and wants the waves to come and take him back to her.

STAY

Malone is stuck in a sunken place. The rocky relationship between him and his ex is starting to get to him and he’s starting to drink more and more.

BLAME IT ON ME

Malone reflects on a time when he didn’t have money and fame. Life was so simple back then.

Now, people around him are trying to take pieces of him, and everything he has worked hard for. He blames himself for them taking advantage of him, even though he knows they love when he’s in agony.

SAME BITCHES FEAT. YG & G-EAZY

Malone raps about being in Los Angeles. He questions, if the population is 4-million, how come he sees the same b*tches? Also, he questions their intention.

JONESTOWN (INTERLUDE)

Malone is depressed again. He mentions the Jonestown cult massacre when Jim Jones poisoned his followers with a poisonous Kool-Aid drink.

Malone raps about his 1992 Ford Explorer. Apparently, he purchased another one for $1,700 and got it customized by West Coast Customs.

CANDY PAINT

Malone continues his lavish talks about his lavish lifestyle, expensive vehicles, and his boss status. Also, he warns people not to plot on what he has because it can get ugly.

‘Candy Paint’ was originally recorded for “The Fate of the Furious: The Album” soundtrack.

SUGAR WRAITH

Malone continues with the car theme. He raps about his Rolls Royce Wraith and taking it out for a drive. Also, he covers other topics.

CONCLUSION

‘beerbongs & bentleys’ is a rhythmic/harmonious album with solid production and detailed songwriting.

Also, it highlights Malone’s struggles, pinpoints his weaknesses and addictions, which are lotion with tears of depression and materialistic happiness.

https://www.bongminesentertainment.com/post-malone-beerbongs-bentleys/
  
Good Boys (2019)
Good Boys (2019)
2019 | Comedy
Every generation has a coming of age classic that they can point to and say that it resonated with them. Whether it be classic John Hughes movies such as Pretty in Pink or The Breakfast Club, there is always something that defines the youth of that generation. Whether it be the situations that the main characters find themselves in, or even something as simple as the music and fashion, there is usually something that will strike a familiar chord with the audience. Even when I go back and rewatch the classics, it reminds me of a simpler time, when my life struggles involved asking a girl to a dance or attempting to fit in to any number of awkward first-time moments that each of us at one time or another go through. Good Boys is such a movie, about the awkwardness and naivety of youth, even if the kids had a bigger potty mouth than I did as a child.
 
Max (Jacob Tremblay), Thor (Brady Noon), and Lucas (Keith L. Williams) are a group of 12-year old boys known to their family and friends as the Bean Bag boys. Why do they refer to themselves as the Bean Bag Boys you ask? Why because they sit on Bean Bag chairs of course. Entering 6th grade they are trying to stand out but tend to do so in all the worst ways. Thor loves to sing but is bullied to not sign up for the school musical because it’s not a cool thing to be. Lucas is dealing with his parent’s new divorce and has a propensity to always tell the truth (even when the truth potentially causes more damage than a lie). Then there is Max, a young man whose hormones are beginning to take over his brain and can only think of the love of his life (and future wife of course) Brixlee.
 
Max being to shy to even look at Brixlee when she is looking his way is finally given a golden opportunity when he is invited by popular kid Soren (Izaac Wang) to a kissing party. The idea of being able to not only speak to Brixlee but be able to kiss her causes a rush of emotions that gravitate from excitement to terror. Max, believing that the way to his true-loves heart is by being a kissing expert recruits his fellow Bean Bag Boys on a quest to learn to kiss.
 
His quest will take him from spying on his “nymphomaniac” neighbor, to a treacherous highway crossing to get to the mall. They will have to brave frat houses, and potentially risky run-ins with pedophiles and the police, all to learn how to be a better kisser. Of course, there is plenty of laughs and situations that only naïve children could get themselves into, all of which had me and the entirety of the audience laughing the entire way through
 
Good Boys is a movie that relies on the audience connection with the main characters to succeed. Without that, you are left with a movie full of foul language and crude humor which have lately become a dime a dozen. Thankfully the casting of Good Boys far exceeds any expectations I had going into the theater. Comedies of these type lean heavily on the actors to carry the story through the hi-jinx that are around every corner and the actors were more than up to the challenge. Jacob Tremblay portrays perfectly the fear that every young boy (or girl) goes through when they imagine their first kiss. Keith L. Williams shows the heart break that a young kid goes through when deal with personal tragedy (in this case his parents’ divorce) and yet still remains true-to-himself anyway. Brady Noon excels at his desire to be cool, and still struggle with how coolness affects what he truly loves and wants to ultimately do. All three as a group convincingly take us on a journey that may seem outlandish, yet ultimately feel believable as well.
 
Good Boys also has a strong supporting cast, that add further dimension to the film. The two “old” girls Lily (Midori Francis) and Hannah (Molly Gordon) are fantastic in their portrayal of two women who simply want their drugs to get high. They will go to almost any lengths to get them back from the boys who stole them and yet end up becoming a bigger part to the film as a whole. Even the well meaning yet clueless parents of Lucas (Lil Rel Howery and Retta) add to the laughs as a couple trying their best to protect their son even as their own lives are driven apart.
 
Good Boys may come across in previews as a crude comedy with loads of foul language and sexual situations. While at first glance that may be what it is, as you pull back the layers you soon begin to realize that it’s a story, not about the words that are said, but the innocence of youth and what it means to grow apart as friends. The laughs are non-stop and the language excusable because of the innocence of those on the screen who are spouting them. As parents maybe you’d be looking to wash their mouths out with soap, but as the audience you can’t help but think how innocent they truly are. Good Boys is a movie that will resonate with many in the audience, who likely went through some of these very same dilemmas in their own coming of age stories. Maybe not through paintball fights at a frat house, or crossing a busy freeway, but we each have our own unique stories that helped to mold us into who we are today. It’s funny how watching a film like this can make you reminisce on your own experiences, even if it isn’t on the big screen for all to see.
 

4 out of 5 stars

http://sknr.net/2019/08/14/good-boys/
  
X-Men: Dark Phoenix (2019)
X-Men: Dark Phoenix (2019)
2019 | Action, Adventure, Sci-Fi
Ever since X-men First Class was released, Jean Gray one of the more pivotal characters in the X-Men universe has been surprisingly absent. Often portrayed at not only having psychic abilities that rivals Charles Xavier, but also attracted the admiration of both Cyclops and Wolverine. While she was a staple in the original film and subsequent sequels her first appearance in the newest series did not occur until X-Men Apocalypse. With the release of Dark Phoenix, we had hoped to finally get an opportunity to explore a bit of her background story and her transformation into Dark Phoenix.

Dark Phoenix begins on a small country road where a very young Jean Grey is arguing with her parents over what music to listen to. In traditional parent fashion, her mother reminds her that the driver is the one who chooses the music and when she is old enough to drive she can choose her own music. This small disagreement turns into a deadly confrontation, when the young Jean, unable to control her vast powers causes her mom to fall asleep at the wheel, resulting in a head on collision killing both her parents. The doctors are amazed that this young girl has survived without a single scratch and a young Charles Xavier arrives to take her to a place where she can be safe.

Fast Forward to the year 1992 where the space shuttle Endeavor, on a routine mission, encounters a cosmic entity that cripples it in space. The X-men, who are now looked at as heroes by most of the world are tasked to bring the astronauts safely home, it’s a dangerous mission, but one that Charles feels will further cement the hero status of his team and continue to grow trust between mutants and humans alike. The mission goes surprisingly without incident until Jean and Night Crawler attempt to rescue the final remaining astronaut from the doomed shuttle. Night Crawler quickly teleports the astronaut to safety, but Jean is caught by the full force of the cosmic entity, absorbing it completely and destroying the shuttle. The team scrambles to locate her, and with the help of Night Crawler are once again able to bring her back to the safety of the X-Jet. Relieved that she has somehow miraculously survived the encounter the team is unaware that Jean and themselves will never be the same again.

As we’ve come to expect from the previous X-men movies, a star-studded cast leads the way. Familiar cast members such as Jennifer Lawrence (Raven), Tye Sheridan (Cyclops) and James McAvoy (Charles Xavier) are joined once again by Sophie Turner as the iconic Jean Grey. Sophie does an incredible job at bringing out both the uncertainty in her character and the extreme anger and rage that flows through her. Unfortunately for such a major character the movie only briefly touches the surface of who Jean Grey really is. The movie, even from the start tends to focus on Jean as a dangerous and angry young lady, unable to control her emotions which will ultimately open the doorway to her alter ego Dark Phoenix. The movie unfortunately treats her as a one-off character and skips most of her back story choosing to focus only on her Dark Phoenix personality. This leaves the audience with no understanding of the person she was prior to the transformation, only seeing Jean as an uncontrollable child who has now become an uncontrollable adult with “off the chart” powers. While Charles and other members of the team try to assure those around them (and the audience seated in the theaters) that Jean is a good person, a person worth saving, there is very little in the movie that allows us to sympathize with her plight. It ultimately villainizes her and leaves much of the cast (and the audience) wondering whether destroying her is the right choice for all humankind.

Visually Dark Phoenix is a masterpiece, whether it’s the awe-inspiring deepness of space, or the incredible visual effects as the mutants square off against each other with their powers. Buildings topple, subway cars are pulled from underground and general mayhem takes the stage. This is certainly one of the more action-packed movies in the series and getting the opportunity to watch some of our favorite mutants square off against one another is enough to excite even the ones least interested in the franchise.

Dark Phoenix as one might expect is also one of the darkest of the x-men movies. Unlike its other Marvel film counterparts, there is no levity in the movie at all. There are scenes that are heartwarming, but the movie takes itself very seriously. Even in a similarly dark Marvel movie Endgame there were moments that would make you laugh regardless of how dire the situation was, Dark Phoenix is not like this at all. It carries a weight to it that ensures that not only the people on screen, but those in the audience understand how truly dire the situation is. It detracts a bit from the spirit of the source material it derives from and could potentially alienate its core audience. This is a very adult movie, that deals with some very adult themes and parents might want to think twice before taking their youngest to see this film. With the X-Men franchise finally joining the MCU, it’ll be interesting to see how movies down the road treat these characters.

Dark Phoenix represents the end of an X-Men era that has existed in both its original and First-Class installments for over twenty years. The acquisition of Fox by Disney now brings this venerable franchise to the MCU family along with its cast of seemingly endless characters. While the movie is certainly better than Apocalypse, it can’t quite reach the heights of either First-Class or Days of Futures Past. The Dark Phoenix storyline does a good job staying closer to its comic book roots than its previous outing but rushes the origin and character development of Jean far more than she deserves. It’s a fine ending to the series as a whole but can’t quite deliver in all the ways I hoped it would.
  
The Druid Master
The Druid Master
2021 | Card Game
When it comes to fantasy worlds, I often think of powerful parties going on epic adventures – fighting monsters, delving through dungeons, and saving the world! But what about when the adventure is over and the party comes home? What do they do in their day-to-day lives? Well, The Druid Master helps give us a glimpse into the regular life of a Druid. Being the local healer might not always be glamorous, but hey, it’s a living!

Disclaimer: We were provided a PnP of The Druid Master for the purposes of this preview. The artwork and design of the cards is not yet finalized, so what you see pictured below is not necessarily what the production copies will look like. It is also important to note that although the game is about natural medicines/remedies, it does not replace professional medical advice and treatments. -L

In The Druid Master, players will take on the roles of (you guessed it) Druids who have mastered the ancient arts of healing, through use of plants, herbs, and other natural elements. Ailing patients will come to you (and your rivals) for help, so you must work quickly to concoct the most effective remedy to heal them back to normal! To setup for a game, each player receives a Player Screen, 1 Effect card, and 7 Plant cards. The remaining Effect and Plant cards are shuffled to form draw decks, and the Event deck is placed nearby as well. Place the deck of Patient cards facedown within reach of all players, and set the Cure tokens to the side. The game is now ready to begin!

Over the course of 8 rounds, players will be using Plant and Effect cards to best help the ailing Patient for each given round. Once the 8th and final Patient card has been resolved, points will be counted to determine the ultimate Druid Master! To start a round, an Event card will be revealed. These Events will alter the round in some way, putting your strategic thinking to the test. For example, an Event card might limit the number of cards you can play this round. After the Event is resolved, the Patient card will be revealed for all players to see. The Patient will have a list of symptoms/ailments, with a percentage corresponding to the severity of the issue. Each player will then secretly select 1-3 Plant cards from their hand to be used to heal the Patient. The different Plant cards offer remedies for the various symptoms/ailments, and also list a corresponding percentage as to how much it will help. Effect cards can also be used during this phase of the game to obtain bonuses/negatively affect opponents. Use them wisely!


Once everyone is ready, all Plant cards will be revealed, and players will determine who has best cured the Patient. Compare the percentages on your Plant cards against those of the Patient – if you have failed to completely cure a symptom, take a Cure token that represents the missing percentages from your played cure. When all Plant cards have been checked, the player that was able to Cure the Patient completely (was able to match all Patient percentages with their played Plant cards) is the winner of the round. They will take the Patient card for end-game scoring. If nobody completely Cured the Patient, the player who accumulated the least number of Cure tokens (thus curing the most Patient percentages of the group) wins the round and collects the Patient card. All Plant and Effect cards used this round are discarded, and each player will draw 2 new Plant cards for the next round. Play continues in this fashion until the 8th Patient has been Cured. Players will count up their points earned from Cured Patients, and the player with the highest score is named the winning Druid Master!
I should say right off the bat that I’m not really a person who is into natural medicine. But my personal preferences do not stop me from playing and enjoying The Druid Master. If you think about it, natural medicine is very thematically appropriate for fantasy worlds, so it makes sense in this setting. Ok, so what about the gameplay? It is very straight-forward, which lends itself to fast teaching, learning, and playing. Ultimately, you are trying to match your Plant cards as best you can to the Patient card in play. And since you can only play a maximum of 3 cards each round, you really have to consider your options. If you aren’t able to completely Cure the Patient, can you play your Plant cards in such a way that you will collect the fewest Cure tokens? It’s all about how you strategize. Another thing that I really like about the gameplay is that all Plant cards are selected secretly and revealed simultaneously. So nobody is at an advantage by being able to see that an opponent was not 100% successful. It adds a little element of risk and hidden information to the game that makes it more engaging.


As I mentioned earlier, this is a PnP version of the game, so these components are not what will be received in a production copy. Also, the card layouts and artwork are not completely finalized either. But going on what I have, I do like the simplicity of the components. The symbolism is clear, the percentages are easy to read, and the text/pictures are informational as well. Once this game is printed on real cards and with cardboard tokens, I know it will be a decent quality production.
So overall, how does The Druid Master fare? I’d say fairly well. The rules and gameplay are straight-forward, it is fast and easy to teach and play, and it keeps all players engaged throughout the entire game. This is certainly not the most complicated or heavy game in existence, but it does offer hints of strategy that will keep the gameplay fresh and players invested. If you are looking for a nice little filler-type game set in a fantasy realm, I would recommend checking out The Druid Master. It is coming to Kickstarter soon, so be on the lookout!
  
Castle Dice
Castle Dice
2013 | Dice Game, Medieval
Ahh castle building. One of my favorite pastimes. Well, medieval building games, anyway. I love ’em! So put together medieval building with a bunch of dice and that should make a hit right? Well, yes, but I fear this game has flown under the radar for too long! Why do I like it, but more importantly why does it get so little love?


Castle Dice is a dice and resource management game that pits players against each other to build the greatest castle in the land. It is played over seven rounds and when the seventh round is complete players will tally up VPs to declare a winner!
To setup place the Turn Tracker board where players can see it. Shuffle each of the differently-backed Castle Deck, Village Deck, and Market Deck from which players will be drawing cards throughout the game. Assemble piles of Villager Tokens, Animals, and all dice. Each player receives their own playmat and five Tracking Beads placed just like the photo above. The game may now begin!

Castle Dice spans seven rounds with each round following a strict order of play. This play order and any special effects of the round are conveniently printed on the playmats and Turn Tracker respectively. The Turn Tracker will display which type of dice each player will take from the pool, roll, and add to the World Pool – to which every player will have access. The turn order will show all the phases of each round (which will not be thoroughly covered in this review, but will be at least mentioned): Determine first player, Draw cards, “Choice Dice”, Roll dice, Gather dice, Market, Workers produce, Merchants, Build castle parts, Barbarians.


Players will be able to draw cards from either the Castle or Village decks to supply their hand limit of five and give the player options to build at different phases of the game. Each round players will have standard dice to cull and roll from the pile, but also a choice of any dice type they prefer to be added to the World Pool in the next phase. After the World Pool has been populated with all the dice the players have rolled, each player will then choose a die from the World Pool one at a time around the table in player order. These dice will show resources (Wood, Stone, Gold, Land, and Iron), animals (Pig, Chicken, Cow, Horse), and Barbarians. By hiring Workers and Guards players will be able to produce more resources and subsequently protect them from raiding Barbarians who wish to drain players of one of each of their resources at the end of the round. The Build action is self-explanatory as players will be spending resources gathered to build castle parts using cards from their hand. Play continues in this very structured fashion until the end of seven rounds. Whichever player has amassed the greatest amount of VP from having the most animals, most villagers, Bards, and built castle parts will be the winner!
Components. Castle Dice is sold in a large box – a little wider than Kingdomino’s box, about two inches longer, and about three times as tall (still taller or thicker than Legendary Marvel, Harry Potter Hogwart’s Battle, and The 7th Continent). So there are a lot of components, and they are all good quality. The cards are nice, the boards are thick, but glossy (boo), and the dice are all fine. I question the use of the red Tracking Beads, as they are a little too large to fit in the areas they are designed to track, and a simple wooden cube would have been just as effective and fit the space better. Perhaps I will de-bling mine to boring cubes, or find something else more suitable. The art style, though, is very lovable and cute. Except the Farmer, who seems to have a large dangle of snot hanging out of his or her nose. Being from the Midwest I see a lot of farmers, and I know that they aren’t always super snotty. Maybe they were back in the Medieval Period, but it is a strange detail in the art. Overall though I am very impressed with the quality of the components.

I am similarly impressed overall with the gameplay. I am not incredibly Type A, but I think I lean that way, and having a game with very strict phases of play with a definite end game trigger is very appreciated. I absolutely LOVE how each round is plainly shown on the Turn Tracker and similarly how each phase is clearly printed on each playmat. These notifications eliminate the need for reference cards/sheets/what have you, and I applaud the design team for this. One of my gaming pet peeves is needing to reference the rulebook every turn because I am unsure of what I do next or being worried that I have forgotten a step. No need here – it is all in front of me.

Playing the game is also quite enjoyable. I do not know many gamers who hate games utilizing dice, and typically the more dice the better. Well Castle Dice comes with 64 custom dice and it just feels good to be rolling seven or eight dice each round. But the coolest part is that each player has the standard dice to roll but also several “Choice Dice” that can be of any flavor. That doesn’t necessarily mean they will end up gathering those dice, but they will be options for all players. That is a unique twist that I thoroughly enjoy. Also the balancing act of wanting to do 34 things on your turn, but not having the time to accomplish it adds that level of danger I like in my games. Those dang Barbarians! Overall Purple Phoenix Games gives Castle Dice a non-boogery-farmer’s 14 / 18. It’s a great game and if you see it in the wild pick it up! You will have a good time with it.
  
Bob Ross: Art of Chill Game
Bob Ross: Art of Chill Game
2017 | Card Game, Dice Game, Entertainment
Bob Ross is a household name in the United States and has been for quite a while. The man is a legend and part of the Trinity of Mankind (which also includes Mister Rogers and Steve Irwin). Anyone who has watched this man paint instantly recognizes a beautiful human being with extreme talent and the ability to lull audiences into a state of euphoria as he paints mountains, creeks, cabins, and trees. And of course, every one should have a friend. His wholesomeness goes to 11! So what do I find one day whilst perusing the strange board game wares in my local Target one day three years ago but a Bob Ross game. I wasn’t expecting much, but had to have it for nostalgic reasons. Was my money wasted or is there something in this box worth actually playing?


Bob Ross: Art of Chill is a set collection, hand management, card drafting game that has its players attempting to complete masterful paintings before the master does in order to collect bonus “chill points” to win the game. Whomever manages to reach ultimate chill status will be victorious and can return to feeding Peapod, their rascally pocket squirrel.
To setup, place the easel and one of the shuffled painting panels upon it. Place the other panels (paintings) nearby. Place the main scoreboard nearby as well and place the shuffled Chill Cards on its space upon the board. The Technique Cards deck and the Art Supplies Card decks will be shuffled separately and placed below the board with four cards from each deck revealed as an offer. Place the Bob Mover (Bobeeple) on the easel in the first location printed on the panel. Each player will receive a palette, the scoring cube of their color to be placed on the scoreboard, the three Feature Markers, and three random Art Supplies Cards. The game may now begin!

On a turn players will be rolling the Bob die and carrying out its action. These actions are playing a paint card from hand onto their palette, drawing one Art Supplies Card from the deck to their hand, performing one free Action prior to the Action phase, or resolving the Bob die face. The Bob die face requires players to reveal a new Chill Card and resolve its immediate effects, or effects that will remain in play until a new Chill Card is revealed. Secondly, the Bobeeple will move to the next printed stopping point on the panel.

Once the die has been rolled and resolved, the active player will be able to take any three actions available in any order: Draw an Art Supplies Card (from the deck or from the offer), Sweep the Art Supplies Card (discard all face-up cards and reveal four new ones), Apply Paint to Your Palette (by placing it on your palette from your hand of cards), Wash Your Palette (by discarding cards from one of the palette areas to clear it), Earn a Technique Card (by discarding two like-cards from the hand of cards in order to score more VP for painting features in the future), or Paint a Feature (by discarding the required brush from the player’s hand of cards and the correct matching paints already applied to their palette).


Once complete, the next player will take their turn of rolling the die and completing three actions. Should players paint a feature on the panel before Bob moves to that spot on the panel the player(s) will gain extra bonus Chill points. Players may still paint features for points if Bob already has as well, they just will not receive the bonus Bob points. Turns will continue in this fashion until the moment one player has reached ultimate Chill and won the game.
Components. This game has a fair amount of components and I am happy to say they are all great! The cardboard components (palettes, score board) are good. The cards are all lovely linen-finished. The other player components are fine as well. The painting panels are excellent and feature actual Bob Ross masterpieces, and there are 15 double-sided panels in the box! The coolest component is certainly the easel though. It seems to be a somewhat real and functional easel (not that you would really want to paint on it) and it amps up the table appeal when setup and in play. I love the components and I am so glad that Big G Creative made a Bob Ross game with beautiful components. Anything less would be sacrilege.

It probably comes as no surprise that I love this game. I have always loved watching Bob Ross from when I was a child even up through my adulthood and I am relieved to be able to still watch him in action via Netflix. The game, though, is rather surprising. I certainly wasn’t expecting to like this as much as I do and was quite shocked to find out that there was actual substance in a Bob Ross game. Especially when it was stationed next to “games” like Who Wants to Be a Millionaire, Throw Throw Burrito, and the like. I enjoy the nostalgia in seeing my favorite colors in my hands like Phthalo Blue, Cadmium Orange, and Sap Green.

I don’t know if I would really consider this a gateway game, though I believe it really depends on the gamers with whom you are playing. There will be many times when you are concentrating on collecting the colors needed to finish a feature before Bob only to frustratingly never see that color on offer nor in the cards you draw and then the painting has to be refreshed because people can’t seem to stop rolling Bob on the die. However, if you play with people who can literally chill when things don’t go their way, this is a gem. Purple Phoenix Games gives Bob Ross: Art of Chill a 21 / 24. The only thing missing here is a way to, “beat the devil out of it,” and it would make my heart sing.
  
Forest Fighters
Forest Fighters
2020 | Card Game
My back yard at my house is half lawn and the back half is woods. The woods are expansive and house many species of wildlife, some of which I care not to ever see. I have squirrels running through my yard and up my trees all the time. I have deer running freely through the neighborhood, and those dang raccoons to tear up my yard when it’s grub season. So when I heard about Forest Fighters being a game about squirrels and possibly fighting against raccoons I knew it had to be reviewed.

Forest Fighters pits players against each other, being rival squirrel clans preparing to gather acorns for the winter. Only one clan can succeed because there is but one oak tree in the entire forest from which acorns may be gathered. Players will be recruiting other animal species onto their side by way of deck building game mechanics and using gained cards to send to battle against their opponents.

DISCLAIMER: We were provided a copy of this game for the purposes of this review. This is a retail copy of the game, so what you see in these photos is exactly what would be received in your box. I do not intend to cover every single rule included in the rulebook, but will describe the overall game flow and major rule set so that our readers may get a sense of how the game plays. For more in depth rules, you may purchase a copy online or from your FLGS. -T


To setup, separate the cards into their respective decks. Deal each player five Forager Squirrels, two Acorns, and three Blackberries. This creates the 10 card deck players will shuffle and begin the game playing. Players will also choose 12 other animal deck types to use for the game and display all the decks within reach of all players. Each player will then draw the top five cards from their shuffled deck to create their starting hand. The game may now begin!
On a turn a player will use all the cards from their hand to purchase new cards from the main display to be added to their discard pile, like every other deck building game out there. The cards have multiple uses, however, and up to two currency values. Most animals will be recruited using Food (like Blackberries and Honey), and Food cards can mostly be obtained by using Forage values. Example: the starter Forager Squirrel can be used as one Food, one Forage, or even one Attack.

Speaking of Attack, on a player’s turn, should they be done shopping for other cards, they may attempt to attack an opponent using animal cards in their hand. Players will add up the Attack value on the cards they wish to use and declare an opponent who will reveal cards whose Defense value meets or exceeds the Attack value. Should the attacker win they will be able to take possession of Blackberries and Honey cards in the loser’s hand, send an animal back to its stack, or take all the Acorn cards. Acorns are both VP and the determining factor in ending the game; once all Acorn cards have been purchased the game is over.


Each animal card recruited will also have a special ability that can be used during a turn, and some of them are quite powerful. Turns continue in this fashion until either all Acorns have been purchased or all players except one have been eliminated. A player is eliminated once they can no longer purchase cards and have no more animals in their deck.
Components. Let me tell you about the good and the okay. The rulebook is a small pamphlet style that has only five pages of rules. And honestly, if you have played deck builders before, could have only taken one page. I like that. There is just enough information to get the game going, but doesn’t explain every card’s abilities, or throw in three pages of game art. Similarly, if any questions arise with card abilities, the card dividers provide more text to help clear up the questions. The cards are all good quality, and there are a ton of them.

The okay part of the game is the art on the cards. It is not at all bad, but it could use a different art style to be a bit more attractive. The last little concern I have is the design of the box. The size, shape, color, and all that is fine. What I wish was different was having the title of the game on all sides. My shelves are organized in a way that I try to pack as much as I can into the space by orienting the boxes to be as small and deep as possible so that the smallest side of the box is showing. I cannot do that with Forest Fighters because the smallest sides have a few art slides and credits. Honestly, this isn’t quite as egregious as some games (I’m looking at you, Oceans), so it’s not a huge deal, but worth mentioning for me.

All in all the game is a solid deck-builder with that extra bit of attacking and stealing from opponents. I have never been a fan of Dominion as I find its themelessness boring and its mechanics antiquated. Now, I think I might be able to use Forest Fighters as a gateway deck builder that is more interesting, but still considered light for new gamers.

I am kind of sad that I missed the Kickstarter for this one because I would have liked to have splurged for the higher tier (those yummy extras), but I am happy to have added Forest Fighters to my collection. I believe it is a great entry into deck-building and if you are looking to find a similar game with a cute theme, an interesting new take on the genre, and can play up to five comfortably, then I recommend you give this one a try. I think you’ll like it. Just don’t ever use the raccoons against me or I will be attacking you every turn.