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Battlefield Earth (2000)
Battlefield Earth (2000)
2000 | Action, Horror, Sci-Fi
Ight Imma Head Out
When an alien species takes over Earth, the humans finally decide to rise up and fight back. Watching Battlefield Earth is like taking a shit that just doesn’t want to come out. It’s frustrating, it’s messy, and it only serves to screw up your day. In fact, this movie is so painful that I am forcing myself to watch it until I finish this review. Man, you should see how fast I’m typing right now.

Acting: 3
Less than two minutes in, the movie has one of those bloodcurdling “NO!” screams after main character Jonnie Goodboy Tyler (Barry Pepper) finds out someone close to him has died. That’s when I remember saying to myself: “What the hell did I just get myself into? I gotta sit through the rest of this?” You would think, “Well, it’s only uphill from here.” You, madam or sir, would be wrong. From John Travolta and Forest Whitaker’s painful performances as aliens to the rest of this horrid cast, I can’t really decide who did the worst job. I gave them a 3 because, well, I’m assuming they showed up on set everyday.

Beginning: 0

Cinematography/Visuals: 3
Fast forward to four minutes after the “scream”. You see a bunch of cavemen (ish) beating up a prop from a broken down minigolf fun center. You see this happening with weird cut shots and slow motion, all while focusing on the anger and intent of the cavemen who see it as a threat. It is quite possibly one of the dumbest scenes I have seen in film. It angers me even now just thinking about it.

Conflict: 6

Entertainment Value: 0

Memorability: 0
The only thing I need to remember is this movie is garbage and to run if someone ever mentions watching it. There is nothing about this movie I will ever treasure.

Pace: 2
Let me watch paint dry and see if I’m not more entertained. My wife captured a caterpillar in a jar recently because she thinks it may become a butterfly. I’m pretty sure it’s dying because it only moves an inch every few hours. That inch outpaces the speed at which this movie drags along. Give me the DMV. Give me the longest wait at any Disneyworld ride. Give me the lines for the 2008 voting stations. I will take any of these things over Battlefield Earth.

Plot: 0

Resolution: 1
Ended just like it began: As a failed movie with no redeeming qualities whatsoever.

Overall: 17
I usually don’t judge people on tastes. We’re all different and we all like different things. But if you enjoyed this movie in any shape or fashion and you profess to be my friend, please lose my number. The passion with which I hate this movie has no end.
  
II
Indigo Incite (Indigo Trilogy, #1)
4
4.0 (1 Ratings)
Book Rating
Well, in a few words, Indigo Incite was quite the snooze fest. It has an interesting premise, yes, but quite DULL. There's nothing much going on. Nothing!

      It started out interesting, of course, with all those seriously cool powers but over the course of the book, there really was nothing going on. I was really just hoping it would slowly build up and end with a good pow.

      It honestly didn't. It was like Nikita in walking through very deep snow motion, and I actually like Nikita. It's certainly not as interesting as Grimm though. I'm not even surprised by the end. It's obvious and doesn't exactly take brains to figure out the most logical answer.

      Then again, I could be surprised by the second book, but I'm pretty sure I won't be surprised. I probably won't be surprised on what may happen at the end of the trilogy either, but that's yet to be seen. *doesn't really plan on reading further on the series unless things spice up a notch in action*
<blockquote>“A few different people…some good, some not so good. Do you have time to talk? My name is Sarah, by the way.”</blockquote>
      Essentially it's a repeat of "Hi, I'm so and so. Can we talk?" in a different style. I stress SLOW. Too much talking. Less talking, more action. I have a semi-short attention span and I have other books on my review queue to read that are most likely more interesting than a bunch of dialogue. >_<

      Let me backtrack a little. Indigo Incite isn't full of dialogue, but it simply felt like it's all talk and no action, if you know what I mean?

      Maybe it's the random commas that just felt really out of place. I really thought that was the main reason for the slow going of things. I eventually ignored them, but still... nothing interesting going on. Zzzzz. *yawns*
<blockquote>“Come on, boys.” Henry waved the gun toward the door. “Let’s walk. First, I’ll take that disc off your hands.”</blockquote>
      What happens next? ATTENTION: SPOILER ALERT! Hellooo, the police barge in. -_-

      Typical bad guy gets caught by the authorities and real life stuffy. -_-

      I thought Tyler and Toby would go all Jackie Chan on Henry and things will finally have some SPICE. I adore spices. Particularly cinnamon and – does gingerbread marshmallows count? It contains ginger and they're delicious. Quite cheap right after Christmas too. I don't mean those Asian herbs that look like alien fingers, though for all I know they're the same thing. :D
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Review copy provided by author for review on the blog tour
Original Rating: 2.5 out of 5 Owls
Formatting has been removed due to copy and paste
This review and more can be found at <a href="http://bookwyrming-thoughts.blogspot.com/2014/01/review-indigo-incite-by-jacinda-buchmann.html">Bookwyrming Thoughts</a>
<img src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Gi5Rk5yLloA/UtliaUbdL3I/AAAAAAAACbE/J27z92_qrYU/s1600/Official+Banner.png"; />
  
Boo! A Madea Halloween (2016)
Boo! A Madea Halloween (2016)
2016 | Comedy, Drama, Horror
7
6.8 (5 Ratings)
Movie Rating
good comedy movie for halloween
Contains spoilers, click to show
Hellur!!! OK so if you are looking for a good comedy movie for halloween (I know not typically a genre that you look for this time of year) then look no further. If you are a Tyler Perry fan or a fan of Madea you are going to be pleasantly surprised that this movie isn't a flop like (in my humble opinion) A Madea Christmas. Now since the early days I have loved the Madea character and the good wholesome values that Mr. Perry brings to the big screen. Sometimes they can "reach" and other times its just good fun.

In this movie, we find a grown 17yr old Tiffany (played by Diamond White) Brian's Daughter who we first met in Diary of a Mad Black Woman as a little girl (played by Tiffany Evens) and some girlfriends walking home from school, where they come across a Frat House with overly douchey College guys who are cat calling the young high school girls as they walk past their house.

They all try to talk to them and of course they only have one thing on their mind while talking to the girls. They invite them to a Halloween bash that they hold every year and about that time a very angry Brian pulls up and has a verbal confrontation with these guys. Embarrassed by the incident Tiffany is angry and talks back to Brian in front of her girlfriends and the Frat boys. Later we find Tiffany and her friend Aday (played by Liz Koshy) scheming in Tiffany's room about how they are going to sneak out after Brian leaves for work for the weekend.

Brian after finding out that his daughter is going to be meeting up with the boys later, calls Madea to come by and stay with the girls so that she can keep them in line. Well Madea, Joe, Aunt Bam, and Hattie, all show up to the house, where they witness the disrespectful nature in which Tiffany speaks to Brian and how she "throws shade" at the "old people" who are there to thwart her plans to go to the college frat party. Antics ensue as Tiffany decides to play a prank on Madea, Joe, Bam, and Hattie, and tell them a spooky story about how their house is haunted and that the only way to be safe is to go to bed before 10pm. After this the girls sneak out of the house to attend the party. Madea, goes to check up on the girls after some time has passed, and discovers that they are not in bed. Madea rallies up the troop (Bam and Hattie) and heads down to the frat party. When they pull up Madea is accosted by some frat boys on the front steps and after quickly putting them in place, she begins to search the party for Tiffany and Aday. When their friends find out that Tiffany's aunt is looking for her, they are quickly taken outside and Madea is hoisted up by a bunch of angry and drunk party goers and is thrown out the door.

"Mad as hell" Madea returns to Brian's house and calls the cops on the party and has it shut down. The frat boys take it on themselves to get back at Madea. Meanwhile, Tiffany comes downstairs and confronts Madea about what was going on acting like she had been upstairs sleeping in her dad's room the whole time. The frat boys begin messing with Madea, Joe, Bam, and Hattie, scaring them. At which point a couple of the guys, dress up like clowns and stalk Madea, Bam, and Hattie through out the house, eventually causing them to get in Madea's car and flee.

As they head down a dark road Madea's car breaks down. Madea and Hattie get out to try and see what is wrong with the car. About that time shadowy figures begin to appear in the woods surrounding them, and begin chasing them. Madea kicks it into high gear and leaves everyone in the dust and runs into the church where Aday's father the Reverend (Javon Johnson) is the preacher at, asking to be saved from the "demons and clowns and monkeys" and stuff that were chasing her. Aday comes out and tells Madea and the others that it was all just a prank that the frat boys were pulling and that none of it was real. Madea then decides to have some "hullerween" fun of her own by pulling a fast one on the boys. The film ends with a positive message about love, trust, and respect, and Madea running from "the po po".

You are in for a fun time and a good belly laugh. I hope you all take time to get out to see this great movie that is sure to become a family holiday classic.