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Tim McGuire (301 KP) rated Gretel & Hansel (2020) in Movies
Mar 3, 2020
Grim not Grimm
396. Gretel & Hansel. Do you remember the tale of Hansel and Gretel by the the Grimm Brothers? Well throw it away, because it's 2020 and Girls Rule so Gretel's name is first! Hell, Hansel didn't even make the movie poster! And maybe because its her fault for getting kicked out of their mother's house for not getting a damn job cause times are tough, so get out, and take your brother with you. Thanks mom! At this point, it seems instead of going towards civilization they go further into the woods, tripping on shrooms at one point. After walking for a bit, hunger kicks in, so they break into a house, nice, cause there's a table with a bunch of food to be seen. They get busted of course by the owner, Holda, who takes pity on them and invites them in and feeds em. Too fatten em up to eat them right? Like I said this is 2020, not 1812!! This time Gretel learns the ways of the witch, there's creepy figures in black roaming the woods at night Hansel learns to chop down trees, he's in a trance, whats going on?? In the end, I think it's an arthouse movie about a young girl coming of age, equipped with first period and all, shot like those old Christopher Lee horror movies of the 70's. Also suffers from the Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves curse, everyone has the same accent, except the freaking star of the movie Gretel! HaHa! Filmbufftim on FB
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