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Daniel Boyd (1066 KP) rated Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (2016) in Movies
Jul 19, 2017
Some of the lighting is well implemented (1 more)
Colin Farrell
Bad CGI (2 more)
The movies 3 leads are extremely annoying
Johnny 'oooh' Depp
Fantastic Beasts and Where To Find Them - Or JK Rowling and the Never Ending Quest for More Money
Contains spoilers, click to show
First off, full disclosure, I have never been a fan of the Harry Potter franchise. I’ve read a few of the books and seen a few of the movies and it just isn’t my thing. Honestly, I’m not even a fan of fantasy in general, I think Lord Of The Rings is nonsense and Game Of Thrones is vastly overrated and the last Harry Potter movie I saw was the fourth one. However, I was willing to go into this movie with a clean slate and hopefully have it win me over and unfortunately it didn’t. Also this review will contain spoilers if you care about that sort of thing.
This film is a prequel to the other Harry Potter movies, this time set in America rather than Britain and telling the story of the events that led to the great wizarding war between Dumbledore and Grindlewald. The film did have potential, to see what would have essentially been WWII fought with magic could be really cool but unfortunately all we get here is setup and that actual event we want to see will probably take place 4 or 5 movies down the line. The film opens with Eddie Redmayne’s character, Newt Scamander going to New York from London to set free one of the beasts that he keeps inside his Tardis-like brief case. Then he ends up in a bank and meets a ‘Nomaj,’ which is this film’s lazy version of a ‘muggle,’ who we learn is a simple lonely guy that just wants to open his own bakery and that’s another character cliché ticked off the list. We now have the double act of the nerdy, sniveling protagonist and the overweight sympathetic sidekick. Also, for the rest of this review I will be referring to the baker character as fat bloke and this isn’t to be derogatory, but is purely because the script relies on the, ‘fat, jolly, sympathetic, pathetic loner’ stereotype and passes it off as a character arc. If the script isn’t treating the character with any respect, then why should I? So fat bloke it is then.
So the two of them of course have the exact same briefcase and after some cartoony looking CGI animals escape from Redmayne’s case in the bank the suitcases predictably get mixed up and then the fat bloke gets his bakery loan declined and returns home with Redmayne’s suitcase, then more bad CGI animals open the case and attack the fat bloke. Redmayne’s character then gets arrested by some wizarding inspector for letting the, ‘Nomaj,’ (urgh) get away after seeing the animals in the case and is taken to the New York Wizards base, I guess? Then it’s revealed that the wizarding inspector that arrested Redmayne is a bit of a shit inspector and she is trying to redeem herself in the eyes of her superiors, so in front of this high wizard council, she confiscates the case from Redmayne and opens it only to reveal a bunch of cakes inside. Yes, really… Who writes this shit? Rowling is doing to Harry Potter what Lucas did to Star Wars during the prequels at this point.
So Redmayne gets set free and he goes to fat bloke’s house to find him lying on the floor, then some more bad CGI later the inspector turns up and they take him back to her house to meet her sister? Friend? Does it matter? She ends up becoming the love interest for fat bloke. Then for no apparent reason Redmayne and fat bloke enter the case and he shows fat bloke all this crazy shit that apparently humans aren’t supposed to see and then Redmayne does some more sniveling and decides they have to sneak out of the girls’ apartment and recapture the animals that escaped in the bank and from fat bloke’s apartment. They get a couple of the beasts back then they go to central park to find Redmayne’s horny rhino and they dress fat bloke up in a leather rhino costume and use him as rape bait then they ice skate for a bit and capture the rhino. Again, really… I am not making this shit up for satirical reasons.
Then we see a real life prick Ezra Miller playing some sort of weird emo child who is beat by his mother and we see he is working with Colin Farrell to find a big bad dark spirit that is killing people around New York. Colin Farrell is definitely the best thing about the film at this point. After this a bunch of other stupid shit happens, like Ron Perlman and John Voight coming into the movie, showing a ray of potential then being totally wasted. The movie drags in the middle, but eventually after some more fat jokes, bad CGI and sniveling, all of the creatures are captured and Ezra Miller turns into a black death cloud or some such nonsense. Then he is boosting around New York, fucking up shit as he goes and so Redmayne and Farrell follow him down to the subway to stop him. Redmayne seems to be talking him down and then Farrell shows up and essentially tells him to join the dark side. Then there is a CGI wand battle and the council from earlier show up out of nowhere and kill the black cloud of death. Then Colin Farrell gets pissed off and in the best scene in the movie murders half of the council members before he gets arrested by Eddie Redmayne with some magic handcuffs.
Then the worst part in the movie takes place. It is revealed that Colin Farrell is actually Johnny Depp in disguise. I mean he is Grindlewald in disguise but the important part for me is the replacement of Colin Farrell with Johnny Depp. Now I’m not the world’s biggest Colin Farrell fan, he is great in, ‘In Bruges,’ but other than that he is pretty meh, but he was definitely the best thing that this movie had going for it and they fucking swapped him out! With fucking Johnny-‘ooh’-Depp. As if this movie wasn’t shit enough they swapped out the best thing about it for Johnny Depp, the biggest joke in Hollywood. I’m done, fuck this movie, fuck Johnny Depp, fuck JK Rowling, fuck Harry Potter, I’m out.
Okay, let’s briefly talk about the technical side of the film before I score this thing. The whole cast of this movie is phoning it in, so the acting is fine but nothing to write home about, Farrell is the best thing in this movie, but I feel that in the sequels it will just be an ‘ooh,’ off between Depp and Redmayne. The direction is okay as the movie plods along sufficiently, but the writing is wildly inconsistent and the plot as stated above is all over the place. The lighting and cinematography in one scene are fantastic, when Farrell and Miller are conversing in a dark alleyway but other than that they are pretty mundane too. The score is suitably Harry Potter like and the CGI is also to a similar standard of the Harry Potter films. The problem with that is that the CGI was ropey and of a fairly poor standard in the Harry Potter movies 10 years ago and it doesn’t seem like it has improved much since then. This movie isn’t for me, but even from an objective standpoint, based solely from a moviemaking perspective this movie is poor.
This film is a prequel to the other Harry Potter movies, this time set in America rather than Britain and telling the story of the events that led to the great wizarding war between Dumbledore and Grindlewald. The film did have potential, to see what would have essentially been WWII fought with magic could be really cool but unfortunately all we get here is setup and that actual event we want to see will probably take place 4 or 5 movies down the line. The film opens with Eddie Redmayne’s character, Newt Scamander going to New York from London to set free one of the beasts that he keeps inside his Tardis-like brief case. Then he ends up in a bank and meets a ‘Nomaj,’ which is this film’s lazy version of a ‘muggle,’ who we learn is a simple lonely guy that just wants to open his own bakery and that’s another character cliché ticked off the list. We now have the double act of the nerdy, sniveling protagonist and the overweight sympathetic sidekick. Also, for the rest of this review I will be referring to the baker character as fat bloke and this isn’t to be derogatory, but is purely because the script relies on the, ‘fat, jolly, sympathetic, pathetic loner’ stereotype and passes it off as a character arc. If the script isn’t treating the character with any respect, then why should I? So fat bloke it is then.
So the two of them of course have the exact same briefcase and after some cartoony looking CGI animals escape from Redmayne’s case in the bank the suitcases predictably get mixed up and then the fat bloke gets his bakery loan declined and returns home with Redmayne’s suitcase, then more bad CGI animals open the case and attack the fat bloke. Redmayne’s character then gets arrested by some wizarding inspector for letting the, ‘Nomaj,’ (urgh) get away after seeing the animals in the case and is taken to the New York Wizards base, I guess? Then it’s revealed that the wizarding inspector that arrested Redmayne is a bit of a shit inspector and she is trying to redeem herself in the eyes of her superiors, so in front of this high wizard council, she confiscates the case from Redmayne and opens it only to reveal a bunch of cakes inside. Yes, really… Who writes this shit? Rowling is doing to Harry Potter what Lucas did to Star Wars during the prequels at this point.
So Redmayne gets set free and he goes to fat bloke’s house to find him lying on the floor, then some more bad CGI later the inspector turns up and they take him back to her house to meet her sister? Friend? Does it matter? She ends up becoming the love interest for fat bloke. Then for no apparent reason Redmayne and fat bloke enter the case and he shows fat bloke all this crazy shit that apparently humans aren’t supposed to see and then Redmayne does some more sniveling and decides they have to sneak out of the girls’ apartment and recapture the animals that escaped in the bank and from fat bloke’s apartment. They get a couple of the beasts back then they go to central park to find Redmayne’s horny rhino and they dress fat bloke up in a leather rhino costume and use him as rape bait then they ice skate for a bit and capture the rhino. Again, really… I am not making this shit up for satirical reasons.
Then we see a real life prick Ezra Miller playing some sort of weird emo child who is beat by his mother and we see he is working with Colin Farrell to find a big bad dark spirit that is killing people around New York. Colin Farrell is definitely the best thing about the film at this point. After this a bunch of other stupid shit happens, like Ron Perlman and John Voight coming into the movie, showing a ray of potential then being totally wasted. The movie drags in the middle, but eventually after some more fat jokes, bad CGI and sniveling, all of the creatures are captured and Ezra Miller turns into a black death cloud or some such nonsense. Then he is boosting around New York, fucking up shit as he goes and so Redmayne and Farrell follow him down to the subway to stop him. Redmayne seems to be talking him down and then Farrell shows up and essentially tells him to join the dark side. Then there is a CGI wand battle and the council from earlier show up out of nowhere and kill the black cloud of death. Then Colin Farrell gets pissed off and in the best scene in the movie murders half of the council members before he gets arrested by Eddie Redmayne with some magic handcuffs.
Then the worst part in the movie takes place. It is revealed that Colin Farrell is actually Johnny Depp in disguise. I mean he is Grindlewald in disguise but the important part for me is the replacement of Colin Farrell with Johnny Depp. Now I’m not the world’s biggest Colin Farrell fan, he is great in, ‘In Bruges,’ but other than that he is pretty meh, but he was definitely the best thing that this movie had going for it and they fucking swapped him out! With fucking Johnny-‘ooh’-Depp. As if this movie wasn’t shit enough they swapped out the best thing about it for Johnny Depp, the biggest joke in Hollywood. I’m done, fuck this movie, fuck Johnny Depp, fuck JK Rowling, fuck Harry Potter, I’m out.
Okay, let’s briefly talk about the technical side of the film before I score this thing. The whole cast of this movie is phoning it in, so the acting is fine but nothing to write home about, Farrell is the best thing in this movie, but I feel that in the sequels it will just be an ‘ooh,’ off between Depp and Redmayne. The direction is okay as the movie plods along sufficiently, but the writing is wildly inconsistent and the plot as stated above is all over the place. The lighting and cinematography in one scene are fantastic, when Farrell and Miller are conversing in a dark alleyway but other than that they are pretty mundane too. The score is suitably Harry Potter like and the CGI is also to a similar standard of the Harry Potter films. The problem with that is that the CGI was ropey and of a fairly poor standard in the Harry Potter movies 10 years ago and it doesn’t seem like it has improved much since then. This movie isn’t for me, but even from an objective standpoint, based solely from a moviemaking perspective this movie is poor.
Mandy and G.D. Burkhead (26 KP) rated The Book of Kings in Books
May 20, 2018
Shelf Life – The Book of Kings Has a Few Gems and a Few Warts
Contains spoilers, click to show
Unlike other short story anthologies I could mention, this one wasn’t mostly horrible. Instead, the stories inside run the gamut from stupid to brilliant and from annoying to nothing special to fun and memorable. A little something for everyone, then.
So since I can’t review it with one blanket sentiment, let’s instead take a quick look at a handful of the 20 all-original stories inside. The following are the tales that most stood out to me during my reading, for better or worse.
“The Kiss” by Alan Dean Foster – A woman walking through a snowy city finds a frog who says he’s a prince, so she kisses him. He turns into a guy and stabs her to death.
Oh boy, we’re not off to a great start here. This story could have been told in a page or so and been an interesting twist on the old tale, but instead the author drew it out over three pages by choosing the absolute most pretentious choice of words for every damn sentence. The guy doesn’t stab the woman, his “knife describes a Gothic arc.” She doesn’t shout or whisper or ask what’s going on, she “expels a querrelous trauma.” It’s not snowing on her face, “trifles of ice as beautiful as they were capricious tickled her exposed cheeks, only to be turned into simulacra of tears as they were instantly metamorphosed by the bundled furnace of her body.”
Yes, really.
The sheer purpleness of this prose might be excused for a deliberately lofty and overwrought tale, but it absolutely does not fit a story about a girl getting shanked by a frog on the street. If the contrast between what’s happening and how it’s presented is supposed to seem absolutely ridiculous, then it’s a success. This reads more like a writing exercise for seeing how unbearably melodramatic you can tell a simple story that the author went ahead and published anyway. I only read it last night as of the time of this particular bit of review, but I still have a headache.
“Divine Right” by Nancy Holder – A king grieving for his recently passed daughter and only heir tries to figure out how to keep his legacy from dying out and eventually decides on a way to choose a successor, sealing his decision by making a pact with God.
I really liked this one, partly for the great characterization of the king via his priorities. He’s not a bastion of righteousness or a tyrannical despot. He might be a pretty decent ruler, or he might not, depending on your priorities and the angle from which you view him. Mostly he’s written to be believable for his position and time period, pride and failings and all.
But what really sealed this story for me was the ironic bent of the plot that I can’t really discuss in any more depth without spoiling it except to say that it definitely fit with the tone and left an appropriate message. So let’s just give it a thumbs up and leave it at that.
“In the Name of the King” by Judith Tarr – If you know the story of Hatshepsut, an Egyptian queen who ruled as Pharaoh, then this is an extra interesting story. It follows both Hatshepsut and her lover in the afterlife and the legacy they’re leaving behind after their deaths, in which they take a surprisingly active interest for dead people.
If you know your history, though, you know where this is going, and it’s very touching as it gets there. It’s also character-centric in a way that makes its dead cast members seem very much alive. This one’s a good contender for my favorite story in the whole anthology.
“Please to See the King” by Debra Doyle and James D. Macdonald – A small glimpse of about one evening each into the lives of two seemingly unrelated, seemingly unimportant men against the backdrop of the battles being fought over a vague and distant rebellion against a vague and distant crown.
To say more would be to spoil the story, which is short, sweet, and interesting. It gives you just enough details, and no more, that you can piece together a much deeper story with room left for speculation about who certain characters really were and what exactly just happened. I’ve spent more time thinking about how the ending may be interpreted than it took me to read it, which is a good sign of nuance done right.
“The Name of a King” by Diana L. Paxson – This’n c’n rightf’ly b’ put in w’ th’ other st’ries I woul’n’t oth’rwise b’ther t’ mention ‘cept fer th’ o’erwrought dialectic style o’ nearly all o’ th’ dialogue, whut c’n git on yer nerves right quick-like whene’er any’ne op’ns their mouths. An’ while I’m ‘ere, th’ settin’ w’s rife wi’ plen’y o’ hints at deeper d’tails whut was ne’er sufficien’ly delved into or whut impact’d th’ actu’l plot much. Felt like part o’ a fant’sy series whut I was ‘spected t’ b’ f’miliar wit’ but wasn’t, an’ whut di’n’t give me ’nuff t’ git f’miliar wit’ just fr’m this st’ry.
Oth’rwise, t’w’sn’t t’ b’d, I s’pose. Bit borin’.
“Coda: Working Stiff” by Mike Resnick and Nicholas A. DiChario – This one was just fun. Again trying not to give away any twists or revelations, this one follows a journalist interviewing a bus driver who used to be a big, famous king back in his heyday but is now content (or so he says) with his obscure life of working a simple job in the day and drinking in his spartan home at night.
Who this ex-king really is probably isn’t who you think it’s gonna be at first, but the story does still technically, and cheekily, fit in with the premise of the book overall. It reminds me very much of something Neil Gaiman might have written, or maybe Terry Pratchett if he’d decided to tackle the kingly premise from a more modern and realistic approach.
There are still 14 stories left in here, many of which are also good reads, or at least decent. In fact, looking back through it again, the only real dud that stands out to me is “The Kiss.” The weakest of what’s left are either adaptations of stories that didn’t really do it for me (“The Tale of Lady Ashburn” by John Gregory Betancourt) or weird original works that weren’t really memorable in what they set out to do (“A Parker House Roll” by Dean Wesley Smith).
Overall, The Book of Kings is a fun and interesting romp through a number of royal worlds, themes, and tones. As such, anyone who gives it a look will probably have the same general sentiment I did at the end, with a few things to like and a few to point to as examples of what doesn’t work for them. Me, I got a bit of the inspiration I was looking for and a few memorable tales out of it, so I’ll forgive the warts.
So since I can’t review it with one blanket sentiment, let’s instead take a quick look at a handful of the 20 all-original stories inside. The following are the tales that most stood out to me during my reading, for better or worse.
“The Kiss” by Alan Dean Foster – A woman walking through a snowy city finds a frog who says he’s a prince, so she kisses him. He turns into a guy and stabs her to death.
Oh boy, we’re not off to a great start here. This story could have been told in a page or so and been an interesting twist on the old tale, but instead the author drew it out over three pages by choosing the absolute most pretentious choice of words for every damn sentence. The guy doesn’t stab the woman, his “knife describes a Gothic arc.” She doesn’t shout or whisper or ask what’s going on, she “expels a querrelous trauma.” It’s not snowing on her face, “trifles of ice as beautiful as they were capricious tickled her exposed cheeks, only to be turned into simulacra of tears as they were instantly metamorphosed by the bundled furnace of her body.”
Yes, really.
The sheer purpleness of this prose might be excused for a deliberately lofty and overwrought tale, but it absolutely does not fit a story about a girl getting shanked by a frog on the street. If the contrast between what’s happening and how it’s presented is supposed to seem absolutely ridiculous, then it’s a success. This reads more like a writing exercise for seeing how unbearably melodramatic you can tell a simple story that the author went ahead and published anyway. I only read it last night as of the time of this particular bit of review, but I still have a headache.
“Divine Right” by Nancy Holder – A king grieving for his recently passed daughter and only heir tries to figure out how to keep his legacy from dying out and eventually decides on a way to choose a successor, sealing his decision by making a pact with God.
I really liked this one, partly for the great characterization of the king via his priorities. He’s not a bastion of righteousness or a tyrannical despot. He might be a pretty decent ruler, or he might not, depending on your priorities and the angle from which you view him. Mostly he’s written to be believable for his position and time period, pride and failings and all.
But what really sealed this story for me was the ironic bent of the plot that I can’t really discuss in any more depth without spoiling it except to say that it definitely fit with the tone and left an appropriate message. So let’s just give it a thumbs up and leave it at that.
“In the Name of the King” by Judith Tarr – If you know the story of Hatshepsut, an Egyptian queen who ruled as Pharaoh, then this is an extra interesting story. It follows both Hatshepsut and her lover in the afterlife and the legacy they’re leaving behind after their deaths, in which they take a surprisingly active interest for dead people.
If you know your history, though, you know where this is going, and it’s very touching as it gets there. It’s also character-centric in a way that makes its dead cast members seem very much alive. This one’s a good contender for my favorite story in the whole anthology.
“Please to See the King” by Debra Doyle and James D. Macdonald – A small glimpse of about one evening each into the lives of two seemingly unrelated, seemingly unimportant men against the backdrop of the battles being fought over a vague and distant rebellion against a vague and distant crown.
To say more would be to spoil the story, which is short, sweet, and interesting. It gives you just enough details, and no more, that you can piece together a much deeper story with room left for speculation about who certain characters really were and what exactly just happened. I’ve spent more time thinking about how the ending may be interpreted than it took me to read it, which is a good sign of nuance done right.
“The Name of a King” by Diana L. Paxson – This’n c’n rightf’ly b’ put in w’ th’ other st’ries I woul’n’t oth’rwise b’ther t’ mention ‘cept fer th’ o’erwrought dialectic style o’ nearly all o’ th’ dialogue, whut c’n git on yer nerves right quick-like whene’er any’ne op’ns their mouths. An’ while I’m ‘ere, th’ settin’ w’s rife wi’ plen’y o’ hints at deeper d’tails whut was ne’er sufficien’ly delved into or whut impact’d th’ actu’l plot much. Felt like part o’ a fant’sy series whut I was ‘spected t’ b’ f’miliar wit’ but wasn’t, an’ whut di’n’t give me ’nuff t’ git f’miliar wit’ just fr’m this st’ry.
Oth’rwise, t’w’sn’t t’ b’d, I s’pose. Bit borin’.
“Coda: Working Stiff” by Mike Resnick and Nicholas A. DiChario – This one was just fun. Again trying not to give away any twists or revelations, this one follows a journalist interviewing a bus driver who used to be a big, famous king back in his heyday but is now content (or so he says) with his obscure life of working a simple job in the day and drinking in his spartan home at night.
Who this ex-king really is probably isn’t who you think it’s gonna be at first, but the story does still technically, and cheekily, fit in with the premise of the book overall. It reminds me very much of something Neil Gaiman might have written, or maybe Terry Pratchett if he’d decided to tackle the kingly premise from a more modern and realistic approach.
There are still 14 stories left in here, many of which are also good reads, or at least decent. In fact, looking back through it again, the only real dud that stands out to me is “The Kiss.” The weakest of what’s left are either adaptations of stories that didn’t really do it for me (“The Tale of Lady Ashburn” by John Gregory Betancourt) or weird original works that weren’t really memorable in what they set out to do (“A Parker House Roll” by Dean Wesley Smith).
Overall, The Book of Kings is a fun and interesting romp through a number of royal worlds, themes, and tones. As such, anyone who gives it a look will probably have the same general sentiment I did at the end, with a few things to like and a few to point to as examples of what doesn’t work for them. Me, I got a bit of the inspiration I was looking for and a few memorable tales out of it, so I’ll forgive the warts.
graveyardgremlin (7194 KP) rated Fury of Fire (Dragonfury, #1) in Books
Feb 15, 2019
<b>NOTE:</b> I did not finish Fury of Fire. I reached page 207, out of 412, before I called it quits. My review reflects on what I read and no more, which is more than enough to be indicative to how the author creates her book.
During the course of reading, everyone comes across a book that just doesn't connect with them. That doesn't mean the book is bad or that others shouldn't read it, it just means the it isn't a good fit that particular person. This is that book for me. I had a very difficult time getting through what I read, mostly due to a bunch of little things that stood out and were what I consider oddities, especially in context to situations in the book. If I had to describe this book in one word, it'd be abrasive. The characters, the dialogue, and most importantly, the writing felt like rubbing sandpaper over a wound. Over and over again.
<b>THE BAD</b>
The constant bombardment of internalizing that both Myst and Bastian provide in this book was like a splinter under my fingernail. The more I dug, the more painful it became, and I started to dislike the book and main characters more and more as I read on. Admittedly, it was pretty easy to loathe Bastian and Myst when it became apparent that they are both boring and stupid, and I didn't find Bastian all that likeable in the first place. Call me crazy, but I just feel uneasy when a character wants to immediately jump the bones of a person he just met in horrific situation while she is frightened beyond belief. But apparently that's okay because he acknowledges his creepiness in a fit of mental self-flagellation. Sorry, but that doesn't fly with me. Maybe if that had been mentioned only once, I would have let it slide, but it keeps on like that for way too long. Apparently he's all alpha on the outside and emo on the inside. What a winning combination! Not. Myst herself starts off, uh, decent enough but then quickly becomes the nitwit I was hoping to avoid. She gets the fastest case of Stockholm Syndrome I've ever come across. For all intents and purposes, Bastian kidnapped her. Sure, we the readers know it's for Myst and the baby's safety from the evil Razorbacks, but she certainly doesn't know that, therefore I found her reactions extremely unrealistic and bizarre to the situations she was in. One minute she's fighting, and by fighting I mean being stubbornly spunky, or somewhat thinking of escape, the next she's imagining wild, hot monkey sex with Bastian. I'm sorry but if some big, six-foot-six (apparently every male is 6'6 in this book, even the human cop. Obviously, if a guy is under that height, he's not really a man.), scary dude who can turn into a dragon kidnaps me, I am so not going to be thinking about how hot they are or what they're like in the sack. Yeah, uh-huh, that makes perfect sense. Oy! Anyway, they end up making out that night due to Bastian's alpha going crazy and some supernatural roofie that dragons put out to females. God, this is not romantic at all. And it's only been a few hours since they "met"! The morning after Myst is kidnapped, she wakes up naked and finds out Bastian bathed her, can you say mondo creepy? So after she dresses, she goes meandering through the Nightfury's lair, admiring his artwork and crap, then ends up in the kitchen with the rest of the freaky-tall Nightfuries. I'd be high-tailing it out of there, in fact, I would have been plotting escape long before this point. It appears she only thinks of escape once a day. While she's in the kitchen, Bastian has her sit at the table so she can eat her breakfast. He sets down a plate in front of her and as she goes to have a bite, she notices he cut her waffles into little, perfect, bite-size pieces and she's apparently overcome by this act. How weird is that?! All feminist angles aside, who cuts up someone else's food unless: A, it's for a small child, two, their arms and hands are broken, or D, they're handicapped in some way that prevents them from feeding themselves? W.T.F.? Frankly, I think it's just odd. And then she gets misty-eyed (Myst is all misty, how cute. *gag*) when he asks her to help name the baby he kidnapped. I've already doubted her sanity before but now it's gone to even more ridiculous heights by this point.
The magical Rohypnol I mentioned before creeped me the heck out. So when a dragon guy needs his energy fix, he picks out a woman, roofies her, feeds off her energy, sleeps with her, and then wipes her memory! Say what? That's too close to rape for my liking. This wasn't just the bad guys doing this, but the next book's "hero" did that to a woman in a hospital (note: she wasn't a patient, I think she was a researcher or something, I don't remember). How sweet.
The excessive swearing needed edited down. Normally I don't mind a little cursing here and there, but so much of it didn't need to be added to the dialogue or characters and showed a lack of creativity.
The "dragons" are really shape-shifting vampires. They have to feed off women, only it's energy instead of blood, they can't be out in the sun, they heal quickly, live a long time, are super-strong, amongst other attributes. If you're going to have shape-shifting dragons, don't make them so similar to other paranormal species. Differentiate them so they're unique, not a near-clone.
I didn't like the whole reading of minds thing. If it was something that happened when mated, fine, but I don't like the thought of someone just arbitrarily getting into someone else's brain whenever they want. It's a violation. Bastian did this to Myst way too often.
The characters sound a lot like each other. They don't all have individual voices so there isn't much beyond a name separating one from the other.
<b>THE GOOD</b>
The first fight scene was actually quite well-done, although it was very early on in the book so it might not hold up on a second reading. The next fight scene wasn't too bad, maybe a little confusing at times.
The other characters in the Dragonfury series have the potential to be more interesting if they can be given some individuality, but since I didn't connect with the author's writing style and don't like most of the ideas, I won't be looking for any sequels to this oh-so-romantic series. I wouldn't recommend this book, but hey, if it sounds right up your alley or you have masochistic tendencies, by all means try it out for yourself.
As a final note, I just wanted to thank <a href="http://homealone.wikia.com/wiki/Buzz_McCallister"; target="_blank">Buzz McCallister</a> for his mad counting/alphabetizing skillz in writing this review. I couldn't have done it without you, buddy.
<img src="http://kindbooksandcoronets.files.wordpress.com/2012/03/buzzmccallister1.jpg">;
During the course of reading, everyone comes across a book that just doesn't connect with them. That doesn't mean the book is bad or that others shouldn't read it, it just means the it isn't a good fit that particular person. This is that book for me. I had a very difficult time getting through what I read, mostly due to a bunch of little things that stood out and were what I consider oddities, especially in context to situations in the book. If I had to describe this book in one word, it'd be abrasive. The characters, the dialogue, and most importantly, the writing felt like rubbing sandpaper over a wound. Over and over again.
<b>THE BAD</b>
The constant bombardment of internalizing that both Myst and Bastian provide in this book was like a splinter under my fingernail. The more I dug, the more painful it became, and I started to dislike the book and main characters more and more as I read on. Admittedly, it was pretty easy to loathe Bastian and Myst when it became apparent that they are both boring and stupid, and I didn't find Bastian all that likeable in the first place. Call me crazy, but I just feel uneasy when a character wants to immediately jump the bones of a person he just met in horrific situation while she is frightened beyond belief. But apparently that's okay because he acknowledges his creepiness in a fit of mental self-flagellation. Sorry, but that doesn't fly with me. Maybe if that had been mentioned only once, I would have let it slide, but it keeps on like that for way too long. Apparently he's all alpha on the outside and emo on the inside. What a winning combination! Not. Myst herself starts off, uh, decent enough but then quickly becomes the nitwit I was hoping to avoid. She gets the fastest case of Stockholm Syndrome I've ever come across. For all intents and purposes, Bastian kidnapped her. Sure, we the readers know it's for Myst and the baby's safety from the evil Razorbacks, but she certainly doesn't know that, therefore I found her reactions extremely unrealistic and bizarre to the situations she was in. One minute she's fighting, and by fighting I mean being stubbornly spunky, or somewhat thinking of escape, the next she's imagining wild, hot monkey sex with Bastian. I'm sorry but if some big, six-foot-six (apparently every male is 6'6 in this book, even the human cop. Obviously, if a guy is under that height, he's not really a man.), scary dude who can turn into a dragon kidnaps me, I am so not going to be thinking about how hot they are or what they're like in the sack. Yeah, uh-huh, that makes perfect sense. Oy! Anyway, they end up making out that night due to Bastian's alpha going crazy and some supernatural roofie that dragons put out to females. God, this is not romantic at all. And it's only been a few hours since they "met"! The morning after Myst is kidnapped, she wakes up naked and finds out Bastian bathed her, can you say mondo creepy? So after she dresses, she goes meandering through the Nightfury's lair, admiring his artwork and crap, then ends up in the kitchen with the rest of the freaky-tall Nightfuries. I'd be high-tailing it out of there, in fact, I would have been plotting escape long before this point. It appears she only thinks of escape once a day. While she's in the kitchen, Bastian has her sit at the table so she can eat her breakfast. He sets down a plate in front of her and as she goes to have a bite, she notices he cut her waffles into little, perfect, bite-size pieces and she's apparently overcome by this act. How weird is that?! All feminist angles aside, who cuts up someone else's food unless: A, it's for a small child, two, their arms and hands are broken, or D, they're handicapped in some way that prevents them from feeding themselves? W.T.F.? Frankly, I think it's just odd. And then she gets misty-eyed (Myst is all misty, how cute. *gag*) when he asks her to help name the baby he kidnapped. I've already doubted her sanity before but now it's gone to even more ridiculous heights by this point.
The magical Rohypnol I mentioned before creeped me the heck out. So when a dragon guy needs his energy fix, he picks out a woman, roofies her, feeds off her energy, sleeps with her, and then wipes her memory! Say what? That's too close to rape for my liking. This wasn't just the bad guys doing this, but the next book's "hero" did that to a woman in a hospital (note: she wasn't a patient, I think she was a researcher or something, I don't remember). How sweet.
The excessive swearing needed edited down. Normally I don't mind a little cursing here and there, but so much of it didn't need to be added to the dialogue or characters and showed a lack of creativity.
The "dragons" are really shape-shifting vampires. They have to feed off women, only it's energy instead of blood, they can't be out in the sun, they heal quickly, live a long time, are super-strong, amongst other attributes. If you're going to have shape-shifting dragons, don't make them so similar to other paranormal species. Differentiate them so they're unique, not a near-clone.
I didn't like the whole reading of minds thing. If it was something that happened when mated, fine, but I don't like the thought of someone just arbitrarily getting into someone else's brain whenever they want. It's a violation. Bastian did this to Myst way too often.
The characters sound a lot like each other. They don't all have individual voices so there isn't much beyond a name separating one from the other.
<b>THE GOOD</b>
The first fight scene was actually quite well-done, although it was very early on in the book so it might not hold up on a second reading. The next fight scene wasn't too bad, maybe a little confusing at times.
The other characters in the Dragonfury series have the potential to be more interesting if they can be given some individuality, but since I didn't connect with the author's writing style and don't like most of the ideas, I won't be looking for any sequels to this oh-so-romantic series. I wouldn't recommend this book, but hey, if it sounds right up your alley or you have masochistic tendencies, by all means try it out for yourself.
As a final note, I just wanted to thank <a href="http://homealone.wikia.com/wiki/Buzz_McCallister"; target="_blank">Buzz McCallister</a> for his mad counting/alphabetizing skillz in writing this review. I couldn't have done it without you, buddy.
<img src="http://kindbooksandcoronets.files.wordpress.com/2012/03/buzzmccallister1.jpg">;
Bong Mines Entertainment (15 KP) rated Ella Mai by Ella Mai in Music
Jun 7, 2019 (Updated Jun 7, 2019)
Ella Mai is a talented R&B/Soul singer from London, England. Not too long ago, she released her deliciously impressive self-titled debut studio album, which uses her name as an acronym to communicate its message.
Ella Mai – “Good Bad”
‘Good Bad’ tells the story of a moody woman who’s not perfect. One day, she has a pleasant personality, and another, an attitude. If she was single, her behavior might go unnoticed, but the thing is she isn’t single.
She’s in an up-and-down relationship with a guy she desires. And oftentimes, he thinks she’s mad at him whenever she gets in one of her bad moods. Also, she knows her good side is the reason why he doesn’t get up and leave. But in a weird way, he likes her bad side.
‘Good Bad’ contains a relatable storyline, soul vocals, and a groovy neo-soul instrumentation produced by Nana Rogues.
Ella Mai – “Dangerous”
‘Dangerous’ tells the tale of a woman who’s in a loving relationship with a guy she’s deeply in love with. She cooks breakfast for him because he shows he deserves her love. But the danger comes in play when she risks it all by putting her all in their relationship, which has no guarantee.
‘Dangerous’ contains a romantic narrative, r&b/soul vocals, and a spunky Bryan-Michael Cox-produced instrumentation oozing with a poppin’ neo-dance flavor.
Ella Mai – “Sauce”
‘Sauce’ tells the tale of an attractive female with a confident, stylish nature. She’s in a new relationship with a guy who’s already head-over-heels in love with her. But the thing is they haven’t been together that long. Either he’s trippin’ or addicted to her sauce.
‘Sauce’ contains a relevant storyline, r&b/soul vocals, and bouncy instrumentation produced by Quintin Gulledge and DJ Mustard.
Ella Mai – “Whatchamacallit” feat. Chris Brown
‘Whatchamacallit’ tells a tale of a guy and a girl who’s in a secret relationship with each other. The woman has a boyfriend and the man has a girlfriend but that doesn’t stop them from committing a romantic crime. They know their sensual action is wrong, but it feels so right that they override their conscience.
‘Whatchamacallit’ contains an exciting storyline, wonderful soul vocals, and charismatic instrumentation produced by J Holt and DJ Mustard.
“Cheap Shot”
‘Cheap Shot’ tells the tale of a woman who has a dude who loves her, but she didn’t know beforehand how he felt until now. The term ‘cheap shop’ indicates that he takes advantage of her when she’s at her weakest point in life. A time when she just needs to chill instead of going through the emotions of love all over again.
‘Cheap Shots’ contains a relatable storyline, r&b soul vocals, and lush instrumentation produced by Harmony Samuels.
Ella Mai – “Shot Clock”
‘Shot Clock’ tells the tale of a woman who’s been dating a guy for five years. She thinks he’s playing games about commitment, therefore, she gives him 24-seconds to make a decision. But if the shot clock winds down to zero, he might find his babe in the arms of another man.
‘Shot Clock’ contains a relatable storyline, r&b/soul vocals, and charismatic instrumentation produced by DJ Mustard.
Ella Mai – “Boo’d Up”
The video finds Ella and her man riding Go Karts inside an amusement area with several friends. The newly-formed couple is happy and boo’d up in public.
‘Boo’d Up’ is a contemporary love song that finds Ella reminiscing about a past lover. Although their relationship is over, she finds it hard getting over that special person who makes her heartbeat bounce abnormally.
‘Boo’d Up’ contains a relatable narrative, gorgeous soul vocals, and ear-welcoming instrumentation oozing with classic neo-soul elements. The track was produced by Larrance Dopson and DJ Mustard.
Ella Mai – “Everything” feat. John Legend
‘Everything’ tells a sweet tale of a woman who appreciates the guy she’s with. Both of them are giving their all to keep their relationship healthy. According to the woman, they have everything they want.
‘Everything’ contains a relatable storyline, soul-pop vocals, and lovely instrumentation produced by DJ Mustard, Dayyon Alexander, and Jeff Alexander.
“Own It”
‘Own It’ tells an erotic tale of a woman who’s ready to get down and dirty with her significant other. She has on a T-shirt and panties and he’s on his knees servicing her body. Fluids are dripping and they are talkin’ naughty to each other while making love all night long.
‘Own It’ contains a sexy narrative, soul vocals, and slow-grinding instrumentation produced by Kosine and Miykal Snoddy.
“Run My Mouth”
‘Run My Mouth’ tells a tale of a woman who’s in love with a guy she’s in a relationship with. She’s addicted to making love to him, and every time they make love she runs her mouth in a good way because the sex is good.
‘Run My Mouth’ contains a sexy storyline, charismatic vocals, and melodic-trap instrumentation produced by DJ Mustard.
“Gut Feeling” feat. H.E.R.
‘Gut Feeling’ tells the tale of a young woman; her intuition tells her that the guy she’s in love with is guilty of something. She searches his phone looking for clues of his infidelity but finds nothing. Later that day, she asks him to come clean if he’s doing something wrong such as cheating, etc.
‘Gut Feeling’ contains a relatable storyline, charming soul vocals, and lovely instrumentation produced by DJ Mustard.
Ella Mai – “Trip”
‘Trip’ tells the tale of a woman who’s addicted to making good love with her significant other. But when she doesn’t get it, she overreacts or gets bent out of shape.
‘Trip’ contains a relatable storyline, soothing soul vocals, and piano-laden instrumentation produced by Keys and DJ Mustard.
Ella Mai – “Close”
‘Close’ tells the tale of a woman who appreciates the man she’s in love with. All day every day she thinks about him. Apparently, she’s not an easy person to be with, but somehow, his easygoingness balances her nature when they are close in each other’s arms.
‘Close’ contains a sensual storyline, charming melodies, and charismatic instrumentation produced by DJ Mustard.
Ella Mai – “Easy”
‘Easy’ tells the tale of a woman who’s in a new relationship with a guy she desires. Apparently, he’s a little uneasy about commitment. She reassures him that he should let his guard down and not worry. Therefore, she makes it easy for him to fall in love with her.
‘Easy’ contains an evergreen narrative, soul vocals, and ear-welcoming instrumentation produced by Lido and DJ Mustard.
Ella Mai – “Naked” (Bonus Track)
‘Naked’ tells the tale of a woman who’s looking for a guy who will love her unconditionally. Someone who will look past her flaws. Someone who will say she’s beautiful even when she doesn’t look the part.
‘Naked’ contains a relatable storyline, wonderful soul vocals, and sexy instrumentation produced by DJ Mustard.
“Ella Mai”
Ella Mai
In conclusion, Ella Mai’s self-titled debut studio album is a wonderful work of art. We totally enjoyed listening to each song from beginning to end.
Also, her voice sets a gorgeous tone while projecting an appealing and relatable narrative mostly focused on the up-side of romantic relationships, which contributes to the album’s feel-good vibe.
Mai’s first full-length offering is deliciously impressive and solidifies the London songstress at the helm of the contemporary R&B market.
https://www.bongminesentertainment.com/ella-mai-debut-album/
Ella Mai – “Good Bad”
‘Good Bad’ tells the story of a moody woman who’s not perfect. One day, she has a pleasant personality, and another, an attitude. If she was single, her behavior might go unnoticed, but the thing is she isn’t single.
She’s in an up-and-down relationship with a guy she desires. And oftentimes, he thinks she’s mad at him whenever she gets in one of her bad moods. Also, she knows her good side is the reason why he doesn’t get up and leave. But in a weird way, he likes her bad side.
‘Good Bad’ contains a relatable storyline, soul vocals, and a groovy neo-soul instrumentation produced by Nana Rogues.
Ella Mai – “Dangerous”
‘Dangerous’ tells the tale of a woman who’s in a loving relationship with a guy she’s deeply in love with. She cooks breakfast for him because he shows he deserves her love. But the danger comes in play when she risks it all by putting her all in their relationship, which has no guarantee.
‘Dangerous’ contains a romantic narrative, r&b/soul vocals, and a spunky Bryan-Michael Cox-produced instrumentation oozing with a poppin’ neo-dance flavor.
Ella Mai – “Sauce”
‘Sauce’ tells the tale of an attractive female with a confident, stylish nature. She’s in a new relationship with a guy who’s already head-over-heels in love with her. But the thing is they haven’t been together that long. Either he’s trippin’ or addicted to her sauce.
‘Sauce’ contains a relevant storyline, r&b/soul vocals, and bouncy instrumentation produced by Quintin Gulledge and DJ Mustard.
Ella Mai – “Whatchamacallit” feat. Chris Brown
‘Whatchamacallit’ tells a tale of a guy and a girl who’s in a secret relationship with each other. The woman has a boyfriend and the man has a girlfriend but that doesn’t stop them from committing a romantic crime. They know their sensual action is wrong, but it feels so right that they override their conscience.
‘Whatchamacallit’ contains an exciting storyline, wonderful soul vocals, and charismatic instrumentation produced by J Holt and DJ Mustard.
“Cheap Shot”
‘Cheap Shot’ tells the tale of a woman who has a dude who loves her, but she didn’t know beforehand how he felt until now. The term ‘cheap shop’ indicates that he takes advantage of her when she’s at her weakest point in life. A time when she just needs to chill instead of going through the emotions of love all over again.
‘Cheap Shots’ contains a relatable storyline, r&b soul vocals, and lush instrumentation produced by Harmony Samuels.
Ella Mai – “Shot Clock”
‘Shot Clock’ tells the tale of a woman who’s been dating a guy for five years. She thinks he’s playing games about commitment, therefore, she gives him 24-seconds to make a decision. But if the shot clock winds down to zero, he might find his babe in the arms of another man.
‘Shot Clock’ contains a relatable storyline, r&b/soul vocals, and charismatic instrumentation produced by DJ Mustard.
Ella Mai – “Boo’d Up”
The video finds Ella and her man riding Go Karts inside an amusement area with several friends. The newly-formed couple is happy and boo’d up in public.
‘Boo’d Up’ is a contemporary love song that finds Ella reminiscing about a past lover. Although their relationship is over, she finds it hard getting over that special person who makes her heartbeat bounce abnormally.
‘Boo’d Up’ contains a relatable narrative, gorgeous soul vocals, and ear-welcoming instrumentation oozing with classic neo-soul elements. The track was produced by Larrance Dopson and DJ Mustard.
Ella Mai – “Everything” feat. John Legend
‘Everything’ tells a sweet tale of a woman who appreciates the guy she’s with. Both of them are giving their all to keep their relationship healthy. According to the woman, they have everything they want.
‘Everything’ contains a relatable storyline, soul-pop vocals, and lovely instrumentation produced by DJ Mustard, Dayyon Alexander, and Jeff Alexander.
“Own It”
‘Own It’ tells an erotic tale of a woman who’s ready to get down and dirty with her significant other. She has on a T-shirt and panties and he’s on his knees servicing her body. Fluids are dripping and they are talkin’ naughty to each other while making love all night long.
‘Own It’ contains a sexy narrative, soul vocals, and slow-grinding instrumentation produced by Kosine and Miykal Snoddy.
“Run My Mouth”
‘Run My Mouth’ tells a tale of a woman who’s in love with a guy she’s in a relationship with. She’s addicted to making love to him, and every time they make love she runs her mouth in a good way because the sex is good.
‘Run My Mouth’ contains a sexy storyline, charismatic vocals, and melodic-trap instrumentation produced by DJ Mustard.
“Gut Feeling” feat. H.E.R.
‘Gut Feeling’ tells the tale of a young woman; her intuition tells her that the guy she’s in love with is guilty of something. She searches his phone looking for clues of his infidelity but finds nothing. Later that day, she asks him to come clean if he’s doing something wrong such as cheating, etc.
‘Gut Feeling’ contains a relatable storyline, charming soul vocals, and lovely instrumentation produced by DJ Mustard.
Ella Mai – “Trip”
‘Trip’ tells the tale of a woman who’s addicted to making good love with her significant other. But when she doesn’t get it, she overreacts or gets bent out of shape.
‘Trip’ contains a relatable storyline, soothing soul vocals, and piano-laden instrumentation produced by Keys and DJ Mustard.
Ella Mai – “Close”
‘Close’ tells the tale of a woman who appreciates the man she’s in love with. All day every day she thinks about him. Apparently, she’s not an easy person to be with, but somehow, his easygoingness balances her nature when they are close in each other’s arms.
‘Close’ contains a sensual storyline, charming melodies, and charismatic instrumentation produced by DJ Mustard.
Ella Mai – “Easy”
‘Easy’ tells the tale of a woman who’s in a new relationship with a guy she desires. Apparently, he’s a little uneasy about commitment. She reassures him that he should let his guard down and not worry. Therefore, she makes it easy for him to fall in love with her.
‘Easy’ contains an evergreen narrative, soul vocals, and ear-welcoming instrumentation produced by Lido and DJ Mustard.
Ella Mai – “Naked” (Bonus Track)
‘Naked’ tells the tale of a woman who’s looking for a guy who will love her unconditionally. Someone who will look past her flaws. Someone who will say she’s beautiful even when she doesn’t look the part.
‘Naked’ contains a relatable storyline, wonderful soul vocals, and sexy instrumentation produced by DJ Mustard.
“Ella Mai”
Ella Mai
In conclusion, Ella Mai’s self-titled debut studio album is a wonderful work of art. We totally enjoyed listening to each song from beginning to end.
Also, her voice sets a gorgeous tone while projecting an appealing and relatable narrative mostly focused on the up-side of romantic relationships, which contributes to the album’s feel-good vibe.
Mai’s first full-length offering is deliciously impressive and solidifies the London songstress at the helm of the contemporary R&B market.
https://www.bongminesentertainment.com/ella-mai-debut-album/
Chris Sawin (602 KP) rated Dance of the Dead (2008) in Movies
Jun 18, 2019
Jimmy Dunn (Jared Kusnitz) never seems to take anything seriously. He likes to spend more time in detention than he does in class. So it’s no surprise that Lindsey (Greyson Chadwick), the girl Jimmy was going to take to prom, decides to not go with him after realizing that Jimmy has no ambition. To make matters worse, something weird is going on in the graveyard next to the nuclear power plant in town. The dead are walking and they’re headed to the prom. The town is now in the hands of the losers who couldn’t get dates to the prom. There goes the neighborhood and here comes the pain; that is something that is certainly meant in more ways than one.
This is the type of horror film you have the urge to turn off as soon as it starts. Written by Joe Ballarini (My Little Pony: The Movie) and directed by Gregg Bishop (the “Dante the Great” segment of V/H/S Viral), Dance of the Dead is a part of the eight films that made up Ghost House Underground; horror films from all over the world chosen by Sam Raimi and Rob Tapert supposedly representing a “fresh” perspective of the horror genre. The problem is that most people would seek out one of these films and then never bother with the rest because why would you torture yourself any further?
The first 20 or so minutes of the film revolve around high school melodrama and the prom. This is supposedly where you get accustomed to the film’s humor, but it’s mostly nothing more than high school kids being obnoxious and unbearable. The graveyard scene is where things get even worse. Zombies start rising from beyond the grave and decomposing hands start bursting through headstones since that makes more sense than soil. Emerging from the ground simply wasn’t enough either; these zombies explode from their graves with smoke and a loud crash. Moments later during the same sequence, there are zombies jumping several feet into the air out of the ground, landing on their feet, and running after these kids. If it sounds cool in the slightest, then this description isn’t doing this dumpster fire justice.
The zombies are all over the place in Dance of the Dead. They start off as the zombies that run similar to the zombies in Zack Snyder’s Dawn of the Dead remake. Later on in the film, they stumble around and are slow like George Romero’s zombies. Even later after that, the zombies are running again while some attempt to speak, say, “Brains!” and then get in a car and drive off. Someone had pointed out that the zombies in the film who are fresh out of the ground run while older ones move slower, which only makes this turd milkshake slightly less nutty. Dance of the Dead also can’t decide what zombie films to pay homage to either. Return of the Living Dead has a massive influence, but the film clearly pays tribute to Night of the Living Dead when the kids reach a house and decide to board up all the windows and take shelter. It seems like the one consistent aspect this film has is to be inconsistent.
Did you know zombies can be held at bay solely by the power of rocking out? Three stoners in a band (a guitarist, a bassist, and a drummer) inadvertently discover that their music stops zombies in their tracks. A bit later in the film during the prom, the gymnasium is full of zombies. There’s music playing and it shows three zombies on stage playing musical instruments; a guitar, a bass, and a drum set. Fast forward a little more and the three stoners are back again playing their stoner rock and the zombies are back to being frozen during their performance. There’s no consistency when it comes to what they play or how it affects zombies.
“In extreme circumstances, the assailants can be stopped by removing the head or destroying the brain.” Do you remember this quote from Shaun of the Dead? Try to keep it in mind, especially the, “removing the head,” part. A guy gets his head torn off by a zombie and you’d think he’d be dead, but this actually turns his decapitated head into a zombie. He comes back later on; his headless corpse carrying his decapitated head around. It’s one thing to try and reinvent a genre, but when you have so many reinventions along with homage out to wazoo you’re basically throwing cow pies at a brick wall and seeing what sticks.
Zombies shouldn’t make out with each other. Vampires shouldn’t sparkle and Warm Bodies isn’t canon. Two students turn into zombies and still end up in a giant make out session after they’ve turned. The kiss turns awkward as they start chewing on each other mid-kiss. They start taking bites out of each other while they’re still sucking face. This is the scariest aspect of the film considering that maybe most of us don’t want our eyeballs chewed out of our skulls during something so intimate.
When the special effects aren’t being a complete eyesore from being so cheap and ugly, the gore in Dance of the Dead is decent. Blood splattering everywhere is pretty common throughout the film. The acting isn’t completely terrible either. It absolutely isn’t good by any means. Dance of the Dead is basically Degrassi with zombies and everything lame you’re expecting to tag along with that reference. Lucas Till (X-Men: First Class, MacGyver) has a brief cameo as one of the rockers in the film and he's probably the only cast member you'll recognize.
The jumbled mass of homage and redefining of zombie lore in Dance of the Dead throws a monkey wrench in calling the film stereotypical and cliché, but it certainly feels that way. It seems like a rejected, alternate, first draft of a film you’ve already seen rather than a film that attempts to stand on its own two legs. It may be fun for fans of campy horror films, but its originality is borderline offensive since Dance of the Dead seems to just combine everything you know about zombies or purposely does the opposite at an attempt at being a different chomp of undead horror. Unfortunately though, Dance of the Dead is too overwhelmingly absurd for its own good as its gore feels like the drunken antics of a washed up clown rather than a competent horror film.
Dance of the Dead is available to stream on Amazon Prime, YouTube, and Google Play for $1.99, Vudu for $2.99, and iTunes for $5.99. The DVD is $7.72 on Amazon while the Blu-ray (which is Region 2 only) is $25.52 from a third party seller. The DVD is $7.49 in new condition and with free shipping on eBay or $4 with $2.99 shipping pre-owned. If you enjoy terrible things, the eight disc set of all the Ghost House Underground titles are available as a boxed set on Amazon for $179.74 and on eBay for $39.99 in brand new condition and with free shipping.
This is the type of horror film you have the urge to turn off as soon as it starts. Written by Joe Ballarini (My Little Pony: The Movie) and directed by Gregg Bishop (the “Dante the Great” segment of V/H/S Viral), Dance of the Dead is a part of the eight films that made up Ghost House Underground; horror films from all over the world chosen by Sam Raimi and Rob Tapert supposedly representing a “fresh” perspective of the horror genre. The problem is that most people would seek out one of these films and then never bother with the rest because why would you torture yourself any further?
The first 20 or so minutes of the film revolve around high school melodrama and the prom. This is supposedly where you get accustomed to the film’s humor, but it’s mostly nothing more than high school kids being obnoxious and unbearable. The graveyard scene is where things get even worse. Zombies start rising from beyond the grave and decomposing hands start bursting through headstones since that makes more sense than soil. Emerging from the ground simply wasn’t enough either; these zombies explode from their graves with smoke and a loud crash. Moments later during the same sequence, there are zombies jumping several feet into the air out of the ground, landing on their feet, and running after these kids. If it sounds cool in the slightest, then this description isn’t doing this dumpster fire justice.
The zombies are all over the place in Dance of the Dead. They start off as the zombies that run similar to the zombies in Zack Snyder’s Dawn of the Dead remake. Later on in the film, they stumble around and are slow like George Romero’s zombies. Even later after that, the zombies are running again while some attempt to speak, say, “Brains!” and then get in a car and drive off. Someone had pointed out that the zombies in the film who are fresh out of the ground run while older ones move slower, which only makes this turd milkshake slightly less nutty. Dance of the Dead also can’t decide what zombie films to pay homage to either. Return of the Living Dead has a massive influence, but the film clearly pays tribute to Night of the Living Dead when the kids reach a house and decide to board up all the windows and take shelter. It seems like the one consistent aspect this film has is to be inconsistent.
Did you know zombies can be held at bay solely by the power of rocking out? Three stoners in a band (a guitarist, a bassist, and a drummer) inadvertently discover that their music stops zombies in their tracks. A bit later in the film during the prom, the gymnasium is full of zombies. There’s music playing and it shows three zombies on stage playing musical instruments; a guitar, a bass, and a drum set. Fast forward a little more and the three stoners are back again playing their stoner rock and the zombies are back to being frozen during their performance. There’s no consistency when it comes to what they play or how it affects zombies.
“In extreme circumstances, the assailants can be stopped by removing the head or destroying the brain.” Do you remember this quote from Shaun of the Dead? Try to keep it in mind, especially the, “removing the head,” part. A guy gets his head torn off by a zombie and you’d think he’d be dead, but this actually turns his decapitated head into a zombie. He comes back later on; his headless corpse carrying his decapitated head around. It’s one thing to try and reinvent a genre, but when you have so many reinventions along with homage out to wazoo you’re basically throwing cow pies at a brick wall and seeing what sticks.
Zombies shouldn’t make out with each other. Vampires shouldn’t sparkle and Warm Bodies isn’t canon. Two students turn into zombies and still end up in a giant make out session after they’ve turned. The kiss turns awkward as they start chewing on each other mid-kiss. They start taking bites out of each other while they’re still sucking face. This is the scariest aspect of the film considering that maybe most of us don’t want our eyeballs chewed out of our skulls during something so intimate.
When the special effects aren’t being a complete eyesore from being so cheap and ugly, the gore in Dance of the Dead is decent. Blood splattering everywhere is pretty common throughout the film. The acting isn’t completely terrible either. It absolutely isn’t good by any means. Dance of the Dead is basically Degrassi with zombies and everything lame you’re expecting to tag along with that reference. Lucas Till (X-Men: First Class, MacGyver) has a brief cameo as one of the rockers in the film and he's probably the only cast member you'll recognize.
The jumbled mass of homage and redefining of zombie lore in Dance of the Dead throws a monkey wrench in calling the film stereotypical and cliché, but it certainly feels that way. It seems like a rejected, alternate, first draft of a film you’ve already seen rather than a film that attempts to stand on its own two legs. It may be fun for fans of campy horror films, but its originality is borderline offensive since Dance of the Dead seems to just combine everything you know about zombies or purposely does the opposite at an attempt at being a different chomp of undead horror. Unfortunately though, Dance of the Dead is too overwhelmingly absurd for its own good as its gore feels like the drunken antics of a washed up clown rather than a competent horror film.
Dance of the Dead is available to stream on Amazon Prime, YouTube, and Google Play for $1.99, Vudu for $2.99, and iTunes for $5.99. The DVD is $7.72 on Amazon while the Blu-ray (which is Region 2 only) is $25.52 from a third party seller. The DVD is $7.49 in new condition and with free shipping on eBay or $4 with $2.99 shipping pre-owned. If you enjoy terrible things, the eight disc set of all the Ghost House Underground titles are available as a boxed set on Amazon for $179.74 and on eBay for $39.99 in brand new condition and with free shipping.
Chris Sawin (602 KP) rated A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010) in Movies
Jun 22, 2019 (Updated Jun 23, 2019)
Nancy (Rooney Mara) thinks she's suffering from an average case of nightmares that are causing her to lose sleep. A burned man with blades on his fingers haunts her dreams. She doesn't think much of it until her friends start getting picked off one by one while they sleep and are dreaming of the same man. Something happened during their childhood that connects them to this man that their parents are trying to cover up. As far as anyone else is concerned, Freddy Krueger (Jackie Earle Haley) never existed. What their parents refuse to believe is that Freddy exists in the dreams of their children causing them to remember their past and kill them. Now it's up to Nancy and her friend Quentin (Kyle Gallner) to figure out how the pieces of the puzzle fit before they become Freddy's next victims.
A Nightmare on Elm Street is one of the most beloved horror classics of all time. The original introduced us to Fred Krueger who would later be known as "Freddy" and evolve into one of the most popular icons in the horror genre. 26 years later, the film has been remade and Jackie Earle Haley has replaced Robert Englund as the dream-stalking child killer. Fans of the original franchise were left wondering if there was a slight chance of this being somewhat decent and if Haley's version of Freddy wouldn't be cringeworthy. Truth be told, the film may not be as bad as you're expecting.
This remake rests on the shoulders of Haley's portrayal of Freddy. If die hard horror fans can get past constantly comparing him to Englund, then they'll realize that Haley doesn't do a bad job. His Rorschach voice was actually a great choice for the role as it seemed to reverberate off the walls of the theater throughout the entire film. His stalking methods were a bit different than expected. Haley's Freddy doesn't talk as much as Englund's and seems to be off-screen just as often as he is on. The wisecracking has been toned way down, as well, but he does manage to squeeze in, "How's this for a wet dream?" Haley's version of Freddy is angry. He is PISSED that these kids squealed on him and he wants them to pay, but wants to dish out his revenge in a way that lets him have fun at the same time. His body language speaks volumes, too. His bladed fingers itch in anticipation of the kill. In fact, it seems like his fingers talk more than he does. The realistic burn victim route with the make-up seems like it's just as much a blessing as it is a curse. Freddy's eyes look really weird. They're too small and beady. He looks like kind of like a monkey when you do catch a full glimpse of his face. That's a shame, too. Since everything else looks pretty fantastic.
The storyline seems to basically follow the same path as the original film, but it probably should have skipped some of the new detours it makes along the way. Kris dreams of herself as a child with bloody claw marks across her torso and then finds the same dress with four gashes in her attic, but she doesn't have any scars from this rather severe injury she obtained when she was five? Even if the explanation was she had some sort of cosmetic surgery, wouldn't that be just as traumatic for a child? The CG version of the scene where we see Freddy coming out of the wall in the remake is probably the weakest in the entire film. The scene in the original is one of its most memorable visuals. In the remake, it's botched thanks to crummy CG. Even in comparison to the rest of the CG in the film, it doesn't measure up. It's the one scene that I wasn't able to look past. However, the micronaps idea is truly fantastic for the film. That was one thing I highly approved of going into it. The way that is pulled off is one of the highlights of the remake. It's one of those ideas that fits so perfectly, you're surprised it wasn't in the original film. Fred Krueger's background is where the film really goes into its own territory though. Fred was a gardener who lived in the basement of Badham Pre-School and the children were his life. He apparently took them to his "cave" where they emerged with scratches on their bodies. The parents of Elm Street don't bother trying to inform the police. They just burn Krueger alive as retribution to what he did to their children. While the original franchise never really came right out and said that Freddy was a child molester, it always strongly hinted at it. The remake seems to basically come right out and say that he is one without actually saying it. The evidence they find in his "cave" solidifies that fact. Maybe they felt like they needed to do that since this is such a "serious" version of Freddy...? Certain things just don't add up in the long run. Quentin and Nancy are driving in a car at one point and Quentin has a micronap where he sees Freddy in front of the car. He swerves out of the way to avoid hitting him and winds up in this boggy marsh off the side of the road. The question is WHY would you swerve out of the way of a man who was trying to kill you?
The kills seem to get more gruesome as the film goes on. It's a nice route to go, really. The last kill of the film is probably the one you'll remember most. I wasn't too incredibly attached to Nancy in the original film, but Rooney Mara's version was really boring. You don't care about what happens to her at all. You're more interested in what happens to her friends. She's an art student that can't sleep and is connected to Freddy somehow. That's pretty much all that's revealed. Why should we care that she may die?
A Nightmare on Elm Street certainly has its misfires when it comes to special effects and its storyline, but the problems it has aren't really any different than the problems most modern day horror movies have. At least the acting wasn't terrible like in an 80s slasher and the CG effects aren't incredibly outdated or anything. The film was designed to appeal to the demographic going to movie theaters to see a horror movie in 2010 and it seems to do that very well. Sure, it probably doesn't live up to the original film, but not many remakes do. If people see this without seeing the original film first, they'll probably love the remake. For original Freddy fans though, it'll probably come down to Haley's portrayal of Freddy. If you can see the film without any expectations or with finally accepting the fact that Robert Englund is no longer Freddy, it actually isn't quite as terrible as you may have originally thought. Strangely enough, it's even entertaining at times. Go figure.
A Nightmare on Elm Street is one of the most beloved horror classics of all time. The original introduced us to Fred Krueger who would later be known as "Freddy" and evolve into one of the most popular icons in the horror genre. 26 years later, the film has been remade and Jackie Earle Haley has replaced Robert Englund as the dream-stalking child killer. Fans of the original franchise were left wondering if there was a slight chance of this being somewhat decent and if Haley's version of Freddy wouldn't be cringeworthy. Truth be told, the film may not be as bad as you're expecting.
This remake rests on the shoulders of Haley's portrayal of Freddy. If die hard horror fans can get past constantly comparing him to Englund, then they'll realize that Haley doesn't do a bad job. His Rorschach voice was actually a great choice for the role as it seemed to reverberate off the walls of the theater throughout the entire film. His stalking methods were a bit different than expected. Haley's Freddy doesn't talk as much as Englund's and seems to be off-screen just as often as he is on. The wisecracking has been toned way down, as well, but he does manage to squeeze in, "How's this for a wet dream?" Haley's version of Freddy is angry. He is PISSED that these kids squealed on him and he wants them to pay, but wants to dish out his revenge in a way that lets him have fun at the same time. His body language speaks volumes, too. His bladed fingers itch in anticipation of the kill. In fact, it seems like his fingers talk more than he does. The realistic burn victim route with the make-up seems like it's just as much a blessing as it is a curse. Freddy's eyes look really weird. They're too small and beady. He looks like kind of like a monkey when you do catch a full glimpse of his face. That's a shame, too. Since everything else looks pretty fantastic.
The storyline seems to basically follow the same path as the original film, but it probably should have skipped some of the new detours it makes along the way. Kris dreams of herself as a child with bloody claw marks across her torso and then finds the same dress with four gashes in her attic, but she doesn't have any scars from this rather severe injury she obtained when she was five? Even if the explanation was she had some sort of cosmetic surgery, wouldn't that be just as traumatic for a child? The CG version of the scene where we see Freddy coming out of the wall in the remake is probably the weakest in the entire film. The scene in the original is one of its most memorable visuals. In the remake, it's botched thanks to crummy CG. Even in comparison to the rest of the CG in the film, it doesn't measure up. It's the one scene that I wasn't able to look past. However, the micronaps idea is truly fantastic for the film. That was one thing I highly approved of going into it. The way that is pulled off is one of the highlights of the remake. It's one of those ideas that fits so perfectly, you're surprised it wasn't in the original film. Fred Krueger's background is where the film really goes into its own territory though. Fred was a gardener who lived in the basement of Badham Pre-School and the children were his life. He apparently took them to his "cave" where they emerged with scratches on their bodies. The parents of Elm Street don't bother trying to inform the police. They just burn Krueger alive as retribution to what he did to their children. While the original franchise never really came right out and said that Freddy was a child molester, it always strongly hinted at it. The remake seems to basically come right out and say that he is one without actually saying it. The evidence they find in his "cave" solidifies that fact. Maybe they felt like they needed to do that since this is such a "serious" version of Freddy...? Certain things just don't add up in the long run. Quentin and Nancy are driving in a car at one point and Quentin has a micronap where he sees Freddy in front of the car. He swerves out of the way to avoid hitting him and winds up in this boggy marsh off the side of the road. The question is WHY would you swerve out of the way of a man who was trying to kill you?
The kills seem to get more gruesome as the film goes on. It's a nice route to go, really. The last kill of the film is probably the one you'll remember most. I wasn't too incredibly attached to Nancy in the original film, but Rooney Mara's version was really boring. You don't care about what happens to her at all. You're more interested in what happens to her friends. She's an art student that can't sleep and is connected to Freddy somehow. That's pretty much all that's revealed. Why should we care that she may die?
A Nightmare on Elm Street certainly has its misfires when it comes to special effects and its storyline, but the problems it has aren't really any different than the problems most modern day horror movies have. At least the acting wasn't terrible like in an 80s slasher and the CG effects aren't incredibly outdated or anything. The film was designed to appeal to the demographic going to movie theaters to see a horror movie in 2010 and it seems to do that very well. Sure, it probably doesn't live up to the original film, but not many remakes do. If people see this without seeing the original film first, they'll probably love the remake. For original Freddy fans though, it'll probably come down to Haley's portrayal of Freddy. If you can see the film without any expectations or with finally accepting the fact that Robert Englund is no longer Freddy, it actually isn't quite as terrible as you may have originally thought. Strangely enough, it's even entertaining at times. Go figure.
Purple Phoenix Games (2266 KP) rated Stellar Leap in Tabletop Games
Apr 23, 2020
You are the member of an alien species, and your mission is to explore the galaxy! Discover new solar systems, build colonies on new planets, and gather resources along the way to sustain your species. Some neighboring alien species have also decided to foray into exploration, and will likely cross your path at some point or another. Are you a friendly race, willing to cooperate and maybe even cohabit a new planet? Or are you more aggressive and less willing to share? Only time, the cards, and the dice, will tell. Put your strategy to the test as you race to become the most prestigious alien species in the galaxy. So suit up and get ready for blast off!
DISCLAIMER: We were provided a copy of this game for the purposes of this review. This is a retail copy of the game, so what you see in these photos is exactly what would be received in your box. We do not intend to cover every single rule included in the rulebook, but will describe the overall game flow and major rule set so that our readers may get a sense of how the game plays. For more in depth rules, you may purchase a copy online or from your FLGS. -T
Stellar Leap is, at its core, a worker placement game with elements of dice rolling, variable powers, and a modular ‘board’ sprinkled in. To setup, each player receives an individual player board and components, while the Galaxy is set up for use by all players. Players then add their home planet, as well as 1 population marker, to the Galaxy, and the game is ready to begin! Stellar Leap is played over a series of rounds in which players take turns performing any or all actions available to them.
To begin a turn, players first recover any Population markers that may have been exhausted on their last turn (more on that in a bit). Next, the player rolls the two dice, manipulating them with Special Dice Powers if desired, and resources are collected. The Galaxy is set up in columns, each column numbered 1-6, to which these dice rolls will correspond. If you have a Population marker on a planet in one of the columns that corresponds to your die roll (you have a Population in column 4 and you rolled a 4), you collect the resources provided by that planet. It is important to note that any player can receive resources from a die roll, even if it is not their turn!
The next phase of play involves three elements: Movement, High Command Actions, and Division Actions. There is no limit to the amount of Movement you can take on your turn, as long as you have resources available to perform that action. You may take two High Command Actions: Populate (add a new Population marker to a planet), Tax (collect any two resources), Discover (add planets/asteroids to the Galaxy), or Attack (fight an opponent located on the same planet as yourself). The same High Command Action could be performed twice on your turn, but you can only perform two per turn. The Division Actions can each be taken once per turn. Those actions are: Intelligence (complete a Mission), Mining (mine an asteroid for resources), or Labor (exhaust one of your populations on a planet to receive additional resources). Movement, High Command Actions, and Division Actions can be taken in any order on your turn – turns are not ‘set’ in a specific order and actions can be taken at your discretion. You also are not required to take every available action on your turn if you do not want to – your turns could be as long or as brief as you want them to be, depending on which actions you want to take.
At certain points throughout play, Events will be triggered. When an Event is triggered, draw the top Event card and resolve its effect. Some are resolved immediately, and some remain in play for the rest of the game. The game ends once six Events have been triggered. Players then tally up their Prestige points (earned by completing Missions, discovering planets, winning combats, and fulfilling their secret objectives), and the player with the highest Prestige is declared the winner!
So as you can see, there is quite a bit going on in Stellar Leap. Admittedly, it seemed pretty daunting to me as I first read through the rules. But in all actuality, the game flows pretty efficiently and calmly. How? Player Reference cards! I absolutely looooove a game that includes good references cards for player turns because it makes it so much easier to check instead of digging through the entire rulebook for an answer. The Player Reference cards included in this game are well-written, clear, and concise, and that truly helps the game flow smoothly even though there are many elements to every turn. Another thing that I love about Stellar Leap is that you have so many strategic options. Everyone has their own secret objectives for end-game scoring to complete, but you also have to decide which Missions you’d like to accomplish to earn points as well. And do you want to risk many combats, or would you rather live harmoniously with your opponents? When adding planets/asteroids to the Galaxy, you also have to strategize where you should put them – do you want them close to you for easy access? Or do you want to keep them as far away from opponents as necessary? The modular board makes this a different game every time you play, so you can’t just pick a blanket strategy for every play.
The only thing that gives me pause with this game are the rules regarding Movement. You pay certain resources to move, but it depends on the ‘threat level’ of the destination as well as its location in your Solar System or a neighboring Solar System. It just was a little tricky to keep track of how many of each resource I had to pay to move, when moving more than just one planet away. That aspect takes a little bit more concentration, but other than that, the game gave me no issues.
Speaking of no issues, let’s touch on components. The player boards are dual-layered and they are awesome. The text is clear, the organization is logical, and they are just of a great quality. The cards are nice and sturdy, the ‘meeples’ are cute and chunky, and the cardboard chits are good too. The space theme is definitely translated well in this game, and that adds to the immersion.
Overall, I would say Stellar Leap is stellar. (Ha, see what I did there?) The gameplay is engaging and the strategy is adaptable. Some of the rules seem a little tedious in some aspects, but for the most part, they are logical and easy to remember. Weird Giraffe Games is a publisher that has made a blip on our radar, and we are excited to see what other games they will put out in the future – we’ve been impressed so far! Purple Phoenix Games gives Stellar Leap an other-worldly 9 / 12.
DISCLAIMER: We were provided a copy of this game for the purposes of this review. This is a retail copy of the game, so what you see in these photos is exactly what would be received in your box. We do not intend to cover every single rule included in the rulebook, but will describe the overall game flow and major rule set so that our readers may get a sense of how the game plays. For more in depth rules, you may purchase a copy online or from your FLGS. -T
Stellar Leap is, at its core, a worker placement game with elements of dice rolling, variable powers, and a modular ‘board’ sprinkled in. To setup, each player receives an individual player board and components, while the Galaxy is set up for use by all players. Players then add their home planet, as well as 1 population marker, to the Galaxy, and the game is ready to begin! Stellar Leap is played over a series of rounds in which players take turns performing any or all actions available to them.
To begin a turn, players first recover any Population markers that may have been exhausted on their last turn (more on that in a bit). Next, the player rolls the two dice, manipulating them with Special Dice Powers if desired, and resources are collected. The Galaxy is set up in columns, each column numbered 1-6, to which these dice rolls will correspond. If you have a Population marker on a planet in one of the columns that corresponds to your die roll (you have a Population in column 4 and you rolled a 4), you collect the resources provided by that planet. It is important to note that any player can receive resources from a die roll, even if it is not their turn!
The next phase of play involves three elements: Movement, High Command Actions, and Division Actions. There is no limit to the amount of Movement you can take on your turn, as long as you have resources available to perform that action. You may take two High Command Actions: Populate (add a new Population marker to a planet), Tax (collect any two resources), Discover (add planets/asteroids to the Galaxy), or Attack (fight an opponent located on the same planet as yourself). The same High Command Action could be performed twice on your turn, but you can only perform two per turn. The Division Actions can each be taken once per turn. Those actions are: Intelligence (complete a Mission), Mining (mine an asteroid for resources), or Labor (exhaust one of your populations on a planet to receive additional resources). Movement, High Command Actions, and Division Actions can be taken in any order on your turn – turns are not ‘set’ in a specific order and actions can be taken at your discretion. You also are not required to take every available action on your turn if you do not want to – your turns could be as long or as brief as you want them to be, depending on which actions you want to take.
At certain points throughout play, Events will be triggered. When an Event is triggered, draw the top Event card and resolve its effect. Some are resolved immediately, and some remain in play for the rest of the game. The game ends once six Events have been triggered. Players then tally up their Prestige points (earned by completing Missions, discovering planets, winning combats, and fulfilling their secret objectives), and the player with the highest Prestige is declared the winner!
So as you can see, there is quite a bit going on in Stellar Leap. Admittedly, it seemed pretty daunting to me as I first read through the rules. But in all actuality, the game flows pretty efficiently and calmly. How? Player Reference cards! I absolutely looooove a game that includes good references cards for player turns because it makes it so much easier to check instead of digging through the entire rulebook for an answer. The Player Reference cards included in this game are well-written, clear, and concise, and that truly helps the game flow smoothly even though there are many elements to every turn. Another thing that I love about Stellar Leap is that you have so many strategic options. Everyone has their own secret objectives for end-game scoring to complete, but you also have to decide which Missions you’d like to accomplish to earn points as well. And do you want to risk many combats, or would you rather live harmoniously with your opponents? When adding planets/asteroids to the Galaxy, you also have to strategize where you should put them – do you want them close to you for easy access? Or do you want to keep them as far away from opponents as necessary? The modular board makes this a different game every time you play, so you can’t just pick a blanket strategy for every play.
The only thing that gives me pause with this game are the rules regarding Movement. You pay certain resources to move, but it depends on the ‘threat level’ of the destination as well as its location in your Solar System or a neighboring Solar System. It just was a little tricky to keep track of how many of each resource I had to pay to move, when moving more than just one planet away. That aspect takes a little bit more concentration, but other than that, the game gave me no issues.
Speaking of no issues, let’s touch on components. The player boards are dual-layered and they are awesome. The text is clear, the organization is logical, and they are just of a great quality. The cards are nice and sturdy, the ‘meeples’ are cute and chunky, and the cardboard chits are good too. The space theme is definitely translated well in this game, and that adds to the immersion.
Overall, I would say Stellar Leap is stellar. (Ha, see what I did there?) The gameplay is engaging and the strategy is adaptable. Some of the rules seem a little tedious in some aspects, but for the most part, they are logical and easy to remember. Weird Giraffe Games is a publisher that has made a blip on our radar, and we are excited to see what other games they will put out in the future – we’ve been impressed so far! Purple Phoenix Games gives Stellar Leap an other-worldly 9 / 12.
Purple Phoenix Games (2266 KP) rated Gift of Tulips in Tabletop Games
Mar 2, 2021
Admittedly, I have never attended a tulip festival. Nor a Renaissance faire. Nor many other festivals that are niche and awesome. I would love to attend one in the future, but I cannot see myself traveling all the way to Amsterdam for the great Tulip Festival. Luckily, I no longer need to, as Gift of Tulips has arrived to my doorstep! But someone please invite me to a Ren Faire when we are able to commune once again.
Gift of Tulips is a game of choices. In it players are attendees at the festival attempting to gather the most beautiful bouquet of flowers for themselves as well as gifting some to friends. The winner of the game is the player who can best decide which tulips should be kept, which should be gifted, and which should be donated to the secret festival.
DISCLAIMER: We were provided a prototype copy of this game for the purposes of this review. These are preview copy components, and I do not know for sure if the final components will be any different from these shown. Also, it is not my intention to detail every rule in the game, as there are just too many. You are invited to download the rulebook, back the game through the Kickstarter campaign, or through any retailers stocking it after fulfillment. -T
To setup refer to the rulebook to adjust the deck of tulip cards per number of players. Shuffle this deck and place aside for now. Each player receives a scoring card, reference card, favorite color player cube, and two tulip cards from the deck. Per number of players set the appropriate Festival Cards on the table from 1st Place through 4th Place. Draw two cards from the deck and place the highest-numbered card under the 1st Place Festival Card and the lower valued tulip card under 2nd Place. Each player then looks at their dealt cards and decides which they would like to keep to start their personal bouquet and which they wish to donate face-down to the secret festival stack. The game is now ready to begin!
On a turn the active player will draw one card from the deck and then perform one action. Next they will draw a second card and perform a different action (not the same action as the first). The available actions are keeping a tulip for the bouquet, gifting the tulip to a friend, or adding a card to either the festival or the secret festival stack.
Keeping a tulip for the player’s bouquet is simply that: place the card face-up in front of the player and score immediate points depending on the tulip type’s position in the festival. This is also important when scoring for gifting. As tulips are added to their types in the festival, their placement in the festival can change. So while a purple tulip, for example, begins the game as the highest numbered tulip in the 1st position, another tulip type, orange maybe, may possibly overtake the 1st position cards by having a larger total value in tulips. When this happens, the newly-increased-in-rank tulip stack pushes the next highest into the lower position. Each position’s festival card will contain icons that award points for when that type of tulip is kept, given, and when majority of cards is owned at endgame.
Similarly, when a player opts to gift a tulip for an action, they simply choose an opponent (well, friend) and give them the card. By referencing the tulip type’s current position in the festival the player may score immediate points.
Lastly the player may choose to donate their tulip to the festival (face-up under the Festival Cards or face-down into the secret festival stack). By donating to the festival proper they will add the card to the appropriate type stack and adjust the total value and position within the festival. Should the player wish to add the card to the secret festival stack, they simply add it face-down.
Once all cards have been drawn and played from the deck the game is over and final scoring may begin. Firstly the secret festival cards are to be shuffled and five from this deck will be added to the festival proper to fine-tune some value adjustments (so that is why players may want to add to the secret festival during play). Once the five cards have been added players will address each tulip type by placement in the festival. The tulip type under the 1st Place card will score majority points to the player with the majority of that type of card (not value, but number of flowers). Similarly, the player with the second most of that type will score the second majority and so on through 4th Place. The player with the most points at the end of the game has won and will now owe the other players a bouquet of real flowers. Well, maybe not that last part.
Components. Again, this is a prototype copy of the game so components may be different as a result of a successful Kickstarter campaign. That said, this is a bunch of cards and some token markers (cubes in the prototype). The cards all feature incredible botanical artwork that is simply beautiful to behold. The card backs and Festival Cards all feature a lovely delftware pattern from the Netherlands. The artwork on this game is amazing and really colorful, like so many from Weird Giraffe Games.
But do I enjoy the gameplay? Absolutely. It reminds my wife and me of a great little game called Biblios where players are choosing where to allocate cards, and are not allowed to simply gobble them for themselves. Being able to adjust the market, if you will, is also a mechanic that I truly enjoy. A static market is fine, but those kinds of games are a little easier to abuse. Constantly shifting markets is where it’s at.
Being able to gift your opponents higher cards for those immediate points is new and clever, but you have to always be keeping track of the number of cards given per type. Obviously shuffling all your blue tulips to the same person may result in that person holding majority at endgame. But then again, there are ways to adjust the market to counter that. It is just so fun to think about and play.
I also am in love with the art. I mentioned this in my components review but I simply love the way this game looks. Art and theme go a long way with me, and this one certainly has both in spades.
So if you are a fan of beautiful games with a quick teach and light to medium gameplay, I urge you to check this out. The art and theme are strong, the gameplay is super solid and fun, and you feel great donating so many lovely flowers at the end of the game. If you are looking for that gorgeous game to complete your collection, or you need a game to fill that empty Netherlands slot in your collection, please consider backing Gift of Tulips. When you have a game that uses both orange and purple as main colors you KNOW it’s going to be great!
Gift of Tulips is a game of choices. In it players are attendees at the festival attempting to gather the most beautiful bouquet of flowers for themselves as well as gifting some to friends. The winner of the game is the player who can best decide which tulips should be kept, which should be gifted, and which should be donated to the secret festival.
DISCLAIMER: We were provided a prototype copy of this game for the purposes of this review. These are preview copy components, and I do not know for sure if the final components will be any different from these shown. Also, it is not my intention to detail every rule in the game, as there are just too many. You are invited to download the rulebook, back the game through the Kickstarter campaign, or through any retailers stocking it after fulfillment. -T
To setup refer to the rulebook to adjust the deck of tulip cards per number of players. Shuffle this deck and place aside for now. Each player receives a scoring card, reference card, favorite color player cube, and two tulip cards from the deck. Per number of players set the appropriate Festival Cards on the table from 1st Place through 4th Place. Draw two cards from the deck and place the highest-numbered card under the 1st Place Festival Card and the lower valued tulip card under 2nd Place. Each player then looks at their dealt cards and decides which they would like to keep to start their personal bouquet and which they wish to donate face-down to the secret festival stack. The game is now ready to begin!
On a turn the active player will draw one card from the deck and then perform one action. Next they will draw a second card and perform a different action (not the same action as the first). The available actions are keeping a tulip for the bouquet, gifting the tulip to a friend, or adding a card to either the festival or the secret festival stack.
Keeping a tulip for the player’s bouquet is simply that: place the card face-up in front of the player and score immediate points depending on the tulip type’s position in the festival. This is also important when scoring for gifting. As tulips are added to their types in the festival, their placement in the festival can change. So while a purple tulip, for example, begins the game as the highest numbered tulip in the 1st position, another tulip type, orange maybe, may possibly overtake the 1st position cards by having a larger total value in tulips. When this happens, the newly-increased-in-rank tulip stack pushes the next highest into the lower position. Each position’s festival card will contain icons that award points for when that type of tulip is kept, given, and when majority of cards is owned at endgame.
Similarly, when a player opts to gift a tulip for an action, they simply choose an opponent (well, friend) and give them the card. By referencing the tulip type’s current position in the festival the player may score immediate points.
Lastly the player may choose to donate their tulip to the festival (face-up under the Festival Cards or face-down into the secret festival stack). By donating to the festival proper they will add the card to the appropriate type stack and adjust the total value and position within the festival. Should the player wish to add the card to the secret festival stack, they simply add it face-down.
Once all cards have been drawn and played from the deck the game is over and final scoring may begin. Firstly the secret festival cards are to be shuffled and five from this deck will be added to the festival proper to fine-tune some value adjustments (so that is why players may want to add to the secret festival during play). Once the five cards have been added players will address each tulip type by placement in the festival. The tulip type under the 1st Place card will score majority points to the player with the majority of that type of card (not value, but number of flowers). Similarly, the player with the second most of that type will score the second majority and so on through 4th Place. The player with the most points at the end of the game has won and will now owe the other players a bouquet of real flowers. Well, maybe not that last part.
Components. Again, this is a prototype copy of the game so components may be different as a result of a successful Kickstarter campaign. That said, this is a bunch of cards and some token markers (cubes in the prototype). The cards all feature incredible botanical artwork that is simply beautiful to behold. The card backs and Festival Cards all feature a lovely delftware pattern from the Netherlands. The artwork on this game is amazing and really colorful, like so many from Weird Giraffe Games.
But do I enjoy the gameplay? Absolutely. It reminds my wife and me of a great little game called Biblios where players are choosing where to allocate cards, and are not allowed to simply gobble them for themselves. Being able to adjust the market, if you will, is also a mechanic that I truly enjoy. A static market is fine, but those kinds of games are a little easier to abuse. Constantly shifting markets is where it’s at.
Being able to gift your opponents higher cards for those immediate points is new and clever, but you have to always be keeping track of the number of cards given per type. Obviously shuffling all your blue tulips to the same person may result in that person holding majority at endgame. But then again, there are ways to adjust the market to counter that. It is just so fun to think about and play.
I also am in love with the art. I mentioned this in my components review but I simply love the way this game looks. Art and theme go a long way with me, and this one certainly has both in spades.
So if you are a fan of beautiful games with a quick teach and light to medium gameplay, I urge you to check this out. The art and theme are strong, the gameplay is super solid and fun, and you feel great donating so many lovely flowers at the end of the game. If you are looking for that gorgeous game to complete your collection, or you need a game to fill that empty Netherlands slot in your collection, please consider backing Gift of Tulips. When you have a game that uses both orange and purple as main colors you KNOW it’s going to be great!
Purple Phoenix Games (2266 KP) rated Gizmos in Tabletop Games
Apr 20, 2021
I have absolutely never been very good at science. At least not in school. So when I started reading the rule for Gizmos and found out it was set at a science fair I thought I was doomed. Well, turns out you don’t really need to know anything about science to enjoy this one or be decent at playing. So if you are like me and don’t remember anything besides the Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell, then read on about a great game called Gizmos.
Gizmos is a card drafting, energy collecting, engine building game about, well, building engines. Players will be attempting to draft machine parts from an offer pyramid and build them onto their master jalopy machine using energy marbles in order to chain actions together and maximize their turns. The victorious player is they that claims the most VP from cards and bonus VP tokens at the end of the game.
To setup, assemble the energy dispenser (the marble gumball machine looking component) and place it on the table. Fill it with all the marbles and marvel at the first six that come out into a chute display. Separate and shuffle the card decks by their backs and set out four cards of level I, three cards of level II and two cards of level III. Determine starting player and give them the starting tableau board. Each player will receive a tableau board, an energy ring, and a starting gizmo to be placed under the File section of their board. The game may now begin!
On a player’s turn they will be completing one action from the four actions printed on their player board: File, Pick, Build, and Research. The File action is used when a player chooses a card from the gizmo pyramid (from any level) and places it in their Archive – an imaginary area to the right (or even above I’ve found) their player board. At the beginning of the game players will be able to hold just one gizmo in their Archive, but as they draft and build Upgrades, this number can increase. When choosing the Pick action, the player will simply choose one of the energy marbles from the dispenser chute and place them in their energy ring. Initially rings are only able to hold five marbles, but this also can be increased on future builds. To Build a gizmo into a player’s machine, the player will spend a specific color and number of energy marbles printed on the chosen gizmo card to place the card into their player tableau. These gizmos could possibly be Upgrades, energy Converters, or upgrades to the File, Pick, and Build actions. Pay the energy marble to the dispenser supply. Players will choose to Research when they do not like the gizmos on display in the gizmo pyramid. Researching allows players to draw the top cards from any face-down level deck and choose one to either File or Build.
The game is super simple to this point, but this is where the true strategy and tactics come into play. Though there will always be nine gizmos on display during a player’s turn, the value of these gizmos are in how they are used in the player tableau. Yes each gizmo allows for some benefit, but successful players will be able to utilize these benefits to create chain reactions. When an action is spent to do a thing, gizmos in play in the tableau will sometimes link to the action, or to the placement of a certain type of card, or a certain energy type (color) of gizmo built. It is mastering these chain reactions that creates next-level strategizing and separates the players from the champions. Play continues on in this fashion until a player has built their fourth level III gizmo or their 16th gizmo in total. Count up VP from built gizmos and bonus tokens earned from built gizmos throughout the game to see who wins the science fair (is that what happens at science fairs? People win those, right?)!
Components. So the gizmo cards are fine, and the cardboard components are fine as well. The marbles are interesting and bubbled plastic (or resin, I told you I’m not great at science) and come in great colors. The true star component here is that energy marble dispenser. It is absolutely brilliant. The game comes with assembly instructions, thankfully, but once it’s built, it’s built forever. It packs neatly back into the box, and the insert is very very well done. The artwork on this is surprisingly secondary to me. In fact, I don’t really remember even looking at much of the artwork on the gizmo cards as I was playing because I concentrate so much more on the effects of the gizmos and trying to figure out my next move to really sit and gawk at the art. The iconography takes a little time to get used to, but once you have seen it in action for a few rounds, you catch on quickly. All in all, a fine set of components, but with the insert and dispenser, now a great set of components.
I adore this game! I love engine builders, and the chain reactions you can create with your gizmos are excellent and can be very powerful. You can try to generate tons of bonus VP from your gizmos, or concentrate on versatile energy marbles using a bunch of Converters, or simply go guns blazing on everything you can afford to try to blitz to 16 gizmos built. Whatever your play style, Gizmos can certainly allow you to play your way while giving you choices upon choices to make each turn.
With all these positives, I had to find a negative, right? Well, ok, yes, but it’s super minor to me here. I don’t really feel like the theme is very immersive. Not once have I felt like I am building a machine in order to win a science fair, but I do feel like I need to maximize my turn every time in order to grab more energy, or to build better Upgrades and Converters so I can grab any gizmo I want and build it right away. So, theme is there, but not at all strong.
Though the theme is just okay, the game play certainly is stellar. This one has everything I like in an engine building game, and has unique and interesting components. Would I like it more if the theme was different. I doubt it. The game play is just so good that the theme and artwork takes a back seat for me, and that’s super weird for me to type. Should you be looking for a great engine building game that looks awesome on the table, has cool components, and allows you to play differently every game, then go find yourself a copy of Gizmos. Purple Phoenix Games gives it an energetic 21 / 24. Now if only my 4-year-old could keep the energy marbles in the chute or the ring and not on the floor…
Gizmos is a card drafting, energy collecting, engine building game about, well, building engines. Players will be attempting to draft machine parts from an offer pyramid and build them onto their master jalopy machine using energy marbles in order to chain actions together and maximize their turns. The victorious player is they that claims the most VP from cards and bonus VP tokens at the end of the game.
To setup, assemble the energy dispenser (the marble gumball machine looking component) and place it on the table. Fill it with all the marbles and marvel at the first six that come out into a chute display. Separate and shuffle the card decks by their backs and set out four cards of level I, three cards of level II and two cards of level III. Determine starting player and give them the starting tableau board. Each player will receive a tableau board, an energy ring, and a starting gizmo to be placed under the File section of their board. The game may now begin!
On a player’s turn they will be completing one action from the four actions printed on their player board: File, Pick, Build, and Research. The File action is used when a player chooses a card from the gizmo pyramid (from any level) and places it in their Archive – an imaginary area to the right (or even above I’ve found) their player board. At the beginning of the game players will be able to hold just one gizmo in their Archive, but as they draft and build Upgrades, this number can increase. When choosing the Pick action, the player will simply choose one of the energy marbles from the dispenser chute and place them in their energy ring. Initially rings are only able to hold five marbles, but this also can be increased on future builds. To Build a gizmo into a player’s machine, the player will spend a specific color and number of energy marbles printed on the chosen gizmo card to place the card into their player tableau. These gizmos could possibly be Upgrades, energy Converters, or upgrades to the File, Pick, and Build actions. Pay the energy marble to the dispenser supply. Players will choose to Research when they do not like the gizmos on display in the gizmo pyramid. Researching allows players to draw the top cards from any face-down level deck and choose one to either File or Build.
The game is super simple to this point, but this is where the true strategy and tactics come into play. Though there will always be nine gizmos on display during a player’s turn, the value of these gizmos are in how they are used in the player tableau. Yes each gizmo allows for some benefit, but successful players will be able to utilize these benefits to create chain reactions. When an action is spent to do a thing, gizmos in play in the tableau will sometimes link to the action, or to the placement of a certain type of card, or a certain energy type (color) of gizmo built. It is mastering these chain reactions that creates next-level strategizing and separates the players from the champions. Play continues on in this fashion until a player has built their fourth level III gizmo or their 16th gizmo in total. Count up VP from built gizmos and bonus tokens earned from built gizmos throughout the game to see who wins the science fair (is that what happens at science fairs? People win those, right?)!
Components. So the gizmo cards are fine, and the cardboard components are fine as well. The marbles are interesting and bubbled plastic (or resin, I told you I’m not great at science) and come in great colors. The true star component here is that energy marble dispenser. It is absolutely brilliant. The game comes with assembly instructions, thankfully, but once it’s built, it’s built forever. It packs neatly back into the box, and the insert is very very well done. The artwork on this is surprisingly secondary to me. In fact, I don’t really remember even looking at much of the artwork on the gizmo cards as I was playing because I concentrate so much more on the effects of the gizmos and trying to figure out my next move to really sit and gawk at the art. The iconography takes a little time to get used to, but once you have seen it in action for a few rounds, you catch on quickly. All in all, a fine set of components, but with the insert and dispenser, now a great set of components.
I adore this game! I love engine builders, and the chain reactions you can create with your gizmos are excellent and can be very powerful. You can try to generate tons of bonus VP from your gizmos, or concentrate on versatile energy marbles using a bunch of Converters, or simply go guns blazing on everything you can afford to try to blitz to 16 gizmos built. Whatever your play style, Gizmos can certainly allow you to play your way while giving you choices upon choices to make each turn.
With all these positives, I had to find a negative, right? Well, ok, yes, but it’s super minor to me here. I don’t really feel like the theme is very immersive. Not once have I felt like I am building a machine in order to win a science fair, but I do feel like I need to maximize my turn every time in order to grab more energy, or to build better Upgrades and Converters so I can grab any gizmo I want and build it right away. So, theme is there, but not at all strong.
Though the theme is just okay, the game play certainly is stellar. This one has everything I like in an engine building game, and has unique and interesting components. Would I like it more if the theme was different. I doubt it. The game play is just so good that the theme and artwork takes a back seat for me, and that’s super weird for me to type. Should you be looking for a great engine building game that looks awesome on the table, has cool components, and allows you to play differently every game, then go find yourself a copy of Gizmos. Purple Phoenix Games gives it an energetic 21 / 24. Now if only my 4-year-old could keep the energy marbles in the chute or the ring and not on the floor…
Purple Phoenix Games (2266 KP) rated Big Easy Busking in Tabletop Games
Sep 15, 2020
Ahh New Orleans. If there ever was a city I NEED to revisit, it’s New Orleans. I love nearly everything about it. The history, the art and music, the architecture, and strolling down Frenchman Street at night listening to the hottest music I’ve ever heard live. But what is it like to BE a musician in NOLA? Or even a group’s manager? Well, I’ve never played in New Orleans (I am a professional trumpet player – don’t belive me? Check out the last photo in this review to see my axe and the box as proof), but I can imagine how it would go. Does Big Easy Busking capture the feeling? Let’s find out together.
Big Easy Busking is a card-based area control game with a sweet sweet music theme. Players will be taking turns learning charts, playing charts, and transferring energy from the musicians to the crowd and back. The winner of Big Easy Busking is the player who can score the biggest haul in tips for the weekend to become the hottest band in town.
DISCLAIMER: We were provided a copy of this game for the purposes of this review. This is a retail copy of the game, so what you see in these photos is exactly what would be received in your box. I do not intend to cover every single rule included in the rulebook, but will describe the overall game flow and major rule set so that our readers may get a sense of how the game plays. For more in depth rules, you may purchase a copy online or from your FLGS. -T
To setup, two “streets” in New Orleans will need to be populated with song cards, both standards and learnable tunes. Crowd cards will be placed under the streets to depict certain crowds and what the moods of those crowds are. Each player will receive some starting bread (money for those not in the biz), energy for their 3-piece band of sax, trumpet, and drums, a starting set list of three tunes, and a reference card that has nothing to do with the metaphor. Decide who can play the highest note (if you are all trumpet players) and the gig may begin!
A turn is broken down into a few different parts. The first thing to be done on a turn is to finish playing the song that had been started in the previous round. Obviously you need to START playing a song to be able to finish, so the primary phase of the turn would be to either learn a song from the song offer or start playing a song from those dealt during setup. To play a song, players will choose a song card, place it under a crowd card (hopefully matching their mood: masks, hearts, beads, fleur-de-lis), gather the required energy from the musicians appropriately, and add those energy cubes to the song card.
After a song is started or learned, the player’s turn is over. On the next turn the player will finish playing the song by moving the spent energy to the crowd in full and taking $1 or moving some of the energy to the crowd and some back to their band members to be used on future songs.
The middle step in a turn (yes, I know I am explaining it out of order, but you do have to start playing a song before you can finish it) is to optionally tip your band members by trading in money for energy at a 1:1 ratio.
Once all players have used up their energy cubes or simply wish to, they will announce that they are “taking a break.” In other words, they pass for the remainder of the round. As the last player takes their break the end of round activities begin. Printed on each crowd card are two important icons: payout amounts for majority of energy and payout amounts for energy reaching the threshold. Resolving each crowd card will determine the players that hold majority or shared majority in each crowd location. For the majority holders payouts will reflect what is printed on the upper left of the crowd card. The upper right of the crowd card displays the number of energy needed upon it to meet the threshold in order to be paid the amount shown. When all crowd cards have been scored players will setup for the next night (round) per the rules. Play continues in this way over three rounds with the winner being the player at the end of the game with the most money.
Components. This is a smaller box (not exactly the same size, but think Tiny Epic), but it is packed with some really amazing bits. First off, as you can tell from the photos the art and color palette used here is simply phenomenal. I absolutely love the color scheme and the art certainly reminds me of some paintings we purchased from an artist on Jackson Square last time we were able to visit. The cards are nice, but I think I will want to sleeve them eventually as I had them in my hands the whole game. The cardboard money and mood tokens are fine, and the wooden cubes reflect the colorful nature of this little gem. All in all, exactly what I would expect from components in a Weird Giraffe Games production. Stellar (see what I did there, Carla?).
I have not really enjoyed a ton of area control games in my gaming history. So this came as a little bit of a shock as I truly loved playing this game. Even the solo rules are engaging and DIFFICULT to win. I came close though – within $1. The game is super quick as you are trying to please the crowds and their distinct moods with your best charts, but having to be mindful of not overextending your musicians lest they be too exhausted to give you the gas when you need it. THAT part resonates with me personally. Being a musician myself, I can tell you that crowds that are into a tune or a band and give them all the energy they have will be rewarded with even more from the band. I definitely give it more when the crowd digs what we’re laying down.
In any case, this is a game review, not a nostalgic trip down my musical memory lane. But then again, a little card game just brought me back wonderful memories of my band, and of visiting New Orleans, and of the joy of live music. Does Big Easy Busking completely mimic what it’s like to be a musician? Well, no, I can’t imagine how any game truly could, but it certainly shows the cyclical nature of energy being exchanged between musicians and appreciative crowds. Oh, the names of the tunes are also pretty funny on some. This all said, I super love this game and will be kicking out something in my collection to make room for it. If you are needing a smaller card game that you can bring out with musicians or non-musicians that appreciate the theme but also want to start introducing area control in a more accessible form, please do check out Big Easy Busking. Purple Phoenix Games gives it a good-for-the-soul 10 / 12. Maybe once I get into video I will do a Dan King (Game Boy Geek) serenade for Big Easy Busking as it travels into my collection.
Big Easy Busking is a card-based area control game with a sweet sweet music theme. Players will be taking turns learning charts, playing charts, and transferring energy from the musicians to the crowd and back. The winner of Big Easy Busking is the player who can score the biggest haul in tips for the weekend to become the hottest band in town.
DISCLAIMER: We were provided a copy of this game for the purposes of this review. This is a retail copy of the game, so what you see in these photos is exactly what would be received in your box. I do not intend to cover every single rule included in the rulebook, but will describe the overall game flow and major rule set so that our readers may get a sense of how the game plays. For more in depth rules, you may purchase a copy online or from your FLGS. -T
To setup, two “streets” in New Orleans will need to be populated with song cards, both standards and learnable tunes. Crowd cards will be placed under the streets to depict certain crowds and what the moods of those crowds are. Each player will receive some starting bread (money for those not in the biz), energy for their 3-piece band of sax, trumpet, and drums, a starting set list of three tunes, and a reference card that has nothing to do with the metaphor. Decide who can play the highest note (if you are all trumpet players) and the gig may begin!
A turn is broken down into a few different parts. The first thing to be done on a turn is to finish playing the song that had been started in the previous round. Obviously you need to START playing a song to be able to finish, so the primary phase of the turn would be to either learn a song from the song offer or start playing a song from those dealt during setup. To play a song, players will choose a song card, place it under a crowd card (hopefully matching their mood: masks, hearts, beads, fleur-de-lis), gather the required energy from the musicians appropriately, and add those energy cubes to the song card.
After a song is started or learned, the player’s turn is over. On the next turn the player will finish playing the song by moving the spent energy to the crowd in full and taking $1 or moving some of the energy to the crowd and some back to their band members to be used on future songs.
The middle step in a turn (yes, I know I am explaining it out of order, but you do have to start playing a song before you can finish it) is to optionally tip your band members by trading in money for energy at a 1:1 ratio.
Once all players have used up their energy cubes or simply wish to, they will announce that they are “taking a break.” In other words, they pass for the remainder of the round. As the last player takes their break the end of round activities begin. Printed on each crowd card are two important icons: payout amounts for majority of energy and payout amounts for energy reaching the threshold. Resolving each crowd card will determine the players that hold majority or shared majority in each crowd location. For the majority holders payouts will reflect what is printed on the upper left of the crowd card. The upper right of the crowd card displays the number of energy needed upon it to meet the threshold in order to be paid the amount shown. When all crowd cards have been scored players will setup for the next night (round) per the rules. Play continues in this way over three rounds with the winner being the player at the end of the game with the most money.
Components. This is a smaller box (not exactly the same size, but think Tiny Epic), but it is packed with some really amazing bits. First off, as you can tell from the photos the art and color palette used here is simply phenomenal. I absolutely love the color scheme and the art certainly reminds me of some paintings we purchased from an artist on Jackson Square last time we were able to visit. The cards are nice, but I think I will want to sleeve them eventually as I had them in my hands the whole game. The cardboard money and mood tokens are fine, and the wooden cubes reflect the colorful nature of this little gem. All in all, exactly what I would expect from components in a Weird Giraffe Games production. Stellar (see what I did there, Carla?).
I have not really enjoyed a ton of area control games in my gaming history. So this came as a little bit of a shock as I truly loved playing this game. Even the solo rules are engaging and DIFFICULT to win. I came close though – within $1. The game is super quick as you are trying to please the crowds and their distinct moods with your best charts, but having to be mindful of not overextending your musicians lest they be too exhausted to give you the gas when you need it. THAT part resonates with me personally. Being a musician myself, I can tell you that crowds that are into a tune or a band and give them all the energy they have will be rewarded with even more from the band. I definitely give it more when the crowd digs what we’re laying down.
In any case, this is a game review, not a nostalgic trip down my musical memory lane. But then again, a little card game just brought me back wonderful memories of my band, and of visiting New Orleans, and of the joy of live music. Does Big Easy Busking completely mimic what it’s like to be a musician? Well, no, I can’t imagine how any game truly could, but it certainly shows the cyclical nature of energy being exchanged between musicians and appreciative crowds. Oh, the names of the tunes are also pretty funny on some. This all said, I super love this game and will be kicking out something in my collection to make room for it. If you are needing a smaller card game that you can bring out with musicians or non-musicians that appreciate the theme but also want to start introducing area control in a more accessible form, please do check out Big Easy Busking. Purple Phoenix Games gives it a good-for-the-soul 10 / 12. Maybe once I get into video I will do a Dan King (Game Boy Geek) serenade for Big Easy Busking as it travels into my collection.
