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Pinocchio (2022)
Pinocchio (2022)
2022 | Action, Adventure, Family
3
5.4 (5 Ratings)
Movie Rating
Another day, another "live action retelling" of a Disney classic that manages to disappoint. With the exception of Maleficent and most of The Jungle Book (and I guess Aladdin wasn't completely horrible), these Disney remakes have been duds, thanks to the general air of hollow souless-ness that surrounds them. This is precisely the main detriment with Pinocchio. It's existence in the first place invites comparisons to the original, a truly beloved animation. In turn, this remake offers nothing of value. Anything new on display feels vapid, and everything familiar is far superior within the source material. You have to ask "well what was the point"? It was the same with Mulan. It was the same with Cinderella. It was the same with The Lion King, and I have no doubt that it will be the same with Hercules when that eventually arrives. Disney seem content with shitting out lifeless rehashes for a quick buck and it's probably not going to change.
Tom Hanks tries his best. Monstro looks kind of cool. Jiminy Cricket being voiced scarily accurately by Joseph Gordon Levitt is low key hilarious. Otherwise, this movie is only good for fire wood.
  
The Wicker Man (1973)
The Wicker Man (1973)
1973 | Horror, Mystery
A decent classic
I have to confess to never having seen this film until today, and I can really see why it’s such a classic. And we won’t mention the horror that was the Nic Cage remake from a few years ago.

This is a rather low budget film, and whilst I appreciate it was made in the 70s, you can really tell it’s quite low budget. It’s quite funny watching some of the extras in some scenes where they’re blatantly not doing what they should be doing. However the plot is an interesting one and the audience is as confused as Edward Woodward’s sergeant watching him trying to figure out what’s going on. But this is a good thing and means it’s quite a pleasant surprise and twist when you get to the end. Edward Woodward does a wonderful job as the devout Christian sergeant and is a complete opposite Christopher Lee’s pagan Lord Summerisle. Whilst I appreciate this is a film about paganism, this film does get a little too weird and bizarre at times and I wasn’t a huge fan of this. However the ending does make up for it a little and definitely makes it a classic worth watching.
  
Thir13en Ghosts (2001)
Thir13en Ghosts (2001)
2001 | Horror
The Lore and mythos of the ghosts, and the principles behind some of the setting are interesting, and some of the acting isn't too bad. Some of the special effects are decent, and it was great that so much of the set was physical and tangible. (0 more)
Holes everywhere, characters that disappear and reappear at random, inconsistent rules, and frankly not many scares of note for a horror film. (0 more)
The ghosts aren't the only thing that we can see through...
Contains spoilers, click to show
As part of a 'rewatching films from the 90's and 2000's' theme that me and the missus are going through at the moment, we came to a film i remembered fairly fondly, the remake of Thirteen Ghosts!

Unlike a lot of films from this period, this wasn't as terrible to rewatch as some, though it still reeks of some of the tropes of that period, including the casting of Shannon Elizabeth, the evil uncle and the corporate Lawyer baddie as well as the kids that can't help but run towards trouble at every opportunity.

Lets be honest, this film isn't really a scary one, it has some nice creepy elements, but it is largely a safe horror entry for people that shy away from the more intense/gory side of the genre.

Matthew Lillard chews all the scenery he can, and is largely very entertaining as a psychic with powers that they touch on without really explaining, but thats ok, its not the sort of film where it matters all that much.

Better than some, worse than others, this is a film for a rainy sunday evening, where it doesn't matter too much if you talk over the miles and miles of exposition, and where you can happily pull apart the plot holes and confusing character motives to your hearts content.
  
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Lenard (726 KP) rated Shaft (2019) in Movies

Jun 23, 2019  
Shaft (2019)
Shaft (2019)
2019 | Action, Crime
Samuel L Jackson in the role he is most suited for. Jackson plays John Shaft, an unfiltered New York City detective turned private investigator. Shaft works the mean streets of Harlem although not the gentrified nouveau riche version that exists today. In this sequel to the 2000 remake/continuation of the 70s classics, the booksmart JJ, John Shaft Jr, hires Shaft to help him investigate the "suicide" of his best friend, an Afghan War vet and former heroin junkie. Using his special set of streetwise skills, Shaft shows his son that he may not know as much as he thinks he does especially when it comes to women. Together, the Shafts uncover the conspiracy that the Supertroopers found 18 years ago but in Harlem with a major Latinx drug dealer who tried to destroy Shaft's life 20 years ago. While not great, this film at least is entertaining in ways most of the films this summer is not.
  
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (2005)
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (2005)
2005 | Comedy, Family, Sci-Fi
It seems of late that every month Hollywood either releases or plans to release a remake of a classic film. This summer has spawned no less than 5 remakes of classic films or televisions shows and with box office receipts in decline, it would seem that the public is craving for something fresh.

Thankfully the Tim Burton remake of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory is not only a winner, but injects a much needed jolt of camp, charm, and wit into a late summer season that desperately needed it.

The film stars Johnny Depp as the mysterious candy maker Willie Wonka. Wonka has become a reclusive for two decades in order to protect his secret recipes from corporate spies and thieves.

As the film opens, a young boy named Charlie Bucket, (Freddie Highmore), returns home to his family shack, which he shares with his parents and four grandparents. As told via narration, that despite the poverty of his family, Charlie is a very lucky boy. Over their meager dinner of cabbage soup, Charlie’s grandfather (David Kelly) regales the family with tales of Willie Wonka and his exploits which he saw first hand while working in the factory decades earlier.

When Wonka resumed candy shipments after a hiatus the world was delighted, but many wondered who was making the candy as aside from shipping trucks, nobody was ever seen coming or going from the factory.

Such secrecy only added to the legend of Wonka as amazing candy creations continued to arrive in shops to the delight of customer’s world wide.

When it is announced that five golden tickets have been hidden inside candy bars world wide, and that the winners will be given a full day tour of the factory by Wonka himself, frenzy erupts across the globe as Wonka Bars are snatched up by a rabid public. Charlie dreams of getting one of the precious tickets, but his family’s meager income limits him to one bar a year on his birthday. Undaunted Charlie counts the days until his coming birthday, undaunted by the discovery of tickets around the globe.

When his efforts to get a ticket are daunted, and the fifth ticket is reported to be found, Charlie consoles himself by finding money in the street and purchases a Wonka Bar from the corner store. In the blink of an eye Charlie finds himself holding the last ticket when he learns that the last one reported found was a hoax.

Soon Charlie and his Grandfather are touring the magical factory complete with rivers of chocolate and edible candy forests in the company of the quirky Wonka and the fellow contest winners. What follows next is not going to be much of a surprise for those who have seen the 1971 version starring Gene Wilder or those who have read the novel by Roald Dahl, what is a surprise is how fresh and spirited this new version is. I was utterly charmed by the story and the effective pacing of the film.

Burton is a master of mixing visuals and fantasy and this time he not only excels, but he adds an effective touch of humanity to the fantasy which keeps the film from being lost in a see of color and effects.

Depp is brilliant as the eccentric Wonka as his mirth and camp, is underscored by equal amounts of fear and mistrust. The film is essentially a morality tale, but it never losses its focus or the charm by becoming preachy or drawn out. In a role that could easily have been mishandled, Depp soars and shows that he is one of the greatest actors of our generation.

Parents should note that there are a few moments in the film that may be a bit intense for the youngest of viewers, but that being said, the film is a true delight full of magic and fantasy that will delight young and old.
  
Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle (2017)
Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle (2017)
2017 | Action, Adventure, Comedy
Could've been better
I think I must be the only person who could take or leave this film. I'd heard a lot of good things about it, but in all honesty it wasn't what I was expecting.

Firstly, I'm glad they didn't completely remake the original and instead gave this it's whole new spin by being a video game. This actually works, and works quite well. And the main cast do very well, especially Jack Black playing a teenage girl and Karen Gillan when she's trying to flirt. There is some good humour in this too, it's just not always my kind of humour.

My main issue with this film is that a lot of the script and humour seemed aimed at the teenage instagram generation. The odd joke isn't too bad, but this was a bit too much. There's also the plot, which seems a little too basic even for a video game and there is far too much explanation going on. There also isn't much in the way of threat and danger in this film. The bad guy is a bit lame and the whole Jumanji world is nowhere near as threatening as you'd have imagined from watching the original film.

This isn't a terrible film and it's not quite as bad as I'd have expected, but its not one I'd rush out to watch again.