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Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark (2019)
Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark (2019)
2019 | Horror
In the early 1980s, author Alvin Schwartz created a book of short horror stories titled Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark that would go on to terrorize a whole generation of curious young readers. Combined with its morbid and ghastly illustrations by artist Stephen Gammell, the book would serve as an introduction to horror for many. Over the next ten years, Schwartz wrote two more books in the Scary Stories series, and now, nearly forty years later, it has finally been adapted into a major motion picture. Produced by Academy Award-winning director Guillermo Del Toro and directed by André Øvredal, the Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark film constructs a new narrative around several of the iconic short stories from the book series, and brings them to life to haunt the movie’s teenage characters.

In Mill Valley, Pennsylvania in 1968, a group of teenage friends fleeing from a band of bullies hide out in an abandoned haunted house on Halloween night. They know the story of this house well, whose folklore is rooted in the origins of their own small town. It was once owned by the wealthy Bellows Family, who according to urban legend, locked away their own daughter, Sarah Bellows, inside the cellar of their home. Sarah had been accused of killing the town’s children, and so her family kept her hidden away and attempted to erase her from existence, even removing her from their own family portraits. According to legend, Sarah wrote a book of horror stories and would read them aloud through the walls of her room to frighten the local townspeople.

While inside this haunted house, our group of protagonists; Stella (Zoe Colletti), Ramón (Michael Garza), Auggie (Gabriel Rush), and Chuck (Austin Zajur), discover the room Sarah had spent her life trapped in. Stella, an amateur horror writer herself, finds the rumored book that was written by Sarah. Upon opening it she sees that a new page is somehow being written in blood right before her very eyes, and it happens to be about the bully that chased them into the house. The next day, they realize that it seems as though the story actually came true, and that the book itself may be haunted. This establishes the basic premise of the film, in which new stories are being written in the book and they appear to be targeting Stella and everyone else that entered the Bellows’ house that night.

It’s an interesting set-up that cleverly mixes horror with mystery, as the characters are not only trying to survive these stories as they come to life, but are also trying to figure out how to stop them from happening. The film features five different stories from the series, most of which come from the third and final book, and a sixth story centered around Stella and Sarah Bellows that is at least in part inspired by one of the original tales. To give an example without giving too much away, one story for instance, involves a haunted scarecrow, whereas another is about a walking corpse in search of its severed big toe. The stories themselves are much more dark and grotesque than I had anticipated. I was expecting something more along the lines of Goosebumps, which was a series of children’s horror books that I personally loved and grew up with as a child, but these are much more disturbing than that. While I only found the first story of the film, “Harold”, to actually be scary, I do imagine this movie might be a little too frightening for some teenagers.

I should clarify that I’m not familiar with the original written source material of Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark, and I had truthfully never even heard of the books prior to the movie’s announcement. I don’t have any personal stake in these stories, but I do admire the thoughtfulness and creativity that went into building the film around them. I thought the film started out really strong with a likable cast of characters, and with most of its best moments featured early on. I loved the introduction to the haunted house and the legend of the Bellows Family. I enjoyed the playful nature of our group of young protagonists, who in the beginning felt reminiscent of the fun and crazy kids you might find in an 80s movie like The Goonies. Additionally, I liked the mystery of Sarah Bellows that the kids were trying to uncover, all the while struggling to survive the dangers of her haunting stories that had come to life.

Unfortunately, as the movie went on, I found myself less and less invested in it with each passing story, all of which I would argue are weaker than the previous one before it. The Pale Lady storyline was particularly dull and underwhelming. The final act itself, although smartly designed with its use of parallels, wound up feeling poorly executed and unsatisfying overall.

Similarly, in regards to the acting, I liked the performances even less by the end as well. Early on I had been impressed with Zoe Colletti as Stella, but I found her to be annoying in the later parts of the movie. The same goes for Austin Zajur as Chuck. The cast for the most part was decent, but everything about the movie began to drop in quality as it dragged on, which is especially unfortunate given how well it starts out.

The special effects are mostly quite good and adequately disturbing, but on the same token, I wish they were more clearly visible at times. A lot of the horror settings take place in dark rooms, so at times it can be hard to see the monsters with much clarity. Still, I love the design of Harold the Scarecrow, as well as The Jangly Man, who is played by contortionist Troy James whose extreme flexibility allows the character to move in unnatural and disturbing looking ways.
To conclude, I’m left with some mixed feelings on Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark. For me, it almost hits the mark, but unfortunately it isn’t a movie that I think I’d bother to watch again. It made a solid first impression with its rich atmosphere and creepy first act, but it failed to maintain its momentum and level of quality. In the end, my favorite thing about the whole movie is actually the excellent cover song of “Season of the Witch” by Lana Del Rey that plays during the credits. However that’s not in any way to say the movie is so bad that the credits were my favorite part. It’s just a great song by an artist I very much enjoy. If you grew up with the Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark series, then by all means, I recommend that you at least check it out. If you like horror and have any troublesome teenaged kids, this may be a perfect opportunity to have some fun scaring the heck out of them.
  
The Batman (2022)
The Batman (2022)
2022 | Action, Adventure, Crime
Paul Dano and Colin Farrell's Performances (2 more)
The Batmobile car chase with Oz
The different/damaged take on Bruce Wayne
Entirely too long - too much detective work (2 more)
Little to no chemistry between The Bat and The Cat
The raspy adventures of Batsy and Jimbo
When is a Bat Not Quite a Bat?
Matt Reeves’ The Batman isn’t an origin story. Instead Bruce Wayne (Robert Pattinson) treats every villain and every thug as if they were the ones to take his parents away from him. This is a version of Bruce Wayne that hates being Bruce Wayne; Batman is his legacy. The tragedy of losing his parents is his most defining characteristic. Bruce is a social hermit and the world’s biggest introvert in The Batman.

The Riddler (Paul Dano) kills Gotham’s mayor on Halloween night and he continues to target key political figures throughout the film. A cryptic riddle is left for Batman at every crime scene revealing just a big enough clue to keep Batman and Jim Gordon (Jeffrey Wright) entangled in Riddler’s enigmatic bloodbath. As Batman crosses paths with a cat-loving thief named Selina Kyle (Zoe Kravitz) and the magnificently sleazy Iceberg Lounge owner Oswald Cobblepot (Colin Farrell), he soon realizes that the Wayne family may be a bigger piece of the puzzle than he originally imagined.

Paul Dano is essentially the highlight of the film. Matt Reeves stated that his inspiration for his version of the character was The Zodiac Killer and it shows. Riddler’s costume is basically a camouflage gimp outfit with tactical advantages and a fetish for duct tape. Dano’s performance is haunting. His riddles are more akin to Jigsaw’s games from the Saw franchise. The character is at his best when he’s showcased in grainy cell phone videos where his shouting and heavy breathing are even more distorted than if he was standing right in front of you. The intriguing aspect is that Dano seems to be even more mesmerizing as the character once he’s unmasked. He’s able to tap into this lunacy, this dread, and this hypnotic terror that defines the character whether he’s hiding his face or not.

Featured less prominently is Colin Farrell as Oswald Cobblepot, who also delivers a fantastic performance. Farrell is so unrecognizable thanks to the facial prosthetics and fat suit that he’s wearing. Some of the aspects of The Penguin that makes him so dangerous is that he’s incredibly resourceful and he can talk his way into and out of just about anything. Farrell’s best moments as the character come during the Batmobile chase featured in the trailer followed by the conversation Batman and Gordon have with him immediately afterwards. You never knew how much you needed a Spanish lesson from Oz until Matt Reeves came along.

The Batmobile car chase is the best sequence of the film. It’s absolutely explosive and worth seeing in a theater. Michael Giacchino’s score is also bold and thrilling; it helps define the Batman character for a new generation with an undeniably epic theme. Matt Reeves compared Bruce Wayne to Kurt Cobain in this film. Bruce’s relationship with the spotlight and how he’d rather stay away from it is a lot like how Cobain viewed being famous. “Something in the Way” by Nirvana fits the Batman universe so well and it’s surprising nobody has ever thought of utilizing it until now.

This unusual version of Bruce Wayne in The Batman makes it feel unlike any other Batman film. Bruce Wayne is typically a playboy that is consistently showcased at public events that flaunts his fortune and bounces from woman to woman on a nightly basis. In The Batman, we see the smudged black eye makeup as Bruce takes off his cowl. Robert Pattinson didn’t bulk up for the role, so he has this pale and gaunt appearance. He has no interest in the business his father left him in charge of. Vengeance is his only purpose.

The Batman is also the first Batman film to actually feel like a detective story. So much time is devoted to the investigation aspect of the film; maybe too much time. The film is five minutes shy of being three hours long and The Batman feels like a three hour film. Some of these sequences feel like they could have been trimmed (did we really need to see Batman or Bruce Wayne go to the Iceberg Lounge so many times?) or cut entirely, but everything feels like it’s part of the bigger picture of capturing The Riddler. Every little stop along the way leads to the next clue or next big encounter. Unfortunately, it feels like a chore listening to Batman answer riddles for the sixth time in the midst of three hours.

Robert Pattinson is a seriously talented actor outside of the Twilight franchise and Zoe Kravitz chooses interesting projects to be a part of, but their chemistry in The Batman feels forced. Batman tracks down Selina Kyle almost like a stalker as he starts inserting himself into her life after a random encounter at The Iceberg Lounge. Despite being friends in real life, the two actors seem stiff and awkward when they’re around each other. These are two versions of the characters that don’t have the history the comics or the movies laid out for them after decades of publication and on screen appearances. This is supposed to be the first time they’ve met and they go from being bumbling partners to nearly leaving Gotham together after being shot at a few times and finding a dead girl in a trunk; it doesn’t make sense.

Matt Reeves was capable of taking The Batman into a different direction for both the Batman universe and superhero films alike. The action sequences are almost earned here as there’s much more down time while following a lead or doing research. You actually see that Bruce documents his inner monologues and his nightly outings as Batman in handwritten journals. There’s a ton of interesting concepts in The Batman that ultimately don’t pay off.

Paul Dano and Colin Farrell are extraordinary, but The Batman is a three hour slog through Gotham that culminates with an over exaggerated riddle that isn’t worth solving. Having Batman and Jim Gordon both speak in raspy, whispery grunts feels excessive as does Gordon’s insistence on calling Batman, “Chief,” every time that they’re together. The film deserves credit for prominently shining the spotlight on the underbelly of crime in Gotham, but the storytelling in The Batman is a lot like Bugs Bunny meaning to have taken that left turn at Albuquerque; a meandering foray down a dark rabbit hole that isn’t entirely necessary.
  
Trogdor!!: The Board Game
Trogdor!!: The Board Game
2019 | Adventure, Miniatures, Puzzle
I cannot possible explain to you how many hours of my college career were spent LMBO at the homestarrunner.com website. Teen Girl Squad. Strong Bad E-mails. The incredible Halloween episodes. If you know what I’m talking about, I hope you enjoyed some sense of beautiful nostalgia just now. So when I saw that someone was making a board game based on a secondary (or a thirdedary) character from one of my favorite websites from my not-so-youth I knew it would be mine someday. That day has come and I am here to report my thoughts on Trogdor!! The Board Game.

Trogdor!! The Board Game, which I’m just gonna start calling Trogdor!!, is a cooperative area burninating puzzle adventure game for only the coolest of the cool. The twist on this game, if you are unfamiliar with Trogdor or Homsar, is that the players are all essentially cultists who assist Trogdor to burninate the countryside, all the cottages, and chomp the peasants or send them to the Void.

DISCLAIMER: Though this was Kickstarted, I did not splurge on the deluxe version, so I have the meepled version and it does just fine. Furthermore, I do not intend to cover every single rule included in the rule book, but will describe the overall game flow and major rule set so that our readers may get a sense of how the game plays. For more in depth rules, you may purchase a copy from the publisher directly or from your FLGS. -T

To setup the game (and I found this part tedious) lay out the countryside tiles according to one of the suggested layouts in the back of the rule book or simply wherever you want in a 5×5 grid. This is your game board now. Also place out the thatched-roof cottages, peasants, knights, and archers. Trogdor starts the game in the middle tile, prepped for his burnination run. Each player also receives a Keeper of Trogdor persona card that provides special abilities, an item card that can be used during play, and an action card that determines how many action points a player may use as well as possibly special abilities to use for the turn. Troghammer starts the game on the Trog-meter, ready to come onto the board to wreak hammery havoc on our hero.

A turn consists of two phases. The first phase has the current player drawing an action card which intimates the number of action points (AP) the player can use for actions: Move Trogdor one space orthogonally, Chomp a peasant to increase health, Burninate a tile/cottage/peasant, Burrow into a tunnel and pop out the other side, or Hide in the mountains. Movement is easy: move Trogdor one space per AP you’d like to spend. Chomping requires Trogdor to be on the same tile as a peasant, but then you can chow down on them to increase our deity’s health bar. Burninating also requires Trogdor to be on the same tile as the tile/cottage/peasant you want to burninate. The Lake tile has special burninating rules, as do thatched-roof cottages. I will also allow you to learn about burninating peasants on your own, as it is pretty amazing. Burrowing requires Trogdor to be on a tunnel tile and spend an AP to teleport to the other tunnel (a la Small World). Trogdor may also simply Hide on a mountain tile to be protected from the attackers that act during the next phase. If players to not like either the action card they were dealt or the card they drew, they may simply discard a card to take their turn with 5 AP and no special abilities.

The next phase is where the board elements do their thang. The active player will draw and play a movement card. From instructions on this card the board may spawn more peasants, will move the peasants, will move the knights and also archers. Peasants do not fight Trogdor, but they can possibly repair burninated tiles. Knights WILL hurt Trogdor whenever they pass through or end their turn on the same tile as Trogdor. Knights will also automatically repair any burninated thatched-roof cottages they pass through. Troghammer is a special knight who only comes into play once Trogdor is hurt the first time. Archers will attack an entire column or row depending on which direction they were traveling when they ended their movement. If Trogdor still has peasants on the Trog-meter (representing health), then the next player takes their turn. If Trogdor has no more health and he is hit again, he enters a fiery RAGE! I will let you discover what happens during this event also.

The players win when all the tiles, cottages, and peasants have been burninated or eliminated from the board. They lose when Trogdor is defeated and they have not completed their victory conditions.

Components. It’s always so hard to really know exactly what you will be receiving when you Kickstart a game. Especially from a company not known for board games, and which has never produced a board game. So, I was anticipating something entirely different as I was opening my box. This is what I received: excellent tiles with UV spot on each side (super fancy!). I usually don’t care about UV spot anywhere on my game, but that seems to be en vogue now, so I’ll just try to enjoy it when I can. The other cardboard bits are great too. The cards are of great quality, but I went ahead and sleeved the action and movement cards since I knew they would be handled quite a bit. The Trogeeples (jeez) all are of great quality, and I really appreciate the additional Trogdor meeples included. I had a big chuckle about that. The artwork is comical (like in a comic) and I also appreciated all the Strong Bad enhancements as well. The only negative I have about the components of the game is the ridiculous thin box of air that was included as a buffer near the insert. I threw it out, put my sleeved action and movement cards in a plastic deck box in its place and now I’m much happier.

Overall, I had such a blast playing this game. Is it mostly due to nostalgia and reverie? Perhaps. But, Bryan was playing this with us and he didn’t know anything about Trogdor or Homestar Runner. He also really enjoyed the game, so I think the level of familiarity doesn’t matter. Obviously I did not explain EVERY rule to the game, but hopefully by my quick description my readers get a good idea of how the game plays. I can honestly say that I love love love this game and will treasure it always. If/when I see this at my FLGS I may just buy up all the copies to give as gifts. It’s really good. That’s why Purple Phoenix Games give this one an MSG’d 15 / 18. Oh, and you’re welcome for my holding back of all the quotes I COULD HAVE put in this review. I could have really earned my nerd card renewal.
  
Christmas Lights
Christmas Lights
2018 | Abstract Strategy, Memory
A Christmas game? Me?? I have never really been super into Christmastime. My wife (and kids obvs) are mega Christmas fiends, and I am trying to get more into the spirit all the time. So when a call for reviewers went out for this one, I wanted to give it a shot especially now during mid-December. For my wife, of course. Certainly not for me… Certainly not for me.

Christmas Lights is a card game for two to six players that has each player attempting to organize their tangle of light strands into some sort of order. However, as the lights aren’t yet on players are working in the dark. Therefore players cannot see the lights they are untangling and will need help from other players along the way.

DISCLAIMER: We were provided a copy of this game for the purposes of this review. This is a retail copy of the game, so what you see in these photos is exactly what would be received in your box. I do not intend to cover every single rule included in the rulebook, but will describe the overall game flow and major rule set so that our readers may get a sense of how the game plays. For more in depth rules, you may purchase a copy online or from your FLGS. -T


To setup a game shuffle and place out the Event, Pattern, and Bulb card decks into their piles. Deal each player five Bulb cards face-down and two Pattern cards. Each player will also be given a random Character card and player aid card. Whomever is dealt the Santa character will be the first player. The players will consult their Pattern cards and choose one to begin working on initially. The game is now ready to begin!
On a turn a player has the opportunity to take four different actions, in their specific order: Play, Swap, Sale, and Refill. To Play one or more cards, simply choose it/them from hand and place it/them down to begin or continue the strand pictured on the first Pattern card in exact sequence order. Should a player wish to Swap cards with another player, they simply take the swap card from their hand and grab whichever card they please from an opponent’s hand to be placed in their own. Next the player may offer a card from their hand to be sold to other players during the Sale phase. Should another player wish to purchase the card, they spend not money but information to the seller. This information comes in the form of answers to yes/no questions about cards in the active player’s hand. Wait, why, you ask? Because player hands in this game are played facing away from the player, exactly like are played in Hanabi. That’s right, players do not see the cards in their own hands, but rather every other player’s hand. Once some or all of these phases have been played, the active player will need to Refill their hand back up to five cards. It is now the next player’s turn.

Each of these steps will need to be taken in order. Should a player not wish to Swap, for example, they may not hold a Sale and then decide to Swap afterward.

Some Bulb cards are special. These include the Broken Bulb, the Bubble Bulb, and the Plug. A player may place a Broken Bulb anywhere in their strand sequence as a temporary placeholder, but it will need to be covered up by the correctly-colored Bulb card in the future before the player is able to score the strand. The Bubble Bulb is essentially a Wild Bulb and can be played in place of any colored Bulb. However, once played it will remind the player to draw and play an Event card immediately. These Event cards may be either good or bad for the active player, so there is risk in playing the wild Bubble Bulbs. Once the first strand is completed per the appropriate Pattern card, the player will need to play a Plug card in order to connect their first strand to their next. Then the player will be able to begin work on their second strand.


Play continues in this fashion of blind play and deduction of held cards until one player successfully completes both of their Pattern cards. Every player will be able to take the same amount of turns, and if there is a tie between players the used Broken and Bubble Bulb cards will be taken into consideration to determine the winner.
Components. This is a card game. There are a lot of cards. The cards are all great quality, and though I have seen reports of flimsy stock or even see-through quality thickness, I have not had this issue (though I believe I have the second edition of the game, so that might be a difference existing between the editions). The art on the cards is very cute and endearing. Each color of bulb is also a different shape so our colorblind friends should have an easier time playing as well. Each card is laid out well and I have no complaints about components at all.

The gameplay is such that I believe players will either love or hate. Not being able to see the cards in your hand can certainly be stressful and frustrating, but it is a very light card game. Get over it. Again, if you have played Hanabi before, you know the feeling. But it changes the game so drastically when you have to remember what’s in your hand at all times, and when players are swapping with you left and right it is definitely easy to forget what’s going on in your hand. Not that I ever had that problem… Okay, it happens all the time, but I just laugh it off.

I do love this little game and am so happy I took a chance on it. Though I am still learning to love Christmas (Halloween is my jam), this game has a ton going for it. In addition to the game I have loosely described in this review Christmas Lights comes with a booklet that has rule sets for 12 different games that can be played with the included components. TWELVE EXTRA GAME MODES. That’s crazy! So when purchasing Christmas Lights people are actually purchasing 13 games in one box, with two of those modes being for Solo players. The variety and replayability here is off the charts and I am excited to play through the other game modes as soon as I can, and I know my wife will be into as well.

That said, having a Christmas-themed game that delights my wife and I equally is certainly something that I can easily recommend. Purple Phoenix Games gives this one a cheery 10 / 12 for its portability, variability, cute art, and great game play. If you see it in stores, pick up a copy. I am going out on a limb and saying that you could even play this game when it’s NOT Christmastime and still have a great experience with it. If you are looking for something a little different and like Hanabi but wish for something else, give Christmas Lights a shot. Hopefully you will find it as charming as we both do. Oh, and a little pro tip: pour yourself a mug of chai and grab a gingerbread cookie whilst playing. Not necessary, but it certainly works for us. Happy Holidays, ALL holidays, everyone!
  
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Kirk Bage (1775 KP) rated The Mandalorian in TV

Jan 22, 2021 (Updated Jan 22, 2021)  
The Mandalorian
The Mandalorian
2019 | Sci-Fi
Being a child of Star Wars, born in ’73, whose first memory of a cinema was A New Hope in ’77, of course the entire franchise is still close to my heart. I am no superfan, however. I do not need to remember every name of every character, or know the obscure names of planets to enjoy it. I remember that deeply competitive nature back in the playground – how important it was to prove Star Wars was yours by knowing more than any other kid! Fortunately I managed to let that go shortly after The Return of the Jedi. Ok, maybe 1995.

The Mandalorian is definitely for all Star Wars fans, but it is mostly for the kids that never grew up and need those details of “the canonical Star Wars” universe in their lives. And there are plenty of them. It is a geek’s wet dream! With chat rooms and fan sites going wild in debate and argument over the smallest of Easter eggs and hints to connections across the medium. As if this is a lost historical document that sheds light on the truth of many characters and events, that until now were shrouded in darkness and speculation only.

I find that phenomenon weird and a little creepy, but I do appreciate where it comes from. For me, I am merely glad it isn’t crap. It is nice to be in the Star Wars universe without holding your face in your hands for shame of lazy storytelling and moments that shit on the spirit of the original trilogy. The first thing that pleased me about The Mandolorian is how close it is in feel to the old school trilogy. In fact it surprised me, because, despite the very modern effects and full budget of Disney behind it, it feels very old fashioned, like a TV show from around 1986, maybe. And I wonder how they have achieved that every time I watch it. It has an intangible magic about it.

In fact, the feel of the show as a whole is often a little cheap, shockingly – the posters and toys and all associated media is as glossy and crisp as all money can afford, creating an image of the show that isn’t actually what the show is. In reality it is a cross between old spaghetti westerns, with The Mandalorian cast as The Man With No Name, and episodes of The A-Team or Knightrider. I kinda like it; very nostalgic, and a smart move by Jon Favreau and the other show-runners. It appeals to middle aged audiences and new alike, because it is a knowing hybrid of all things cool and nerdy!

Design-wise, the look of The Mandalorian himself is perfect fan bait and very cool. The music goes a long way to drawing you in – Ludwig Göransson, known for his work on Black Panther and Tenet, has hit on a career defining theme that blends Clint Eastwood and Star Wars in perfect harmony. I can’t imagine the show working half as well without that theme music! The spaceships and detail of every alien and weapon and costume is meticulous (if at times a little wobbly or cheap looking), and the wider feel of background and tertiary characters is pretty damn good.

But, let’s face it… The Mandalorian is the success it has been predominantly for one reason. I could give him his real name, but if you haven’t finished it yet that would count as a huge spoiler, so I will refer to him as The Child. The temptation to use the phrase Baby Yoda is hard to resist, and has been a cultural phenomenon that only comes along once or twice in a decade, but on this I agree with the fans: it is inaccurate and misleading. The Child is fine. It’ll do until you learn his true moniker.

In season one, where the build up of story, character and mystery is superb, we see very little of The Child at first. But we cannot take our eyes off him for every second he is on screen. The whole concept is so beyond cute and incredibly strong as a hook for a Star Wars story it is almost impossible not to squeal out loud at everything he does. Who is he? Why is he? What is he capable of? How will he fit in to the longterm idea for the story? So exciting, and total genius to keep everyone watching.

It isn’t all about The Child on his own though. It is about the unlikely symbiotic bond, like father and son, that develops between the tiny, vulnerable and childlike focal point, and the increasingly confident and loyal antihero, who will stop at nothing to protect his ward, as he struggles to find his own place in the universe. After a very short time, we care more about this relationship than 90% of all romances in all of TV history.

Through danger, mayhem and a touch of comedy, we grow to adore the two of them together, and can’t bear to think of them being apart. Some trick when you realise The Child is as much a mini-muppet style prosthetic as it is added CGI for expression and detail. Perhaps another callback to our 80s sensibilities, when we accepted ETs and Gremlins and all of the residents of Mos Eisley’s cantina as real without hesitation. It doesn’t have to look real, is the point, as long as it fits the story, is cool and is fun! Which The Child totally is – for entertainment value they have got the tone of the show so right.

What doesn’t hold up that strongly to critical scrutiny though is quite a lot of the scripts, the repetitive nature of the context of many episodes and missions the duo find themselves on, the mismatch quality of the guest directors abilities, and quite a lot of the dodgy acting by supporting characters. It’s as if at some production meeting at one early point they all said, look it’s Star Wars, we make the aliens and the spaceships and the weapons look good and we can’t fail… plus we have The Child and Boba Fett’s (yes, I know) armour, we can’t fail!

The basic storyline is enough to hook it on, just about, it is the detail that sometimes feels weak and lazy. But don’t worry, any minute something cool to look at and a big fight will happen, so we’re all good! I’m sure Pedro Pascal (the actor under the armour) can’t believe his luck! He is one of the biggest stars in TV all of a sudden, for basically doing a fairly monotone voice-over performance of some seriously dodgy dialogue. That is the magic of Star Wars.

So, I came to season one late, having no access at that time to Disney plus. In fact, I watched all of season one in a day the day before the launch of season two, so the switch to a new episode to look forward to suited me well. It gave me something to look forward to on a Friday between Halloween and Christmas. Trouble was that, although still having fun with the exploits of The Kid, I was starting to weary of the plotlines, and put my viewing on hold after S2E4 in favour of the far superior scripting of His Dark Materials on BBC.

I must have needed the hiatus, because when I came back to mop it up and finish season two a few days ago I realised that I had in fact missed it. It also helped that episode 5 onwards is when the season gets really good again. Rosario Dawson as Ashoka Tano (known well by fans of The Clone Wars) was a truly great addition that the show much needed by that point.

I had no trouble after that in bingeing to the end. You could feel a climax and a revelation coming, and although the character of Moff Gideon (Giancarlo Esposito) crumbled disappointly away into nothing much, the last 15 minutes of the final episode had me slack jawed in fan wonderment. I felt 9 years old again, and I loved it! I had been amazingly lucky not to stumble upon spoilers, I guess. Amazing ending, and all faults forgiven for that unforgettable moment and feel. Wonderful stuff!

To say any more, again, is to spoil. So, let’s just talk about it privately, or, you know, in about a year when season 3 is over and it is old news. Hmmm, season 3…? I wonder where they will take that now…? Actually, properly exciting, in a back in the playground kind of way.