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Black Adam (2022)
Black Adam (2022)
2022 | Action, Adventure
Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson did a lot of cheerleading for this movie.

Like, a lot.

I was still completely unaware, however, that it would include Pierce Brosnan's Dr Fate nor Hawkman not Atom Smasher nor Cyclone (all of which, for me, were the first time I had seen any of them on the big screen).

It also fits into the - current - DCEU - with Black Adam getting his powers from the same council of Wizards as Shazam (and using the same word), alongside cameos by Viola Davis' version of Amanda Waller and - in possibly the worst kept secret - a certain superhero during the end credits (the actor for who was told he would be returning to that role, then told not).

Anyway, this sees The Rock's Black Adam released from his tomb 5 centuries after being imprisoned within it, to modern-day Kahndaq which is now occupied by foreign invaders with some very advanced weaponry. The plot is then your usual run-of-the-mill softening of Adam's hard edges, teaming up with his supposed enemies to fight his real enemies, lots of destruction and a few general quips thrown in ...

The result? Somewhat messy; not as good (or surreal) as, say, Aquaman or Wonder Woman. Maybe a B+.
  
Ninja Assassin (2009)
Ninja Assassin (2009)
2009 | Action, Drama
Bland Characters Equals Meh Movie
A former member of a sect of secret ninjas escapes the clan, but has to fight for his life when the past catches up to him.

Acting: 4
I have seen paper bags act better than Rain the actor who plays main character Raizo. I think the screenwriters knew this and tried to mask his lack of chops with less lines, but it definitely didn’t work. He is as bland as the chicken I feed my dog when he has diarrhea. The rest of the crew isn’t terribly better and aren’t worth much of a mention.

Beginning: 10
The movie actually gets off to a great start. It starts off in a gangster hideout and an old man is giving one of the gangsters a tattoo. A letter shows up with black sand in it. Black sand is basically the kiss of death for these ninjas so it’s not too long after that bedlam ensues. Dope scene, got me excited to watch more.

Characters: 2

Cinematography/Visuals: 8

Conflict: 10
The action was also a plus. The beginning is definitely an indicator of things to come. You want crazy martial fighting? Check. Blood and gore? Blamo! Insane slowmo sequences? Coming right up. This is basically an action junkie’s wet dream. Actually, I think I’m giving it too much credit…

Entertainment Value: 7

Memorability: 7

Pace: 7
While I appreciate certain things like at least making an attempt at a backstory, there were other portions that slowed the movie down in a couple of spots. Like seriously, how much training do we need to see this dude do? A few rounds on the good ole speed bag will suffice for me, thanks. Nope, this dude is doing splits, using ninja swords, fighting air. I also thought they spent a bit too much time on the main detective Mika (Naomie Harris) researching the ninjas. Pretty painful, but mostly fine.

Plot: 8
I didn’t hate the story. As I mentioned above, it was cool that you got a look into Raizo’s earlier life in the ninja clan and what got him to where he was. Crappy character, but I appreciated the effort to develop him. While the story got sidetracked here and there, it got you from Point A to Point B fairly smoothly.

Resolution: 6

Overall: 69
What disappoints me most about Ninja Assassin is the sheer amount of potential it had. Because it didn’t invest in quality actors or working in characters we care about, there is little margin for error in the rest of the movie. It wants to be likable, yet it didn’t put in the work to earn your friendship. I do not recommend.
  
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Dean (6926 KP) Dec 2, 2019

Bit surprised you give a 7 to a film you don't recommend? Could understand if it was a 5. A 7 is a good rating.

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Phillip McSween (751 KP) Dec 3, 2019 (Updated Dec 3, 2019)

Ninja Assassin falls in that weird "in-between" world for me. It's not a great movie...yet it has flashes of goodness. I even mention its "potential" in my closing. Typically I round up when I score something in the 65-69 range since there are no decimal offerings on Smashbomb.

Rampage (2018)
Rampage (2018)
2018 | Action, Adventure, Sci-Fi
Action, CGI, THE ROCK (0 more)
Very thing plot. Malin Ackerman is not very good as the villain (0 more)
Pretty much what you'd expect - and it's fun
There are times when you go to a movie, you are going there to immerse yourself in a world that draws out strong emotions with stellar acting, writing and directing and Cinematography that takes your breath away.

And there are other times where all you want is to watch Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson and a giant Gorilla fight a giant Wolf and a giant Alligator in downtown Chicago.

Guess which one RAMPAGE is?

Based on a video-game of the same name, RAMPAGE tells the tale of a primatologist who's "friend" (a gorilla) is infected with an experimental - and illegal - pathogen that turns him (and 2 other animals) into giant killing machines. It will take all the skills of this primatologist (did I mention that he is a former Navy Seal) to withstand the onslaught and find an antidote.

But, of course, with these kinds of films, the plot really doesn't matter. All that matters is that The Rock is playing the Pathologist and Naomi Harris plays a discredited genetic engineer. The two of them teams up with a mystery "agent" (played by Jeffrey Dean Morgan) to battle the bad guys - and the monsters.

But, of course, in these kinds of films, the characters don't really matter either. What REALLY matters in these kinds of films is the action and the CGI that is used to create these actions - and both of them are pretty good - at least, good enough.

Director Brad Peyton teams up again with The Rock (they were together for SAN ANDREAS and JOURNEY 2), so he knows not to linger too long on anything. He moves the plot (what there is of it) along smartly and focuses most of our attention on the action and only really stops for a joke or two - and they (for the most part) land just fine.

The Rock is, of course, THE ROCK in this film. He does "his thing" and he does it well. Jeffrey Dean Morgan basically plays the same character he plays on THE WALKING DEAD (but...he is a GOOD GUY here). Naomi Harris (still smelling fresh from her Oscar nominated turn in MOONLIGHT) clearly needs to pay for a house in Malibu by "slumming" it in this movie - I can see her conversation now...

"How much is that house in Malibu...?" (calls her Agent) "Hey...how much are they willing to pay me for the Giant Ape movie...?"

Malin Ackerman - never my favorite performer - is pretty one note as the main villain in the piece. She plays a Corporate Exec who wants to...wait for it...MONETIZE the giant animals!

But again, we are here to see The Rock and the giant Gorilla fighting the giant Wolf and Alligator - all the while destroying indentifiable landmarks in downtown Chicago.

And in that...this film succeeded...well enough.

Letter Grade B (it's probably a B- or C+, but I'm a sucker for these types of films).

7 (out of 10) stars and you and you can take that to the Bank(ofMarquis)
  
The Hurricane Heist (2018)
The Hurricane Heist (2018)
2018 | Action, Thriller
Doesn't Go Far Enough
There are times when all I want to do is to sit in a darkened movie theater, turn off my brain, and let a movie with a silly, over-the-top premise wash all over me. THE FAST AND THE FURIOUS films are an example of an "A" in this category. Last year's GEOSTORM was a "B" (it was so over-the-top that it was fun, especially when the meteorologist declared - as if he was reciting Shakespeare - "Oh my God, it's a GEOSTORM!"). Unfortunately, a "C" example of this is THE HURRICANE HEIST.

Directed by Rob Cohen - who brought us the original FAST AND FURIOUS film lo' those many years ago - THE HURRICANE HEIST tells the tale of a HEIST set during a...anyone?...HURRICANE. That's pretty much all you need to know of the plot. The rest is action, escapes, weather gone bad, bad guys being bad guys and good guys being good guys.

The good guys are Toby Kebbel (so good as the motion capture bad-guy ape in DAWN OF THE PLANET OF THE APES), perennial "B"-movie actress Maggie Grace (TAKEN, LOST and the immortal HOT GIRL, FAST CAR, EATING A BANANA) and Ryan Kwanten (I guess he was in TRUE BLOOD). What do these good guys have in common? They are not hard to look at on the screen. The two men also have really bad Southern accents.

The bad guys are led by Ralph Ineson ( a perennial "that guy" in such films as STAR WARS: THE LAST JEDI, GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY and KINGSMAN: THE SECRET SERVICE) and a host of "red shirts". The problem is that Ineson plays his bad guy role as a "that guy" and the "red shirts" have no personality at all. One guy tries to be the "loose cannon" but he doesn't go far enough, nor does Ineson or ANY of the bad guys.

Oh...did I mention Ben Cross (Sarek in the new STAR TREK films)? Cross leaped off the screen in the Oscar winning film CHARIOTS OF FIRE way back in 1981 and was going to be "the next big thing". How has that worked out for him? I'm sure he's making a nice living, but...

But...you don't come to this kind of films for the acting. You come to it for the insane premise, the over-the-top acting, the out-of-this-world stunts and special effects. Unfortunately, THE HURRICANE HEIST plays each one of these "safely". The premise is insane, just not insane enough. The acting is melodramatic - just not over-the-top. The script doesn't really have any "oh-my-gosh, did he just say that" lines and the action, stunts and special effects are pretty good, (maybe even good), but not great.

A pretty mediocre time at the movies. It did serve it's purpose, I turned my brain off for two hours. I just wish it didn't power down as well.

Letter Grade: C (thanks for trying)

5 (out of 10) stars and you can take that to the Bank(ofMarquis)
  
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Andy K (10821 KP) Mar 10, 2018

Great review. Almost makes me want to watch it!

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BankofMarquis (1832 KP) Mar 11, 2018

Save your time - rent GEOSTORM instead

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