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Sir Apropos of Nothing
Sir Apropos of Nothing
Peter David | 2001 | Science Fiction/Fantasy
10
10.0 (1 Ratings)
Book Rating
Shelf Life – Sir Apropos of Nothing Skewers the Hero’s Journey
Contains spoilers, click to show
Fantasy and satire are two of my favorite genres in any medium, but especially so in books. Satirical fantasy, then, holds a special place on my shelves. I grew up on Sir Terry Pratchett’s Discworld series, and desire to imitate him and his style is what led me in middle school to begin writing in earnest, for fun, and for myself rather than just for my teachers and their assignments.

So when I picked up Sir Apropos of Nothing, I did so based on the title pun and the back-of-the-book synopsis that promised “a berserk phoenix, murderous unicorns, mutated harpies, homicidal warrior kings, and – most problematic of all – a princess who may or may not be a psychotic arsonist.” I expected another lighthearted riff on the familiar archetypes. Murderous unicorns? Unicorns are not typically described as such! Oh teehee, how unexpectedly humorous!

Sir Apropos of Nothing is a satirical fantasy, just like it promised, though at times it’s hard to tell how much of the story is played for laughs and how much is played straight. See, the thing about satire that’s easy to forget at times is that it’s not synonymous with buffoonery. Make no mistake – Apropos is a funny book, full of witty dialogue and groan-inducing puns. It’s a book that takes great delight in lampshading traditional fantasy tropes and archetypes, as well as the entirety of Joseph Campbell’s Hero’s Journey idea. But it is not always a silly lampshade; sometimes a cliche or trope is pointed out to have its inherit ridiculousness laughed at, and sometimes it is pointed out because it is causing real and lasting pain or damage, either to the society in which it is set or, more often, to the titular Apropos himself and his ever-degrading esteem of both the people around him and himself.

The tone, at first, is hard to pin down. The story starts in media res with the main character being caught by a knight while in mid-coitus with that knight’s wife and escalates from there. The second chapter opens with a fourth wall-breaking narrative admission by Apropos himself that this was done with the express purpose of catching your attention, and now we’re going back to cover Apropos’s childhood, which ends up being equal parts dark, tragic, punny, and conveniently trope-filled – all of which Apropos, as narrator, approaches with the same resigned, blasé outlook.

If this sounds a bit jarring, well, it kind of is. Early on, I wasn’t sure what to think of where the story was trying to go or what I was expected to feel about it. After the first turn from cliché to dark and visceral to light and punny, all within a few pages, I caught myself thinking, “Crap, is this book gonna try and mix goofy jokes with serious drama and thoughtful moral quandary?”

The answer is yes. And it pulls it off fantastically.

This is due in large part to the interesting depths of the antihero, Apropos, who seems to be so named purely for the joke in the title. In Apropos we see a deep sense of justice and rightness that is entirely eclipsed by an even deeper cynicism and an unshakeable instinct for self-preservation. His life is objectively terrible, but rather than brood and lament, he adjusts. He keeps his head down when he can, weathers abuse when he can’t, and learns to deal with the constant shit storm, all the while bottling his growing anger and resentment at a world that would allow such amounts of suffering and hypocrisy to go unchecked. The fact that he himself becomes a selfish, hypocritical, and generally awful person is not lost on him, and the result is a flawed, unheroic, pathetic coward of a protagonist, a magnificently multifaceted bastard who doesn’t spare even himself from his vast and withering contempt.

And it’s a blast. It really is. Apropos is refreshingly pragmatic and unabashedly pessimistic, a welcome change from the typical righteous-yet-humble heroes of traditional fantasy, or even the loveable and untalented everyman in over his head of traditional fantasy spoofs. Despite a portentous birthmark (on his ass, no less) and beginnings that are not “humble” so much as “poverty of the dirtiest kind,” Apropos is everything a hero should not be short of outright evil.

And this, as it turns out, is entirely the point. This is where the satire, funny or otherwise, really shines through. This is the crux that elevates Sir Apropos of Nothing from a generically self-aware fantasy story to an original and memorable subversion of storytelling as a whole.

Without giving too much away, there comes a point in the plot where Apropos realizes that the events surrounding his miserable life are part of a heroic tale that has been preordained by Fate and is now being epically written out by Destiny. And despite his birthmark, his tragic past, and his mother’s constant reassurances that he has some sort of great destiny hovering over him, he is not the hero. He is only a minor character. A walk-on role on the hero’s stage. A brief pit-stop along the hero’s journey. An NPC whose dreams, desires, and continued existence are so far below importance to the story as to be utterly negligible.

And once this finally clicks with him, he violently, brazenly rebels against it. He gives an emphatic middle finger to Fate’s ideas and sets about making Destiny sit up and take notice of him again. He momentarily and violently overcomes his own abject cowardice just long enough to find a way to completely wreck the traditional heroic ballad in which he lives, all on the basis that, dammit, the world owes him more than this, and nobody should be so miserably cursed as to live their entire life as a foil character.

At this point in my own reading, I didn’t know whether to cheer him on or worry about the repercussions of his actions, because he doesn’t suddenly become heroic when this happens. He’s exactly as much of a selfish, lying bastard as before, and however bad you feel for him, you can completely understand why he was never cast for this role in the first place. Add to this the complete disregard of the author for following what seems to be the obvious progression of events in favor of twists that take you completely by surprise, but still make complete sense and arise organically from the story itself, and you eventually give up thinking that you have any sense of where the story’s going or how any event is going to play out. From beginning to end, it feeds you familiar ideas and then completely subverts them, introduces clichés and then proceeds to tear them apart, and you laugh and pity and feel something the entire way through.

In short, Sir Apropos of Nothing is a book that will keep you turning page after page – not necessarily because of the gripping drama (although it has that) or because of any breezy humor (although it has that too), or because the narration itself oozes suspense (although it often does), but because, with the rapid infusion of new and creative ideas and the hidden depths of character constantly bubbling to the surface in everyone involved, you honestly never know what’s going to happen next. If you like fantasy and can stand to have your expectations messed with, Apropos is certainly apropos.
  
A Court of Mist and Fury
A Court of Mist and Fury
Sarah J. Maas | 2016 | Young Adult (YA)
10
9.3 (53 Ratings)
Book Rating
Wow. Just wow. There are going to be spoilers in this review, so read at your own peril.

I have actually read this book three times cover to cover since I got it. You could say that I love it, just a bit.

I absolutely adored the character developments. Yes, they were heartbreaking at times (I'm looking at you Feyre), but they were so necessary to be able to move the story along. At first, I was kind of upset that we didn't get all of the mushy romance between Tamlin and Feyre, especially not seeing their engagement, but it all turned around from there. I loved being able to see Feyre struggling with her new body as well as her new mental state. I appreciate Sarah J Maas because she isn't sugar coating the trauma these characters went through. We are living in their heads, so we should expect to see the consequences of what happened Under the Mountain.

That being said, my initial ship of Tamlin and Feyre completely sunk at page 120. I was starting to dislike Tamlin since the beginning of the book since he was so overprotective and he was basically smothering Feyre, but I didn't start to hate him until he locked her up. The literal hate fire that was ebbing off of me while I was reading that was just too much. He disregarded her as being a person who had hopes and dreams and flaws just to make himself feel better about himself.

But now, I am totally team Rhysand!!!! Oh my god, actual knight in shining armor right here. I think he has gone through an amazing character arc as well. In the first book, he was more the arrogant, cocky asshole who seemed to only do things for himself, but in this book, he has become a real person. I loved being able to see his soft side whenever he is around his Inner Circle. His happiness around them is almost infectious! And then him around Feyre is just the cutest thing in the world. I just can't with him. He loves her to a point where he would be willing to make himself suffer to see her happy, which is something Tamlin I don't think would ever do. And then the tension between him and Feyre, holy cow. I loved those scenes. (Especially the more blush worthy scenes, those make me really happy [The Court of Nightmares, the Inn, the Cabin, Starfall, etc.]). It was amazing to see how they complimented each other and actually worked together to make things better. His power is phenomenal and I would not want that going against me, ever.

I really enjoyed how both Rhysand and Feyre have moments where they have to use each other to get out of their nightmares. That is the kind of relationship she needs, someone who helps her deal with her issues while also needing the same help for himself. Being able to see the parallels between the two moments was really cool.

Ugh, and Feyre not being able to paint for the majority of the book was heartbreaking. I loved how it was Rhys who was the one to get her to paint again.

The Inner Circle makes me laugh whenever they are in a scene.

Cassian is adorable. I think he would be like a Labrador puppy just following them around, but being able to get very protective when he needs to be. When he trains Feyre and she breaks down, that broke my heart. Here was a guy who didn't really know her very well, but was willing to stand up for her in ways that Tamlin and Lucien would do. Plus, him and Nesta are going to be a thing, I just know it.

Amren is not someone I would want to get on my bad side. She is intense in all of her feelings, loyalty included. She would kill for any of her friends and would never feel bad about it. I loved how much she stood up for Feyre, even when Feyre didn't really notice her being that kind. I want to know how much power this girl holds, though.

Mor is my spirit animal. She keeps getting up whenever she is kicked down. She stands tall against her family and I appreciate that. And on top of it all, she is still able to smile and be an overall amazing person. Yes, she has made mistakes in the past, but she is living with them and dealing. I want her and Azriel to just be together all ready!! Her moments with Feyre are really sweet because she is constantly reaffirming the feelings without making Feyre feel bad about any of it.

Azriel is intimidating as hell. He honestly terrifies me, but he is still so sweet. Sarah, why do you keep making such amazing characters?!?!?

I love Velaris. I want to live there forever. It was described so beautifully that it was easy to see exactly what they were seeing.

The story line move along very well. I loved how the plot developed. I honestly have no complaints about this book at all.

Like I said, I thought it was necessary for the story to start where it did, especially with the bad relations between her and Tamlin. The wedding was important too because it showed how much she had changed, how much she didn't want to be in that relationship any longer. When Rhys showed up, he was her savior, but she didn't know it at the time. She didn't know that they had more of a connection than she thought. I don't like what Tamlin and Lucien forced her to do. They didn't think about any of her issues with anything they may have done--especially forcing her to spy for them on Rhys, the only person besides Alys who cares about her well being.

Her learning how to read was just like I thought it would be. Rhys' sentences he made her copy were adorably brilliant.

I honestly think my favorite part of this novel would have to be a tie between Starfall, the Court of Nightmares, and the cabin in the woods. Each of these scenes were, in their own right, moments where Feyre finally let herself be happy, let herself feel more than despair and hatred for what she had done. You can feel a shift in her in each of these moments as well.

I think the major plot movements went very well. Starting with Feyre having to prove to herself that she wasn't a porcelain doll to be able to use her powers to be able to go against the King of Hybern. All of it was connected and based on what she had previously gone through. Even the relationships had to be fleshed out enough in the beginning to get to the ending in a realistic and understandable way.

And OH MY GOD MATING BOND!!!!!!!!!! So freaking great. I loved being able to see it in action. ;D

If you liked A Court of Thorns and Roses, you are going to like this one even more. The story is much more fleshed out and the characters feel more realistic.

Overall, I think I am going to be reading this book over and over again for the foreseeable future!! (Also, can someone get me a Rhys? I need one. Now.)

I honestly cannot stop reading this book. As of 22 Mar 2018, I have read it about 10 times
  
A Court of Mist and Fury
A Court of Mist and Fury
Sarah J. Maas | 2016 | Young Adult (YA)
10
9.3 (53 Ratings)
Book Rating
Wow. Just wow. There are going to be spoilers in this review, so read at your own peril.

I have actually read this book three times cover to cover since I got it. You could say that I love it, just a bit.

I absolutely adored the character developments. Yes, they were heartbreaking at times (I'm looking at you Feyre), but they were so necessary to be able to move the story along. At first, I was kind of upset that we didn't get all of the mushy romance between Tamlin and Feyre, especially not seeing their engagement, but it all turned around from there. I loved being able to see Feyre struggling with her new body as well as her new mental state. I appreciate Sarah J Maas because she isn't sugar coating the trauma these characters went through. We are living in their heads, so we should expect to see the consequences of what happened Under the Mountain.

That being said, my initial ship of Tamlin and Feyre completely sunk at page 120. I was starting to dislike Tamlin since the beginning of the book since he was so overprotective and he was basically smothering Feyre, but I didn't start to hate him until he locked her up. The literal hate fire that was ebbing off of me while I was reading that was just too much. He disregarded her as being a person who had hopes and dreams and flaws just to make himself feel better about himself.

But now, I am totally team Rhysand!!!! Oh my god, actual knight in shining armor right here. I think he has gone through an amazing character arc as well. In the first book, he was more the arrogant, cocky asshole who seemed to only do things for himself, but in this book, he has become a real person. I loved being able to see his soft side whenever he is around his Inner Circle. His happiness around them is almost infectious! And then him around Feyre is just the cutest thing in the world. I just can't with him. He loves her to a point where he would be willing to make himself suffer to see her happy, which is something Tamlin I don't think would ever do. And then the tension between him and Feyre, holy cow. I loved those scenes. (Especially the more blush worthy scenes, those make me really happy [The Court of Nightmares, the Inn, the Cabin, Starfall, etc.]). It was amazing to see how they complimented each other and actually worked together to make things better. His power is phenomenal and I would not want that going against me, ever.

I really enjoyed how both Rhysand and Feyre have moments where they have to use each other to get out of their nightmares. That is the kind of relationship she needs, someone who helps her deal with her issues while also needing the same help for himself. Being able to see the parallels between the two moments was really cool.

Ugh, and Feyre not being able to paint for the majority of the book was heartbreaking. I loved how it was Rhys who was the one to get her to paint again.

The Inner Circle makes me laugh whenever they are in a scene.

Cassian is adorable. I think he would be like a Labrador puppy just following them around, but being able to get very protective when he needs to be. When he trains Feyre and she breaks down, that broke my heart. Here was a guy who didn't really know her very well, but was willing to stand up for her in ways that Tamlin and Lucien would do. Plus, him and Nesta are going to be a thing, I just know it.

Amren is not someone I would want to get on my bad side. She is intense in all of her feelings, loyalty included. She would kill for any of her friends and would never feel bad about it. I loved how much she stood up for Feyre, even when Feyre didn't really notice her being that kind. I want to know how much power this girl holds, though.

Mor is my spirit animal. She keeps getting up whenever she is kicked down. She stands tall against her family and I appreciate that. And on top of it all, she is still able to smile and be an overall amazing person. Yes, she has made mistakes in the past, but she is living with them and dealing. I want her and Azriel to just be together all ready!! Her moments with Feyre are really sweet because she is constantly reaffirming the feelings without making Feyre feel bad about any of it.

Azriel is intimidating as hell. He honestly terrifies me, but he is still so sweet. Sarah, why do you keep making such amazing characters?!?!?

I love Velaris. I want to live there forever. It was described so beautifully that it was easy to see exactly what they were seeing.

The story line move along very well. I loved how the plot developed. I honestly have no complaints about this book at all.

Like I said, I thought it was necessary for the story to start where it did, especially with the bad relations between her and Tamlin. The wedding was important too because it showed how much she had changed, how much she didn't want to be in that relationship any longer. When Rhys showed up, he was her savior, but she didn't know it at the time. She didn't know that they had more of a connection than she thought. I don't like what Tamlin and Lucien forced her to do. They didn't think about any of her issues with anything they may have done--especially forcing her to spy for them on Rhys, the only person besides Alys who cares about her well being.

Her learning how to read was just like I thought it would be. Rhys' sentences he made her copy were adorably brilliant.

I honestly think my favorite part of this novel would have to be a tie between Starfall, the Court of Nightmares, and the cabin in the woods. Each of these scenes were, in their own right, moments where Feyre finally let herself be happy, let herself feel more than despair and hatred for what she had done. You can feel a shift in her in each of these moments as well.

I think the major plot movements went very well. Starting with Feyre having to prove to herself that she wasn't a porcelain doll to be able to use her powers to be able to go against the King of Hybern. All of it was connected and based on what she had previously gone through. Even the relationships had to be fleshed out enough in the beginning to get to the ending in a realistic and understandable way.

And OH MY GOD MATING BOND!!!!!!!!!! So freaking great. I loved being able to see it in action. ;D

If you liked A Court of Thorns and Roses, you are going to like this one even more. The story is much more fleshed out and the characters feel more realistic.

Overall, I think I am going to be reading this book over and over again for the foreseeable future!! (Also, can someone get me a Rhys? I need one. Now.)

I honestly cannot stop reading this book. As of 16 May 2016, I have read it 4 times.
  
Trogdor!!: The Board Game
Trogdor!!: The Board Game
2019 | Adventure, Miniatures, Puzzle
I cannot possible explain to you how many hours of my college career were spent LMBO at the homestarrunner.com website. Teen Girl Squad. Strong Bad E-mails. The incredible Halloween episodes. If you know what I’m talking about, I hope you enjoyed some sense of beautiful nostalgia just now. So when I saw that someone was making a board game based on a secondary (or a thirdedary) character from one of my favorite websites from my not-so-youth I knew it would be mine someday. That day has come and I am here to report my thoughts on Trogdor!! The Board Game.

Trogdor!! The Board Game, which I’m just gonna start calling Trogdor!!, is a cooperative area burninating puzzle adventure game for only the coolest of the cool. The twist on this game, if you are unfamiliar with Trogdor or Homsar, is that the players are all essentially cultists who assist Trogdor to burninate the countryside, all the cottages, and chomp the peasants or send them to the Void.

DISCLAIMER: Though this was Kickstarted, I did not splurge on the deluxe version, so I have the meepled version and it does just fine. Furthermore, I do not intend to cover every single rule included in the rule book, but will describe the overall game flow and major rule set so that our readers may get a sense of how the game plays. For more in depth rules, you may purchase a copy from the publisher directly or from your FLGS. -T

To setup the game (and I found this part tedious) lay out the countryside tiles according to one of the suggested layouts in the back of the rule book or simply wherever you want in a 5×5 grid. This is your game board now. Also place out the thatched-roof cottages, peasants, knights, and archers. Trogdor starts the game in the middle tile, prepped for his burnination run. Each player also receives a Keeper of Trogdor persona card that provides special abilities, an item card that can be used during play, and an action card that determines how many action points a player may use as well as possibly special abilities to use for the turn. Troghammer starts the game on the Trog-meter, ready to come onto the board to wreak hammery havoc on our hero.

A turn consists of two phases. The first phase has the current player drawing an action card which intimates the number of action points (AP) the player can use for actions: Move Trogdor one space orthogonally, Chomp a peasant to increase health, Burninate a tile/cottage/peasant, Burrow into a tunnel and pop out the other side, or Hide in the mountains. Movement is easy: move Trogdor one space per AP you’d like to spend. Chomping requires Trogdor to be on the same tile as a peasant, but then you can chow down on them to increase our deity’s health bar. Burninating also requires Trogdor to be on the same tile as the tile/cottage/peasant you want to burninate. The Lake tile has special burninating rules, as do thatched-roof cottages. I will also allow you to learn about burninating peasants on your own, as it is pretty amazing. Burrowing requires Trogdor to be on a tunnel tile and spend an AP to teleport to the other tunnel (a la Small World). Trogdor may also simply Hide on a mountain tile to be protected from the attackers that act during the next phase. If players to not like either the action card they were dealt or the card they drew, they may simply discard a card to take their turn with 5 AP and no special abilities.

The next phase is where the board elements do their thang. The active player will draw and play a movement card. From instructions on this card the board may spawn more peasants, will move the peasants, will move the knights and also archers. Peasants do not fight Trogdor, but they can possibly repair burninated tiles. Knights WILL hurt Trogdor whenever they pass through or end their turn on the same tile as Trogdor. Knights will also automatically repair any burninated thatched-roof cottages they pass through. Troghammer is a special knight who only comes into play once Trogdor is hurt the first time. Archers will attack an entire column or row depending on which direction they were traveling when they ended their movement. If Trogdor still has peasants on the Trog-meter (representing health), then the next player takes their turn. If Trogdor has no more health and he is hit again, he enters a fiery RAGE! I will let you discover what happens during this event also.

The players win when all the tiles, cottages, and peasants have been burninated or eliminated from the board. They lose when Trogdor is defeated and they have not completed their victory conditions.

Components. It’s always so hard to really know exactly what you will be receiving when you Kickstart a game. Especially from a company not known for board games, and which has never produced a board game. So, I was anticipating something entirely different as I was opening my box. This is what I received: excellent tiles with UV spot on each side (super fancy!). I usually don’t care about UV spot anywhere on my game, but that seems to be en vogue now, so I’ll just try to enjoy it when I can. The other cardboard bits are great too. The cards are of great quality, but I went ahead and sleeved the action and movement cards since I knew they would be handled quite a bit. The Trogeeples (jeez) all are of great quality, and I really appreciate the additional Trogdor meeples included. I had a big chuckle about that. The artwork is comical (like in a comic) and I also appreciated all the Strong Bad enhancements as well. The only negative I have about the components of the game is the ridiculous thin box of air that was included as a buffer near the insert. I threw it out, put my sleeved action and movement cards in a plastic deck box in its place and now I’m much happier.

Overall, I had such a blast playing this game. Is it mostly due to nostalgia and reverie? Perhaps. But, Bryan was playing this with us and he didn’t know anything about Trogdor or Homestar Runner. He also really enjoyed the game, so I think the level of familiarity doesn’t matter. Obviously I did not explain EVERY rule to the game, but hopefully by my quick description my readers get a good idea of how the game plays. I can honestly say that I love love love this game and will treasure it always. If/when I see this at my FLGS I may just buy up all the copies to give as gifts. It’s really good. That’s why Purple Phoenix Games give this one an MSG’d 15 / 18. Oh, and you’re welcome for my holding back of all the quotes I COULD HAVE put in this review. I could have really earned my nerd card renewal.
  
Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice (2016)
Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice (2016)
2016 | Action, Sci-Fi
Batfleck (1 more)
It's every comic fan's childhood dream
Sloppy editing (2 more)
Bad performances
Poor script
A Whole Mess Of Awesome
Contains spoilers, click to show
Okay, if you are reading this I assume you have at least read a few other reviews of the movie, as it is all that anyone is talking about online at the minute, so what is left to say I hear you ask? Well first off I’ll give you some context, for the last three years I have been reading and collecting comics to an obsessive level and it is due to this movie. I have always been a superhero fan (especially Batman,) and I had read some comics in the past, but when this movie was announced at San Diego Comic-Con in 2013, (3 years ago!!) I was so hyped and I decided that I had to read the comic that this film was taking inspiration from. So I went to my local A1 Comics and bought The Dark Knight Returns, which underwhelmed me but that’s another story. Since then I have become a huge comic book fan and that is thanks to this movie. Seriously what was not to like here, it would have been so difficult to get this wrong, it’s Batman fighting Superman, how amazing is it that this actually happened? And yet they still managed to fuck it up…

Do you read? You will. And then realise how superior the comic that this is based on is to the actual movie itself, (and I’m not even a massive fan of the comic.)

I saw 10 Cloverfield Lane last week and while that movie wasn’t perfect, what made that a great movie is exactly what makes BvS a subpar movie. 10CL had a small team of people working on a restrictive budget, so every aspect of the movie was scrutinised and perfected to make up the end product and that attention to detail really paid off. BvS had a huge budget and a massive team of people working on it and I think that is what gives the movie it’s unfocused and sloppy feel. The script is a mess, there are clearly scenes cut, the editing is jarring, not all of the performances were up to scratch and while the imagery and visuals are incredible, the best way to describe this movie is all style and no substance. I like Zack Snyder, I love his Watchmen movie, I like 300 and I enjoyed Man of Steel, but I can’t help but feel that this is his fault. His decision to make years of comic book stories into one two and a half hour movie honestly baffles me. The events of this movie should have taken place over at least three movies, which I will discuss more in the spoiler section of this review, so stick around for that if you have seen the movie already. This movie really is all over the place and the pace and tone are random at best and if you have seen the trailers then you have essentially seen the movie. Let’s talk about the best part of the movie, which is quite easily Ben Affleck’s Batman and Jeremy Irons’ Alfred. Seeing the two characters and their chemistry are worth the ticket price of the film alone. This is probably the most faithful to the source material Batman that we have had on the big screen to date, except for one pretty major change. Batman in DoJ is pretty much Punisher in a cowl. During the Batmobile chase (which was really fucking awesome by the way,) he questionably kills some goons. I mean, some of them could have survived like, if they had Wolverine’s healing powers I guess? But then there is that badass warehouse scene that we see in the trailers and during that he near enough shoots some guys himself. If you can get over this and see this as an alternate version of Batman you should be able to appreciate Affleck’s performance though, which by the way is amazing, he knocks it out of the park. I would have liked some kind of reference to it, even a scene where he discusses breaking his code with Alfred, just a few lines would have made me get on board with this version of the character a lot quicker. Critics have been calling Henry Cavil’s Superman performance wooden, but I think that is too harsh, he is perfectly serviceable but he isn’t going to be praised for his memorable performance either. Gal Gadot as Wonder Woman is badass, my only complaint is that she isn’t in the movie enough as Wonder Woman. Jesse Eisenberg is the stand out worst performance in the movie. It isn’t necessarily a bad performance, it just does not fit that character at all. He was truly miscast here, if they had cast him as Riddler in the Batman solo movie and he put in this performance I would be praising him like mad. Lex Luthor shouldn’t be crazy on a surface level, he should be a respectable businessman and an intellectual force to be reckoned with and he will go out of his way to ensure that this is what everyone sees him as, it is only ever the people closest to him that that he allows to see him crack. He certainly shouldn’t be making strange noises and gestures like someone with OCD or a mental issue. Also Doomsday is silly and is just shoehorned in at the end for the sake of giving the trinity and enemy to battle against.

Do you pee? You will. After sitting though near three hours of this garbage.

So to give my overall opinion before I get into spoilers, I will say that I enjoyed this movie better than Man of Steel, but only slightly and I dislike it for a lot of the same reasons. Just like Man of Steel there are parts of this movie that I adored and parts that I hated. Mixed emotions is an understatement. In my mind any movie above a 7 is a great movie and unfortunately I can’t call this a great movie. I fully believe that everyone should see this movie and form their own opinion, especially since reactions have been so mixed, but I felt that it simply didn’t live up to the hype that it set for itself and I feel like Zack Snyder may be doing more harm than good setting up the DCU. 6.5/10.

Do you see? You will. Or at least you better have seen it by now because I am about to spoil the shit out of the whole movie.

Like I said earlier, the events of the movie really should have been split across several movies and explored more rather than rushed through at a breakneck speed. We should have had a whole movie on Batman V Superman, the conflict ideals between them and the discussion of whether or not this world needs a Superman. Then we should have had a movie just based on the dawn of the justice league, with Batman and Superman eventually understanding each other and becoming friends and with way more scenes with Wonder Woman and a proper introduction to the other characters rather than the literal plot device USB stick we got in BvS. Then we should have had a few Justice League movies and once Superman was an established character within the universe, they should have killed him off then and did the Death and Return of Superman story, not in this one where Batman and Wonder Woman hardly know him and the public still don’t know whether he is good or bad. Also if Batman kills now, what reason is there for the Joker to still be alive? The whole point of their relationship is that Batman won’t kill Joker because of his code and Joker won’t kill Batman because he loves fighting him, but if Batman has no code and he has been Batman for years then he really should have killed Joker a long time ago. I did enjoy Batfleck and I am very much looking forward to his solo Batman movie, but BvS is rushed and sloppy. So I’ve said my piece, now let the fanboy hate commence.
  
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Gareth von Kallenbach (965 KP) rated the PC version of Mortal Shell in Video Games

Oct 8, 2020  
Mortal Shell
Mortal Shell
2020 | Action, Role-Playing
Beautiful Scenery (1 more)
Hardening Skill can save you when you screw up
No real direction on where to start (0 more)
Back in 2009 Demon’s Soul, a PlayStation 3 exclusive, made its way into the hands of players around the world. The game was punishingly difficult, and was revered for its no handholding, brutally steep learning curve. A game that harkened back to the days of old, when video games were more about a player spending hour upon hour of mastering its nuances then relying on a never-ending supply of save games. This game, and the even more popular successor Dark Souls, gave way to its own genre defining style, the “souls-like” game. Since those genre defining years, several companies have tried to take inspiration from the originals and craft them into their own unique experiences. Whether that be futuristic takes such as Surge 2, or sticking to a familiar fantasy setting, with mixed results. Enter the latest in this genre, a game developed by the fine folks at Cold Symetry, released on Windows, Xbox and PlayStation.

Mortal Shell is an “souls-like” action role playing game, where you are a creature whose unique ability is to inhabit the bodies of fallen warriors scattered across the realm of Fallgrim. Much like its inspiration, Fallgrim is a land that is bleak and unforgiving. Whether you are traipsing across murky swamps, filled with bear tramps and poisonous frogs, snowy fields or fiery plains, there are always an unending supply of enemies that you must contend with. Each “shell” you inhabit offers up a distinct playstyle and upgrade tree that should appeal to every unique player.

The first shell you inhabit, is what I refer to as the Jack-of-All trades shell, Harros. Harros is a traditional knight like character that has a balance of health, stamina, and resolve (the statistic that allows you to use your special upgrades applied to your weapon of choice). As you progress through the story, you will come across three other shells for you to inhabit, that you can switch between as you wish. This allows you to vary your play style between Eredrim, a tank-architype with lots of health but low stamina, Tiel, the acolyte with less health but is more agile and able to dodge and roll out of the way, or Solomon, who has the most resolve. Each character upgrade requires Tar (the gold of Fallgrim) and Glimpses. These are acquired by defeating enemies, and through gathering various plants throughout your journey.

In addition to the four shells, there are also four upgradable weapons that can be found along your journey. You begin with the Hollow Sword but will come across others to aid you on your quest. There is the Hammer and Chisel, a dual wield, fast attack, but lower damage weapon. The Martyr’s Blade, a heavy two-handed sword that does massive damage but is slow to attack. Lastly, The Smoldering Mace. All of these can be upgrades with special attacks that are initiated by your characters resolve, that can do an incredible amount of damage when initiated.

Combat occurs by locking onto your opponent and then utilizing fast and heavy attacks to defeat them. Experimenting with executing fast and heavy in specific sequences will result in numerous combos that do additional damage and stagger your foes. Mortal Shells unique blocking ability is what the game refers to as Hardening. Hardening, does exactly as the name suggests, turning yourself into stone and blocking most incoming attacks. It can be initiated at practically any time, even during the middle of your attack, allowing you to brush off an incoming attack and finish up with an epic strike. Learning the best time and place to use your hardening skill, is the key to overcoming your most difficult opponents, and ultimately slaying them in the process. There is also a parry aspect, which you obtain at the beginning of your quest, that allows you to parry incoming blows, and respond with devastating effect. Be aware that not all attacks can be parried, and your Tarnished Seal Emblem (which enables your skill) will glow red to warn you of this.

During combat, if your health reaches zero, you will be pushed out of your shell (which reminded me of playing a mech game where your mech is destroyed and you are automatically ejected). You are given the chance to climb back into your shell, but if you are hit while outside of your shell you will almost always die quickly. If your health reaches zero again, you die and you return back to Sester Genessa, a shadowy figure who acts like a bonfire from the souls’ games. As with the games before it, dying forces you to drop your tar and re-spawns all enemies that you have killed previously. Returning to your body allows you to retrieve your tar and restores all your health.

One of the more interesting aspects of the game is in the use of items you discover during your adventure. Most items effects will be unknown until you use the item, which forces you to experiment with everything you find. As you use the item more frequently you become more familiar with the item, and as that familiarity grows, the effects grow as well. Some will damage you in the beginning, only to benefit you as you grow more familiar with them, others you will utilize at the wrong time, and not benefit from the effect, but you will still learn from the experience. In this way Mortal Shell rewards you for experimentation, and forces those who like to hoard their findings for “when the right time arrives to use it” to utilize it and learn from it.

Much like the Souls-like games that inspired it, Mortal Shell could almost be mistaken for one of the games it garnered inspiration from. The setting, the characters, even the fonts used, could easily have been taken directly from a Dark Souls game. You’d be forgiven if someone came up to you and asked you which of the Dark Souls games you are playing. That’s not to say that Mortal Shell doesn’t distinguish itself in other ways, but on the surface, it would be easy to mistake it for another clone. The sound design, the graphic design, is all very well done, so at least the inspiration is put to good use in Mortal Shell

While Mortal Shell generally plays fast and well, there are a couple of instances where death seemed to come due to little I had control over. There are various cut scenes where you are crawling through tunnels, and you come out on the other side. Occasionally your character will be attacked immediately follow the cut scene, which gives you little time to react. There are ways to time your crawl, as to not emerge immediately into a group of baddies, but nothing frustrated me more, when I came across these areas. The difficulty and learning curve are about as difficult as one would expect from such a game.

If you are a fan of Dark Souls or Souls-like games, there is a lot to like in Mortal Shell. Most of the gameplay and style will feel immediately familiar, and there is just enough uniqueness in the game to satisfy veterans of the soul’s type games. If you have been put off by the difficulty of souls-like games in the past, Mortal Shell doesn’t differ enough from the formula to likely change your mind. While it’s not as long as the games that inspire it, it’s hard to beat the price ($29.99 on the Epic Store), and it’s refreshing enough to act as a place holder until the Demon’s Soul remake becomes available

What I liked: Beautiful Scenery, Hardening Skill can save you when you screw up

What I liked less: No real direction on where to start
  
Joker (2019)
Joker (2019)
2019 | Crime, Drama
An unapologetic masterpiece.
I wasn't sure what to expect going into this film. I'm a huge comic book fan, so the controversy and scepticism surrounding this movie, as well as the fact it's based within an established story world, had me doubting how it would work and how good the execution of it would be.

I certainly didn't expect the film I saw.

The basis for this movie is simple and effective: Arthur Fleck (played with a career-defining performance by Joaquin Phoenix) is a mentally unstable and depressed wannabe stand-up comedian working as a clown in a 1980's Gotham City. The movie is set against a backdrop of civil unrest, worker strikes and city-wide poverty, with each being exaggerated to highlight both the severity of each one for the purposes of the film, but also to shine a spotlight on how tough the real world was back then.

A potentially fatal encounter on a late-night subway acts as a catalyst for Fleck, who is shown throughout the first 20 minutes to be a man living on a knife's edge - balancing his own pitiful existence with the way society believes he should act. You get the sense that it would take nothing more than a gentle push to send him one way or the other. The subway was that push.

In a city that very much reflects the character's state of mind, this served to push more than just Arthur Fleck over the edge. Because he happened to be dressed as a clown at the time, and because the *cough* victims *cough* worked for Wayne Enterprises (ran by Thomas Wayne himself), it's seen by many as a vigilante act - someone standing up to the rich elite. This sparks outrage and rioting across the city. The idea of a man dressed as a clown standing up for the little guy becomes the poster child for a civil movement, much in the styling of "V For Vendetta (2005)".

The more Arthur Fleck struggles personally, the worse the streets of Gotham seem to get, as if society's increasing tension and unrest is somehow linked to his own state of mind. He finally realises what he has inadvertently created and begins to transform himself into the vigilante icon people already believe him to be.

Despite the slow pace of the movie, it never seems to drag. The story of Fleck's inevitable descent unfolds patiently, showing you exactly what it wants you to see, when it wants you to see it. It's a very bold and confident step for a movie which would've known how controversial it was going to be before it was even released.

The style of the film is extremely clever. The soundtrack is little more than a low-frequency hum, which plays almost constantly throughout. The camerawork is also exceptional. In every shot of Arthur Fleck, the camera centres on him before very slowly closing in on him. It's subtle, perhaps only a few millimetres per shot, but it's noticeable enough that you feel yourself being pulled in, being legitimately gripped by what you're watching. This contributes to what is, overall, a claustrophobic and sometimes unnerving experience.

There has been initial controversy about the film, with reports of people leaving the cinema during the screening for varying reasons. You see this from time to time, and the cynic in me thinks this is rarely more than clever marketing tactics. And then you see the comments from people who say they were disgusted or sickened or disturbed or whatever. I usually think it's a load of rubbish. That people are just saying that for attention. I don't honestly believe people who are that easily offended by a movie would choose to see something that is clearly going to show you all the things you don't like.

However, with "Joker (2019)", I can actually understand it. This is a truly disturbing film. Not for the violence, which has been the subject of much debate. There's actually very little violence in the movie, but when it's there, it's pretty graphic, admittedly. But honestly, it's not anywhere near as bad as a lot of things you see nowadays. No, it's disturbing because of how believable Arthur Fleck is. Seeing how unstable he is. Seeing how easy he can choose to do terrible things. It's... uncomfortable to watch at times, but only because it's so well done, so well written, you hate yourself for sympathising with him.

If I had to draw comparisons for this movie, I would have to say it's more subtle than "Watchmen (2009)", it's grittier and darker than "Taxi Driver (1976)" or "Fight Club (1999)" and much more uncompromising and unapologetic than "Natural Born Killers (1994)". It is truly a modern-day masterpiece. There are two major plot twists, both occurring in the second act, which really highlight the genius behind the screenplay. This movie is written perfectly, and executed the same way on-screen by Phoenix, who draws from both Jack Nicholson and Heath Ledger to create this unique take on the character which more than holds its own.

Now, before I summarise, we do need to address the whole... y'know... Batman thing. This is the Joker's origin story, after all.

So, first thing's first: this isn't a comic book movie. Not by a long way. This belongs in the same conversation as Goodfellas, not Guardians of the Galaxy. Director Todd Phillips has even stated that this is simply a stand-alone movie telling a story that needed to be told. Yes, it has references to the DC comic universe (which I will omit here for fear of venturing into spolier territory), but it's unlikely to ever cross over with DC's attempt to mimic the MCU.

The nods to the comics are infrequent but clever, touching on themes and events we already know, and in some cases, re-writing them entirely - which definitely will draw controversy with the hardcore comic fans. For example, I did question why they used the civil unrest subplot and backdrop to essentially try and make Wayne Enterprises the villain of the story, but like it or not, it was necessary and it worked like a charm.

I don't know if this was intentional or not, but there was one scene in particular towards the end of the movie where the Joker (as he is now) is riding in the back of a car with his head leaning against the window. The camera was on the wing mirror, focused on his face, and almost frame-for-frame it reminded me of the iconic scene in "The Dark Knight (2008)" where Heath Ledger's Joker is driving with his head out of the window. I'd like to think this was a gracious tribute to the performance of this character that will never be topped.

For a film that breaks the conventions of story-telling by having no real build-up or climactic ending, I have to say I can't remember a time when I was so blown away, so moved, and so affected by a movie. As close to perfect as you'll see this year.

10/10



A quick side note:

The show "13 Reasons Why" has a disclaimer at the beginning of each series from the cast that essentially warns viewers that, due to the sensitive nature of the content, it's inadvisable to watch it if you're struggling with depression or suicidal thoughts. I genuinely think this film should carry a similar notice. It's a dark, grim, unrelenting journey into one man's depressive life. While I won't ever believe listening to Marilyn Manson can make you want to shoot schoolchildren, I do think that if someone is struggling with suicidal thoughts or depression, this movie probably isn't for them. The story focuses on the media glorifying the terrible acts of someone who is mentally unstable. Yes, it's a movie. It's not real. But for someone in a very bad place themselves, this probably isn't the kind of thing you need to, or should, watch.
  
Descent: Journeys in the Dark (Second Edition)
Descent: Journeys in the Dark (Second Edition)
2012 | Adventure, Exploration, Fantasy, Fighting, Miniatures
Plenty of expansions (1 more)
Decent quality miniatures
App can be buggy (1 more)
One side can snowball after a couple of wins
Descent: Journeys In The Dark has been around a long time now, starting as a huge dungeon crawler and morphing into a tactical skirmish / objective-based campaign game. It is supposed to be played with 2-5 players with 1 player being the "Overlord", controlling all the monsters and playing nasty cards on the other players playing the group of heroes (at least 2 heroes required). The game is a fun dice-chucker with a decent amount of strategy and on the whole, well balanced.

With a couple of big-box and half a dozen small-box expansions, not to mention the various hero & monster packs, there is a ton of stuff available and if you own everything, you will be able to choose from 72 heroes with 22 different class decks; fight against 45 different monster types, and encounter around 15 lieutenants over a total of 182 different scenarios. That's plenty to keep you quiet for a while.


So many cards...
Descent: An Overview In The Dark

Descent is a scenario-based game where you work through a tree of different missions, choosing the next one based on whether the heroes or the Overlord worn the last. Each scenario will have specific objectives - anything from stealing an item and reaching the exit to interrogating prisoners and defeating a fearsome Lieutenant of the Overlord. Some of the monsters to be encountered are specified in the scenario text with other free groups able to be chosen from traits specific to that scenario. This gives some variety meaning you will never face exactly the same monsters if you replay the scenarios.

The good players choose a hero from the stack of basic skill types - Fighter, Healer, Scout or Mage and then choose from one of the many class decks for each type so the Fighter could be a Knight or a Berzerker, the Mage a Necromancer and the Healer a Bard, etc. These decks give each hero their skills and form their general strategy.

Meanwhile, the Overlord player chooses one of two Basic decks of cards that will form the base of his defence against the heroes. One deck is more about springing traps while the other has more things to enhance monster attacks. After choosing the basic deck, the Overlord can choose a specialist deck. These can be used to fine tune the Overlord's strategy and at first, only one card is available, the others will be purchased with experience points after each scenario. Finally, if the relevant expansion packs are available, the Overlord can choose a Lieutenant deck which adds further depth to his strategy and also offers the chance to bring a powerful figure into play later in the campaign.


Solo? How So? Redjak has the answer.

With all that going on, it sounds like a fairly daunting if not impossible task to play a solo game of Descent but a fan going by the name of Redjak created two card-driven AI decks - Redjak's Automated Monster Variant (RAMV) and Redjak's Automated Overlord Variant (RAOV). These decks both allow a player, or group of players to play the game as a fully co-operative experience with the cards replacing the Overlord player.

I will say that it is preferable if you have a grasp of the basic rules before jumping into these variants as there can be a lot going on if you are trying to learn the game and the solo rules at the same time. It's probably best to only choose two heroes at first as playing four heroes is more involved but ultimately more rewarding.

These variants are available to download and print out and are also available from the Printer Studio website if you search, although if you are not in the US, then shipping gets expensive.


RAMV

The Monster AI deck is the simpler of the two AI's, being just concerned with the monster actions and leaving out all the Overlord's cards. I haven't played much with this variant but the rules are fairly straightforward. You will set up 4 decks - an Event deck, a Dark Influence deck, a Conditions deck and a Monster deck.

After choosing a scenario to play, you draw cards from the Monster deck, finding ones with icons matching those of the current scenario. This keeps things random and you will always have different things to fight. The selected monster groups will then be placed in "Teams" underneath a row of team cards that will give them their activation order. Finally you will place the encounter objective card for the current scenario. This will give you specific things for each monster group to focus on in terms of stopping you from winning.

You will take your turn alternating hero and monster groups, drawing cards at various points when the monsters should react to attacks, certain scenario triggers ond other in-game events.

It is a fairly simple system but it works really well, giving a solid, straightforward dungeon crawl feel of exploring a map and fighting monsters while trying to complete your quest. Definitely a good starting point and good if you want a 'quick' dungeon crawl.


RAOV

This is the meat, the full experience. Although daunting at first, if you are familiar with the game rules (and have possibly played RAMV a bit), then it will make sense once you get stuck in.

RAOV differs over RAMV in only having one deck, but the rule book is more in depth describing how everything gets played.

You set up as normal, decide on what decks the Overlord will be playing with, draw his starting hand of cards placing them face up on the table. (This variant uses D10 dice anytime you have to make selections)

and take all your heroes actions. If at any point one of your actions would trigger an Overlord card, then that card is played and discarded. Having an open hand means that there are fewer surprises and the Overlord cant be as evil as a human player would be, but it is still tricky and knowing what cards might trigger forces you to think about your strategy in a different way.

Once the heroes have all activated, then the Overlord take its turn, playing any cards that would trigger at the start of the turn. Then, you flip over the top card of the AI deck and activate the first monster group. These cards have a primary target, shown by the corresponding hero symbol and several secondary targets. This gives the monster a focus for its actions. The main text of the card is a list of actions and essentially you work down the list doing whatever actions you are able. Each monster that activates will draw a new card and follow it's orders.

That in a nutshell is it. The Overlord's cards will trigger at the first available opportunity and the monsters will follow a list of options. Once you get used to it, it flows really well and doesn't feel too fiddly at all.

An Open Dungeon

As well as the two AI variants, Redjak also created Delven Deep - a deck of cards each displaying a different map tile that you can use to play a completely randomly generated dungeon crawl. I have yet to try this out, but it is another option if you don't fancy playing through a scripted scenario and just want to explore a random map, killing things.


For The Digital Generation

Fantasy Flight Games have also released an official, free companion app on Android, Steam and IOS that will take control of the Overlord player. This app comes with, I think 2 campaigns - a short training story and a larger, full campaign. Other campaigns a random dungeon generator are available to purchase in the app. None of the printed scenarios are playable using this app and it doesn't use any of the overlord cards, plot decks, event cards or encounter cards.

I will say that I am not a fan of apps for board games and it was actually this app in particular that soured me on the whole idea. Many people really enjoy this app and it has breathed a new lease of life into the game, but unfortunately on my first playthrough, it decided to crash near to the end of a campaign and I essentially lost 6 hours of gaming. I would have had to start all over again from the beginning. That was not a fun experience and put me off completely.

The app borrows heavily from Redjak's work, giving you a list of options to work through when activating the monsters, and various other triggers. Unlike the printed scenarios, all the maps in the digital stories are hidden until you explore them, so you never know what you will encounter. Also, there is a hidden timer in the program that means if you take too long exploring, fighting or whatever, then the game will start throwing nastier and nastier events at you. This makes the game much more of a race than its cardboard cousin and ramps up the difficulty at a fast pace making you feel like you never have enough time to do what you want.

In My opinion, RAOV is the best way to play Descent solo. It uses absolutely everything in the box and gives the most realistic feeling of playing the complete game.