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Awix (3310 KP) rated Ready or Not (2019) in Movies
Oct 3, 2019 (Updated Oct 3, 2019)
Knockabout horror comedy film probably deserves more credit for being reasonably successful at both genres. A young woman (Samara Weaving, who appears to be some kind of genetically-engineered hybrid of Emma Stone and Margot Robbie) marries into an extremely wealthy family and is told that, as part of a family tradition, she has to play hide and seek with them. Mildly amused by their funny little ways, she trips off to find a place to hide; unbeknownst to her, her new father-in-law starts handing out axes, crossbows and shotguns to the assembled brood.
It's a brilliant moment, and it's just a shame the publicity for the film spoils it; certainly most of the rest of the script is concerned with coming up with a back-story to justify it and a pay-off that isn't totally overshadowed by it. It just about manages it, though the film is more successful when it comes to delivering laughs than actual scares (it is pretty gory though). Good fun, anyway.
It's a brilliant moment, and it's just a shame the publicity for the film spoils it; certainly most of the rest of the script is concerned with coming up with a back-story to justify it and a pay-off that isn't totally overshadowed by it. It just about manages it, though the film is more successful when it comes to delivering laughs than actual scares (it is pretty gory though). Good fun, anyway.
Matthew Krueger (10051 KP) rated Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot (1992) in Movies
Sep 16, 2019
Pranked By Arnold
This is one of the baddest movies that Stallone has been in. Its so bad that its good?
The plot: Smarting from a romantic breakup, macho police Sgt. Joe Bomowski (Sylvester Stallone) gets a cross-country visit from his mother, Tutti (Estelle Getty). Her misguided efforts to help only fray his nerves, but that doesn't stop her from nagging Joe to be more open about his feelings toward his ex-girlfriend and current boss, Lt. Gwen Harper (JoBeth Williams). When Tutti witnesses a brutal multiple murder, she takes her meddling to the extreme by tagging along to help her son solve the case.
Sylvester Stallone signed onto the film based on rumors that Arnold Schwarzenegger was interested in the lead. In October 2017, Schwarzenegger confirmed a rumor that, knowing the script was "really bad", he had publicly faked interest in starring for producers to lure Stallone.
So Arnold pranked Stallone to get him into this movie that is so funny.
Dont watch this film, its not good.
The plot: Smarting from a romantic breakup, macho police Sgt. Joe Bomowski (Sylvester Stallone) gets a cross-country visit from his mother, Tutti (Estelle Getty). Her misguided efforts to help only fray his nerves, but that doesn't stop her from nagging Joe to be more open about his feelings toward his ex-girlfriend and current boss, Lt. Gwen Harper (JoBeth Williams). When Tutti witnesses a brutal multiple murder, she takes her meddling to the extreme by tagging along to help her son solve the case.
Sylvester Stallone signed onto the film based on rumors that Arnold Schwarzenegger was interested in the lead. In October 2017, Schwarzenegger confirmed a rumor that, knowing the script was "really bad", he had publicly faked interest in starring for producers to lure Stallone.
So Arnold pranked Stallone to get him into this movie that is so funny.
Dont watch this film, its not good.
Awix (3310 KP) rated The New Mutants (2020) in Movies
Aug 31, 2020
Absolutely the last gasp of the original X Men movie franchise essentially gets a dump release, which to be honest it deserves. Five young people with burgeoning mutant powers are confined in a spooky old hospital; they variously squabble and bond while creepy things happen around them.
Interesting idea to do a horror movie using Marvel characters: the problem is that this one isn't very frightening (flat characters and too much bland CGI); the script and performances aren't strong enough to support the introspective tone and inert feel of the movie. Plus, the story is built around a conceit which is very, very easy to guess if you're familiar with these characters. A couple of half-decent performances and the climax (when it most resembles a conventional superhero movie) acquires a certain momentum, but it feels very drab and pointless. Maybe the corporate politics that have kept the film stuck on a shelf for years haven't helped, but I doubt this could ever have been much more impressive.
Interesting idea to do a horror movie using Marvel characters: the problem is that this one isn't very frightening (flat characters and too much bland CGI); the script and performances aren't strong enough to support the introspective tone and inert feel of the movie. Plus, the story is built around a conceit which is very, very easy to guess if you're familiar with these characters. A couple of half-decent performances and the climax (when it most resembles a conventional superhero movie) acquires a certain momentum, but it feels very drab and pointless. Maybe the corporate politics that have kept the film stuck on a shelf for years haven't helped, but I doubt this could ever have been much more impressive.
Awix (3310 KP) rated North by Northwest (1959) in Movies
Sep 30, 2020 (Updated Oct 1, 2020)
Super-slick espionage thriller from Hitchcock's late-50s imperial phase is one of the greatest pieces of escapist cinema ever made. Hapless ad executive Cary Grant finds himself mistaken for a secret agent and pursued across America by the bad guys and the cops, and forced to become a non-existent adventurer. Sparkling dialogue and effortless suspense is intercut with iconic set-pieces (the crop duster attack, the chase across the faces of Mount Rushmore).
Hitchcock makes it all look bafflingly easy, assisted by a very smart script and some charismatic performers (Grant is perhaps a touch too old - he was 55 at the time - but makes up for it with sheer star power). Maybe the plot doesn't completely hang together and the title has no relation to the story, but who cares? A deservedly enduring film, perhaps in more ways than one: add a touch more grit and some globetrotting to this recipe and you'd have something that looks very much like the formula for a Bond movie. Superb entertainment.
Hitchcock makes it all look bafflingly easy, assisted by a very smart script and some charismatic performers (Grant is perhaps a touch too old - he was 55 at the time - but makes up for it with sheer star power). Maybe the plot doesn't completely hang together and the title has no relation to the story, but who cares? A deservedly enduring film, perhaps in more ways than one: add a touch more grit and some globetrotting to this recipe and you'd have something that looks very much like the formula for a Bond movie. Superb entertainment.
Awix (3310 KP) rated The Hellstrom Chronicle (1971) in Movies
May 25, 2020
Playful, technically impressive and possibly very influential wildlife documentary. Scientist Nils Hellstrom, PhD (Doctor of Philosophy), MS (Master of Science), and WF (Wholly Fictitious), expresses his fears for the future of the human race, believing we are likely to be outcompeted by insects in every respect. Startling and occasionally grisly clips showing the lives of insects and other arthropods illustrate his thesis in great detail.
Well, Hellstrom (or more accurately writer David Seltzer, who went on to script The Omen twice) isn't a great biologist (he refers to insects as a species rather than a class), but the photography in the film is great and Lawrence Pressman's well-judged performance adds a lot to the impression the film makes: it's tongue in cheek, but still thought-provoking. As a gimmick to make people watch a wildlife documentary, it's an interesting one; you can sense echoes of this film's innovative use of music and narrative to add drama in many much more respectable nature documentaries (most of David Attenborough's blockbuster series, for instance). An oddity, but a good one.
Well, Hellstrom (or more accurately writer David Seltzer, who went on to script The Omen twice) isn't a great biologist (he refers to insects as a species rather than a class), but the photography in the film is great and Lawrence Pressman's well-judged performance adds a lot to the impression the film makes: it's tongue in cheek, but still thought-provoking. As a gimmick to make people watch a wildlife documentary, it's an interesting one; you can sense echoes of this film's innovative use of music and narrative to add drama in many much more respectable nature documentaries (most of David Attenborough's blockbuster series, for instance). An oddity, but a good one.
Awix (3310 KP) rated The Last Witch Hunter (2015) in Movies
Apr 16, 2020 (Updated Apr 16, 2020)
Here we go again. Lumbering action-fantasy stomper based - I kid you not - on one of Vin Diesel's Dungeons & Dragons games. Mediaeval warrior Kaulder (spelt with a K presumably because it's kooler, a principle I will be observing karefully in this review) battles the Evil Witch Queen and is kursed with immortality. What ensues is basically Highlander meets Hellboy meets Harry Potter meets Blade meets Men in Black: mysteriously, this film attempts to pinch the best bits of all those films and ends up seeming worse than any of them.
Plodding script is largely to blame, also the fact that Vin basically just does his routine smirking-swaggering-smug performance for most of the film. Usual excess of CGI doesn't help the situation much either. Michael Kaine (look how kool I've made him seem) somehow manages to emerge with dignity, but he's about the only one. Lazy film-making in virtually every way that matters (although it scrapes another point for the moment when Vin Diesel dolphins a giant wooden insect). Are they really still planning a sequel? Kount me out.
Plodding script is largely to blame, also the fact that Vin basically just does his routine smirking-swaggering-smug performance for most of the film. Usual excess of CGI doesn't help the situation much either. Michael Kaine (look how kool I've made him seem) somehow manages to emerge with dignity, but he's about the only one. Lazy film-making in virtually every way that matters (although it scrapes another point for the moment when Vin Diesel dolphins a giant wooden insect). Are they really still planning a sequel? Kount me out.
Hip Hop: The Illustrated History of Break Dancing, Rap Music and Graffiti
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"Extremely well-written" --Dave Marsh.... "The best and most reliable history" --Robert Palmer.......
Lights! Camera! Puzzles!
5.0
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The new novel in the ever-popular mystery series finds the Puzzle Lady on the set of a movie about...
LeftSideCut (3776 KP) rated Hellraiser: Inferno (2000) in Movies
Mar 29, 2022
The 5th entry in the Hellraiser series is certainly a mixed bag. It's has a script and narrative that clearly threw in Hellraiser elements as an afterthought, really scales back on the cenobite stuff, and has some truly dodgy effects work.
With all that being said, everything about Inferno that's surrounds those points is pretty positive. The corrupt cop who cheats on his wife/snorts coke/is a general asshole whilst trying to solve a huge case trope has been done a million times, but it lends itself well to the conditions of the lament configuration. The films whole vibe screams David Lynch, and there's some genuinely creepy imagery delivered with ambition by a feature-debuting Scott Derrickson, clearly showing off some stylistic choices that he would go on to hone in his future successful career.
Throw in some decent gore and a pretty solid cast, and we're left with a Hellraiser film that would 100% be seen in a more favourable light if it had been afforded a bigger budget.
With all that being said, everything about Inferno that's surrounds those points is pretty positive. The corrupt cop who cheats on his wife/snorts coke/is a general asshole whilst trying to solve a huge case trope has been done a million times, but it lends itself well to the conditions of the lament configuration. The films whole vibe screams David Lynch, and there's some genuinely creepy imagery delivered with ambition by a feature-debuting Scott Derrickson, clearly showing off some stylistic choices that he would go on to hone in his future successful career.
Throw in some decent gore and a pretty solid cast, and we're left with a Hellraiser film that would 100% be seen in a more favourable light if it had been afforded a bigger budget.
Lucy Buglass (45 KP) rated The Meg (2018) in Movies
Jun 20, 2019
Statham vs Massive Prehistoric Shark
Before I start my review, I think I should add a quick disclaimer. I knew fine well that I wasnāt walking into a Oscar-worthy, perfect film as soon as I booked my ticket for The Meg. With the exception of Jaws, how many shark films have actually been award worthy? Weāve seen a huge boom in shark popularity ranging from plausible to the downright stupid (yes Sharknado, Iām looking at you and your buddies). But despite my already low expectations, I still have a fair amount of criticism for what I saw.
My biggest problem from the get-go is that we get no explanation for why the megalodon, a shark thatās been extinct for 2 million years has suddenly came back to gobble people up. How did it survive? Why is it there? Even the most low budget, downright awful creature features try to offer some silly scientific explanation for why the antagonist exists at all. Itās dumb, but hey, at least they tried. The Meg makes no effort to try and explain anything which was frustrating to me. The most we got was āOh hey, thereās this really big creature that we thought was extinct but itās actually living down in the Marianas trench ā surprise!ā. This might be a sufficient explanation for some, but not for me.
Having said that, was it an entertaining film? Sure. I did really enjoy the visuals especially and thought they did an excellent job with the CGI and actually bringing this creature and the underwater facility to life. Cinematically itās a stunning film to look at, and despite all this implausibility, it still transports you to this huge, unknown, underwater world for the duration. Iāve seen some terrible CGI in my time, but thankfully The Meg doesnāt fall into this category. These visuals make up for the cringe-worthy script and lines that were supposed to be serious and instead made me burst out laughing. But letās be honest, Iād be disappointed if the script wasnāt this god-awful. You walk into a film like this expecting to face palm a couple of times, donāt you?
I wouldāve liked a bit more brutality as the Meg is supposed to be a terrifying, monster shark thatās approximately 60 feet in length. (The Great White shark can grow up to 20 feet for comparison). Despite itās 12 rating Iām sure more blood and violence wouldāve been acceptable as Jaws managed to get away with it back in 1975. Who could forget that scene where an unfortunate fellow slides down into the sharkās mouth? Brutal. Whilst I appreciate this isnāt necessarily a horror film, it actually needed more violence and less filler scenes in my opinion. Itās not often that I ask for more violence,` especially in an action film, yet here we are.
To conclude, The Meg is a fun way to spend your evening, but it ultimately felt like a high budget B-Movie. The actors tried their best with the script they had, but even people like Jason Statham and Ruby Rose couldnāt make it better. (what was up with Stathamās accent, by the way?!). If youāre wanting a silly shark film with more substance, Iād recommend Deep Blue Sea instead
https://lucygoestohollywood.com/2018/08/19/statham-vs-massive-prehistoric-shark-my-thoughts-on-the-meg/
My biggest problem from the get-go is that we get no explanation for why the megalodon, a shark thatās been extinct for 2 million years has suddenly came back to gobble people up. How did it survive? Why is it there? Even the most low budget, downright awful creature features try to offer some silly scientific explanation for why the antagonist exists at all. Itās dumb, but hey, at least they tried. The Meg makes no effort to try and explain anything which was frustrating to me. The most we got was āOh hey, thereās this really big creature that we thought was extinct but itās actually living down in the Marianas trench ā surprise!ā. This might be a sufficient explanation for some, but not for me.
Having said that, was it an entertaining film? Sure. I did really enjoy the visuals especially and thought they did an excellent job with the CGI and actually bringing this creature and the underwater facility to life. Cinematically itās a stunning film to look at, and despite all this implausibility, it still transports you to this huge, unknown, underwater world for the duration. Iāve seen some terrible CGI in my time, but thankfully The Meg doesnāt fall into this category. These visuals make up for the cringe-worthy script and lines that were supposed to be serious and instead made me burst out laughing. But letās be honest, Iād be disappointed if the script wasnāt this god-awful. You walk into a film like this expecting to face palm a couple of times, donāt you?
I wouldāve liked a bit more brutality as the Meg is supposed to be a terrifying, monster shark thatās approximately 60 feet in length. (The Great White shark can grow up to 20 feet for comparison). Despite itās 12 rating Iām sure more blood and violence wouldāve been acceptable as Jaws managed to get away with it back in 1975. Who could forget that scene where an unfortunate fellow slides down into the sharkās mouth? Brutal. Whilst I appreciate this isnāt necessarily a horror film, it actually needed more violence and less filler scenes in my opinion. Itās not often that I ask for more violence,` especially in an action film, yet here we are.
To conclude, The Meg is a fun way to spend your evening, but it ultimately felt like a high budget B-Movie. The actors tried their best with the script they had, but even people like Jason Statham and Ruby Rose couldnāt make it better. (what was up with Stathamās accent, by the way?!). If youāre wanting a silly shark film with more substance, Iād recommend Deep Blue Sea instead
https://lucygoestohollywood.com/2018/08/19/statham-vs-massive-prehistoric-shark-my-thoughts-on-the-meg/