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LeftSideCut (3776 KP) rated AVP - Alien Vs. Predator (2004) in Movies
Jul 24, 2020
A missed opportunity
More than anything, AVP just pisses me off, usually when thinking about what could have been.
Why on earth is it PG-13, and why oh why was this historic meeting of two of cinemas most iconic aliens entrusted to Paul WS Anderson!?
I mean, in all honesty, both series had run out of gas at this point, so by the time AVP finally rolled around (14 years after the conflict had been teased at the end of Predator 2), it was never going to be much more than a gimmick, a shameless cash grab to get people in the cinema, hence the family friendly blockbuster nature of the film.
In terms of a big blockbuster, it's not terrible. There are some relatively entertaining moments here and there. The first clash between the titular monsters about 30 minutes in is undeniably surrounded by a sense of child like glee.
In terms of cast, it was a great touch to have Lance Henrikson involved, and Sanaa Lathan is a likeable enough badass-female lead, but everyone else is typical forgettable mercenary cannon fodder.
The effects work is pretty decent for the most part as well.
I can't help but feel that AVP is indeed a missed opportunity. The lack of tension, scares, or viscera just doesn't cut it when it comes to these franchises (although the piss poor sequel proved that more violence doesn't always improve a films quality), but I would have gladly accepted just one of the above mentioned features, but it lacks all of it.
There's a brief flashback which shows a handful of Predators fighting waves upon waves of xenomorphs, and whilst it's a great visual, it serves to remind you that there could have been a much better film produced.
I know that I sound like a miserable bastard and that's a fair enough assumption, and for what it's worth, AVP is watchable - easy Hollywood trash to digest, which is the exact opposite of what I feel an Alien film should be.
Why on earth is it PG-13, and why oh why was this historic meeting of two of cinemas most iconic aliens entrusted to Paul WS Anderson!?
I mean, in all honesty, both series had run out of gas at this point, so by the time AVP finally rolled around (14 years after the conflict had been teased at the end of Predator 2), it was never going to be much more than a gimmick, a shameless cash grab to get people in the cinema, hence the family friendly blockbuster nature of the film.
In terms of a big blockbuster, it's not terrible. There are some relatively entertaining moments here and there. The first clash between the titular monsters about 30 minutes in is undeniably surrounded by a sense of child like glee.
In terms of cast, it was a great touch to have Lance Henrikson involved, and Sanaa Lathan is a likeable enough badass-female lead, but everyone else is typical forgettable mercenary cannon fodder.
The effects work is pretty decent for the most part as well.
I can't help but feel that AVP is indeed a missed opportunity. The lack of tension, scares, or viscera just doesn't cut it when it comes to these franchises (although the piss poor sequel proved that more violence doesn't always improve a films quality), but I would have gladly accepted just one of the above mentioned features, but it lacks all of it.
There's a brief flashback which shows a handful of Predators fighting waves upon waves of xenomorphs, and whilst it's a great visual, it serves to remind you that there could have been a much better film produced.
I know that I sound like a miserable bastard and that's a fair enough assumption, and for what it's worth, AVP is watchable - easy Hollywood trash to digest, which is the exact opposite of what I feel an Alien film should be.
LeftSideCut (3776 KP) rated The Slumber Party Massacre (1982) in Movies
Oct 10, 2020
This film has a slumber party and it also has a massacre. In that respect, The Slumber Party Massacre does exactly what is says on the tin, but actually has more to it underneath it's trashy exterior.
It may very well be another 80s slasher following in the wake of Friday the 13th, but a few things make it stick out above some of the rest.
The short 77 minute runtime means that the plot steams along at a snappy pace. The expected killer chase scenes are genuinely tense. The characters are all fairly realistic. All good stuff.
Its important to note that this film was directed by Amy Holden Jones, and written by Rita Mae Brown. The presence of two females in these usually male dominated roles is certainly noteworthy, especially in the 80s. As a result, we have female characters who aren't afraid to fight back, and who don't rely on men to save them. There's not even an obvious Final Girl candidate, any one of the main cast could have filled that role. It's refreshing to see.
However, TSPM is produced by Roger Corman, which would go someway in explaining the excessive nudity, and why the finished product is far different to what Rita Mae Brown had initially envisioned.
The practical effects are fairly minimal, but what we do get is pretty good, and there's some semi decent gore dished out by Russ Thorn, this movies antagonist. He's obviously not a patch on slasher icons such as Jason or Freddy, but he's still a weird enough dude to make his mark on the genre. (Not quite as weird as the dude who hunts snails though, what the fuck was that all about)
The Slumber Party Massacre is a straight shooting horror that may have a cheap look, but it's fun for the most part, and has some memorable slasher moments.
It may very well be another 80s slasher following in the wake of Friday the 13th, but a few things make it stick out above some of the rest.
The short 77 minute runtime means that the plot steams along at a snappy pace. The expected killer chase scenes are genuinely tense. The characters are all fairly realistic. All good stuff.
Its important to note that this film was directed by Amy Holden Jones, and written by Rita Mae Brown. The presence of two females in these usually male dominated roles is certainly noteworthy, especially in the 80s. As a result, we have female characters who aren't afraid to fight back, and who don't rely on men to save them. There's not even an obvious Final Girl candidate, any one of the main cast could have filled that role. It's refreshing to see.
However, TSPM is produced by Roger Corman, which would go someway in explaining the excessive nudity, and why the finished product is far different to what Rita Mae Brown had initially envisioned.
The practical effects are fairly minimal, but what we do get is pretty good, and there's some semi decent gore dished out by Russ Thorn, this movies antagonist. He's obviously not a patch on slasher icons such as Jason or Freddy, but he's still a weird enough dude to make his mark on the genre. (Not quite as weird as the dude who hunts snails though, what the fuck was that all about)
The Slumber Party Massacre is a straight shooting horror that may have a cheap look, but it's fun for the most part, and has some memorable slasher moments.
LeftSideCut (3776 KP) rated Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989) in Movies
Jan 28, 2021
Returning to a much more balanced tone that the overly "cooky" Temple of Doom, the third Indiana Jones adventure gives Raiders of the Lost Ark some serious competition for best entry in the franchise (Raiders just about beats it for me based on the ratio of melting nazi face content).
The Last Crusade is a hugely entertaining movie from start to finish. It has a fantastic cast from the ever reliable Harrison Ford in the title role, to the convincingly menacing antagonist played by Julian Glover. Of course, Sean Connery is here for the ride this time around, as Indy's old man. The dynamic between Connery and Ford is great, and every scene with the two of them is cinema gold. Alison Doody makes for a welcome change with this films female protagonist (sort of), her character finally bucking the trend of typical love interest and having some depth, and a hell of a mean streak. Its nice to see John Rhys-Davies return from his ToD absence, and River Phoenix makes for an extremely memorable young Indiana in the movies opening flashback scene - on the subject of that scene, the transition from young Indy to Harrison Ford Indy is epic, thanks in part to another wonderful John Williams score, and is one of my highlights of the entire franchise!
The pacing is spot on - the over-two-hour runtime never once feels like a slog. The constant action is some of Spielberg's best work, and is suitably high octane. Everything in between boasts an engaging screenplay that develops all of the characters nicely, and the comedy elements are well done and sporadically placed, making the sillier moments genuinely funny (even the ridiculous Hitler scene)
All in all, The Last Crusade is a wonderful conclusion to the original trilogy, and is a genuinely fantastic adventure movie that stands toe to toe with the first film in its quality.
The Last Crusade is a hugely entertaining movie from start to finish. It has a fantastic cast from the ever reliable Harrison Ford in the title role, to the convincingly menacing antagonist played by Julian Glover. Of course, Sean Connery is here for the ride this time around, as Indy's old man. The dynamic between Connery and Ford is great, and every scene with the two of them is cinema gold. Alison Doody makes for a welcome change with this films female protagonist (sort of), her character finally bucking the trend of typical love interest and having some depth, and a hell of a mean streak. Its nice to see John Rhys-Davies return from his ToD absence, and River Phoenix makes for an extremely memorable young Indiana in the movies opening flashback scene - on the subject of that scene, the transition from young Indy to Harrison Ford Indy is epic, thanks in part to another wonderful John Williams score, and is one of my highlights of the entire franchise!
The pacing is spot on - the over-two-hour runtime never once feels like a slog. The constant action is some of Spielberg's best work, and is suitably high octane. Everything in between boasts an engaging screenplay that develops all of the characters nicely, and the comedy elements are well done and sporadically placed, making the sillier moments genuinely funny (even the ridiculous Hitler scene)
All in all, The Last Crusade is a wonderful conclusion to the original trilogy, and is a genuinely fantastic adventure movie that stands toe to toe with the first film in its quality.
Women Warriors: An Unexpected History
Book
Who says women don't go to war? From Vikings and African queens to cross-dressing military doctors...
Andy Meakin (5 KP) rated Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle (2017) in Movies
Jul 11, 2018
Welcome back to Jumanji
How dare they make a sequel/remake/reboot of Jumanji? I mean that film was a classic. Admittedly a very average classic that doesn’t really live up to your childhood memory of it, but still. And, yeah, Zathura was a kind of remake given it was adapted from a book by the same writer and explored the same themes, but nobody watched that, so how dare they do a new Jumanji film? I mean it’s only 22 years since the original came out!
Do you find yourself agreeing with any of that little rant? If you do, then I have a few things to say. First, accept that for thousands of years similar tales have been retold to new generations to keep the spirit of a story alive. Second, why not actually wait to see what the new film has to offer before casting judgement as Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle actually serves well as a sequel to the first film, whilst doing something new with the idea.
Starting in the mid-90s, and the board game is unearthed on a beach. Given to a teenage kid by his father, the kid isn’t impressed as ‘nobody plays board games these days’, and he gets back to playing on his console. Overnight, reacting to the changes in gaming culture the box works some magic, and the next day the game has morphed to a video game format, to entice a new generation. Jump forward to present day and a group of unlikely teenagers are cast together in detention when they happen upon the abandoned game console. Taking a break from their junk-room sorting, they fire up the game and find themselves pulled into the game -world, each taking on the avatar of the character template they chose on load up. Presented with a quest in true video-game fashion, they set off to find a way to escape, whilst learning something about themselves in the process.
By transitioning to a video-game setting, the story allows for a great deal of fun to be had poking at the contrivances and conventions of the format, especially for games of the era in which the game was inspired. The characters all have strengths and weaknesses, the spawning of lives by dropping from the sky is so reminiscent of many a side-scrolling platform shooter of yesteryear. Even the behaviour of the NPC – I mean support cast – is perfectly drawn upon the mannerisms that game characters act, being there to spout random exposition to move you on your quest. As for the quests – yep, they are pointlessly complicated, filled with traps and red herrings.
But such pokes at video game culture would be wasted if the casting was wrong, but in the four main stars they have cast the perfect personae for each archetype. The heroic, strong and smouldering hero, who is being played by a soft heated geek – The Rock of course. You want a ‘Lara Croft’ style action heroine, albeit played by a socially awkward teen girl – enter Karen Gillan. Weak sidekick who is only there to carry equipment, but being played by a high school jock who thinks he can do anything – Kevin Hart is your man. Round that off with a studious professor type, being played by a female – that kind of comic role works well for Jack Black. Each of the stars cast has a lot of fun playing with there archetypes, and the film does them all justice to allow them to each have their moments to shine. Gillan, in particular, does a great job at looking entirely awkward yet confident at the same time, and her nerdy seduction scene showcases a comic timing ability equal to her action talents showcased in the GotG films.
The action is thrilling, the humour well placed, and the direction solid enough to bring this video game movie to life. In fact, this is one of the best video game movies to date, even though it isn’t even adapted from a real video game. A few nods to the original Jumanji are present, but without awkwardly placed. The end result is a fun family adventure with some great action set pieces and a wry humour, much like the original was. Don’t let nostalgia for the original put you off exploring the world of Jumanji once more.
Do you find yourself agreeing with any of that little rant? If you do, then I have a few things to say. First, accept that for thousands of years similar tales have been retold to new generations to keep the spirit of a story alive. Second, why not actually wait to see what the new film has to offer before casting judgement as Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle actually serves well as a sequel to the first film, whilst doing something new with the idea.
Starting in the mid-90s, and the board game is unearthed on a beach. Given to a teenage kid by his father, the kid isn’t impressed as ‘nobody plays board games these days’, and he gets back to playing on his console. Overnight, reacting to the changes in gaming culture the box works some magic, and the next day the game has morphed to a video game format, to entice a new generation. Jump forward to present day and a group of unlikely teenagers are cast together in detention when they happen upon the abandoned game console. Taking a break from their junk-room sorting, they fire up the game and find themselves pulled into the game -world, each taking on the avatar of the character template they chose on load up. Presented with a quest in true video-game fashion, they set off to find a way to escape, whilst learning something about themselves in the process.
By transitioning to a video-game setting, the story allows for a great deal of fun to be had poking at the contrivances and conventions of the format, especially for games of the era in which the game was inspired. The characters all have strengths and weaknesses, the spawning of lives by dropping from the sky is so reminiscent of many a side-scrolling platform shooter of yesteryear. Even the behaviour of the NPC – I mean support cast – is perfectly drawn upon the mannerisms that game characters act, being there to spout random exposition to move you on your quest. As for the quests – yep, they are pointlessly complicated, filled with traps and red herrings.
But such pokes at video game culture would be wasted if the casting was wrong, but in the four main stars they have cast the perfect personae for each archetype. The heroic, strong and smouldering hero, who is being played by a soft heated geek – The Rock of course. You want a ‘Lara Croft’ style action heroine, albeit played by a socially awkward teen girl – enter Karen Gillan. Weak sidekick who is only there to carry equipment, but being played by a high school jock who thinks he can do anything – Kevin Hart is your man. Round that off with a studious professor type, being played by a female – that kind of comic role works well for Jack Black. Each of the stars cast has a lot of fun playing with there archetypes, and the film does them all justice to allow them to each have their moments to shine. Gillan, in particular, does a great job at looking entirely awkward yet confident at the same time, and her nerdy seduction scene showcases a comic timing ability equal to her action talents showcased in the GotG films.
The action is thrilling, the humour well placed, and the direction solid enough to bring this video game movie to life. In fact, this is one of the best video game movies to date, even though it isn’t even adapted from a real video game. A few nods to the original Jumanji are present, but without awkwardly placed. The end result is a fun family adventure with some great action set pieces and a wry humour, much like the original was. Don’t let nostalgia for the original put you off exploring the world of Jumanji once more.
Darren (1599 KP) rated 8MM 2 (2005) in Movies
Jun 20, 2019
Story: 8MM 2 starts as we meet young lawyer David (Schaech and his future wife Tish (Heuring) in Budapest. While on their trip away the couple end up having a steamy threesome with Risa (Gorog) helping both of their needs in the bedroom. David finds himself having to impress Tish’s father Ambassador Harrington (Davison) while his other daughter Lynn (Benz) has already settled down.
When the couple receive photos of their threesome they try to figure out who took them leading them into the sexual underworld in Hungry. While trying to clean up the blackmailing the two find themselves being approached from all angles as they try to keep any political career undercover.
8MM 2 is a film with one of the most miss-leading titles in film history, it is advertised as a sequel to 8MM starring Nicolas Cage which is about going into the underworld of sex. This is a boring political drama cover up after a daughter and her fiancée end up in a sex tape and get blackmailed. Nothing about this makes any sense for it to be a sequel but only uses the name because of the standard below average story. to make matters worse this might as well just be a softcore film because you can pretty much guarantee there is more time when the women are naked more than actually clothed.
Actor Review
Johnathon Schaech: David is the young lawyer entering into a powerful family as he tries to rise up the ranks in the Hungarian Embassy. When he has a steamy threesome with his wife to be and a strange woman he finds himself having to go into the world of pornography to uncover the people trying to blackmail him. Johnathon is solid but basic in this role.
Lori Heuring: Tish is the wife to be for David, her father is the Ambassador making her have a high profile name in social circles. She ends up having to follow David into the underworld of the sex industry to find the tape from their night. Lori is solid in this role without being special.
Bruce Davison: Ambassador Harrington is the father of Tish he is highly respected and the night the two have together could find themselves being responsible for a problem in his career. Bruce gives us a very basic supporting performance that we just don’t see enough.
Julie Benz: Lynn is the sister of Tish that is the older one of the two who always wants to protect her younger sister. Julie is wasted in this supporting role.
Support Cast: 8MM 2 has a basic supporting cast where nearly all the female cast are naked with most not really having much going on.
Director Review: J.S. Cardone – J.S. really doesn’t give us a worthy sequel that lacks any of the important parts needed.
Mystery: 8MM 2 doesn’t really offer us a mystery because we don’t see what the big mystery is.
Thriller: 8MM 2 doesn’t keep us on edge at all.
Settings: 8MM 2 is set in Hungary without being anything special.
Special Effects: 8MM 2 has basic effects when needed but nothing fancy.
Suggestion: 8MM 2 is one just to avoid really because it is terrible. (Avoid)
Best Part: Final Twist.
Worst Part: Pointless amount of nudity.
Believability: No
Chances of Tears: No
Chances of Sequel: No
Post Credits Scene: No
Oscar Chances: No
Runtime: 1 Hour 46 Minutes
Tagline: From The Last Kiss To The Last Breath… From The First Kiss To The Last Breath.
Trivia: Much of the sex depicted is actual not simulated.
Overall: Dreadful sequel that really doesn’t work.
https://moviesreview101.com/2016/06/12/franchise-weekend-8mm-2-2005/
When the couple receive photos of their threesome they try to figure out who took them leading them into the sexual underworld in Hungry. While trying to clean up the blackmailing the two find themselves being approached from all angles as they try to keep any political career undercover.
8MM 2 is a film with one of the most miss-leading titles in film history, it is advertised as a sequel to 8MM starring Nicolas Cage which is about going into the underworld of sex. This is a boring political drama cover up after a daughter and her fiancée end up in a sex tape and get blackmailed. Nothing about this makes any sense for it to be a sequel but only uses the name because of the standard below average story. to make matters worse this might as well just be a softcore film because you can pretty much guarantee there is more time when the women are naked more than actually clothed.
Actor Review
Johnathon Schaech: David is the young lawyer entering into a powerful family as he tries to rise up the ranks in the Hungarian Embassy. When he has a steamy threesome with his wife to be and a strange woman he finds himself having to go into the world of pornography to uncover the people trying to blackmail him. Johnathon is solid but basic in this role.
Lori Heuring: Tish is the wife to be for David, her father is the Ambassador making her have a high profile name in social circles. She ends up having to follow David into the underworld of the sex industry to find the tape from their night. Lori is solid in this role without being special.
Bruce Davison: Ambassador Harrington is the father of Tish he is highly respected and the night the two have together could find themselves being responsible for a problem in his career. Bruce gives us a very basic supporting performance that we just don’t see enough.
Julie Benz: Lynn is the sister of Tish that is the older one of the two who always wants to protect her younger sister. Julie is wasted in this supporting role.
Support Cast: 8MM 2 has a basic supporting cast where nearly all the female cast are naked with most not really having much going on.
Director Review: J.S. Cardone – J.S. really doesn’t give us a worthy sequel that lacks any of the important parts needed.
Mystery: 8MM 2 doesn’t really offer us a mystery because we don’t see what the big mystery is.
Thriller: 8MM 2 doesn’t keep us on edge at all.
Settings: 8MM 2 is set in Hungary without being anything special.
Special Effects: 8MM 2 has basic effects when needed but nothing fancy.
Suggestion: 8MM 2 is one just to avoid really because it is terrible. (Avoid)
Best Part: Final Twist.
Worst Part: Pointless amount of nudity.
Believability: No
Chances of Tears: No
Chances of Sequel: No
Post Credits Scene: No
Oscar Chances: No
Runtime: 1 Hour 46 Minutes
Tagline: From The Last Kiss To The Last Breath… From The First Kiss To The Last Breath.
Trivia: Much of the sex depicted is actual not simulated.
Overall: Dreadful sequel that really doesn’t work.
https://moviesreview101.com/2016/06/12/franchise-weekend-8mm-2-2005/
Chris Sawin (602 KP) rated Death on the Nile (2022) in Movies
Feb 10, 2022
Most of the female cast. (2 more)
Poirot's backstory.
Kenneth Branagh's mustache.
Slow-moving with little payoff. (2 more)
Nothing substantial happens for the first hour.
Not entertaining. Perfect example of first world problems.
A Drowzy Whodunit Loaded with Mediocrity
Death on the Nile is the sequel to 2017’s Murder on the Orient Express with director and lead actor Kenneth Branagh returning. The mystery thriller is based on the 1937 novel of the same name by Agatha Christie. Death on the Nile has been adapted before as a 1978 film and as a 2004 episode of the Poirot television series starring David Suchet.
The 2022 film has been completed since December of 2019. The film was moved around several times due to COVID and was pushed back even further after Armie Hammer’s abuse allegations.
Mostly occurring shortly after the events of Murder on the Orient Express, Death on the Nile offers a bit of a look into the past of Hercule Poirot (Branagh). Taking place on the Yser Bridge in Belgium In 1914, a young Poirot advises his Belgian captain to attack the Germans spontaneously without warning. The attack is a success, but Poirot’s captain triggers an explosive after their victory. The explosion leaves Poirot’s face heavily scarred and offers an explanation as to why he always has a mustache.
Poirot reunites with his friend Bouc (Tom Bateman, who also returns from Murder on the Orient Express) in Egypt. Bouc is traveling with his mother Euphemia (Annette Bening) and their friends as they celebrate the marriage of Linnet Ridgeway (Gal Gadot) and Simon Doyle (Armie Hammer). To make matters more complicated, Simon was originally romantically involved with Jaqueline (Emma Mackey) who was also a former friend of Linnet. She now scornfully follows Simon and Linnet around Egypt.
The party travels on the S. S. Karnak, a steamship, along the river Nile. A murder eventually takes place on the steamship, which ignites a desire within Poirot to discover who the killer is before more suffer the same fate.
CGI and visual effects are used to make Kenneth Branagh look younger in the opening sequence of the film. The issue is he looks almost as bad as Henry Cavill did as Superman during the reshoots for Justice League. Branagh’s upper lip is almost nonexistent during this sequence and his philtrum seems to barely move when he speaks. It’s a visual nightmare and a terrible way to jump start a murder mystery.
Poirot travels to a Jazz nightclub where he’s first introduced to Simon, Jacqueline, and Linnet. Poirot spends much of the film embracing his OCD habits and people watching. This first nightclub sequence is about ten minutes long and you’re basically forced to watch people do nothing but dance for that entire time. Armie Hammer’s overly sexual dancing combined with his heavy breathing and constant sweating with both Gal Gadot and Emma Mackey is nauseating even without taking his sexual allegations into consideration.
Nothing really happens in the film for the first hour. Death on the Nile takes its time getting to the murder as little things begin to disappear (like a tube of paint) and Simon and Linnet are nearly crushed to death by a falling rock as they’re practically mid-coitus while sightseeing some pyramids. Emma Mackey gives a particularly strong performance. She is blinded by one-sided love in the film and her performance is a combination of passion, borderline insanity, and a broken heart.
Annette Bening is so cynical that it’s humorous and Jennifer Saunders adds just enough sarcastic bite to remind us ever so slightly of Absolutely Fabulous. Letitia Wright portrays business manager Rosalie Otterbourne. Her performance is intriguing because she’s always fighting for what she feels like she’s rightfully owed; whether it’s the right amount of money for her services or her happiness away from the limelight.
Like Murder on the Orient Express and other Agatha Christie adaptations, the enticing aspect of Death on the Nile is not only its massive and recognizable cast but also the fact that the story is written in a way that everyone is a suspect. The film’s nonchalant way of meandering towards that first murder is frustrating. A deliberate pace is one thing, but Death on the Nile is boring for the most part. Poirot is asked to take a case involving Jacqueline and the safety of Simon and Linnet, but is then mocked for being heartless and not being able to solve the case sooner. The people on board are likely meant to be scared, but come off as rich people not getting what they want the instant they want it.
Death on the Nile crawls towards a resolution you don’t feel invested in. Poirot’s backstory is interesting and there are some solid performances especially from the female cast, but the film otherwise feels like an unwanted game of Guess Who after you unwillingly chug two bottles of NyQuil and are asked to predict who the killer is after two long hours of tediousness.
The 2022 film has been completed since December of 2019. The film was moved around several times due to COVID and was pushed back even further after Armie Hammer’s abuse allegations.
Mostly occurring shortly after the events of Murder on the Orient Express, Death on the Nile offers a bit of a look into the past of Hercule Poirot (Branagh). Taking place on the Yser Bridge in Belgium In 1914, a young Poirot advises his Belgian captain to attack the Germans spontaneously without warning. The attack is a success, but Poirot’s captain triggers an explosive after their victory. The explosion leaves Poirot’s face heavily scarred and offers an explanation as to why he always has a mustache.
Poirot reunites with his friend Bouc (Tom Bateman, who also returns from Murder on the Orient Express) in Egypt. Bouc is traveling with his mother Euphemia (Annette Bening) and their friends as they celebrate the marriage of Linnet Ridgeway (Gal Gadot) and Simon Doyle (Armie Hammer). To make matters more complicated, Simon was originally romantically involved with Jaqueline (Emma Mackey) who was also a former friend of Linnet. She now scornfully follows Simon and Linnet around Egypt.
The party travels on the S. S. Karnak, a steamship, along the river Nile. A murder eventually takes place on the steamship, which ignites a desire within Poirot to discover who the killer is before more suffer the same fate.
CGI and visual effects are used to make Kenneth Branagh look younger in the opening sequence of the film. The issue is he looks almost as bad as Henry Cavill did as Superman during the reshoots for Justice League. Branagh’s upper lip is almost nonexistent during this sequence and his philtrum seems to barely move when he speaks. It’s a visual nightmare and a terrible way to jump start a murder mystery.
Poirot travels to a Jazz nightclub where he’s first introduced to Simon, Jacqueline, and Linnet. Poirot spends much of the film embracing his OCD habits and people watching. This first nightclub sequence is about ten minutes long and you’re basically forced to watch people do nothing but dance for that entire time. Armie Hammer’s overly sexual dancing combined with his heavy breathing and constant sweating with both Gal Gadot and Emma Mackey is nauseating even without taking his sexual allegations into consideration.
Nothing really happens in the film for the first hour. Death on the Nile takes its time getting to the murder as little things begin to disappear (like a tube of paint) and Simon and Linnet are nearly crushed to death by a falling rock as they’re practically mid-coitus while sightseeing some pyramids. Emma Mackey gives a particularly strong performance. She is blinded by one-sided love in the film and her performance is a combination of passion, borderline insanity, and a broken heart.
Annette Bening is so cynical that it’s humorous and Jennifer Saunders adds just enough sarcastic bite to remind us ever so slightly of Absolutely Fabulous. Letitia Wright portrays business manager Rosalie Otterbourne. Her performance is intriguing because she’s always fighting for what she feels like she’s rightfully owed; whether it’s the right amount of money for her services or her happiness away from the limelight.
Like Murder on the Orient Express and other Agatha Christie adaptations, the enticing aspect of Death on the Nile is not only its massive and recognizable cast but also the fact that the story is written in a way that everyone is a suspect. The film’s nonchalant way of meandering towards that first murder is frustrating. A deliberate pace is one thing, but Death on the Nile is boring for the most part. Poirot is asked to take a case involving Jacqueline and the safety of Simon and Linnet, but is then mocked for being heartless and not being able to solve the case sooner. The people on board are likely meant to be scared, but come off as rich people not getting what they want the instant they want it.
Death on the Nile crawls towards a resolution you don’t feel invested in. Poirot’s backstory is interesting and there are some solid performances especially from the female cast, but the film otherwise feels like an unwanted game of Guess Who after you unwillingly chug two bottles of NyQuil and are asked to predict who the killer is after two long hours of tediousness.
Gareth von Kallenbach (980 KP) rated Rio (2011) in Movies
Aug 7, 2019
As the very colorful birds of the jungle in Rio de Janeiro are partying it up with singing and aeriel dancing some humans crash the party and capture some of the birds, one of them being a very young blue macaw. From there they are flown to the U.S. with final destinations unknown. Thanks to some poor driving habits the crate containing the young blue macaw is left stranded in the freezing snow of Minnesota but he is soon saved by a young girl named Linda who names him Blu (I know not very original).
Fast forward 15 years, Linda and Blu run a bookstore and even though he has never learned to fly he loves the indoor domestic lifestyle and has never thought of returning to Rio. That is until Dr. Barbosa arrives and informs them that Blu is the last known male blue macaw in the world and that at his bird sanctuary in Rio he has the last known female blue macaw, named Jewel. After some hesitation they decide it is species saving time and go with Dr. Barbosa to Rio. As Blu and Jewel get to know each other (that’s not an euphemism), Dr. Barbosa and Linda decide they should give them some alone time and leave. But while the humans are away making a connection of their own, someone breaks into the bird sanctuary and abducts Blu and Jewel.
The two blue macaws soon find themselves shackled together and locked away with many other birds to be taken to final destinations unknown (hmmm, deja vu). Blu and Jewel are able to escape from their captors but not from the shackles that bind them and thus begins their epic journey to freedom from the shackles. Along the way they befriend some very interesting characters who do their best to help them along the way. Will Jewel and Blu be free of the shackles? Will Blu and Linda ever be reunited? Will Blu ever learn to fly? What about the bookstore?
While the story is very predictable and at least once I could tell the kids were losing interest during a scene, the animation is beautiful and amazing, the humor is great and I saw many of the kids in the theater bobbing their heads along to the songs. They could not have done any better with the incredible voice cast: Blu and Jewel are voiced by Jesse Eisenberg and Anne Hathaway and Leslie Mann voices Linda. The incredible supporting cast voices iniclude Wanda Sykes, Lane Lynch, Jamie Fox, Will.I.Am and George Lopez.
Overall, regardless of age, everyone in the theater seemed to enjoy the film as much, if not more, as I did. But just to be sure I brought along a friend’s 10 year old to get his perspective and posed a few questions. I was very happy to mostly get more than one word answers:
Fast forward 15 years, Linda and Blu run a bookstore and even though he has never learned to fly he loves the indoor domestic lifestyle and has never thought of returning to Rio. That is until Dr. Barbosa arrives and informs them that Blu is the last known male blue macaw in the world and that at his bird sanctuary in Rio he has the last known female blue macaw, named Jewel. After some hesitation they decide it is species saving time and go with Dr. Barbosa to Rio. As Blu and Jewel get to know each other (that’s not an euphemism), Dr. Barbosa and Linda decide they should give them some alone time and leave. But while the humans are away making a connection of their own, someone breaks into the bird sanctuary and abducts Blu and Jewel.
The two blue macaws soon find themselves shackled together and locked away with many other birds to be taken to final destinations unknown (hmmm, deja vu). Blu and Jewel are able to escape from their captors but not from the shackles that bind them and thus begins their epic journey to freedom from the shackles. Along the way they befriend some very interesting characters who do their best to help them along the way. Will Jewel and Blu be free of the shackles? Will Blu and Linda ever be reunited? Will Blu ever learn to fly? What about the bookstore?
While the story is very predictable and at least once I could tell the kids were losing interest during a scene, the animation is beautiful and amazing, the humor is great and I saw many of the kids in the theater bobbing their heads along to the songs. They could not have done any better with the incredible voice cast: Blu and Jewel are voiced by Jesse Eisenberg and Anne Hathaway and Leslie Mann voices Linda. The incredible supporting cast voices iniclude Wanda Sykes, Lane Lynch, Jamie Fox, Will.I.Am and George Lopez.
Overall, regardless of age, everyone in the theater seemed to enjoy the film as much, if not more, as I did. But just to be sure I brought along a friend’s 10 year old to get his perspective and posed a few questions. I was very happy to mostly get more than one word answers:
Movie Metropolis (309 KP) rated X-Men: Dark Phoenix (2019) in Movies
Jun 10, 2019 (Updated Jun 10, 2019)
Goodbye Normal Jean
It would be easy to write off X-Men: Dark Phoenix as a complete and utter disaster. With the departure of Bryan Singer (again) from the franchise, first-time director Simon Kinberg taking his place and rumours of costly reshoots pushing the budget north of $200million, things weren’t looking good for this adaptation of the popular Marvel comic.
Let’s not forget that the last time Fox tried to adapt this storyline we ended up with 2006’s The Last Stand, and the less said about that the better. Looking back over the last 20 years, the X-Men’s film franchise history has been chequered to say the least.
Nevertheless, this particular timeline that started with Matthew Vaughn’s adequate First Class, followed up by the excellent Days of Future Past and the flabby Apocalypse ends with Dark Phoenix. But is it worthy of your consideration?
This is the story of one of the X-Men’s most beloved characters, Jean Grey (Sophie Turner), as she evolves into the iconic Phoenix. During a rescue mission in space, Jean is hit by a cosmic force that transforms her into one of the most powerful mutants of all. Wrestling with this increasingly unstable power as well as her own personal demons, Jean spirals out of control, tearing the X-Men family apart and threatening to destroy the very fabric of our planet.
First things first – this is not a bad film. Yes, you heard me right. Leagues above Apocalypse and much better than The Last Stand, Dark Phoenix is a film that has been let down by catastrophically poor marketing. It’s not perfect, as we’ll discover in this review, but it tries a different approach, and for that it should be applauded.
For this reviewer, the modern day cast of characters has always been a weak spot for the series and that doesn’t really change in Dark Phoenix. James McAvoy remains miscast as Charles Xavier, especially since packing on the muscle for this Glass, but he performs much better here than he did in its predecessor. His transition into egotistical maniac, obsessed by the celebrity status the X-Men have acquired at the outset of the film is an intriguing diversion from where he was at the end of Apocalypse.
The younger cast are more likeable. Kodi Smitt-McPhee’s portrayal of Nightcrawler is fabulous and he gets more to do this time around. Tye Sheridan is great as young Cyclops and Evan Peters’ Quicksilver remains a highlight, though it’s unfortunate he’s cast aside relatively quickly – for fans of his set pieces from the previous two films, you’ll be disappointed here. Michael Fassbender and Nicholas Hoult bring their a-games, but they even seem a little bored by what’s going on. “You’re always sorry, Charles. And there’s always a speech. But nobody cares anymore!” bites Michael Fassbender at one point in the film – perhaps he’s onto something?
The first hour is perhaps the best the series has been since Days of Future Past
Of the female cast, Sophie Turner does her best with the material she’s given, and her Jean Grey is full of anger, angst and melancholy. The script struggles to provide her with any other emotion, but she’s a pleasing protagonist for the most part. Unfortunately, Jennifer Lawrence completely phones in her performance as Mystique and Jessica Chastain’s horrifically underwritten villain wastes a fabulous actor in a thankless role – much like Oscar Issac in Apocalypse.
With reports of heavy reshoots, you’d be forgiven for thinking that the film would end up a royal mess. Thankfully, the first hour is perhaps the best the series has been since Days of Future Past. Focusing on character development rather than all-out action, it’s a pleasing change and one which is more than welcome. Unfortunately, as time ticks away, the film loses all semblance of sanity and becomes muddled as it steamrolls towards an underwhelming climax.
And despite the reported budget of $200million, some of the shot choices and outfits feel cheap. It’s clear director Simon Kinberg is a fan of the series, but the X-Men costumes are bland, ill-fitting and a world away from what we’ve seen before. Closer to the comics they may be, but that’s not always a good thing. Elsewhere, the film feels cut-rate, almost TV-movie like and that’s a real shame because the special effects are top-notch. Mercifully, Hans Zimmer’s score is wonderful. The soaring orchestral soundtrack works brilliantly with the film – it’s probably the best music in the series to date.
Overall, X-Men: Dark Phoenix has been a victim of poor marketing with trailers that spoilt perhaps the most pivotal moment of the film (which we won’t spoil here). Nevertheless, the first hour is great and the special effects provide the film with some thrilling set pieces. It’s a shame then that the film offers up nothing new to the table despite some committed performances – this Phoenix just doesn’t quite rise to the occasion.
https://moviemetropolis.net/2019/06/07/x-men-dark-phoenix-review-goodbye-normal-jean/
Let’s not forget that the last time Fox tried to adapt this storyline we ended up with 2006’s The Last Stand, and the less said about that the better. Looking back over the last 20 years, the X-Men’s film franchise history has been chequered to say the least.
Nevertheless, this particular timeline that started with Matthew Vaughn’s adequate First Class, followed up by the excellent Days of Future Past and the flabby Apocalypse ends with Dark Phoenix. But is it worthy of your consideration?
This is the story of one of the X-Men’s most beloved characters, Jean Grey (Sophie Turner), as she evolves into the iconic Phoenix. During a rescue mission in space, Jean is hit by a cosmic force that transforms her into one of the most powerful mutants of all. Wrestling with this increasingly unstable power as well as her own personal demons, Jean spirals out of control, tearing the X-Men family apart and threatening to destroy the very fabric of our planet.
First things first – this is not a bad film. Yes, you heard me right. Leagues above Apocalypse and much better than The Last Stand, Dark Phoenix is a film that has been let down by catastrophically poor marketing. It’s not perfect, as we’ll discover in this review, but it tries a different approach, and for that it should be applauded.
For this reviewer, the modern day cast of characters has always been a weak spot for the series and that doesn’t really change in Dark Phoenix. James McAvoy remains miscast as Charles Xavier, especially since packing on the muscle for this Glass, but he performs much better here than he did in its predecessor. His transition into egotistical maniac, obsessed by the celebrity status the X-Men have acquired at the outset of the film is an intriguing diversion from where he was at the end of Apocalypse.
The younger cast are more likeable. Kodi Smitt-McPhee’s portrayal of Nightcrawler is fabulous and he gets more to do this time around. Tye Sheridan is great as young Cyclops and Evan Peters’ Quicksilver remains a highlight, though it’s unfortunate he’s cast aside relatively quickly – for fans of his set pieces from the previous two films, you’ll be disappointed here. Michael Fassbender and Nicholas Hoult bring their a-games, but they even seem a little bored by what’s going on. “You’re always sorry, Charles. And there’s always a speech. But nobody cares anymore!” bites Michael Fassbender at one point in the film – perhaps he’s onto something?
The first hour is perhaps the best the series has been since Days of Future Past
Of the female cast, Sophie Turner does her best with the material she’s given, and her Jean Grey is full of anger, angst and melancholy. The script struggles to provide her with any other emotion, but she’s a pleasing protagonist for the most part. Unfortunately, Jennifer Lawrence completely phones in her performance as Mystique and Jessica Chastain’s horrifically underwritten villain wastes a fabulous actor in a thankless role – much like Oscar Issac in Apocalypse.
With reports of heavy reshoots, you’d be forgiven for thinking that the film would end up a royal mess. Thankfully, the first hour is perhaps the best the series has been since Days of Future Past. Focusing on character development rather than all-out action, it’s a pleasing change and one which is more than welcome. Unfortunately, as time ticks away, the film loses all semblance of sanity and becomes muddled as it steamrolls towards an underwhelming climax.
And despite the reported budget of $200million, some of the shot choices and outfits feel cheap. It’s clear director Simon Kinberg is a fan of the series, but the X-Men costumes are bland, ill-fitting and a world away from what we’ve seen before. Closer to the comics they may be, but that’s not always a good thing. Elsewhere, the film feels cut-rate, almost TV-movie like and that’s a real shame because the special effects are top-notch. Mercifully, Hans Zimmer’s score is wonderful. The soaring orchestral soundtrack works brilliantly with the film – it’s probably the best music in the series to date.
Overall, X-Men: Dark Phoenix has been a victim of poor marketing with trailers that spoilt perhaps the most pivotal moment of the film (which we won’t spoil here). Nevertheless, the first hour is great and the special effects provide the film with some thrilling set pieces. It’s a shame then that the film offers up nothing new to the table despite some committed performances – this Phoenix just doesn’t quite rise to the occasion.
https://moviemetropolis.net/2019/06/07/x-men-dark-phoenix-review-goodbye-normal-jean/
Movie Metropolis (309 KP) rated The Iron Lady (2012) in Movies
Jun 10, 2019
Meryl Streep certainly has an impressive roster of films under her belt. She’s reduced Anne Hathaway to tears in The Devil Wears Prada, she’s played the role of struggling hotelier in the all singing, all dancing Mamma Mia and has racked up an astonishing 16 Oscar nominations for films like Kramer vs. Kramer and Sophie’s Choice. However, here, she perhaps takes on her biggest role to date portraying arguably the most controversial figure in British politics; Baroness Thatcher. Can she pull it off? Did you really need to ask?
Streep teams up with Mammia Mia director Phyllida Lloyd in the Iron Lady, a biopic surrounding the life of ex-Prime Minister, Margaret Thatcher and between the two of them and a wonderful supporting cast, deliver a stunning but disappointingly safe take on the 86 year olds life.
The film opens with a frail looking woman wandering the streets and buying a bottle of milk, we soon learn that this woman is of course, Baroness Thatcher. After a thought provoking moment of silence, the scene is switched to her current home where she is kept under lock and key, struggling with ever worsening dementia. Her constant conversations with dead husband Dennis, played fabulously by Jim Broadbent are emotional and form the basis of the entire film.
It is in these scenes that we begin to ‘study’ Thatcher’s life from her youth right up until the present day. We see her refusing to give up after failing to gain a seat in the 1950 and 1951 general elections as well as her first steps into Number 10 as the first ever female Prime Minister. Lloyd displays these moments with great finesse and integrates Streep’s portrayal with real footage of Thatcher walking into 10 Downing Street amongst other key moments.
Most of the major events in Margaret’s career are carried over into the film, bar a few notable exceptions. The Grand Hotel bombing, the Falklands war, the death of Thatcher’s personal assistant at the hands of the IRA and of course the controversial Poll Tax all make the grade but are explained in a way that isn’t damaging to the reputation of the Baroness and this is perhaps where the film loses its way a little.
There’ll be no prizes in telling you that Margaret Thatcher was either a fantastic woman who turned around the fates of a country struggling with recession or a woman who nearly destroyed everything we hold dear; depending obviously on your thoughts of her. No matter what thoughts we all have, opinions are opinions. Here, however, the film tries to make up the minds of those watching, rather than allowing an opinion to form on its own and this is perhaps the biggest problem with a political biopic, there is always a sense of bias.
Fortunately, Lloyd stays on the right side of mass appeal and doesn’t give in to mindless brown-nosing.
It is in the films present day moments that really shine. Seeing a woman who wanted to change the world struggle to cope with the loss of her husband and fall into dementia is, no matter what your opinion on the ex-Prime Minister, heart-breaking. It is here, that sympathy is found.
Streep’s performance is stunning to say the least and she is a joy to watch. Her transgression from young, enthusiastic Thatcher to the old and frail woman we see today is yes, in part down to the astonishing make-up given to her throughout but mainly because of her ability as an actress. She, like the lady herself takes charge of every scene she is a part of, something which many actresses struggle to do. Streep may have had her critics in being cast for this film, but she has proved them wrong. It will be a crime if she isn’t nominated for an Oscar this year.
Of the films other cast, Olivia Colman does well as Margaret’s daughter Carole and as mentioned previously, Jim Broadbent is brilliant as the deceased Dennis Thatcher; he fits the role perfectly and again should be nominated for an Oscar later this year. The supporting cast includes the likes of Anthony Head as Geoffrey Howe and Nicholas Farrell as Thatcher’s murdered assistant Airey Neave, but the scenes with these characters are often overshadowed by Streep’s presence.
The Iron Lady is a joy to behold. It makes you proud to be British, to know that we as a country can produce films of this calibre and it shows the world just what a woman Margaret Thatcher was. In the scenes showing Thatcher’s spiral into dementia is where it becomes most touching, but throughout, we get a full, if slightly biased view of her 11 and a half years in office and Meryl Streep does the old girl proud.
Think what you will of the former Conservative leader, but The Iron Lady is worth a watch for Streep’s performance alone.
https://moviemetropolis.net/2012/01/12/review-the-iron-lady-2011/
Streep teams up with Mammia Mia director Phyllida Lloyd in the Iron Lady, a biopic surrounding the life of ex-Prime Minister, Margaret Thatcher and between the two of them and a wonderful supporting cast, deliver a stunning but disappointingly safe take on the 86 year olds life.
The film opens with a frail looking woman wandering the streets and buying a bottle of milk, we soon learn that this woman is of course, Baroness Thatcher. After a thought provoking moment of silence, the scene is switched to her current home where she is kept under lock and key, struggling with ever worsening dementia. Her constant conversations with dead husband Dennis, played fabulously by Jim Broadbent are emotional and form the basis of the entire film.
It is in these scenes that we begin to ‘study’ Thatcher’s life from her youth right up until the present day. We see her refusing to give up after failing to gain a seat in the 1950 and 1951 general elections as well as her first steps into Number 10 as the first ever female Prime Minister. Lloyd displays these moments with great finesse and integrates Streep’s portrayal with real footage of Thatcher walking into 10 Downing Street amongst other key moments.
Most of the major events in Margaret’s career are carried over into the film, bar a few notable exceptions. The Grand Hotel bombing, the Falklands war, the death of Thatcher’s personal assistant at the hands of the IRA and of course the controversial Poll Tax all make the grade but are explained in a way that isn’t damaging to the reputation of the Baroness and this is perhaps where the film loses its way a little.
There’ll be no prizes in telling you that Margaret Thatcher was either a fantastic woman who turned around the fates of a country struggling with recession or a woman who nearly destroyed everything we hold dear; depending obviously on your thoughts of her. No matter what thoughts we all have, opinions are opinions. Here, however, the film tries to make up the minds of those watching, rather than allowing an opinion to form on its own and this is perhaps the biggest problem with a political biopic, there is always a sense of bias.
Fortunately, Lloyd stays on the right side of mass appeal and doesn’t give in to mindless brown-nosing.
It is in the films present day moments that really shine. Seeing a woman who wanted to change the world struggle to cope with the loss of her husband and fall into dementia is, no matter what your opinion on the ex-Prime Minister, heart-breaking. It is here, that sympathy is found.
Streep’s performance is stunning to say the least and she is a joy to watch. Her transgression from young, enthusiastic Thatcher to the old and frail woman we see today is yes, in part down to the astonishing make-up given to her throughout but mainly because of her ability as an actress. She, like the lady herself takes charge of every scene she is a part of, something which many actresses struggle to do. Streep may have had her critics in being cast for this film, but she has proved them wrong. It will be a crime if she isn’t nominated for an Oscar this year.
Of the films other cast, Olivia Colman does well as Margaret’s daughter Carole and as mentioned previously, Jim Broadbent is brilliant as the deceased Dennis Thatcher; he fits the role perfectly and again should be nominated for an Oscar later this year. The supporting cast includes the likes of Anthony Head as Geoffrey Howe and Nicholas Farrell as Thatcher’s murdered assistant Airey Neave, but the scenes with these characters are often overshadowed by Streep’s presence.
The Iron Lady is a joy to behold. It makes you proud to be British, to know that we as a country can produce films of this calibre and it shows the world just what a woman Margaret Thatcher was. In the scenes showing Thatcher’s spiral into dementia is where it becomes most touching, but throughout, we get a full, if slightly biased view of her 11 and a half years in office and Meryl Streep does the old girl proud.
Think what you will of the former Conservative leader, but The Iron Lady is worth a watch for Streep’s performance alone.
https://moviemetropolis.net/2012/01/12/review-the-iron-lady-2011/