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No Shame (No Shame #4)
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(This is NOT a stand alone novel. See end of this description for details) Brad feels nothing but...
M_M Contemporary Romance
The Exercise Of Vital Powers (Legends of the Order #1)
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Some Lessons Must Be Learned The Hard Way. Since its inception, The Order has been dedicated to...
Adult Fantasy
Childhood Adversity and Developmental Effects: International and Cross-Disciplinary Perspectives
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Child trauma and violence is not an issue that is constrained to one nationality or one ethnicity. A...
The Refuge: My Journey to the Safe House for Battered Women
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Until 1971, female victims of domestic violence were expected to 'kiss and make up' with their...
ClareR (5726 KP) rated Nasty Little Cuts in Books
Feb 24, 2022
I learnt a new phrase today: Domestic Noir. My ignorance is probably down to the fact that I would never normally read a book in this category. I’d avoid it. I’m glad that I didn’t let it put me off this time though, and after reading Tina’s previous book ‘Call Me Mummy’, I knew that I was going to be in for one hell of a good read.
This book is phenomenal. It’s read-it-thorough-your-fingers-with-your-eyes-shut kind of phenomenal.
Reading it on The Pigeonhole, one stave a day for 10 days was a feat of endurance - the wait between staves was tortuous. This is NOT an easy read, and should probably come with some sort of trigger warning. It’s dark, emotional, visceral. It’s violent and frankly traumatic.
Debs and Marc should probably have never got together, never mind got married and had children. They’re both emotionally scarred from terrible childhoods and have never confronted, or been treated for, these psychological and physical injuries. And now they just seem to vent their feelings on one another with physical violence.
There’s loads of backstory that explains why they are in their current predicament, and honestly, I did feel some sympathy for them. But then, and Tina Baker does this so well, she gives with one hand, and snatches away with the other. Every past revelation of abuse or trauma, is bookended by domestic violence.
Honestly, it sounds horrendous, doesn’t it? But I couldn’t stop reading. As I said on The Pigeonhole: What a reading experience this has been. I’ll leave a review, but what can I say that will do this book justice?
Well, I can say this: Read It.
This book is phenomenal. It’s read-it-thorough-your-fingers-with-your-eyes-shut kind of phenomenal.
Reading it on The Pigeonhole, one stave a day for 10 days was a feat of endurance - the wait between staves was tortuous. This is NOT an easy read, and should probably come with some sort of trigger warning. It’s dark, emotional, visceral. It’s violent and frankly traumatic.
Debs and Marc should probably have never got together, never mind got married and had children. They’re both emotionally scarred from terrible childhoods and have never confronted, or been treated for, these psychological and physical injuries. And now they just seem to vent their feelings on one another with physical violence.
There’s loads of backstory that explains why they are in their current predicament, and honestly, I did feel some sympathy for them. But then, and Tina Baker does this so well, she gives with one hand, and snatches away with the other. Every past revelation of abuse or trauma, is bookended by domestic violence.
Honestly, it sounds horrendous, doesn’t it? But I couldn’t stop reading. As I said on The Pigeonhole: What a reading experience this has been. I’ll leave a review, but what can I say that will do this book justice?
Well, I can say this: Read It.
Briannabrown1019 (799 KP) rated Love Letters to the Dead in Books
Nov 9, 2020
Great for fans of Perks of Being a Wallflower!
Contains spoilers, click to show
Trigger warning. This book deals with some deep stuff.
This was a super interesting idea. The story was deep, and it was the first book I've ever come across that told its story through letters to dead celebrities. So bonus points there for sure!
The overall story reminded me a lot of Perks of Being a Wallflower, which is one of my all time favorites.
I did not LOVE the POV/writing of the book but that wasn't because the author didn't do well. In fact I'd say that means she did amazing given the book is told from the POV of a teenage girl. She's young, and the writing reflects that. So while it wasn't my personal cup of tea, it made sense for the book. Bear that in mind when going into this one.
We follow Laurel venting to dead celebrities about her life and the loss of her sister. How did she die? Why does Laurel feel guilty? Why isn't her mom around anymore? Through letters to her idols she reminisces and vents, and we get to see her navigate life and relationships without her big sister.
*Potential trigger warnings for domestic abuse, rape, molestation, drug/alcohol use, and suicide.
This was a super interesting idea. The story was deep, and it was the first book I've ever come across that told its story through letters to dead celebrities. So bonus points there for sure!
The overall story reminded me a lot of Perks of Being a Wallflower, which is one of my all time favorites.
I did not LOVE the POV/writing of the book but that wasn't because the author didn't do well. In fact I'd say that means she did amazing given the book is told from the POV of a teenage girl. She's young, and the writing reflects that. So while it wasn't my personal cup of tea, it made sense for the book. Bear that in mind when going into this one.
We follow Laurel venting to dead celebrities about her life and the loss of her sister. How did she die? Why does Laurel feel guilty? Why isn't her mom around anymore? Through letters to her idols she reminisces and vents, and we get to see her navigate life and relationships without her big sister.
*Potential trigger warnings for domestic abuse, rape, molestation, drug/alcohol use, and suicide.
Daniel Boyd (1066 KP) rated Big Little Lies - Season 1 in TV
Feb 8, 2019 (Updated Feb 8, 2019)
Rich White People Problems: The Show
As more news of Season 2 of this show seeps out, I decided to eventually get around to catching the first season of this highly praised and seemingly universally lauded show. I went in expecting greatness from this thing after reading all of the glowing critic's reviews. I am also a huge fan of many of the cast members involved in this project, so knowing nothing about the plot or subject matter the show is based on, I went in blind; excited to see what this series had in store.
The series opens with some ominous editing and vague hints that a major crime has been committed, which we eventually realise to be a murder. Then we are taken backwards tin time and are introduced to Reese Witherspoon's character Madeline, whom initially comes off as entitled and annoying, but you assume that this is going to have a purpose in her character's arc and she will grow on you. You are wrong to assume that as she is extremely irritating throughout the entire duration of the series, constantly interrupting other characters lines and sticking her oar in during group situations, just for the sake of clinging on to the spotlight and keeping herself at the centre of attention.
Thankfully, Nicole Kidman's character Celeste is less annoying and instead just a bit strange. We see pretty early on that she is a victim of domestic abuse at the hands of her much younger husband played by Alexander Skarsgard. At first this is pretty harrowing and sad to see, but for some reason, - and I don't want to kink shame anyone, - but it seems like she kind of likes it. The third main character we are introduced to is Jane, played by Shailene Woodley who immediately seems like damaged goods.
The "conflict," is then set up. After the first day at school we see a highly unrealistic scene play out as the most insensitive teacher in the world with zero foresight gathers all of the children in her class along with their parents outside the school gates. A girl has marks on her neck from being choked by one of the other kids. The teacher then asks the girl to point out the kid that did this to her (in front of the entire class and their parents!) and she points to Jane's son Ziggy. The boy denies any wrongdoing, but the girl who has been hurt's mother, (played by Laura Dern, whom I normally really like,) is a horrible, bitter bitch who responds to the situation by berating the accused boy in front of everyone, degrading his mother in the process for defending her child and not "making," him apologise.
*Insert Peter Griffin "Oh my God, who the hell cares?" meme here.*
Yeah, this is the kind of schoolyard bullshit that this show expects us to treat as a life or death issue. The whole thing is full of non-issues and petty whines centred around 'he said/she said,' nonsense. Then we are supposed to relate to these immature, venomous parents who don't do anything to help the situation whatsoever. Meanwhile the show treats domestic abuse, - something that is a very real and threatening issue, - as just a weird kink in this oddball couple's relationship.
It is clear that all of these parents clearly care far more about self-image than they do about their own children, which makes all of them extremely gross and off putting as characters. They constantly make up excuses as if to try and justify themselves and claim that the bitchy, conniving choices that they make towards each other is for the sake of their kids, when it is clearly just to one up each other in pathetic, petty social warfare and childish beefs.
Website theodysseyonline.com has an article called, '13 Reasons Why Big Little Lies Is So Powerful.' I truly fail to see what is apparently so powerful and ground-breaking about this series. I'm not even sure what it is trying to say; that domestic abuse and rape are bad things done by evil people? Wow, what a brave and unique stance to take! I also resent the idea that everyone that says anything remotely negative about this show is a women-hating misogynist. I consider myself a left-leaning liberal and a feminist, I am a strong supporter of equal rights amongst all genders and races and I do regular work for a women's mental health charity, but I can still spot an overrated, hollow waste of 7 hours when I see one.
Overall, even though this season only last 7 episodes, it is not worth your time. After watching the first 2 episodes I thought about giving up on it, but then I thought about all of the glowing reviews and thought, 'no, surely this must get better.' Let me save you seven hours of your time; it doesn't. This is a melodramatic glorified soap opera that doesn't handle any of the issues that it tries to tackle well and it is filled, - to the point it is bursting at the seams, - with small scope issues and minor annoyances treated as life threatening scenarios, all the while brushing off the genuinely scary and potentially life threatening scenario of domestic abuse.
The series opens with some ominous editing and vague hints that a major crime has been committed, which we eventually realise to be a murder. Then we are taken backwards tin time and are introduced to Reese Witherspoon's character Madeline, whom initially comes off as entitled and annoying, but you assume that this is going to have a purpose in her character's arc and she will grow on you. You are wrong to assume that as she is extremely irritating throughout the entire duration of the series, constantly interrupting other characters lines and sticking her oar in during group situations, just for the sake of clinging on to the spotlight and keeping herself at the centre of attention.
Thankfully, Nicole Kidman's character Celeste is less annoying and instead just a bit strange. We see pretty early on that she is a victim of domestic abuse at the hands of her much younger husband played by Alexander Skarsgard. At first this is pretty harrowing and sad to see, but for some reason, - and I don't want to kink shame anyone, - but it seems like she kind of likes it. The third main character we are introduced to is Jane, played by Shailene Woodley who immediately seems like damaged goods.
The "conflict," is then set up. After the first day at school we see a highly unrealistic scene play out as the most insensitive teacher in the world with zero foresight gathers all of the children in her class along with their parents outside the school gates. A girl has marks on her neck from being choked by one of the other kids. The teacher then asks the girl to point out the kid that did this to her (in front of the entire class and their parents!) and she points to Jane's son Ziggy. The boy denies any wrongdoing, but the girl who has been hurt's mother, (played by Laura Dern, whom I normally really like,) is a horrible, bitter bitch who responds to the situation by berating the accused boy in front of everyone, degrading his mother in the process for defending her child and not "making," him apologise.
*Insert Peter Griffin "Oh my God, who the hell cares?" meme here.*
Yeah, this is the kind of schoolyard bullshit that this show expects us to treat as a life or death issue. The whole thing is full of non-issues and petty whines centred around 'he said/she said,' nonsense. Then we are supposed to relate to these immature, venomous parents who don't do anything to help the situation whatsoever. Meanwhile the show treats domestic abuse, - something that is a very real and threatening issue, - as just a weird kink in this oddball couple's relationship.
It is clear that all of these parents clearly care far more about self-image than they do about their own children, which makes all of them extremely gross and off putting as characters. They constantly make up excuses as if to try and justify themselves and claim that the bitchy, conniving choices that they make towards each other is for the sake of their kids, when it is clearly just to one up each other in pathetic, petty social warfare and childish beefs.
Website theodysseyonline.com has an article called, '13 Reasons Why Big Little Lies Is So Powerful.' I truly fail to see what is apparently so powerful and ground-breaking about this series. I'm not even sure what it is trying to say; that domestic abuse and rape are bad things done by evil people? Wow, what a brave and unique stance to take! I also resent the idea that everyone that says anything remotely negative about this show is a women-hating misogynist. I consider myself a left-leaning liberal and a feminist, I am a strong supporter of equal rights amongst all genders and races and I do regular work for a women's mental health charity, but I can still spot an overrated, hollow waste of 7 hours when I see one.
Overall, even though this season only last 7 episodes, it is not worth your time. After watching the first 2 episodes I thought about giving up on it, but then I thought about all of the glowing reviews and thought, 'no, surely this must get better.' Let me save you seven hours of your time; it doesn't. This is a melodramatic glorified soap opera that doesn't handle any of the issues that it tries to tackle well and it is filled, - to the point it is bursting at the seams, - with small scope issues and minor annoyances treated as life threatening scenarios, all the while brushing off the genuinely scary and potentially life threatening scenario of domestic abuse.
Jamie (131 KP) rated Born a Crime: Stories from a South African Childhood in Books
Jul 22, 2017
Noah’s wit and charm (1 more)
Frank discussions of racism, poverty, and family
A stellar memoir
For those that don’t already know who Trevor Noah is, he is a comedian from South Africa that is now the current host of The Daily Show, taking the place of Jon Stewart when he retired. Trevor is an accomplished polyglot, speaking 9 languages fluently and has some fluency in several more. In much of his comedy he talks about his difficulties with racial identity having been born during apartheid to an African mother and a Swiss father. Apartheid was a system of institutionalized segregation in South Africa that lasted from the 1940’s to the 1990’s.
The book is bursting at the seams with humorous anecdotes about growing up as the wild child in his family. Getting in trouble, trying to outrun and outsmart his mom, committing petty crimes with friends, striking out with girls; Trevor’s life was colorful in no small part because of his mother. In interviews Trevor has stated that his memoir became sort of an open love letter to his mother, Patricia Noah–a fiercely independent woman that refused to be held down by her race or gender and sought to show her son the world outside of apartheid South Africa, who tried to save her son from the cruelty of the world.
“The world doesn’t love you. If the police get you, the police don’t love you. When I beat you, I’m trying to save you. When they beat you, they’re trying to kill you.”
The last chapters had me sobbing which was something that I hadn’t anticipated. Trevor mentions his step-father in the early chapters in passing, like a dark cloud that hung over his family’s life. I wasn’t prepared for the deeply troubling and heartbreaking portrait of a loving family ripped apart by abuse and the failures of law enforcement to prevent tragedy despite numerous attempts to get help.
I was already a fan of Trevor Noah, having watched some of his stand-up comedy and was overjoyed when he took over The Daily Show. From this memoir I have a newfound respect for Trevor not only for the horrendous abuse and racism he has endured, but how he allowed these things to shape who he is. He approaches issues of race, identity, poverty, and abuse with honesty and was able to articulate his feelings on topics that I have been struggling with for years. This memoir was surprisingly cathartic to me as someone that has struggled both with a mixed racial background and as a survivor of domestic abuse.
This was a wonderful memoir that really showcased that even in the darkest of places one can still find hope and strength in love. It was both insightful and laugh out loud funny, even if some of the humor could be viewed as highly offensive. I really enjoyed this memoir and am happy that I read it, it’s definitely going down on my shelf as a favorite.
The book is bursting at the seams with humorous anecdotes about growing up as the wild child in his family. Getting in trouble, trying to outrun and outsmart his mom, committing petty crimes with friends, striking out with girls; Trevor’s life was colorful in no small part because of his mother. In interviews Trevor has stated that his memoir became sort of an open love letter to his mother, Patricia Noah–a fiercely independent woman that refused to be held down by her race or gender and sought to show her son the world outside of apartheid South Africa, who tried to save her son from the cruelty of the world.
“The world doesn’t love you. If the police get you, the police don’t love you. When I beat you, I’m trying to save you. When they beat you, they’re trying to kill you.”
The last chapters had me sobbing which was something that I hadn’t anticipated. Trevor mentions his step-father in the early chapters in passing, like a dark cloud that hung over his family’s life. I wasn’t prepared for the deeply troubling and heartbreaking portrait of a loving family ripped apart by abuse and the failures of law enforcement to prevent tragedy despite numerous attempts to get help.
I was already a fan of Trevor Noah, having watched some of his stand-up comedy and was overjoyed when he took over The Daily Show. From this memoir I have a newfound respect for Trevor not only for the horrendous abuse and racism he has endured, but how he allowed these things to shape who he is. He approaches issues of race, identity, poverty, and abuse with honesty and was able to articulate his feelings on topics that I have been struggling with for years. This memoir was surprisingly cathartic to me as someone that has struggled both with a mixed racial background and as a survivor of domestic abuse.
This was a wonderful memoir that really showcased that even in the darkest of places one can still find hope and strength in love. It was both insightful and laugh out loud funny, even if some of the humor could be viewed as highly offensive. I really enjoyed this memoir and am happy that I read it, it’s definitely going down on my shelf as a favorite.
juliebreader (9 KP) rated It Ends With Us in Books
Sep 7, 2017
Contains spoilers, click to show
** spoiler alert ** This book. I finished it last night and can't stop thinking about it. I'm no expert, but the development of the characters, and the story, are superb. All of the characters had so much depth and I was completely immersed in the story. I didn't just read this book, I devoured it. My only caveat, and here's the spoiler, was Ryle's explanation for the abuse. I thought it should have been further explained, and made really clear, that his behavior had nothing to do with trauma related to his childhood. He was not blacking out. He was just plain abusive. Saying he was blacking out is a cop out. This is such an important and educational book about domestic violence, that it's a disservice to allow this reasoning without explaining that domestic violence isn't about anger, but about power and control. A perfect illustration of this is when Lily first meets Ryle on the roof deck and he's beating up the furniture. Did he black out at the hospital and beat up a co-worker? No. Did he black out and throw his sister down the stairs? No. He went to the roof and took it out on the furniture. A conscious choice. Did he black out when he was in their new apartment when he destroyed Lily's belongings then waited for her in the kitchen and sexually assaulted her then beat her? No, it was a very calculated assault. I would have liked a better explanation for this behavior from an educational standpoint. Lily made a smart decision,but I think she believed the excuse, which is so common and what can keep a person in that abusive situation. Even if it had been explained in the afterward, at least then it would have been made clear that his excuse was just that, an excuse. Despite this, it's still 5 stars for me. I will be thinking about this one for a long time to come.
PIPKAT (4 KP) rated Irresistible (Buchanans #2) in Books
Mar 4, 2022
<b>POV:</b> Multiple. <spoiler>The biggest issue I have with this book.</spoiler>
<b>Descriptive Sex:</b> Yes.
<b>OW/OM:</b> Yes. <spoiler>Sort of? Walker does kiss an ex-<i>lover</i> while Elissa and Walker are together. Said ex is also married and I just do not see why it had to be included. Also, as mentioned in other reviews, if there's an ex or dead spouse that aren't physically there but still deters the relationship, I would include it OW/OM drama. In this case, Walker's (dead) ex-high school girlfriend is why he doesn't want to commit.</spoiler>
<b>Separation:</b> No.
<b>Content Warnings:</b> domestic abuse, child abuse, drugs, and mention of abortion.
<b>★★½</b>
If this book was purely Elissa and Walker's story, got rid of that ridiculous Naomi scene (re: OW/OM), and didn't rush the ending, then this would've easily been four stars for me. This book suffered from the randomly scattered scenes in the POV of Walker's siblings. I know it was done because this is a continuous story of these siblings that spans over four books, but I really don't want to read about these characters with OW/OM then in their book they end up with someone else <spoiler>(I'm only assuming this is the case in [b:Delicious|73069|Delicious (Buchanans, #1)|Susan Mallery|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1388274581l/73069._SY75_.jpg|70723] since we see Dani with someone in this novel before her book. Also assuming <i>Delicious</i> involves Naomi and Walker which I'm glad I passed over otherwise I wouldn't make it through this. Although if it doesn't then that makes the Naomi scene even more pointlessly thrown into this book)</spoiler>. Which is why I don't plan on continuing or going back. I did really like Elissa and Walker individually as well as together though. It was touch and go since there is a lot of push and pull when I think Elissa deserved definitiveness.
<b>Descriptive Sex:</b> Yes.
<b>OW/OM:</b> Yes. <spoiler>Sort of? Walker does kiss an ex-<i>lover</i> while Elissa and Walker are together. Said ex is also married and I just do not see why it had to be included. Also, as mentioned in other reviews, if there's an ex or dead spouse that aren't physically there but still deters the relationship, I would include it OW/OM drama. In this case, Walker's (dead) ex-high school girlfriend is why he doesn't want to commit.</spoiler>
<b>Separation:</b> No.
<b>Content Warnings:</b> domestic abuse, child abuse, drugs, and mention of abortion.
<b>★★½</b>
If this book was purely Elissa and Walker's story, got rid of that ridiculous Naomi scene (re: OW/OM), and didn't rush the ending, then this would've easily been four stars for me. This book suffered from the randomly scattered scenes in the POV of Walker's siblings. I know it was done because this is a continuous story of these siblings that spans over four books, but I really don't want to read about these characters with OW/OM then in their book they end up with someone else <spoiler>(I'm only assuming this is the case in [b:Delicious|73069|Delicious (Buchanans, #1)|Susan Mallery|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1388274581l/73069._SY75_.jpg|70723] since we see Dani with someone in this novel before her book. Also assuming <i>Delicious</i> involves Naomi and Walker which I'm glad I passed over otherwise I wouldn't make it through this. Although if it doesn't then that makes the Naomi scene even more pointlessly thrown into this book)</spoiler>. Which is why I don't plan on continuing or going back. I did really like Elissa and Walker individually as well as together though. It was touch and go since there is a lot of push and pull when I think Elissa deserved definitiveness.