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Hamsters vs. Hippos
Hamsters vs. Hippos
2021 | Animals
Deeply consider this question: what is your natural predator? We are the top of the food chain, right? Right? And what we all learned in school is that some animals are herbivores, some are carnivores, and some are omnivores. At least in the Midwest, that’s what we were taught. Now, I don’t remember ever being taught that hippopotamuses (hippopotami?) eat anything other than grass. However, I have been wrong so many times in my life that I am interested to find out why they would snack on fleeing hamsters. Perhaps a board game can help me!

Hamsters vs. Hippos is a press-your-luck tile flipping game where players are cute little hamsterinos escaping the zoo and nearing freedom. However, along the way they must traverse the hippo enclosure. Typically hippos only eat grass, but in this game universe they are attracted to the delectable little rodents and are as hangry as my kids after a day at the playground. The hamster who can collect the most lotus flowers from the hippo lily pads at the end of the game will be the winner and be able to escape the zoo in peace. All other players will be snacked.

DISCLAIMER: We were provided a copy of this game for the purposes of this review. This is a retail copy of the game, so what you see in these photos is exactly what would be received in your box. I do not intend to cover every single rule included in the rulebook, but will describe the overall game flow and major rule set so that our readers may get a sense of how the game plays. For more in depth rules, you may purchase a copy online or from your FLGS. -T


To setup, determine the appropriate grid size for the number of players per the rulebook. Shuffle all the lily pad tiles face-down, place them in the grid, then place upon them nine lotus flower tokens. Each player will select their hamsteeple and mat and the game may now begin!
Hamsters vs. Hippos is played over four rounds and each turn players will have two actions they must complete. For the first action, each hamster must move onto the grid to explore a face-down tile, or explore another face-down tile if already on the grid. For the second action the hamster may continue exploring new tiles or be taken off the grid to score their collected lotus flowers. Movement can be orthogonally or diagonally, but every time they move, the hamsters must move to an unexplored tile. Flipping these tiles will reveal empty lily pads, some special actions to be taken, lotus flowers to be collected, or hippos that end the hamster’s round and makes the hamster forfeit their collected lotus flowers this round.


The game continues in this fashion over four rounds where hamsters are moving onto and off the grid, moving around the grid, collecting flowers, and possibly being eaten. At the end of the fourth round players total their lotus flowers they were able to keep and the hamster with the most lotus flowers wins!
Components. This one is easy. This game is a bunch of lily pad tiles, some cardstock player mats, wooden lotus flower tokens, and cute little hamsteeples. The tiles are good quality, the player mats are big and nice, and the hamsteeples are precious. I enjoy the lighthearted art style quite a bit – even the angry-looking hippo tiles. My only issue lies with the lotus flower tokens. They are very thin painted wooden tokens in two colors – pastel pink (worth 1 VP)and slightly darker pastel purple (worth 3 VP). I am not colorblind, but I like to make mention of items I would think are not colorblind friendly. The difference in color is not great enough, even for me of acceptable color differentiation. Another thing about these is they are very thin and delicate. Normally this isn’t an issue for me, but this is clearly a game my children want to play. When they play this with me I am always holding my breath just waiting for them to break a lotus flower. It hasn’t happened yet, but I might see about adding sturdier components to my copy when I play with little ones.

Game play is very very light. This is purely a press-your-luck game of deciding to move to a tile, flipping it over, and hoping for the best. There are a few special action tiles that can help mitigate the luck factor a little, but most of the time it’s a leap before you look scenario. That may turn off a large faction of gamers, but I will be playing this primarily with my children (who are nowhere near the suggested age of 8+). I could have reviewed this under our Kids Table series, but it doesn’t seem to be marketed specifically to children. As a game for adults, this is novelty at best, but for children it’s a decent press-your-luck style game. Purple Phoenix Games gives this one a 4 / 6, but only because it works so well with kids. If I didn’t have children I couldn’t see myself playing it a whole lot at all. Consider this when you look at the amazing cover art and intriguing theme. It’s good for what it is, but will not be for all collections and play groups.
  
A Gentle Rain
A Gentle Rain
2021 | Puzzle
“Take a deep breath and relax…” These words greet you as you open the box for A Gentle Rain, and they certainly set the tone for some cathartic experience. Such was the case when upon opening a mystery mailer I found a copy of A Gentle Rain. I had no idea it was coming to me, but it came, I played it, and it did indeed set my soul at ease for the 30 minutes I spent playing several games of it. Mystery games are always good, right? Even when they are bad? But how was this little soothing surprise?

A Gentle Rain is a solo tile placement puzzle game. In it the player is attempting to help eight lily varieties to bloom during a rain shower. This magnificent experience sets alight the spirit of the player and transports them to a new level of zen. Or they simply win the game. It just depends how into it one likes to be.

DISCLAIMER: We were provided a copy of this game for the purposes of this review. This is a retail copy of the game (I think), so what you see in these photos is probably what would be received in your box. I do not intend to cover every single rule included in the rulebook, but will describe the overall game flow and major rule set so that our readers may get a sense of how the game plays. For more in depth rules, you may purchase a copy online or from your FLGS. -T


To setup A Gentle Rain, gently place on the table the eight blossom tokens. Near these place the shuffled stack of lake tiles, face-down. Flip over the top lake tile and place it on the table in whichever orientation your heart desires. You may now begin your tour of the lake.
On a turn the player will draw a tile from the top of the lake tile stack and attempt to place it on the table, joining a matching straight side to an existing lake tile on the table. As more and more lake tiles are revealed and placed the player may notice a group of four adjoining tiles forming a square. Once this is achieved the player may choose one of the completed lilies showing in this completed square and place a related blossom token in the created circular space. Placing the tokens allow this type of lily to bloom and nurture the player’s natural essence. Should a drawn tile have no space to occupy, it will be safely discarded and allowed to watch the magical spectacle unfold before it.


The lake journey continues in this fashion until either all blossom tokens have been placed in their respective safe spaces or all lake tiles have been drawn and placed or discarded. The player will count all blossom tokens placed for their final score, and if all eight blossom tokens were placed, will also add the number of lake tiles remaining with their brethren in the draw stack. These scores represent the level of enlightenment achieved by strolling near the lake to take in its beauty.
Components. This game is comprised of eight blossom tokens and a bunch of lake tiles in a small box. The lake tiles are all different and feature different lily semi-circles on the edges. They are thick enough to withstand multiple multiple plays and feature incredibly serene artwork. Similarly, the blossom tokens contain beautiful lily depictions upon painted wooden discs. The components in this game are high quality, and suited for addicted gamers’ need for play after play.

Again, I was surprised, not only by simply receiving the game out of the blue with no prior notification, but also by how much I truly enjoy playing this. The rulebook suggests pouring a cup of tea or other soothing beverage (chai is by far my favorite, with Earl Grey several leagues behind), and I certainly follow rulebooks’ suggestions every chance I get. What I was given here is a wonderful solo experience that I will absolutely be rewarding myself with many times in the future.

The puzzly bits of the game are not at all frustrating, as some puzzle games can be, but you truly feel bad for the lilies that you were unable to find a suitable match for it so it can bloom and display its beauty. And when a blossom token is finally placed, I found that I smiled a bit and wished the blossom a nurturing rain shower. Now, of course I have been using flowery words mostly in jest, but truthfully, this game does put one’s mind at ease for a spell. I have been slightly more stressed than normal lately and for some reason this game was EXACTLY what I needed at this point in my life. Destiny? Perhaps. Extremely lucky coincidence? Perhaps that is the same thing…

If you are a fan of puzzle games that can be played solo and that are addicting, then you must take a look at A Gentle Rain. I believe every gamer can appreciate the theme and artwork, and the design is so refreshing and simple. I will be treasuring this little gem for a very long time, and its small footprint makes it a near perfect travel companion. I give this one a very high recommendation for ALL gamer types and ages. Go find a copy today!
  
Flightless Falcon
Flightless Falcon
Mickey Zucker Reichert | 2000 | Science Fiction/Fantasy
7
7.0 (1 Ratings)
Book Rating
Shelf Life – Flightless Falcon Still Glides Pretty Well
Flightless Falcon is a light DAW fantasy by Mickey Zucker Reichert that first came out in paperback in July of 2001. Set in your typical fantasy land – lightly coated in magic but sans any fantastical creatures such as dragons, elves, dwarves, and the like – it follows the sad, luckless exploits of an ex-miner named Tamison made useless after a cave in kills his father and brother and leaves him trapped deep in the mine for a few days.

Afterwards, with a debilitating fear of both the dark and being underground, he’s unable to continue as a miner, yet too unskilled to get any other job. As such, he and his family live in dirt poverty for a decade or so until he finally decides to try stealing what they need instead of earning the money to buy it. Unfortunately he’s just as horrible at this as anything else he tries and ends up in jail for two years.

When he finally gets out, his family’s disappeared, so he adopts a stray dog and lives on the streets for a while. Then one day a guard finds him and tells him, “Hey, I know where your family is, and it’s bad, man, we should go save ’em.” So Tamison saves a fortune teller from some different guards, just for good measure, and the three of them go off to get his family back.

The plot evolves from there – I won’t go into much greater detail because I don’t want to give anything away. And while it’s an entertaining read, it does have its share of snags, though not often or strong enough to derail the overall experience. Still, might was well talk about ’em.

The majority of these moments occur due to the protagonist himself; Tamison’s constant suffering and depression and worthlessness gets a bit irritating after a while (and not a very long while). But you do end up genuinely sympathizing with him, at least for the most part – his self-pitying and constant sobbing are offset, personality-wise, by his intense love and devotion to his family’s welfare (though apparently it still isn’t strong enough for him to suck up his phobia and go back to working in the mines). The end result is a character that, while whiny enough that you want to reach into the pages and smack him, is still believable. The fact that a lot of his misfortune is brought on by bad luck and the overwhelming apathy of the world around him, instead of just his own sad uselessness, also helps save what might have been an otherwise excruciatingly sad-sack protagonist.

But ignore what Miss Reichert and the back cover of the book say – the real star of this story isn’t Tamison, the guard (Dallan), or the fortune teller (Rifkah). It’s the weasely bastard of a con man that Tamison can’t stop running into, the aptly-named Con. This guy’s selfish lack of a moral compass and unwillingness to sugarcoat anything for anyone is a breath of fresh air amidst the hopeful optimism and general boyscout do-goodery of the rest of the starring party, and his quick wit and blunt, sarcastic dialogue are at once impressive and entertaining to read in the circumstances. His back story’s also far more interesting than anything Tamison, Dallan, and Rifkah can come up with.

The story itself also grows past a simple “save some good guys from some bad guys” fetch quest to envelope a degree of political intrigue, subterfuge, loyalty dilemmas, and good ol’ fashion backstabbery. I won’t say anything more past the obvious (there’s a twist, you know there’s gonna be a twist, there’s always a twist) other than to say that the generic good-guy-bad-guy feeling the book’s own synopsis offers slips slowly into a more realistic, more satisfying realm of uncertain grayness that accompanies all conflicts between the world’s two rival governments, the one Tamison belongs to and the one he’s told is harboring his missing family.

Basically, each time you think this book is going to march the plot or one of the characters into Generic Land (and you will occasionally think this multiple times), the direction skews off at the last moment to surprise you. The result is that you end up reading the book in two minds: one for soaking up the story and being entertained, and one with a critical eye turned always on the author’s style, to see where it threatens to stray into unimpressiveness and how it keeps saving itself.

But don’t focus overly much on my criticisms – that’s just how I’ve been trained to talk about good writing, to search for the roughest spots and pick at them in order to see how the whole thing might be polished even more. The reason this book is so easy to criticize is because its weak spots are few and manageable and therefor easy to cover and be done with in the length of a blog post. The overall impression I came away with is still one of a fun, thoughtful, imaginative tale, at times suspenseful, at times moving, and always deeply visual. I didn’t mention the detailed visual descriptions did I? Oh well, I just did. Now you know they’re there.

It’s not going to turn into the next blockbuster fantasy franchise, but if you find it in your used book store, there are less-enjoyable ways to spend your reading time. I recommend Flightless Falcon to anyone who enjoys well-written, character-driven fantasy and doesn’t need it to last through a dozen sequels.
  
Ready Player One (2018)
Ready Player One (2018)
2018 | Sci-Fi
The Visuals (0 more)
Some big differences to the book (0 more)
A dazzling, geeky feast for the eyes!
I don't really do books. In the last twenty years or so, I've probably only read one book from start to finish, and that book was Ready Player One. And I absolutely loved it, reading it pretty much non stop until I'd completed it. As anyone else who has read the book knows, there's a hell of a lot in there for someone to try and incorporate into any movie adaptation that gets undertaken, not to mention all the rights needing to be obtained for the vast wealth of famous characters, movies and video games that it features and recreates in such intricate geeky detail. Steven Spielberg is probably about a good a choice as any for tackling something like this though, and to say I was excited heading in to the preview screening of this would be a serious understatement.

The movie covers a lot of detail up front in a fairly brisk, but very effective introduction in order to set the scene. It's 2045, and our hero is Wade Watts, living high up in 'The Stacks', towers of trailers crudely stacked and held up together by metal beams in a densely populated urban area of Columbus. As Wade descends from his home, he passes his neighbours, many of whom are wearing some kind of VR headsets, involved in different kinds of online activity that we can't see. Wade tells us that at some point in the past people just stopped trying to fix lifes problems and learnt to just live with them instead. And to make things easier, they have the OASIS. The virtual world that his neighbours, and billions of people around the world, all connect to in order to escape the daily grind of the real world. In the OASIS you can be anyone you want to be, do anything you want to do. There are different worlds you can visit, and coins to be earned in order to upgrade your experience. Wade has all his equipment for connecting to the OASIS hidden away among the nearby piles of scrap cars, and when he puts on his headset, we are introduced to his online avatar, Parzival. He tells us about James Halliday, creator of the OASIS, who died five years ago. He left behind a message, informing the world that within the OASIS he'd hidden an Easter egg. Anyone who could find the three keys needed to unlock the door to that Easter egg, would inherit his entire fortune, and gain complete control of the OASIS. Since then, nobody has even got their hands on the first key. Nobody has their name up on the high score board. So... Ready Player One...

And so it kicks off, in dazzlingly glorious fashion, with a crazy multi-vehicle race through New York city in order to get to the finish line and grab the first key. It's like Mario Kart on steroids, with jumps and hazards throughout. Wrecking balls smashing the road, a T-Rex causing havoc and Kong jumping from building to building, smashing things up and taking players out of the game. But nobody can make it to the finish line. It's a fantastic, dizzy assault on the senses, and the first of many scenes where you find yourself frantically scouring the screen to see how many famous cars and characters you can spot. Parzival himself is driving a DeLorean, obviously. We're also introduced to fellow racer, and legend within the OASIS, Art3mis, who after being rescued by Parzival, becomes a close friend. Along with Art3mis, Parzival has a number of other close friends within the OASIS - Aech, Daito and Shoto, none of whom he has met in real life. As Parzival finds the first key, and begins sharing that knowledge with his friends in order to work together for the rest of the keys, they become known as the High Five, in recognition of their names being top of the scoreboard.

The bad guy of the movie is Nolan Sorrento, who used to work for Halliday. He, along with his army of employees, are out to try and take over the OASIS for monetary gain and will do whatever it takes in order to make that happen. When Sorrento discovers the real world identity of Parzival, things begin to get very difficult for the High Five who now have to struggle to not only find the keys first, but also evade capture in the real world.

I don't remember all of the details from the book, so I can't comment too much on what's been missed. But I do know that the puzzles surrounding the keys differ in the movie from those in the book. There are also some pretty big elements which don't feature in the book at all, but the main thing for me was that the overall spirit of the book definitely carries over to the movie. There is some occasional second half drag, but that's inevitable when there are so many prolonged moments of eye-popping visuals on display in-between. One thing I do remember well from the book is the final act, where Wade calls upon an army of OASIS users to help him and the high five fight Sorrento and his army in order to gain access to the final key. It's something I always imagined while reading as being absolutely epic if it were ever to be recreated on screen. Luckily, it is. Wow, just wow!! And once again, like with much of this movie overall, I sat there, wide eyed and with a big gormless geeky grin on my face.
  
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Purple Phoenix Games (2266 KP) rated Dice Town in Tabletop Games

Aug 13, 2019 (Updated Jun 24, 2021)  
Dice Town
Dice Town
2009 | American West, Dice Game
Hoo doggie! That’s definitely what we say in the 1800s Wild West! Yeuuuup, it’s time to take over this here town and call it ours. What are you waitin’ fer? If you ain’t helpin’ me, then you ken giiiiiiit out. This here’s mine now, just gotta… convince the people. *whistles at a horse to giddyup*


Dice Town is a rootin’-tootin’ dice chuckin’ game relying heavily on poker and card majority. Each player is trying to gain the most money, gold nuggets, and property cards to beef up their VP totals once the game ends to become the baddest dude in the West.
To setup, place the town board in the middle of the table and populate its different areas with their components: the Gold Mine receives all the gold nuggets, the Bank receives $3 initially, the General Store receives all the cards of its deck with three property cards will be displayed next to Town Hall, and Doc Badluck will receive its deck with two cards displayed. Each player will receive a dice cup, five dice, and $8 to start. The youngest player received the Sheriff badge card and the game may begin!

Turns are taken simultaneously among all players. Players will roll their dice using the dice cup and choose one result to keep. They may keep more dice by paying $1 for each die kept, or they may pay $1 to keep zero dice and try again. Players are attempting to roll the best poker hand during these turns to set themselves up for the next phase of the game – actions.

Once all players are finished keeping dice and building poker hands, they move to the actions phase. Beginning with the Gold Mine and moving left to right, each area of town will be resolved based on the players’ results. The player with the most 9s rolled will take nuggets from the Gold Mine equal to the number of 9s rolled. The player with the most 10s will take the money at the bank. Most Jacks will draw General Store cards (that can mess with other players or help the holder) equal to the number of Jacks rolled and choose one card to keep. The most Queens will summon a lady at the Saloon to help steal any General Store or property card from another player. Most Kings will be the new Sheriff in town and will break all ties (and also can be bribed). Whomever was able to build the best poker hand will be able to claim the property card at the bottom of the display and one additional property for each Ace rolled. Finally, if a player was not able to win anything up to this point, they will be able to claim a card from Doc Badluck which can be very powerful.


Play continues in this fashion until either the supply of gold nuggets has run dry or all of the property cards have been doled out. Players will score VPs for nuggets, certain General Store cards, one VP per $2 cash, $5 from being Sheriff at the game end, and VP printed on property cards owned. Once the winner is determined, that player must now challenge the losing players to a duel at high noon. Or just gloat a lot.
Components. As you can see in the photos, the component quality is excellent, as with most Matagot titles. The dice cups are sturdy plastic, the embossed poker dice are awesome, the gold nuggets are great as well! I like the quirky cartoony art style. What I do not like about Dice Town components are the cards. They are super glossy, and that’s heck for taking photos and I just don’t enjoy the feel of them as much as the nice linen-finishes. It doesn’t break the game for me or make me enjoy playing it less, I just prefer other types of finishes on cards.

I really like Dice Town. I have always had a great time when playing, and I have even acquired it twice now. I sold my first edition copy via a BGG auction (I was addicted to auctions several years back) and missed it, so I was able to grab a second edition copy last year. I haven’t regretted reacquiring it and though I rated it a 4 I don’t see this ever leaving my collection again. I love the American West theme, and I love the way the dice cups feel and sound as players are slamming them on the table. But also I hate the way the dice cups sound as players are slamming them on the table when my children are trying to sleep or without some type of buffer material between the cups and a hard table top.

The second edition printing is definitely the way to go when deciding whether to purchase Dice Town. Everything is upgraded, and the rules have been tweaked a bit for the better. I don’t really know why I like American West in my board games so much because I can’t stand Western style movies or books, but I can’t get enough of them in my games. If you and I share preferences on games and themes and components, try to grab a copy of Dice Town. You will certain like it quite a bit. We do. Purple Phoenix Games give this one a 12 / 18. While that doesn’t seem like a great score, we would rather have access to it than not. And with so many games out there, earning a place on my shelf is a big deal for a game. So enjoy!
  
Revolution!
Revolution!
2009 | Bluff, Deduction, Political
My wife is not able to play games with me as much as either of us would like. We have kids, dogs, and other life responsibilities that limit our gaming time together. However, if there ever was a game that she loves to play and absolutely has figured out, it’s Revolution! by Steve Jackson Games (yes, the Munchkin Man). So that’s why I am including her guest score on this review. She seems to like it an awful lot.

Revolution! is an area control bidding game of influencing kingdom inhabitants to jockey for a superior position of power to win the game. The key is influencing the right people at the right time to gain resources, influence in the kingdom, and support (VPs).

DISCLAIMER – We are using the expansion “The Palace” along with our review as it add components to play with up to 6 people, and our game nights tend toward 6 players more than 4. The base game alone plays up to 4 players and uses 4 fewer characters to influence. Should we add in the “Anarchy” expansion we will either add that information here or link to the review from here. -T

To setup, place the main kingdom board on the table that outlines the different districts in which the players will be vying for majority influence. Each player chooses a color and receives all color-matched components: player reference screen, cubes, disc, and one bid board (which are all identical). Each player will also receive one Force token (red fist), Blackmail token (black envelope), and three Gold tokens (gold coins). You are now ready to begin.

Turns are taken simultaneously. Players will place tokens on their bid boards to denote which type of influence they plan to exert on an inhabitant and how many of each. For instance, you may place all your coins on the General and hope you win. Or maybe you want to place a coin and a blackmail on the Printer. Once all players have placed their influence on their boards, the privacy screens are lifted and each kingdom character is compared individually, one by one. Did your three Coins on the General fly, or did someone add a Blackmail token and prevail? Wait, one Blackmail wins? Yes, in Revolution! the gold Coins are the lowest value influence. So one Blackmail alone is enough to win against ANY NUMBER of Coins. Now, one Blackmail alone is defeated by one Blackmail and one Coin, but simply one Force would beat both of those attempts, as Force is the most powerful token type, but not all inhabitants are affected by Force. Take your General for example. Their color on the bid board is red, meaning that a red token will have no effect here. Once the winners of each kingdom person have been determined, the winners receive the benefits offered by each character. I will not go into detail the benefits each character gives you, but for an example (shown below on the play pic), the General awards the winner with one Support (VP), one Force (fist token), and you may place an influence cube in the Fortress. Before the next turn, each player will check their token collection and anyone who has less than five tokens will receive a number of Coins to bring their collection to five tokens.

As the bidding phase gains you resources for future rounds, or instant Support, etc, the second half of a round is influencing the different districts within the kingdom. You do this placing your won cubes on any space within a specific district to attempt majority control of it. At the end of the game, the players with majority control of each district will receive Support for the districts that correspond with what is printed on the board. These are VERY important as you can amass tons of Support from district majorities. The game continues in this fashion for a number of rounds until all influence spaces on the main kingdom board are full. Players then check for majority in each district and apply Support on the VP track. The player with the most Support at the end of the game is the winner! (It will be Kristin.)

Components. This is a heavy game, not in complexity, but in component weight. The boards are all of great quality, the cardboard tokens are nice, the wooden cubes are typical quality. The art on the game is good, if dated, but good. I have no complaints about the components.

As you can see from our scores at the top, we REALLY like this game. As one of the highest ranking games on BGG from Steve Jackson Games, this one delivers a great time of double thinking, bluffing your neighbors, and certainly rewards players for their great strategy. We used to play this game ALL THE TIME until it became futile playing against my wife. She is that good. At one point I thought I had her strategy figured out, but I have since lost it. However, I am always eager to play this and try again. One of these days I will claim victory. Revolution! could definitely stand an update, or re-theme, or something along with a reprint to bring it into more homes, but I am glad I have a copy (with all the expansions *shoulder brush*) and it will not be leaving my collection any time soon. That’s a mark of a great game, and that’s partly why Purple Phoenix Games gives this one a close-to-a-Golden-Feather-Award-recipient 23 / 24. If you see one in the wild, pick it up!
  
Goblin Teeth
Goblin Teeth
2020 | Card Game, Dice Game, Fantasy, Humor
You know a game is going to be great when you actually enjoy reading the rules. Please take a moment to consider what I just wrote. I *enjoyed* reading the rules to a game. To this game. Why? Well, the intro to the rules that introduces the setting of the game, is written in the voice of a goblin. For those of you who may uninitiated into fantasy lore, goblins are small, gross humanoids that are greedy and not at all known for their academic prowess. Ok, so the rules started out pretty entertaining. Did this set us up for an entertaining game or a boring slug… er, slog? I have high expectations from Jellybean Games now, so will this be a winner as well?

Goblin Teeth is a fantasy take-that, auction, set collection, dice and card game. Each player is a goblin attempting to impress the goblin boss enough to become the right hand gobbie by offering a collection of items that the boss enjoys.

DISCLAIMER: We were provided a prototype copy of this game for the purposes of this review. As this is a preview copy of the game, I do not know if the final rules or components will be similar or different to what we were provided. -T

To setup, create the offering mat by randomly drawing a red and blue offering card to be placed in their respective locations. Shuffle the Cheat cards and Item cards into separate decks. Each goblin player chooses a set of three matching dice they will use throughout the game. Give each goblin one Cheat card to begin their collection. From the Item cards, place as many Items face-up as the number of players and one more face-down at the end of the row near where the sacrifice altar will be placed. You now have your offer row for the first round and are ready to play.

Before the round begins, all players will roll all three of their dice simultaneously. These dice represent your bid amounts for the Item cards on display (including the face-down Item). Whomever is in possession of the first-player marker will take their turn first. This goblin may choose to play any number of Cheat cards in their hand, and then must place a die on an Item card or into the altar. These Item cards feature items to be collected and used to satisfy an Offering card – like skulls, goblin teeth, glow worms, and others. By placing a die on an Item card, a goblin is casting their bid. By placing a die into the sacrificing altar, the goblin is instead giving up a bid die in exchange for drawing a Cheat card (which can be very powerful). Once the die is placed, the next goblin in clockwise order can take their turn following the same order of operations. The goblin who wins the face-down Item card becomes the new first player and receives the first player token. A new round can now begin by laying out new Items and rolling all dice simultaneously.

The game continues in this fashion until one sneaky goblin has all the Items they need to satisfy one of the Offering cards (or the pre-printed space on the Offering mat). There are dice placement rules and Cheats-a-plenty that I did not describe at all, but per the disclaimer, you can back the game or purchase from your favorite board game retailer (naturally, your FLGS). All goblins then tear each other to shreds over jealousy and greed. Ok, I added that last bit myself, but it should go into the rules. Just sayin’.

Components. Again, this is a prototype version of the game and some components may (and probably will) change over the course of a successful Kickstarter campaign. That said, I will comment on what I can here. The physical components themselves are fine for a prototype game. The cards are big tarot cards that are fun to handle. I hope they keep that size. The first player token in this is a green translucent plastic meeple that I’m sure they will be upgrading during the campaign. Similarly, the dice will more than likely see an upgrade (I am totally projecting here, I have no information on any future plans for components). What needs very little upgrading is the art on the cards. The card backs for the Cheat and Item cards feature an excellent logo (I hope) for the game, and the art on the Item cards are clear and really really good. I hope the art style doesn’t change as the art is amazing here. The Cheat cards look good, are clear, and although they feature several different fonts, I was not at all ever turned off by the presentation.

So here are my thoughts. Goblin Teeth is an excellent game of outbidding your opponents, double-think, and Cheating your way to victory! I absolutely adore this game. Without those Cheat cards it would still be decent, but those Cheats are what make this game special. Being able to play as many Cheat cards as you want on your turn, with some of them being good and some bad, but being able to place them on yourself or your opponents is just gold. I cannot wait to see this game go to Kickstarter and just kill it. Seriously, it’s an amusing, frustrating, beautiful game that I cannot wait to own in its full glory. If you enjoy experiences that pit you against your opponents and you find yourself giggling at thwarting their plans, this is the game for you.
  
Beatdown: Streets of Justice
Beatdown: Streets of Justice
2019 | Card Game, Comic Book / Strip, Fighting
Ever wanted to be a street level thug? Or the hero that fights said thugs? I haven’t really. But! I did used to love playing the Street Fighter games growing up. Now, you cannot Hadouken in real life (right?) and take out E. Honda, but you CAN fight thugs in the street… if you really wanted. You know what? I’m just gonna stick to fighting via card play. Wanna help?

Beatdown: Streets of Justice is a cooperative, push-your-luck, fighting card game that pits you and your team of heroes against waves of thugs and a boss fight. As it is cooperative, the players win by beating the boss (typically in the third wave of fights), or lose by being all knocked out. Silly heroes.

DISCLAIMER: We were provided a copy of this game for the purposes of this review. This is a retail copy of the game, so what you see in these photos is exactly what would be received in your box. I do not intend to cover every single rule included in the rulebook, but will describe the overall game flow and major rule set so that our readers may get a sense of how the game plays. For more in depth rules, you may purchase a copy online or from your FLGS. -T

To setup, each player takes a player mat, chooses a hero to play, and takes the dice of matching color to use during the game. Shuffle all the different decks of cards and place them on the table within easy reach of all players. The Attacks deck will include the base attack cards plus all cards that match the players in the game (like Invicta’s attack cards if she is in the game). Place tiny clear cubes on your starting health, as well as the starting health for the thugs you will be fighting in Wave 1, and you are ready to play!

Beatdown: Streets of Justice (or just Beatdown from now on) is played over three waves of fights where the heroes will play cards and do their fighting and then the bad guys will take their turns to fight. Generally, play will go like this: on a player’s turn they will play a card from their hand or one blindly from the top of the Attack deck. This is the opening to their “combo.” The Attack cards will typically have a damage amount and a combo rating number. In order to play more cards to the combo, the player will need to roll their d10 and roll a number equal to or higher than their accumulated combo rating (the little numbers showing in the green arrows of cards played + the green arrow number on the hero card). A combo can continue as long as the player can roll higher than their combo rating, but a failed roll doesn’t necessarily mean c-c-c-combo breaker, but rather that the hero has left themselves open for attack by the thugs. I won’t go into any more detail on fighting, as the rules are a little complex and I will let you discover those for yourselves.

After the heroes have taken all their turns, if thugs are still on the battlefield, they will now take their fighting turns. Flip over an Enemy Attack card from the deck for each enemy and resolve it against the heroes. Each baddie will make their attacks and if heroes are still conscious another round of the wave will begin. New thugs do not enter play, as they only populate at the beginning of a Wave. The thugs are no joke, and the bosses are even rougher. Can you be defeated? Yes. I was defeated in my first game. Can you be revived? Yes. Between Waves the players can participate in a Shopping Phase where they can use trophies (the cards of enemies they have defeated) to purchase health back, revive a fallen hero, or purchase a revealed Loot card to help in future fights. Play continues in this fashion for three Waves until the heroes complete the Boss Wave (by defeating all enemies) or all the heroes are knocked out.

Components. I have some good news and bad news here. Good news first. The dice are great. The tiny clear cubes are… tiny and clear. And they are just fine. The cards are good quality, as are the cardboard mats and tokens. The card layout is good too. The bad news: the rulebook is a little confusing for the first couple read-throughs and the art style does nothing for me. I appreciate the way the rules are very informal and make several chuckle-worthy jokes, but I feel like it could flow different and more efficiently. Similarly, in an industry where art can really make a good game great, this one is lacking. It’s really a shame, because everything else about the game is really good quality. The iconography is… fine, but the character art in-game is an issue I have with this.

Beatdown is actually a really decent game once you are playing. The rulebook needs work, and the art needs an update, but those grievances aside, Beatdown is an enjoyable experience at the table. I usually play pretty conservatively in push-your-luck games, but I went all out with this one and was more often than not rewarded handsomely for it. If your group enjoys cooperative, push-your-luck, fighting, card games give this one a look. Just don’t pay attention to the character art. This all said Purple Phoenix Games gives this one a 6 / 12. Improve the rulebook and art and that rating improves.
  
Of Knights & Ninjas
Of Knights & Ninjas
2020 | Card Game, Medieval
Little-known factoid about me: I am a Knight. Not from England, and not due to my daring heroics in war, but a Knight Templar of the Grand Commandery in the York Rite of Freemasonry. Politics and conspiracy theories aside, becoming a Knight was a highlight of my life, and something I will forever treasure. And speaking of treasure and Knights Templar (read your history, kids), we all know that one of the biggest foes of the Knights in olden times were the nefarious Ninjas. Or maybe it’s just fun to think about and play a game where these factions are represented.

Of Knights & Ninjas is a card game about claiming enough treasure to ascend to kinghood and rule all the lands. You can accomplish this by sending forces to your opponents’ realms and stealing their glorious gems. The first lord to amass 10 gems will have sufficient wealth to assume the kinghood and rule all realms!

DISCLAIMER: We were provided a prototype copy of this game for the purposes of this review. These are preview copy components, and the final components may be different from these shown. Also, it is not my intention to detail every rule in the game, but to give our readers an idea of how the game plays. If you would like to read the rulebook in full, you may visit the publisher’s website, purchase the game through the publisher, back the game through the Kickstarter campaign, or through any retailers stocking it after fulfillment. -T

To setup, each player will take five gems of their preferred color in front of them. Shuffle the large deck of cards, and deal each player four cards (this rule was updated after our play-throughs). You are now ready to play!

On your turn, you will draw two cards from the deck (unless it’s the first draw of the game – that player will draw just one). You must now play a card to the table or discard a card from your hand. Cards that you can play from your hand will each have different abilities, and thankfully the designer will be providing a reference sheet for these, as there are many cards with wildly different abilities. This is also why I will not be explaining the entire rulebook.

Typically you will be able to play Fortify cards (castles, archers), Attack cards (knights, ninjas, etc), Respond cards, and Special cards (minstrels, jesters, etc). Fortify cards protect your gems from certain Attack cards, like an Archer only being able to attack another Archer, or a Dragon being able to attack a Castle – but not if an Archer is stationed there (logic). Although, a Ninja can scale a Castle wall, and a Catapult can destroy a Castle altogether (but not that pesky Archer that happens to be sitting on top)…

Attack cards are just that: they Attack. Each Attack card will show a number in a starburst icon in the upper right hand corner that signifies how many gems they are able to steal. Once an opponent is declared and an Attack card played, let’s say a 1-power Peasant, the defender may then play a card with the Respond keyword (which will also have a starburst number) to offset the number of stolen gems. If the attacker chooses, they may continue playing Attack cards against the same opponent in order to draw out all the Respond cards and come away with some sweet, sweet gems.

But maybe once all is said and done, and gems are about to change hands, another opponent plays a Special card – a Highwayman, for example. These characters will steal all the gems that are about to change hands (as if he was robbing the gem carriage en route to the new owner). But then again, perhaps yet ANOTHER opponent plays a Highwayman as well, and steals those gems a second time! You just never know when these Special cards will come out and how they may affect the best laid plans.

Play continues in this fashion until one player has amassed the 10 gems they require to win the game!

Components. Again, we were provided a prototype copy of this game, and we understand that components can change during the course of a successful Kickstarter campaign. That said, this game is a ton of cards and some plastic gem pieces. The art is stellar – cartoony, but whimsical and fun. The card layouts make sense and are very easy to read and understand. The gems are colorful and fun to play with. I only have one concern/suggestion/wish for the components here. I wish the individual card’s abilities were somehow printed on the cards themselves. That would alleviate the need for a reference sheet, but it would then detract from the cute art on the cards. So, maybe that wouldn’t be so great after all. I’m torn on that.

All in all, this game is super fun to play. It will be chaotic one moment, and strategically tense the next. Being able to whittle an opponent’s hand down to nothing and then slapping them with a King card to steal a huge chunk of gems is just so sneakily satisfying. Or sending your Ninja to infiltrate their unArchered (I know it’s not a word) Castle and slither away with the goods. Don’t get too attached to your gems, because you may find yourself without for several rounds. You can always rebuild, but make haste as your opponents will keep you down if you let them.

If you are a fan of games that are cute, fun, and relatively quick with a quirky, but light-hearted theme, then definitely check this one out.
  
Cooking Customers
Cooking Customers
2019 | Card Game
Raise your hand if you have ever worked in the food industry. Okay, I see a few hands. Now raise your hand if you have ever been so torqued by a customer that you wanted to cook them in a pie. Oh, thanks for your hand Mrs. Lovett. Good to know. Well this game is an experience of getting your money and getting out. Fastest one to do so will win, and if you have to stew a few eyeballs in the process, more power to you.

DISCLAIMER: We were provided a copy of this game for the purposes of this review. This is a retail copy of the game, so what you see in these photos is exactly what would be received in your box. I do not intend to cover every single rule included in the rulebook, but will describe the overall game flow and major rule set so that our readers may get a sense of how the game plays. For more in depth rules, you may purchase a copy online or from your FLGS. -T

Cooking Customers is a card and dice game where the first player to amass $20 in “tips” will be crowned the winner. Players earn tips by serving enough meals to customers at each table. Players can receive meals by rolling them on dice, or by card manipulation. Let me explain.

To setup, place the meals (black discs) in the middle of the table for all to reach. Similarly, place all the dice nearby. These dice have three sides: FIRED, MEAL, and a blank side. Shuffle the mighty deck of cards and deal five to each player, placing the rest of the deck in the middle of the table. Finally, shuffle the Table cards and place somewhere near the other components. Players are now ready to begin!

On a player’s turn, they will first draw the topmost Table card to be placed in front of themselves. This card will show how many meals need to be served to it to be satisfied and earn tips. The Table cards will mostly just sit there in front of players collecting meal discs for the game’s duration. Once a Table card is drawn (and only one Table per player, please) the active player may then play cards from hand. A player may play one or two cards, but only one card may be played to the active player’s tableau, and only one card may be played on an opponent. Should a player not wish to play a card to anyone’s tableau, they must discard a card to the middle of the table. Then the active player will draw back to the hand size of five cards.

Cards played to other players are usually bad, Munchkin-esque cards that halt progression or just cause mayhem for their designs. I will not go into detail on these, as half the fun of this game is the Take-That of these cards. Cards played to a player’s own tableau can be a myriad choices: Cooks, Helpers, Kitchen Supplies, etc. The most important are the Cook cards. A player will need to have a Cook “hired” in front of them in order to participate in the next phase of the game: rolling dice. Players can have Helper cards (sous chefs) and Kitchen Supplies active without a Cook, but the player may not roll dice or serve meals without a Cook. Cooks and Helpers will dictate how many dice are rolled in the next phase of a turn, and rolling more dice is always better.

Once all cards have been played on a player’s turn, they may now roll the dice (though for a game with such a dark theme I say we use the “Roll Them Bones” colloquialism). When the dice are rolled, players are hoping for MEAL to show up on all dice. This is how a meal can be collected and served to the Table cards. However, if at any time all dice read FIRED then the player’s Cook is fired and they may not continue rolling dice. The Cook is discarded and play is forfeited to the next player. #cheflife amirite?

Once a Table card has all the meals it needs to be satisfied, the player may score it by flipping it over to reveal the amount in tips they have earned. Play continues in this fashion until one player has earned $20 in tips. They can then taunt the other players with their superiority.

Components. Cooking Customers is a BUNCH of cards, some painted wooden discs, and some embossed dice. The cards are good quality, the discs are good as well, and the dice are great. All the components are pretty darn good. The art, though gross at times, is really well-done (see what I did there) and kept us laughing throughout our plays.

I do have one qualm about this game: the rulebook. Though only six pages long and with lots of illustrations throughout, I found that reading it made me more confused than it should have. I did take the rulebook’s advice to go to the publisher’s website, goodenoughgames.com, and watch the rules explanation and playthrough. That helped immensely to clear up what the rulebook did to my brain.

All in all, we had a great time playing this one. We all like Munchkin, and though it is NOT Munchkin, Cooking Customers delivers a take-that dice and card game that really is worth checking out. If you are looking for something with a new theme that plays quickly and has some meat on its bones (and there), then we certainly recommend Cooking Customers. Purple Phoenix Games gives this one a hearty (food puns are too easy) 13 / 18. You can purchase a copy at goodenoughgames.com currently. While you’re there please watch the video.