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On the Road
Book
Want to know what really goes on during an Olly Murs UK tour? Then get the lowdown in my new book,...
Speed Racer (2008)
6.8
Rate It
Movie Watch
Born to race cars, Speed Racer (Emile Hirsch) is aggressive, instinctive and, most of all, fearless....
Sarah (7800 KP) rated Gemini Man (2019) in Movies
Jun 22, 2020
Another lacklustre Smith film
I feel a little sorry for Will Smith. He had some big hits back in the day but with the exception of Concussion, most of his recent efforts have been pretty poor. And sadly Gemini Man is no exception.
This didn’t appeal when it came out at the cinema, but as it’s now on Sky Cinema I figured I may as well give it go... and it turned out to be the longest and dullest action film I’ve seen in a long time. The action scenes are pretty decent in all fairness and has some impressive fight choreography (without the dodgy shaky cam that rubbish choreography is plagued by). The CGI is good in parts and the younger version of Will Smith is well done, although some of this CGI does look a bit dodgy when it gets a little close up. The overall look of the film though is quite good and there is some good cinematography but it does give off a premium tv show feel rather than a proper film.
The rest of this film though is rather poor. The script is terrible and the entire thing is very lacklustre and dull, I’ve never seen an action film so boring before. Even the plot feels like it’s been done many times before (except for the clone thing) and isn’t anything new. So glad I didn't watch this at the cinema as I probably would’ve fallen asleep.
This didn’t appeal when it came out at the cinema, but as it’s now on Sky Cinema I figured I may as well give it go... and it turned out to be the longest and dullest action film I’ve seen in a long time. The action scenes are pretty decent in all fairness and has some impressive fight choreography (without the dodgy shaky cam that rubbish choreography is plagued by). The CGI is good in parts and the younger version of Will Smith is well done, although some of this CGI does look a bit dodgy when it gets a little close up. The overall look of the film though is quite good and there is some good cinematography but it does give off a premium tv show feel rather than a proper film.
The rest of this film though is rather poor. The script is terrible and the entire thing is very lacklustre and dull, I’ve never seen an action film so boring before. Even the plot feels like it’s been done many times before (except for the clone thing) and isn’t anything new. So glad I didn't watch this at the cinema as I probably would’ve fallen asleep.
Sarah (7800 KP) rated Doom: Annihilation (2019) in Movies
Jul 19, 2020
Pretty dire
Let’s be honest, the first Doom film was never going to win any Oscars but it at least had a lot of cheesy and fun charm alongside a fairly star studded cast. Sadly this reboot has no such qualities.
To start with, you can tell this is a very low budget film. The whole thing just looks cheap, from the poorly built sets to the costumes and props. It just has an overall feel of a cheap made for TV movie. And then there’s the cast and the script, both of which are incredibly dire. The acting for the most part is terrible, although I did have a soft spot for the rather over the top and hilarious Australian Winslow. One good thing about this is they at least use mostly physical effects, which is probably because the CGI is awful when it is eventually used. That said, some of the physical effects are pretty atrocious too. The creatures when they eventually show up (after the weird zombie like creatures that aren’t Doom in the slightest), they’re obviously just a bloke in a suit and a very badly made suit at that. The creatures aren’t scary, they’re just funny and actually reminded me of the bad guys you used to see on Power Rangers.
There are some films that are so bad they’re good, but sadly this isn’t one of them. This is just plain awful and really didn’t need to be made.
To start with, you can tell this is a very low budget film. The whole thing just looks cheap, from the poorly built sets to the costumes and props. It just has an overall feel of a cheap made for TV movie. And then there’s the cast and the script, both of which are incredibly dire. The acting for the most part is terrible, although I did have a soft spot for the rather over the top and hilarious Australian Winslow. One good thing about this is they at least use mostly physical effects, which is probably because the CGI is awful when it is eventually used. That said, some of the physical effects are pretty atrocious too. The creatures when they eventually show up (after the weird zombie like creatures that aren’t Doom in the slightest), they’re obviously just a bloke in a suit and a very badly made suit at that. The creatures aren’t scary, they’re just funny and actually reminded me of the bad guys you used to see on Power Rangers.
There are some films that are so bad they’re good, but sadly this isn’t one of them. This is just plain awful and really didn’t need to be made.
Ginger Geezer: The Life of Vivian Stanshall
Chris Welch and Lucian Randall
Book
The extraordinary story of Vivian Stanshall, lead singer of the Bonzo Dog Doo-Dah Band, true British...
The Madness of Modern Parenting
Book
Parenting in the modern world is an overwhelming concept. It seems to divide everyone from...
AG
Archaeology, Geo-Science, and the Holocaust: Finding Rhodes and Vilna
Book
In summer 2016 acclaimed archaeologist Richard Freund and his team made news worldwide when they...
Eat Me: A Natural and Unnatural History of Cannibalism
Book
Cannibalism. It's the last, greatest taboo: the stuff of urban legends and ancient myths, airline...
Phillip McSween (751 KP) rated Dark Star (1974) in Movies
Jan 7, 2021
What Resolution?
Satirical movie revolving around bumbling astronauts on a mission to destroy rogue planets.
Acting: 8
Beginning: 0
Characters: 3
I honestly couldn’t tell you one redeeming thing about these characters. About the only redeeming quality was the weird ball monster that appears throughout Dark Star. Seriously, none of these characters sparked the slightest bit of interest for me.
Cinematography/Visuals: 8
I will say not bad for 1974, a year before the release of Star Wars. You get a legit space feel with this crew and I enjoyed the setpieces on-ship. The ball monster (again with this guy) was a bit offputting, but not a terrible job otherwise.
Conflict: 6
Entertainment Value: 4
Memorability: 8
Pace: 10
Sure it’s a kooky movie and you never truly understand what’s going on, but at least it’s a quick eighty-three minutes. Moves pretty quickly by the time it’s all said and done.
Plot: 3
Even after doing a quick Wiki search, I was still lost of what was going on. Just a bunch of weirdo shit happening that is random and not enjoyable. I’ve seen weird but this takes the cake.
Resolution: 0
Overall: 50
Say what you want about my scoring system, this movie got a zero in two categories and still managed to walk away with a 50. It starts off terribly and doesn’t get much better after that. Do yourself a favor and steer clear.
Acting: 8
Beginning: 0
Characters: 3
I honestly couldn’t tell you one redeeming thing about these characters. About the only redeeming quality was the weird ball monster that appears throughout Dark Star. Seriously, none of these characters sparked the slightest bit of interest for me.
Cinematography/Visuals: 8
I will say not bad for 1974, a year before the release of Star Wars. You get a legit space feel with this crew and I enjoyed the setpieces on-ship. The ball monster (again with this guy) was a bit offputting, but not a terrible job otherwise.
Conflict: 6
Entertainment Value: 4
Memorability: 8
Pace: 10
Sure it’s a kooky movie and you never truly understand what’s going on, but at least it’s a quick eighty-three minutes. Moves pretty quickly by the time it’s all said and done.
Plot: 3
Even after doing a quick Wiki search, I was still lost of what was going on. Just a bunch of weirdo shit happening that is random and not enjoyable. I’ve seen weird but this takes the cake.
Resolution: 0
Overall: 50
Say what you want about my scoring system, this movie got a zero in two categories and still managed to walk away with a 50. It starts off terribly and doesn’t get much better after that. Do yourself a favor and steer clear.
LeftSideCut (3776 KP) rated Jason X (2001) in Movies
Feb 1, 2021
Jason X might be trash, but by God its glorious trash.
At this point, we're in full blown "fuck whatever has happened in the previous films" territory, with liberal splashings of narrative bullshit just to get Jason into a space setting, as he's cryogenically frozen only to be unwittingly thawed 450 years later aboard a spaceship, where he is snapped out of his slumber by teenagers shagging in another room. It's damn good then, that Jason X knows just how silly it is. The first Friday the 13th movie to release in a post Scream landscape, its self awareness gives it a much needed pass, as Jason slashes his way through a suspiciously 2000s looking cast.
The set looks cheap as hell, the CGI is terrible, the script is overspilling with cheesy one liners and puns, most of the characters are generally forgettable or unlikable, but despite all of this, it's an incredibly enjoyable film. Kane Hodder is back (sadly, for the last time movie wise) as Jason and once again cuts an imposing figure (especially when Uber Jason infamously rocks up near the films climax) and just to top it off, there's an inexplicable David Cronenberg cameo near the beginning.
Jason X is obviously flawed, but it's a damn good time, isn't boring, and boasts some decent gore. A two star film that I would recommend to anyone. Final thought - it's weird that Jason has a full head of hair in this...
At this point, we're in full blown "fuck whatever has happened in the previous films" territory, with liberal splashings of narrative bullshit just to get Jason into a space setting, as he's cryogenically frozen only to be unwittingly thawed 450 years later aboard a spaceship, where he is snapped out of his slumber by teenagers shagging in another room. It's damn good then, that Jason X knows just how silly it is. The first Friday the 13th movie to release in a post Scream landscape, its self awareness gives it a much needed pass, as Jason slashes his way through a suspiciously 2000s looking cast.
The set looks cheap as hell, the CGI is terrible, the script is overspilling with cheesy one liners and puns, most of the characters are generally forgettable or unlikable, but despite all of this, it's an incredibly enjoyable film. Kane Hodder is back (sadly, for the last time movie wise) as Jason and once again cuts an imposing figure (especially when Uber Jason infamously rocks up near the films climax) and just to top it off, there's an inexplicable David Cronenberg cameo near the beginning.
Jason X is obviously flawed, but it's a damn good time, isn't boring, and boasts some decent gore. A two star film that I would recommend to anyone. Final thought - it's weird that Jason has a full head of hair in this...
