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Suswatibasu (1701 KP) rated Sex Object: A Memoir in Books
Mar 18, 2018
Similar to many feminist experiences
Jessica Valenti is usually very articulate and analytical in her columns, which is why her memoir feels a shade different from her usual style.
I understand that the premise is to show how sexism doesn't happen in a vacuum and that an accumulation eventually wears down a person thus accepting their situation and even relenting to further abuse. Which is why by the half way point, Valenti herself seems bored of having to replay every terrible sexual incident, and the events become repetitive to the point of desensitization.
As a person, it's horrifying to go through it, as a reader - especially a female one - it does feel like I do not need hear about the details to understand it's happening. Perhaps writing this memoir is a cathartic experience for Valenti, we'll never know. It is sad, especially when she gives up on being herself and caters to everyone else, but that is something a lot of feminist memoirs reveal.
I understand that the premise is to show how sexism doesn't happen in a vacuum and that an accumulation eventually wears down a person thus accepting their situation and even relenting to further abuse. Which is why by the half way point, Valenti herself seems bored of having to replay every terrible sexual incident, and the events become repetitive to the point of desensitization.
As a person, it's horrifying to go through it, as a reader - especially a female one - it does feel like I do not need hear about the details to understand it's happening. Perhaps writing this memoir is a cathartic experience for Valenti, we'll never know. It is sad, especially when she gives up on being herself and caters to everyone else, but that is something a lot of feminist memoirs reveal.
Debbiereadsbook (1084 KP) rated Burn Baby Burn (Fairytales of the Myth #1) in Books
Feb 3, 2021
not really one for me
Independent reviewer for Archaeolibrarian, I was gifted my copy of this book.
I'm really not sure I liked this book, and mostly cos I did not get the ending, it made little sense to me!
It's a dark book, certainly. There is (but not detailed) reference to child abuse, both physical and sexual. It's there, you know? Ella talks about what happens to her, but we don't get it all. There is bloodshed, and a lot of it at the beginning and the end.
Only Ella has a say, so it made the perplexing ending a little more so. Daman is given a voice in the epilogue though.
Ella voice is strong though, and even what she went through, she manages to get her revenge.
What Ella does say is well written, and well delivered. I finished it, so for that reason. . .
3 stars
**same worded review will appear elsewhere**
I'm really not sure I liked this book, and mostly cos I did not get the ending, it made little sense to me!
It's a dark book, certainly. There is (but not detailed) reference to child abuse, both physical and sexual. It's there, you know? Ella talks about what happens to her, but we don't get it all. There is bloodshed, and a lot of it at the beginning and the end.
Only Ella has a say, so it made the perplexing ending a little more so. Daman is given a voice in the epilogue though.
Ella voice is strong though, and even what she went through, she manages to get her revenge.
What Ella does say is well written, and well delivered. I finished it, so for that reason. . .
3 stars
**same worded review will appear elsewhere**
Hari Nef recommended Twin Peaks - Fire Walk with Me (1992) in Movies (curated)
Kristy H (1252 KP) rated Firekeeper's Daughter in Books
Aug 19, 2021
An expansive and lovely #OwnVoices tale
Daunis Fontaine feels torn between two worlds--growing up worrying about her Mom and dreaming of becoming a doctor and then being an unenrolled member of the Ojibwe tribe. Her late father was a member and so is her half-brother, Levi. When Daunis' uncle dies and she decides to stay home and attend local community college to take care of her mom, she feels trapped. But the arrival of Jamie, a new member of Levi's hockey team, is a bright spot. The two become fast friends. However, everything changes when Daunis witnesses a horrible murder, and she becomes an informant for the FBI. Suddenly, everything she knows about her hometown and the tribe changes.
"I learned there were times when I was expected to be a Fontaine and other times when it was safe to be a Firekeeper."
This is an excellent book--more mystery than I thought it would be. It covers a lot of topics--sometimes more than seems necessary. Racism, tribal issues, sexual assault, depression, drug abuse, FBI informants, romance, murder... there's a lot packed into this book. However, it does a great job looking into how meth and drug abuse affect the Native American community (as well as sexual assault). It's heartbreaking at times, but also compelling and educational.
"My mother's superpower is turning my ordinary worries into monsters so huge and pervasive that her distress and heartache become almost debilitating. I can protect her from that hurt."
Daunis is a very sympathetic and likeable character. She's dedicated to her family, to her tribe, and her community. She takes on a lot for a kid her age. Sometimes it felt like the informant plot was a little much, a little contrived, but overall, it didn't take away from my enjoyment of the book. It was wonderful to read an #OwnVoices book of such quality and scope, and I look forward to what Boulley does next.
I read this book as part of my new reading project--choosing books off my shelves based on their Goodreads rankings. This is my fourth book of the project, forcing me out of my comfort zone and to try books in genres I don't usually read!
"I learned there were times when I was expected to be a Fontaine and other times when it was safe to be a Firekeeper."
This is an excellent book--more mystery than I thought it would be. It covers a lot of topics--sometimes more than seems necessary. Racism, tribal issues, sexual assault, depression, drug abuse, FBI informants, romance, murder... there's a lot packed into this book. However, it does a great job looking into how meth and drug abuse affect the Native American community (as well as sexual assault). It's heartbreaking at times, but also compelling and educational.
"My mother's superpower is turning my ordinary worries into monsters so huge and pervasive that her distress and heartache become almost debilitating. I can protect her from that hurt."
Daunis is a very sympathetic and likeable character. She's dedicated to her family, to her tribe, and her community. She takes on a lot for a kid her age. Sometimes it felt like the informant plot was a little much, a little contrived, but overall, it didn't take away from my enjoyment of the book. It was wonderful to read an #OwnVoices book of such quality and scope, and I look forward to what Boulley does next.
I read this book as part of my new reading project--choosing books off my shelves based on their Goodreads rankings. This is my fourth book of the project, forcing me out of my comfort zone and to try books in genres I don't usually read!
Suswatibasu (1701 KP) rated American Pastoral (2016) in Movies
Aug 24, 2017
Ewan McGregor is brilliant (2 more)
Incredibly sad
Not bad adaptation of Philip Roth's book
Harrowing, tragic and moving
Philip Roth's tragic drama about the perfect high school couple and the disintegration of a family has finally made it on to the big screen. Set in the 1960's during massive political upheaval in America, it follows the story of a daughter who disappears after allegedly bombing a store, killing a clerk as part of a 'revolutionary' movement. Her father, played by Ewan McGregor, believes that she has been manipulated and that she is truly innocent throughout, even in the face of all opposing evidence. It's horrific seeing the mother and father's complete breakdown and it seems apparent the daughter Merry is suffering from a mental illness. There's hints of sexual abuse thought to have triggered her stutter, but it is extremely subtle.
It's really quite a sombre watch, especially given that the film begins with the father's funeral. Beautiful acting, but the daughter's character was extremely irritating.
It's really quite a sombre watch, especially given that the film begins with the father's funeral. Beautiful acting, but the daughter's character was extremely irritating.
Suswatibasu (1701 KP) rated My Absolute Darling in Books
Dec 31, 2017
Really struggled to get into this
This is one of those love/hate type of books, and unfortunately I fall into the latter camp. An extremely triggering and sensitive subject tackled here by author Gabriel Tallent - the topic of child sexual abuse written in the perspective of a young girl, Turtle, and her relationship with her father, Martin, who is responsible for abusing her. As she develops, she becomes more aware of her situation and the precarious horrors that she faces.
The major issue here is the gratuitous language used by the author, to describe Turtle's violent circumstance - it almost sounds pornographic rather than terrifying. While I can see Tallent's attempts to show Turtle internalising the language used by her father, it becomes overused and cliched. The pair are portrayed as gun-toting, hill-billy, survivalists and at one point, are even seen to read Deliverance. It is hyperbolic by the end in her bid to find justice, and for many survivors - this just isn't the case.
It does make sense why so many women have criticised his writing, he should probably try to stick to something a little closer to home.
The major issue here is the gratuitous language used by the author, to describe Turtle's violent circumstance - it almost sounds pornographic rather than terrifying. While I can see Tallent's attempts to show Turtle internalising the language used by her father, it becomes overused and cliched. The pair are portrayed as gun-toting, hill-billy, survivalists and at one point, are even seen to read Deliverance. It is hyperbolic by the end in her bid to find justice, and for many survivors - this just isn't the case.
It does make sense why so many women have criticised his writing, he should probably try to stick to something a little closer to home.
Daniel Boyd (1066 KP) rated Straight Outta Compton by NWA in Music
Nov 2, 2017 (Updated Nov 2, 2017)
Something To Say
I still remember the first time I heard this record and I listened to it all the way through lying in bed. Eminem was my gateway into rap music when I was in my early teens, which inevitably led onto Tupac, Snoop Dogg, Biggie, Public Enemy and the like, but when I first heard Straight Outta Compton it was like being taken on a journey in the back seat of some banged up car around the burnt out, bullet ridden streets of Compton, CA. Some people may sneer at the inclusion of this album and claim that it doesn’t deserve to be admired due to its glorification of gang violence, sexual abuse and murder. However this album isn’t glorious in any way, NWA aren’t boasting about this kind of behaviour taking place in their hometown, they’re condemning it. This is an album born out of frustration, dissatisfaction and fury for the kind of environment that these guys were brought up in and it is actually inspiring in a lot of ways to kids that come from areas where their friends are getting shot night after night and with the current situation in some American states, this album is probably more relevant than ever. The album does generalise, but it also speaks the truth, there is no denying that the US police were and still are largely made up of racist bigots that abuse the power that they are given. Drugs, sexism and violence are simply a part of the culture in some of the poorer parts of modern America and this album doesn’t shy away from that, it wears its heart on its sleeve and I think that it is one of the most powerful statements to come out of modern music and one that is unfortunately still just as relevant today, 29 years later.
Isabel Smith (34 KP) rated Here We Lie in Books
Jun 24, 2018
Two Worlds Collide
Megan Mazeros and Lauren Mabrey are polar opposites. While Megan comes from a middle-class family in Kansas, Lauren hails from a wealthy Connecticut-based family. While Megan’s father slowly succumbed to mesothelioma which he referred to as the poor man’s cancer, Lauren’s father is a well-liked U.S. Senator with all the rights and privileges pertaining thereto. While Megan has to use her father’s life insurance money to pay for tuition and housing at Keale College (a prestigious, private, and all-girls school), Lauren is given a continual allowance that gets her through her college years with utmost ease. When they meet during their freshman year at Keale College, they unexpectedly become the best of friends. Sharing clothes, secrets, roommates, ambitions, and more, the pair goes through many ups and downs in their friendship during the following years. But one fateful night while they’re vacationing with Lauren's family on an island off the coast of Maine, something terrible happens to Megan and their friendship is irreparably damaged afterwards.
Told in an alternating first-person perspective between Megan and Lauren, Here We Lie is a powerful and relevant story about friendship, betrayal, political scandal, and abuse. I enjoyed everything about it, from the back-and-forth jumps between past and present to the incredible growth of both the main characters. The narrative is fast-paced and compelling, and the ending is beautiful and inspiring. With the rise of the #MeToo movement in the present-day world, Paula Treick DeBoard’s incredibly timely latest novel is sure to spark plenty of conversation about sexual abuse victims and perpetrators, motivation for reform and accountability, and at the very least food for thought.
Told in an alternating first-person perspective between Megan and Lauren, Here We Lie is a powerful and relevant story about friendship, betrayal, political scandal, and abuse. I enjoyed everything about it, from the back-and-forth jumps between past and present to the incredible growth of both the main characters. The narrative is fast-paced and compelling, and the ending is beautiful and inspiring. With the rise of the #MeToo movement in the present-day world, Paula Treick DeBoard’s incredibly timely latest novel is sure to spark plenty of conversation about sexual abuse victims and perpetrators, motivation for reform and accountability, and at the very least food for thought.
Kristy H (1252 KP) rated Under Currents in Books
Apr 1, 2021
A tense yet romantic read
This is the twenty-first book in my #atozchallenge! I'm challenging myself to read a book from my shelves that starts with each letter of the alphabet. Let's clear those shelves and delve into that backlist!
To an outsider, the Bigelows look like a perfect family: loving parents, two kids, beautiful home. But elder son Zane knows better, as he suffers verbal and physical abuse at the hands of his father, a surgeon. The family keeps their secrets close until one evening when everything comes out in the open and all changes. Years later, Zane returns to his hometown, determined to put the past behind him. He meets a landscape artist, Darby McCray, who has her own dark past. Together, the two must figure out if they are able to leave their secrets and horrible memories behind and forge a life together.
I'm honestly not sure if I've read a Nora Roberts book before, but picked this off my shelves for my A to Z challenge. It was one of those slightly over-the-top yet engaging books that sucks you in quickly with its story. It begins when Zane and his sister, Britt, are kids and moves on from there. It's a bit long--as it moved from section to section I was surprised there was more to keep going. A lot of that is due to descriptions of the North Carolina town, pontificating about landscaping, etc.
But it's still a book that held my interest. There's a crackling tension in the early piece, when Zane is merciless at the hands of his horrible, abusive father. As he ages, the tension recedes somewhat, but the book is still full of violent episodes. In fact, I would wonder if the town was cursed, based on how much brutality occurs in such a short period of time, but perhaps that's just me. Still, you can't help but be swept up in the various dramas, as well as Zane and Darby's relationship. The supporting cast is excellent as well, especially Zane's aunt, Emily; the local police chief; and some of Zane's friends.
Overall, a heartbreaking yet powerful read. It ended a bit abruptly for my taste, but I liked the characters and intensity of the story. (Please note: trigger warnings for sexual assault, spousal abuse/familial abuse, gay slurs.)
To an outsider, the Bigelows look like a perfect family: loving parents, two kids, beautiful home. But elder son Zane knows better, as he suffers verbal and physical abuse at the hands of his father, a surgeon. The family keeps their secrets close until one evening when everything comes out in the open and all changes. Years later, Zane returns to his hometown, determined to put the past behind him. He meets a landscape artist, Darby McCray, who has her own dark past. Together, the two must figure out if they are able to leave their secrets and horrible memories behind and forge a life together.
I'm honestly not sure if I've read a Nora Roberts book before, but picked this off my shelves for my A to Z challenge. It was one of those slightly over-the-top yet engaging books that sucks you in quickly with its story. It begins when Zane and his sister, Britt, are kids and moves on from there. It's a bit long--as it moved from section to section I was surprised there was more to keep going. A lot of that is due to descriptions of the North Carolina town, pontificating about landscaping, etc.
But it's still a book that held my interest. There's a crackling tension in the early piece, when Zane is merciless at the hands of his horrible, abusive father. As he ages, the tension recedes somewhat, but the book is still full of violent episodes. In fact, I would wonder if the town was cursed, based on how much brutality occurs in such a short period of time, but perhaps that's just me. Still, you can't help but be swept up in the various dramas, as well as Zane and Darby's relationship. The supporting cast is excellent as well, especially Zane's aunt, Emily; the local police chief; and some of Zane's friends.
Overall, a heartbreaking yet powerful read. It ended a bit abruptly for my taste, but I liked the characters and intensity of the story. (Please note: trigger warnings for sexual assault, spousal abuse/familial abuse, gay slurs.)
Sexist, self-absorbed codswallop
This is probably one of the worst books I've read this year unfortunately. It's full of contradictions, too many to go through each and every one. But here are a few.
For one, it claims to be an anti-self-help book but in fact it is, not only that it repeats phrases that other books use often but it reiterates it in a much more uglier fashion by replacing every other word with "f**k".
Secondly, the author is actually incredibly sexist throughout the whole book - revealing that this book is for a privileged white, male audience. He flashes his wealth throughout the book by even saying "I come from a wealthy family" and 'this doesn't apply to an Indian family who need an extra $10'. And then talks about his sexual exploits with women, saying that one of his former goals was to "be with more women" - like women are collective objects. He's boastful about sleeping around throughout, referring to women in a derogatory way.
The chapter on false memories and child sexual abuse is shocking, absolutely no disclaimers, just a rookie spouting off information that he clearly had no idea about. He discounts thousands of horrific accounts as if they're something imagined up and to be gotten over with. An extremely precarious viewpoint.
The irony is that the author describes himself perfectly here: "People declare themselves experts, entrepreneurs, inventors, innovators, mavericks, and coaches without any real-life experience. And they do this not because they actually think they are greater than everybody else; they do it because they feel that they need to be great to be accepted in a world that broadcasts only the extraordinary." And this pretty much sums up the book.
For one, it claims to be an anti-self-help book but in fact it is, not only that it repeats phrases that other books use often but it reiterates it in a much more uglier fashion by replacing every other word with "f**k".
Secondly, the author is actually incredibly sexist throughout the whole book - revealing that this book is for a privileged white, male audience. He flashes his wealth throughout the book by even saying "I come from a wealthy family" and 'this doesn't apply to an Indian family who need an extra $10'. And then talks about his sexual exploits with women, saying that one of his former goals was to "be with more women" - like women are collective objects. He's boastful about sleeping around throughout, referring to women in a derogatory way.
The chapter on false memories and child sexual abuse is shocking, absolutely no disclaimers, just a rookie spouting off information that he clearly had no idea about. He discounts thousands of horrific accounts as if they're something imagined up and to be gotten over with. An extremely precarious viewpoint.
The irony is that the author describes himself perfectly here: "People declare themselves experts, entrepreneurs, inventors, innovators, mavericks, and coaches without any real-life experience. And they do this not because they actually think they are greater than everybody else; they do it because they feel that they need to be great to be accepted in a world that broadcasts only the extraordinary." And this pretty much sums up the book.