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Kingsman: The Golden Circle (2017)
Kingsman: The Golden Circle (2017)
2017 | Action, Comedy
Vaughn and Golding cross the pond to deliver more of the same.
You would probably need to be living under a rock not to know that “Kingsman: The Golden Circle” is the follow-up film to Matthew Vaughn and Jane Goldman’s highly successful 2015 offering “Kingsman: The Secret Service”: a raucous, violent and rude entry into the spy-caper genre. And the sequel is more of the same: why mess with a crowd-pleasing formula?

The fledgling agent Eggsy (Taron Egerton (“Eddie the Eagle“), curiously called “Eggy” at various points in the film for reasons I didn’t understand) is now the new “Galahad” following the demise in the first film of the original, played by Colin Firth (“Magic in the Moonlight“, “Bridget Jones’ Baby“). But just as he’s getting into his stride the whole Kingsman organisation, now headed by Michael Gambon (“Harry Potter”) as Arthur , is ripped apart by an evil drugs cartel called “The Golden Circle” headed by smiling but deadly Poppy (Juliane Moore, “Still Alice”).

Eggsy and Lancelot (Mark Strong, “Miss Sloane“) in desperation turn to Statesman – the US equivalent organisation – and together with some surprising allies set out to defeat the evil plot to poison all casual drug users.
Subtle this film certainly is not, featuring brash and absurdly unrealistic action scenes that are 90% CGI but – for me at least – enormous fun to watch. As with the first film (and I’m thinking of the grotesquely violent church scene here) the action moves however from ‘edgy’ to “over-the-top/offensive” at times. The ‘burger scene’ and (particularly) the ‘Glastonbury incident’ are the standout moments for all the wrong reasons. I have a theory about how these *might* have come about…
One Mann’s Movies Showcase Theatre
The scene: Matthew Vaughn and Jane Golding are working “The Golden Circle” script at Goldman’s English home.
Vaughn: “OK, so Eggsy is in the tent with Clara and needs to plant the tracking device on her.”
Goldman’s husband Jonathan Ross sticks his head round the door.
Ross: “Hey Guys, I’ve an idea about that. I was on the phone to Wussell Bwand and we came up with a GWEAT idea.”
Vaughn: (rolling his eyes, mutters to himself): “Oh God, not again…”
Ross: “We thought that Eggsy could use his finger to stick the tracker right up her – ahem – ‘lady canal’ and… and… here’s the really great bit… the camera’s gonna be his finger. A camera up the muff! It’ll be weally weally funny!”
Vaughn: “But Jonathan…”.
Goldman nudges him hard.
Goldman (whispering): “Just let it go Matthew… you know what he’s like if he doesn’t get at least a couple of his ideas into the film”.

You can only hope a stunt vagina was used for this scene, else Poppy Delavigne (older sister of Cara) is going to find it very hard to find credible future work. One can only guess what tasteful interlude is being planned for Kingsman 3 – – a prostate-based tracker perhaps?

The film works best when the core team of Taron Egerton, Mark Strong and Colin Firth (yes, Colin Firth!) are together. Jeff Bridges (“Hell or High Water“), Channing Tatum (“Foxcatcher“) and Halle Berry (“Monster’s Ball”) all turn up as key members of ‘Statesman’ – adding star power but not a lot else – together with Pedro Pascal (“The Great Wall“) as ‘Whiskey’…. who I expected to be someone equally famous behind the moustache but wasn’t!
There’s also a very entertaining cameo from a star (no spoilers from me) whose foul-mouthed tirades I found very funny, and who also has the funniest line in the film (playing off one of the most controversial elements of the first film). It’s fair to say though that others I’ve spoken to didn’t think this appearance fitted the film at all.

Julianne Moore makes for an entertaining – if less than credible – villain, as does Bruce Greenwood (“Star Trek: Into Darkness”) as a barely disguised Trump. None of the motivations of the bad ‘uns however support any scrutiny whatsoever: this is very much a “park your brain at the door” film.

I really shouldn’t enjoy this crass, brash, brainless movie fast-food… and I know many have hated it! But my guilty secret is that I really did like it – one of the best nights of unadulterated escapist fun I’ve had since “Baby Driver”. Classy it’s certainly NOT, but I enjoyed this just as much as the original.
  
Wind River (2017)
Wind River (2017)
2017 | Action, Crime, Mystery
Survive or Surrender.
Of all of the movie released I missed during 2016 (typically due to work commitments) this one was one near the top of my list. I’m a fan of both Jeremy Renner and Elizabeth Olsen, and the setting and story to this one really appealed.
And now I’ve caught up with it, I am not disappointed… certainly one that would have muscled its way well into my top 20 of last year.
Wind River is an Indian reservation in Wyoming (although its filmed in Utah). Natalie (Kelsey Asbille), a young Indian teen, is found in the snow raped and murdered by local tracker Cory Lambert (Jeremy Renner, “Arrival“, “Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation“). The local police, led by Ben (Graham Greene), are surprised when a passionate but naive young FBI officer – Jane Banner (Elizabeth Olsen, “Avengers: Age of Ultron“) – arrives out of a blizzard without remotely sensible clothing. So begins an investigation into who committed the crime, where local knowledge and skills are more applicable than all the CSI-knowhow in the world.

Banner (Elizabeth Olsen) and Ben (Graham Greene) get to work.
This film is everything “The Snowman” should have been and wasn’t. At its heart, there are some memorable relationships established. Gil Birmingham (so good as Jeff Bridges’ right-hand man in “Hell or High Water“) plays Natalie’s dad, grieving and railing against all outsiders other than Cory, who he has a deep and close relationship with. For Cory has a back-story that goes beyond just him marrying into (and now separated from) Wilma (Julia Jones), a woman from the reservation.

Cowboys and Indians. Cory (Jeremy Renner) and Martin (Gil Birmingham) having a deep and moving discussion.
Cory himself has a role that is deep and multi-layered, and Renner is the perfect choice for it (although many scenes could have been cut and spliced into this from his – I thought really strong – Bourne spin-off “The Bourne Legacy”!). Here he has both action scenes and raw emotional scenes to tackle, and although perhaps he doesn’t quite pull off the latter to perfection, he comes pretty close.

“Do you wanna build a snowman?”. Cory is about to make a grim discovery.
Elizabeth Olsen – who seriously deserves more meaty roles like this – plays a ‘flibbertigibbet’ girl (there’s an old word that needs more airtime!) who turns out to have real internal steel. Yet another admirable female role model. #She-do!
The film also paints a vivid and intolerable picture of the dead-end nature of reservation life for many, with poor decisions as a teen (and we’ve all made those) here not being forgiven for the rest of your life.
Written and directed by Taylor Sheridan, who also wrote “Sicario“, “Hell or High Water” and the soon to appear Sicario sequel, “Soldado”, pens some fine and memorable dialogue. “Shouldn’t we wait for some backup?” asks Banner. Ben replies “This isn’t the land of backup. This is the land of you’re on your own”. It’s a film with useful tips as well, like NEVER, EVER go for a run in seriously sub-zero temperatures! (As I’m penning this review in sub-zero Canada at the moment, this is timely advice. #skiptheruntoday.) Sheridan won a Cannes Film Festival award as director for this, but arguably it’s a shame the script has been largely overlooked for the major awards so far.
And that land is one of the stars of the film as well. Filmed around the town of Park City in Utah, it’s gloriously snowy countryside with impressive mountain scenery.

Bleak but impressive, Utah is one of the stars.
My only quibble with the movie is that there are some elements of the plot that don’t quite gel properly. At various times, the heavens open and it buckets down – and I mean buckets down – with snow that must add inches to the landscape in minutes. And yet Cory can still point out tracks in the snow that were made days before? Huh? Also (without spoilers) some elements of communications are also conveniently unreliable when they need to be.
Will this be for everyone? While I commented that the excellent “Three Billboards Outside Ebbing.Missouri” (which shares similar background subject matter) did NOT have flashback scenes to the rape, this film does go there, and so might be upsetting for some viewers.

Girl in Trouble. Kelsey Asbille plays the victim Natalie.
But it’s a high-class, intelligent crime thriller that takes “Mexican standoff” to a whole new level. Recommended.
  
Abyss
Abyss
2014 | Card Game, Mythology, Science Fiction
I am not a great swimmer. For several years of my life I would avoid water at all costs. I have since grown to love it, but would still freak out a bit if a crab came towards me. I’m kind of a baby like that. I do so love underwater scenes and the wildlife, so I was bound to enjoy Abyss. Throw in some of the most amazing artwork in all of gaming and you have a hit, right?


Abyss is a push your luck, set collection, hand management, fantasy card drafting game for two to four players. In it players are attempting to gain the most Influence Points to rule the underwater kingdom by recruiting allies and Lords, and controlling locations. The game ends once a player recruits their seventh Lord or if the Lords cards run out before the Court can be refilled.
To setup, lay out the board, shuffle the Exploration cards (starfish backs) and place in the upper left corner. Shuffle the Lord cards (trident backs) and place the deck in the lower left corner. Reveal Lords to each of the spaces drawn to the right of the deck. This is the Court. Shuffle the Monster tokens and place in a messy pile near the board. Next to these place all the Key tokens. Display the Threat Tracker board with the Threat token on the first space. Shuffle the Location tiles into a stack and reveal the first one. Give each player a pearl in a shell cup and the game is ready to begin!

On a player’s turn they will follow the basic structure of Plotting at Court (by spending pearls to reveal more Lords), Taking One Action (by Exploring the Depths, Requesting Support from the Council, or Recruiting a Lord), and Controlling a Location.

Plotting at Court is simply paying pearls to reveal more Lords at Court.

The action choices begin with Exploring the Depths. This is the push your luck portion of the game where players will reveal cards from the top of the Exploration deck one by one, offer the card to their opponents for purchase (payable to the active player in pearls), and then deciding to continue or take into hand. These cards include members of five allied races of underwater species numbered in strength from one to five and monsters. Fighting monsters is an auto-win and the spoils are what is reflected on the Threat Tracker. If players decide to pass, they will move the Threat token down by one level and improve the treasure won when destroying a monster. Any allies that are undrafted will be sorted by family and placed on the appropriate space on the board.

To Request Support from the Council players will take the entire stack from one family on the board. Again, these are made up of the cards that were undrafted from previous Exploring the Depths actions.

Finally, Recruiting a Lord players will be spending their Exploration cards to combine strength values and family types to appease the Lords they wish to recruit. Players will analyze the strength needed on the bottom left of the Lord card along with the number and color of bubbles above the strength number to determine from which families cards will need to be paid. Lords will have special powers that can be used throughout the game until you use them to Control Locations.

Lords and monster tokens afford players keys, and once players accumulate three keys they MUST Control a Location. To Control a Location players will draft a face-up Location tile or draw one to four tiles and draft one of them. Also, players will sacrifice their Lords (and their special powers) to, well, lord over Locations as super powerful property managers. This is done by covering up the special Lord powers with the Location tiles.


Play continues in this fashion of quick turns until a player recruits their seventh Lord or if the Lords cards run out before the Court can be refilled during a Plot at Court action.
Components. As I mentioned in my open, Abyss boasts some of the most magnificent art ever to grace a board game. The aesthetic coupled with the theme makes for a gorgeous game on the table. The cardboard is all good quality and thick, the cards are good quality as well. The black plastic shells and pearls they hold are so nice to play with and I find myself rolling those pearls as fast as I can within the shells and inevitably spilling them everywhere.

The game play is also quite solid. I like drafting games quite a bit and this delivers a lot of drafting in different locations. You draft Exploration cards and Location tiles to beef up your mini empire. Using the Lords as special power cards but having to cover them up to help control a Location is a clever mechanic and helps with any sort of runaway leader issue. I did not touch on a couple rules because they can be a little confusing to new players (ie the affiliation of allies), but even new gamers can appreciate what Abyss does and how beautifully it accomplishes its task.

I cannot overstate how gorgeous this game is and how much I enjoy being able to pull it off the shelf and set it up to people who have never seen it. I mean, even just the box cover, which is a giant face and no text, is very impressive and helps set the tone for the dark but interesting experiences held within. Purple Phoenix Games gives Abyss a boding 14 / 18. Pick it up, post a picture of which box cover you received, and tag us in the post so we can compare.
  
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