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LeftSideCut (3776 KP) rated Satanic Panic (2019) in Movies
Sep 20, 2020
Satanic Panic is a horror-comedy that depicts the world's rich elite as Satan worshiping cultists who would love nothing more than to bring about the end of days. Relatable then!
The "eat the rich" concept is a tried and tested method of giving a movie some hateful antagonists, and Satanic Panic does it well, as a working class pizza delivery girl stumbles upon said cult, and quickly finds herself fighting for her life as the cultists seek to use her virginity as a method to bring about Baphomet and blah blah blah, you've surely heard this one before.
My main gripe with this movie is precisely that - it offers nothing new to the table. That, and the fact that it's low budget prevents us from seeing any demonic creatures, which is a shame.
Honestly though, apart from these negatives, Satanic Panic is actually a lot of fun. It's got a good sense of humour, a likeable heroine in Hayley Griffith, some pretty nasty practical gore effects here and there, and a somewhat cheap but charming aesthetic.
The cast also includes Rebecca Romijn, Jerry O' Connell, and a few horror mainstays such as Jordan Ladd, Ruby Modine and Jeff Daniel Phillips.
You could do a lot worse, and Satanic Panic does just about enough to scramble above the depths of horror shittiness.
The "eat the rich" concept is a tried and tested method of giving a movie some hateful antagonists, and Satanic Panic does it well, as a working class pizza delivery girl stumbles upon said cult, and quickly finds herself fighting for her life as the cultists seek to use her virginity as a method to bring about Baphomet and blah blah blah, you've surely heard this one before.
My main gripe with this movie is precisely that - it offers nothing new to the table. That, and the fact that it's low budget prevents us from seeing any demonic creatures, which is a shame.
Honestly though, apart from these negatives, Satanic Panic is actually a lot of fun. It's got a good sense of humour, a likeable heroine in Hayley Griffith, some pretty nasty practical gore effects here and there, and a somewhat cheap but charming aesthetic.
The cast also includes Rebecca Romijn, Jerry O' Connell, and a few horror mainstays such as Jordan Ladd, Ruby Modine and Jeff Daniel Phillips.
You could do a lot worse, and Satanic Panic does just about enough to scramble above the depths of horror shittiness.
LoganCrews (2861 KP) rated K-12 (2019) in Movies
Sep 20, 2020
At a mesmerizing crossroads between ๐ ๐๐ถ๐ณ๐ฆ ๐๐ฐ๐ณ ๐๐ฆ๐ญ๐ญ๐ฏ๐ฆ๐ด๐ด and ๐๐ฆ๐ฎ๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ข๐ฅ๐ฆ, didn't know what the fuck I was watching half the time and I think that's precisely why I loved it. Blurs the line between sick and sweet exactly the way it wants to. Point of note that I've never been a huge Melanie Martinez fan, so this is my first 'real' experience with her. I think her passion (she co-wrote, directed, starred in, and costumed the thing) clearly shows in this endearingly clunky phantasmagoria of absurdist gore, demon cringe, political hostility, and demented babycore. The type of product where there's people throwing bowls of cockroaches at others, vomiting up orange liquid, then tearing out their eyeballs and swapping them between blunt critiques on American exceptionalism and musical numbers about body image and identity reclamation. The photography, sets, and costumes/wigs/makeup is seriously next level and it helps that the acting - shockingly - doesn't suck. The back half of the album has some clinical bops. For sure the one of these album-long music videos that feels closest to an actual movie, if this were any other artist you all would have adored it ๐ค
Strawberry Shortcake > Class Fight > Lunchbox Friends > Fire Drill (should have been on the album) > Teacher's Pet > Detention > Orange Juice > Wheels on the Bus > Recess > The Principal > High School Sweethearts > Drama Club > Show & Tell > Nurse's Office.
Strawberry Shortcake > Class Fight > Lunchbox Friends > Fire Drill (should have been on the album) > Teacher's Pet > Detention > Orange Juice > Wheels on the Bus > Recess > The Principal > High School Sweethearts > Drama Club > Show & Tell > Nurse's Office.
LeftSideCut (3776 KP) rated Porno (2019) in Movies
Nov 27, 2020
Porno is unfortunately a swing and a miss. It has a great cast, but they're trapped in a by the numbers horror comedy that never commits hard enough to either genre to be convincing as either.
Set in the early 90s, Porno revolves around a group of Christian movie theatre workers who unwittingly stumble into a seperate, sealed off abandoned movie theatre underneath they one they work in. They find a mysterious movie reel in the depths and watch it, unleashing a Succubus intent on doing a bunch of evil things. I think. The motive isn't made particularly clear.
It's horror element doesn't work as it's too shy to show the gore one would expect from a film like this, but it still takes things too seriously to fully bring the laughs.
It's still humourous though. The cast are all likable, and the script manages to be funny on occasion, in what is essentially a silly semi-horror. Much like it's flirtation with genres, it also touches on some more serious issues, such as homosexuality and it's acceptance by religion, but once again, never quite goes all the way if you will.
Porno isn't awful by any means, but it feels like a wasted opportunity, a fun idea that isn't quite executed well enough to be a film worth returning to.
Set in the early 90s, Porno revolves around a group of Christian movie theatre workers who unwittingly stumble into a seperate, sealed off abandoned movie theatre underneath they one they work in. They find a mysterious movie reel in the depths and watch it, unleashing a Succubus intent on doing a bunch of evil things. I think. The motive isn't made particularly clear.
It's horror element doesn't work as it's too shy to show the gore one would expect from a film like this, but it still takes things too seriously to fully bring the laughs.
It's still humourous though. The cast are all likable, and the script manages to be funny on occasion, in what is essentially a silly semi-horror. Much like it's flirtation with genres, it also touches on some more serious issues, such as homosexuality and it's acceptance by religion, but once again, never quite goes all the way if you will.
Porno isn't awful by any means, but it feels like a wasted opportunity, a fun idea that isn't quite executed well enough to be a film worth returning to.
LeftSideCut (3776 KP) rated Saw II (2005) in Movies
Oct 3, 2020
Out of the slew of sequels that followed in the wake of the success of the first film, Saw II is easily the most watchable.
Everything is upped - more blood, more victims, more absurd traps for them to escape from - but it succeeds where the other sequels miserably failed, keeping it all fairly reigned in for the most part, assuring that the plot carries a substantial amount of intrigue, instead of getting buried under gratuitous torture.
We get to see more Tobin Bell this time around, which is certainly a good thing. His increased presence as antagonist Jigsaw is a high point of the movie. Donnie Wahlberg and Shawnee Smith have a little more to do in the franchise going forward, but the rest of the cast are hugely dull and forgettable, obvious cannon fodder for Jigsaws' games.
The various traps are imaginative without going overboard as well, and are effective - the pit of syringes, the pig carcasses, and especially the lockbox with wrist slicing blades, are all pretty memorable without throwing heaps of gore at the viewer.
Saw II is a half decent follow up to the great original. You could happily watch the first two and not bother with any of the others, and still be suitably satisfied, unless, like me, you're a glutton for punishment.
Everything is upped - more blood, more victims, more absurd traps for them to escape from - but it succeeds where the other sequels miserably failed, keeping it all fairly reigned in for the most part, assuring that the plot carries a substantial amount of intrigue, instead of getting buried under gratuitous torture.
We get to see more Tobin Bell this time around, which is certainly a good thing. His increased presence as antagonist Jigsaw is a high point of the movie. Donnie Wahlberg and Shawnee Smith have a little more to do in the franchise going forward, but the rest of the cast are hugely dull and forgettable, obvious cannon fodder for Jigsaws' games.
The various traps are imaginative without going overboard as well, and are effective - the pit of syringes, the pig carcasses, and especially the lockbox with wrist slicing blades, are all pretty memorable without throwing heaps of gore at the viewer.
Saw II is a half decent follow up to the great original. You could happily watch the first two and not bother with any of the others, and still be suitably satisfied, unless, like me, you're a glutton for punishment.
LoganCrews (2861 KP) rated House of 1000 Corpses (2003) in Movies
Oct 9, 2020
Has there ever been another movie that more profoundly screams "Halloween" than this one? If there is, I have yet to see it. A front-to-back phantasmagoria of blood, ick, and some of the all-time greatest horror movie imagery you'll ever see: what can only be described as a carnival of pure filth sprawled out in the form of a feature length Rob Zombie music video - the increasing amounts of bonkers gore, the unforgettable and outright euphoric production design, the horror-ready cast all grotesquely dolled up, the sheer headstrong devotion to being as revolting as can be all interspliced with film-grained smut footage, diagnostic seething Zombie tunes, and 50s/60s primetime television spookiness. Every frame just oozes old school shock and terror, a clear love letter to the sweaty stuck pig that was the 70s horror film meets a neon-soaked greasy stage provocation. Plus it's funny as hell, too. It's so eager to bash its brains up against the wall to please, the copious amounts of passion and work that went into this is always apparent on the screen - quite possibly the most self-assured and satisfying debut since the previous year's ๐๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐๐ช๐น๐ต๐ฉ ๐๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ด๐ฆ. A tremendous time inside and out that could only be possible by a seasoned visual + audible horror maestro and forever one of my go-to movies for the October season.
LeftSideCut (3776 KP) rated Piranha 3D (2010) in Movies
Oct 2, 2019
Kind of great, definitely awful
Looking for a silly, average, stupidly gory horror film? You could do a lot worse than Piranha 3D.
This movie is never going to be considered a horror great, not even close. It's cheesy, it's brimming with awful acting (except Elisabeth Shue, we love Elisabeth Shue), and it's completely brain dead, and in spite of all of this, Piranha 3D knows exactly what it is, and just waves it in our stupid entertained faces - it's a lot of fun.
The build up to the ridiculous finale is filled with a lot of one dimensional characters that are hard to care about, but has enough sudden gore (with some pretty nice practical effects for the record) to keep you interested.
They even throw in Christopher Lloyd just being a perfect bat-shit crazy version of himself, because why the hell not.
For the most part, it's all very standard and pretty average. But that aforementioned finale....Christ.
The final 20 minutes is gratuitous and then some.
The audience is just assaulted by outrageous violence, enough to keep you firmly grasping just how silly this film is...it's kind of glorious, and the whole thing deserves it's place in the infamous so-bad-its-great hall of horror fame.
It's dumb, but it's entertaining. A must for anyone who fancies a braindead popcorn horror now and again.
This movie is never going to be considered a horror great, not even close. It's cheesy, it's brimming with awful acting (except Elisabeth Shue, we love Elisabeth Shue), and it's completely brain dead, and in spite of all of this, Piranha 3D knows exactly what it is, and just waves it in our stupid entertained faces - it's a lot of fun.
The build up to the ridiculous finale is filled with a lot of one dimensional characters that are hard to care about, but has enough sudden gore (with some pretty nice practical effects for the record) to keep you interested.
They even throw in Christopher Lloyd just being a perfect bat-shit crazy version of himself, because why the hell not.
For the most part, it's all very standard and pretty average. But that aforementioned finale....Christ.
The final 20 minutes is gratuitous and then some.
The audience is just assaulted by outrageous violence, enough to keep you firmly grasping just how silly this film is...it's kind of glorious, and the whole thing deserves it's place in the infamous so-bad-its-great hall of horror fame.
It's dumb, but it's entertaining. A must for anyone who fancies a braindead popcorn horror now and again.
LeftSideCut (3776 KP) rated Harley Quinn - Season 1 in TV
Jul 31, 2020 (Updated Jul 31, 2020)
In short, Harley Quinn is probably my new favourite show... Seriously.
I really wasn't too bothered when it was originally announced but I'm really glad I got round to it eventually.
To start with, it's fucking hilarious. The dialogue and humour arrives in waves, never lets up, and is pretty much constantly funny and pretty clever. Cast your mind back to when Family Guy was actually good (it's been a while my friends) and you're sort of in the right ball park. Every character offers something in this respect.
The main characters - Harley Quinn, Poison Ivy, King Shark, Clayface, Dr Psycho - are really well written, and are a great group of anti-heroes to get behind.
The show also fits in appearances from other DC veterans - Joker, Batman, Aquaman, Wonder Woman, Superman, Bane, Queen of Fables, Black Manta, The Flash, Lex Luthor, Scarecrow, Giganta, The Riddler, Kite Man, Robin - are just a few that get a look in. It's great for DC fans, and funny enough to appeal to wider audiences.
It's very adult orientated as well - whilst looking like a typical kids superhero show, the illusion will suddenly be shattered by a tirade of swearing, or over the top gore, it's truly not messing around, and it works really well!
Harley Quinn was a massive pleasant surprise for me. Can't wait to watch more!
I really wasn't too bothered when it was originally announced but I'm really glad I got round to it eventually.
To start with, it's fucking hilarious. The dialogue and humour arrives in waves, never lets up, and is pretty much constantly funny and pretty clever. Cast your mind back to when Family Guy was actually good (it's been a while my friends) and you're sort of in the right ball park. Every character offers something in this respect.
The main characters - Harley Quinn, Poison Ivy, King Shark, Clayface, Dr Psycho - are really well written, and are a great group of anti-heroes to get behind.
The show also fits in appearances from other DC veterans - Joker, Batman, Aquaman, Wonder Woman, Superman, Bane, Queen of Fables, Black Manta, The Flash, Lex Luthor, Scarecrow, Giganta, The Riddler, Kite Man, Robin - are just a few that get a look in. It's great for DC fans, and funny enough to appeal to wider audiences.
It's very adult orientated as well - whilst looking like a typical kids superhero show, the illusion will suddenly be shattered by a tirade of swearing, or over the top gore, it's truly not messing around, and it works really well!
Harley Quinn was a massive pleasant surprise for me. Can't wait to watch more!
Jesters_folly (230 KP) rated Saw (2004) in Movies
Jun 13, 2020
Contains spoilers, click to show
Doctor Lawrence Gordon and Adam Faulkner-Stanheight both wake up chained to opposite sides of a dingy room with only a handful of clues the two men must find their way out and save the doctors family.
Most of the film focus not on the two trapped menโs escape attempt but on the past couple of days and on the โJigsawโ killers previous traps which show the events that led to, not only Adam & Lawrenceโs imprisonment but also to how Jigsaw is tracked down by the now disgraced Detective Trapp.
The previous trap rooms all seem a lot simpler than the one set up for Adam and Lawrence and this does seem to be the first one that involves people outside the room.
Saw contains a lot of threat, a bit of gore and bodies that died violent deaths but the graphic scenes are no worst than films like โSevenโ and, like Seven, Saw doesnโt focus that much on the actual killer but on his actions and the effects they are having on his victims and it only hints at how long Jigsaw has been active for. The one thing I will say about the violence is that it does show consequences, the doctor is shown to suffer after cutting off his foot and, most of the time, shooting and stabbing does lead to injuries.
Most of the film focus not on the two trapped menโs escape attempt but on the past couple of days and on the โJigsawโ killers previous traps which show the events that led to, not only Adam & Lawrenceโs imprisonment but also to how Jigsaw is tracked down by the now disgraced Detective Trapp.
The previous trap rooms all seem a lot simpler than the one set up for Adam and Lawrence and this does seem to be the first one that involves people outside the room.
Saw contains a lot of threat, a bit of gore and bodies that died violent deaths but the graphic scenes are no worst than films like โSevenโ and, like Seven, Saw doesnโt focus that much on the actual killer but on his actions and the effects they are having on his victims and it only hints at how long Jigsaw has been active for. The one thing I will say about the violence is that it does show consequences, the doctor is shown to suffer after cutting off his foot and, most of the time, shooting and stabbing does lead to injuries.
Sarah (7800 KP) rated Crawl (2019) in Movies
May 30, 2020
Laughably bad
This isnt the type of film I'd usually be interested in, but when you're stuck at home & this is the latest Sky premiere, it seems rude not to watch it.
To be fair, this film made me laugh so it was fairly entertaining. However I'm pretty sure this wasn't intentional. It made me laugh at how cheesy and bad and cliched it was. The script is terrible, and the majority of scenes are predictable and cliched. Like the swimming and motivational speeches in a lull between gator attacks, and the characters seemingly strange and inexplicable actions and doing completely the wrong thing (like shouting for helping metres away in a category 5 hurricane). This really made me giggle, but also made me want to bang my head against the wall it was so cringeworthy.
The effects too are pretty terrible. They dont look too bad in the darker more cramped basement scenes, but everything else looks pretty second rate. There's a decent amount of gore but even this gets ridiculous when you start to consider the amount of injuries these characters are obtaining without dying.
To be quite honest, this isnt the worst creature horror I've ever seen but it is definitely not the best. I'd suggest Lake Placid might be a better option.
To be fair, this film made me laugh so it was fairly entertaining. However I'm pretty sure this wasn't intentional. It made me laugh at how cheesy and bad and cliched it was. The script is terrible, and the majority of scenes are predictable and cliched. Like the swimming and motivational speeches in a lull between gator attacks, and the characters seemingly strange and inexplicable actions and doing completely the wrong thing (like shouting for helping metres away in a category 5 hurricane). This really made me giggle, but also made me want to bang my head against the wall it was so cringeworthy.
The effects too are pretty terrible. They dont look too bad in the darker more cramped basement scenes, but everything else looks pretty second rate. There's a decent amount of gore but even this gets ridiculous when you start to consider the amount of injuries these characters are obtaining without dying.
To be quite honest, this isnt the worst creature horror I've ever seen but it is definitely not the best. I'd suggest Lake Placid might be a better option.
