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Half Of What You Hear
8.0
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From well-loved women’s fiction writer Kristyn Kusek Lewis comes a breakout novel about a woman...
Amish Celebrations: 4 Novels
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The Gift of Sisters Hannah and Elizabeth are fraternal twins approaching their sixteenth...
Kristy H (1252 KP) rated He Gets That From Me in Books
Sep 30, 2021
Maggie is a young mom who dreams of going to college. But her current life--toiling at a grocery store while her boyfriend works as a chef--can't support her dreams. When she sees an ad about becoming a surrogate, and sees how much it could pay, Maggie wonders if this could solve all her problems. Her boyfriend, Nick, is reluctant, but Maggie decides to go for it. She winds up being selected by a loving gay couple, Chip and Donovan, from New York. Maggie delivers their beautiful twin boys, and everyone is happy. But ten years later, she gets a call from the fertility clinic that will change her life.
This is a mesmerizing book that pulls you in from the beginning. It's extremely easy-to-read, and the story basically tells itself. I was immediately attached to Chip and Donovan and their family. The story is told from Donovan's POV and Maggie's. Through Donovan, we learn about their family, their pasts, and how much they love their boys. When they end up having DNA tests done on the twins, it upends things and forces Donovan, especially, to rethink so much of what he took for granted. I wanted to like Maggie more than I did; she didn't come across as a consistent character, which was frustrating for me.
DNA stories are certainly the fad the right now. My biggest issue with this book, was, paradoxically, the part I also liked the most, and that was the inclusion of Donovan and Chip's story. As best I can tell, Friedland is a straight woman, and, as a member of the LGBTQIA community, I'm not sure I felt fully comfortable with her including a gay couple in her story. We have enough problems with our families being accepted without them being told in such a "Lifetime movie" fashion--especially by someone who isn't part of our community. This story could have been told just as easily without including a gay couple. It's probably something that wouldn't occur to most readers, but it just rubbed me the wrong way.
Otherwise, this book does make you think and it makes some good points about the meaning of family. It's a fast read, but I just felt a little off overall when I finished it. 3 stars.
I received a copy of this book from SparkPress and Netgalley in return for an unbiased review.
This is a mesmerizing book that pulls you in from the beginning. It's extremely easy-to-read, and the story basically tells itself. I was immediately attached to Chip and Donovan and their family. The story is told from Donovan's POV and Maggie's. Through Donovan, we learn about their family, their pasts, and how much they love their boys. When they end up having DNA tests done on the twins, it upends things and forces Donovan, especially, to rethink so much of what he took for granted. I wanted to like Maggie more than I did; she didn't come across as a consistent character, which was frustrating for me.
DNA stories are certainly the fad the right now. My biggest issue with this book, was, paradoxically, the part I also liked the most, and that was the inclusion of Donovan and Chip's story. As best I can tell, Friedland is a straight woman, and, as a member of the LGBTQIA community, I'm not sure I felt fully comfortable with her including a gay couple in her story. We have enough problems with our families being accepted without them being told in such a "Lifetime movie" fashion--especially by someone who isn't part of our community. This story could have been told just as easily without including a gay couple. It's probably something that wouldn't occur to most readers, but it just rubbed me the wrong way.
Otherwise, this book does make you think and it makes some good points about the meaning of family. It's a fast read, but I just felt a little off overall when I finished it. 3 stars.
I received a copy of this book from SparkPress and Netgalley in return for an unbiased review.
Hadley (567 KP) rated Cigarette Teeth in Books
Dec 4, 2020
Great writing (1 more)
Amazing descriptions
In this day-and-age, everyone is willing to do anything to get what they want. People leave their morals and values behind at the drop of a hat. Partly, because of this, mental illness is at an all-time high and happiness is at an all-time low.
What if I told you there was a phone number you could call that would give you whatever you wanted...for a simple favor in return? Enter : Cigarette Teeth. The horror novel concerns two different places that exist in our world: the Pleasure Palace, where the Magician resides in an overcast of red light where he helps make peoples' 'dreams' come true, and our reality - - - the world as we've grown to know it.
Our main character, Mike Hadley, can't remember his past or how he ended up working for the Magician, but he's more than happy to do what he's told in Cigarette Teeth. Some things seem familiar to him, like his working partner, Tommy; but if you asked him what he did last night for the Magician, he wouldn't be able to tell you or remember it himself. Harper, a man Hadley meets early on in the story, who is the stereo-typical hardened detective, tells Hadley that he knows that the Pleasure Palace has been the cause of hundreds of disappearances - - - including Harper's own brother and sister- - - and demands that Hadley help him get into the Palace to find them.
Hadley is kidnapped by Harper while people working for the Pleasure Palace begin to come after them, trying to kill them. Unlike Hadley, Harper has done a lot of detective work on the Pleasure Palace and knows much more than he does. For Hadley, a lot of things begin to make sense and no sense at the same time, like people who work for the Pleasure Palace can't die, instead they regenerate in a very gruesome way- - - something he had never seen happen before. Now, being away from the Palace, whenever Hadley falls asleep, memories start to come back to him in the form of dreams; most of them take place in metaphorical places that slowly unwrap his tragic past to the reader.
I often found myself fascinated by the characters Hewish came up with that live in the Pleasure Palace. One being the Zipper Sisters: "Kela and and Lua Von Zipper. Conjoined twins; connected at the hip and zipped into the one gigantic pinched- leather corset. Two heads, two arms, and four legs, all sealed in an ornate, Victorian-style leather dress hemmed with black lace.
Their makeup was corpse-white, their lipstick blood red. Their eyes were shadowed with a weeping pastel green, like something from a carnival sideshow. Their 18th-century dress continued with ruffles and lacy stockings, all the colour of snow. The two pairs of shoes they wore- - - shiny little school shoes, the ones with the clasps over the top- - - completed the look. It gave these sinister twins a suggested air of innocence- - - the filthiest of lies. "
When the pair meet with the Architect of the Pleasure Palace (Horitoshi Li), the story really begins to take off. The information given to them by Li about the Magician is the real start to their journey to stop the Palace and find Harper's missing siblings, as long as they include Li in the plan.
As expected, a friend of Harper's, named Sophie, gets caught up in their journey- - - saving their lives more than once, thanks to her nursing background. Sophie felt like a filler character at first, but in the end, I think she was needed to make the story well-rounded, like her insight of psychology: "...But...it's just interesting. Did you know the second most common dream people have is about their teeth? After the 'being chased' phenomenon that usually coincides with a hallway and a door. Most notable psychologists don't really offer insight on dreams- - - the most popular consensus is that they're nothing more than cerebral static, just garbled images and words that occasionally form to make something that seems to have weight..."
Though I want to say so much more about the novel, it would give away a lot of the surprises that are hidden inside. Hewish's writing is gold; the way he describes scenes is beautifully done, but he did waste some of this talent on places where the characters weren't even there for more than a scene (and nothing really came of it). Also, Harper states one time early in the book that he has killed Hadley before... this is never explained or spoken of again. I think that was a very important part to this story, especially with how things turn out between Harper and Hadley.
There were only a few inconsistencies that are completely able to be looked over and don't ruin the novel. This is master storytelling, and I am looking very forward to more work by Hewish! I would recommend this book to fans of the show "Twin Peaks," and the video game (because I love horror video games) "Evil Within." Highly recommend!
What if I told you there was a phone number you could call that would give you whatever you wanted...for a simple favor in return? Enter : Cigarette Teeth. The horror novel concerns two different places that exist in our world: the Pleasure Palace, where the Magician resides in an overcast of red light where he helps make peoples' 'dreams' come true, and our reality - - - the world as we've grown to know it.
Our main character, Mike Hadley, can't remember his past or how he ended up working for the Magician, but he's more than happy to do what he's told in Cigarette Teeth. Some things seem familiar to him, like his working partner, Tommy; but if you asked him what he did last night for the Magician, he wouldn't be able to tell you or remember it himself. Harper, a man Hadley meets early on in the story, who is the stereo-typical hardened detective, tells Hadley that he knows that the Pleasure Palace has been the cause of hundreds of disappearances - - - including Harper's own brother and sister- - - and demands that Hadley help him get into the Palace to find them.
Hadley is kidnapped by Harper while people working for the Pleasure Palace begin to come after them, trying to kill them. Unlike Hadley, Harper has done a lot of detective work on the Pleasure Palace and knows much more than he does. For Hadley, a lot of things begin to make sense and no sense at the same time, like people who work for the Pleasure Palace can't die, instead they regenerate in a very gruesome way- - - something he had never seen happen before. Now, being away from the Palace, whenever Hadley falls asleep, memories start to come back to him in the form of dreams; most of them take place in metaphorical places that slowly unwrap his tragic past to the reader.
I often found myself fascinated by the characters Hewish came up with that live in the Pleasure Palace. One being the Zipper Sisters: "Kela and and Lua Von Zipper. Conjoined twins; connected at the hip and zipped into the one gigantic pinched- leather corset. Two heads, two arms, and four legs, all sealed in an ornate, Victorian-style leather dress hemmed with black lace.
Their makeup was corpse-white, their lipstick blood red. Their eyes were shadowed with a weeping pastel green, like something from a carnival sideshow. Their 18th-century dress continued with ruffles and lacy stockings, all the colour of snow. The two pairs of shoes they wore- - - shiny little school shoes, the ones with the clasps over the top- - - completed the look. It gave these sinister twins a suggested air of innocence- - - the filthiest of lies. "
When the pair meet with the Architect of the Pleasure Palace (Horitoshi Li), the story really begins to take off. The information given to them by Li about the Magician is the real start to their journey to stop the Palace and find Harper's missing siblings, as long as they include Li in the plan.
As expected, a friend of Harper's, named Sophie, gets caught up in their journey- - - saving their lives more than once, thanks to her nursing background. Sophie felt like a filler character at first, but in the end, I think she was needed to make the story well-rounded, like her insight of psychology: "...But...it's just interesting. Did you know the second most common dream people have is about their teeth? After the 'being chased' phenomenon that usually coincides with a hallway and a door. Most notable psychologists don't really offer insight on dreams- - - the most popular consensus is that they're nothing more than cerebral static, just garbled images and words that occasionally form to make something that seems to have weight..."
Though I want to say so much more about the novel, it would give away a lot of the surprises that are hidden inside. Hewish's writing is gold; the way he describes scenes is beautifully done, but he did waste some of this talent on places where the characters weren't even there for more than a scene (and nothing really came of it). Also, Harper states one time early in the book that he has killed Hadley before... this is never explained or spoken of again. I think that was a very important part to this story, especially with how things turn out between Harper and Hadley.
There were only a few inconsistencies that are completely able to be looked over and don't ruin the novel. This is master storytelling, and I am looking very forward to more work by Hewish! I would recommend this book to fans of the show "Twin Peaks," and the video game (because I love horror video games) "Evil Within." Highly recommend!
Sophia (Bookwyrming Thoughts) (530 KP) rated Darkness Watching (Darkworld, #1) in Books
Jan 23, 2020
THIS IS AN ADVANCE REVIEW. Date to be posted on <a title="Darkness Watching by Emma L. Adams" href="http://bookwyrming-thoughts.blogspot.com/2013/12/review-darkness-watching-by-emma-l-adams.html">Bookwyrming Thoughts</a>: October 10, 2014
Note: Formatting and pictures are lost due to copy and paste.
<i><b>Disclaimer:</b> Review copy provided by Curiosity Quills Press via Netgalley for review Thanks!</i>
Okay, wow. I'm so behind with writing reviews, I kind of slacked off a little... along with other factors (the not so controllable factors).
On the bright side, I actually did catch up with my reading schedule during Thanksgiving Break. Like I said, best thing ever invented. The inventor deserves a hug.
Back to talking about Darkness Watching. It's a very interesting and unique concept with demons and sorcerers/magic-users (it could be witches. Most common name used throughout the book are those two, so feel free to correct me) in a school setting well, particularly a college setting. It's making me a bit curious about how the British school system works. Well, I'm a tad bit confused on that... the dictionary wasn't and isn't entirely friendly. I might understand the book better then.
*brushes off and doesn't even count since it's a random, erudite-ish thought of mine...*
Speaking of the book's setting, it seems that most of the time, the characters are in a club. And getting drunk. Not that the main character, Ashlyn (aka Ash), is.... but speaking of Ash, she seems to be the type that easily succumbs to peer pressure. She is still, however, a strong heroine.
Random thought, but Leo apparently reminds me of Rick Riordan's Leo Valdez from The Heroes of Olympus series. Their humor and personality and their namesake! (now I just need to find out if this particular Leo is Spanish...) are almost the same, they could probably pass as twins.
Imagine that. A demigod and a sorcerer.... O_o It's not a bad thing; I kind of enjoy Leo as a character (from both series now). :3
In terms of grammar, it's virtually spotless, aside from a few tiny mistakes here and there. Nothing distracting though (I'm assuming it's not an ARC since it was on Netgalley after the publication date...). :)
In the overall view though, I enjoyed reading Darkness Watching; it's a fresh take with the combinations of demons and sorcerers/magic-users!
<blockquote>Not everyone runs screaming out of their interview.</blockquote>
Note: Formatting and pictures are lost due to copy and paste.
<i><b>Disclaimer:</b> Review copy provided by Curiosity Quills Press via Netgalley for review Thanks!</i>
Okay, wow. I'm so behind with writing reviews, I kind of slacked off a little... along with other factors (the not so controllable factors).
On the bright side, I actually did catch up with my reading schedule during Thanksgiving Break. Like I said, best thing ever invented. The inventor deserves a hug.
Back to talking about Darkness Watching. It's a very interesting and unique concept with demons and sorcerers/magic-users (it could be witches. Most common name used throughout the book are those two, so feel free to correct me) in a school setting well, particularly a college setting. It's making me a bit curious about how the British school system works. Well, I'm a tad bit confused on that... the dictionary wasn't and isn't entirely friendly. I might understand the book better then.
*brushes off and doesn't even count since it's a random, erudite-ish thought of mine...*
Speaking of the book's setting, it seems that most of the time, the characters are in a club. And getting drunk. Not that the main character, Ashlyn (aka Ash), is.... but speaking of Ash, she seems to be the type that easily succumbs to peer pressure. She is still, however, a strong heroine.
Random thought, but Leo apparently reminds me of Rick Riordan's Leo Valdez from The Heroes of Olympus series. Their humor and personality and their namesake! (now I just need to find out if this particular Leo is Spanish...) are almost the same, they could probably pass as twins.
Imagine that. A demigod and a sorcerer.... O_o It's not a bad thing; I kind of enjoy Leo as a character (from both series now). :3
In terms of grammar, it's virtually spotless, aside from a few tiny mistakes here and there. Nothing distracting though (I'm assuming it's not an ARC since it was on Netgalley after the publication date...). :)
In the overall view though, I enjoyed reading Darkness Watching; it's a fresh take with the combinations of demons and sorcerers/magic-users!
<blockquote>Not everyone runs screaming out of their interview.</blockquote>
Gareth von Kallenbach (980 KP) rated How to Train Your Dragon 2 (2014) in Movies
Aug 6, 2019
In 2010, the most unlikely Viking proved that dragons and humans can co-exist in the first How To Train Your Dragon film. Set five years after the original movie, How to Train Your Dragon 2 opens up on the Village of Berk where Vikings and dragons have developed a fond relationship. Hiccup (Jay Baruchel), the nerdy chieftain’s son, is now a few years older and has made himself a winged suit and spends his days soaring the skies with his beloved dragon, Toothless. This film brings together the original gang of friends, Astrid (America Ferrera), Fishlegs (Christopher Mintz-Plasse), Snotlout (Jonah Hill), and twins Ruffnut and Tuffnut (Kristen Wiig and TJ Miller). Still at odds with his expectations, Hiccup’s father Stoick (Gerard Butler) demands that he begins the preparations and training to follow in his footsteps and become chief of their Village. This is not the future Hiccup sees for himself, he and Toothless flee the Village and explore the world and stumble upon a cave full of dragons and encounter a Mysterious Dragon Rider (Cate Blanchett), with a similar affinity for dragons. Hiccup has realized that war still exists between dragons and men beyond the borders of his Village. He attempts to negotiate peace with dragon-hunter Drago (Djimon Hounsou), who is threatening to invade the village with his army.
Writer/director Dean DeBlois helms the reins on this one; he has opened up the story without losing the tone of the original. The true delight is in the details, the visual effects are stunning; a prime example of how much computer generated animation has progressed in such a short amount of time. From the diverse landscapes to the design of the characters were absolutely breathtaking. Even the most minute details, such as the texture from the armor, to the scales on the dragons, even the battles scars on the soldiers are so vividly expressed, they assisted in creating the most dramatic and heartfelt moments.
The overall theme has matured from the first film with a continually surprising plot. In the first go around, Hiccup learned to be himself; in this installment Hiccup is taught to become a better version of himself when those unbreakable bonds are tested, and the line between good vs. evil is skewed.
I wouldn’t say there is much training in the sequel, however there is still a wonderful message of friendship, love, and loyalty. Some of the material may be a little too dark, and there were moments that spent way too much time developing the characters which can be pretty taxing for young children.
A worthy follow up….
Writer/director Dean DeBlois helms the reins on this one; he has opened up the story without losing the tone of the original. The true delight is in the details, the visual effects are stunning; a prime example of how much computer generated animation has progressed in such a short amount of time. From the diverse landscapes to the design of the characters were absolutely breathtaking. Even the most minute details, such as the texture from the armor, to the scales on the dragons, even the battles scars on the soldiers are so vividly expressed, they assisted in creating the most dramatic and heartfelt moments.
The overall theme has matured from the first film with a continually surprising plot. In the first go around, Hiccup learned to be himself; in this installment Hiccup is taught to become a better version of himself when those unbreakable bonds are tested, and the line between good vs. evil is skewed.
I wouldn’t say there is much training in the sequel, however there is still a wonderful message of friendship, love, and loyalty. Some of the material may be a little too dark, and there were moments that spent way too much time developing the characters which can be pretty taxing for young children.
A worthy follow up….
The Queen of the Damned (The Vampire Chronicles, #3)
9.0
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In 1976, a uniquely seductive world of vampires was unveiled in the now-classic Interview with the...
Ella’s Kitchen First Foods
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Say hello to the First Foods app! 130+ yummy recipes and much, much more from Ella’s Kitchen, the...
graveyardgremlin (7194 KP) rated Sweet Valley Confidential: Ten Years Later in Books
Feb 15, 2019
<b><i>"What a stupid book."</i></b>
That was my initial thought after turning the final page of <b>Sweet Valley Confidential: Ten Years Later</b>.
As a pre-teen, I was addicted to the <u>Sweet Valley High</u> series, and then later, the <u>Sweet Valley University</u> series as well. Before that even, I had read some of the Twins and Kids series, so when I heard this was coming out last year, I just knew I had to read it. I was excited beyond compare and went into full geek-out mode. Where are the perfect size-six Wakefield twins, and their friends and enemies, now? What are their occupations? Who are they dating or who'd they marry? And my questions kept going on and on. What has inspired this obsession? It's not like these books were high literature, but somehow they became ingrained into my life to this very day and I cannot help but remember SVH fondly.
It is nearly impossible to review the story within the covers without spoilers, but I am going to try my darnedest. Some cursing may or may not be involved.
<b>Short synopsis</b> (snarky comments in parentheses ;P):
Jessica has betrayed Elizabeth. <i>(Doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out what she did. Anyone who's read the books could make an accurate guess.)</i> The Ultimate Betrayal. <i>(Oooooh!)</i> Elizabeth flees to New York. Elizabeth is a slightly sympathetic bitter victim/martyr who craves revenge throughout the book. Jessica is supposed to be a sympathetic betrayer/victim who's heartsick at destroying her sister. <i>(I don't buy it.)</i> Tons of reminiscing flashbacks ensue throughout the book, sometimes the same ones told by different characters, and take up about half of it, so there's barely any plot. Book ends with a thirteen-page <i>Where Are They Now?</i>-type epilogue that tells old fans what has happened to many major supporting characters from the original high school series. <i>(Apparently no one is allowed to be happy. And anyone you may have originally liked from SVH has turned into a big dick. WTF?)</i>
I expected to enjoy this as the usual over-the-top, soap opera stories I remember, but revamped a bit. Sadly, I was left feeling underwhelmed, disappointed, annoyed, and rather pissed off. For one thing, I could not buy the main betrayal -- <spoiler>Jessica and Todd?! In love!!?? Really? In what surreal dimension does that make any kind of sense? This broke the book for me. How can I believe anything else if this doesn't ring true. A passionate affair, sure. A one-night stand, why not? But actual 'til death do us part nonsense? Bull. Not when it's almost always been the Elizabeth and Todd, "made-for-each-other" type of thing. I actually wouldn't have minded if E & T hadn't ended up together, but for Todd to be with Jessica, that's just madness, plain and simple.</spoiler> -- it was just so unbelievable. And I mean that in a Sweet Valley way, which we all know is not steeped in any form of actual reality, so my standards are quite low and I expect the extraordinary and overwrought. So from this point on, which is within the first two chapters, I struggled, but somehow managed to read on. I admit, I gagged more than few times throughout the book. Who wouldn't when faced with passages such as this one,
<blockquote>"And what faces they were.
Gorgeous. Absolutely amazing. The kind you couldn't stop looking at. Their eyes were shades of aqua that danced in the light like shards of precious stones, oval and fringed with thick, light brown lashes long enough to cast a shadow on their cheeks. Their silky blond hair, the cascading kind, fell just below their shoulders. And to complete the perfection, their rosy lips looked as if they were penciled on. There wasn't a thing wrong with their figures, either. It was if billions of possibilities all fell together perfectly.
Twice."
-page 9/10</blockquote>
I hope you managed to hold onto your last meal. I barely did. I also had to endure "his beloved," "his love," and other similar nauseating descriptions.
This is not the PG-rated books from the past, the word "orgasm" is actually used. So is the F-bomb and other expletives. *gasp* Seriously, it does push the boundaries more than the innocent SVH series, but it's not very shocking by today's standards. Except that it does involve the Wakefield Twins, which was strange at first. Of course, current trends had to pop up, like Twitter and Facebook, Justin Timberlake and Beyonce, which always makes a book better and doesn't date it in the least. (That was heavy sarcasm in case you weren't sure.) The book does refer to some incidents and people from the SVU series, but only certain elements, otherwise it's mainly a continuation of high school and no one from the university days actually appears in the book.
Neither Elizabeth nor Jessica felt true to form, especially Jessica, and in fact, none of the characters, whether seen or just talked about, were right. Sure, some people change and some don't, but not a one was recognizable. Where did these strangers with the same names come from? Why couldn't there have been some semblance of the original shining through? Again, I have a hard time with the basis of the book, so that has severely colored my view of the entire thing, but as it stands, it was a complete waste of a good idea. I'd be willing to bet that any fan of SVH could come up with something a million times better than this dreck. Wasn't there an original ghostwriter available? You know, someone who might actually know the world and characters, and have the skill to develop them both in a believable manner?
The writing is rather clunky and purple-ly, often managing both at the same time. Redundancy abounds, editing mistakes, including wrong names and inconsistencies to previous events in SVH-iverse, and lots of use of the words "like" and "so", more-so in Jessica's narrative than anywhere else, which was really, really, so, like, irritating. Like, really. Ms. Pascal must have had a thesaurus at the ready, because there were big words awkwardly thrown into the narrative. While I appreciate authors utilizing lesser known or used words, some just don't blend well with the rest of the text and they pop-out unflatteringly. The structure needed fine-tuning and tenses were oddly used to differentiate the flashbacks from present day.
To put it succinctly, the writing isn't great and neither is the storyline, what there is of it. This was a bizarre read even by Sweet Valley standards and an insult to fans. Seriously, does Francine Pascal hate this universe and its readers? I think I'll stick to the <a href="http://www.goodreads.com/series/58723-sweet-valley-high">Sweet Valley High</a> series and make up my own stories about what happened afterward.
Slightly spoiler-ish lesson learned from this book:
<spoiler>Betrayal is okay as long as it's "Twu Luv."</spoiler>
Second lesson learned:
Everything always turns up fucking sunshine and roses and unicorns and lollipops for the worst person (or people) in the end.
I'd like to leave you with another winning description,
<blockquote>"There were no tears, but her mouth was twisted in a silent sob."
-page 17</blockquote>
<u>A thought a few hours after having finished this book:</u>
Maybe another "sequel" will eventually come out and it'll begin with Elizabeth waking up from the nightmare that is this book and we'll get the real ten years later story. Ahh, sweet dreams.
<u>Update: April 26, 2011:</u>
Oh yes, always good to blame the fans/readers for not liking their terrible book. By pointing out minor, petty reasons, I might add. <b>Warning:</b> book spoilers in article.
http://www.nytimes.com/2011/04/17/business/media/17sweet.html?_r=1
That was my initial thought after turning the final page of <b>Sweet Valley Confidential: Ten Years Later</b>.
As a pre-teen, I was addicted to the <u>Sweet Valley High</u> series, and then later, the <u>Sweet Valley University</u> series as well. Before that even, I had read some of the Twins and Kids series, so when I heard this was coming out last year, I just knew I had to read it. I was excited beyond compare and went into full geek-out mode. Where are the perfect size-six Wakefield twins, and their friends and enemies, now? What are their occupations? Who are they dating or who'd they marry? And my questions kept going on and on. What has inspired this obsession? It's not like these books were high literature, but somehow they became ingrained into my life to this very day and I cannot help but remember SVH fondly.
It is nearly impossible to review the story within the covers without spoilers, but I am going to try my darnedest. Some cursing may or may not be involved.
<b>Short synopsis</b> (snarky comments in parentheses ;P):
Jessica has betrayed Elizabeth. <i>(Doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out what she did. Anyone who's read the books could make an accurate guess.)</i> The Ultimate Betrayal. <i>(Oooooh!)</i> Elizabeth flees to New York. Elizabeth is a slightly sympathetic bitter victim/martyr who craves revenge throughout the book. Jessica is supposed to be a sympathetic betrayer/victim who's heartsick at destroying her sister. <i>(I don't buy it.)</i> Tons of reminiscing flashbacks ensue throughout the book, sometimes the same ones told by different characters, and take up about half of it, so there's barely any plot. Book ends with a thirteen-page <i>Where Are They Now?</i>-type epilogue that tells old fans what has happened to many major supporting characters from the original high school series. <i>(Apparently no one is allowed to be happy. And anyone you may have originally liked from SVH has turned into a big dick. WTF?)</i>
I expected to enjoy this as the usual over-the-top, soap opera stories I remember, but revamped a bit. Sadly, I was left feeling underwhelmed, disappointed, annoyed, and rather pissed off. For one thing, I could not buy the main betrayal -- <spoiler>Jessica and Todd?! In love!!?? Really? In what surreal dimension does that make any kind of sense? This broke the book for me. How can I believe anything else if this doesn't ring true. A passionate affair, sure. A one-night stand, why not? But actual 'til death do us part nonsense? Bull. Not when it's almost always been the Elizabeth and Todd, "made-for-each-other" type of thing. I actually wouldn't have minded if E & T hadn't ended up together, but for Todd to be with Jessica, that's just madness, plain and simple.</spoiler> -- it was just so unbelievable. And I mean that in a Sweet Valley way, which we all know is not steeped in any form of actual reality, so my standards are quite low and I expect the extraordinary and overwrought. So from this point on, which is within the first two chapters, I struggled, but somehow managed to read on. I admit, I gagged more than few times throughout the book. Who wouldn't when faced with passages such as this one,
<blockquote>"And what faces they were.
Gorgeous. Absolutely amazing. The kind you couldn't stop looking at. Their eyes were shades of aqua that danced in the light like shards of precious stones, oval and fringed with thick, light brown lashes long enough to cast a shadow on their cheeks. Their silky blond hair, the cascading kind, fell just below their shoulders. And to complete the perfection, their rosy lips looked as if they were penciled on. There wasn't a thing wrong with their figures, either. It was if billions of possibilities all fell together perfectly.
Twice."
-page 9/10</blockquote>
I hope you managed to hold onto your last meal. I barely did. I also had to endure "his beloved," "his love," and other similar nauseating descriptions.
This is not the PG-rated books from the past, the word "orgasm" is actually used. So is the F-bomb and other expletives. *gasp* Seriously, it does push the boundaries more than the innocent SVH series, but it's not very shocking by today's standards. Except that it does involve the Wakefield Twins, which was strange at first. Of course, current trends had to pop up, like Twitter and Facebook, Justin Timberlake and Beyonce, which always makes a book better and doesn't date it in the least. (That was heavy sarcasm in case you weren't sure.) The book does refer to some incidents and people from the SVU series, but only certain elements, otherwise it's mainly a continuation of high school and no one from the university days actually appears in the book.
Neither Elizabeth nor Jessica felt true to form, especially Jessica, and in fact, none of the characters, whether seen or just talked about, were right. Sure, some people change and some don't, but not a one was recognizable. Where did these strangers with the same names come from? Why couldn't there have been some semblance of the original shining through? Again, I have a hard time with the basis of the book, so that has severely colored my view of the entire thing, but as it stands, it was a complete waste of a good idea. I'd be willing to bet that any fan of SVH could come up with something a million times better than this dreck. Wasn't there an original ghostwriter available? You know, someone who might actually know the world and characters, and have the skill to develop them both in a believable manner?
The writing is rather clunky and purple-ly, often managing both at the same time. Redundancy abounds, editing mistakes, including wrong names and inconsistencies to previous events in SVH-iverse, and lots of use of the words "like" and "so", more-so in Jessica's narrative than anywhere else, which was really, really, so, like, irritating. Like, really. Ms. Pascal must have had a thesaurus at the ready, because there were big words awkwardly thrown into the narrative. While I appreciate authors utilizing lesser known or used words, some just don't blend well with the rest of the text and they pop-out unflatteringly. The structure needed fine-tuning and tenses were oddly used to differentiate the flashbacks from present day.
To put it succinctly, the writing isn't great and neither is the storyline, what there is of it. This was a bizarre read even by Sweet Valley standards and an insult to fans. Seriously, does Francine Pascal hate this universe and its readers? I think I'll stick to the <a href="http://www.goodreads.com/series/58723-sweet-valley-high">Sweet Valley High</a> series and make up my own stories about what happened afterward.
Slightly spoiler-ish lesson learned from this book:
<spoiler>Betrayal is okay as long as it's "Twu Luv."</spoiler>
Second lesson learned:
Everything always turns up fucking sunshine and roses and unicorns and lollipops for the worst person (or people) in the end.
I'd like to leave you with another winning description,
<blockquote>"There were no tears, but her mouth was twisted in a silent sob."
-page 17</blockquote>
<u>A thought a few hours after having finished this book:</u>
Maybe another "sequel" will eventually come out and it'll begin with Elizabeth waking up from the nightmare that is this book and we'll get the real ten years later story. Ahh, sweet dreams.
<u>Update: April 26, 2011:</u>
Oh yes, always good to blame the fans/readers for not liking their terrible book. By pointing out minor, petty reasons, I might add. <b>Warning:</b> book spoilers in article.
http://www.nytimes.com/2011/04/17/business/media/17sweet.html?_r=1