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Purple Phoenix Games (2266 KP) rated Fantasy Ranch in Tabletop Games
Jun 12, 2019 (Updated Jun 12, 2019)
Little known fact: my family used to be involved with local harness racing and horse training. Not much actually rubbed off on me, personally, but I do remember going to the stables to visit with the horses, and I was even allowed to ride the stable goat since I wasn’t yet big enough to get on the horses. Ahh, memories. So when I heard that a game existed with a horse ranching theme, I just HAD to get it to the table. Is it a good game though? Let’s find out! (spoilers: IT’S EXCELLENT!)
DISCLAIMER: The game comes with three modes of difficulty AND an included children’s game that also can be played on three modes of difficulty. For this review we are concentrating only on adult mode two. We felt mode one was too introductory, but we did not want to go all in right away on mode three. -T
As with most board games, you are trying to amass trophies (VP) and the winner at the end of five rounds is the rancher with the most trophies. On your turn you can take one Limited (standard) Action and as many Free Actions as you would like. Limited Actions include: buy a horse, buy a location on your ranch board, or farm your ranch for goods. Free Actions include: sell a horse, move horses to/from your home area to/from a different area on your ranch board, or trade goods at a 2:1 ratio. Once every player has taken their turn, you enter a show using the horses you have collected.
Buying a horse requires different amounts of food (in carrots) that you gain from different actions (farming your ranch, selling a horse). Luckily, spending food is a one-time action and you don’t have to feed your horses every turn. A great improvement over other “feed your villagers” games, in my opinion – yeah, I said it. Buying a location on your ranch board/playmat requires “tack,” which is symbolized by boot tokens (as seen below). You can always get more food and tack by farming your ranch, and you receive six goods of any combination, but that’s a Limited Action and prevents you from doing the other actions.
Selling a horse is easy, yet the separation anxiety is real, as you simply discard the horse for the amount of food it costs to purchase. Moving horses is easy too – your Home area of your ranch/playmat can only hold so many horses, so you will need to move horses of certain types to unlocked (purchased) matching areas on your ranch. This is important, as you cannot keep buying red horses or you will certainly run out of room for them, even if you unlock the red area on your ranch board. Plus unlocking sections of your ranch provides you with trophies at game end. The last free action is trading goods, which you do at a 2:1 ratio. So trade in two food for a tack or vice versa.
At shows you use horses for their specific specialty skills plus a die roll. Each horse has specialty in one area, and some skill in other areas. The number associated with a skill icon indicates the starting skill “strength” that you will add to your die roll. You roll all three dice of your color, take the highest result from the roll, and add the skill strength of the horse skill. That’s your score for the show. The highest number is awarded 1st place and the rewards printed, and so on and so forth for the other placing horses. This could result in more food or tack, or even your choice of horses for free from the sales barn.
On the very last turn of the game you will compete in three shows (instead of the normal two shows at the end of each turn) and can only use World Class horses, or buy your way into the show with food. The show process is the same, but it is the final push to earn as many trophies as possible before game end. And that’s it!
Components: This game is FULL of components. It’s a pretty stocked and heavy box, but still only the size of a Ticket to Ride box. The playmats, game boards, and cardboard chits are all of really great quality. The cards are great quality as well with photos of real existing horses (as well as the photos of real existing ranches on the giant ranch cards that are essentially beautiful player reference cards and resource holders). The best components of the game are the super cute little horeeples (oh no, that can’t possibly be correct). Horse-meeples. They come in different colors to match the areas on your ranch that you need to unlock and move them into so you don’t overcrowd your Home area. Even though my copy came with a green horse who lost his front legs, we know that he competes hard and lives his best life. The art is really really great and, though busy on the board at times, the game looks really good on the table. No qualms with the components on this one at all.
Here’s what I really like about this one. It’s a euro through and through, but it’s a euro that is actually exciting, with a unique theme, and one that I genuinely cannot wait to play again. I want to try mode three as soon as I can, and I really want to introduce my son to the game as soon as he is able to handle it. I am finding it really really hard to think of a game that comes ready to play three ways for adults, has components included to play the game three ways with children, and is actually super fun. I can’t think of any. This game is truly in a class by itself.
I love that no matter how tactical you play or how strategic you want to make it, sometimes the dice love/hate you and it could make all the difference. As you can see in the scores, we all love it (with the exception of my cousin Tony who rated it a three because of the dice – WHICH is odd because it is his father that was the harness racing jockey of the family). This review would have been live a week ago, but immediately after playing last weekend Josh said he would like to bring it home to play with his family. His wife is from Kentucky, and they kinda like horses and horse racing there. Well, his wife and son also rated this game out of 6. His wife gave Fantasy Ranch a 15 and his son rated it a 16. As that completely throws off my rating scale I did not add them, but as you can see we at Purple Phoenix Games give this one a very boot-kickin’ 19 / 24. If only we hadn’t invited Tony over to destroy the scores… We highly recommend you check this winner out. Seriously, it’s great.
https://purplephoenixgames.wordpress.com/2019/06/04/fantasy-ranch-review/
DISCLAIMER: The game comes with three modes of difficulty AND an included children’s game that also can be played on three modes of difficulty. For this review we are concentrating only on adult mode two. We felt mode one was too introductory, but we did not want to go all in right away on mode three. -T
As with most board games, you are trying to amass trophies (VP) and the winner at the end of five rounds is the rancher with the most trophies. On your turn you can take one Limited (standard) Action and as many Free Actions as you would like. Limited Actions include: buy a horse, buy a location on your ranch board, or farm your ranch for goods. Free Actions include: sell a horse, move horses to/from your home area to/from a different area on your ranch board, or trade goods at a 2:1 ratio. Once every player has taken their turn, you enter a show using the horses you have collected.
Buying a horse requires different amounts of food (in carrots) that you gain from different actions (farming your ranch, selling a horse). Luckily, spending food is a one-time action and you don’t have to feed your horses every turn. A great improvement over other “feed your villagers” games, in my opinion – yeah, I said it. Buying a location on your ranch board/playmat requires “tack,” which is symbolized by boot tokens (as seen below). You can always get more food and tack by farming your ranch, and you receive six goods of any combination, but that’s a Limited Action and prevents you from doing the other actions.
Selling a horse is easy, yet the separation anxiety is real, as you simply discard the horse for the amount of food it costs to purchase. Moving horses is easy too – your Home area of your ranch/playmat can only hold so many horses, so you will need to move horses of certain types to unlocked (purchased) matching areas on your ranch. This is important, as you cannot keep buying red horses or you will certainly run out of room for them, even if you unlock the red area on your ranch board. Plus unlocking sections of your ranch provides you with trophies at game end. The last free action is trading goods, which you do at a 2:1 ratio. So trade in two food for a tack or vice versa.
At shows you use horses for their specific specialty skills plus a die roll. Each horse has specialty in one area, and some skill in other areas. The number associated with a skill icon indicates the starting skill “strength” that you will add to your die roll. You roll all three dice of your color, take the highest result from the roll, and add the skill strength of the horse skill. That’s your score for the show. The highest number is awarded 1st place and the rewards printed, and so on and so forth for the other placing horses. This could result in more food or tack, or even your choice of horses for free from the sales barn.
On the very last turn of the game you will compete in three shows (instead of the normal two shows at the end of each turn) and can only use World Class horses, or buy your way into the show with food. The show process is the same, but it is the final push to earn as many trophies as possible before game end. And that’s it!
Components: This game is FULL of components. It’s a pretty stocked and heavy box, but still only the size of a Ticket to Ride box. The playmats, game boards, and cardboard chits are all of really great quality. The cards are great quality as well with photos of real existing horses (as well as the photos of real existing ranches on the giant ranch cards that are essentially beautiful player reference cards and resource holders). The best components of the game are the super cute little horeeples (oh no, that can’t possibly be correct). Horse-meeples. They come in different colors to match the areas on your ranch that you need to unlock and move them into so you don’t overcrowd your Home area. Even though my copy came with a green horse who lost his front legs, we know that he competes hard and lives his best life. The art is really really great and, though busy on the board at times, the game looks really good on the table. No qualms with the components on this one at all.
Here’s what I really like about this one. It’s a euro through and through, but it’s a euro that is actually exciting, with a unique theme, and one that I genuinely cannot wait to play again. I want to try mode three as soon as I can, and I really want to introduce my son to the game as soon as he is able to handle it. I am finding it really really hard to think of a game that comes ready to play three ways for adults, has components included to play the game three ways with children, and is actually super fun. I can’t think of any. This game is truly in a class by itself.
I love that no matter how tactical you play or how strategic you want to make it, sometimes the dice love/hate you and it could make all the difference. As you can see in the scores, we all love it (with the exception of my cousin Tony who rated it a three because of the dice – WHICH is odd because it is his father that was the harness racing jockey of the family). This review would have been live a week ago, but immediately after playing last weekend Josh said he would like to bring it home to play with his family. His wife is from Kentucky, and they kinda like horses and horse racing there. Well, his wife and son also rated this game out of 6. His wife gave Fantasy Ranch a 15 and his son rated it a 16. As that completely throws off my rating scale I did not add them, but as you can see we at Purple Phoenix Games give this one a very boot-kickin’ 19 / 24. If only we hadn’t invited Tony over to destroy the scores… We highly recommend you check this winner out. Seriously, it’s great.
https://purplephoenixgames.wordpress.com/2019/06/04/fantasy-ranch-review/
Sophia (Bookwyrming Thoughts) (530 KP) rated Eon: Dragoneye Reborn (Eon, #1) in Books
Jan 23, 2020
Both books are extremely long, but Eon and Eona are one of the best dragon books I've read - out of the few I've read so far.
Eon does start out pretty slow. It takes awhile for something to happen, and there's a political struggle for a good chunk in the middle - a complete (and perhaps unnecessary at times) possibility as to why the book was extremely long in the first place.
Eona, as Eon at the time, was an extremely annoying character. It takes her AGES to connect all the dots and she's extremely desperate to fit in. It's almost as though she hates being a female, even though she gets points for being a sword-wielding, kick-butt, no-nonsense character.
Eona, on the other hand, is longer than Eon. After the events of Eon, the Empire of Celestial Dragons are in chaos, and Eona and her allies are on the run.
Eon has now stopped with her disguise, but I don't like her any better than I liked Eona puttering around like a boy. In Eon, Eona was just desperate to fit in and make herself seem worthy. In the sequel, Eona just argues FAR too much with Kygo.
Eona, however long, definitely makes up for the many dull moments in the first book. It's much more engrossing and action-packed, bringing a fantastic end to two very long books.
<b>Eon</b> - Full Review
Blog: <a href="http://bookwyrming-thoughts.blogspot.com/2014/12/review-eon-by-alison-goodman.html">http://bookwyrming-thoughts.blogspot.com/2014/12/review-eon-by-alison-goodman.html</a>;
Goodreads: <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/1038182170?book_show_action=false">https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/1038182170?book_show_action=false</a>;
<b>Eona</b> - Full Review
Blog: <a href="http://bookwyrming-thoughts.blogspot.com/2015/01/review-eona-by-alison-goodman.html">http://bookwyrming-thoughts.blogspot.com/2015/01/review-eona-by-alison-goodman.html</a>;
Goodreads: <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/1134057091?book_show_action=false">https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/1134057091?book_show_action=false</a>;
Merged review:
The entire idea behind Eon, according to the Alison Goodman's note at the very last page of the book, was inspired by the cultures and histories of China and Japan. Of course I would be completely excited because I'm Chinese myself and dragons are wonderfully majestic and mystic creatures. I had to read it!
I also had to read it because I would then have the opportunity to not only debate with the only guy in book club (who actually recommended the book to me in the first place... are you happy?), but I would also get to throw a book at said guy. Actually, it would be throwing the book first, run away, and then maybe debate about it. But one can't debate when one runs away.
In reality, I did get the chance to smack him with Eon. He then "abused" me with his scarf throughout Lit class. One day, I plan to steal that scarf and hide it.
I don't intend to ever give it back either.
Eon is a fabulous idea. And I mean, phenomenal. The best dragon book I've ever read despite the flaws and not so phenomenal things, even though the amount of dragon books I've read in the past is relatively small. Goodman has certainly done a fantastic job with the world building of the Empire of Celestial Dragons and the dragons itself – a brief history of the Dragoneyes and the Dragons are compressed at the very beginning of the book (it was a bit confusing to me) and the rest is filled in throughout the process of the book.
I have to say I'm impressed. Quite impressed compared to my latest reads (Okay, they're not shabby, but I wasn't overly excited about them either).
The beginning of the book lacked a bit of what would have made the book so much better. All Eon and the other Dragoneye candidates do is train, train, train. Eon is made fun of by everyone – including his Swordmaster! – because he's not like the others, etc. Basically, life is all about that misery for Eon and the book follows the same pattern over and over again: train, disdain, train, disdain, train, disdain.
Oh, and it doesn't help he's really a girl, though approximately 99.9% of the people don't know (they do know he's crippled). I'm pretty confused as to what gender to use in this particular review. That, however, does not mean I'm a sexist. All I can say to this entire ordeal is the mere fact that it seems Eon is trying too hard to hide her true self. Not a problem with me because of the time period Goodman sets Eon in. But with the amount of Sun drugs she takes later in the book – I think those so called Sun drugs are simply crack – in an attempt to connect with the Mirror Dragon, it's really obvious Eon is desperate enough to fit in and prove herself worthy of being a part of the Dragoneye council.
It's not until the anticipation of finding out who the new Rat Dragoneye apprentice will be does the book become interesting. The majority of the rest becomes more of a political struggle among the Dragoneye council and the Empire of Celestial Dragons as Eon continues her training as the one and only Mirror Dragoneye since the last 500 years, with the pressure of the Emperor's supporters resting on her shoulders.
Quite a burden to bear. Plus, the middle seemed to drag a bit (read: political struggle). It even got to the point where I actually thought Eon would be better off if the story had been split into two books and the series into a trilogy instead of duology.
It didn't help with Eon as a character either. She is, by far, one of the most annoying characters I've ever met. Here's a bit of a sidenote: There aren't many Asians as main characters. They're usually the peeps on the sidelines, and even that rarely happens. When they ARE main characters, they're usually a sword-wielding, kick-butt, no-nonsense type of character (or they seem to be annoyingly stereotyped and I hate it, so I don't even bother reading it in the first place). And while Goodman does incorporate all of that in Eon's character (the kick-butt, not the stereotype), it was still very annoying to see Eon puttering about and taking forever to connect the dots (read: desperate to fit in).
The ending gets better – much better – than the beginning and the middle (read: beginning = training + disdain, middle = political struggle + desperation). The fantastic ending probably made up for the hiccups earlier throughout and possibly changed my mind about wanting to split the book in half. Eon is a semi-phenomenal ending to a phenomenal idea in a not so phenomenal first book in a duology, and I've yet to decide whether I should give the sequel a whirl to see if it improves compared to Eon.
<blockquote>Friendship is not something that can be forced.</blockquote>
(Except for one of my friends. According to him, he forced his way into us being friends. *sigh*)
--------------------
Original Review posted at <a href="http://bookwyrming-thoughts.blogspot.com/2014/12/review-eon-by-alison-goodman.html">Bookwyrming Thoughts</a>
<a href="http://bookwyrming-thoughts.blogspot.com/"><img src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-cG5gfBqJVzk/VA5BIojjZ9I/AAAAAAAAD1g/7srLUfpAGEU/s1600/banner.png"; /></a>
Eon does start out pretty slow. It takes awhile for something to happen, and there's a political struggle for a good chunk in the middle - a complete (and perhaps unnecessary at times) possibility as to why the book was extremely long in the first place.
Eona, as Eon at the time, was an extremely annoying character. It takes her AGES to connect all the dots and she's extremely desperate to fit in. It's almost as though she hates being a female, even though she gets points for being a sword-wielding, kick-butt, no-nonsense character.
Eona, on the other hand, is longer than Eon. After the events of Eon, the Empire of Celestial Dragons are in chaos, and Eona and her allies are on the run.
Eon has now stopped with her disguise, but I don't like her any better than I liked Eona puttering around like a boy. In Eon, Eona was just desperate to fit in and make herself seem worthy. In the sequel, Eona just argues FAR too much with Kygo.
Eona, however long, definitely makes up for the many dull moments in the first book. It's much more engrossing and action-packed, bringing a fantastic end to two very long books.
<b>Eon</b> - Full Review
Blog: <a href="http://bookwyrming-thoughts.blogspot.com/2014/12/review-eon-by-alison-goodman.html">http://bookwyrming-thoughts.blogspot.com/2014/12/review-eon-by-alison-goodman.html</a>;
Goodreads: <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/1038182170?book_show_action=false">https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/1038182170?book_show_action=false</a>;
<b>Eona</b> - Full Review
Blog: <a href="http://bookwyrming-thoughts.blogspot.com/2015/01/review-eona-by-alison-goodman.html">http://bookwyrming-thoughts.blogspot.com/2015/01/review-eona-by-alison-goodman.html</a>;
Goodreads: <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/1134057091?book_show_action=false">https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/1134057091?book_show_action=false</a>;
Merged review:
The entire idea behind Eon, according to the Alison Goodman's note at the very last page of the book, was inspired by the cultures and histories of China and Japan. Of course I would be completely excited because I'm Chinese myself and dragons are wonderfully majestic and mystic creatures. I had to read it!
I also had to read it because I would then have the opportunity to not only debate with the only guy in book club (who actually recommended the book to me in the first place... are you happy?), but I would also get to throw a book at said guy. Actually, it would be throwing the book first, run away, and then maybe debate about it. But one can't debate when one runs away.
In reality, I did get the chance to smack him with Eon. He then "abused" me with his scarf throughout Lit class. One day, I plan to steal that scarf and hide it.
I don't intend to ever give it back either.
Eon is a fabulous idea. And I mean, phenomenal. The best dragon book I've ever read despite the flaws and not so phenomenal things, even though the amount of dragon books I've read in the past is relatively small. Goodman has certainly done a fantastic job with the world building of the Empire of Celestial Dragons and the dragons itself – a brief history of the Dragoneyes and the Dragons are compressed at the very beginning of the book (it was a bit confusing to me) and the rest is filled in throughout the process of the book.
I have to say I'm impressed. Quite impressed compared to my latest reads (Okay, they're not shabby, but I wasn't overly excited about them either).
The beginning of the book lacked a bit of what would have made the book so much better. All Eon and the other Dragoneye candidates do is train, train, train. Eon is made fun of by everyone – including his Swordmaster! – because he's not like the others, etc. Basically, life is all about that misery for Eon and the book follows the same pattern over and over again: train, disdain, train, disdain, train, disdain.
Oh, and it doesn't help he's really a girl, though approximately 99.9% of the people don't know (they do know he's crippled). I'm pretty confused as to what gender to use in this particular review. That, however, does not mean I'm a sexist. All I can say to this entire ordeal is the mere fact that it seems Eon is trying too hard to hide her true self. Not a problem with me because of the time period Goodman sets Eon in. But with the amount of Sun drugs she takes later in the book – I think those so called Sun drugs are simply crack – in an attempt to connect with the Mirror Dragon, it's really obvious Eon is desperate enough to fit in and prove herself worthy of being a part of the Dragoneye council.
It's not until the anticipation of finding out who the new Rat Dragoneye apprentice will be does the book become interesting. The majority of the rest becomes more of a political struggle among the Dragoneye council and the Empire of Celestial Dragons as Eon continues her training as the one and only Mirror Dragoneye since the last 500 years, with the pressure of the Emperor's supporters resting on her shoulders.
Quite a burden to bear. Plus, the middle seemed to drag a bit (read: political struggle). It even got to the point where I actually thought Eon would be better off if the story had been split into two books and the series into a trilogy instead of duology.
It didn't help with Eon as a character either. She is, by far, one of the most annoying characters I've ever met. Here's a bit of a sidenote: There aren't many Asians as main characters. They're usually the peeps on the sidelines, and even that rarely happens. When they ARE main characters, they're usually a sword-wielding, kick-butt, no-nonsense type of character (or they seem to be annoyingly stereotyped and I hate it, so I don't even bother reading it in the first place). And while Goodman does incorporate all of that in Eon's character (the kick-butt, not the stereotype), it was still very annoying to see Eon puttering about and taking forever to connect the dots (read: desperate to fit in).
The ending gets better – much better – than the beginning and the middle (read: beginning = training + disdain, middle = political struggle + desperation). The fantastic ending probably made up for the hiccups earlier throughout and possibly changed my mind about wanting to split the book in half. Eon is a semi-phenomenal ending to a phenomenal idea in a not so phenomenal first book in a duology, and I've yet to decide whether I should give the sequel a whirl to see if it improves compared to Eon.
<blockquote>Friendship is not something that can be forced.</blockquote>
(Except for one of my friends. According to him, he forced his way into us being friends. *sigh*)
--------------------
Original Review posted at <a href="http://bookwyrming-thoughts.blogspot.com/2014/12/review-eon-by-alison-goodman.html">Bookwyrming Thoughts</a>
<a href="http://bookwyrming-thoughts.blogspot.com/"><img src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-cG5gfBqJVzk/VA5BIojjZ9I/AAAAAAAAD1g/7srLUfpAGEU/s1600/banner.png"; /></a>
Purple Phoenix Games (2266 KP) rated Millennial Manatees in Tabletop Games
Mar 11, 2021
I am totes Gen X. Tail end, mind you, but still not a Millennial. That said, I can still appreciate things I have missed out on due to age gaps and generational differences. I want to make so many jokes right now but I genuinely do not want to offend anyone, let alone an entire generation of people. So I won’t. Enjoy the review.
Millennial Manatees is a worker-placement(ish) card(ish) game for one to four players. In it players are assuming roles of manatees tasked with paying off their identical student loan debt: 20 coins. The first player to make wise venture investments and create the best ROI will be crowned the winner! Please keep reading. This game is not at all a powerhouse economic simulation. It’s a fun game with manatees, avocado toast, and IT COMES IN A FANNY PACK.
DISCLAIMER: We were provided a copy of this game for the purposes of this review. This is a retail copy of the game, so what you see in these photos is exactly what would be received in your box fanny pack. I do not intend to cover every single rule included in the rulebook, but will describe the overall game flow and major rule set so that our readers may get a sense of how the game plays. For more in depth rules, you may purchase a copy online directly from the publisher (or Amazon if you wish) or from your FLGS. -T
To setup carefully empty the contents of the fanny pack game box(?) and unfold the game board. Upon it will be placed separated (but shuffled) face-up decks for Basic, Salty, and Big Mood venture cards. Next to these shuffle the Volunteer cards and place the deck face-down. Shuffle the remaining Manatee cards and place somewhere around the game board. Each player chooses a color of manatee and takes all the components matching its shirt color. Unlike the photo below place all “fanatee pack” tokens with the 7 coins side face-up and each player will start the game with three coins. The players will set their debt trackers at the starting position of the debt track, and the first player receives the avocado toast token. Yes, the big one you see below.
Each round begins with the avocado toast holder and continues around the table. The first player will place their manateeple (ooh I like that one) on any card or printed space on the game board. Options include: Basic, Salty, or Big Mood venture cards, Volunteer cards, Boomer Handout board space, Take the Toast board space, and Pay Back Student Debt board space. Once the current toast holder has placed their manateeple the next player may place on any other non-occupied space or card available. Note: the Pay Back Student Debt space is always available for any number of manateeples.
For the cost in coins printed on the cards, the Basic, Salty, and Big Mood venture cards can be purchased and placed in the player’s tableau of cards. This represents the player investing in certain business ventures in the hopes of earning more coins in the long run. Once a player has a venture card in front of them the card will specify how it will be activated and the benefit therein. Many cards allow the player to collect coins, but sometimes cards allow for stealing of other players’ coins or other nefarious doings.
The volunteer cards are drawn face-down and once read by the drawing player are kept face-down in their tableau until the proper game phase activates it or the player plays it to the discard pile.
Once a player decides they want to pay down their debt they will visit the Pay Back Student Debt space on the board. When they do this they will immediately use ALL coins they have earned and apply it directly to their debt by moving their tracker down the line by the amount paid.
By placing the manateeple on the Take the Toast space, that player simply takes the toast token and becomes the first player of the next round. By placing the manateeple on the Boomer Handout space the player will gain one coin during the Manatee phase.
The Manatee phase consists of the first player flipping the top card of the Manatee deck. Most of the cards in this deck are art depictions of manatees in different attire and hairstyles. When a Manatee card is flipped during this phase, all players reference any venture cards in their tableau to see if the manatee will trigger their card. For example, a manatee may be dressed in an orange shirt, wearing sunglasses, and holding a yoga mat. For those players whose venture cards are triggered by any of these items, their cards will bestow their benefits. There are two other types of cards in this deck as well, but I will let you experience these when you play.
Turns continue in this fashion of placing manateeples in unique spaces or cards, resolving any immediate effects, playing volunteer cards, flipping and resolving Manatee cards, and paying down student debt until one player has paid off the entire sum and wins the game! Then the hardest part of the game will commence: attempting to put all the components back in the fanny pack so that they are not damaged. Good luck.
Components. This game has some pretty spectacular components coupled with some really great art. Obviously, having a game packaged in a fanny pack is just delightful, even though I typically despise non-boxed games. Secondly, all the wooden manateeples and avocado toast tokens are just amazing to behold and handle. The cards are good quality and the game features incredible art throughout. I am a big fan of this art style – it is very cartoony and very cool. This theme is just perfection and the game that lies beneath the theme is very surprising.
I say the game beneath the great art and theme is surprising because I was completely not expecting to like this one as much as I do. At its heart it is a very light worker-placement game with hints of take that and based on using currency as victory points. I like all of those mechanics quite a bit, so combining these with aforementioned art and theme works for me on another level.
I feel this game is something I can bring out with almost any crowd of adults and have a smashing great time. There are so many little jokes packed into this little game that make me giggle every time I see them. And come on, a first player token that is avocado toast? It’s too good! I love all the colors assaulting my eyes, and I love all the hate-placement that happens, and I didn’t know that I love manatees as much as I now do.
Look, I am usually pretty positive about the games I play. But I also play a lot of stinkers. This one, thankfully, delivers a super fun game experience in an hour or less, even though the theme is absolutely ridiculous. But I also find that so charming. If you are looking for that special WOW game that is relatively light but incredibly satisfying to play, I strongly recommend checking out Millennial Manatees. Purple Phoenix Games gives this one 10 / 12 soy super americanos (is that a thing?). Display the pink fanny pack with pride next to all your super-serious games and watch as your visitors flock to it and ask what it is. Then play it with them and watch them fall in love as we did. I am very happy to now have this one in my collection.
Millennial Manatees is a worker-placement(ish) card(ish) game for one to four players. In it players are assuming roles of manatees tasked with paying off their identical student loan debt: 20 coins. The first player to make wise venture investments and create the best ROI will be crowned the winner! Please keep reading. This game is not at all a powerhouse economic simulation. It’s a fun game with manatees, avocado toast, and IT COMES IN A FANNY PACK.
DISCLAIMER: We were provided a copy of this game for the purposes of this review. This is a retail copy of the game, so what you see in these photos is exactly what would be received in your box fanny pack. I do not intend to cover every single rule included in the rulebook, but will describe the overall game flow and major rule set so that our readers may get a sense of how the game plays. For more in depth rules, you may purchase a copy online directly from the publisher (or Amazon if you wish) or from your FLGS. -T
To setup carefully empty the contents of the fanny pack game box(?) and unfold the game board. Upon it will be placed separated (but shuffled) face-up decks for Basic, Salty, and Big Mood venture cards. Next to these shuffle the Volunteer cards and place the deck face-down. Shuffle the remaining Manatee cards and place somewhere around the game board. Each player chooses a color of manatee and takes all the components matching its shirt color. Unlike the photo below place all “fanatee pack” tokens with the 7 coins side face-up and each player will start the game with three coins. The players will set their debt trackers at the starting position of the debt track, and the first player receives the avocado toast token. Yes, the big one you see below.
Each round begins with the avocado toast holder and continues around the table. The first player will place their manateeple (ooh I like that one) on any card or printed space on the game board. Options include: Basic, Salty, or Big Mood venture cards, Volunteer cards, Boomer Handout board space, Take the Toast board space, and Pay Back Student Debt board space. Once the current toast holder has placed their manateeple the next player may place on any other non-occupied space or card available. Note: the Pay Back Student Debt space is always available for any number of manateeples.
For the cost in coins printed on the cards, the Basic, Salty, and Big Mood venture cards can be purchased and placed in the player’s tableau of cards. This represents the player investing in certain business ventures in the hopes of earning more coins in the long run. Once a player has a venture card in front of them the card will specify how it will be activated and the benefit therein. Many cards allow the player to collect coins, but sometimes cards allow for stealing of other players’ coins or other nefarious doings.
The volunteer cards are drawn face-down and once read by the drawing player are kept face-down in their tableau until the proper game phase activates it or the player plays it to the discard pile.
Once a player decides they want to pay down their debt they will visit the Pay Back Student Debt space on the board. When they do this they will immediately use ALL coins they have earned and apply it directly to their debt by moving their tracker down the line by the amount paid.
By placing the manateeple on the Take the Toast space, that player simply takes the toast token and becomes the first player of the next round. By placing the manateeple on the Boomer Handout space the player will gain one coin during the Manatee phase.
The Manatee phase consists of the first player flipping the top card of the Manatee deck. Most of the cards in this deck are art depictions of manatees in different attire and hairstyles. When a Manatee card is flipped during this phase, all players reference any venture cards in their tableau to see if the manatee will trigger their card. For example, a manatee may be dressed in an orange shirt, wearing sunglasses, and holding a yoga mat. For those players whose venture cards are triggered by any of these items, their cards will bestow their benefits. There are two other types of cards in this deck as well, but I will let you experience these when you play.
Turns continue in this fashion of placing manateeples in unique spaces or cards, resolving any immediate effects, playing volunteer cards, flipping and resolving Manatee cards, and paying down student debt until one player has paid off the entire sum and wins the game! Then the hardest part of the game will commence: attempting to put all the components back in the fanny pack so that they are not damaged. Good luck.
Components. This game has some pretty spectacular components coupled with some really great art. Obviously, having a game packaged in a fanny pack is just delightful, even though I typically despise non-boxed games. Secondly, all the wooden manateeples and avocado toast tokens are just amazing to behold and handle. The cards are good quality and the game features incredible art throughout. I am a big fan of this art style – it is very cartoony and very cool. This theme is just perfection and the game that lies beneath the theme is very surprising.
I say the game beneath the great art and theme is surprising because I was completely not expecting to like this one as much as I do. At its heart it is a very light worker-placement game with hints of take that and based on using currency as victory points. I like all of those mechanics quite a bit, so combining these with aforementioned art and theme works for me on another level.
I feel this game is something I can bring out with almost any crowd of adults and have a smashing great time. There are so many little jokes packed into this little game that make me giggle every time I see them. And come on, a first player token that is avocado toast? It’s too good! I love all the colors assaulting my eyes, and I love all the hate-placement that happens, and I didn’t know that I love manatees as much as I now do.
Look, I am usually pretty positive about the games I play. But I also play a lot of stinkers. This one, thankfully, delivers a super fun game experience in an hour or less, even though the theme is absolutely ridiculous. But I also find that so charming. If you are looking for that special WOW game that is relatively light but incredibly satisfying to play, I strongly recommend checking out Millennial Manatees. Purple Phoenix Games gives this one 10 / 12 soy super americanos (is that a thing?). Display the pink fanny pack with pride next to all your super-serious games and watch as your visitors flock to it and ask what it is. Then play it with them and watch them fall in love as we did. I am very happy to now have this one in my collection.
Purple Phoenix Games (2266 KP) rated Christmas Lights in Tabletop Games
Dec 29, 2020
A Christmas game? Me?? I have never really been super into Christmastime. My wife (and kids obvs) are mega Christmas fiends, and I am trying to get more into the spirit all the time. So when a call for reviewers went out for this one, I wanted to give it a shot especially now during mid-December. For my wife, of course. Certainly not for me… Certainly not for me.
Christmas Lights is a card game for two to six players that has each player attempting to organize their tangle of light strands into some sort of order. However, as the lights aren’t yet on players are working in the dark. Therefore players cannot see the lights they are untangling and will need help from other players along the way.
DISCLAIMER: We were provided a copy of this game for the purposes of this review. This is a retail copy of the game, so what you see in these photos is exactly what would be received in your box. I do not intend to cover every single rule included in the rulebook, but will describe the overall game flow and major rule set so that our readers may get a sense of how the game plays. For more in depth rules, you may purchase a copy online or from your FLGS. -T
To setup a game shuffle and place out the Event, Pattern, and Bulb card decks into their piles. Deal each player five Bulb cards face-down and two Pattern cards. Each player will also be given a random Character card and player aid card. Whomever is dealt the Santa character will be the first player. The players will consult their Pattern cards and choose one to begin working on initially. The game is now ready to begin!
On a turn a player has the opportunity to take four different actions, in their specific order: Play, Swap, Sale, and Refill. To Play one or more cards, simply choose it/them from hand and place it/them down to begin or continue the strand pictured on the first Pattern card in exact sequence order. Should a player wish to Swap cards with another player, they simply take the swap card from their hand and grab whichever card they please from an opponent’s hand to be placed in their own. Next the player may offer a card from their hand to be sold to other players during the Sale phase. Should another player wish to purchase the card, they spend not money but information to the seller. This information comes in the form of answers to yes/no questions about cards in the active player’s hand. Wait, why, you ask? Because player hands in this game are played facing away from the player, exactly like are played in Hanabi. That’s right, players do not see the cards in their own hands, but rather every other player’s hand. Once some or all of these phases have been played, the active player will need to Refill their hand back up to five cards. It is now the next player’s turn.
Each of these steps will need to be taken in order. Should a player not wish to Swap, for example, they may not hold a Sale and then decide to Swap afterward.
Some Bulb cards are special. These include the Broken Bulb, the Bubble Bulb, and the Plug. A player may place a Broken Bulb anywhere in their strand sequence as a temporary placeholder, but it will need to be covered up by the correctly-colored Bulb card in the future before the player is able to score the strand. The Bubble Bulb is essentially a Wild Bulb and can be played in place of any colored Bulb. However, once played it will remind the player to draw and play an Event card immediately. These Event cards may be either good or bad for the active player, so there is risk in playing the wild Bubble Bulbs. Once the first strand is completed per the appropriate Pattern card, the player will need to play a Plug card in order to connect their first strand to their next. Then the player will be able to begin work on their second strand.
Play continues in this fashion of blind play and deduction of held cards until one player successfully completes both of their Pattern cards. Every player will be able to take the same amount of turns, and if there is a tie between players the used Broken and Bubble Bulb cards will be taken into consideration to determine the winner.
Components. This is a card game. There are a lot of cards. The cards are all great quality, and though I have seen reports of flimsy stock or even see-through quality thickness, I have not had this issue (though I believe I have the second edition of the game, so that might be a difference existing between the editions). The art on the cards is very cute and endearing. Each color of bulb is also a different shape so our colorblind friends should have an easier time playing as well. Each card is laid out well and I have no complaints about components at all.
The gameplay is such that I believe players will either love or hate. Not being able to see the cards in your hand can certainly be stressful and frustrating, but it is a very light card game. Get over it. Again, if you have played Hanabi before, you know the feeling. But it changes the game so drastically when you have to remember what’s in your hand at all times, and when players are swapping with you left and right it is definitely easy to forget what’s going on in your hand. Not that I ever had that problem… Okay, it happens all the time, but I just laugh it off.
I do love this little game and am so happy I took a chance on it. Though I am still learning to love Christmas (Halloween is my jam), this game has a ton going for it. In addition to the game I have loosely described in this review Christmas Lights comes with a booklet that has rule sets for 12 different games that can be played with the included components. TWELVE EXTRA GAME MODES. That’s crazy! So when purchasing Christmas Lights people are actually purchasing 13 games in one box, with two of those modes being for Solo players. The variety and replayability here is off the charts and I am excited to play through the other game modes as soon as I can, and I know my wife will be into as well.
That said, having a Christmas-themed game that delights my wife and I equally is certainly something that I can easily recommend. Purple Phoenix Games gives this one a cheery 10 / 12 for its portability, variability, cute art, and great game play. If you see it in stores, pick up a copy. I am going out on a limb and saying that you could even play this game when it’s NOT Christmastime and still have a great experience with it. If you are looking for something a little different and like Hanabi but wish for something else, give Christmas Lights a shot. Hopefully you will find it as charming as we both do. Oh, and a little pro tip: pour yourself a mug of chai and grab a gingerbread cookie whilst playing. Not necessary, but it certainly works for us. Happy Holidays, ALL holidays, everyone!
Christmas Lights is a card game for two to six players that has each player attempting to organize their tangle of light strands into some sort of order. However, as the lights aren’t yet on players are working in the dark. Therefore players cannot see the lights they are untangling and will need help from other players along the way.
DISCLAIMER: We were provided a copy of this game for the purposes of this review. This is a retail copy of the game, so what you see in these photos is exactly what would be received in your box. I do not intend to cover every single rule included in the rulebook, but will describe the overall game flow and major rule set so that our readers may get a sense of how the game plays. For more in depth rules, you may purchase a copy online or from your FLGS. -T
To setup a game shuffle and place out the Event, Pattern, and Bulb card decks into their piles. Deal each player five Bulb cards face-down and two Pattern cards. Each player will also be given a random Character card and player aid card. Whomever is dealt the Santa character will be the first player. The players will consult their Pattern cards and choose one to begin working on initially. The game is now ready to begin!
On a turn a player has the opportunity to take four different actions, in their specific order: Play, Swap, Sale, and Refill. To Play one or more cards, simply choose it/them from hand and place it/them down to begin or continue the strand pictured on the first Pattern card in exact sequence order. Should a player wish to Swap cards with another player, they simply take the swap card from their hand and grab whichever card they please from an opponent’s hand to be placed in their own. Next the player may offer a card from their hand to be sold to other players during the Sale phase. Should another player wish to purchase the card, they spend not money but information to the seller. This information comes in the form of answers to yes/no questions about cards in the active player’s hand. Wait, why, you ask? Because player hands in this game are played facing away from the player, exactly like are played in Hanabi. That’s right, players do not see the cards in their own hands, but rather every other player’s hand. Once some or all of these phases have been played, the active player will need to Refill their hand back up to five cards. It is now the next player’s turn.
Each of these steps will need to be taken in order. Should a player not wish to Swap, for example, they may not hold a Sale and then decide to Swap afterward.
Some Bulb cards are special. These include the Broken Bulb, the Bubble Bulb, and the Plug. A player may place a Broken Bulb anywhere in their strand sequence as a temporary placeholder, but it will need to be covered up by the correctly-colored Bulb card in the future before the player is able to score the strand. The Bubble Bulb is essentially a Wild Bulb and can be played in place of any colored Bulb. However, once played it will remind the player to draw and play an Event card immediately. These Event cards may be either good or bad for the active player, so there is risk in playing the wild Bubble Bulbs. Once the first strand is completed per the appropriate Pattern card, the player will need to play a Plug card in order to connect their first strand to their next. Then the player will be able to begin work on their second strand.
Play continues in this fashion of blind play and deduction of held cards until one player successfully completes both of their Pattern cards. Every player will be able to take the same amount of turns, and if there is a tie between players the used Broken and Bubble Bulb cards will be taken into consideration to determine the winner.
Components. This is a card game. There are a lot of cards. The cards are all great quality, and though I have seen reports of flimsy stock or even see-through quality thickness, I have not had this issue (though I believe I have the second edition of the game, so that might be a difference existing between the editions). The art on the cards is very cute and endearing. Each color of bulb is also a different shape so our colorblind friends should have an easier time playing as well. Each card is laid out well and I have no complaints about components at all.
The gameplay is such that I believe players will either love or hate. Not being able to see the cards in your hand can certainly be stressful and frustrating, but it is a very light card game. Get over it. Again, if you have played Hanabi before, you know the feeling. But it changes the game so drastically when you have to remember what’s in your hand at all times, and when players are swapping with you left and right it is definitely easy to forget what’s going on in your hand. Not that I ever had that problem… Okay, it happens all the time, but I just laugh it off.
I do love this little game and am so happy I took a chance on it. Though I am still learning to love Christmas (Halloween is my jam), this game has a ton going for it. In addition to the game I have loosely described in this review Christmas Lights comes with a booklet that has rule sets for 12 different games that can be played with the included components. TWELVE EXTRA GAME MODES. That’s crazy! So when purchasing Christmas Lights people are actually purchasing 13 games in one box, with two of those modes being for Solo players. The variety and replayability here is off the charts and I am excited to play through the other game modes as soon as I can, and I know my wife will be into as well.
That said, having a Christmas-themed game that delights my wife and I equally is certainly something that I can easily recommend. Purple Phoenix Games gives this one a cheery 10 / 12 for its portability, variability, cute art, and great game play. If you see it in stores, pick up a copy. I am going out on a limb and saying that you could even play this game when it’s NOT Christmastime and still have a great experience with it. If you are looking for something a little different and like Hanabi but wish for something else, give Christmas Lights a shot. Hopefully you will find it as charming as we both do. Oh, and a little pro tip: pour yourself a mug of chai and grab a gingerbread cookie whilst playing. Not necessary, but it certainly works for us. Happy Holidays, ALL holidays, everyone!
Purple Phoenix Games (2266 KP) rated Tutankhamun in Tabletop Games
Jul 9, 2021
Tutankhamun (per dictionary.com, the pronunciation is as such: [ toot-ahng-kah-muhn ]) is regularly shortened and often referred to as “King Tut.” My real question is that if the first syllable is “toot,” why do we not call him King Toot? I have a 5 year old boy and a 2 year old girl at the time of this writing, so I can tell you EXACTLY why we don’t call him King Toot, but that’s for another discussion. Never having played the original version, will I enjoy this new version of the game by world-renowned designer Dr. Reiner Knizia?
In Tutankhamun, players take on the roles of Egyptian priests attempting to cleanse their souls by gifting the sarcophagus with relics found along the Nile River. The priest who can cleanse their soul quickest will be proclaimed the next High Priest and winner of the game!
DISCLAIMER: We were provided a copy of this game for the purposes of this review. This is a retail copy of the game, so what you see in these photos is exactly what would be received in your box. I do not intend to cover every single rule included in the rulebook, but will describe the overall game flow and major rule set so that our readers may get a sense of how the game plays. For more in depth rules, you may purchase a copy online or from your FLGS. -T
To setup, place the King Tut sarcophagus on the table somewhere inside the box bottom. From this starting place (or you could place these components last I suppose), begin the laborious job of creating the Nile from the trapezoidal Relic TIles. This part took me a good several minutes each game. Place out the Underworld Mat near the start of the Nile, and place upon it the two Guardian Statue standees. From there give every player a reference card, have them choose a player color, place their boats at the start of the Nile, and Canopic Jar scoring markers on the appropriate space along the box bottom score track. The game may now begin!
Tutankhamun is played in turns starting with the starting player and proceeding clockwise. The starting player will choose ANY Relic Tile to collect and move their boat to that location. Once collected, the player will check to make sure there are still matching Relics along the Nile. If so, then play continues to the next player. If the active player had collected the last Relic of that type still active in the game, then the Relic type is scored.
Each Relic Tile features art of a Relic, a God, or a Scarab Ring. Relics come in sets, and when the final Relic of its type is collected, scoring immediately follows. Whichever player possesses the most Relic Tiles of the one being scored will earn points (or rather, negative points, as the priests are trying to cleanse their souls down to the winning score of zero) equal to the number printed on the tile. That number stands for the score earned as well as the number of Relics of that type in the game. The player with the second most Relics of the scored type will score half the number printed on the tile. All others do not score.
God Tiles feature art of one of five ancient Egyptian Gods: Osiris, Isis, Ra, Thoth, and Horus. Each of these Gods provide the collecting player with special powers to be used during the turn, and are always positive for the player.
Finally, Scarab Ring tiles are special in that they feature no number upon them. There are 10 tiles in the game, and as soon as a player collects one they immediately score one point (or one negative point). These tiles are not thrown into the box bottom, as the other scoring tiles are once scored, but are kept with the players to be scored at the end of the game. The player holding the most Scarab Tiles scores five negative points.
Any tile along the Nile that has been passed by all players is deposited onto the Underworld Mat and not added to the box bottom with the King Tut sarcophagus. Tiles may still be collected from the Underworld by permission of the Gods being collected in-game. Whichever priest is able to dwindle down their points and cleanse their soul first will win the game and become the next High Priest of Egypt!
Components. I am more and more becoming a fan of everything 25th Century Games is putting out. This is certainly no exception. I have seen photos of the original versions of this game, entitled Tutankhamen (with an E at the end instead of a U) and this game was certainly begging for a renovation. All the components have updated art, more vibrant colors, and the game even includes luxurious (and completely unnecessary) components. These are the very cool, but very unnecessary King Tut sarcophagus, and the Guardian Statue standees that add nothing to the gameplay but definitely help set the mood and theme. That all said, this version looks amazing on the table and has nearly infinite setup configurations!
What I like most about the game is the fact that on a player’s turn they can literally move forward to ANYWHERE along the Nile to gather whatever Relic they wish. They can pass up a tile or twelve along the way to snatch exactly what they want. However, the quicker a player reaches the sarcophagus does not automatically make them the winner. No, they still need to reduce their soul spirit score to zero in order to win (or be closest by the time all players reach the final spot). Conversely, dilly-dallying along the River just picking up every available tile also will not guarantee a victory. Specializing in a select few items may be the ticket to a victory, or setting oneself to win a couple types and win runner-up on the remainder may be a great path to victory.
Unlike many other games with this lazy race mechanic, the player furthest back does NOT get to keep taking turns to catch up (I’m looking at you, Tokaido), but rather just means that player has many more options ahead of themselves than the other players have. This is very interesting to me, and definitely something worth exploring more. It makes for tough turns when players have to really crunch which options are best for them: take the tile right ahead of them, diversify vs bolster the collection, or hate block another player by taking what you know they need. Ahh, so beautiful are the choices given!
At the end of the day (and this review), Purple Phoenix Games gives this one an Obama-meme-where-he-is-drinking-a-beer-and-giving-a-thumbs-up 5 / 6. I would certainly not have purchased this game in its original form had I seen it in a game store. However, with the changes made to make it more pretty, I would have given it a chance. I am so very glad I have the opportunity to play this a lot, as I can see this getting to the table allllllll the time. It is right up my alley, and I place it high among other Knizia games. Long live King Toot!!
In Tutankhamun, players take on the roles of Egyptian priests attempting to cleanse their souls by gifting the sarcophagus with relics found along the Nile River. The priest who can cleanse their soul quickest will be proclaimed the next High Priest and winner of the game!
DISCLAIMER: We were provided a copy of this game for the purposes of this review. This is a retail copy of the game, so what you see in these photos is exactly what would be received in your box. I do not intend to cover every single rule included in the rulebook, but will describe the overall game flow and major rule set so that our readers may get a sense of how the game plays. For more in depth rules, you may purchase a copy online or from your FLGS. -T
To setup, place the King Tut sarcophagus on the table somewhere inside the box bottom. From this starting place (or you could place these components last I suppose), begin the laborious job of creating the Nile from the trapezoidal Relic TIles. This part took me a good several minutes each game. Place out the Underworld Mat near the start of the Nile, and place upon it the two Guardian Statue standees. From there give every player a reference card, have them choose a player color, place their boats at the start of the Nile, and Canopic Jar scoring markers on the appropriate space along the box bottom score track. The game may now begin!
Tutankhamun is played in turns starting with the starting player and proceeding clockwise. The starting player will choose ANY Relic Tile to collect and move their boat to that location. Once collected, the player will check to make sure there are still matching Relics along the Nile. If so, then play continues to the next player. If the active player had collected the last Relic of that type still active in the game, then the Relic type is scored.
Each Relic Tile features art of a Relic, a God, or a Scarab Ring. Relics come in sets, and when the final Relic of its type is collected, scoring immediately follows. Whichever player possesses the most Relic Tiles of the one being scored will earn points (or rather, negative points, as the priests are trying to cleanse their souls down to the winning score of zero) equal to the number printed on the tile. That number stands for the score earned as well as the number of Relics of that type in the game. The player with the second most Relics of the scored type will score half the number printed on the tile. All others do not score.
God Tiles feature art of one of five ancient Egyptian Gods: Osiris, Isis, Ra, Thoth, and Horus. Each of these Gods provide the collecting player with special powers to be used during the turn, and are always positive for the player.
Finally, Scarab Ring tiles are special in that they feature no number upon them. There are 10 tiles in the game, and as soon as a player collects one they immediately score one point (or one negative point). These tiles are not thrown into the box bottom, as the other scoring tiles are once scored, but are kept with the players to be scored at the end of the game. The player holding the most Scarab Tiles scores five negative points.
Any tile along the Nile that has been passed by all players is deposited onto the Underworld Mat and not added to the box bottom with the King Tut sarcophagus. Tiles may still be collected from the Underworld by permission of the Gods being collected in-game. Whichever priest is able to dwindle down their points and cleanse their soul first will win the game and become the next High Priest of Egypt!
Components. I am more and more becoming a fan of everything 25th Century Games is putting out. This is certainly no exception. I have seen photos of the original versions of this game, entitled Tutankhamen (with an E at the end instead of a U) and this game was certainly begging for a renovation. All the components have updated art, more vibrant colors, and the game even includes luxurious (and completely unnecessary) components. These are the very cool, but very unnecessary King Tut sarcophagus, and the Guardian Statue standees that add nothing to the gameplay but definitely help set the mood and theme. That all said, this version looks amazing on the table and has nearly infinite setup configurations!
What I like most about the game is the fact that on a player’s turn they can literally move forward to ANYWHERE along the Nile to gather whatever Relic they wish. They can pass up a tile or twelve along the way to snatch exactly what they want. However, the quicker a player reaches the sarcophagus does not automatically make them the winner. No, they still need to reduce their soul spirit score to zero in order to win (or be closest by the time all players reach the final spot). Conversely, dilly-dallying along the River just picking up every available tile also will not guarantee a victory. Specializing in a select few items may be the ticket to a victory, or setting oneself to win a couple types and win runner-up on the remainder may be a great path to victory.
Unlike many other games with this lazy race mechanic, the player furthest back does NOT get to keep taking turns to catch up (I’m looking at you, Tokaido), but rather just means that player has many more options ahead of themselves than the other players have. This is very interesting to me, and definitely something worth exploring more. It makes for tough turns when players have to really crunch which options are best for them: take the tile right ahead of them, diversify vs bolster the collection, or hate block another player by taking what you know they need. Ahh, so beautiful are the choices given!
At the end of the day (and this review), Purple Phoenix Games gives this one an Obama-meme-where-he-is-drinking-a-beer-and-giving-a-thumbs-up 5 / 6. I would certainly not have purchased this game in its original form had I seen it in a game store. However, with the changes made to make it more pretty, I would have given it a chance. I am so very glad I have the opportunity to play this a lot, as I can see this getting to the table allllllll the time. It is right up my alley, and I place it high among other Knizia games. Long live King Toot!!
Purple Phoenix Games (2266 KP) rated Fort in Tabletop Games
Jul 27, 2021
One activity my 5-year-old son will never tire of: building forts. Mostly pillow/blanket-based, but all I am doing is grooming him for an eventual treehouse fort of his own in the backyard someday. What an excellent theme for a game, and when I had a chance to speak with Brooke from Leder Games about reviewing this one, I absolutely jumped for joy for the opportunity. No guessing whether we like a game here at Purple Phoenix Games – we put our ratings right on the first graphic of every review, so you know already that I love Fort. Let’s see why.
Fort is a hand management, deck-building game with a follow mechanic for two to four players. In it, players are assuming the roles of everyday kids trying to build their forts, play with their toys, and eat pizza with their buddies. The winner of the game is they who is able to score the most victory points (VP) at the end of the game, which can end in one of three different fashions.
DISCLAIMER: We were provided a copy of this game for the purposes of this review. This is a retail copy of the game, so what you see in these photos is exactly what would be received in your box. I do not intend to cover every single rule included in the rulebook, but will describe the overall game flow and major rule set so that our readers may get a sense of how the game plays. For more in depth rules, you may purchase a copy online or from your FLGS. -T
To setup, each player chooses a player color and takes all items belonging to them, including the Best Friends cards from the stack. Every other component is then separated by type and cards shuffled. Per the rules, some decks of cards will only have a certain amount on the table, whereas the main deck of kid cards is always used. Each player will draw eight kid cards from the deck to add to their Best Friends and shuffle them. They will also place their score markers on the 0 space of the Victory Track board. Randomly determine the starting player and give them the coveted First Player card, and the game may now begin!
Fort is played in turns, with each turn consisting of five phases (the first phase is skipped on the first turn). The first phase is Cleanup. To Cleanup, the active player takes all kid cards remaining in their Yard and places them in their own discard pile. Next, the active player will Play a kid card from their hand. On each card is a space for up to two actions to be taken: the public action on top and the private action on bottom. The player may complete both, but MUST complete at least one of the actions in its entirety. If using the public action of the card, then other players at the table may also follow the action by discarding one card of the matching suit of the card originally played. However, the leader (active player) may also play additional cards from their hand, of the same suit, in order to boost the effects of the actions. Followers may not. These actions include gaining “stuff” (pizza and toys) to be placed in their Stuff area or backpack, trashing cards in their hands, or gaining VP.
After the players have Played cards, the next phase is Recruit. The active player may choose any kid card that exists in the Park (the space underneath the Victory Track that is always full of kids), another player’s Yard (the space above the player’s main board that they neglected to play with their previous turn), or they may simply draw a kid card blindly from the Park deck. These kids are sent directly to the discard pile to be drawn on a later turn.
Finally, phases four and five end a player’s turn. Phase four is Discard, where the active player will discard all their Best Friends, kid cards they played this turn, and recruited kids. The kid cards leftover that were not used are sent to the player’s Yard above their main boards to possibly be stolen by another player during their Recruit phase. After Discarding, the final phase is Draw, where the active player will draw another hand of five cards to prepare to follow other players and to prepare for the next round. Fort continues in this fashion of each player taking turns and following others’ actions until one player earns 25 VP on the track, any player increases their Fort to level 5, or the Park deck becomes empty. All players will finish their turns so that they all have played an equal amount of turns, and then the players total their scores to crown the winner!
Components. This game has super great components. The little pizza and toys bits are awesome, the double-layered boards are cool, and the art is amazing as well. If it looks familiar in style, it’s because you have seen this art on Root, Oath, and Vast, among others. I love it so much and it is a perfect match for this theme. I really have little negative to say about Fort except that I wish the player colors were different. The orange and yellow are a little close in hue, and the brownish/olive is drab. Everything else, though, *chef’s kiss.
It is probably no surprise why I love this one. Deck-building has long been one of my favorite mechanics, and I have always enjoyed the follow mechanic found in Tiny Epic Galaxies and Villages of Valeria. Mix those up with much more going on and an excellent theme and it’s definitely a big time winner for me. I think what puts me over the edge here is that cards can be used for a couple different actions, and they can be boosted with the right strategies. Get your deck in order to really maximize each turn and the game opens up for you. Several times I have been able to focus my deck and really pound some powerful abilities, but it certainly doesn’t always work out for me, especially when others catch on to what I am doing and hate-draft me into other tactics.
If you are into a fresh new look at deck-building and enjoy more wacky themes, as I do, then I urge you to check out Fort. Officially, Purple Phoenix Games gives this one a playful 5 / 6, but even though it probably won’t break into my Top 10, I do think it will come to the table more often than most games in my Top 10. So should I reconsider my Top 10? Hmm. Anyway, Fort is awesome and everyone I have played with seem to agree with me. So grab a copy or two for yourself. Heck, the gift-giving season is fast approaching, and I know these fit very well under trees and other significant symbols of festivities…
Fort is a hand management, deck-building game with a follow mechanic for two to four players. In it, players are assuming the roles of everyday kids trying to build their forts, play with their toys, and eat pizza with their buddies. The winner of the game is they who is able to score the most victory points (VP) at the end of the game, which can end in one of three different fashions.
DISCLAIMER: We were provided a copy of this game for the purposes of this review. This is a retail copy of the game, so what you see in these photos is exactly what would be received in your box. I do not intend to cover every single rule included in the rulebook, but will describe the overall game flow and major rule set so that our readers may get a sense of how the game plays. For more in depth rules, you may purchase a copy online or from your FLGS. -T
To setup, each player chooses a player color and takes all items belonging to them, including the Best Friends cards from the stack. Every other component is then separated by type and cards shuffled. Per the rules, some decks of cards will only have a certain amount on the table, whereas the main deck of kid cards is always used. Each player will draw eight kid cards from the deck to add to their Best Friends and shuffle them. They will also place their score markers on the 0 space of the Victory Track board. Randomly determine the starting player and give them the coveted First Player card, and the game may now begin!
Fort is played in turns, with each turn consisting of five phases (the first phase is skipped on the first turn). The first phase is Cleanup. To Cleanup, the active player takes all kid cards remaining in their Yard and places them in their own discard pile. Next, the active player will Play a kid card from their hand. On each card is a space for up to two actions to be taken: the public action on top and the private action on bottom. The player may complete both, but MUST complete at least one of the actions in its entirety. If using the public action of the card, then other players at the table may also follow the action by discarding one card of the matching suit of the card originally played. However, the leader (active player) may also play additional cards from their hand, of the same suit, in order to boost the effects of the actions. Followers may not. These actions include gaining “stuff” (pizza and toys) to be placed in their Stuff area or backpack, trashing cards in their hands, or gaining VP.
After the players have Played cards, the next phase is Recruit. The active player may choose any kid card that exists in the Park (the space underneath the Victory Track that is always full of kids), another player’s Yard (the space above the player’s main board that they neglected to play with their previous turn), or they may simply draw a kid card blindly from the Park deck. These kids are sent directly to the discard pile to be drawn on a later turn.
Finally, phases four and five end a player’s turn. Phase four is Discard, where the active player will discard all their Best Friends, kid cards they played this turn, and recruited kids. The kid cards leftover that were not used are sent to the player’s Yard above their main boards to possibly be stolen by another player during their Recruit phase. After Discarding, the final phase is Draw, where the active player will draw another hand of five cards to prepare to follow other players and to prepare for the next round. Fort continues in this fashion of each player taking turns and following others’ actions until one player earns 25 VP on the track, any player increases their Fort to level 5, or the Park deck becomes empty. All players will finish their turns so that they all have played an equal amount of turns, and then the players total their scores to crown the winner!
Components. This game has super great components. The little pizza and toys bits are awesome, the double-layered boards are cool, and the art is amazing as well. If it looks familiar in style, it’s because you have seen this art on Root, Oath, and Vast, among others. I love it so much and it is a perfect match for this theme. I really have little negative to say about Fort except that I wish the player colors were different. The orange and yellow are a little close in hue, and the brownish/olive is drab. Everything else, though, *chef’s kiss.
It is probably no surprise why I love this one. Deck-building has long been one of my favorite mechanics, and I have always enjoyed the follow mechanic found in Tiny Epic Galaxies and Villages of Valeria. Mix those up with much more going on and an excellent theme and it’s definitely a big time winner for me. I think what puts me over the edge here is that cards can be used for a couple different actions, and they can be boosted with the right strategies. Get your deck in order to really maximize each turn and the game opens up for you. Several times I have been able to focus my deck and really pound some powerful abilities, but it certainly doesn’t always work out for me, especially when others catch on to what I am doing and hate-draft me into other tactics.
If you are into a fresh new look at deck-building and enjoy more wacky themes, as I do, then I urge you to check out Fort. Officially, Purple Phoenix Games gives this one a playful 5 / 6, but even though it probably won’t break into my Top 10, I do think it will come to the table more often than most games in my Top 10. So should I reconsider my Top 10? Hmm. Anyway, Fort is awesome and everyone I have played with seem to agree with me. So grab a copy or two for yourself. Heck, the gift-giving season is fast approaching, and I know these fit very well under trees and other significant symbols of festivities…
Kara Skinner (332 KP) rated The Queen's Consorts in Books
Sep 10, 2019
“We should feel nothing toward her, yet I’m drawn to her– as powerfully as I’m drawn to you.”
If you’ve been reading Lover’s Quarrel reviews, then you know how much I love plot and character with my sex scenes. I mean, look at how much I hate The Doctor’s Slave compared to Mine for Tonight when they (very) roughly have the same concept. The scarcity of plot in erotica can be particularly vexing when I’m in the mood for a MMF threesome. (Doesn’t happen often, but even then I want some plot and good characters.)
The Queen’s Consorts definitely delivered. “In the days before the darkness the sun shone so brightly flowers grew right out of the ground,” Sari said softly. “Just like magic.”
Like everyone else on the planet of Auroria, Sari has never seen sunlight, and she never will unless the Queen returns to her Consorts and takes her proper place on the throne. But she doubts that will ever happen. After all, the young Queen has been missing since infancy, separated from her Consorts who were kept away from the world in the Sacred City, the palace in the Capital.
It took me a little bit to get used to Auroria. It’s common in this world for a woman to have two husbands, who will love and please her. With women so rare, they are valuable and meant to be cherished. Or they are meant to be extremely profitable sex slaves.
Sari resisted the urge to take Aria to a shelter, knowing there was usually a far worse fate than a life on the streets for young, unclaimed females. Being much more rare than males, if a girl was unfortunate enough to be orphaned and alone, they were usually seized for the underground sex market that was saturated with males.
Pretty crazy for a Queendom, where women are revered, huh? But it’s actually not a flaw. It just goes to show how out of whack everything is without the Queen there.
Unfortunately, the scarcity of women get Aria and Sari hunted down by a pack of teenaged boys, looking to make some quick money. Sari is able to fight them off enough for them to run, but she takes a bad beating. She only lives when a Sacred City guard recognizes her as a Rayian Sister. The guard takes her into the Sacred City, where she’s left to the care of the Consorts, Taryen and Calder, in their private chambers. After years of being abused by the Rayian Sisters, Taryen and Calder are used to only relying on and trusting each other. But it isn’t long before they realize Sari isn’t like the other Sisters.
Both Taryen and Calder are extremely sexy in their own way. Right away I had Taryen pegged as the kinder one who would freely love Sari first and Calder would take longer to learn to love and trust Sari.
“I want to care for her,” the other man said before his friend Calder could answer. “It’s not fair for her to suffer for misdeeds of others, Cal. I know you know that.”
“She’s Rayian, Taryen. Her needs will be the same as the rest of them.”
Calder is definitely the more wary of the two. He’s incredibly protective of Taryen, and he doesn’t trust Rayians for good reason. I knew he’d come around eventually, but for the time being I enjoyed Taryen’s amazingness. He was quick to take care of Sari, even at his own risk.
“She will be angry and inclined to punish if others of our sex have abused her.”
“That’s all right,” Taryen whispered a breath away from Sari. “I will bear their punishment for them if that’s what she needs to heal.”
Can I also just say that I love it when authors know that “alright” isn’t a word and they use the correct form? Good editing gets to me just as much as good characters.
If you’re thinking Taryen’s character is over the top and unrealistic, then you would be right. But that’s explained! He was born with a defect that makes him pure of heart. He’s unable to hold onto negative feelings and he’s incredibly selfless because of it. And damn, he’s pretty wonderful. Just perfectly wonderful.
Calder’s not pure of heart and like most people who have been sexually abused for years, he’s angry and resentful. The only person he trusts is Taryen. I was hoping for a long love story between him and Sari, honestly. He needs to work through trust issues, and even if he is attracted to her, he can’t bring himself to fall in love with a Rayian after what he’s been through. Right?
No.
Calder is wary of Sari… for like an hour. I know that the laws of nature have demanded that he love her and everything, but it was still too insta-love. Taryen is pure of heart and doesn’t have the emotional baggage Calder and Sari has. Of course Taryen is going to fall in love quicker. Calder, however, should have held out a little longer. I wanted one of them to take his time falling in love with her.
But I love Calder and Taryen together. They are beautiful without a doubt, and their love for each other actually made it really difficult for me to imagine them loving Sari just as much.
“Never treat me like one of them,” Calder growled as if the words themselves were hurting him. “I’m your lifemate. You’re allowed to take pleasure from me.”
Taryen’s groan was breathy in a way that betrayed his desire. “I’m sorry. It just slipped out.”
Don’t apologize.” Calder’s tone softened as his touch became gentle, his fingers tracing the line of Taryen’s jaw. “Just tell me what you want. Tell me what you think about when you’re with them. What thought makes it bearable?”
“I think of you.”
I was swooning in the college library when I read this. SWOONING!
I mean seriously, Calder and Taryen have way too much heat and love for me to handle. They alone can put the entire erotica industry to shame, let alone adding Sari into the mix. I mean, it’s like having both Sayid and Sawyer from Lost in all their sexiness.
My biggest problem with the story was the question of who the Queen was. After all, the Queen is the only woman the Consorts are supposed to be attracted to, she’s the same age as them, and because she was missing, she would be a Rayian without a clear past. And yet it’s not until over a third of the way through the book that Taryen and Calder figure out who she is. Seriously? It’s not like there are many Rayians running around who are their own age and have a clear past. It also irritates me that everyone believed Laysa when she claimed to be the Queen. Of course she would claim credit when the sun came back because she’s an opportunistic bitch. But if she was really the Queen, then wouldn’t she have brought the sun back when she started using the Consorts? Years ago?
The only other thing that bothered me was the sound effect when they were performing, um… fellatio. Whenever the action is completed, it’s completed with a soft popping sound. What the hell is that? That’s not sexy. No. Stop it. Sound effects are never appreciated in sex scenes.
But all in all, this book rocks. I loved the world of Auroria and the political war. The love story was fantastic, all things considered. And if you’re looking for a substantial erotica book with good writing and a well-developed plot, then you really need to check out The Queen’s Consorts.
If you’ve been reading Lover’s Quarrel reviews, then you know how much I love plot and character with my sex scenes. I mean, look at how much I hate The Doctor’s Slave compared to Mine for Tonight when they (very) roughly have the same concept. The scarcity of plot in erotica can be particularly vexing when I’m in the mood for a MMF threesome. (Doesn’t happen often, but even then I want some plot and good characters.)
The Queen’s Consorts definitely delivered. “In the days before the darkness the sun shone so brightly flowers grew right out of the ground,” Sari said softly. “Just like magic.”
Like everyone else on the planet of Auroria, Sari has never seen sunlight, and she never will unless the Queen returns to her Consorts and takes her proper place on the throne. But she doubts that will ever happen. After all, the young Queen has been missing since infancy, separated from her Consorts who were kept away from the world in the Sacred City, the palace in the Capital.
It took me a little bit to get used to Auroria. It’s common in this world for a woman to have two husbands, who will love and please her. With women so rare, they are valuable and meant to be cherished. Or they are meant to be extremely profitable sex slaves.
Sari resisted the urge to take Aria to a shelter, knowing there was usually a far worse fate than a life on the streets for young, unclaimed females. Being much more rare than males, if a girl was unfortunate enough to be orphaned and alone, they were usually seized for the underground sex market that was saturated with males.
Pretty crazy for a Queendom, where women are revered, huh? But it’s actually not a flaw. It just goes to show how out of whack everything is without the Queen there.
Unfortunately, the scarcity of women get Aria and Sari hunted down by a pack of teenaged boys, looking to make some quick money. Sari is able to fight them off enough for them to run, but she takes a bad beating. She only lives when a Sacred City guard recognizes her as a Rayian Sister. The guard takes her into the Sacred City, where she’s left to the care of the Consorts, Taryen and Calder, in their private chambers. After years of being abused by the Rayian Sisters, Taryen and Calder are used to only relying on and trusting each other. But it isn’t long before they realize Sari isn’t like the other Sisters.
Both Taryen and Calder are extremely sexy in their own way. Right away I had Taryen pegged as the kinder one who would freely love Sari first and Calder would take longer to learn to love and trust Sari.
“I want to care for her,” the other man said before his friend Calder could answer. “It’s not fair for her to suffer for misdeeds of others, Cal. I know you know that.”
“She’s Rayian, Taryen. Her needs will be the same as the rest of them.”
Calder is definitely the more wary of the two. He’s incredibly protective of Taryen, and he doesn’t trust Rayians for good reason. I knew he’d come around eventually, but for the time being I enjoyed Taryen’s amazingness. He was quick to take care of Sari, even at his own risk.
“She will be angry and inclined to punish if others of our sex have abused her.”
“That’s all right,” Taryen whispered a breath away from Sari. “I will bear their punishment for them if that’s what she needs to heal.”
Can I also just say that I love it when authors know that “alright” isn’t a word and they use the correct form? Good editing gets to me just as much as good characters.
If you’re thinking Taryen’s character is over the top and unrealistic, then you would be right. But that’s explained! He was born with a defect that makes him pure of heart. He’s unable to hold onto negative feelings and he’s incredibly selfless because of it. And damn, he’s pretty wonderful. Just perfectly wonderful.
Calder’s not pure of heart and like most people who have been sexually abused for years, he’s angry and resentful. The only person he trusts is Taryen. I was hoping for a long love story between him and Sari, honestly. He needs to work through trust issues, and even if he is attracted to her, he can’t bring himself to fall in love with a Rayian after what he’s been through. Right?
No.
Calder is wary of Sari… for like an hour. I know that the laws of nature have demanded that he love her and everything, but it was still too insta-love. Taryen is pure of heart and doesn’t have the emotional baggage Calder and Sari has. Of course Taryen is going to fall in love quicker. Calder, however, should have held out a little longer. I wanted one of them to take his time falling in love with her.
But I love Calder and Taryen together. They are beautiful without a doubt, and their love for each other actually made it really difficult for me to imagine them loving Sari just as much.
“Never treat me like one of them,” Calder growled as if the words themselves were hurting him. “I’m your lifemate. You’re allowed to take pleasure from me.”
Taryen’s groan was breathy in a way that betrayed his desire. “I’m sorry. It just slipped out.”
Don’t apologize.” Calder’s tone softened as his touch became gentle, his fingers tracing the line of Taryen’s jaw. “Just tell me what you want. Tell me what you think about when you’re with them. What thought makes it bearable?”
“I think of you.”
I was swooning in the college library when I read this. SWOONING!
I mean seriously, Calder and Taryen have way too much heat and love for me to handle. They alone can put the entire erotica industry to shame, let alone adding Sari into the mix. I mean, it’s like having both Sayid and Sawyer from Lost in all their sexiness.
My biggest problem with the story was the question of who the Queen was. After all, the Queen is the only woman the Consorts are supposed to be attracted to, she’s the same age as them, and because she was missing, she would be a Rayian without a clear past. And yet it’s not until over a third of the way through the book that Taryen and Calder figure out who she is. Seriously? It’s not like there are many Rayians running around who are their own age and have a clear past. It also irritates me that everyone believed Laysa when she claimed to be the Queen. Of course she would claim credit when the sun came back because she’s an opportunistic bitch. But if she was really the Queen, then wouldn’t she have brought the sun back when she started using the Consorts? Years ago?
The only other thing that bothered me was the sound effect when they were performing, um… fellatio. Whenever the action is completed, it’s completed with a soft popping sound. What the hell is that? That’s not sexy. No. Stop it. Sound effects are never appreciated in sex scenes.
But all in all, this book rocks. I loved the world of Auroria and the political war. The love story was fantastic, all things considered. And if you’re looking for a substantial erotica book with good writing and a well-developed plot, then you really need to check out The Queen’s Consorts.
Kirk Bage (1775 KP) rated Game Of Thrones in TV
Aug 6, 2020
Look on the bright side, we all said, without really believing it, when lockdown hit in March – time to watch those box sets we’ve been putting off. Well that was, of course, a great idea! For me that box set was possibly the biggest of all: the behemoth that is GOT.
Much like when a new band gets big quickly and you refuse to listen to the hype, I avoided watching the biggest show in the world, even when it was on in the same room as I tried to read a book in the other corner. It wasn’t that I thought I wouldn’t like it, but more that I didn’t believe it could be anywhere near as good as folk were making it out to be, especially as season one looked like only a slight step up on the swords and sandles exploitation-fests that had been going around. I labelled it “Tits and Dragons” and got on with my life for the next 8 years.
March 2020 will go down in history as the biggest spike in streaming TV services the globe will ever see. Literally millions of previously casual watchers, who had been busy having lives and jobs, turned to Netflix, Amazon Prime, Now TV and iPlayer etc, in search of endless hours of easy entertainment they could immerse their bored and twitchy minds inside of. Without internet at home, I had to go a bit more old school and rely on my daughter posting me the DVDs of GOT season by season.
I found season one enjoyable, with caveats, as it seemed to be one massive exposition (and sexposition) workshop. Obviously the main characters were being set up for big storylines down the road. In which sense it reminded me of a soap opera; in how it flitted between characters and relationships, never dwelling on one plot point for more than two minutes. I liked the way the production had set itself up though – the sets and costumes were of a much higher level than was usual for this kind of thing. Then there was those great opening credits, which become impossible not to hum along to as you get more into it.
Sadly, the first big shock moment didn’t shock me, as I’d heard so much about it on social media 9 years ago. But it was still very well done. Bold and brave; to take out a big name that early was a master stroke. By the end of S1E9 I was properly hooked. Although it helped I didn’t have anything else to do!
The next two weeks I had to wait for season two to be posted out, so I embarked on watching all the DVD commentaries too to kill some time in the evenings whilst I waited. This is almost certainly something I wouldn’t have done under normal circumstances and I believe it is what cemented my enjoyment of it as a whole. Listening to the cast and crew reminisce about what a great time they had, and how close they all were, really helped put it into context for me. I was already loving Peter Dinklage and Lena Headey, but their humour and irreverence in the commentaries made it feel like there were pals in the room watching it with me.
By season two and beyond, I was looking at maps, memorizing every minor character’s name, house and motto, and just immersing in it to the point of obsession. As, I guess, millions of people had already done over the years, but now I got what the fuss was all about. It is an addictive show; you have to know what happens next, you simply can’t leave it alone! Whether it is hissing and booing at Joffrey, or loving to hate Cersei, or siding with the bastards and broken things, there is always something engaging going on – and when a character you disliked dies horribly it is so satisfying!
It is a weird mix, however, of moments so horribly signposted, with some dubious acting, and moments of real surprise and emotion delivered with great acting. Many of the characters really grow into their skins as the actors get more familiar and comfortable being them. The writers too get better at putting the right words in their mouths, and learn to minimise the exposition moments. The young ones in particular really grow impressively as it goes on into seasons 3 and 4. Maisie Williams as the slightly sadistic loner Arya Stark especially. I loved how none stereotypical that character was, and have to say her relationship with The Hound was my favourite thing in the whole show.
At the climax of season four, which I believe was the peak of it artistically, the story arc of Dinklage as Tyrion Lannister, aka The Imp, becomes so compellingly good you can’t take your eyes off him. I had already come to the conclusion that his scenes were the best ones, but this went to 11 on the dial. And it gets better thinking back on it too. Which can’t truly be said of where they go with John Snow and Daenarys, who are ostensibly the main draw by this point, as all storylines seem to mirror their journeys on opposite sides of the world; a song of ice and fire, indeed.
Seasons 5 and 6 continued to be great, even though the dramatic peaks were hard to top. What did improve was the big set pieces, as episodes such as Hardhome and Battle of the Bastards upper the bar on huge battles, staged masterfully. There were things happening that I had never seen in a TV show before, both creatively and budget spent. Watching some of the making of documentaries was fascinating in this regard. The props department alone was astonishingly detailed, to Lord of the Rings degrees, properly impressive!
To go into story and scene details here is pointless, and I don’t want to include any more spoilers than I already have, just in case there is anyone else like me, that hasn’t done the whole journey yet. Obviously, there was some controversy in where seasons 7 and especially 8 went with some storylines and characters. I thought it was mostly fine, to be honest, I just went with it. But it did become a little stretched and hurried, as it raced towards its conclusion. It’s hard for me to get a proper impression of how tense and then annoying it would be to wait a long time for a new season and then have it not go where you imagined it would. Not a problem for me, as I blitzed the final 4 seasons in about a week.
As the episode ratings of season 8 on IMDb indicate, folk were not happy. There was an element of anti-climax, to be fair, but what else could it have been, now so many people claim it as their own? The end isn’t perfect, and that may have a lot to do with the fact they stopped following the books, because they hadn’t been written. In all honestly, I didn’t care. It was spectacular and diverting enough to keep my attention, and my investment in the characters not brutally killed off was not teenage enough to take it personally. I do have sympathy for fans that felt their loyalty betrayed, but come on… it’s just a TV show.
Watching the same fictional world for more than 70 actual hours can do things to you brain. In conclusion I would say I loved going there! The good things always outweighed the annoying things, and it is an experience I would recommend to anyone who hasn’t done it. Whatever age you are, it is a must see phenomenon, like The Sopranos – oh wait, I haven’t seen that yet either…
Much like when a new band gets big quickly and you refuse to listen to the hype, I avoided watching the biggest show in the world, even when it was on in the same room as I tried to read a book in the other corner. It wasn’t that I thought I wouldn’t like it, but more that I didn’t believe it could be anywhere near as good as folk were making it out to be, especially as season one looked like only a slight step up on the swords and sandles exploitation-fests that had been going around. I labelled it “Tits and Dragons” and got on with my life for the next 8 years.
March 2020 will go down in history as the biggest spike in streaming TV services the globe will ever see. Literally millions of previously casual watchers, who had been busy having lives and jobs, turned to Netflix, Amazon Prime, Now TV and iPlayer etc, in search of endless hours of easy entertainment they could immerse their bored and twitchy minds inside of. Without internet at home, I had to go a bit more old school and rely on my daughter posting me the DVDs of GOT season by season.
I found season one enjoyable, with caveats, as it seemed to be one massive exposition (and sexposition) workshop. Obviously the main characters were being set up for big storylines down the road. In which sense it reminded me of a soap opera; in how it flitted between characters and relationships, never dwelling on one plot point for more than two minutes. I liked the way the production had set itself up though – the sets and costumes were of a much higher level than was usual for this kind of thing. Then there was those great opening credits, which become impossible not to hum along to as you get more into it.
Sadly, the first big shock moment didn’t shock me, as I’d heard so much about it on social media 9 years ago. But it was still very well done. Bold and brave; to take out a big name that early was a master stroke. By the end of S1E9 I was properly hooked. Although it helped I didn’t have anything else to do!
The next two weeks I had to wait for season two to be posted out, so I embarked on watching all the DVD commentaries too to kill some time in the evenings whilst I waited. This is almost certainly something I wouldn’t have done under normal circumstances and I believe it is what cemented my enjoyment of it as a whole. Listening to the cast and crew reminisce about what a great time they had, and how close they all were, really helped put it into context for me. I was already loving Peter Dinklage and Lena Headey, but their humour and irreverence in the commentaries made it feel like there were pals in the room watching it with me.
By season two and beyond, I was looking at maps, memorizing every minor character’s name, house and motto, and just immersing in it to the point of obsession. As, I guess, millions of people had already done over the years, but now I got what the fuss was all about. It is an addictive show; you have to know what happens next, you simply can’t leave it alone! Whether it is hissing and booing at Joffrey, or loving to hate Cersei, or siding with the bastards and broken things, there is always something engaging going on – and when a character you disliked dies horribly it is so satisfying!
It is a weird mix, however, of moments so horribly signposted, with some dubious acting, and moments of real surprise and emotion delivered with great acting. Many of the characters really grow into their skins as the actors get more familiar and comfortable being them. The writers too get better at putting the right words in their mouths, and learn to minimise the exposition moments. The young ones in particular really grow impressively as it goes on into seasons 3 and 4. Maisie Williams as the slightly sadistic loner Arya Stark especially. I loved how none stereotypical that character was, and have to say her relationship with The Hound was my favourite thing in the whole show.
At the climax of season four, which I believe was the peak of it artistically, the story arc of Dinklage as Tyrion Lannister, aka The Imp, becomes so compellingly good you can’t take your eyes off him. I had already come to the conclusion that his scenes were the best ones, but this went to 11 on the dial. And it gets better thinking back on it too. Which can’t truly be said of where they go with John Snow and Daenarys, who are ostensibly the main draw by this point, as all storylines seem to mirror their journeys on opposite sides of the world; a song of ice and fire, indeed.
Seasons 5 and 6 continued to be great, even though the dramatic peaks were hard to top. What did improve was the big set pieces, as episodes such as Hardhome and Battle of the Bastards upper the bar on huge battles, staged masterfully. There were things happening that I had never seen in a TV show before, both creatively and budget spent. Watching some of the making of documentaries was fascinating in this regard. The props department alone was astonishingly detailed, to Lord of the Rings degrees, properly impressive!
To go into story and scene details here is pointless, and I don’t want to include any more spoilers than I already have, just in case there is anyone else like me, that hasn’t done the whole journey yet. Obviously, there was some controversy in where seasons 7 and especially 8 went with some storylines and characters. I thought it was mostly fine, to be honest, I just went with it. But it did become a little stretched and hurried, as it raced towards its conclusion. It’s hard for me to get a proper impression of how tense and then annoying it would be to wait a long time for a new season and then have it not go where you imagined it would. Not a problem for me, as I blitzed the final 4 seasons in about a week.
As the episode ratings of season 8 on IMDb indicate, folk were not happy. There was an element of anti-climax, to be fair, but what else could it have been, now so many people claim it as their own? The end isn’t perfect, and that may have a lot to do with the fact they stopped following the books, because they hadn’t been written. In all honestly, I didn’t care. It was spectacular and diverting enough to keep my attention, and my investment in the characters not brutally killed off was not teenage enough to take it personally. I do have sympathy for fans that felt their loyalty betrayed, but come on… it’s just a TV show.
Watching the same fictional world for more than 70 actual hours can do things to you brain. In conclusion I would say I loved going there! The good things always outweighed the annoying things, and it is an experience I would recommend to anyone who hasn’t done it. Whatever age you are, it is a must see phenomenon, like The Sopranos – oh wait, I haven’t seen that yet either…
Bob Mann (459 KP) rated Ad Astra (2019) in Movies
Sep 28, 2021
Impressive visuals, but rather disappointing as an overall package.
Like father, like son?
I really love sci-fi films with high ambitions. “Psychological” sci-fi like “Solaris” for example. And “Arrival” topped my movie list for 2016. In similar vein, “Ad Astra” is also a movie concerning attempted contact with alien life. So I had high hopes for it. But would this Sci-fi epic ultimately challenge my brain again, or end up in the “Crystal Skull” sin bin with a dodgy alien meeting?
The Plot
Set a few years into the future, Roy McBride (Brad Pitt) is the son of a legend. H. Clifford McBride (Tommy Lee Jones) was a space exploration pioneer. His picture hangs in the NASA hall of fame next to Buzz Aldrin’s. McBride senior went missing presumed dead near Neptune during a mission. The mission was to get outside the Sun’s heliosphere to scan for potential alien transmissions from nearby solar systems.
But something went badly wrong, and now the earth (and potentially all human life migrating into the solar system) is at risk from massive electromagnetic bursts arising from Neptune. Is Clifford alive and involved in the emerging crisis? The authorities send Roy on a secret mission to Mars to try to communicate with his father.
Majestic cinematography
Let’s start with a real positive. The cinematography here is first rate. Hoyte Van-Hoytema – well known for “Interstellar“, “Spectre” and “Dunkirk” – knocks this out of the park. In the same manner as “Blade Runner 2049“, many of the frames of this film could be blown up and placed on art gallery walls around the world.
Add to that some cracking film editing from John Axelrad and Lee Haugen, and some beautiful sound design and I predict the movie should feature strongly in the technical awards at the Oscars.
But “science fiction” has the word “science” in it….
I’d like to park my physics brain sometimes when I go to the movies, but I just can’t. So I really need sci-fi films to live up to the science part of their name. There are a number of areas, particularly at the back end of the film, when credibility goes out the window.
I can’t really say more here without giving spoilers, so I will leave them to a “Spoiler section” below the trailer…. don’t read this if you haven’t seen the film!
What IS this movie trying to be?
In my view the film is pretty schizophrenic in nature. This is what confused me about the trailer, jumping from a cerebral sci-fi vibe to moon buggy shoot-outs.
On one hand, its the standard (but always interesting) tale of a child abandoned by a hero-father and his attempts to reconcile what that’s done to his life and relationships. How can he ever square that circle without contacting his dad? As the film’s tag-line goes “The answers we seek are just outside our reach”.
On the other there are episodes of action that would fit happily into an action scene from Star Trek.
The two elements never really gel, leading to the feeling of the film having been written as a set of disconnected pages and the writers then saying “Hey, Jimmy, once you’ve finished making us the tea, could you just write a few lines to join those pages up into a shooting script?”. Then later, “What do you mean Jimmy you used BOTH piles of paper?!”.
The greatest sin of all
Unfortunately, the film commits a cardinal sin in my book. Those of you who follow my blog regularly might know what I’m going to say….
Voiceovers! I BLOODY HATE THEM!! It’s at the very extreme of what the great Mark Kermode calls “show don’t tell”.
Here, we don’t just have a little Brad Pitt set-up intro and he then shuts up. He just drones on and on and on with his inner thoughts. At least Matt Damon in “The Martian” got away with it by cleverly filming his video blog. And it’s not as if there isn’t a prime opportunity to use that device here! He is constantly having to talk to a computer to do his regular psychological tests! But that option is not picked up.
BIG BLACK MARK!
But the film has its moments
Bubbling under all of this are some stand-out moments where, for me, the film soared. One of them (ultimately setting me up for as much of a disappointing fall as some of the characters!) is the stunning opening shots aboard the “Sky Antenna” structure. Impressive and exciting, with falling bits of metal playing Russian Roulette with Roy’s iife.
Another strength for me is Brad Pitt. I’ve seen wildly differing views on this, but for me its a quiet but strong acting performance. There are many scenes when he has no lines, his inner (and our outer) voice gives it a miss, and he acts the socks off his peers. What with “Once Upon A Time… In Hollywood” its been a really good year for Pitt. I suspect “Hollywood” might be the one though that gets him his fourth acting Oscar nomination.
For a 2019 film, it’s actually a very male-heavy film, made more so by Pitt’s love-interest (Liv Tyler) being given virtually nothing to do other that look a bit sulky from a distance. I’m not even sure she gets a single line in the whole film! (“Miss Tyler – please sign for your script”. “But, there’s nothing in the envelope?”. “Quite Miss Tyler, Quite”).
The only decent female role goes to Ruth Negga as the Mars colony leader. Even then, she only has limited screen time and although having the title “Mars CEO” really doesn’t seem to have much power.
Elsewhere, its great to see both Tommy Lee Jones and Donald Sutherland back on the big screen again.
Final Thoughts
As any veteran RAF person will know, “Ad Astra” is Latin for “To the stars”. In space terms this is less “to the stars” and more “just beyond your front door”.
James Gray‘s film undoubtedly has high ambitions but, through its spasmodic script, never really gets there. It has the beauty of “Gravity” but none of the refinement; there’s an essence of “Space Odyssey” in places, but it never goes for the mystical angle; it has the potential to reflect the near-insanity through loneliness of “Silent Running” but never commits fully to that storyline. But if its novelty you’re looking for, it ticks the “floating monkeys in space” box!
I think it’s worth seeing on the big screen just for its visual beauty and Pitt’s performance. And as a major block-buster sci-fi film I enjoyed it to a degree. But for me it had just so many irritations that it failed to live up to my high expectations. A great shame and a frustrating disappointment.
But at least it’s great news for Richard Branson and Virgin Atlantic shareholders. They can be assured that the future is bright for their “long distance” flights in the future!
I really love sci-fi films with high ambitions. “Psychological” sci-fi like “Solaris” for example. And “Arrival” topped my movie list for 2016. In similar vein, “Ad Astra” is also a movie concerning attempted contact with alien life. So I had high hopes for it. But would this Sci-fi epic ultimately challenge my brain again, or end up in the “Crystal Skull” sin bin with a dodgy alien meeting?
The Plot
Set a few years into the future, Roy McBride (Brad Pitt) is the son of a legend. H. Clifford McBride (Tommy Lee Jones) was a space exploration pioneer. His picture hangs in the NASA hall of fame next to Buzz Aldrin’s. McBride senior went missing presumed dead near Neptune during a mission. The mission was to get outside the Sun’s heliosphere to scan for potential alien transmissions from nearby solar systems.
But something went badly wrong, and now the earth (and potentially all human life migrating into the solar system) is at risk from massive electromagnetic bursts arising from Neptune. Is Clifford alive and involved in the emerging crisis? The authorities send Roy on a secret mission to Mars to try to communicate with his father.
Majestic cinematography
Let’s start with a real positive. The cinematography here is first rate. Hoyte Van-Hoytema – well known for “Interstellar“, “Spectre” and “Dunkirk” – knocks this out of the park. In the same manner as “Blade Runner 2049“, many of the frames of this film could be blown up and placed on art gallery walls around the world.
Add to that some cracking film editing from John Axelrad and Lee Haugen, and some beautiful sound design and I predict the movie should feature strongly in the technical awards at the Oscars.
But “science fiction” has the word “science” in it….
I’d like to park my physics brain sometimes when I go to the movies, but I just can’t. So I really need sci-fi films to live up to the science part of their name. There are a number of areas, particularly at the back end of the film, when credibility goes out the window.
I can’t really say more here without giving spoilers, so I will leave them to a “Spoiler section” below the trailer…. don’t read this if you haven’t seen the film!
What IS this movie trying to be?
In my view the film is pretty schizophrenic in nature. This is what confused me about the trailer, jumping from a cerebral sci-fi vibe to moon buggy shoot-outs.
On one hand, its the standard (but always interesting) tale of a child abandoned by a hero-father and his attempts to reconcile what that’s done to his life and relationships. How can he ever square that circle without contacting his dad? As the film’s tag-line goes “The answers we seek are just outside our reach”.
On the other there are episodes of action that would fit happily into an action scene from Star Trek.
The two elements never really gel, leading to the feeling of the film having been written as a set of disconnected pages and the writers then saying “Hey, Jimmy, once you’ve finished making us the tea, could you just write a few lines to join those pages up into a shooting script?”. Then later, “What do you mean Jimmy you used BOTH piles of paper?!”.
The greatest sin of all
Unfortunately, the film commits a cardinal sin in my book. Those of you who follow my blog regularly might know what I’m going to say….
Voiceovers! I BLOODY HATE THEM!! It’s at the very extreme of what the great Mark Kermode calls “show don’t tell”.
Here, we don’t just have a little Brad Pitt set-up intro and he then shuts up. He just drones on and on and on with his inner thoughts. At least Matt Damon in “The Martian” got away with it by cleverly filming his video blog. And it’s not as if there isn’t a prime opportunity to use that device here! He is constantly having to talk to a computer to do his regular psychological tests! But that option is not picked up.
BIG BLACK MARK!
But the film has its moments
Bubbling under all of this are some stand-out moments where, for me, the film soared. One of them (ultimately setting me up for as much of a disappointing fall as some of the characters!) is the stunning opening shots aboard the “Sky Antenna” structure. Impressive and exciting, with falling bits of metal playing Russian Roulette with Roy’s iife.
Another strength for me is Brad Pitt. I’ve seen wildly differing views on this, but for me its a quiet but strong acting performance. There are many scenes when he has no lines, his inner (and our outer) voice gives it a miss, and he acts the socks off his peers. What with “Once Upon A Time… In Hollywood” its been a really good year for Pitt. I suspect “Hollywood” might be the one though that gets him his fourth acting Oscar nomination.
For a 2019 film, it’s actually a very male-heavy film, made more so by Pitt’s love-interest (Liv Tyler) being given virtually nothing to do other that look a bit sulky from a distance. I’m not even sure she gets a single line in the whole film! (“Miss Tyler – please sign for your script”. “But, there’s nothing in the envelope?”. “Quite Miss Tyler, Quite”).
The only decent female role goes to Ruth Negga as the Mars colony leader. Even then, she only has limited screen time and although having the title “Mars CEO” really doesn’t seem to have much power.
Elsewhere, its great to see both Tommy Lee Jones and Donald Sutherland back on the big screen again.
Final Thoughts
As any veteran RAF person will know, “Ad Astra” is Latin for “To the stars”. In space terms this is less “to the stars” and more “just beyond your front door”.
James Gray‘s film undoubtedly has high ambitions but, through its spasmodic script, never really gets there. It has the beauty of “Gravity” but none of the refinement; there’s an essence of “Space Odyssey” in places, but it never goes for the mystical angle; it has the potential to reflect the near-insanity through loneliness of “Silent Running” but never commits fully to that storyline. But if its novelty you’re looking for, it ticks the “floating monkeys in space” box!
I think it’s worth seeing on the big screen just for its visual beauty and Pitt’s performance. And as a major block-buster sci-fi film I enjoyed it to a degree. But for me it had just so many irritations that it failed to live up to my high expectations. A great shame and a frustrating disappointment.
But at least it’s great news for Richard Branson and Virgin Atlantic shareholders. They can be assured that the future is bright for their “long distance” flights in the future!
Daniel Boyd (1066 KP) rated Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice (2016) in Movies
Jul 24, 2017
Batfleck (1 more)
It's every comic fan's childhood dream
Sloppy editing (2 more)
Bad performances
Poor script
A Whole Mess Of Awesome
Contains spoilers, click to show
Okay, if you are reading this I assume you have at least read a few other reviews of the movie, as it is all that anyone is talking about online at the minute, so what is left to say I hear you ask? Well first off I’ll give you some context, for the last three years I have been reading and collecting comics to an obsessive level and it is due to this movie. I have always been a superhero fan (especially Batman,) and I had read some comics in the past, but when this movie was announced at San Diego Comic-Con in 2013, (3 years ago!!) I was so hyped and I decided that I had to read the comic that this film was taking inspiration from. So I went to my local A1 Comics and bought The Dark Knight Returns, which underwhelmed me but that’s another story. Since then I have become a huge comic book fan and that is thanks to this movie. Seriously what was not to like here, it would have been so difficult to get this wrong, it’s Batman fighting Superman, how amazing is it that this actually happened? And yet they still managed to fuck it up…
Do you read? You will. And then realise how superior the comic that this is based on is to the actual movie itself, (and I’m not even a massive fan of the comic.)
I saw 10 Cloverfield Lane last week and while that movie wasn’t perfect, what made that a great movie is exactly what makes BvS a subpar movie. 10CL had a small team of people working on a restrictive budget, so every aspect of the movie was scrutinised and perfected to make up the end product and that attention to detail really paid off. BvS had a huge budget and a massive team of people working on it and I think that is what gives the movie it’s unfocused and sloppy feel. The script is a mess, there are clearly scenes cut, the editing is jarring, not all of the performances were up to scratch and while the imagery and visuals are incredible, the best way to describe this movie is all style and no substance. I like Zack Snyder, I love his Watchmen movie, I like 300 and I enjoyed Man of Steel, but I can’t help but feel that this is his fault. His decision to make years of comic book stories into one two and a half hour movie honestly baffles me. The events of this movie should have taken place over at least three movies, which I will discuss more in the spoiler section of this review, so stick around for that if you have seen the movie already. This movie really is all over the place and the pace and tone are random at best and if you have seen the trailers then you have essentially seen the movie. Let’s talk about the best part of the movie, which is quite easily Ben Affleck’s Batman and Jeremy Irons’ Alfred. Seeing the two characters and their chemistry are worth the ticket price of the film alone. This is probably the most faithful to the source material Batman that we have had on the big screen to date, except for one pretty major change. Batman in DoJ is pretty much Punisher in a cowl. During the Batmobile chase (which was really fucking awesome by the way,) he questionably kills some goons. I mean, some of them could have survived like, if they had Wolverine’s healing powers I guess? But then there is that badass warehouse scene that we see in the trailers and during that he near enough shoots some guys himself. If you can get over this and see this as an alternate version of Batman you should be able to appreciate Affleck’s performance though, which by the way is amazing, he knocks it out of the park. I would have liked some kind of reference to it, even a scene where he discusses breaking his code with Alfred, just a few lines would have made me get on board with this version of the character a lot quicker. Critics have been calling Henry Cavil’s Superman performance wooden, but I think that is too harsh, he is perfectly serviceable but he isn’t going to be praised for his memorable performance either. Gal Gadot as Wonder Woman is badass, my only complaint is that she isn’t in the movie enough as Wonder Woman. Jesse Eisenberg is the stand out worst performance in the movie. It isn’t necessarily a bad performance, it just does not fit that character at all. He was truly miscast here, if they had cast him as Riddler in the Batman solo movie and he put in this performance I would be praising him like mad. Lex Luthor shouldn’t be crazy on a surface level, he should be a respectable businessman and an intellectual force to be reckoned with and he will go out of his way to ensure that this is what everyone sees him as, it is only ever the people closest to him that that he allows to see him crack. He certainly shouldn’t be making strange noises and gestures like someone with OCD or a mental issue. Also Doomsday is silly and is just shoehorned in at the end for the sake of giving the trinity and enemy to battle against.
Do you pee? You will. After sitting though near three hours of this garbage.
So to give my overall opinion before I get into spoilers, I will say that I enjoyed this movie better than Man of Steel, but only slightly and I dislike it for a lot of the same reasons. Just like Man of Steel there are parts of this movie that I adored and parts that I hated. Mixed emotions is an understatement. In my mind any movie above a 7 is a great movie and unfortunately I can’t call this a great movie. I fully believe that everyone should see this movie and form their own opinion, especially since reactions have been so mixed, but I felt that it simply didn’t live up to the hype that it set for itself and I feel like Zack Snyder may be doing more harm than good setting up the DCU. 6.5/10.
Do you see? You will. Or at least you better have seen it by now because I am about to spoil the shit out of the whole movie.
Like I said earlier, the events of the movie really should have been split across several movies and explored more rather than rushed through at a breakneck speed. We should have had a whole movie on Batman V Superman, the conflict ideals between them and the discussion of whether or not this world needs a Superman. Then we should have had a movie just based on the dawn of the justice league, with Batman and Superman eventually understanding each other and becoming friends and with way more scenes with Wonder Woman and a proper introduction to the other characters rather than the literal plot device USB stick we got in BvS. Then we should have had a few Justice League movies and once Superman was an established character within the universe, they should have killed him off then and did the Death and Return of Superman story, not in this one where Batman and Wonder Woman hardly know him and the public still don’t know whether he is good or bad. Also if Batman kills now, what reason is there for the Joker to still be alive? The whole point of their relationship is that Batman won’t kill Joker because of his code and Joker won’t kill Batman because he loves fighting him, but if Batman has no code and he has been Batman for years then he really should have killed Joker a long time ago. I did enjoy Batfleck and I am very much looking forward to his solo Batman movie, but BvS is rushed and sloppy. So I’ve said my piece, now let the fanboy hate commence.
Do you read? You will. And then realise how superior the comic that this is based on is to the actual movie itself, (and I’m not even a massive fan of the comic.)
I saw 10 Cloverfield Lane last week and while that movie wasn’t perfect, what made that a great movie is exactly what makes BvS a subpar movie. 10CL had a small team of people working on a restrictive budget, so every aspect of the movie was scrutinised and perfected to make up the end product and that attention to detail really paid off. BvS had a huge budget and a massive team of people working on it and I think that is what gives the movie it’s unfocused and sloppy feel. The script is a mess, there are clearly scenes cut, the editing is jarring, not all of the performances were up to scratch and while the imagery and visuals are incredible, the best way to describe this movie is all style and no substance. I like Zack Snyder, I love his Watchmen movie, I like 300 and I enjoyed Man of Steel, but I can’t help but feel that this is his fault. His decision to make years of comic book stories into one two and a half hour movie honestly baffles me. The events of this movie should have taken place over at least three movies, which I will discuss more in the spoiler section of this review, so stick around for that if you have seen the movie already. This movie really is all over the place and the pace and tone are random at best and if you have seen the trailers then you have essentially seen the movie. Let’s talk about the best part of the movie, which is quite easily Ben Affleck’s Batman and Jeremy Irons’ Alfred. Seeing the two characters and their chemistry are worth the ticket price of the film alone. This is probably the most faithful to the source material Batman that we have had on the big screen to date, except for one pretty major change. Batman in DoJ is pretty much Punisher in a cowl. During the Batmobile chase (which was really fucking awesome by the way,) he questionably kills some goons. I mean, some of them could have survived like, if they had Wolverine’s healing powers I guess? But then there is that badass warehouse scene that we see in the trailers and during that he near enough shoots some guys himself. If you can get over this and see this as an alternate version of Batman you should be able to appreciate Affleck’s performance though, which by the way is amazing, he knocks it out of the park. I would have liked some kind of reference to it, even a scene where he discusses breaking his code with Alfred, just a few lines would have made me get on board with this version of the character a lot quicker. Critics have been calling Henry Cavil’s Superman performance wooden, but I think that is too harsh, he is perfectly serviceable but he isn’t going to be praised for his memorable performance either. Gal Gadot as Wonder Woman is badass, my only complaint is that she isn’t in the movie enough as Wonder Woman. Jesse Eisenberg is the stand out worst performance in the movie. It isn’t necessarily a bad performance, it just does not fit that character at all. He was truly miscast here, if they had cast him as Riddler in the Batman solo movie and he put in this performance I would be praising him like mad. Lex Luthor shouldn’t be crazy on a surface level, he should be a respectable businessman and an intellectual force to be reckoned with and he will go out of his way to ensure that this is what everyone sees him as, it is only ever the people closest to him that that he allows to see him crack. He certainly shouldn’t be making strange noises and gestures like someone with OCD or a mental issue. Also Doomsday is silly and is just shoehorned in at the end for the sake of giving the trinity and enemy to battle against.
Do you pee? You will. After sitting though near three hours of this garbage.
So to give my overall opinion before I get into spoilers, I will say that I enjoyed this movie better than Man of Steel, but only slightly and I dislike it for a lot of the same reasons. Just like Man of Steel there are parts of this movie that I adored and parts that I hated. Mixed emotions is an understatement. In my mind any movie above a 7 is a great movie and unfortunately I can’t call this a great movie. I fully believe that everyone should see this movie and form their own opinion, especially since reactions have been so mixed, but I felt that it simply didn’t live up to the hype that it set for itself and I feel like Zack Snyder may be doing more harm than good setting up the DCU. 6.5/10.
Do you see? You will. Or at least you better have seen it by now because I am about to spoil the shit out of the whole movie.
Like I said earlier, the events of the movie really should have been split across several movies and explored more rather than rushed through at a breakneck speed. We should have had a whole movie on Batman V Superman, the conflict ideals between them and the discussion of whether or not this world needs a Superman. Then we should have had a movie just based on the dawn of the justice league, with Batman and Superman eventually understanding each other and becoming friends and with way more scenes with Wonder Woman and a proper introduction to the other characters rather than the literal plot device USB stick we got in BvS. Then we should have had a few Justice League movies and once Superman was an established character within the universe, they should have killed him off then and did the Death and Return of Superman story, not in this one where Batman and Wonder Woman hardly know him and the public still don’t know whether he is good or bad. Also if Batman kills now, what reason is there for the Joker to still be alive? The whole point of their relationship is that Batman won’t kill Joker because of his code and Joker won’t kill Batman because he loves fighting him, but if Batman has no code and he has been Batman for years then he really should have killed Joker a long time ago. I did enjoy Batfleck and I am very much looking forward to his solo Batman movie, but BvS is rushed and sloppy. So I’ve said my piece, now let the fanboy hate commence.