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LeftSideCut (3778 KP) rated Aquaslash (2019) in Movies
Dec 2, 2020
The premise of Aquaslash is painfully simple, but immediately appeals to anyone that has even a passing interest in slasher flicks - A mystery assailant inserts giant blades into a water slide tunnel, at a busy water park. That's it. That's the film.
Well, unfortunately that's not all of it...
The film opens with a standard but interest-peaking POV scene from the killer, chopping up a couple of horny teenagers at the aformentioned water park, before we get a title card. And then (the unfortunate part) we get a whole hour of goofy teen drama - remember the tsunami of sex comedies that released in the wake of American Pie? Imagine one of the shittier ones, but with no funny bits, and that's the kind of stuff we're getting here.
The script is occasionally humourous, but mostly flat and the acting from everyone involved is a little wonky (except the token jaded old dude, that guy is great)
It's not the most boring thing I've ever sat through, but it's damn close, as countless red herrings are thrown at the audience. The eventual killer reveal by the way, manages to be predictable, and somehow make no sense whatsoever. It's weird.
Thank the lord then for the last 15 minutes, that is just ridiculous and gory enough to make it all worth the slog. When everything eventually kicks off, it's actually pretty entertaining. The gore is all practically done, looks half decent, and the execution is pretty fresh. It's just a shame that the set up is such a drag - If there was more of this then Aquaslash would be miles better.
Honestly, it might be worth just fast forwarding to the good bit with this one, but if you do insist on watching the whole thing, it's not the absolute worst thing ever, and it mercifully clocks in at 75 minutes, which makes the whole ordeal that little more bearable.
Well, unfortunately that's not all of it...
The film opens with a standard but interest-peaking POV scene from the killer, chopping up a couple of horny teenagers at the aformentioned water park, before we get a title card. And then (the unfortunate part) we get a whole hour of goofy teen drama - remember the tsunami of sex comedies that released in the wake of American Pie? Imagine one of the shittier ones, but with no funny bits, and that's the kind of stuff we're getting here.
The script is occasionally humourous, but mostly flat and the acting from everyone involved is a little wonky (except the token jaded old dude, that guy is great)
It's not the most boring thing I've ever sat through, but it's damn close, as countless red herrings are thrown at the audience. The eventual killer reveal by the way, manages to be predictable, and somehow make no sense whatsoever. It's weird.
Thank the lord then for the last 15 minutes, that is just ridiculous and gory enough to make it all worth the slog. When everything eventually kicks off, it's actually pretty entertaining. The gore is all practically done, looks half decent, and the execution is pretty fresh. It's just a shame that the set up is such a drag - If there was more of this then Aquaslash would be miles better.
Honestly, it might be worth just fast forwarding to the good bit with this one, but if you do insist on watching the whole thing, it's not the absolute worst thing ever, and it mercifully clocks in at 75 minutes, which makes the whole ordeal that little more bearable.
Merissa (11731 KP) created a post
Dec 20, 2021
Ryan Hill (152 KP) rated Aquaman (2018) in Movies
Jun 8, 2019
"war is coming to the surface"
Aquaman is absolutely a disciple of the superhero formula we've seen used, reused and recycled over the past couple decades...but its formula done right. There's an inherent lunacy to a hero like Aquaman; his myth is built upon a lost Atlantean culture that's simultaneously advanced technologically and heavily influenced by ancient Greek mythology, and his powers included near-Superman levels of strength and invulnerability existing alongside an ability to communicate with marine life. This makes approaching his story from a gritty, realistic perspective damn near impossible.
Instead Wan and the writers behind Aquaman intelligently focus on world-building and following the tried-and-true "heroic journey"; complete with initial rejection of a prophesied role, slow but steady immersion into said role's culture, recognition of the need for growth and change, and eventual assumption of role. It's been seen before and it'll be seen again. But what propels Aquaman ahead of other films like it is the energy that Wan imbues it with. It's goofy without undermining the sincerity of Arthur's journey. It's fast-paced and simple-minded without sacrificing the weight and universality of this particular hero's myth. It's loud and colorful and *full* of CGI everything without reducing itself to an over-commercialized, artless heap of nothingness.
It's a big-ass blockbuster with personality. Momoa has charisma to spare; he owns the physicality and irreverence of this new imagining of the king of the ocean perfectly. Amber Heard is sexy and badass as Mera; something of a victim of a forced romance but also a compelling and strong protagonist in her own right. Patrick Wilson as Oceanmaster (call me....Oceanmaster) is given enough screen-time to develop that he's more than a punching bag for Aquaman; but actually a character with ambitions and a defined, fleshed-out purpose. The origin segment is tightly done and more than enough to set the stage for what is to come. And probably the strongest aspect of this picture, the costuming and world-building, is off the charts. Similar to the enduring fantasy films that precede this (LOTR, Star Wars, Avatar for a few examples) the undersea kingdoms are a place I want to return to. They aren't just my world dressed up with CGI and the occasional costuming flourish; they're entirely foreign and endlessly inventive. Probably a solid third of the film is simply Aquaman, and the audience, being told about this world and shown it by Mera. While that may not be artistically prestigious strategy for engaging audiences, it entertains and fascinates on a "turn off your brain and look at those pretty colors" sort of way. There's a simple glee in seeing sharks ridden like horses or an octopus pounding a war-time set of drums.
I always offer the disclaimer when writing about nerdy films that I love which is this: I am a nerd. While I wasn't particularly attached to Aquaman growing up; his journey, the nature of this sort of film and the cinematic universe he will be growing into are fundamentally important to me, and I like to embrace that bias rather than keep it in check with reduced ratings or "objective" analysis. Whether it be a giant, confusing and chaotic battle between underwater armies or the horrifying descent into "the trench"; you'll always find me looking up at the screen like a little kid. Or moments like Arthur meeting Mera and confronting is past, or taking upon the role of king while wielding the trident; I just love that sort of stuff. I'm a sucker for these beats and this formula; and all signs point to this continuing. So while I may like it more than most; I'd mostly like to say Aquaman still distinguishes itself as a particularly goofy, sprawling, mythic, and metal experience that deserved to be seen on the big-screen, and to be celebrated as the fantasy film it is. It's a great time, and a nice addition to the DC film franchise.
Instead Wan and the writers behind Aquaman intelligently focus on world-building and following the tried-and-true "heroic journey"; complete with initial rejection of a prophesied role, slow but steady immersion into said role's culture, recognition of the need for growth and change, and eventual assumption of role. It's been seen before and it'll be seen again. But what propels Aquaman ahead of other films like it is the energy that Wan imbues it with. It's goofy without undermining the sincerity of Arthur's journey. It's fast-paced and simple-minded without sacrificing the weight and universality of this particular hero's myth. It's loud and colorful and *full* of CGI everything without reducing itself to an over-commercialized, artless heap of nothingness.
It's a big-ass blockbuster with personality. Momoa has charisma to spare; he owns the physicality and irreverence of this new imagining of the king of the ocean perfectly. Amber Heard is sexy and badass as Mera; something of a victim of a forced romance but also a compelling and strong protagonist in her own right. Patrick Wilson as Oceanmaster (call me....Oceanmaster) is given enough screen-time to develop that he's more than a punching bag for Aquaman; but actually a character with ambitions and a defined, fleshed-out purpose. The origin segment is tightly done and more than enough to set the stage for what is to come. And probably the strongest aspect of this picture, the costuming and world-building, is off the charts. Similar to the enduring fantasy films that precede this (LOTR, Star Wars, Avatar for a few examples) the undersea kingdoms are a place I want to return to. They aren't just my world dressed up with CGI and the occasional costuming flourish; they're entirely foreign and endlessly inventive. Probably a solid third of the film is simply Aquaman, and the audience, being told about this world and shown it by Mera. While that may not be artistically prestigious strategy for engaging audiences, it entertains and fascinates on a "turn off your brain and look at those pretty colors" sort of way. There's a simple glee in seeing sharks ridden like horses or an octopus pounding a war-time set of drums.
I always offer the disclaimer when writing about nerdy films that I love which is this: I am a nerd. While I wasn't particularly attached to Aquaman growing up; his journey, the nature of this sort of film and the cinematic universe he will be growing into are fundamentally important to me, and I like to embrace that bias rather than keep it in check with reduced ratings or "objective" analysis. Whether it be a giant, confusing and chaotic battle between underwater armies or the horrifying descent into "the trench"; you'll always find me looking up at the screen like a little kid. Or moments like Arthur meeting Mera and confronting is past, or taking upon the role of king while wielding the trident; I just love that sort of stuff. I'm a sucker for these beats and this formula; and all signs point to this continuing. So while I may like it more than most; I'd mostly like to say Aquaman still distinguishes itself as a particularly goofy, sprawling, mythic, and metal experience that deserved to be seen on the big-screen, and to be celebrated as the fantasy film it is. It's a great time, and a nice addition to the DC film franchise.
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Kelly Knows (95 KP) rated Big Top Pee-wee (1988) in Movies
Jun 30, 2019
The People VS Pee-wee
Big Top Pee-wee is that rare movie that some will find irresistible and charming, while others will see it as utterly irritating. I revel in the glory that is the truth. It is both. Pee-wee started from the bottom of the playhouse, had a big adventure and wound up facing the real world in this movie. Pee-wee's world has always been goofy, surreal, and over the top. That is the draw of it, in my humble opinion. Unfortunately, this doesn't translate well when you slap our bow-tie bedecked hero in the midst of regular folk. Even the cast seems to be in a perpetual state of almost breaking character either due to intentional awkwardness in the writing, or some mix of inability to handle Pee-wee outside of his playhouse. I lean toward the latter. Looking back on the memory of this movie with a warm nostalgic lens, I was a bit taken aback on more recent viewing. Paul Reubens is in fine form as always, and all the jokes landed with a familiarity that had me cracking up at the same time I was wincing. It is a very humorous movie if you watch it with the kids, and turn your brain off. Even watching it on a "so bad it's good" mindset can be a good decision here. Nothing too crazy for the parents to watch out for. There is a love triangle storyline that felt like a betrayal of the innocence of the original themes but this movie does feel like an attempt to have Pee-wee grow up a bit, so agree to disagree on that one. The historical fact is that Pee-wee will always be an outstanding character brought to life by a talented actor. Big Top Pee-wee might not be one of the finest movies ever made, but if you have it locked in your memory banks under a soft sepia tone light. Keep it there.
Neon's Nerd Nexus (360 KP) rated Ready or Not (2019) in Movies
Sep 2, 2019 (Updated Sep 2, 2019)
F*cking rich people
Ready Or Not is a delightful mash up of blood soaked horror and devilish comedy that intertwines well making this film an absolute blast. When Ready or not's certificate came up everyone was shocked it was 18 rated (I found kind of sad as to me it symbolised how there is 100% still a big market for the more violent and mature horror film yet these days they sadly seem few and far between. I proud to say this does not disappoint and delivers on gore, grossness and tons of unnecessary yet hilariously fitting cursing. Made by people with clear love for the genre this movie echoes what made 80s horror movies so fun. Its goofy, silly, humorous, cool, violent, over the top, cheesy and stylish with it all working well together as well as being extremely serious and tense when it needs to be too. A great mix of movies like your next, the purge, cabin in the woods and even evil dead this movie doesnt hesitate getting straight to the good stuff moving at a constant brisk pace. Although predictable at times it ride with the horror cliches mixing them up just enough for them to feel modern and refreshingly satisfying. Anti rich themes take front and centre and the film isnt shy of mocking wealthy people constantly questioning their morals, beliefs, way of life, ignorance, naivety, lack of empathy and ability to think they can do as they please. In fact you might say the most horrific parts of the film are just how stupid, desensitized, gullible, careless and void of empathy these people have become which adds a nice real world connection. Theres also some visually impressive/creative scenes that really stand out as they are flawlessly combine with music too. Great tension is also present here and a it has a good eending that keeps you on your toes guessing. Not perfect by any means but go into it with a mind set that you can just sit back and enjoy a well made film that's only interested in you having a good time and you will leave entertained.
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