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Kirk Bage (1775 KP) rated The Expanse in TV

Sep 4, 2020 (Updated Feb 11, 2021)  
The Expanse
The Expanse
2015 | Sci-Fi
In this particular future, where there exists a cold war tension between the splintered factions of humanity across the solar system, all is not well. Earthers, Dusters (Martians) and Skinnies (Belters) compete for resources and political strength in an ever shifting landscape of trust and betrayal. It is a sci-fi geek’s paradise, full of believable tech, an extensive character list and jargon coming out of the wazoo! It’s all very complicated… and season five just finished airing on Amazon Prime on Wednesday 3rd Feb, so I thought it a good time to talk about it in detail.

Based on the novel series by James S. A. Corey (actually the assumed name of collaborators Ty Franck and Daniel Abraham), which began in 2011 and has produced one book a year since, the TV version has been on the go since 2015, first at SyFy and then at Amazon after being cancelled unfairly, and to mass uproar from the fans, after Season three. It isn’t something you watch casually – either you are into it and make a point of obsessing about it, or you watch a few, feel completely lost and admit it isn’t for you; although you suspect it is good and you just didn’t make the effort to engage enough. Sci-fi this earnest can be like that: a little unforgiving to tourists and passers-by.

Personally, I went through 2 phases with it. The first was watching it late at night with autoplay on, falling in and out of sleep depending on how exciting what was happening was, missing a lot of the detail and feeling largely lost in space. The second was coming back to Season 4 recently (about 3 weeks ago), after taking in a full recap of the story, and becoming a true fan that couldn’t get enough of the complex web of storylines, motives and personalities. Catching up enough to have to wait a week between episodes for the last 4 weeks, which has been tremendously rewarding.

Not that I had a major problem with it from the start. I thought it had a great look and a great mood about it, but lacked some star quality in the cast and was fairly opaque storywise. It always had potential. It was a question of whether you could be bothered to invest in that, knowing that it may go nowhere or even get cancelled very quickly – the TV universe is not known for being kind to sci-fi, as die-hard fans of Firefly still weep about regularly, and quite correctly.

In season one you watch it for the only person onboard that you have heard of, namely Thomas Jane (from The Mist and The Punisher) as det. Joe Miller, a cynical sleuth complete with a great anachronistic hat, who gets wrapped up in a mystery so mysterious it is often hard to work out what he is doing at all, and why… he literally comes and goes, for reasons that become apparent in later seasons. A frustrating and yet fascinating entity that must have been a real test to get right.

The show’s main cast also take a lot of time to warm up, to the point where you wonder who they are and whether they will be in it for long? Steven Strait, Dominique Tipper, Wes Chatham and Cas Anvar, as the ragtag collective of a small ship (they eventually name The Rocinante) that finds itself at the centre of a huge political shitstorm as the last bastion of impartial hope and moral reasoning, exude such little charisma at first it all seems doomed to fail. But, something magical begins to happen, by virtue of being in their presence a lot – you start to care. And the more you care the more the subsequent events have the power to stun you sideways!

More than anything else I can think of in recent years, this is a show that rewards patient investment. You will have definite moments of wanting to quit or take a long break, but the more faith you show in it, the more it will reward you in the long run. For me it was the climax of season 3 when I realised I was 100% into it, and that everything that had happened to that point was now starting to make sense in a larger context. Basically, what you think this is and what you assume it is about early doors, is not where it ends up. It goes somewhere way better!

Perhaps because it has the support of the book series as inspiration, the writing and story arc feels stronger and stronger in time. There are to date 9 books, so there is still scope to let this run for a good few years. And it does start to feel like there is a point where it will all completely tie together. Anyway, I am rambling as much as an average episode seems to do here. The point is, there is something right on the tightrope edge of classic or near miss going on with this. The cast have all really grown into their skins and personalities, and there are some moments in seasons 4 & 5 that left me jaw dropped at their dramatic weight!

Look, this isn’t going to be for everyone. It is very easy to say “I don’t get it” and move on with this show, but I am a sci-fi veteran , if not full geek, and I now absolutely love it. Cult status then is what we are talking about here. There will be a good wait for season six now, but the cliffhanger is mouth-watering, so I am in! It’s far from impossible they will ruin the vibe at some point and it will all fall flat… or, it could become the stuff of legend. I’ll be there to find out either way. No chance I am doing 5 seasons of something to drop out at that point.

Take away the space and the spaceships and this is a story about division and rights, and the hard work it takes to meet a diplomatic solution to the many differences and grievances that exist between different tribes and factions. What will some do to gain power? What will others do to ensure freedom and justice? How easy is it to waste life in the name of a cause? Oh, yeah and there’s also the little detail of an ancient alien civilisation that have been leaving tech and artifacts all over the solar system for us to fight over and try to control. As I say, the main story element of it all still feels like a partial mystery, and I love that!
  
Wonder Woman (2017)
Wonder Woman (2017)
2017 | Action, Fantasy, War
“What first attracted you Dr Mann to the movie with the scantily-clad Amazonians?”
Amazonians deliver! And how. The much anticipated new Wonder Woman movie is with us, and for once the film lives up to the wall-to-wall marketing hype.
With a heavy dose of mythology, Diana is growing up as the cossetted daughter of Hippolyta (Connie Nielsen, “Gladiator”), the Queen of the Amazons, on the hidden paradise island of Themyscira. Trained up as a warrior by Hippolyta’s sister, General Antiope (Robin Wright of “House of Cards”), Diana is clearly something special. Her ego is reinforced by the knowledge that she was made of clay with life breathed into her by the God Zeus. It’s enough to turn a girl’s head!

It’s 1917 and the man-free paradise is shaken up when an American spy by the name of Steve Trevor (Chris Pine, “Star Trek: Beyond“) crash-lands in the waters off Themyscira. (And yes… you didn’t mishear me… this film genuinely features a hero with both the names “Steve” and ‘Trevor”). Prince Eric – no, sorry, wrong film – is saved and awakened on the beach by Diana as the others arrive. “Thank God!”, say the Amazonians. “At last, someone to process the 200 year backlog of washing and ironing”!

But Steve (an “above average specimen”, LOL) is not long for paradise as he needs to return to the war with the results of his spy-work: a chemistry book stolen from the gorgeously deformed Dr Maru (Elena Anaya), gas-developer for the evil General Ludendorff (Danny Huston). Seeing Ludendorff to be her God-like nemesis Ares, Diana returns with Steve to the WW1 battlefields with the intent of killing the God of War and so ending the ‘war to end all wars’.

Much ‘fish out of water’ fun is had with Diana meeting civilised London society, although perhaps this section of the film doesn’t quite live up to its full potential: having ice cream for the first time, without any sign of surprise, all she can come up with is an amusing but rather lame “You must be very proud”.
But where the film really accelerates into awesomeness is when Diana reaches ‘The Front’. She emerges from the trenches like some shimmering vision of hotness, to set male and lesbian hearts a flutter. Its the most memorable trench-exit since the finale of “Black Adder 4”, and the subsequent scenes of Diana single-handedly facing the German guns is for me one of the most compelling and enjoyable scenes in any recent DC or Marvel movie.
Holding all this together is the ex-Israeli army-trainer Gal Gadot in the title role. And man oh man, what a Gal! Statuesque, athletic but also sweet, charming and emotionally fragile she completely owns this role from beginning to end. Gadot made a memorable entry in the otherwise poor “Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice” (#marthagate #neverforget #neverforgive) but nothing prepares you for just how great she is in this outing. In fact, I’ll go as far as saying that this film, although having a UK 12 certificate, is a film of immense danger to heterosexual teenagers of any age (#humor):
All boys will be cast into a lifetime of misery, never able to find a woman that can possibly live up to the impossibly perfect vision of Diana Prince, tearing up the German army with fists and whip!;
All girls WILL BECOME LESBIANS AFTER WATCHING THIS FILM!
Parents: you have been warned! 🙂
Chris Pine – the thinking women’s Chris Pratt – once again proves himself as a talented actor who manages to successfully morph to inhabit the role he plays. Much as he did in the excellent “Hell or High Water“, not once did I equate him to be James Tiberius Kirk after the first 5 minutes.

Effective in supporting roles are David Thewlis (“Harry Potter”) as a ‘helpful’ army bod and an almost unrecognisable Lucy Davis (“The Office”) as Etta, Steve’s comedic secretary. Steve’s rather unlikely sidekicks of Sameer (Said Taghmaoui, “American Hustle“), Charlie (Ewen Bremner, “Trainspotting”) and ‘The Chief’ (Eugene Brave Rock “The Revenant“) all rather fade into the woodwork by comparison.

I saw the film in 3D (“careful now… you could take an eye out with those things”) and very good it was too. Aside from some rather unnecessary Amazonian arrows, its never feels overdone, and elements of it were extremely effective.
Another star of the show is the superb Wonder Woman theme by Hans Zimmer, here rolled out by the film’s composer Rupert Gregson-Williams (“Hacksaw Ridge“). Unfortunately, the rest of the soundtrack is not particularly memorable.
The film shifts into more traditional yawn-worthy ‘superhero finale’ mode in the last twenty minutes, which is a bit of a shame. It’s also really curious that for such a sexually charged film there is an almost complete absence of ‘lurrve’ on show. The one love scene coquettishly fades to a view of the outside window. Was this to protect the film’s family friendly rating (probably) or that the director didn’t want to show her heroine in a remotely submissive position (possibly)? More frustratingly, the morning after there is no mention of it at all! (“Move along, nothing to see here”). I at least wanted some sort of recognition that a human/God liaison had taken place: Steve grimacing a bit when he sits down; or Diana on the blower to Themyscira saying “Yes, you were right Mum. 5 minutes in, and it just snapped clean off!”
I know my friend David Moody (of markanddave vblog fame, and a big DC/Marvel fan) was generally disappointed with the film. Conversely, Amy Andrews from the ever-excellent Oh That Film Blog loved it. I’m with Amy on this one, and greatly enjoyed it as a well-constructed action rollercoaster. The nearly two and a half hours sped by. By the way (and I took one for the team here) there is no “monkey” at the end of the film’s credit to hang on for.
Patty Jenkins (“Monster”) directs and knows the audience she is aiming to please. One can only imagine the empowering impact this film will have on young girls, crossing their wrists to ‘THAT’ music and, in their imagination, casting terrorists into the hell that they should be consigned to. In this week of yet more Isis atrocity in London, Wonder Woman is a role-model we could all stand and salute: “I believe in love” too.
  
Nightmares: A New Decade of Modern Horror
Nightmares: A New Decade of Modern Horror
Ellen Datlow | 2016 | Horror
8
7.0 (2 Ratings)
Book Rating
Shallaballah by [a:Mark Samuels|679023|Mark Samuels|https://images.gr-assets.com/authors/1485638875p2/679023.jpg]
Weird and I didn't completely understand it. I'm not big on surreal-like stories.
1.5 stars

Sob in the Silence by [a:Gene Wolfe|23069|Gene Wolfe|https://images.gr-assets.com/authors/1207670073p2/23069.jpg]
I liked it okay, but wasn't wowed. I feel like there was a missed opportunity and that the ending was too abrupt.
3 stars

Our Tun Too Will One Day Come by [a:Brian Hodge|167606|Brian Hodge|https://images.gr-assets.com/authors/1326937946p2/167606.jpg]
Folklore and horror equal an interesting tale. I'd read more from Brian Hodge.
4 stars

Dead Sea Fruit by [a:Kaaron Warren|1207458|Kaaron Warren|https://images.gr-assets.com/authors/1303270263p2/1207458.jpg]
So far the best in the book. Perfectly paced and pretty darned creepy.
4.5 stars

Closet Dreams by [a:Lisa Tuttle|38313|Lisa Tuttle|https://images.gr-assets.com/authors/1296860221p2/38313.jpg]
Haunting. That's the first word that popped into my head when I finished this story. Also, disturbing, sad, and devastating. Trigger warning: <spoiler>pedophilia and abduction, although not described in any kind of detail</spoiler>
5 stars

Spectral Evidence by [a:Gemma Files|765702|Gemma Files|https://images.gr-assets.com/authors/1266869494p2/765702.jpg]
I had a hard time with this, especially at the beginning since it's written as a case study with footnotes. Had this been written as a regular short story, I do believe the horror is there for a good tale, but as it stands it didn't feel at all scary or nightmarish.
2.5 stars

Hushabye by [a:Simon Bestwick|2830642|Simon Bestwick|https://s.gr-assets.com/assets/nophoto/user/u_50x66-632230dc9882b4352d753eedf9396530.png]
This was...okay. It sorta fit the book, but it also sorta didn't. The story almost felt noir, but not quite, plus everything was rather vague. Not bad, but fine.
3 stars

Very Low-Flying Aircraft by [a:Nicholas Royle|20435|Nicholas Royle|https://s.gr-assets.com/assets/nophoto/user/m_50x66-82093808bca726cb3249a493fbd3bd0f.png]
The only horror in this is the fact that it's included in a horror anthology. I'm not even sure what the point was.
1.5 stars

The Goosle by [a:Margo Lanagan|277536|Margo Lanagan|https://images.gr-assets.com/authors/1361153347p2/277536.jpg]
Meh. An even more twisted sequel of sorts to Hansel and Gretel sans Gretel. While it's gory, it didn't bother me but I didn't love it.
3 stars

The Clay Party by [a:Steve Duffy|376166|Steve Duffy|https://images.gr-assets.com/authors/1329037438p2/376166.jpg]
A take on the Donner Party told through diary entries and a letter at the end.
4 stars

Strappado by [a:Laird Barron|466494|Laird Barron|https://images.gr-assets.com/authors/1446325324p2/466494.jpg]
This didn't do anything for me; it was just too vague.
2 stars

Lonegan's Luck by [a:Stephen Graham Jones|96300|Stephen Graham Jones|https://images.gr-assets.com/authors/1458951688p2/96300.jpg]
Interesting, the writing and pace was good. The MC is a conman of the old(?) West. I didn't understand why he did what he did exactly, like were there circumstances of something that happened to the country as a whole, but it's not such a big thing. I only hoped he'd get a taste of his own medicine, so to speak.
3 stars

Mr. Pigsny by [a:Reggie Oliver|518983|Reggie Oliver|https://images.gr-assets.com/authors/1477924368p2/518983.jpg]
An odd, creepy little tale.
4 stars

At Night, When the Demons Come by [a:Ray Cluley|4446653|Ray Cluley|https://s.gr-assets.com/assets/nophoto/user/u_50x66-632230dc9882b4352d753eedf9396530.png]
Perfectly told, perfectly paced, with a horrible-ish ending. Definitely memorable.
4.5 stars

Was She Wicked? Was She Good by [a:Mary Rickert|7344680|Mary Rickert|https://s.gr-assets.com/assets/nophoto/user/u_50x66-632230dc9882b4352d753eedf9396530.png] (as M. Rickert)
Meh. Not bad, but not great either. I don't really have much to say about it.
3 stars

The Shallows by [a:John Langan|58413|John Langan|https://s.gr-assets.com/assets/nophoto/user/u_50x66-632230dc9882b4352d753eedf9396530.png]
I honestly don't even remember this one so it must not have been all that bad or good.
2 stars

Little Pig by [a:Anna Taborska|4343515|Anna Taborska|https://s.gr-assets.com/assets/nophoto/user/u_50x66-632230dc9882b4352d753eedf9396530.png]
Horrific only in the way of what you might do to for the survival of those you love. A quirky start with an powerful ending.
4 stars

Omphalos by [a:Livia Llewellyn|2966042|Livia Llewellyn|https://images.gr-assets.com/authors/1298571003p2/2966042.jpg]
Well-written but definitely not one for everybody. It's sick, a little too descriptive with the incest. I don't need an actual scene with explicitness. While I felt sorry for the MC and her brother, the story made me sad for actual victims. Possibly the point, but it's an upsetting story that some should probably skip. Also, what happened in the end? I get some of it, but it was so confusing and vague that I didn't fully comprehend the conclusion. It doesn't matter much, but I'm getting tired of vague endings or other scenes in these stories.
3.5 stars

How We Escaped Our Certain Fate by [a:Dan Chaon|16560|Dan Chaon|https://images.gr-assets.com/authors/1241719844p2/16560.jpg]
Interesting and thoughtful zombie tale. Slightly melancholy.
3.5 stars

That Tiny Flutter of The Heart I Used to Call Love by [a:Robert Shearman|128037|Robert Shearman|https://images.gr-assets.com/authors/1363523036p2/128037.jpg]
Strange. I'm not sure exactly what I thought of this tale, and I'm not sure I totally get what happened at the end, but that seems to be my lot with some of these stories.
3 stars

Interstate Love Song (Murder Ballad No. 8) by [a:Caitlín R. Kiernan|4798562|Caitlín R. Kiernan|https://images.gr-assets.com/authors/1491390729p2/4798562.jpg]
I liked this story. It was....interesting to say the least. Not my favorite but solid.
3.75 stars

Shay Corsham Worsted by [a:Garth Nix|8347|Garth Nix|https://images.gr-assets.com/authors/1207583754p2/8347.jpg]
3.5 stars

The Atlas of Hell by [a:Nathan Ballingrud|2957979|Nathan Ballingrud|https://images.gr-assets.com/authors/1354770124p2/2957979.jpg]
4.5 stars

Ambitious Boys Like You by [a:Richard Kadrey|37557|Richard Kadrey|https://images.gr-assets.com/authors/1252945001p2/37557.jpg]
4 - 4.5 stars

 Okay, I kinda ran out of reviewing steam near the end, but the last two stories were excellent.
  
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Amanda (96 KP) rated You in Books

Mar 11, 2019  
You
You
Caroline Kepnes | 2014 | Crime, Mystery
7
8.0 (27 Ratings)
Book Rating
I first learned about you, Joe, when I sat one Sunday morning on Netflix and I could not keep my eyes off of the promo for this show about you fixating on a blonde woman. Naturally, I was intrigued and I had to learn about you, Joe, and how exactly you could see stalking as a way of getting close to someone and love them. I do wish you hadn't been a manager at a bookstore, Joe. I'm a booknerd, it was difficult to not like you, most of the time.

I watched your story and then I listened to your story. Joe, there are quite a few differences between the BookJoe and the NetflixJoe. Either way, Joe, I judge you harshly at each passing moment when you follow this girl, Guinevere Beck (can we just laugh at the irony that her name is Guinevere? If you haven't read King Author, you should) or stalk her using her old phone that she believed lost.

Just a little nit pick on my part, Netflix, Android and Apple DO NOT use the same cloud! They are ENTIRELY different companies with entirely different hardware. There was no way, NetflixJoe, that you could have seen the woman's emails or texts from an Android phone when she got a new phone that is an Apple. Rant over, now back to you, Joe.

BookJoe is more wordy and more story telling. Perhaps your warped mind may have believed Guinevere (Beck in both stories) might have flirted with you. This begs the question, what made her stand out from any other WOMAN who doesn't wear a bra (and don't state that you can't tell because you point that out about Beck every chance you got)? It couldn't have been the books she purchased as how you mentally made fun of the fact that she bought a certain book because the author was a relative of a celebrity.

I'll give you credit, NetflixJoe, while NetflixBeck was still a bit off with her procrastination and her obsessiveness with a crack head and drinking, she still grew some character and made for someone with potential. BookBeck, on the other hand, BookJoe, you really could have picked a much better person to stalk.

BookBeck is highly ditzy, a pushover, loves to drink (a lot!), and prefers casual encounters (which you found that out by going through her email) with other men, except you! She claims she wants to write, yet spends little if any time doing it, and while you do somewhat encourage her, it doesn't work. She just wants to say she wants to write, but not do it. And when she does write, and BookJoe you have stated this a little annoyance before, it's pure pornography.

BookJoe, I often pitied you because you are highly intelligent yet so stupid. BookBeck was all wrong for you and you spent all this time trying to make her right and doing it all the wrong way. Oh, Joe, you just couldn't take it. And you couldn't see it. So stupid, Joe.

Okay, as fun as that was, here's the remainder of the review without me talking to Joe. The show on Netflix was so hard to turn off because it was that intense. No, I DO NOT ship Beck and Joe. HE IS STILL A STALKER!! The show really showed that even the people who seem all nice and laid back CAN BE THE PERSON THAT IS DANGEROUS! The book does the same thing as well.

In the book, it's all told in Joe's point of view, and he could very well be not a very reliable narrator. All of it is told from what he sees and sometimes what he wishes he could see. At least on Netflix, though Joe narrates mostly, you're able to see the evidence instead of going off by his word. He also gives off of how delusional he really is when it comes to Beck. He makes himself BELIEVE that Beck is just suffering from daddy issues with all these men and he can help her and make her only want him.

The story itself was really well put together. The book will definitely not give you the shipping feels like Netflix seems to do for some people. Most of the time, I do just say out loud how stupid Joe really is and how he maybe he should move on. I wasn't lying when I said BookBeck was all those things. She really was. I actually did not like her character at all. To me, there wasn't much growth except for small things here and there, but for the most part, she just remained this person who had daddy issues and tried to do everything she could to NOT write. I'll give her credit for finding out about Joe and trying to figure out how to get away, but that's about it.

The show is a great watch cause the story is pretty good. If you want to see everything and not go by Joe, watch the show first. If you are curious as to how BookJoe started and became NetflixJoe, read this book first. Do you think he's a reliable narrator?

I have to point out the similarities with these characters that of King Arthur, however. I mentioned that earlier because Beck's first name is Guinevere. Think about it (if you've read King Arthur when you were in school).

Joe is Arthur - he manages a bookstore and reads. He fixates himself on a woman who apparently is so enchanting that he must have her no matter what.

Benji in retrospect is Merlin - He may be hooked on drugs and a total douche, but he WARNS Joe about Beck and that she is indeed crazy and not faithful. Joe does NOT listen.

Dr. Nicky is Lancelot - he is a therapist to both Joe and Beck (separately and without the other knowing) and he tries to guide Joe through his therapy, but in the end, he falls for Beck and they have an affair.

Beck IS GUINEVERE - Not at all the person she appears to be for Joe and winds up being entirely unfaithful and suffers for it.

**I haven't figured out Peach, but she's just crazy**

It is a two part series - I need a break from Joe before I think about reading the second book.
  
Rather You Than Me by Rick Ross
Rather You Than Me by Rick Ross
2017 | Rhythm And Blues
Rick Ross is a rapper and CEO of Maybach Music Group. Not too long ago, he released “Rather You Than Me“, a star-studded album filled with expensive thoughts and gun-toting lyrics.

This is Ross’ ninth studio album, and we can agree that his wisdom and wishful thinking are two ingredients which make this project noteworthy.

1) Rick Ross – “Apple of My Eye” (ft. Raphael Saadiq)

Ross, who used to view himself as a fat ugly ni^^a who wouldn’t be anything, now feels out of place in a room full of failures. His lyrical growth is obvious, and Major Nine’s production is reminiscent of ‘90s Funk/R&B. The mood is laid back with choppy drums beating to Beanie Sigel’s “I Feel It in the Air’ vibe.

Ross injects his thoughts about Meek’s & Nicki’s breakup, “I told Meek I wouldn’t trust Nicki, instead of beefing with your dog, you just give him some distance.” But the questionable, “I’m happy Donald Trump became the president because we gotta destroy before we elevate,” had us scratching our heads. Ni^^a what? Anyhow, this is a dope track and we will bump it again.

2) Rick Ross – “Santorini Greece”
Ross realizes that his success doesn’t exempt him from being crucified like Christ or anyone else. But one thing’s for sure, success gave Ross the ability to travel the world, and the bragging rights to say that he put Santorini, Greece on the map.

3) Rick Ross – “Idols Become Rivals” (ft. Chris Rock)
After letting the first two songs marinate, Ross adds a plot to the scene and pens a letter to Birdman, the CEO of Cash Money Records. If Tupac’s “Against All Odds” is the realest sh^t ever written in hip-hop, then this song is not too far behind. Ross airs out the rap mogul’s dirty laundry while taking him to the cleaners at the same time.

Black Metaphor’s track is laid back and Ross’s melodic flow is hypnotic. And Ross reaches Godfather status when he chooses to stick up for DJ Khalid, BG, Lil Wayne, Mannie Fresh, etc.


4) Rick Ross – “Trap Trap Trap” (ft. Young Thug, Wale)
Ross turns up the pulse and takes us on a trap journey with Young Thug and Wale. But unfortunately, Ross talking about trapping isn’t stimulating and doesn’t contribute to the momentum gained by the first three songs. Quite frankly, Ross already established his trapping legacy on his first album.

Now, it just sounds repetitive, causing our emotional attachment to depart temporarily, especially when Wale raps, “I ain’t nothing like them trap guys,” got us questioning the lineup, even though Wale delivers a dope verse. If the first three songs brought us to the third eye or crown chakra, then this song took us down to the solar chakra.


5) Rick Ross – “Dead Presidents” (ft. Future, Jeezy, Yo Gotti)
Ross goes lower to the root chakra and brings in a drug-dealing line up to support his trapping movement. But the drug-dealing references and gun-toting accolades blow a huge black cloud over Rather You Than Me, an optimistic album that Ross created to showcase his happiness of seeing other survivalist enjoying the finer things in life.

So, every time a dark thought or a dire situation is inserted, it defeats Ross’ higher purpose for the album. We would’ve appreciated this song more if it was on another project with a trapping theme.

6) Rick Ross – “She’s on My D*ck” (ft. Gucci Mane)
A dope, hard-knocking track produced by Beat Billionaire, keeps the momentum going horizontally when it should be moving vertically north towards Ross’ original script. This song has a mediocre theme and suffers from lack of creativity in the chorus, but the beat saves the song. [usr 3.0]

7) Rick Ross – “I Think She Like Me” (ft. Ty Dolla $ign)
Ross probably heard us yelling, “Stick to the script” because he restores order over J-Pilot- & C Gutta-produced track.

Ross raps with a Barry White vocal tone, “I once got no allowance, now I got the crown. I said I was The Boss, nobody made a sound. Really had to see them things, this level story telling. Who else could flip a chorus into 40 million?”

Ross wins here, and he wins big. One of the best in the business to talk that talk and Ty Dollar $ign comes through in the clutch.

8) Rick Ross – “Powers That Be” (ft. Nas)
Now in storytelling mode, Ross enlists lyricist Nas to help him usher his concept. The lyrics are on point but the fullness of the song is lackluster. We expected more, but only got a few firecrackers igniting, roman candles busting, minus the major firework show. It felt like an appetizer. You know? If you eat enough, you might be too full to finish your incoming meal.

9) Rick Ross – “Game Ain’t Based on Sympathy”
Ross reminisces about his past over a dope soul-inspired track with a groovy/psychedelic loop that blends in naturally with Ross’s deep monotone.

We can listen to Ross rap for hours, especially if he’s talking about conscious issues.

10) Rick Ross – “Scientology”
As the momentum, gradually rises back to the crown, Ross flows over a dope, wonderland of sounds track produced by Bink! & The Youngstars. Like going up an elevator, Ross took us to a destination that we didn’t know existed.

11) Lamborghini Doors – (ft. Meek Mill, Anthony Hamilton)
If it’s not broke, don’t fix it. Ross’ decision to follow in the same direction as “Scientology” was the right one because Ross’ and Meek Mill’s chemistry is heartfelt. Since the momentum is moving upwards towards the sky, it’s fitting when Meek said, “We coming up like them Lamborghini doors.”

12) Triple Platinum – (ft. Scrilla)
The prayer at the beginning does the album justice; and when Ross said, “Me and HOV back and forth like I’m triple platinum,” we saw how far Ross had come, and how far he still must go.

13) Maybach Music V – (ft. Katt Rockell & Dej Loaf)
Ross and Dej Loaf rap over an airy/dreamy track produced by Beat Butcha & Buda & Grandz. More expensive thoughts and money spending don’t hurt the momentum if the topic is about the finer things in life.

14) Summer Seventeen – (ft. Yo Gotti)
In conclusion, Ross ends the album on a gangster note. And the Beat Billionaire-produced track is hard as steel and bump-worthy. We love the theme, “I want my ni^^as rich by summer seventeen”, a wishful thought like that is what ‘Rather You Than Me’ is all about—everybody eating.

https://www.bongminesentertainment.com/rick-ross-rather-review/
  
Proving Grounds
Proving Grounds
2019 | Dice Game, Fantasy, Fighting, Real-time
Maia Strongheart sees the eight opponents surrounding her and knows exactly how to handle each one. She makes a dash for #4, a simpleton Warrior in Training, and whoosh – misses. “Huh, that’s never happened to me before,” she thinks. Performing a daring backflip whilst targeting the Clan Elder in the #6 position with a well-placed finishing blow and whoosh – her armor seems to part like the Red Sea as the Clan Elder finds its weakness and delivers a wound to our heroine. “WHO IS PLAYING ME?” Maia wonders. It’s me. Travis. The worst player of Proving Grounds. Poor Maia.


Proving Grounds is a solo fighting dice game with real-time phases. Players will win by defeating eight opponents in battle and will lose (often, in my case) if the heroine suffers too many wounds. The game is played over several rounds, and Renegade has provided an app to act as a timer during the rolling dice phase. Obviously I am terrible at the game, but how does it play and do I feel like continuing to suffer subsequent losses?
To setup a basic game, place the Encounter Board in the middle of the table. Shuffle the enemy cards (with swords & board backs) and deal one per slot around the Encounter Board. These are the first set of enemies Maia will be fighting. Place Battle Markers (silver ninja stars that track wounds inflicted to enemies) in the outlined spaces of the enemy cards. Place Maia’s health token (a heart) on the tracker and one each of the green, yellow, and blue dice on the health area in the space with a rainbow surround. Fill the exhaustion track with one white die per space (on the right side of the Encounter Board), and take the rest of the dice into hand to use as the dice pool. For this review I also used the Dragonling Die module.

As mentioned, Proving Grounds is played solo over a series of rounds. Each round consists of three phases: Roll Dice, Resolve Attacks, and Recover. The first phase of the game, Roll Dice, is also the most chaotic. During this phase the app timer (or your phone or sand timer or sun dial) will allow 60 seconds to roll the dice and arrive at a final result. The interesting aspect of this mechanic at play here is that only sets of dice may be rerolled, not singles. So players may only roll that set of four 3s and not the solitary 1 sitting there all alone. This causes some brain freeze because many games utilize this in reverse, where only singles may be rerolled. Factor that into a 60 second frenzy to get the greatest results and brains will smoke.

Once the timer is up or players are satisfied with the rolled results, they move to the next phase: Resolve Attacks. Each number rolled on the dice correspond to the enemy’s position around the Encounter Board. So that solitary 1 that was rolled earlier is assigned to the enemy in position #1. Here’s the kick in the rear though: any single dice assigned to an enemy will result in a wound dealt to Maia, and would require the player to sacrifice one of the dice to the exhaustion track! Should an enemy require three or more dice but only two are assigned, or if zero dice are assigned, nothing happens to Maia nor the enemy. But those dang single dice will come back to haunt the player. A lot, if they play like I do. Some enemies will require at least one of the dice to be the blue/green/yellow die in order to be successful while others are just straight number of dice. Calculating everything that is needed during the Roll Dice phase is something that I have yet to master.


After attacks are resolved, players enter the Recover phase. During this phase players will gather all assigned dice from the round as well as any dice on the lowest spot of the exhaustion track to be used for the next round. Any enemies that were defeated have left an empty slot on the Encounter Board, so a new enemy will now fill that void. Play continues in this fashion of three phases per round until either eight enemies have been defeated or Maia suffers too many wounds to continue.
Components. I am fascinated by how few components are needed to put a game like this together. Yes, the Encounter Board is mostly unnecessary, but a great way to organize the game and keep everything spacially relevant for those of us that need that. The cards are fine quality and the game has great art. The dice are very cool, but I am unsure how the colors pop for our colorblind gamer friends. While the game doesn’t necessarily refer to the damage markers as “ninja stars” I cannot get over the fact that they are ninja stars. They are certainly out of place in a game like this where I encountered zero ninjas in my plays. Everything else, though, is great and it comes in a nice-sized box: a little smaller than my Century: Golem Edition box.

It was Kane Klenko’s birthday recently, so I wished him a happy birthday on social media and informed him that I was celebrating by playing Proving Grounds. His response was absolutely perfect: “Good luck!” Well, Kane, I never have good luck with this one! It is certainly a combination of poor dice rolling, poor decision making whilst rolling dice, and just dumb luck (emphasis on dumb). I love playing this game but it is infuriating that I have yet to beat it! Even with just the first Dragonling Die module! Gahhhhhh!!!

However, Proving Grounds is an excellent dice game that breaks out of the Yahtzee clone mold and into something fresh and exciting. The twist of only being able to reroll sets instead of singles makes for interesting decisions when you really need to defeat enemy #5 but just cannot roll ANY 5s to save your life (in the game). I just want to beat it once with the Dragonling Die so I can start adding in other modules (oh yes, there are several other modules to add). When games force me to WANT to play them more and more, even for the sheer hope of victory, I consider that a mark of distinction and a sign of a great game.

So if you are like me and enjoy the pain of defeat over and over again then I invite you to try Proving Grounds. It will not be easy. But if you happen to beat it, especially on your first try, please let me know. I need all the cheat codes I can get here. It will stay in my collection probably forever because I just need to overcome it, and then once I figure it out completely, I will just need to wallop it over and over to teach it a lesson. Enjoy Proving Grounds everyone!
  
Tales from the Shadowhunter Academy is a collection of short stories or novellas that delve deeper into the Shadow World. It follows Simon’s time at Shadowhunter Academy but is rife with additional fascinating information. Overall, it is a highly entertaining installment in the Shadowhunter Chronicles and I would definitely recommend that you read it prior to the Dark Artifices series. Please do not read this review if you have not yet read the Infernal Devices or the Mortal Instruments series as there will be plot points mentioned.

The first novella is Welcome to Shadowhunter Academy, where Simon decides that he wants to become a Shadowhunter. After losing his memories, Simon must decide who he wants to be – a mundane that does not remember the Shadow World or a future Shadowhunter that may regain some of his memories. He meets a collection of students, both Shadowhunter and mundane that will be with him for the next two years as they train to become proper Shadowhunters. Although we know these characters for less time than those we’ve grown to love in the other series, they are still likable and well-developed. Over the course of the two years that the novellas take place, each character learns what it means to be a Shadowhunter, to be loyal to their friends, and to not always take the Law at face value (thanks to Simon’s incessant dialogues that Downworlders are not lesser people.) Of course, we’ve loved Simon since we met him in the Mortal Instruments but this was a great series of stories that allowed us to get to know him better (even though he was missing his memories).

The second is The Lost Herondale, in which we learn more about the beliefs of the Shadowhunters. Deserting your fellow Shadowhunters is considered the worst thing that you can do – so the punishment is severe. This novella tells us the story of Tobias Herondale and shows Simon that not every story is as black and white as it may be presented. We also learn that Catarina Loss, Magnus’ friend and current teacher at Shadowhunter Academy, saved Tobias’ child – which means that there may be a lost Herondale in the world. This plot line is mentioned first in the Mortal Instruments and pursued more in the Dark Artifices, so that is one reason why I believe this series of novellas should be read prior to beginning Lady Midnight.

The third is the Whitechapel Fiend, in which Tessa comes to Shadowhunter Academy to teach a lesson. It was lovely to see more of our favourite characters from the Infernal Devices, especially because this was a later period in time than the books so we got a glimpse into their future lives. The fourth is Nothing but Shadows, which chronicles James Herondale’s time at the Academy. It made me miss the Infernal Devices and impatient for the next series that Cassandra Clare will be writing featuring the children we got glimpses of.

The fifth is The Evil We Love and a tale from the time of Valentine’s Circle. The Circle’s history is considered a dark time and infrequently talked about in the series. Most Shadowhunters who were involved are either ashamed of their actions and largely refuse to talk about it, or dead. It’s always fascinating to see what the power and influence of a charismatic leader can get people to do. Simon learns that he knows better than to just go along with the crowd and speaks out against ideas that he doesn’t agree with. It makes him even more likable as a character because I’m sure we all have experienced times when we disagreed with someone we cared about and how difficult it might be not to just follow their lead.

The sixth is Pale Kings and Princes, which creates some foundation for the world we will experience in the Dark Artifices. We learn how Mark and Helen Blackthorn came to be, with their half-faerie lineage. It is a heart-wrenching tale and makes you question the harshness of the Cold Peace. Helen is no longer trusted, and essentially banished, because of her heritage and that action fractures her entire family – as the Blackthorn parents were murdered during the War. Helen was willing to take care of her family, but she was torn away and those kinds of wounds will certainly affect the characters of the Dark Artifices in the future.

The seventh is Bitter of Tongue essentially just reiterates the point that Downworlders are not lesser beings than mundanes or Shadowhunters. We get to see more of the Blackthorn clan, the utterly repulsive treatment of the half-fae children Mark and Helen, and a lovely wedding.
The eighth is The Fiery Trial, in which Simon and Clary are asked to serve at witnesses for Julian and Emma’s parabatai ceremony. The story focuses more on the relationship between Simon and Clary than Julian and Emma but it was nice to see the ceremony. Jace and Alec became parabati prior to the Mortal Instruments, so until now, we had not seen the ceremony performed. It also made Simon and Clary evaluation their own friendship and the depth of their connection.

The ninth is Born to Endless Night and revolves around the beloved Malec, as well as Magnus Banes short tenure at Shadowhunter Academy. The character development shown in this novella was a culmination of Alec’s experiences throughout the Mortal Instruments and how he grew as a person. While not confident and cocky like Jace, he had become secure in his own skin and learned to love (romantically). It was the most normal of the novellas, showing a behind-the-scenes type look into the lives of our favourite Mortal Instruments characters.

The final novella in the collection is Angels Twice Descending in which Simon and the other mundanes of the Academy have their Ascension. Simon must decide whether he is ready to face the risks, to give up his mundane life and embrace the dangers and responsibility of being a Shadowhunter. It was a beautiful wrap up to the series, allowing Simon the time to explore the life he was leaving behind and the family that he was gaining. As I mentioned before, I would highly recommend reading this series of novellas as it only enhances the Shadowhunter experience (and deepens the world).
  
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Purple Phoenix Games (2266 KP) rated Jetpack Joyride in Tabletop Games

Jan 8, 2020 (Updated Jan 8, 2020)  
Jetpack Joyride
Jetpack Joyride
2019 | Puzzle, Racing, Real-time, Video Game Theme
It should come as no surprise that I love to play board games. Hence my involvement in this wonderful group! But besides board games, I also enjoy my fair share of video games too. These two worlds of gaming occasionally collide when a classic from one realm is transferred over to the other! Is the adaptation as fun as the original, or does it leave much to be desired?

Originally a mobile game, Jetpack Joyride follows our main character, Barry, as he attempts to escape a top-secret lab with a stolen jetpack! He must avoid being hit by zappers, annihilated by lasers, and blown away by missiles in the process. If Barry succeeds, he escapes with not only the high-tech jetpack, but also with as many gold coins and other top-secret gadgets as he can get his hands on! So the risk is definitely worth the reward. But if Barry is unable to escape, he will face the consequences for his unauthorized joyride… In all honesty, I had never heard of Jetpack Joyride before I Kickstarted the board game version, so I downloaded it on my phone to see how it plays. Do you remember Flappy Bird? The mobile version of Jetpack Joyride is kiiiinda like that, but more exciting and way less infuriating. It’s free to download in the App Store and Google Play Store, so check it out if you’re interested! Anyway, back to the board game version. The premise is the same as the app – you have to create a path for Barry to use for his escape from the lab, utilizing the gadgets available to you and collecting gold coins on your way.

DISCLAIMER: We are using the Kickstarter Deluxe version of the game. We do have the expansions from the KS campaign, but will not be using those for this review. Also, we do not intend to cover every single rule included in the rule book, but will describe the overall game flow and major rule set so that our readers may get a sense of how the game plays. For more in depth rules, you may purchase a copy from the publisher directly or from your FLGS. -T

Jetpack Joyride is a real-time game of tile placement in which players are racing to see who can complete their run (path through the lab) the fastest. The game lasts for 3 runs, and points are earned throughout all runs. To setup, each player receives a set of 4 lab sector cards and sets them on the table in front of them in numerical order, 1-4. Three mission cards (cards that score points at the end of the run) are revealed and available for all players. Players may also have gadgets, available only to them, to help score extra points. When a run begins, all players grab translucent polyominoes (like matte versions of bits from Blokus) from the common pool and place them on their lab cards to create an unbroken path through the lab. There are specific placement restrictions that I will leave for you to discover in the rulebook. The game has no set time limit for each run, but it is a race to complete a path before your opponents. At the end of the run, points are tallied for completed missions and gadget cards. Easy, right? Here’s a small twist – before starting the next run, all players pick up their lab cards and pass them to the player on their left. So each run, players are looking at new cards and must find new paths through the lab! New mission cards and gadgets are revealed before subsequent runs as well. The player with the most points at the end of all 3 runs is the winner!

Jetpack Joyride is a fast-paced, exciting, and surprisingly strategic game that keeps all players engaged and entertained. And that’s what I love about it. First of all, real-time games are always high-energy, at least in my opinion. It’s nearly impossible to stay calm and collected when you’re literally racing against your opponents! Jetpack Joyride is definitely not a passive game, and there’s so much action and excitement that you sometimes forget you’re literally just laying tiles on cards. The next thing I love about this game is how deceptively strategic it is. Laying tiles to form a legal path across cards is not complicated, but doing so while also trying to earn extra points by completing missions (like placing 3 tiles of the same shape in a row, for example) adds a strategic element that you don’t expect. You’re not only trying to finish your run the fastest, but you’ve also got to fulfill the requirements for multiple mission and gadget cards too. One misplaced tile could decimate a run for you, so you’ve always got to be thinking several tiles in advance.

Going along with that, another neat thing about Jetpack Joyride is that all players are drawing tiles from a common pool. There is a finite number of tiles, and a specific number of the different shapes, so if the shape of tile you need is gone from the pool, you’re outta luck! You have to think and move quickly, otherwise you might get knocked out of a run, and that costs you valuable end-game points. For such a simple game, Jetpack Joyride also has a lot of variability. All lab cards are double-sided, and can be mixed and matched in any combination, as long as they are in a numerical set of 1-4. There are so many possibilities, chances are you won’t ever play with the same card combo twice….and if you do, chances are you won’t remember it 😛 All of these aspects elevate this game from a simple party game to a strategically fun game that can be played with any player count.

Overall, I think Jetpack Joyride is great. After my first play, I rated it a 4+, but after a few more I’ve changed my rating to a 5. As you can see from our scores above, Travis and our guest judge Luke enjoyed it as well. It’s a nice, light game that can be used as a filler between heavier games, or as a main-event game all on its own. Definitely a game I will use with newer gamers, and the strategic side will keep me coming back for more. I think Jetpack Joyride will get a lot of playtime from me, and it was worth my investment on Kickstarter. Purple Phoenix Games gives it a jet-powered 15 / 18.
  
Zombie Kidz Evolution
Zombie Kidz Evolution
2018 | Horror, Kids Game, Zombie / Survivalist
You know how you are just browsing BGG and come across some surprising statistics? For example, if you click on a ranking number on a game’s profile page, it will take you to the entire list of games including that search term. I do not believe I had checked on “Children’s Game” ranks for quite some time, so I was taken aback when I noticed that Zombie Kidz Evolution ranks #1 overall, per BGG users. Well, heck. I have children. They like games. I should probably check this out, right? Absolutely!

Zombie Kidz Evolution is a cooperative, horror/zombies, dice rolliling, variable player powers, LEGACY game… for children?? Those mechanics do not scream “children” to me at all! What gives here? In this one, players take on the role of children protecting their schoolhouse from infiltrating zombies, and all players win or lose together. Through multiple plays, however, the game evolves and the way in which the game is played also evolves. Oh, and there’s also stickers, which ALL children love.


To setup, determine play count and which side of the board to play. Each player chooses a standee to represent them, place out one zombie tile in each area with a fence gate, and the other zombies randomly in a line near the board. The lock tokens should be placed nearby and the die is given to the starting player (in our house, my son, as he will cry if we didn’t). The player standees, “kids” from here out, are placed in the central room of the schoolhouse and the game is ready to begin!
Zombie Kidz Evolution is played over several turns, and each turn consists of three or four actions. First, the active player rolls the die. The die face determines in which school zone a zombie tile will spawn. There are five colored spaces relating to five of the six die faces, with one die face being blank – no zombies spawn on that roll. After placing the zombie tile in the appropriate zone, the player may move their kid to an adjacent zone or leave them where they are. However, if a zone contains three or more zombies, the kids cannot enter.

After movement, the player may then eliminate one or two zombies in their zone. This happens automatically – there are no combat mechanics. The player simply removes one or two zombie tiles and places them at the end of the line off-board. Should two kids occupy the same zone outside the school where a fence gate is unlocked, they may high-five and place a lock token on the gate. After this step, the die is passed to the next player for their turn.


The game continues in this fashion of taking turns spawning and eliminating zombies until the players have locked all four gates outside the schoolhouse. A brain sticker is applied to the appropriate space on the back of the rulebook to track victories, and if enough stickers have been applied, players may be allowed to open one of the 13 sealed envelopes. Inside these envelopes are an assortment of items, most of which I am unable to disclose. However, more stickers may be applied to certain components, thus changing their functions completely for subsequent plays – just as all good legacy games provide. If playing with children, expect to play several games in sequence, as it is very addicting.
Components. The physical components in this game are all fine. The standees, board, and tokens are unspectacular, but do their job. The die is cool, but under weak lighting the blue and green can be difficult to differentiate. I will not discuss anything contained in the envelopes, and I apologize for that, but I do not want to spoil anything. The art style, though, is what does it for me. Every component proudly displays amazing artwork, and half the fun is watching little ones stare and smile at the components on the table. My only request here, and I cannot believe I am saying this, is that I do wish the player pieces were minis instead of standees, but I understand the decision to keep the cardboard standees in to keep the price point super reasonable. Outside that, this little box has a ton of game inside it.

My 5-year-old son is completely addicted to this game! He requests we play almost every night, and I happily oblige, as I really enjoy it as well. Yes, it is very light. Hardcore gamers probably will not get much enjoyment out of it, though I could certainly be wrong as well. We have found it to provide so much joy to our family, and though the box says it is intended for ages 7+, I encourage parents of younger children to give it a try as well. The turns are simple: roll, spawn, move, remove, and possibly lock. We are a modern household, so zombies in this game are just “taken care of” instead of “killed,” so we are able to skirt our problematic verbiage. There isn’t much we can do to soften the art of all the kids wielding weapons, though, so beware if that is against your parenting style.

As a game, and especially as a children’s game, this one is just incredible. I can certainly understand why it is rated #1 in Children’s Games on BGG. The game tackles more advanced mechanics and throws them into a game meant for little ones. And it does this beautifully. Unfortunately, though, I have noticed that my son now is exhibiting some completionist behaviors, as he likes to complete missions in the rulebook so we can advance toward opening more and more envelopes. It is so very easy for Purple Phoenix Games to give this one a well-deserved 20 / 24. That score includes opinions from not only Laura and me, but also my wife and son. We all love it!

If you are looking for an lighter (at first) legacy game to get your feet wet, I cannot recommend Zombie Kidz Evolution enough. Adults may be able to breeze through a few games in a night, but don’t expect it to be a pushover. The die will still roll against your wishes and fill up zones you wanted to clear, and then that blocks your movement through that zone, or you may find it difficult to travel around the board very easily, as kids can only move one zone each turn, so when they are three zones away from trauma, the pressure becomes real. We have probably lost almost as many games as we have won, but we have always had a great time. And when you are spending this quality time with the people you love, “taking care of” zombies, you want to tell the whole world to enjoy the game as much as you have. So, go grab yourselves a copy right now!
  
X-Men: First Class (2011)
X-Men: First Class (2011)
2011 | Action, Drama, Sci-Fi
X-Men finally given a decent treatment (0 more)
Fassbender's Irish accent (0 more)
I'm not an X-Men fan. I know, it's strange, right? I mean, I'm a comic book fan in general. Iron Man's a dude. I dig the Hulk. I love all things Batman (except when Joel Schumacher tweaked the Batman's Batnipples). I geekgasmed all over my trousers in the lead up to THE DARK KNIGHT and actually watching it at an IMAX was like losing my virginity again. But the X-Men? Kinda leave me cold. Even though, on the face of it, it should be pretty awesome. Mutant humans with the ability to do just about anything you can imagine, fighting each other and various other bad things? Why the hell wouldn't I like that? But I could never get into it. The first X-Men movie, way back in 2000, left me feeling indifferent. It was OK, but nothing special. The second one was worse. The third one just plain awful. WOLVERINE: ORIGINS was quite fun, but then, a hard drinking, smoking, swearing brawler with friendly mutton-chops and blades in his hands was always going to be appealing to me.

And so, it was with a feeling of complete indifference that I flashed my Cineworld Unlimited card at a bored usher and got my ticket and a mixed slushie last week. I only went to see it because my buddy wanted to and, well, we'd missed the start of THE HANGOVER PART II.

So, into the darkened room early for a change. Managed to get prime seats. Mainly because the auditorium was pretty much empty. Something I didn't think was the most fortuitous portent to the movie we were about to watch. On the plus side however, as we were watching a comic book movie, we got the comic book trailer reel... First was THE GREEN LANTERN, which excited me a little (mainly because I have a man crush on Ryan Reynolds). Then came CAPTAIN AMERICA, which excited me a little more (mainly because it looks FREAKIN' AWESOME). Then we got RISE OF THE PLANET OF THE APES, which intrigued me (mainly because James Franco was doing a 'learned man' accent). Presumably because Cineworld were already scraping the comic book movie barrel, they then repeated the APES trailer, which killed the mood and left me feeling indifferent again.

But I digress. I think you get that I didn't really give a crap one way or the other about the movie I was about to watch. The opening scenes however, are set in a WWII concentration camp and I found my interest piqued. At first, I couldn't figure out whether it had been newly filmed or if they were recycling one of the flashbacks from one of the earlier movies. Then, Kevin Bacon. Suddenly, I was transfixed by the German pouring forth from his mouth which seemed authentic and I couldn't quite work out if he was lip-synching or not. That's somewhat besides the point though, as the scene itself was very tense and only marginally spoiled by the child actor when it was his turn to scream the longest NOOOOOOO!!! (sorry, NEEEEEEEEIN!!!) since Adolf Vader in Episode 3.

The film very quickly moved on in leaps and bounds, sucking me in and winning me over. Kevin Bacon seemed to enjoy hamming it up as the evil Sebastian Shaw. James McAvoy is an exceptionally talented chap and made for an excellent Charles Xavier - a cocky, beer-swilling, genius ladies man. Similarly, Michael Fassbender did a top notch job in playing Erik Lehnsherr, coming across as a Holocaust-surviving Bond, maybe even slightly cooler. Even Jason Flemyng was pretty good, although I don't think he actually spoke at all, which might have helped his case.

I loved the whole origins story, seeing how Xavier and Lehnsherr were good friends despite their obvious differences and started the School for the Gifted together was pretty cool. The only little blight on the movie (after the whole NEEEEEEEIN!!! incident) was that when it came time for Fassbender to don Magneto's helmet, the prop department had obviously measured his noggin wrong and it was clearly too tight. I say that because, every time he slapped it on his dome, his accent turned from gruff-hero-of-indeterminate-country-of-origin to... Well, to Oirish. The only reason I can think of is that the helmet was squeezing his bonce a bit too snugly. It didn't happen when Kevin Bacon was wearing it.

Helmet business aside, on the whole, I left feeling like I'd just seen a proper comic book movie. Full of fantastical, incredible things dancing around a plot that made sense and characters that I, on the whole, cared about at least a little. There was even a Wolverine cameo in it, which made me chuckle more than it should have. Far from being indifferent towards the X-Men now, I'm looking forward to seeing where the story goes next. I just hope Matthew Vaughn is directing again. He's turned out an X-Men film that is much, much better than mediocre and they'd be idiots to give it to anyone else.