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Crank 2: High Voltage (2009)
Crank 2: High Voltage (2009)
2009 | Action, Comedy
5
6.8 (8 Ratings)
Movie Rating
A Very Poor Man's Hardcore Henry
Chev Chelios (Jason Statham) is back (because apparently falling out of a helicopter thousands of feet in the air can’t kill him) facing off against a gang of thugs that want to harvest his “special” heart for their leader. Artificial heart attached, Chev has to keep recharging himself or slow down and, ultimately, die. Can’t make this shit up…

Acting: 2

Beginning: 4

Characters: 3
You might find it a challenge to find a more disinteresting group of characters wrapped in one movie. I’m not exaggerating when I say I hated just about everyone in Crank 2: High Voltage. Every character is overdone and represents one big waste of space. And the man of the hour, Chev Chelios? Yep, hate him too. He’s crass (and not in the cool Logan kind of way), racist (and not in the cool Clint Eastwood kind of way), and only cares about himself. Thirty minutes in, I was wishing he would run out of options and his heart would just stop, putting me out of my misery once and for all.

I wish he was the worst, but yes it gets worse. The other characters are a combination of racist stereotypes, antagonists that would be better off with a couple of lines rather than pages of them, and fodder for gunfire. The combination was painful to say the least.

Cinematography/Visuals: 9

Conflict: 7
The action is far out there and I definitely give them a C for effort. I know farfetched is the name of the game when it comes to this movie, but so is Hardcore Henry by comparison and I loved those action scenes. Perfect example: A gunfight breaks out at a mansion. A gardener continues to hedge the bushes while bullets are flying all around him before he finally gets shot. Come on, man! Too lazy for words.

Entertainment Value: 5

Memorability: 7
For better or worse, there are definitely moments of this movie I will never forget. Like the sex scene on the horse racetrack. During a live horse race. Or the head in the jar. Or the random porn star protest. Or or or…I never said they were great memorable moments, but they are in there.

Pace: 7

Plot: 4
The story doesn’t even begin to make sense. I’m only giving it a four because the whole story revolves around Chev beating people the hell up so the story really shouldn’t matter that much. Still, if you’re looking for something coherent, please save your time and go watch something else.

Resolution: 4

Overall: 52
On my quest to watch 366 movies in a year, yes, I have seen worse movies than Crank 2: High Voltage. But not many. It’s bad. Real bad. Please save your time and avoid this movie at all costs.
  
Ted (2012)
Ted (2012)
2012 | Comedy
Full disclosure: I am a huge Family Guy fan. I’ve been watching since day one, and even own every volume and special edition DVD released. Okay, now that we have that out of the way.

Ted is the multi-talented Seth MacFarlane’s directorial debut for a feature films. It follows the story of John Bennett (Mark Wahlberg), who as a kid never really had any friends. For Christmas he received a talking teddy bear, which he decided to name Ted. One day he makes a wish that will forever change his life, a wish that Ted could really talk to him and be best friends. That wish came true.

Ted became a world-wide sensation. He was not a figment of John’s imagination, but rather a real-life talking teddy bear. Ted (who is voiced by MacFarlane) becomes the overnight celebrity that we have seen so many times, and eventually becomes old news when fame becomes fleeting.

Flash forward 28 years to present day, John is now 35, but still acts very much the child.

He is in a dead end job, and would rather blow the important things off in his life to hang with his best friend Ted.

This includes is Lori (Mila Kunis), his girlfriend of four years. I think we see where this going, typical relationship problems and the movie then becomes about trying to win Lori back with the help of Ted.

While the story line is a little predictable, it never felt that way while watching it. There is a lot of subtle humor, and there is a lot of in your face rude, crude humor. There were also a lot of cameos. Some will only be obvious to Family Guy fans or fans of the eighties, while others will be right in your face.

One thing that grinds my gears is when some movies these day show the funniest moments in the trailer, and the rest of the movie is… eh.

One thing is for sure: it keeps you laughing almost the whole way through. There were even some lines that I missed because of how loud the laughter in the theater was (which means a repeat trip, I think).

There were a lot of one-liners, though, that I will probably end up using on a regular basis.
I kind of always get nervous about bringing someone to a movie I want to see, afraid that they won’t like my choice. My guest came in with very low expectations of the film, but she ended up laughing the entire time, and even got really caught up in the tense moments.

With all of the drug and sex references, and crude humor, this movie is definitely not meant for a younger audience, or probably even the really easily offended. Keep that in mind and if you still want to watch, you will not be disappointed.
  
The New Husband
The New Husband
D.J. Palmer | 2020 | Thriller
9
7.7 (3 Ratings)
Book Rating
I love a good thriller, so when I found out about The New Husband by D.J. Palmer, I was all over it! This was a book that I knew I had to read. Luckily, I was not disappointed at all.

Nina's husband Glen disappeared after going out on his boat. No one was ever able to locate Glen's body although Nina presumes him to be dead. About two years later, Nina finds love with Simon Fitch, a teacher at her daughter's middle school. Simon is absolutely perfect for Nina, but Maggie, Nina's daughter, knows something is very wrong with Simon. Is Simon actually who he says he is or is Nina over her head?

I found the plot for The New Husband to be entertaining even though I also found it fairly predictable. While the plot is similar to other books, Palmer does a fantastic job at adding his own voice to the story. There were a couple of little plot twist I didn't predict to be fair, and the pacing was done brilliantly. I felt like every loose end was tied up by the end of the book and was explained very well. The descriptive use of text has me transported right into the middle of the setting for every scene in The New Husband.

The characters in The New Husband all had plenty of depth and were very fleshed out. I loved Nina, but so many times I wanted her to really pry more into Simon's background instead of taking him at face value. It was easy to see why she wanted to trust him since she was in love with him though. I loved how Nina's curiosity eventually got the better of her, and she did start digging up info on Simon. Simon seemed like a complete psychopath to me. I loved how well he was written, but I was constantly second guessing everything Simon said. I wanted to be wrong about him. I loved how Maggie was willing to investigate Simon from the get go. Something about him didn't sit right with her, and she acted on it. Whenever everyone else was jaded when it came to Simon, Maggie saw right through him. I did feel that Maggie sometimes acted younger than her actual age though based on how her thoughts were written.

Trigger warnings include profanity, gas-lighting, mentions of sex (although not graphic), gun use, alcohol use, violence, attempted murder, and murder.

The New Husband will definitely leave you on your toes as well as turning the page wanting to know more. Although the plot is fairly predictable, it has a great cast of characters who hold their own. I would definitely recommend The New Husband by D.J. Palmer to those who love a story that sucks them right in!
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(A special thank you to the publisher for sending me a paperback ARC of The New Husband by D.J. Palmer. I was not required to write a review.)
  
Slow Dances Under An Orange Moon (Colors of Love #4)
Slow Dances Under An Orange Moon (Colors of Love #4)
V.L. Locey | 2020 | Contemporary, LGBTQ+, Romance
10
6.5 (2 Ratings)
Book Rating
my fav of the series!
Independent reviewer for Archaeolibrarian, I was gifted my copy of this book.

And just like that, back up to 5 full stars AND it's single point of view!

I LOVED this instalment of these hockey players, I really did.

Kye returns home after retiring from professional hockey with two things on his agenda.

Look after his grandad, Dunny.

And get his man back, David.

First one is fairly easily sorted but the second one? Not so much. David is, even after 20 years, angry with Kye. So angry for leaving him, but more so for not even coming home in all that time, not ONCE. David would have had a long distance relationship, but Kye was still in the closet and did not want to ruin his career. Leaving Davey all that time ago killed Kye, but now he is on a mission to get his man back. Will David as he likes to be called, want him, though?

Kye is very vocal about many things, but the biggest thing he has a say about is his regret for leaving David and not coming home. He needs David to understand, even after all this time, he LOVES David, deep within his soul and he just needs a chance to prove that.

There follows a delightful tale of a man on a mission, a woo-ing mission, to get his man back and Kye does it so beautifully! He can see David giving in, with the little twitches of a smile, the sparkle in his eye, the way he wants to go slow about kills Kye, but he knows he has to play David's game if he really has any sort of chance.

Only Kye has a say, yes, I know, but his voice is strong, and fills in all the gaps that David NOT having a voice leaves. David manages to get his point across, though.

I didn't find it as explicit as a couple of the others, but it's not missed. This is more about the LOVE between these two men, rather than that sex.

Some difficult reading about the poachers and what David, as a wildlife conservation officer finds, but I think that probably is needed, to explain a lot of how David feels about his job and what he has to deal with on a day to day basis.

Also, Dunny, Kye's grandfather, is ailing in body and mind, and that is also difficult reading, but extremely well written and absolutely needed.

Arn pops up, and I loved the little digs to Kye about the other couples in this series, I really did! Made me chuckle, what Arn comes out with! Kye had no clue what he was talking about, though, and it shows that there really is no link between the series bar Arn and the colour theme.

Who's next? No idea, but please, keep these guys coming!

5 full and shiny stars

**same worded review will appear elsehwere**
  
Secrets
Secrets
Victoria E Kuhnhardt | 2018 | Mystery
7
7.0 (1 Ratings)
Book Rating
I just loved how many twists there were in this book, some of which actually surprised me. (0 more)
My main issue is just how oblivious Posy and Alex are frequently. (0 more)
Interesting book
Secrets by Victoria E Kuhnhardt is an interesting book about spies and you guessed it, secrets. A young teen’s world is turned upside down and she no longer knows who to trust or who anyone is for that matter. As it is a relatively short book the avid reader could finish it within a week easily.

Posy Waiters’s is a fifteen year old girl who has always questioned her parent’s love for her. This is mainly because she hardly knows them since they travel all the time for work and rarely see her. Sometimes they even forget to send her a card on her birthday. Posy lives all alone except for the live-in nanny who is only there for the money Posy’s parents are paying her. One day all this suddenly changes.

Posy’s parents tragically die and leave Posy to their friends whom Posy has never even heard of let alone met. Her greedy nanny doesn't even stick around to help her pack after hearing the news. Now Posy is living in San Francisco with the Forests but things are not quite what she thinks. While exploring the cellar of her new home Posy discovers something that will change her life forever.

I just loved how many twists there were in this book, some of which actually surprised me. One of the biggest surprises actually appeared at the very end of the book and was a real shocker (though it left a bunch of questions I feel will go unanswered as I don’t believe there is a sequel coming). I also enjoyed the loyalty and non-judgmental attitude for the friends, a rare trait anymore. There are quite a few errors in the book but that is not my largest complaint. My main issue is just how oblivious Posy and Alex are frequently. I also felt like the author occasionally forgot how old (or young) the characters are, such as when a sixteen year old Posy buys a cocktail dress.

Teens to young adults would probably like this book the most. This is largely because it doesn't go into a lot of detail. I also don’t believe the unanswered questions will bother younger readers as much. However, incest is a big subject in this book (and sex is hinted at) and those unable to handle it should refrain from reading this book. I rate this book 2 out of 4 or 3 out of 5. The book would have been much better if it answered ore of the question that it created. That along with the errors and age appropriate behavior (or lack there of) of the characters really damaged my view of the book. If going off of the plot alone I would say the book is extremely good.
  
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Armie Hammer recommended Eyes Wide Shut (1999) in Movies (curated)

 
Eyes Wide Shut (1999)
Eyes Wide Shut (1999)
1999 | Drama, Romance

"Dude, where do I start? I am a Kubrick fanatic. I think that there may never be another director like Stanley Kubrick. Just the meticulous care that he takes in not only the preparation, but the execution of what he’s doing. The fact that there are Christmas lights hidden in every single shot in Eyes Wide Shut, it’s supposed to be this dreamlike sequence. Just the fact that Tom Cruise’s character wants to have sex so badly, and the only time in the film where it’s actually offered to him and he turns it down, that person later turns out to be HIV positive. There’s just so many little things in that film that are so genius, that can only… none of those things can happen by accident. Those are the manifestations of genius, the manifestations of years and years and years of preparation and work, and you can feel that in every single set up, in every single shot, in every single scene, in every single line of dialogue. You can feel that, and you feel how much Kubrick put into that movie. Not only that movie, but every movie. I mean, even Barry Lyndon, all of them, all of his movies are incredible, but Eyes Wide Shut to me is this beautiful meditation on what it is to be sort of like a frustrated man. I just think that movie is absolutely incredible. Then you get into, well, what about the conspiracies about it? What about the fact that it’s about this or that? What about the fact that he’s alluding to this or that secret thing, that everyone knows is happening but no one will admit? All that stuff, there’s just so many layers to that film, that every time I watch it, I feel like I just enjoy it for a different reason. And it’s not regarded as Kubrick’s best work, but I absolutely love it, I think it’s a great film. And look, I just watched 2001 again maybe a month ago, and just sat there marveling again. It’s just like, “Who the hell was this guy? Who gave him the goddamn right to be so good?” But I don’t know, I think that I like the fact that Eyes Wide Shut is like the redheaded stepchild of the Stanley Kubrick films, but it’s amazing. There’s something about the tone of Eyes Wide Shut that, as you’re watching it, it sucks you in, and you really feel like you’re there. Like all of his films. I mean, The Shining wouldn’t be as scary as it is if it didn’t feel like you were actually there in the hotel, but Eyes Wide Shut, there’s just something… It’s a dream. It feels like a dream. It feels like you are watching a dream, and I just think it’s excellent."

Source
  
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Rob Zombie recommended Dracula (1958) in Movies (curated)

 
Dracula (1958)
Dracula (1958)
1958 | Horror
7.8 (6 Ratings)
Movie Favorite

"""I could go on forever with the list, so I just picked five random ones, because I go through periods where I watch certain movies a lot. I don’t know why — I’ll get on a kick. I’ve been on a kick lately of watching Dracula, the 1931 version with Bela Lugosi, over and over and over and over. You know? I love everything from the ’30s. The 1930s is my absolute favorite time period for horror movies, because they were just so demented and sick. Sometimes you watch them and go, “Wow, they get away with a lot.” Then, of course, the codes came in and it ruined the party. When you watch movies from the 1940s, they seem so tame and so dry, but everything from the ’30s is just amazing. Lugosi in that film is so iconic, he doesn’t even seem like an actor giving a performance. Some of these people transcend to something else. It’s like Marilyn Monroe or something. They became something else. Sometimes people will make fun of his performance because of his accent, but he’s so… It’s so funny. I love watching him, because his performances are so unique. Sometimes there’s other people in the film — like David Manners, who’s like the lead, good-looking guy, and he’s so wooden and so 1930s-stiff acting, and Lugosi seems like Brando. You can see he’s so in it that when they yelled, “Cut!,” he didn’t cut. You can just see it. He’s so committed that his performance is funny, because it’s on such another level from anyone else in the film. Everybody in those movies back then, you watch them and it’s just — it’s that feeling like, “Eh, you know, even though they’re supposed to be boyfriend/girlfriend, husband/wife, they don’t [seem] like they’re having sex or something.” Lugosi seems like he wants to f— everything in the movie constantly. He just has that vibe. Really weird, man. You know? He does, essentially, I guess. Yeah, he does. He’s just not tame. I don’t know, maybe because he was Hungarian or whatever, he just has a different way of approaching, but he does not have that “uptight American actor from the ’30s” vibe at all. He just steals every moment. Not just him; Dwight Frye as Renfield is amazing. It’s funny — actors seem like they don’t want to do these types of movies, but as soon as you play a villain in something that’s like a horror movie, that’s what you’re going to be remembered for. Even if Anthony Hopkins won an Oscar for whatever — Remains of the Day or Howard’s End or I can’t even remember what it was — he’s Hannibal Lecter. Doesn’t matter if Jack Nicholson won an Oscar for Cuckoo’s Nest or whatever; he’s Jack Torrance. It’s so funny, these roles are just so — they stick."""

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Kristy H (1252 KP) rated Slingshot in Books

May 6, 2021  
Slingshot
Slingshot
Mercedes Helnwein | 2021 | Romance, Young Adult (YA)
6
6.0 (1 Ratings)
Book Rating
An honest and emotional YA read
Grace Welles is fifteen, trapped at a third-rate boarding school in Florida, and pretty much resigned to a lonely and miserable life. Her father has another (real) family in California, sneaking away to occasionally remember that Grace and her beautiful, flighty mother exist. Grace has no friends. But one day she helps a fellow student, Wade, who is being attacked by a group of popular boys. The two form a strange friendship that eventually blossoms into more. Suddenly, life has meaning. But with this meaning, comes feelings, and the realization that there may be more to Wade than his kind and cool exterior.

I've been sitting on this review, because I honestly cannot tell if this book was amazing or terrible. I know, I know--how is that possible? Helnwein has written something very different here, in many ways: a raw, awkward story that often makes you cringe and want to look away. She spares no detail (or language) when covering Gracie's forays into friendship, drinking, and sex. You forget she's fifteen/sixteen, which is probably what makes it so hard, at times. Yes, she's alone at boarding school, but still? Is this what happens at boarding school? Perhaps that's my problem with all boarding school tales. (At least no one gets murdered.) It's a paradox. Grace falls in love with her biology teacher, which seems sweetly realistic. But when he rejects her, she curses him, destroys his property, and more--is this truly allowed, even at a third rate school? Every thing is excused as "needing the tuition money." Not so realistic.

If you're able to overlook the terrifying behavior of these young students (perhaps made all the more frightening to me, as the mother of young daughters, one of whom is actually named Grace), there are some poignant moments here. Helnwein really does capture the beauty and absolute fear of falling in love for the first time, and Grace and Wade's relationship is pretty magical. The self-centeredness of adolescence--how the world revolves around nothing else. Much of Grace's coming of age is realizing that a great big world exists beyond her. But it's tender and sweet watching her fall. There are some cute friendships too.

At many times, this is a funny and heartbreaking book. There are a lot of serious topics hidden between the craziness. Gracie and Wade are truly lovely characters, and I cared for both of them deeply. I think I was just thrown by some of the characters acting/speaking older than their age and the fact that the book truly tells it how it is, right in your face. It takes a bit of an adjustment. I'm not sure this book is for everyone, but there's a tenderness and beauty to it, and I think many teens would enjoy it. 3 stars.
  
Turbulence (The Wanderer #1)
Turbulence (The Wanderer #1)
Bruce McLaren | 2018 | Fiction & Poetry
10
10.0 (1 Ratings)
Book Rating
This book is really different from what I would normally read, and I think it’s one of those “either you love it or hate it” books and it definitely should not be judged by its cover. (I think it doesn’t really represent the book and it looks very cold) I read it in one day because to me it was awesome. This book is a collection of twelve trips between different destinations and every story talks about his encounters with women. The main character is an archaeologist and this journey starts when he was 22 years old. He doesn’t have a name or an obvious background story, but the reader can get a lot of snippets of his life through the stories. Everything, from appearance, careers even destinations suggests this book to be somehow directly related to the author himself. Was it real encounters or fictional? That’s what left me very intrigued.

I don’t normally like philosophical reads, but in this one, author disguised and blended in these parts very creatively. I do love to learn new things and facts, especially if it is related to history, and for me, all these parts were an absolute joy to read. I really loved different settings chosen for this novel as well, as I got a glimpse of different cultures and different countries. I really liked that author chose different story variations in this book, sometimes he used to get lucky with the women he met and sometimes he missed the chance or chose not to get involved. It was refreshing and very believable changes of course and I was very interested of what the next story will bring. My absolute favourite was the religious discussions. I think the author will make many Christians unhappy, but I loved all the supporting historical facts he mentioned in this book regarding religion. I don’t even have to mention any research for this book, the author has a PhD degree in history/archaeology so I trust all the information he provided. :)

The writing style of this novel is very poetic and absolutely beautiful. B. McLaren has an amazing way of portraying different topics and uniting them all in a wonderfully flowing story. I do have to throw in a disclaimer that there are some discussion and scenes regarding sex and alcohol, so this book is not suitable for young readers. The chapters were quite long for my liking, but they passed quite quickly because I used to get very absorbed in the story itself. I liked how the author decided to end this story and I think it rounded up this book well. So, to conclude, I had a great fun reading this funny, philosophical one man’s journey through life and his encounters with different women all over the world. I learned a lot, so if you like history, travelling and a little bit of philosophical discussion I think you will enjoy this book :)