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Midge (525 KP) rated The Nowhere Child in Books

Mar 11, 2019  
The Nowhere Child
The Nowhere Child
Christian White | 2019 | Crime, Fiction & Poetry, Mystery
10
8.8 (5 Ratings)
Book Rating
Brilliant And Dark
“The Nowhere Child” is a debut psychological thriller by Christian White and it was so special! Several things cast their spell - my favourite genre; a very smart cover design; winner of the Victorian Premier Literary Award; and great ratings from the offset. It could only be a winner!

The book opens with an introduction to the main protagonist Kimberly (Kim) Leamy who is a photography teacher in Melbourne, Australia. Twenty-six years earlier, Sammy Went, a two-year-old girl vanished from her home in Manson, Kentucky. James Finn, an American accountant who contacts Kim is convinced she was that child, kidnapped just after her birthday. She cannot believe the woman who raised her crossed international lines to steal a toddler.

Jack and Molly Went’s daughter Sammy disappeared from their Kentucky home in 1990. Already estranged, the couple drifted further apart as time passed. Jack did his best to raise and protect his other daughter and son while Molly found solace in her faith. The Church of the Light Within, a Pentecostal fundamentalist group who handle poisonous snakes as part of their worship, provided that faith.

Now, with proof that she and Sammy are in fact the same person, Kim travels to America to reunite with a family she never knew she had and to solve the mystery of her abduction that will take her deep into the dark heart of religious fanaticism.

For me, Christian White’s writing is captivating and extremely well structured. Although the theme of a child being stolen is not particularly original, the clever telling of this story made it a joy to read. The chapters alternate between the past and the present, maintaining the reader’s attention. The chapters narrated in the past explore the impact of Sammy’s disappearance on her family and the community in which they live. The other chapters follow Kim’s pathway of discovery to the truth about her past.

The most gripping parts of “The Nowhere Child” were the chapters about the past, as the author unearthed long-buried secrets of Kim’s grieving family. It seemed that nearly every character from her past had something they wanted to be kept hidden. Revelations were made that included identity, betrayal, secrets, loss and a sinister cult. A tense story of menace and suspense, the story held my interest from start to finish and the way in which Christian White brought everything to a conclusion was just fabulous.

I loved “The Nowhere Child” and I would recommend it to anyone who likes this genre. It has left me eager to read more from this author in the future.

Thank you to #NetGalley, and HarperCollins UK for a free ARC of #NowhereChild in exchange for a voluntary, honest review.
  
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Ian Anderson recommended Head Games by Foreigner in Music (curated)

 
Head Games by Foreigner
Head Games by Foreigner
(0 Ratings)
Album Favorite

"Foreigner was a band that had an anthemic sophistication about their musical approach. It was educated, well-formed, well turned-out British-American music. The primary songwriter and leader of the band [Mick Jones] was a Brit, and the vocal talents of probably rock’s finest ever tenor, Lou Gramm, fitted perfectly with their sound. I got to know Lou many years later after his horrendous illness. When he was making his comeback to singing after brain surgery, me and some other guys played with him on a big German TV show, and we had to change the key of the song we were doing. We dropped it before he came over to Germany and then when he got there we dropped it another couple of steps. I said to him that the Lou Gramm of 20 or 30 years prior, when he was singing at the top of his range, was a pretty hard act to follow. He said that he didn’t write the songs, and just had to sing what was written, and that he could do that in the studio but it was very tough to do night after night on stage. In a sense I have been there myself. I made records in 1982 [The Broadsword And The Beast] and 1984 [Under Wraps] where I sang really well on record, absolutely at the top of my range. I’m a baritone, and my range is usually up to an E or an occasional hasty F, and then I was singing F# and G. I was singing at the top of my range and singing consistently up there, not just the occasional high note. It was something I couldn’t keep up night after night and I lost my voice in 1984 and had to pretty much take a year off to recover. I cancelled three shows in Australia and two shows in the USA. Over the period of a month I cancelled more than 50 per cent of all the shows that I’ve cancelled in my entire 44 years in music. I still have a soft spot for Lou because of his incredible vocal ability and the wonderful controlled quality of his voice. I do believe he is rock’s finest tenor. His diction was good, his articulation and rhythm was great, he was a truly great singer. It doesn’t mean he’s rock’s best singer or best-known singer, because the usually out of tune Rod Stewart and gymnastic Robert Plant were probably more charismatic. Lou was more mainstream, but it was nevertheless a joy to listen to someone, rather like Alfie Boe, who is in complete control of their vocal ability as the result of hard work and a huge amount of natural talent. He may not be the most exciting pop singer, but for me he is the best."

Source
  
VOLUME 1 by Tash
VOLUME 1 by Tash
2019 | Soul
8
8.0 (1 Ratings)
Album Rating
Tash is a talented singer-songwriter and gifted musician from Australia. Not too long ago, she released a music video for her lovely single, entitled, “The Signs”.

“I wrote ‘The Signs’ in a similar headspace to the way I wrote ‘DREAMING’. It’s about feeling suspicious that omens exist and that maybe I’d done something to deserve my own misfortune. I don’t actually believe in any of that stuff, but at the time I’d probably had a weird week and started wondering if opening umbrellas indoors is the cause of it.” – Tash

The audiovisual, equipped with a classic ‘80s flare, opt for sprinkles of VHS frames and subtle animation.

Also, the music video follows a relaxed Tash as she travels sonically through the bustling city at nighttime.

‘The Signs’ is featured on Tash’s latest EP, entitled, “VOLUME 1”. The likable 5-track project contains her previously released tune, entitled, “What a Lovely Mess”.

“Tash is such a prolific songwriter and we feel that anyone who listens to the EP is going to have a very special listening experience” – producer of the EP, Mark J Feist (Beyoncé, Mary J. Blige, John Legend, Little Mix)

Tash was discovered by multi-platinum record producer and songwriter Mark J. Feist on Instagram.
She started by posting acoustic covers of popular songs and has since reached over 800K impressions a week.

Tash has quickly established herself as one of this year’s most exciting artists to watch.

She was born into a musical family to a guitar-teaching mother and bass-playing father.

At such a young age, she has sold out numerous shows including performances at Soho House NYC, Sayers Club Los Angeles, Peppermint Club, and Hotel Cafe.

So far, her music has amassed over 80M streams and garnered over 12M views online across various social media platforms.

“I’m questioning the way it works what did I do to deserve this change of rhythm so bitter, I’m getting butthurt about almost everything, it’s unsettling. Focus on better things. Stop, stop hiding in your euphemisms, believing your superstition, following your intuition ain’t always so good for you. I know if you bring bad, the bad will come to you. That doesn’t mean that all the black cat bullsh*t is actually true, nah. Don’t need my fortune told to tell me I’ve got unrequited love. I’ve got issues with my trust. I’ve got a conscience. That’s enough for me to think that’s enough for me.” – lyrics, “The Signs”

Tash is the first artist to ever perform on the roof at the Facebook Campus.

Her songs have been added to over 20+ Spotify, Amazon, and Apple playlists.

Also, she was placed on the Apple Music homepage in the USA as well as featured in their Swipe Up viral campaign.
  
13 Dolls In Darkness (2017)
13 Dolls In Darkness (2017)
2017 | Horror
10
10.0 (1 Ratings)
Movie Rating
I have been an obsessive fan of horror films since I was a kid in the 70's. Brought up on Hammer and Universal monster films it wasn't long before I delved into pre-cert exploitation films and that is where my preference has been ever since.
Over the last 20 years I have felt that the horror genre hasn't really offered it's fans anything new (bar a few exceptions). Having been left despondent, disappointed and bored senseless by the over-saturation of remakes, reboots and just plain dull horror fare, it comes with great surprise that a black and white silent film from Australia would be the breath of fresh air that the horror genre desperately needs.
The plot of 13 Dolls is pretty straightforward. Marjorie receives a letter from her ailing mother to return home after a 13 year absence. On her return home Marjorie realises that things are not what they seem...
Written and directed by the talented Zeda Müller, this is a film that demands your attention from the start. With its eerie score and moody camerawork it sets a very atmospheric and claustrophobic feel to proceedings. It's a great take on the 'old dark house' horrors of a bygone era, Robert Wiene and Tod Brownings early work springs to mind... yet draws on influences from the likes of Dario Argento, Mario Bava's gothic horrors, giallo and slasher films (there are some nicely placed references for the sharp-eyed viewer). The fact that this is a silent film (I'll get to the score in a bit) actually works in its favour. Gone are the usual mundane dialogue pieces that fill out most horror films these days and the viewer is reintroduced to dialogue cards when required to move the story along. This also means that the actors are given room to act through expression and emotion and they all do a sterling job.
The masterstroke of 13 Dolls though is the excellent use of camerawork and soundtrack. The soundtrack is interspliced with sound effects (church bells, howling wind, dripping taps etc) and moody piano/tension building synths, all used to full sensory effect. The footage and score intertwine brilliantly together and I found some scenes genuinely eerie and creepy (a rare feeling for me whilst watching a new film these days).
Overall 13 Dolls is a mesmerising experience, interspersed with some cleverly executed gore scenes, and at a scant 75 minutes long, it motors along at a cracking pace.
So, you have probably guessed that I liked this film a lot. I highly recommend checking it out, especially if you are looking for something different. It's a great film and I for one am looking forward to Zeda Müller & Co's next venture...!
  
The Things We Cannot Say
The Things We Cannot Say
8
8.0 (1 Ratings)
Book Rating
The Things We Cannot Say by Kelly Rimmer delves into how loved ones are never forgotten within the backdrop of WWII. At the drop of a hat someone’s life can change all of sudden, which is what happened to a family after the Nazis occupied Poland.

 

Based on her own family, Rimmer tells how “my grandparents were Polish Catholic. They never spoke a lot about what happened to them before they immigrated to Australia. We did not know about how they lived. They would not talk about the war and seemed to put it behind them. I saw this picture of my grandparents in the sunshine and so relaxed. This got me thinking about their story, how they had hope and despair. I decided to travel to the village where they lived in Poland with my aunt and sister. I was able to capture what life was like including Auschwitz and Birkenau, which was such a shocking experience. It is impossible to get my head around the violence of that era, the utter brutality and cruelty.”

 

The story alternates between war-torn Poland in the 1930s and 1940s and modern-day Florida. The main characters are Alina, having to endure the horrific Nazi occupation; Alice, and her grandmother Hanna, who has made a dying wish, find Tomasz, her soul mate in Poland.

 

Alice is living in Florida, juggling between being the mother of a six-year-old boy, Eddie, who has autism and her ten-year-old daughter, Callie, who is extremely gifted. Hanna, her grandmother, at the age ninety-five, has suffered a debilitating stroke where she can no longer speak. These present-day characters are somehow related to the past through Alina.

 

Enduring the Nazis, Alina is struggling to survive and find hope that she and Tomasz can marry at the war’s conclusion. But as their situation gets worse hope begins to dwindle and they wonder, after being separated, will they ever see each other again. This story does not spare the reader all the horrors of the Nazis where they killed in cold blood and used the tools of starvation, rape, and disease.

 

What makes this story stand out are the relationships. It is heartwarming to read how Eddie has connected with his grandmother and the love between them. Alice and Hanna also have a special relationship since she was the one who gave her granddaughter unconditional love and support, while Alice’s mother became a career mom. Alina and Tomasz also had a special love that was deep and touching.

 

“I wanted to write about autism and how Eddie is a real person who had the people around him benefit from his life. He and Hanna understood and accepted each other. I also wanted to show how technology helped both he and Hanna communicate through an App. I had some experience with not being able to communicate. Just before I left for Poland I collapsed from a seizure of temporal lobe epilepsy, and was not able to speak for half an hour. I realized how frustrating it is and how scary.”

 

This emotional historical novel brings together the present and the past. It encompasses loyalty, love, and devotion.
  
True History of the Kelly Gang (2019)
True History of the Kelly Gang (2019)
2019 | Biography, Crime, Drama, History
One of the main things that divides opinion on Ned Kelly is was he on the side of good or bad? Some see him as a kind of freedom fighter, standing up to the British, who at the time that looked to suppress and demean the Australian people. Some see him as a criminal, who murdered innocent people for reasons known only to him. Both of these opinions may be true, neither of them might be, but it's one hell of a gamble to base a film on someone that divides opinion that much.

It's a gamble that doesn't pay off, the team behind the film try to sell it as a punk-esque, spit in the face of authority tale of a guy standing up against the establishment. The soundtrack is on-point, but that's about it. George Mackay (as Ned Kelly) does his best to sell it, but the film-makers never truly drive home the idea that this was a man of the people, someone speaking up for the downtrodden, instead Ned spends most of the films run-time with his family in their home, seemingly away from civilisation entirely, taking away from the Robin Hood-like mythology of the man. Without any other characters, Robin Hood is just a man who steals from people. A story about a thief, who becomes a murderer, who becomes a gang leader who incites others to kill, doesn't exactly evoke much sympathy, especially as these are based on real life events. Even if the film denies this by stating “Nothing you are about to see is true” at the start, despite “True History” being in the title of the film.

Some of the cast do their best to with what they are given, but some fall short, and some are just wilfully underused, Thomasin McKenzie, who has been great in recent films such as JoJo Rabbit and Leave No Trace is barely given anything to do other than play “The Woman” despite many important events revolving around her, opposite to this is Charlie Hunnam, who is given ample things to do, but seems to still be playing the same character from his recent The Gentleman performance. George Mackay is a force to be reckoned with, but its a performance that would be better placed in a sex pistols biopic than in 1800's Australia. The shining performance in this is Nicolas Hoult, shaking off his nice guy image to play the corrupt Constable Fitzpatrick, who seems to delight in the power he has and when events stop going Fitzpatrick's way, Hoult commits to playing a man on the edge of completely losing control with surprising conviction and menace, his interrogation scenes being and uncomfortable highlight in an otherwise unconvincing film.

With no mention of the two years Kelly spent on the run, being hidden from the police by a network of sympathisers, and by showing his plight as a very personal experience instead of showing it as an example of the culture at the time, the film misses an opportunity to make a legend of the man, and instead falls short of greatness.
  
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Kristy H (1252 KP) rated The Dark Lake in Books

Dec 24, 2017 (Updated Dec 24, 2017)  
The Dark Lake
The Dark Lake
Sarah Bailey | 2017 | Mystery, Thriller
9
7.3 (4 Ratings)
Book Rating
intriguing (2 more)
compelling
surprising
Rosalind Ryan, a popular yet mysterious teacher, is found dead by the local lake. She's been murdered, her body left floating with red roses surrounding her. Detective Sergeant Gemma Woodstock and her partner, Felix, are called in to investigate Rosalind's case. Nothing about Rosalind adds up--everyone seemed to like her, but no one really knew her. She lived in a cheap apartment, but clearly had expensive taste in wine and makeup. She was the youngest of four, with three brothers, one of with whom she'd quarreled recently. Her father, George, is ill and runs a large business conglomerate in Australia, yet seemed to adore his inscrutable daughter. As for Gemma, she has memories of Rosalind from their time together in high school, when the beautiful Rose seemed enigmatic even then. Gemma and Felix have their hands full, focusing on Rosalind's co-workers, students, family, and more. Who is responsible for the death of this lovely teacher?

This is an intriguing and compelling two part mystery, with the present-day case focusing on Rosalind, combined with flashes to Gemma's past, focusing on her history with her former boyfriend Jacob, who died as a teen. The majority of our story is told from Gemma's present-day point of view, but we get a few key snippets from the townspeople and occasionally Gemma's point of view flashes to the past.

I really liked Gemma as a narrator. The intersection of the case with her past was extremely well-done. I read some reviews where the readers didn't care for Gemma, but that wasn't the case for me, though I could understand, as the story wore on, how they came to that point of view. She doesn't always make the right decisions, and I'm intrigued to see what she'll be like in the next novel (Goodreads tell me this is the first book in the series). But for me, I identified with her in many ways and, because she was so well-written, really enjoyed the story from her point of view, even if I didn't always agree with her actions. It was also great to get to see a character dealing with the challenges of being female and a mother in a small police force--in a small town no less--in what seemed to be, overall, a fairly realistic fashion.

The story itself is great. There are several twists that really got me, so major kudos to Bailey. I read a lot of thrillers, and it's not always easy to surprise me! For a huge portion of this book, I had *no idea* where this was going to go, or who killed Rosalind. Several times I found myself genuinely shocked by the happenings and was completely enthralled by the story and Bailey's characters. (I also can't believe this is a debut novel - wow.) She does an excellent job at creating tension in the story and the characters, slowing unfurling plot points and details as we go along. This novel is truly a puzzle, the pieces fitting into place as we go along, and putting them together is a joy. It is so well-done and Bailey's weaving together the past and the present is excellent. I wound up really liking Gemma, and her boss Jonesy, and I'm quite excited this is a series. I can't wait to see where Bailey takes us (and Gemma) next. 4.5 stars.
  
Nine Perfect Strangers
Nine Perfect Strangers
Liane Moriarty | 2018 | Contemporary, Fiction & Poetry
9
6.9 (10 Ratings)
Book Rating
Laugh-out-loud funny (2 more)
Engaging characters
Great plot
Pacing a little slow (0 more)
My Rating is 9/10! ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
I love this book. It's a funny, entertaining, and imaginative book about the issues that affect many people from all walks of life. It's also a definite must-read for all Liane Moriarty fans out there.

Nine people, of all ages, have booked into a health resort called Tranquillum House for a break. They are all going there for their own reasons. Located in Australia, Tranquillum House is a "boutique health and wellness resort" where a new you awaits. The resort is owned and run by Masha, a ruthlessly ambitious Russian. She is a former company executive who, ten years prior, experienced a near-death experience leading to her to choose a different life direction. However, Masha, assisted by her loyal staff members, Yao and Delilah, has a dark and sinister agenda for her nine new customers, although she is driven by good intentions.

The guests get a lot more than they bargained for with their ten-day cleansing programme of diet, light exercise, therapy and spa treatments. First, we are introduced to Frances, a romance novel writer whose career has taken a nosedive. Then Tony, who is divorced and has recently lost his much-loved dog has booked into Tranquillum House for weight loss. Lars, a divorce lawyer, is a regular guest of health resorts. Ben and his wife Jessica have won millions on the lottery, but their marriage is in jeopardy. The Marconi family, Napoleon, a teacher, his wife, Heather and their daughter Zoe have booked in for stress relief and appear to be weighed down by grief and guilt. Carmel, a divorced mum of four girls, has lost her husband to a younger woman and is troubled by her very low self-esteem.

All of the characters are wonderfully developed and are all so hopeful for their stay at the health resort. Their interactions with each other are fabulously entertaining, particularly those including my two favourites, Frances and Yao. Frances, for me, was hilarious and I loved the portrayal of the obsessive and infatuated Yao. Masha, exotic, charismatic and narcissistic, has plans for all of the guests that she truly believes will transform their lives and will reward her a glorious and promising future.

Humour and wit in are both in abundance in this novel where people with little in common with each other come together in circumstances where they form unexpected bonds with one another. There are, however, some terribly sad experiences for some of them, including Masha, that eventually became apparent by the end. I did find the pacing a little slow at times but it picked up during a very suspenseful second half of the novel. I couldn't really guess how this book would end but I absolutely loved the way the story was concluded.

Whilst "Nine Perfect Strangers" might not be everyone's favourite novel by Liane Moriarty, including mine, (I think "Big Little Lies" is a better book), it was still a hugely enjoyable read. Overall, I would say that Liane Moriarty has created a book with engaging characters, a surprising plot and some very insightful writing, which I am extremely pleased I have read!
  
HI
Hello, I Love You
4
6.0 (2 Ratings)
Book Rating
<b>I listen to far too much kpop songs for my own good.</b> When I heard that <i>Hello, I Love You</i> is a book about kpop, I just <i>had</i> to read the book.

<b>I despise this. Katie Stout's debut novel isn't about kpop</b> – that's just a small element. It's just about <b>an American girl trying to run away from her past and ends up falling in love with a Korean superstar</b>. Oh, and <b>that Korean superstar is also running away from HIS past,</b> so hooray! Past runners colliding.
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/--1WHSx-iaa4/Vcu_9iIqSpI/AAAAAAAAE5w/ZOJm3UkK-e8/s1600/sigh.gif"><img src="http://bookwyrmingthoughts.bookblog.io/wp-content/uploads/sites/317/2015/08/sigh.gif"; width="188" height="200" border="0" /></a></div>
It's obvious <b>Grace didn't do much "research." She's tired of eating rice every day, and she wrinkles her nose in disgust at fish</b> – does she realize that <b>rice and seafood is quite <i>literally</i> associated with every part of Asian culture</b> or what? How else do Koreans or Japanese survive when they're surrounded by ocean all around (the seafood part)?

Grace's <b>research basically consisted of typing in "international boarding schools," clicking on the first result that seemed interesting and decided, "Why not? It's the way out."</b> She doesn't even know <i>why</i> she chose Korea. It's <b>all about running away from the past,</b> and that was probably repeated multiple times in the book. <b>I just want to throw a book at Grace and say, "Suck it up, buttercup."</b>
<blockquote>I've kept a big distance from it because it reminds me too much of my past, too much of what I left behind.</blockquote>
Methinks the lady doth protest too much.
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-FXuDDyyknZc/Vcu_2-_rRRI/AAAAAAAAE5o/8E4pJbSzM1Q/s1600/angry-gif-o.gif"><img src="http://bookwyrmingthoughts.bookblog.io/wp-content/uploads/sites/317/2015/08/angry-gif-o.gif"; border="0" /></a></div>
I suppose I can't blame her because <b>the mom's worse – she's all, "Hi, Korea. I'm FARRR more superior than you."</b> *sticks nose up and saunters away in ten-inch heels* <b>If Grace is so "language impaired," she could have considered England, Canada, Australia or New Zealand where English is the primary language, thank you very much. -_-</b>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><b><a style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-D4yvObK8a5g/VcvAC60UhSI/AAAAAAAAE58/wJW7gAeQ96c/s1600/you%2Bgot%2Bproblems.gif"><img src="http://bookwyrmingthoughts.bookblog.io/wp-content/uploads/sites/317/2015/08/yougotproblems.gif"; width="320" height="180" border="0" /></a></b></div>
<b>
I'm not happy at all. I'm not even Korean. I'm Chinese and Vietnamese. I don't know if my Asian meter has been insulted or not.</b> I suppose I'll applaud Stout for trying to write a book about kpop, but that's about as far as I'll go for <i>Hello, I Love You</i>.

<a href="https://bookwyrmingthoughts.com/review-hello-i-love-you-by-katie-m-stout/"; target="_blank">This review was originally posted on Bookwyrming Thoughts</a>
  
Johnny English Strikes Again (2018)
Johnny English Strikes Again (2018)
2018 | Action, Adventure, Comedy
Spy spoof caper that’s only passably amusing.
It’s a HILARIOUS concept. It’s Bond but not as we know it: a suave, sophisticated, well-dressed hero but someone who’s a complete klutz when it comes to the spy business. Rowan Atkinson is perfect in the role: because when he plays his face ”straight” he IS strangely good-looking and certainly pulls off the air of confidence, intelligence and sophistication well.

So it was that 2003’s Johnny English was a refreshing novelty. Roll forwards 15 years (via 2011’s “Johnny English Reborn”) and the concoction needs… you know… actual JOKES.

For “Johnny English Strikes Again” is unfortunately a pretty lame affair.

The Plot
Johnny English (Atkinson) is retired from MI7 and living life as a Geography teacher at a public school. Aside from teaching them about sheep farming in Australia and magma, English delights in teaching his young pupils the tricks of the spy trade: “You’re looking particularly beautiful tonight”, with a twinkle and a vodka martini in hand. “You’re looking particularly beautiful tonight” repeats the class.

But the quiet life of English is about to end, since a cyber-attack has exposed all of MI7’s current agents and the Prime Minister (Emma Thompson) needs to re-hire a retired agent who is currently ‘off the grid’. But noone – friend or foe – is safe when the bumbling English and his faithful helper Bough (Ben Miller) go back into the field.

The Turns
As UK comedy professionals, Atkinson and Miller deliver their English/Bough schtick serviceably enough. The brilliant Emma Thompson though is woefully underused as a straight-woman, being asked to do little more than an exasperated Theresa May impersonation.

If you need a sexy and sophisticated femme fatale for a Bond spoof, what better than a real ex-Bond girl? So the extremely sexy and sophisticated Olga Kurylenko (Camille from “Quantum of Solace”) plays Ophelia Bhuletova, which sounds much funnier when pronounced by Atkinson. And a very good job she does too.

The Review
To emphasise the positive for a moment, the film is suitably glossy, which are table stakes for a spy caper like this or Austin Powers.

But the script by William Davies (who did the previous Johnny Englishes, but nothing much since “Reborn”) doesn’t deliver any real laugh-out-loud moments. My hopes were raised when the “pensioner interviews” happened and Charles Dance, Edward Fox and Michael Gambon turned up. Great, I thought… having the old timers play off Atkinson will be fun. But unfortunately they were nothing but cameos and (although one of the film’s comedy highlights) they came and went in the blink of an eye.

Elsewhere the film relied too much on a few running jokes: ostensibly the need for health and safety in MI7, where guns are rather frowned upon, given their potential to caused injury or worse. A ‘virtual reality’ training mission also delivers smiles but outstays its welcome.

The film is a first-time feature for TV-comedy director David Kerr.

Final thoughts
There are films which are wildly offensive. There are films that are just plain bad. This is neither: it is as Douglas Adams might have described it as “Mostly Harmless”. But to get any more than the rating I have given it, a comedy film has to make me laugh and this one failed miserably. It’s a watchable TV film for a rainy afternoon, but not worth heading out to the cinema to watch.