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Extraordinary Adventures: Pirates
Extraordinary Adventures: Pirates
2019 | Nautical, Pirates, Racing
I feel like I try to open pirate-themed games with silly faux pirate talk and it’s getting old. So I won’t do that this time. What I will do is start by saying we reviewed another Forbidden Games title (Raccoon Tycoon) to very high praise, so we expect nothing but greatness now. Does Extraordinary Adventures: Pirates! (or from now on just Pirates) match the quality we enjoy in Raccoon Tycoon? Yarr.


Pirates is a piratey, deck-building, racing game for two to six players attempting to reach Trinidad with the most VP and greatest booty (interpret that as you will). To setup, lay the humongous board on the table and populate the merchant ship locations with the appropriate number of supply crates pulled blindly from the bag. Each player will place one of their ships on the starting locations of each of the three tracks upon the board. Shuffle the Merchant Deck and place it in its position on the board face-down. Shuffle the Port Deck and set it near the board face-down but reveal the top three cards as the offer. Shuffle the treasure tiles and reveal a number of them equal to three times the number of players plus one more. Give each player their starting deck to shuffle and then draw five as a starting hand. The race may now begin!
On a player’s turn they will play three cards from their hand and “move their ships accordingly” says the rulebook. Initially we were not sure if that meant movement cards could all be played to the same ship or each of the three cards needed to be assigned to each of the player ships on the three different tracks so we decided to use the latter rule logic. Cards will contain a number in the lower right hand corner to signify how many spaces a ship may move this turn. Some cards will also have a special power written beside the movement number that may be used instead of the movement. The starting deck contains one card that will be able to thin the deck using this type of special power.


When a player’s ship meets either a Merchant ship or moves into a Port the movement ends immediately to resolve these encounters. When plundering a Merchant ship players will simply swipe the supply crates from the board and draw a Merchant card to their discard pile. When in Port, players will be able to draw one of the face-up Port cards in the offer or the top card from the face-down draw deck. In addition, players will be able to use the supply crates collected as currency to purchase the revealed treasure tiles near the board for VP at game end. Once all card have been played and subsequent actions played as a result the next player takes their turn. Play continues in this fashion until one ship reaches Trinidad and ends the game. The pirate captain with the most VP from cards, treasure tiles, and placement on each track will be the winner with the greatest booty (not in the rules, but I like to play that way).
Components. We were impressed with the components in Raccoon Tycoon, but Pirates scores well above it in component impressiveness. The board is massive and features incredible art. It looks just like a map and it’s simply gorgeous. The cards are all fine quality and the art on them is very good. The true component stars in this game are the supply crates and the player ships. Okay, so I love playing games that feel deluxe. I’m sure I’m not alone with that statement, but when I tell you that these little crates are amazing I meant it. How easy would it have been to just throw in a bunch of colored wooden cubes like 98% of games and call it a day? Easy peasy. But no, not good enough. Pirates goes the extra mile and gives us molded plastic (or resin, idk I’m not a chemist) boxes that look like supply boxes. And the pirate ships? The same super incredibly quality. They are minis where standees could have worked just fine. And they are DETAILED. I love them so much. Components score a big time happy face from us.

But the gameplay. Components are great but make the game they do not. However, having these great components only enhance the already wonderful gameplay here. I love deck-building games and it might be my favorite style of game. I also genuinely love when games throw in additional styles to complement the deck-building. Don’t get me wrong, we all love our Legendary: Marvel DBG (it’s a Golden Feather Award winner after all), but that’s just straight up deck-building. I quite enjoy another little deck-builder that adds a map and an additional way to use the deck-building cards in harmony: Trains. In Pirates we have deck-building paired with racing on a giant board. It just fits the piratey theme so well and combines deck-building with what I love from the game Jamaica.

It’s no surprise that I personally rated this quite high. Though not all our team has had a chance to play it yet, I believe they would all love it as much as I do. Purple Phoenix Games gives Extraordinary Adventures: Pirates! a plunderingly wunderful (I did that on purpose) 11 / 12. Want to add to your deck-building experience with a race using excellent components and art? Pick up a copy from your FLGS today!
  
Arcane Arena
Arcane Arena
2020 | Card Game, Fantasy, Fighting
The Tournament of Champions is coming! The Tournament of Champions is coming! The bravest fighters must prepare themselves to face-off in a three-round arena match to determine the ultimate warrior. There is no time to waste learning finishing moves here. Combatants will only have three rounds to prove they are superior in this all-out brawl!

Arcane Arena is an arena-style fighting card game. In it players will take on the mantle of a warrior competing in this brutal last-man-standing battle royale. They will need to train and learn new techniques and then show their opponents all they have learned. The game takes place over three rounds of increasing actions and, truly, the last warrior standing will be crowned Champion!

DISCLAIMER: We were provided a prototype copy of this game for the purposes of this review. These are preview copy components, and I do not know for sure if the final components will be any different from these shown. Also, it is not my intention to detail every rule in the game, as there are just too many. You are invited to download the rulebook, back the game through the Kickstarter campaign, or through any retailers stocking it after fulfillment. -T


To setup, refer to the rules to deal each player their starting deck of Buy, Move, and Attack cards. Remove all Focus and Wound cards and make a stack for each on the side of the play area. Shuffle the remaining “Trainer” cards and create a market of six cards to be purchased. Set the arena board on the table and populate it with player tokens and Favor tokens (glass beads in this prototype). Each player shuffles their starting deck and draws four cards to create their starting hand. The tournament is now prepared for warriors.
Arcane Arena features three rounds of two phases each. The first round has players limited to three turns during the first training phase and 10 hit points for the second phase of the game.

The first phase of each round is the Training Phase. During this phase players are able to use their four cards “as a buy” for their purchasing power. The player lays a card, announces it is as a buy, tallies the currency to be spent, and then purchases a card from the collection of six cards in the offer or one Focus card from its stack. Once completed with their Training Phase, the player will restock the trainer pool of cards for purchase. It is then the next player’s turn to complete their Training Phase.

Once all players have had their Training Phase, the Combat Phase begins with the active player. The active player must play cards for either their Move, Effect, or Attack keywords. Each card will instruct the player the amount of Move they can use, which Effect can be used and how, and how many Attack points of damage they inflict on a target within range.


Play continues in this fashion with each player playing as many cards from their hand of four as they wish until only one player remains with hit points. If it is the third such round of Combat Phase (5 turns at the Training Phase and 20 HP during Combat) then the last player standing is the winner!
Components. Again, this is a prototype copy of the game, so some components will be different from the finished version. That said, this game has decent components planned and the art style is interesting, with hints of a more ancient style. The iconography on the cards is okay: I did find myself trying to figure out what the icon for “purchase” actually was, so it threw me off a couple times. Similarly, the effect bar on the card is very small and can easily be overlooked if the players are not constantly checking for that bar for information.

Gameplay for Arcane Arena is something with which I am struggling to describe. I have always been poor with arena-style games that have players moving around and attacking. It is so difficult for me to abandon my Barbarian-style of just blocking movement and wailing on a stationary enemy. Once movement is expected I am a fish out of water. That is not at all a knock on Arcane Arena, but on my style of play. However, if I belong to a group of gamers with similar style be warned: there’s a lot of opportunity for movement here and it may be uncomfortable at first.

I do like the theme of the game and its implementation. I can understand the premise and relate it to the gameplay. I like that it is split between two distinct phases and having cards with multiple usage is a positive for me. I also enjoy that every time a new phase begins all players combine their cards, shuffle, and draw a hand of four cards. This is new for me, as in typical deckbuilders the card just purchased usually goes directly into the discard pile only to be drawn on much later turns. Such is not with this one. A card just purchased may be drawn immediately in the next Combat Phase, depending on luck of the shuffle and draw.

So while I do not enjoy the moving around the arena aspect of the game, all else is good for me. If you are similar to me I would say give it a shot, but it may be difficult to be successful if, like me, you plan to be a stalwart rock instead of a nimble wisp. If Arcane Arena sounds like your cup of tea, do check it out when it comes available!
  
Bandada
Bandada
2020 | Card Game, Dice Game
Though I may not look it, I am indeed half Mexican. That said, the word, “Bandada,” means, “Flock.” I don’t really get to flex my Spanish skills often, and it shows. I definitely looked up the word Bandada before reading the rules this time. In any case, as gamers we all belong to the same nerdy flock of people who just like to have a great time with friends, family, and some colorful cardboard and plastic. Birds and other flying creatures have been all the rage recently, but will I be adding this one to my flock of gems?

In Bandada players are attempting to catch and return birds that have escaped from the local zoo. These birds are attracted to different food morsels (namely black, blue, and yellow dice) and by manipulating the food source players may be able to catch all the right birdies and score tons of points.

DISCLAIMER: We were provided a prototype copy of this game for the purposes of this review. These are preview copy components, and I do not know for sure if the final components will be any different from these shown. Also, it is not my intention to detail every rule in the game, as there are just too many. You are invited to download the rulebook, back the game through the Kickstarter campaign, or through any retailers stocking it after fulfillment. -T

Disclaimer the second: I am previewing this using the Solo Adventure Variant, which uses many of the same rules as the main multiplayer rules with a few twists.

To setup the solo player will roll all 12 dice and sort them by color. Shuffle the bird cards and reveal three cards face-up in a market row. Grab a scoring cube for the score card, and choose which location card to play. Select (randomly or not) a bonus scoring card and the game may begin!


There are other optional variant rules that can be added to the adventure, but I will not be detailing those here.
Turns are divided into two phases: the Drafting phase and the Cleanup phase. During the Drafting phase the player will choose one of the face-up bird cards to be added to their personal bandada, perform the action described on the top of the card, and then add it to their bandada (personal tableau).

After drafting and bandada-ing the player will perform the Cleanup phase by scoring points based on the bird card abilities printed on the bottom, discarding the remaining face-up cards, and then adding three new birds cards to that market row. This phase differs from the multiplayer rules in that birds are scored once added to the bandada in multiplayer and then again during the Cleanup phase. In the solo mode they are scored only once at the end of the Cleanup phase.

The bird cards all have actions printed at the top that will manipulate the food dice in some way. Actions could simply give the birds a specific number of colored dice and adjust the value up or down. Some abilities will have the player flipping the dice to the opposite side, or adjusting multiple dice by splitting a positive or negative value. Of note in this game is that dice values wrap around the die. For example to increase the value of a 6 die it then wraps around to become a value 1. Manipulation of these food dice will make or break the game success, as I found in all my plays.


The game continues in this fashion until after the fourth full round. The player then totals their score on the score card, adds the points from the bonus card chosen at the beginning, and checks for the victory condition on the location card (the rules suggest starting in Africa). If the player has met the victory condition, the trip was a success! If, like me, the player fails to make 35 points in Africa every time, they must play again!
Components. Again, this is a prototype copy of the game, but I have to say that this is a beautiful minimalistic game. It consists of primarily dice and cards. The dice are translucent and good quality, though translucent yellow with white pips can be hard to read at times. The cards are good quality as well and feature breathtaking avian art. It really does look great on the table and doesn’t take up a ton of room, so I have very few negatives here.

Gameplay is super speedy and agonizing for a solo player. Maximizing points on every turn and having to consider specific win conditions makes for a crunchy little card game that takes about 10 minutes to play. It is definitely something I will be reaching for whenever I have a spare 15 minutes. With setup and teardown I am looking at a fulfilling, if not frustrating, card game experience that can be both anxiety-triggering and also quite calming. I was not sure what to expect when I opened the box, but boy am I glad I have this little gem.

If you are in the market for a great little solo game that can also play multiplayer, looks amazing, and is quick to complete, then look no further. If you are an avian aficionado and need your board and card game collection to reflect this, check out Bandada. I need you all to also promise to write me back once you figure out how to succeed in Africa, as I just plum can’t do it. But I am going to keep trying. As I always say, a game that makes you want to play it more is a mark of a great game, and I think a great game comes in this little box.
  
Pride and Prejudice and Zombies (2016)
Pride and Prejudice and Zombies (2016)
2016 | Comedy, Horror, Romance
A film for all those women who dream of chivalry, but want to kick some ass.
Contains spoilers, click to show
"It is a truth universally acknowledged that a zombie in possession of brains must be in want of more brains."

A mysterious plague has fallen across England. The countryside is a relative haven, where the city has become a playground for unmentionables. The oriental arts have become the fashion and a desirable young lady no longer needs to be the prim and proper wife, unless your name is Mr Collins.

The Bennet's lovely daughters, beautiful and strong of body and mind are accustomed to a regimented life of training, until the handsome stranger Mr Bingley comes to the country. A whirlwind of romance and the undead lead them into a battle for family and love.

Heaving bosoms, country estates. Brain eating corpses and assorted weaponry. Everything you'd expect when the undead meets Jane Austen. As if on cue my playlist has shuffled to Zombie by The Cranberries. I can't deny enjoying this film, I should point out that I was always going to enjoy it, be it Oscar or Razzie worthy. It definitely had the potential to be an epic re-watchable classic or the B-movie winner that shone from the book.

When it was first published I picked it up almost instantly and soon found Quirk Books and other crossover books developing a little shrine-like area. [Now given pride of place in my nerd room.] Having a dislike of classics embedded in me from school and enjoying the general kick-assery of action films, it was a great crossover to bring those classics back into my life.
 
Admission time, while I've read the book I can't actually remember when, it was dozens of books ago. I loved it but not everyone did. I'm going to make a big sweeping statement. [Sorry, not sorry] It's not a Jane Austen book people, get over it. "He's ruined Elizabeth Bennet!" No he's taken a strong minded female character and put her in a new fantasy setting. I'm sure there would have been less objections if all the names were different (and the title too) and it was just described as "loosely based on Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice". But swings and roundabouts, because it probably wouldn't have been as popular if it wasn't called Pride and Prejudice and Zombies.

Sam Riley's Mr Darcy was no Colin Firth, but it was still very good. It did kind of seem like they threw him in a lake because they felt they should pay homage to Firth's dunking.

Note to those who see the film, Liz Bennet's heaving bosom is seen on a regular basis and is entirely distracting. I'm not sure there's a plot line linked to them, they're just always there, they probably should have got their own credit for the part.

I think my favourite scene was where Darcy came to Elizabeth to proclaim his love... and then they proceed to beat each other with sticks, books, basically whatever is to hand. Heated and packed with sexual tension it made for entertaining viewing. It also reminded me of the scene in Buffy where the slayer and Spike fight in an abandoned building, and the amount of sexual tension between the pair results in breaking the building, amongst other things... but those other things probably wouldn't work so well in Austen's time.

Even with all the bits that brought a smile to my face and made for enjoyable watching, there were some things I couldn't help but be annoyed with.


Firstly, Matt Smith, my dear number 11... [insert long silence here] I know Mr Collins is there for the annoying comic relief and awkwardness but oh my god. It was too much and I was overcome with annoyance. The cast is made up of relatively unknown people, with the exceptions of Charles Dance, Sally Phillips and Matt Smith. I can't help but wonder if Mr Collins would have been easier to deal with if he was an unknown actor.

The camera work had its own peculiarities. Some shots were taken from the zombies point of view. They were blurred and frustrating to watch, I can't really tell what it added. I'm sure it would have added a bit more drama if you'd seen the potential victim being run at. Again, I'm not an expert in showbiz filming but I'm fairly certain that making your audience want to throw up is not the idea. Right near the end there is a shot that perfectly portrays the devastation of the situation...

"How should we get across the devastation of the city and cut out to the next scene?"
"Spin the camera round until people want to vomit?"
"GENIUS!"

I sat there feeling a bit woozy, trying to avoid looking at the screen for the whole thing. I'm not sure either of the fancy styles really improved anything.

My only other wonder about the film is whether it should have gone all out spoof. This was a sensible spoof [relatively speaking], in that it wasn't made specifically for laughs. It did have some, but there were also some moments of emotion too. Should they have played the film out for more comedy? Who knows, but I feel the scene where Darcy and Elizabeth are stabbing a field to kill zombies that are buried underneath was completely wasted in a sensible spoof!

All in all I did enjoy it, but for those of you looking to see it at the cinema I'm not sure it's worth a £10 ticket. Well worth it if you have an offer of some description though. Just remember going in to it that it isn't Jane Austen, it's just your run of the mill zombie period drama... wow, never thought I'd say that sentence.
  
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Smashbomb (4683 KP) created a post in Smashbomb AMA

Jul 12, 2019  
AMA: SANDHYA MENON (AUTHOR)
ANSWERS
Author @Sandhya Menon has answered YOUR questions in Smashbomb's AMA.

On your FAQ, you mention you re-read Twilight. Do you enjoy re-reading any other books?
I re-read The Shining by Stephen King every autumn in preparation for the winter months! It’s the perfect creepy winter book, I think. I also tend to re-read Sophie Kinsella—I’m a diehard fan!

What advice would you give to your younger self?
Keep going. There’s definitely a seat for you at the table if you keep writing what you love and keep improving at your craft.

Do you base the characters in your books off of people you know?
My characters are always amalgams of people I know or have known, including me!

What magical creatures do you wish were real?
Fairies! I’ve wanted to be friends with Tinkerbell for a very long time now.
 
What is a genre you would love to write a book in but been too scared to touch and why?
I don’t think there’s any genre I’m afraid to touch, necessarily, but I do wonder if some genres I’d love to write in are a good fit for my brand of fiction. For instance, I’d love to write a few super-dark, twisty, atmospheric books, but I might have to write those under a pen name!
 
What plot device do you feel has been overly used in books?
I don’t think any plot device is overdone unless it’s harmful or bigoted in some fashion. Other than that, it’s all about the author’s unique voice and the spin only they can put on the tropes and devices we know and love (or love to hate)!
 
What do you believe is the most underrated franchise in literature that should get more readers?
Quite a few!
Most recently, I really wanted the book The Belles by Dhonielle Clayton to blow up and get its own movie and TV show and graphic novel and theme park and I’m still bitter that hasn’t happened (yet). I also really adore the Timber Wolves series by Tammy Blackwell and am sorely disappointed they haven’t caught on as much as I feel they deserve to! And I absolutely loved Damocles by S.G. Redling, but almost no one I know has read it, which makes me very sad.

Do you have a favourite character from your books and why?
Gosh, an author picking a favorite character is kind of like a parent picking a favorite child; almost no one could bring themselves to do that! I love all my characters for different reasons.

Which book did you have the most fun thinking up and writing?
I’m really super-excited about my upcoming contemporary fairy tale retelling series. The first book is called Of Curses and Kisses and has a sprinkling of Beauty and the Beast. It follows an Indian princess who must con a misanthropic British aristocrat into falling in love with her to avenge her family’s honor.
There’s no outright magic, but there’s a lot of “is the curse real or isn’t it” ambiguity that was so much fun to write. I dreamed the story three years ago and am so excited it’s finally going to be in bookstores soon!
I’m thrilled to say my UK publisher Hodder and Stoughton has picked it up, so Of Curses and Kisses will be available in the UK in February of 2020!

How much of the books did you write based on personal experiences vs purely fiction you thought up?
All of my books are based loosely on my own experiences with a heaping helping of fiction thrown into the mix! For instance, like Rishi in When Dimple Met Rishi, I struggled a lot with the arts (in my case, writing) not being a “real” or acceptable enough career path for my family. And like Dimple, I struggled with well-meaning adults who told me my biggest mission in life was finding and keeping a husband!
Like Twinkle in From Twinkle, with Love, I worried a lot that no one would be interested in the stories I wanted to tell with my pen (she wants to tell them with her camera). I looked at all the bestselling books or the books being taught to me, and none of the writers looked like me or had a name like mine. Twinkle faces something similar when she looks at the biggest, most successful movies and the often white, male directors who direct them.
And Sweetie’s struggle with her weight and fat-shaming in There’s Something about Sweetie came directly from my own experiences as a fat adult at various points in my life.
 Have you read anything that made you think differently about fiction?
So many things! In high school, I read the short story The Yellow Wallpaper by Charlotte Perkins Gilman and for the first time truly understood how powerful an unreliable narrator could be. Reading Ellen Hopkins’ Crank back when it first came out was such an eye-opener for me about the flexibility of story structure.

Do you read your book reviews? How do you deal with bad or good ones?
I don’t! I’m one of those authors who believes that reviews are for other readers. I get my feedback from a trusted few sources who’ve been with me since the beginning.

How many unpublished and half-finished books do you have?
Too many to count, honestly! I think all authors have a metaphorical trunk full of unfinished work and I’m no different. I have all of these folders on my computer with half-finished stories and novels I’m still very partial to. Sometimes bits and pieces of them make their way into my current books and that’s such a satisfying feeling!

Thanks to Sandhya and her great answers!
  
SAIBOU
SAIBOU
2019 | Card Game, Educational, Kids Game, Medical, Puzzle
Do you ever get that feeling where you just want to simulate the growth of a culture of cells and the affects of bacteria and viruses within those cultures? Honestly, I never do. But I was pleasantly surprised to learn that someone had designed a game to do just that. So buckle up and let’s learn about the Saibou – the cell.

SAIBOU is “a little game of cells” and that tagline is just short of perfect. I say just short because the word “cute” has been omitted. This game is stinkin CUUUTE!! “Saibou” is the Japanese word for “cell,” and in this game the players are racing to complete a culture of cells by building a 3×3 grid of chibi cell cards. Opponents will be attempting the same as well as infecting your culture with horrible hungry bacterias and viruses to eat up your cutie cells. Luckily you have defenses and cures you can apply to keep your little culture garden thriving.

DISCLAIMER: We were provided a review copy of this game for the purposes of this review. These are preview copy components, and I do not know if the final components will be similar or different, or if the Kickstarter campaign will alter or add anything through stretch goals. -T

Setting up SAIBOU is a snap. Shuffle the big deck of square cards and deal out five to each player. On your turn play a card. It could be a cell, migrate, bacteria, virus, cure, or macrophage card. Cell cards are what you are trying to build in your culture and is your method of victory. Each cell card (except the wild) has colored half-circles on the edges that need to match up with neighboring cards to be valid plays.

Can’t seem to draw the perfect card you need? Play a migrate card and switch out an opponent’s card with one of yours (even if it has a token on it). Get that wild from your opponent and plop it right into your culture and watch them squirm. Feeling especially aggressive? Play a bacteria or virus card, place the corresponding token on the cell you want to infect and watch the devastation! Bacteria cards are of a specific color, or colors, that will be placed on cells of matching color. Viruses, however, are not so picky – they will go after ANY cell. “So what? Who cares if I contracted a virus?” Well, your culture cares because at the end of each player’s turn a bacteria or virus will consume the cell upon which it rests and then move on to the next surrounding cell. Bacteria move to matching colors, and viruses move to whichever card they can.

So, you’ve been infected. What now? Well, all is not lost. In the deck are several cure cards that picture medicine pills that can cure your culture of all bacteria and viruses. Would you like to prevent this from happening in the future? Play the white macrophage (looks like a beefcake cloud with Ray-Bans (not a sponsor)) card and place a white disc on any cell you would like to protect. That cell can no longer be a target of attack. Play continues in this fashion until someone has built a 3×3 grid and won the game!

Components. Per my disclaimer this game is still in prototype so I can only comment on the components provided to us. Keep in mind they may (and probably will) change or improve during the Kickstarter campaign. The game is a deck of cards and some plastic tokens. The cards are great and feature simply wonderful art. I totally dig the chibi style for this game and it was an inspired choice. Just looking at those cute cells instantly makes you want to protect them and creates a connection that pains you to lose them to a virus. A+ on art from me. The tokens, in this prototype version, leave much to be desired. The colors don’t really match the cards, but I am hopeful that will be improved upon as a result of the campaign for retail release. This didn’t cause ANY issues during game play, but upon teaching the game I had to reiterate that the card is actually a YELLOW cell that matches the yellow token. Perhaps the token will end up being orange to match the card because I think switching the card to yellow may cause issues when matching the colored edges. Unfortunately, that said, the colored discs on the edges of the cards (and also the corresponding tokens) do not really work with colorblindness, as there is no distinction other than color for these components. This may (and hopefully will) be considered for the final draft of the game. Luckily I do not suffer from colorblindness so I quite enjoy it all, but I need to be an advocate for those who do.

All in all this is such a lovely game that I am so happy we were able to play. The cute art and double-thinking adds so much to the game play that we just were eating up every time. Speaking of eating up, those bacteria and viruses are such powerful little bugs that can really muck up the best laid plans and create havoc on the table. It’s delicious! Note: we did not taste the game, so claims of deliciousness are for flavor only. Note 2: I guess I cannot use language without using words to describe food, even though this is not a game about food – but I would probably eat it because it looks so dang good. All this said, Purple Phoenix Games is super impressed by such a simple game, and we highly highly recommend any gamer type to check it out.
  
Citadels
Citadels
2016 | Bluff, Card Game, City Building, Fantasy, Medieval
It has been documented several times that I, Travis Lopez, would be a horrible city planner. So why do I keep playing these games that require me to build city buildings and components and why do I enjoy them so much? Well, truth be told, this is a game that I had traded for years ago, got rid of, missed terribly, and repurchased. However, this is the newer version that includes a lot more in the box. Does it mean that the game is better? More stuff means better game, right?


In Citadels players will be donning the mantle of potential Master Builders and will need to build the greatest buildings within the city and manipulate the powers of special people within its walls. The game ends when a player has built their seventh district building. The player with the most VP at this time will be crowned Master Builder and winner of Citadels!
To setup, decide which eight characters will be used in the game, gather their cards and tokens, and place their tokens in ascending order on the table. This is to remind all players which characters (and their rank) is in play. Assemble the district (building) cards per the rules and shuffle the deck. Deal each player four of these district cards along with two gold coins. The eldest player will begin the game as the current First Player (complete with crown mini) and will begin the first phase of the first round.

Citadels is played over several rounds, each with two phases played within. The first phase is the Selection Phase, where the current First Player takes the character cards, shuffles them, adds zero to two cards (dependent upon number of players) face-up on the table and one card face-down. They then choose from the cards remaining in hand which character’s powers they would like to enact for the turn. The cards are passed to the next player in line who will do the same, and so on around the table.

Once all players have chosen their character card, the Turn Phase can begin. The current First Player (the one with the crown) will announce the characters in rank order, with the lowest character going first. In a typical game using only original base characters, this is “1: Assassin.” Whomever chose the Assassin card will flip over their character card, perform its special power, and then continue with their turn. In this case, the Assassin’s special power is to announce the name of a CHARACTER to assassinate. NOTE: This does NOT mean the name of the PLAYER. So the Assassin could choose to assassinate the King character, not the Travis player. After the character has used their power, the player can continue with the rest of their turn, though some character powers may be used at any time during the player’s turn.


After the character power is used, the player will gather resources in the form of two gold coins from the bank or by drawing two district cards from the deck and choosing one to keep in hand. After this choice, the player may then build one district in their play area if they wish and if they can afford to do so. Once complete, the crowned First Player will call out the next character rank (2: Thief in our example) who will continue their turn in the same way. The game continues in this fashion until a player has built their seventh district. The round continues until all players have had an equal amount of turns. Players then count VP on district cards and bonuses per the rulebook. The player with the most VP at the end of the game is crowned the Master Builder and winner of Citadels!
Components. I have to say that I enjoyed the components in the older version of Citadels I used to have just fine. I had sleeved all my cards, and the gold coins were nice back in the day. This version, however, includes many more components and each one is higher quality than the previous version’s. The art on the cards has been updated and is much much nicer now as well. The addition of the crown mini, the character tokens, and other components not mentioned here merely increases my love for Citadels. Windrider has knocked it out of the park with this version. And that’s saying nothing about all the additional characters now included in the game! Oh boy, so much variability!

Along with that variability is the customization of the game. You can play with one of the six pre-constructed provided suggestions in the rulebook or create your own combination of different characters. With three versions of each rank, many possibilities are… possible.

I do love Citadels, and with the right group can be a show-stopper all on its own. Some players may get a little offended or sassy because there is a fair amount of Take That in Citadels with the character interactions, so if playing with people who don’t understand the difference between a game and real life, I would prep them appropriately. I love being able to outwit my opponents by drafting certain characters they didn’t think I would want. Keeping them all on their toes during the game is sneaky fun.

So for me, with the amount of replayability, high quality and excellent components, and cutthroat gameplay I simply adore Citadels. I can pull it out with different groups and have different play experiences and try to tailor the character offering to the strengths of my players, or simply use one listed in the back of the rulebook. Purple Phoenix Games gives Citadels an underhanded, yet scholarly 21 / 24. It’s a stunning, magical, wonderful game and one of Bruno Faidutti’s best ever! Surely this is already in your collection, right? If not, make it so.
  
No Such Thing as a Free Sandwich
No Such Thing as a Free Sandwich
2022 | Card Game, Humor, Party Game
I will be the first to admit that I am no master chef. When it comes to cooking, the easier the recipe, the more likely I am to make it. That being said, as I grow older in my adult life I have started taking steps to make better (and healthier) meals, but sometimes you just have to make do with what you’ve got. So when AvianRampage Productions reached out about previewing their newest game, No Such Thing as a Free Sandwich, I found it to be hilariously right up my alley. Come check out what kinds of sandwiches you can make when you have to remind yourself that “You’ve got food at home.”

Disclaimer: We were provided with a prototype copy of this game for the purposes of this preview. What you see are not finalized components or artwork, and they will change in final production. -L

No Such Thing as a Free Sandwich is a party game in which players are attempting to make the best (or worst) sandwich according to the parameters set by the current Challenge card in play. To setup for a game, shuffle the Challenge and Ingredient decks separately. Decide which side of the Challenge deck you will use – one side is black, and the reverse is white. Each side provides a different set of Challenges with which to play, and just adds some variability to the gameplay. Deal 3 Ingredient cards to each player, reveal the first Challenge card, and the game is ready to begin!

Once a Challenge card is revealed, players will look at their hand of Ingredients and place their selected Ingredients face-down in their tableau. Each Ingredient card has stats attributed to 5 different Categories: Presentation, Taste, Nutrition, Affordability, and Wow Factor. These stats, including both negative and positive numbers, are what will determine your score for the Challenge. (For example, lowest Nutrition score, greatest sum of all categories, etc.) All players must play at least 1 card each round, but can play all 3 of the cards in their hand if they so choose. Certain Ingredient cards offer special effects when played, and those powers can boost your own score, allow you to draw more Ingredients, or even pawn off an Ingredient to an opponent. Plan wisely and see what your random Ingredients can offer you each Challenge!


When all Ingredients have been selected, players simultaneously reveal their cards and tally up points. The player with the best score (best Sandwich) according to the Challenge is the winner, and takes that Challenge card for themselves. The winning player may choose to take 1 of the Ingredient cards in play into their hand, and all other Ingredient cards (regardless of if they were played or not) are re-shuffled into one deck again. The next Challenge card is revealed, all players are dealt 3 new Ingredient cards, and the next round officially begins. Players will only ever have 3 cards in their hand each round, with the previous round-winner potentially having 4 cards. The game continues in this fashion, revealing a Challenge card, playing/revealing Ingredients, and determining a round winner, until all of the Challenge cards have been played and awarded. Players then count up the Challenge cards they have won over the course of the game, and the player with the most Challenge cards is named the winner!
For being a game with a silly premise, it’s actually more engaging that you might initially think. The inclusion of 5 different categories for Ingredients is what elevates this gameplay from silly humor to actual strategy. I’m not saying this is the heaviest brain burner game you’ll ever play, but for being a light party game, you really have options each round to consider. What is the best combination of your Ingredients to meet the Challenge? Do any of your Ingredients have special effects that could enhance your round? What if you just have a bad hand and none of your Ingredients are optimal for this Challenge? You’ve just got to figure it out!

And the fact that cards are selected in secret and revealed simultaneously adds another layer as well. You can’t pick which cards to play based on what you saw an opponent play. You really have to go for the win each round since you don’t know what anybody else has in hand. The make-up of the Ingredient deck is mostly unique as well, with only a few duplicates of cards. You never really know what anyone has in hand at any point, so there’s no benefit to play it safe.


To touch on components for a minute – I mentioned that this is a prototype copy of the game, which will most likely be different in final production. That being said, this prototype is pretty good quality already. The tin that houses the game is nice and sturdy, and the cards themselves feel nice in hand and are a good size. The artwork is not yet finalized, but is mostly fine and thematic – just simple pictures of each Ingredient on the card. No real complaints on the quality of this prototype from me.
If you’re looking for a funny and fast party game, definitely consider checking out No Such Thing as a Free Sandwich on Kickstarter. The gameplay is easy and fast to learn and play, and it will keep players engaged and laughing throughout the rounds. Another plus? This game has a tiiiiiiny footprint so you can basically play it anywhere! Throw the tin in your pocket and you’ve got a game for anytime. If you want a game with a silly premise, light strategy, and a bit of math, then this might be the game for you. All in all, fun game and gameplay from AvianRampage Productions, and I look forward to following this campaign!
  
Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle (2017)
Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle (2017)
2017 | Action, Adventure, Comedy
The most fun you can have with Jack Black’s penis.
In 1995, Joe Johnston (“The Rocketeer”, “Captain America: The First Avenger”) directed “Jumanji” – a quirky, fantastical and dark film starring the late, great Robin Williams that got a rough critical reception at the time of release, but was embraced by the public and has gone on to be a modern classic. So when it was announced that a sequel was in the works 22 years later, my first reaction was “Oh no… is nothing sacred?”. It’s fair to say that I went into this flick with extremely low expectations.

But I have to say that – given this low base – I was pleasantly surprised. It’s actually quite a fun fantasy film that I predict that older kids will adore.

Seriously kick-ass. Karen Gillan – or rather one of her stunt doubles – gets hands… er… feet on with an aggressive level-character.
Initially set (neatly) in 1995, a teen – Alex (Nick Jonas, of the Jonas Brothers) unearths the board game Jumanji where it ended up buried in beach-sand at the end of the last film. “Who plays board games any more?” he scoffs, which the game hears and morphs into a game cartridge. Cheesy? Yes, but no more crazy than the goings on of the first film. Back in 2017, four high-school teens – geeky Spencer (Alex Wolff, “Patriot’s Day“); sports-jock Fridge (Ser’Darius Blain); self-obsessed beauty Bethany (Madison Iseman); and self-conscious, nerdy and shy Martha (Morgan Turner) – find the game and are sucked into it, having to complete all the game levels before they can escape.

Bethany (Madison Iseman) wishing she had her phone out for a selfie of this.
But they are not themselves in the game; they adopt the Avatars they chose to play: Dr Bravestone (Dwayne Johnson, “San Andreas“); Moose Finbar (Kevin Hart, “Get Hard“); Ruby Roundhouse (Karen Gillan, “Dr Who”, “The Circle“; “Guardians of the Galaxy“); and Professor Shelly Oberon (Jack Black, “Sex Tape“, “Kong”). Can they combine their respective game talents – and suppress the human mental baggage they brought with them – to escape the game?

Avatars all. Kevin Hart, Dwayne Johnson, Karen Gillan and Jack Black.
There was a really dark time-travelling angle to the storyline of the original film – the traumatic start of Disney’s “Flight of the Navigator” was perhaps also borrowed from the concept in the book by Chris Van Allsburg. An attempt is made to recreate this in the sequel. I felt the first film rather pulled its punches though in favour of a Hollywood happy ending: will this be the case this time?

The film delivers laughs, but in a rather inconsistent fashion – it is mostly smile-worthy rather than laugh-out-loud funny. Much fun is had with the sex change of Bethany’s character, with Jack Black’s member featuring – erm – prominently. The characters all have strengths and weaknesses, like a game of Top Trumps, and this also entertains. But the most humour derives from the “three lives and it’s game over” device giving the opportunity for various grisly ends, often relating to the above referenced weaknesses.


A weakness for cake… something many of us have, but not quite to this extent.
Given the cast that’s been signed up, the acting is not exactly first rate although Karen Gillan shines as the brightest star. But “it’s not bloody Shakespeare” so ham-acting is not that much of a problem and the cast all have fun with their roles. Dwayne Johnson in particular gets to play out of character as the ‘nerd within the hunk’, and his “smouldering look” skill – arched eyebrow and all – is hilarious. Rhys Darby, looking so much like Hugh Jackman that I had to do several double takes, also turns up as an English game-guide in a Land Rover, and Bobby Cannavale (“Ant Man“) is Van Pelt, the villain of the piece.

There has been much controversy over Karen Gillan’s child-sized outfit. But she is clearly a parallel to the well-endowed Lara Croft, and young male teens didn’t play that game for the jungle scenery! She is meant to be a hot and sexy video game character, and man – does she deliver! Gillan is not just hot in the film: she is #lavahot. This makes her comic attempts at flirting lessons (as the internally conflicted Martha) especially funny. Hats off to her stunt doubles as well, for some awe-inspiring martial arts fight scenes.

Seeing treble. Karen Gillan (centre) with her talented stunt doubles Joanna Bennett and Jahnel Curfman.
Fans of “Lost” will delight in the Jumanji scenery, surely one of the most over-used film locations in Hawaii if not the world!
Where the film gets bogged down is in too much cod-faced philosophizing over the teenager’s “journeys”. This is laid on in such a clunky manner in the early (slow!) scenes that the script could have been significantly tightened up. And as I said above the script, written (rather obviously) by a raft of writers, could have been so much funnier. Most of the humour comes from visually seeing what’s happening: not from the dialogue.

Directed by Jake Kasdan (son of director and Star Wars/Raiders screenwriter Lawrence Kasdan) it’s really not half as bad as it could have been and certainly not as bad as I feared: I would gladly watch it again. For it’s target audience, which is probably kids aged 10 to 14, I think they will love it. And, unlike many holiday films, the parents won’t be totally bored either (especially the Dads, for the obvious misogynistic reasons outlined above!).
  
Alien: Covenant (2017)
Alien: Covenant (2017)
2017 | Horror, Sci-Fi
Horrific Beasts and How to Avoid Them.
I seem to be in a bit of a minority in quite liking Ridley Scott’s last Alien outing – 2012’s “Prometheus”: a heady, if at times ponderous, theory to the origins of man. The first hour of that film is really good. But for me, what made the original 1979 film so enthralling was the life cycle of the ‘traditional’ Xenomorph aliens through egg to evil hatchling to vicious killing machine. This somewhat got lost with “Prometheus” with a range of alien-like-things ranging from wiggly black goo to something more familiar… and frankly I was confused. Some – repeat, some – of the explanation for that diversity of forms in “Prometheus” is made clearer in the sequel “Alien: Covenant”.

“Covenant” (named again after the spaceship at its heart) is a follow-on sequel to “Prometheus”, so it is worth re-watching it if you can before a cinema trip. At the end of that film we saw Elizabeth Shaw (Noomi Rapace, “The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo”) and a reconstructed android David (Michael Fassbender, “Steve Jobs“) flying off in an alien craft still loaded with its cargo of nasty alien black goo. Shaw had a mission to seek out The Engineer’s home world – named “Paradise” – to find out why after creating man they were intent on going back to finish them off with a WMD. A neat prologue has been released which documents this… here:


We pick up the action 10 years later in a totally improbable 2104. (Give us a break writing team! [Story by Jack Paglen and Michael Green; screenplay by John Logan and Dante Harper]. We know they won’t have got through planning permission on the third Heathrow runway by then, let alone invented interplanetary travel…! 2504, maybe!)
Daniels (Katherine Waterston, “Fantastic Beasts And Where To Find Them“) has just suffered a sudden bereavement (an uncredited James Franco – – blink and you’ll miss him). She has also been rudely awakened from hypersleep due to a sudden system mishap: no, not to find Chris Pratt there like “Passengers“, but by the ship’s android Walter (also Michael Fassbender) who’s also revived the rest of the crew. While effecting repairs they receive a garbled John Denver track mysteriously beamed to them from an earth-like planet not too far away. As this might be a suitable homestead, and as spending weeks more in hypersleep is unattractive, Captain Oram (Billy Crudup, “Spotlight“) votes to check it out, against Daniels’ strong objections. Needless to say, this proves to be a BIG MISTAKE as the new film neatly links hands with the first film.

Kick-ass… Katherine Waterston being careful not to slip in the shower.

There’s a limit to what more I can say about the film without delivering spoilers (so I have added a few more comments in the spoiler section BELOW the trailer). It’s a far more action-oriented film than “Prometheus” and has enough jump scares and gore to please most Alien fans. (In fact, it’s a surprise to me that it got a UK “15” certificate rather than an “18”: how much more violence do you need to show in the film?) A shower scene towards the end of the film is particularly effective and will likely put an end to relaxing shower sex for many people for good!
It also looks visually stunning (cinematography is by Dariusz Wolski (“The Martian“, “Pirates of the Caribbean”) with location shooting in Milford Sound in New Zealand. The special effects are also a cut-above the normal CGI with a devastated Pompeii-like city, a picture of blacks and greys, being particularly effective.

In the acting stakes it is really all down to Waterston and Fassbinder. I wasn’t a great fan of Waterston in “Fantastic Beasts” – a bit insipid I thought – but here she adopts Ripley’s kick-ass mantle with ease but blends it beautifully with doe-eyed vulnerability. Some of her scenes reminded me strongly of Demi Moore in “Ghost”. Fassbinder is fascinating to watch with his dual roles of Walter and David, both slightly different versions of the same being. And the special effects around the Fassbinder-on-Fassbinder action, tending somewhat towards the homoerotic in places, are well done.

Unfortunately the rest of the crew get little in the way of background development, which limits the impact of the inevitable demises. They are also about as clinically stupid as the spaceship crew in “Life” in some of their actions; I guess you could put some of this down to the effects of panic, but in other cases you might see it as a simple cleansing of the gene pool in Darwinian fashion.
Also making uncredited guest appearances are Guy Pearce as Weyland (in a flashback scene) and Noomi Rapace.

Music is “by” Jed Kurzel, but to be honest he does little than wrap around re-versions of the original Jerry Goldsmith classics: not that this is a bad thing, since those themes are iconic and a joy to hear again on the big screen.
My expectations for this movie were sky-high, as it was hinted as a return to form for the franchise. And in many ways it was, with a “man, Gods and androids” theme adding depth to the traditional anatomical-bursting gore. But to be honest, some of the storytelling was highly predictable, and I left slightly disappointed with the overall effort. If my expectations were an 11/10, my reality was more like a 7/10. It’s still a good film, and I look forward to watching it again. But perhaps this is a franchise that has really run its course now for Mr Scott and he should look to his next “Martian”-type movie for a more novel foundation to build his next movie “log cabin on the lake” on.