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KalJ95 (25 KP) rated Marvel's Spider-Man in Video Games
Jun 19, 2020
All Round Performances Are Fantastic. (4 more)
Combat Is Arkham-esque.
New York Sandbox Is The Definition Of Fun.
Story Feels Fresh And Thrilling.
The Webswinging.
Frame Rate Issues. (1 more)
Few Missed Opportunities With The Story.
The Best Superhero Game Ever?
When I was nine years old, I fell thirty feet out of a tree on a British summers day. Coincidently, because of damp moss on a branch. I spent seven days in a hospital, recovering from a punctured lung, caused by impact on my ribs. In that week, I spent most of my time playing Spider-Man 2, a tie in with the Sam Raimi film, on a hospital owned PlayStation 2. Why am I telling you this story? Well, I spent quite a substantial amount of time playing that game, and it slowly made me realise the mechanics and skill that go into making a video game. Spider-Man wouldn't just shoot his web up in the sky and start swinging, like the Spider-Man game previous. Spider-Man would have to attach his webs to buildings he flew by, and this blew my mind and kept me occupied for hours and hours. For me, it encapsulated a feeling of being so immersed within a medium, you forget everything around you, and in my case it just so happened to be bed ridden in a hospital with a punctured lung. Spider-Man games have come and gone since that 2004 classic, but none have ever been as fun to play.
Marvel’s Spider-Man is the best Spider-Man game ever made, and an even bolder statement, it just might be the best superhero game ever made. Insomniac have crafted an original experience, whilst keeping the spirit and tone of Spidey the same of that from the comics. You can tell right from the opening cinematic, Insomniac have done their research extensively, from the witty dialogue of Peter Parker’s banter, to the wise cracks he makes as his alter ego when punching the pulp out of thugs and villains. The fundamental idea of what this game strives to be is fun, and this is the very definition.
The story is follows Peter, as he juggles the responsibility of being a superhero, with the very normal aspects of everyday life, like holding down an apartment, or retaining a relationship with his Aunt May and Mary Jane Watson. While this remains the core of the narrative, villainy is taking shape in the background, as multiple antagonists are preparing to take down the web-slinger, once and for all. Included in the story comes a variety of side missions, activities to complete, collectables to find, and costumes to unlock. The sheer amount of things to do in this game is unbelievable. The costumes alone ranks up to thirty eight (with DLC included), all in ridiculously beautiful detail. I specifically remember a moment when the rising sun over the Big Apple shone over the windows of a skyscraper, bouncing onto the red of Spider-Man’s suit. I was in awe. In fact, I was in awe over the entire map of New York City, which feels alive, even a character within itself. The major monuments all bring such authenticity to the overall feel of a city you can fully explore. Its a massive playground for Spider-Man, and I never felt the need to fast travel at all.
The characters make the story worth playing multiple times. Certain characters can’t be mentioned due to spoiling aspects of the narrative, but stand-out performances happen time and time again. This also brings a dynamic between characters that shines over the entire experience. Peter and MJ are partners, yet their relationship seems distanced from past troubles. We never find out specifically, but the seeds are planted from dialogue that we can only guess from an audiences’ perspective. It brings so much back story to the characters, making them seem so fleshed out and real. No Uncle Ben death scenes either, so that is a plus in my book.
The combat, at first, felt all to familiar with Rocksteady’s Arkham Series, which isn't a problem, but instead I wanted something a little new to engage with. Then a collection of gadgets are introduced, and this mixes everything up. Everything feels so fluid and silky smooth, from webbing thugs against a wall, or sending out a spiderdrone to fire rounds of electric bullets to incapacitate an opponent. Again, this never feels stale, even when I had collected every collectable and finished all activities, I spent hours just waiting for police calls so I could attend crimes an battle enemies. This is perhaps where Insomniac need to be commended most. Games are all too disposable at times, once its done you're done with it, but Marvel’s Spider-Man is so damn fun, even when everything is done. You feel the need to explore, the need to finish the side missions and activities, because every aspect is so well produced.
I do however have minor issues to mention. I did experience tiny pauses in gameplay whilst the city loaded more buildings, I don't know if this was down to playing on a standard PS4 rather than a Pro. The story does sometimes cut a few beats short in areas, and the DLC feels like it could of been included within the game, which ultimately feels like it was, and was decided to be DLC for an extra cost. But, these are little gripes for an overall fantastic package. I can’t wait to see what happens next.
Marvel’s Spider-Man is the best Spider-Man game ever made, and an even bolder statement, it just might be the best superhero game ever made. Insomniac have crafted an original experience, whilst keeping the spirit and tone of Spidey the same of that from the comics. You can tell right from the opening cinematic, Insomniac have done their research extensively, from the witty dialogue of Peter Parker’s banter, to the wise cracks he makes as his alter ego when punching the pulp out of thugs and villains. The fundamental idea of what this game strives to be is fun, and this is the very definition.
The story is follows Peter, as he juggles the responsibility of being a superhero, with the very normal aspects of everyday life, like holding down an apartment, or retaining a relationship with his Aunt May and Mary Jane Watson. While this remains the core of the narrative, villainy is taking shape in the background, as multiple antagonists are preparing to take down the web-slinger, once and for all. Included in the story comes a variety of side missions, activities to complete, collectables to find, and costumes to unlock. The sheer amount of things to do in this game is unbelievable. The costumes alone ranks up to thirty eight (with DLC included), all in ridiculously beautiful detail. I specifically remember a moment when the rising sun over the Big Apple shone over the windows of a skyscraper, bouncing onto the red of Spider-Man’s suit. I was in awe. In fact, I was in awe over the entire map of New York City, which feels alive, even a character within itself. The major monuments all bring such authenticity to the overall feel of a city you can fully explore. Its a massive playground for Spider-Man, and I never felt the need to fast travel at all.
The characters make the story worth playing multiple times. Certain characters can’t be mentioned due to spoiling aspects of the narrative, but stand-out performances happen time and time again. This also brings a dynamic between characters that shines over the entire experience. Peter and MJ are partners, yet their relationship seems distanced from past troubles. We never find out specifically, but the seeds are planted from dialogue that we can only guess from an audiences’ perspective. It brings so much back story to the characters, making them seem so fleshed out and real. No Uncle Ben death scenes either, so that is a plus in my book.
The combat, at first, felt all to familiar with Rocksteady’s Arkham Series, which isn't a problem, but instead I wanted something a little new to engage with. Then a collection of gadgets are introduced, and this mixes everything up. Everything feels so fluid and silky smooth, from webbing thugs against a wall, or sending out a spiderdrone to fire rounds of electric bullets to incapacitate an opponent. Again, this never feels stale, even when I had collected every collectable and finished all activities, I spent hours just waiting for police calls so I could attend crimes an battle enemies. This is perhaps where Insomniac need to be commended most. Games are all too disposable at times, once its done you're done with it, but Marvel’s Spider-Man is so damn fun, even when everything is done. You feel the need to explore, the need to finish the side missions and activities, because every aspect is so well produced.
I do however have minor issues to mention. I did experience tiny pauses in gameplay whilst the city loaded more buildings, I don't know if this was down to playing on a standard PS4 rather than a Pro. The story does sometimes cut a few beats short in areas, and the DLC feels like it could of been included within the game, which ultimately feels like it was, and was decided to be DLC for an extra cost. But, these are little gripes for an overall fantastic package. I can’t wait to see what happens next.
Purple Phoenix Games (2266 KP) rated Aldabas: Doors of Cartagena in Tabletop Games
May 16, 2021
I’m just going to come right out with it so I can get it out of the way. This game has some really nice knockers. Yes, it is kid-friendly – I am referencing the door knockers that adorn the Doors of Cartagena. These ornate knockers have historically signified professions held by the residence’s inhabitants and can still be found in this Colombian city today. So how does this translate into a board game? Well, let’s dive into the world of Aldabas: Doors of Cartagena.
In Aldabas, players are (loose) urban planners in historic Cartagena attempting to build their city block with the most influential people in town. By drafting the most strategic door cards the winning player is they who scores the most points at the end of the game.
DISCLAIMER: We were provided a prototype copy of this game for the purposes of this review. These are preview copy components, and I do not know for sure if the final components will be any different from these shown. Also, it is not my intention to detail every rule in the game, as there are just too many. You are invited to download the rulebook, back the game through the Kickstarter campaign, or through any retailers stocking it after fulfillment. -T
To setup, place out 12 coins per player on the table, create the door offer dock, shuffle the Doors deck, and give each player five Doors and one Vault board. Each player then chooses one card from their hand to secretly place under their vault for endgame scoring. Place the shuffled Doors deck next to the Dock and deal one card to each space beneath the Dock. The game is now setup and ready to play!
On a turn the active player will take two actions. The actions are: Take Two Coins, Buy One Door, and Place One Door. Obviously, the first action has the player adding two coins from the supply to their play area (called the purse). To Buy One Door the player simply chooses one of the Door cards from the Dock area and pays its cost to the supply. The two cards on the leftmost spaces of the Dock are free, while the other cards cost coins according to their placement at the Dock. Once a card has been purchased, a new card is revealed and added to the rightmost space, sliding all other Doors cards to the left.
To Place One Door, the active player will choose a Doors card from their hand and place it on their block they are building in front of them. The Vault card acts as the bottom leftmost space, with the block encompassing a 4×3 grid above it and to the right (as shown below). Once the Door is placed, any special power it offers is triggered immediately, as are the Doors cards’ powers adjacently below and beside the newly placed Door card.
The catch here is that when placing Doors, it is illegal to place them orthogonally adjacent to Doors of the same color, and the spaces both below and to the left of the placed Door cannot be empty. Essentially, Doors need to be placed in a cone starting from the Vault. Play continues in this fashion with players taking turns until either the supply runs out of coins, a player fills up their 4×3 grid with Doors, or the Dock cannot be refilled because the Doors deck is empty. Then final scoring occurs, which is based on individual cards as well as any suit-specific bonuses offered.
Components. Again, this is a prototype copy of the game, so final components may be different in many different ways upon a successful Kickstarter campaign. That said, this game looks GORGEOUS on the table. The colors are all super vibrant, and the great knockers really pop. Excellent theme and art here carry an already-spiffy game. The game is basically a bunch of cards and some coin tokens. They are all fine quality, especially for a prototype. I have no issues at all. I love the way this looks!
So I love the way it looks, but do I love the way it plays? I think it’s a good little game. It reminds me a little of Viceroy with the color combinations and placement rules. While Viceroy is good, Aldabas is much better in almost all ways. Aldabas plays quicker and has more easily digestible rules. If you check Viceroy’s profile on BGG you will see that many users enjoy it, and it currently sits just above rank 1000. So when I say Aldabas gives a similar feel but delivers a more enjoyable game experience, I expect Aldabas to perform better in the BGG rankings, if that’s your thing.
The special powers on the Doors cards, though I didn’t really mention them, range from VPs at game end, to moving coins to and from the Vault onto Doors to make them more valuable, to gaining coins from the supply or stealing them from other players, to offering discounts on purchasing Doors from the Dock. There are some other fun rules used in scoring, but I will let you experience those on your own with your backed copy.
So final word from me on this one is that I highly recommend it and hope you give it a shot. It offers lots of strategic game play with a medium-sized table footprint, but boy it looks great on that table! Turns are fast, and everyone is in the game until end scoring, so I never felt there was a runaway winner issue. If you are like me, you will definitely want to be adding this to your collection. Big recommendations from me, I know you will enjoy it.
In Aldabas, players are (loose) urban planners in historic Cartagena attempting to build their city block with the most influential people in town. By drafting the most strategic door cards the winning player is they who scores the most points at the end of the game.
DISCLAIMER: We were provided a prototype copy of this game for the purposes of this review. These are preview copy components, and I do not know for sure if the final components will be any different from these shown. Also, it is not my intention to detail every rule in the game, as there are just too many. You are invited to download the rulebook, back the game through the Kickstarter campaign, or through any retailers stocking it after fulfillment. -T
To setup, place out 12 coins per player on the table, create the door offer dock, shuffle the Doors deck, and give each player five Doors and one Vault board. Each player then chooses one card from their hand to secretly place under their vault for endgame scoring. Place the shuffled Doors deck next to the Dock and deal one card to each space beneath the Dock. The game is now setup and ready to play!
On a turn the active player will take two actions. The actions are: Take Two Coins, Buy One Door, and Place One Door. Obviously, the first action has the player adding two coins from the supply to their play area (called the purse). To Buy One Door the player simply chooses one of the Door cards from the Dock area and pays its cost to the supply. The two cards on the leftmost spaces of the Dock are free, while the other cards cost coins according to their placement at the Dock. Once a card has been purchased, a new card is revealed and added to the rightmost space, sliding all other Doors cards to the left.
To Place One Door, the active player will choose a Doors card from their hand and place it on their block they are building in front of them. The Vault card acts as the bottom leftmost space, with the block encompassing a 4×3 grid above it and to the right (as shown below). Once the Door is placed, any special power it offers is triggered immediately, as are the Doors cards’ powers adjacently below and beside the newly placed Door card.
The catch here is that when placing Doors, it is illegal to place them orthogonally adjacent to Doors of the same color, and the spaces both below and to the left of the placed Door cannot be empty. Essentially, Doors need to be placed in a cone starting from the Vault. Play continues in this fashion with players taking turns until either the supply runs out of coins, a player fills up their 4×3 grid with Doors, or the Dock cannot be refilled because the Doors deck is empty. Then final scoring occurs, which is based on individual cards as well as any suit-specific bonuses offered.
Components. Again, this is a prototype copy of the game, so final components may be different in many different ways upon a successful Kickstarter campaign. That said, this game looks GORGEOUS on the table. The colors are all super vibrant, and the great knockers really pop. Excellent theme and art here carry an already-spiffy game. The game is basically a bunch of cards and some coin tokens. They are all fine quality, especially for a prototype. I have no issues at all. I love the way this looks!
So I love the way it looks, but do I love the way it plays? I think it’s a good little game. It reminds me a little of Viceroy with the color combinations and placement rules. While Viceroy is good, Aldabas is much better in almost all ways. Aldabas plays quicker and has more easily digestible rules. If you check Viceroy’s profile on BGG you will see that many users enjoy it, and it currently sits just above rank 1000. So when I say Aldabas gives a similar feel but delivers a more enjoyable game experience, I expect Aldabas to perform better in the BGG rankings, if that’s your thing.
The special powers on the Doors cards, though I didn’t really mention them, range from VPs at game end, to moving coins to and from the Vault onto Doors to make them more valuable, to gaining coins from the supply or stealing them from other players, to offering discounts on purchasing Doors from the Dock. There are some other fun rules used in scoring, but I will let you experience those on your own with your backed copy.
So final word from me on this one is that I highly recommend it and hope you give it a shot. It offers lots of strategic game play with a medium-sized table footprint, but boy it looks great on that table! Turns are fast, and everyone is in the game until end scoring, so I never felt there was a runaway winner issue. If you are like me, you will definitely want to be adding this to your collection. Big recommendations from me, I know you will enjoy it.
Bob Mann (459 KP) rated Wordslingers: The Story of Self-Publishing (2021) in Movies
Sep 28, 2021
They say that everyone has a book in them. I guess the key question is whether anyone else wants to read it. Such is the subject of this new documentary from A. Brooks Bennett. As a publisher says at one point “Writing a book is a creative act; publishing a book is a business”.
The democratization of publishing
The internet has brought many advantages to modern life, but perhaps one of the most interesting is the democratization of publishing. No longer is control in the hands of publishing houses, who might glance at and immediately dismiss new ideas in literature. It’s worth remembering that 12 publishing houses turned down J.K. Rowling’s draft for Harry Potter! Now anyone can be creative in writing and self-publish on the web. My own wife – Sue Mann – did just this, self-publishing the WW1 poems and reminiscences of two of her great-uncles. (It’s available from all good bookshops… oh, no…. actually just from here!) Are the poems artistically any good? I have no idea! Will it sell many copies? Clearly not! Was it a personal goal achieved in honouring their memory? Absolutely! Different people want different things from the medium.
Very ‘American’.
It’s probably down to the pioneer spirit, but as a generalisation Americans seem far more ambitious than Brits: or at least, more OPENLY ambitious. Whereas most Brits will quietly get on with building their careers, some Americans will go hell-for-leather towards their vision of “success” no matter the cost: no guts; no glory; and be noisy about it!
But for every J.K. Rowling or Bill Bryson there are several thousand writers who have ‘failed to launch’.
Here we follow two budding authors – one from California; the other from North Carolina – self-publishing their work and seeking sales.
One – Giles A (“Andy”) Anderson – has self-published a seemingly disturbing work called “Vidu” – the first of what he hopes will be a five-part series. He first talks from a ghoulish bookstore, speaking psycho-babble with the requisite hyperbole of an ‘artiste’. (It suggests how the books might read… but perhaps that’s misjudging). It comes then as a surprise when we find he doesn’t live alone in a coffin playing video games on his own, but has a lovely wife and two young and perfectly normal children. So his book is an “off the beaten track kinda book”, but the man seems well-grounded and following his dream in bite-size pieces.
Moral: Avoid the Travel Books
As is often the case though, the documentary homes in on, and spends most of its time with, the other author – Adam Shephard. Shephard is struggling to launch as an author and also – in parallel – wrestling with the Green Card process for his supportive and vivacious Croatian wife Ivana. The problem is that Shephard has written an extended travel blog: ten-a-penny on sites like WordPress.
I read a Forbes article last year that reported that – astonishingly – in a survey 11% of American respondents had never travelled outside of their home state and 40% had never left the country. For such a well-heeled country, the US is incredibly insular. So Shephard’s vision is to encourage youngsters to step outside of their comfort zone and jump on that plane to Guatemala. It’s a fine objective. But does anyone want to listen? And – crucially – is the book any good and commercial enough? As the famous ‘founder of self-publishing’, the late Dan Poynter (to who the film is dedicated) says “You can’t make any money off a travel book”.
The film never goes as far as having either of the featured books critically reviewed: that might have added some extra spice to the story (and possibly provoked some painful reactions). But the piles of unopened boxes in Adam’s clinically white storage facility rather speaks for itself. Since Shephard never seems to do anything by halves, the boxes are piled high and thus the fall from grace is hard, long…. and absolutely riveting. (Ivana’s support and love in such difficult circumstances is commendable: he is a truly blessed man).
Jaw-dropping Walmart scene
At least at the start of the film, Adam’s self-belief and confidence in himself is infectious. The peak of his bravado, and a jaw-dropping highpoint in the movie for me, was a scene filmed in Walmart. Shephard, in a case of “reverse shoplifting”, sneaks HIS books onto the bookshelves of Walmart. What happens when they then try to buy one? It’s a real eye-opener and worth watching the documentary for in its own right.
It’s an interesting legal position: if Walmart were to be upset about this scene, what on earth could they charge them with!? Littering?
Highs and lows.
Shephard seems to have talent as a speaker, and it struck me that he would be genuinely suited to a job in sales. In the movie we see him performing self-confidence-building pitches to young people (and, boy, could we sometimes use that in the UK post-Brexit). A few books sold. But another event barely breaking even. The pattern becomes familiar and, in a way, rather tragic.
There are unexpected highs and lows for Adam and Ivana along the way though, unrelated to the publishing story, and the filmmaker skillfully weaves them into the narrative to good effect.
Thought-provoking.
I watched this on a whim and thought I’d probably switch off after 10 minutes. Documentaries normally are not my thing! But no. It had me gripped to see how things would turn out – like watching a slow-motion car crash! The journey was well-worth the ride: a real page-turner you might say.
The democratization of publishing
The internet has brought many advantages to modern life, but perhaps one of the most interesting is the democratization of publishing. No longer is control in the hands of publishing houses, who might glance at and immediately dismiss new ideas in literature. It’s worth remembering that 12 publishing houses turned down J.K. Rowling’s draft for Harry Potter! Now anyone can be creative in writing and self-publish on the web. My own wife – Sue Mann – did just this, self-publishing the WW1 poems and reminiscences of two of her great-uncles. (It’s available from all good bookshops… oh, no…. actually just from here!) Are the poems artistically any good? I have no idea! Will it sell many copies? Clearly not! Was it a personal goal achieved in honouring their memory? Absolutely! Different people want different things from the medium.
Very ‘American’.
It’s probably down to the pioneer spirit, but as a generalisation Americans seem far more ambitious than Brits: or at least, more OPENLY ambitious. Whereas most Brits will quietly get on with building their careers, some Americans will go hell-for-leather towards their vision of “success” no matter the cost: no guts; no glory; and be noisy about it!
But for every J.K. Rowling or Bill Bryson there are several thousand writers who have ‘failed to launch’.
Here we follow two budding authors – one from California; the other from North Carolina – self-publishing their work and seeking sales.
One – Giles A (“Andy”) Anderson – has self-published a seemingly disturbing work called “Vidu” – the first of what he hopes will be a five-part series. He first talks from a ghoulish bookstore, speaking psycho-babble with the requisite hyperbole of an ‘artiste’. (It suggests how the books might read… but perhaps that’s misjudging). It comes then as a surprise when we find he doesn’t live alone in a coffin playing video games on his own, but has a lovely wife and two young and perfectly normal children. So his book is an “off the beaten track kinda book”, but the man seems well-grounded and following his dream in bite-size pieces.
Moral: Avoid the Travel Books
As is often the case though, the documentary homes in on, and spends most of its time with, the other author – Adam Shephard. Shephard is struggling to launch as an author and also – in parallel – wrestling with the Green Card process for his supportive and vivacious Croatian wife Ivana. The problem is that Shephard has written an extended travel blog: ten-a-penny on sites like WordPress.
I read a Forbes article last year that reported that – astonishingly – in a survey 11% of American respondents had never travelled outside of their home state and 40% had never left the country. For such a well-heeled country, the US is incredibly insular. So Shephard’s vision is to encourage youngsters to step outside of their comfort zone and jump on that plane to Guatemala. It’s a fine objective. But does anyone want to listen? And – crucially – is the book any good and commercial enough? As the famous ‘founder of self-publishing’, the late Dan Poynter (to who the film is dedicated) says “You can’t make any money off a travel book”.
The film never goes as far as having either of the featured books critically reviewed: that might have added some extra spice to the story (and possibly provoked some painful reactions). But the piles of unopened boxes in Adam’s clinically white storage facility rather speaks for itself. Since Shephard never seems to do anything by halves, the boxes are piled high and thus the fall from grace is hard, long…. and absolutely riveting. (Ivana’s support and love in such difficult circumstances is commendable: he is a truly blessed man).
Jaw-dropping Walmart scene
At least at the start of the film, Adam’s self-belief and confidence in himself is infectious. The peak of his bravado, and a jaw-dropping highpoint in the movie for me, was a scene filmed in Walmart. Shephard, in a case of “reverse shoplifting”, sneaks HIS books onto the bookshelves of Walmart. What happens when they then try to buy one? It’s a real eye-opener and worth watching the documentary for in its own right.
It’s an interesting legal position: if Walmart were to be upset about this scene, what on earth could they charge them with!? Littering?
Highs and lows.
Shephard seems to have talent as a speaker, and it struck me that he would be genuinely suited to a job in sales. In the movie we see him performing self-confidence-building pitches to young people (and, boy, could we sometimes use that in the UK post-Brexit). A few books sold. But another event barely breaking even. The pattern becomes familiar and, in a way, rather tragic.
There are unexpected highs and lows for Adam and Ivana along the way though, unrelated to the publishing story, and the filmmaker skillfully weaves them into the narrative to good effect.
Thought-provoking.
I watched this on a whim and thought I’d probably switch off after 10 minutes. Documentaries normally are not my thing! But no. It had me gripped to see how things would turn out – like watching a slow-motion car crash! The journey was well-worth the ride: a real page-turner you might say.
Bob Mann (459 KP) rated The Shape of Water (2017) in Movies
Sep 29, 2021
A mystical tale of fish and fingers.
With perfect timing after scooping 13 Oscar nominations, “The Shape of Water” arrives for preview screenings in the UK. Is it worth all the hype?
Well, in a word, yes.
Not since Spielberg entranced the world in 1982 with a love story between an isolated and lonely child and an alien, stranded a million light-years from home, have we seen a magical fairy-tale so well told.
Cleaning up at the (box) office. Sally Hawkins and Doug Jones as the creature.
Here Lewisham’s own Sally Hawkins (“Paddington”, “Godzilla“) plays Elisa Esposito, an attractive but mousy mute living above a cinema and next door to her best friend: a struggling artist called Giles (Richard Jenkins). Sexually-frustrated, Elisa works out those tensions in the bath every morning before heading off to work as a cleaner at a government research institute. Together with partner Zelda Fuller (Octavia Spencer, “Hidden Figures“) she is asked to clean a highly secured room where a mysterious aquatic creature is being studied by the cruel and militaristic Strickland (Michael Shannon, “Midnight Special“, “Nocturnal Animals“) and the more compassionate scientist Hoffstetler. (The latter is played by Michael Stuhlbarg (“Miss Sloane“, “Steve Jobs“) in a performance that wasn’t recognised by the Academy, but for me really held the film’s story together). Elisa forms a relationship with the creature, and as the scientific investigations turn darker, she becomes determined to help him.
When you think about it, the similarities in the screenplay with E.T. are quite striking. But this is most definitely not a kid’s film, containing full frontal nudity, sex and some considerable violence, some of it “hands-over-the-eyes” worthy. Most of this violence comes courtesy of Shannon’s character, who is truly monstrous. He is uncontrollably vicious, single-minded and amoral: a hand over the mouth to silence his wife during vigourous sex cleverly belies where his true lust currently lies. (Shannon is just so convincing in all of his roles that, after “Nocturnal Animals“, it is a bit of a surprise to see that he is still alive and well!)
It’s worth pointing out for balance at this point that my wife thought this portrayal was over-egged for its villany, and she rated the film less highly than I did because of it.
Michael Shannon as evil incarnate.
So its no Oscar nomination this time for Shannon as a supporting actor. But that honour goes to Richard Jenkins, who is spectacularly good as the movie-musical-loving and pie-munching neighbour who is drawn unwillingly into Elisa’s plans. Giles is a richly fashioned character – also the film’s narrator – who struggles to fit in with the cruel and rascist 1962 world that he finds himself in. “Sometimes I think I was born too early or too late for my life” he bemoans to the creature whose loneliness he relates to. A scene in a cafe where he fastidiously wipes all traces of pie-filling from his tongue is masterfully done.
Richard Hawkins and Sally Hawkins, hatching a plan.
Octavia Spencer is also Oscar nominated for Best Supporting Actress, and it’s a magical partnership she shares with Hawkins, with each bouncing off each other wonderfully.
This leads to a ‘no brainer’ Oscar nomination for Sally Hawkins who delivers a star turn. She has to go through such a huge range of emotions in this film, and she genuinely makes you really care about the outcome like few films this year. It’s a little tricky since I haven’t seen “I Tonya” or “Ladybird” yet, but I would have thought that Ms Hawkins is going to possibly give Frances McDormand the closest run for her money on March 4th. My money would still be on McDormand for “3 Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri“, but the Oscar voters are bound to love “The Shape of Water”. For like “La La Land” last year, the film is (rather surprisingly for me) another love letter to Hollywood’s golden years, with Elisa and Giles living out their lives with classic movie music and dance numbers: a medium that Elisa only ever truly finds here “voice” through.
Eliza and Zelda about to give two fingers to the establishment.
In the technical categories the Oscar nominations were for Cinematography (Dan Laustsen); Film Editing (Sidney Wolinsky); Sound Editing (Nathan Robitaille and Nelson Ferreira); Sound Mixing (Glen Gauthier, Christian Cooke and Brad Zoern); Production Design (Paul D. Austerberry, Jeffrey A. Melvin and Shane Vieau); Original Score (Alexandre Desplat) and Costume Design (Luis Sequeira). And you really wouldn’t want to bet against any of these not to win, for the film is a technical delight. Right from the dreamlike opening titles (arguably, they missed a deserved nomination here for Visual Effects), the film is gorgeous to look at, with such brilliant detail in the production design that there is interesting stuff to look at in every frame. And the film editing is extraordinary: Elisa wobbles on the bucket she’s standing on, but it’s Strickland’s butt, perched on a table, that slips off. This is a film that deserves multiple repeat viewings.
The monster feeding the monster. Nick Searcy as General Hoyt with Strickland (Michael Shannon).
An the helm is the multi-talented Guillermo del Toro (“Pacific Rim”, “Crimson Peak”) who both directed and co-wrote the exceptionally smart screenplay (with Vanessa Taylor, “Divergent”) and is nominated for both. I actually found the story to be rather predictable, as regards Elisa’s story arc, but that in no way reduced my enjoyment of the film. For the “original screenplay” is nothing if not “original”…. it’s witty, intelligent and shocking at different turns.
The violence and sex won’t be for everyone… but this is a deep and rich movie experience that everyone who loves the movies should at least appreciate… hopefully in a dry cinema!
Well, in a word, yes.
Not since Spielberg entranced the world in 1982 with a love story between an isolated and lonely child and an alien, stranded a million light-years from home, have we seen a magical fairy-tale so well told.
Cleaning up at the (box) office. Sally Hawkins and Doug Jones as the creature.
Here Lewisham’s own Sally Hawkins (“Paddington”, “Godzilla“) plays Elisa Esposito, an attractive but mousy mute living above a cinema and next door to her best friend: a struggling artist called Giles (Richard Jenkins). Sexually-frustrated, Elisa works out those tensions in the bath every morning before heading off to work as a cleaner at a government research institute. Together with partner Zelda Fuller (Octavia Spencer, “Hidden Figures“) she is asked to clean a highly secured room where a mysterious aquatic creature is being studied by the cruel and militaristic Strickland (Michael Shannon, “Midnight Special“, “Nocturnal Animals“) and the more compassionate scientist Hoffstetler. (The latter is played by Michael Stuhlbarg (“Miss Sloane“, “Steve Jobs“) in a performance that wasn’t recognised by the Academy, but for me really held the film’s story together). Elisa forms a relationship with the creature, and as the scientific investigations turn darker, she becomes determined to help him.
When you think about it, the similarities in the screenplay with E.T. are quite striking. But this is most definitely not a kid’s film, containing full frontal nudity, sex and some considerable violence, some of it “hands-over-the-eyes” worthy. Most of this violence comes courtesy of Shannon’s character, who is truly monstrous. He is uncontrollably vicious, single-minded and amoral: a hand over the mouth to silence his wife during vigourous sex cleverly belies where his true lust currently lies. (Shannon is just so convincing in all of his roles that, after “Nocturnal Animals“, it is a bit of a surprise to see that he is still alive and well!)
It’s worth pointing out for balance at this point that my wife thought this portrayal was over-egged for its villany, and she rated the film less highly than I did because of it.
Michael Shannon as evil incarnate.
So its no Oscar nomination this time for Shannon as a supporting actor. But that honour goes to Richard Jenkins, who is spectacularly good as the movie-musical-loving and pie-munching neighbour who is drawn unwillingly into Elisa’s plans. Giles is a richly fashioned character – also the film’s narrator – who struggles to fit in with the cruel and rascist 1962 world that he finds himself in. “Sometimes I think I was born too early or too late for my life” he bemoans to the creature whose loneliness he relates to. A scene in a cafe where he fastidiously wipes all traces of pie-filling from his tongue is masterfully done.
Richard Hawkins and Sally Hawkins, hatching a plan.
Octavia Spencer is also Oscar nominated for Best Supporting Actress, and it’s a magical partnership she shares with Hawkins, with each bouncing off each other wonderfully.
This leads to a ‘no brainer’ Oscar nomination for Sally Hawkins who delivers a star turn. She has to go through such a huge range of emotions in this film, and she genuinely makes you really care about the outcome like few films this year. It’s a little tricky since I haven’t seen “I Tonya” or “Ladybird” yet, but I would have thought that Ms Hawkins is going to possibly give Frances McDormand the closest run for her money on March 4th. My money would still be on McDormand for “3 Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri“, but the Oscar voters are bound to love “The Shape of Water”. For like “La La Land” last year, the film is (rather surprisingly for me) another love letter to Hollywood’s golden years, with Elisa and Giles living out their lives with classic movie music and dance numbers: a medium that Elisa only ever truly finds here “voice” through.
Eliza and Zelda about to give two fingers to the establishment.
In the technical categories the Oscar nominations were for Cinematography (Dan Laustsen); Film Editing (Sidney Wolinsky); Sound Editing (Nathan Robitaille and Nelson Ferreira); Sound Mixing (Glen Gauthier, Christian Cooke and Brad Zoern); Production Design (Paul D. Austerberry, Jeffrey A. Melvin and Shane Vieau); Original Score (Alexandre Desplat) and Costume Design (Luis Sequeira). And you really wouldn’t want to bet against any of these not to win, for the film is a technical delight. Right from the dreamlike opening titles (arguably, they missed a deserved nomination here for Visual Effects), the film is gorgeous to look at, with such brilliant detail in the production design that there is interesting stuff to look at in every frame. And the film editing is extraordinary: Elisa wobbles on the bucket she’s standing on, but it’s Strickland’s butt, perched on a table, that slips off. This is a film that deserves multiple repeat viewings.
The monster feeding the monster. Nick Searcy as General Hoyt with Strickland (Michael Shannon).
An the helm is the multi-talented Guillermo del Toro (“Pacific Rim”, “Crimson Peak”) who both directed and co-wrote the exceptionally smart screenplay (with Vanessa Taylor, “Divergent”) and is nominated for both. I actually found the story to be rather predictable, as regards Elisa’s story arc, but that in no way reduced my enjoyment of the film. For the “original screenplay” is nothing if not “original”…. it’s witty, intelligent and shocking at different turns.
The violence and sex won’t be for everyone… but this is a deep and rich movie experience that everyone who loves the movies should at least appreciate… hopefully in a dry cinema!
Gareth von Kallenbach (971 KP) rated The Lighthouse (2019) in Movies
Oct 24, 2019
Growing up I remember watching Alfred Hitchcock Presents on USA network and catching the occasional twilight zone on the weekends. In fact, it’s hard to believe that our second TV was a small black and white 13” TV that we would watch all types of shows on when our living room TV was otherwise preoccupied. While all these shows were only available in black and white, they still portrayed a frightening imagery that likely would lose a lot of their suspense if the show had been presented in color. The Lighthouse, the second feature directed by Robert Eggers (The Witch) utilizes not only a black and white picture to build on the dread of loneliness the film wishes to convey, but also presents itself in a boxy format, to better mimic silent films of a bygone era.
The Lighthouse features Willem Dafoe as Thomas Wake, a grizzled old lighthouse keeper who begins his four-week duty on a secluded lighthouse with Ephraim Winslow (Robert Pattinson), a man who has never worked a lighthouse in his young life. Thomas a former seaman who longs for his time back on the waves directs Ephraim around in his duties as one would expect from an experienced sea captain, teaching Ephraim the way of a lighthouse keeper. One rule that Ephraim must obey is that no one manages the light except Thomas, and no one may look upon its glory except Thomas. Reluctant to obey but not wishing to lose his pay Ephraim obliges and the two spend four weeks managing their duties as best as they can.
It’s after the four weeks, when their relief fails to arrive, that things begin to go off the rails. It is here where the secrets begin to emerge, and the audience is left to wonder whether these two will ever make it off the island. It’s here where the film begins to intensify as the struggle for survival with dwindling supplies, and the effects of loneliness and solitude begin to rear its ugly head. Where each mans sanity will be tested and the bond, they have built over the past four weeks will be put to the test.
The Lighthouse is a movie that is difficult to put into any one genre. Much of the movie plays out like a drama, where the old man and the newcomer work to overcome their differences as one mentors the other. The movie always has an underlying sense of dread, wondering what will come next. As the film progresses, the genre changes, and the suspense and horror begin to develop. What was a job where each man understood their roles becomes a race for survival. The questions begin to mount as we see the characters relationship morph and change. Why did Ephraim choose a life of solitude so far from civilization?
Why doesn’t Thomas allow anyone to man the light but him? What is each men hiding from one another?
William Dafoe does another outstanding job as the gruff, old lighthouse keeper. His accent, mannerisms and evening toasts all are performed with such authenticity that it’s hard to distinguish the actor from the character.
The real surprise was the performance of Robert Pattinson who is best known for his previous works on the Twilight series. He brings so much character to the screen that I would have had a hard time recognizing him if I didn’t know he was in the movie. He delivers a performance that is likely to garner Oscar buzz, something that wouldn’t surprise fans of William Dafoe, but might shock fans of Robert Pattinson. Robert Pattinson in this role is by far the best performance he’s ever done in his career and all, including his most devoted fans, will be pleasantly surprised by his performance in this film.
As I discussed in the opening paragraph, some films and shows play best to the medium that they are recorded on. Much like the old Alfred Hitchcock movies/shows, The Lighthouse benefits from its use of black and white and its boxy presentation. While there is certainly plenty of dialog throughout, it still takes on a very “silent movie” feel. One that you could almost expect to see placards of dialog appear instead of the actual words coming out on the screen. It is this stunning use of the above that truly brings The Lighthouse alive, and if done in color would have lost much of its personality in the process.
There is a ton of imagery and symbolism which I’m sure will be argued about on numerous Reddit posts for the next few days and weeks to come. I won’t pretend to understand much of it, and I believe that Eggers leaves many of what we see open for interpretation. Everything from the lighthouse itself, to the seagulls, to the mermaids (yes you read that correctly) all are open for discussion. After watching it I couldn’t help but wonder what the discussion of this particular film would have led to in my theater appreciation course back in college. That’s not to say that you can’t simply sit back and enjoy it for what it is, I just think its far more beneficial to think of what was seen and try to understand the meaning of it all.
The Lighthouse isn’t a movie that will appeal to everyone. For those who want a scary and suspenseful movie, it would be difficult to recommend.
While it certainly has suspense, it suspenseful in the way of an old Twilight Zone or Alfred Hitchcock movie, as opposed to something more recent like Paranormal Activity. The black and white video and the odd boxy aspect ratio may turn off a lot of folks as well, although I certainly don’t see it being as fascinating if it was done in any other way. There is a lot to love in this movie, and the character portrayals deserve the Oscar buzz that is certainly right around the corner. It’s a movie that is far easier to experience then to explain in a review, so I encourage those with even a little bit of curiosity to take the plunge and experience it for yourself.
The Lighthouse features Willem Dafoe as Thomas Wake, a grizzled old lighthouse keeper who begins his four-week duty on a secluded lighthouse with Ephraim Winslow (Robert Pattinson), a man who has never worked a lighthouse in his young life. Thomas a former seaman who longs for his time back on the waves directs Ephraim around in his duties as one would expect from an experienced sea captain, teaching Ephraim the way of a lighthouse keeper. One rule that Ephraim must obey is that no one manages the light except Thomas, and no one may look upon its glory except Thomas. Reluctant to obey but not wishing to lose his pay Ephraim obliges and the two spend four weeks managing their duties as best as they can.
It’s after the four weeks, when their relief fails to arrive, that things begin to go off the rails. It is here where the secrets begin to emerge, and the audience is left to wonder whether these two will ever make it off the island. It’s here where the film begins to intensify as the struggle for survival with dwindling supplies, and the effects of loneliness and solitude begin to rear its ugly head. Where each mans sanity will be tested and the bond, they have built over the past four weeks will be put to the test.
The Lighthouse is a movie that is difficult to put into any one genre. Much of the movie plays out like a drama, where the old man and the newcomer work to overcome their differences as one mentors the other. The movie always has an underlying sense of dread, wondering what will come next. As the film progresses, the genre changes, and the suspense and horror begin to develop. What was a job where each man understood their roles becomes a race for survival. The questions begin to mount as we see the characters relationship morph and change. Why did Ephraim choose a life of solitude so far from civilization?
Why doesn’t Thomas allow anyone to man the light but him? What is each men hiding from one another?
William Dafoe does another outstanding job as the gruff, old lighthouse keeper. His accent, mannerisms and evening toasts all are performed with such authenticity that it’s hard to distinguish the actor from the character.
The real surprise was the performance of Robert Pattinson who is best known for his previous works on the Twilight series. He brings so much character to the screen that I would have had a hard time recognizing him if I didn’t know he was in the movie. He delivers a performance that is likely to garner Oscar buzz, something that wouldn’t surprise fans of William Dafoe, but might shock fans of Robert Pattinson. Robert Pattinson in this role is by far the best performance he’s ever done in his career and all, including his most devoted fans, will be pleasantly surprised by his performance in this film.
As I discussed in the opening paragraph, some films and shows play best to the medium that they are recorded on. Much like the old Alfred Hitchcock movies/shows, The Lighthouse benefits from its use of black and white and its boxy presentation. While there is certainly plenty of dialog throughout, it still takes on a very “silent movie” feel. One that you could almost expect to see placards of dialog appear instead of the actual words coming out on the screen. It is this stunning use of the above that truly brings The Lighthouse alive, and if done in color would have lost much of its personality in the process.
There is a ton of imagery and symbolism which I’m sure will be argued about on numerous Reddit posts for the next few days and weeks to come. I won’t pretend to understand much of it, and I believe that Eggers leaves many of what we see open for interpretation. Everything from the lighthouse itself, to the seagulls, to the mermaids (yes you read that correctly) all are open for discussion. After watching it I couldn’t help but wonder what the discussion of this particular film would have led to in my theater appreciation course back in college. That’s not to say that you can’t simply sit back and enjoy it for what it is, I just think its far more beneficial to think of what was seen and try to understand the meaning of it all.
The Lighthouse isn’t a movie that will appeal to everyone. For those who want a scary and suspenseful movie, it would be difficult to recommend.
While it certainly has suspense, it suspenseful in the way of an old Twilight Zone or Alfred Hitchcock movie, as opposed to something more recent like Paranormal Activity. The black and white video and the odd boxy aspect ratio may turn off a lot of folks as well, although I certainly don’t see it being as fascinating if it was done in any other way. There is a lot to love in this movie, and the character portrayals deserve the Oscar buzz that is certainly right around the corner. It’s a movie that is far easier to experience then to explain in a review, so I encourage those with even a little bit of curiosity to take the plunge and experience it for yourself.
Neil Goddard (3 KP) rated Hellboy (2019) in Movies
Feb 27, 2020
It all looked soooo promising
Contains spoilers, click to show
Let me say this upfront; David Harbour looks f---ing boss as Hellboy. The makeup is far superior to that of Ron Perlman, not that there was anything wrong with Ron Perlman’s, but with this new incarnation it’s all in the eyes. Deep red, sunken, pained. Sadly, that is all I can say about this movie that is one hundred percent genuinely positive. There are positives however, but they come with a big ‘however’.
I was initially a little concerned that we were getting a re-boot and not a direct sequel to Hellboy II: The Golden Army (2008), especially as it still seemed so recent and was so well made. I know it was over a decade ago but quality is timeless, yeah? Then David Harbour was cast and Neil Marshall announced as director. Great, thought I, an actor I like and a director who’s put out some solid genre material. I saw the first picture of Harbour as Hellboy and I was genuinely excited. I saw the trailer and again, excited. Then I watched the film.
Eurgh, where to start?
Firstly, Ian McShane’s initial voice over is clunky and ill fitting, then they throw in some b@llocks about King Arthur and Excalibur. I had my first wobble here, as some of the effects seemed less than special.
Cue opening titles.
The film starts with a Mexican wrestling match that is purely exposition to let us know Hellboy is a hard drinking and hard fighting anti-hero working for an organisation that deals with the paranormal. The make up for his vampiric opponent is also great (can’t fault the makeup department), but the scene seemed superfluous. We get the nubbin of the story forming now; some horrible witchy wench from way back when was cut into bits and flung around jolly old England to prevent her from spreading a right ‘orrible plague. Turns out a potty-mouthed Liverpudlian pig-monster is collecting said bits in the hope of putting her back together in exchange for his normal appearance. Scouse pig-monster is quite entertaining.
Hellboy goes to England at the request of an upper-class paranormal society to help them kill giants; this goes t1ts up. Again, this seems like unnecessary exposition to introduce Alice, a medium who he rescued as a baby, who now rescues him in a transit van. We also get introduced to M11’s Agent Daimio. There something wrong with him, he keeps injecting himself with a serum to stop something happening. I knew at this point we’d get to see what it was eventually, probably at a juncture where something is needed to rescue someone important. However, at this point I had a feeling it would be bad, I just didn’t know how bad.
There some more fighting, some good effects, some mediocre effects and some terrible effects. There’s some good one-liners, there’s some dull and/or terrible dialogue and then we get the film’s conclusion.
There’s something I’ve been putting off mentioning as I didn’t want the entire review to be about it, and it could have been; the witchy wench at the heart of all this paranormal consternation, Nimue, is played by Milla Jovovich and she is terrible. From when she first opens her mouth to her predictable demise, she is terrible. Terrible. TERRIBLE.
I love some of the Resident Evil films but all she’s required to do is some slow-motion scissor kicks and shoot zombies and zombie-dogs in the face. She is tolerated, rather than enjoyed. Here she is emoting, or at least I think that’s what she was going for, and as a depiction of an evil entity bent of the destruction of all mankind, she is, for want of a better word, cack.
David Harbour and the Hellboy franchise deserve better than this. To be blunt, the franchise has better than this and Mike Mignola should be a bit more f---ing precious with his creation.
Hellboy (2004) was genuinely exciting; it was an origin story that bought that story full circle for its thrilling and apocalyptical conclusion. It has a wonderful nemesis, great support and breath-taking visuals. The re-tread of the origin story in Hellboy (2019) is, again, one more unnecessary diversion from a sketchy plot, which, for all its meagre bones takes a f-ck load of time to tell.
Hellboy II: The Golden Army (2008) was equally impressive. It also introduced a fully formed community of creatures and customs hiding alongside mankind. It did so with nonchalant aplomb. Nothing seemed irrelevant or forced. For two films with almost identical running times, Hellboy (2019) tells less of a story with way more waffle.
So, I did mention there were some positives. David Harbour is great. He’s dour, sarcastic, defiant and funny, he just has no engaging story in which to be all those things. Ian McShane is good as the father figure but he is overshadowed by memories of the late, unbelievably great John Hurt. The story of a witch trying to destroy mankind is solid fantasy movie gold and the unleashing of her plague late in the final act is suitably hellish; bizarre demons emerging from city streets and tearing humans limb from limb, it’s bloody wonderful and wonderfully bloody. They all could have come straight out of a Clive Barker fever dream. However, it’s too little too late, by this point in the story we’ve had too many cutaways, too much shoddy CGI, and Agent Daimio stinking up many a scene with his ‘will he won’t he’ turn into something rubbish… he does.
The worst part of all this is I don’t know if they can come back from this. The film may have sunk the franchise at least for the next few years.
I do however, look forward to a re-boot in a decade or so, if we haven’t all been assimilated by aliens, overrun by AI robots or decimated by a supernatural plague bought on by some witchy wench with an axe to grind.
THREE WORD SUMMATION: Big Red Turd.
I was initially a little concerned that we were getting a re-boot and not a direct sequel to Hellboy II: The Golden Army (2008), especially as it still seemed so recent and was so well made. I know it was over a decade ago but quality is timeless, yeah? Then David Harbour was cast and Neil Marshall announced as director. Great, thought I, an actor I like and a director who’s put out some solid genre material. I saw the first picture of Harbour as Hellboy and I was genuinely excited. I saw the trailer and again, excited. Then I watched the film.
Eurgh, where to start?
Firstly, Ian McShane’s initial voice over is clunky and ill fitting, then they throw in some b@llocks about King Arthur and Excalibur. I had my first wobble here, as some of the effects seemed less than special.
Cue opening titles.
The film starts with a Mexican wrestling match that is purely exposition to let us know Hellboy is a hard drinking and hard fighting anti-hero working for an organisation that deals with the paranormal. The make up for his vampiric opponent is also great (can’t fault the makeup department), but the scene seemed superfluous. We get the nubbin of the story forming now; some horrible witchy wench from way back when was cut into bits and flung around jolly old England to prevent her from spreading a right ‘orrible plague. Turns out a potty-mouthed Liverpudlian pig-monster is collecting said bits in the hope of putting her back together in exchange for his normal appearance. Scouse pig-monster is quite entertaining.
Hellboy goes to England at the request of an upper-class paranormal society to help them kill giants; this goes t1ts up. Again, this seems like unnecessary exposition to introduce Alice, a medium who he rescued as a baby, who now rescues him in a transit van. We also get introduced to M11’s Agent Daimio. There something wrong with him, he keeps injecting himself with a serum to stop something happening. I knew at this point we’d get to see what it was eventually, probably at a juncture where something is needed to rescue someone important. However, at this point I had a feeling it would be bad, I just didn’t know how bad.
There some more fighting, some good effects, some mediocre effects and some terrible effects. There’s some good one-liners, there’s some dull and/or terrible dialogue and then we get the film’s conclusion.
There’s something I’ve been putting off mentioning as I didn’t want the entire review to be about it, and it could have been; the witchy wench at the heart of all this paranormal consternation, Nimue, is played by Milla Jovovich and she is terrible. From when she first opens her mouth to her predictable demise, she is terrible. Terrible. TERRIBLE.
I love some of the Resident Evil films but all she’s required to do is some slow-motion scissor kicks and shoot zombies and zombie-dogs in the face. She is tolerated, rather than enjoyed. Here she is emoting, or at least I think that’s what she was going for, and as a depiction of an evil entity bent of the destruction of all mankind, she is, for want of a better word, cack.
David Harbour and the Hellboy franchise deserve better than this. To be blunt, the franchise has better than this and Mike Mignola should be a bit more f---ing precious with his creation.
Hellboy (2004) was genuinely exciting; it was an origin story that bought that story full circle for its thrilling and apocalyptical conclusion. It has a wonderful nemesis, great support and breath-taking visuals. The re-tread of the origin story in Hellboy (2019) is, again, one more unnecessary diversion from a sketchy plot, which, for all its meagre bones takes a f-ck load of time to tell.
Hellboy II: The Golden Army (2008) was equally impressive. It also introduced a fully formed community of creatures and customs hiding alongside mankind. It did so with nonchalant aplomb. Nothing seemed irrelevant or forced. For two films with almost identical running times, Hellboy (2019) tells less of a story with way more waffle.
So, I did mention there were some positives. David Harbour is great. He’s dour, sarcastic, defiant and funny, he just has no engaging story in which to be all those things. Ian McShane is good as the father figure but he is overshadowed by memories of the late, unbelievably great John Hurt. The story of a witch trying to destroy mankind is solid fantasy movie gold and the unleashing of her plague late in the final act is suitably hellish; bizarre demons emerging from city streets and tearing humans limb from limb, it’s bloody wonderful and wonderfully bloody. They all could have come straight out of a Clive Barker fever dream. However, it’s too little too late, by this point in the story we’ve had too many cutaways, too much shoddy CGI, and Agent Daimio stinking up many a scene with his ‘will he won’t he’ turn into something rubbish… he does.
The worst part of all this is I don’t know if they can come back from this. The film may have sunk the franchise at least for the next few years.
I do however, look forward to a re-boot in a decade or so, if we haven’t all been assimilated by aliens, overrun by AI robots or decimated by a supernatural plague bought on by some witchy wench with an axe to grind.
THREE WORD SUMMATION: Big Red Turd.
Purple Phoenix Games (2266 KP) rated 7 Wonders Duel in Tabletop Games
Oct 26, 2021
The original 7 Wonders was my #1 game of all time for a long while. While it has since dropped off my Top 10, I still have so many fond memories of it. Now, I know I am not breaking any stories here by finally reviewing its 2-player successor, but this game is really streamlined and fabulous. Obviously it is wonderful as it has earned the Purple Phoenix Games Golden Feather Award! But why do we love it so much?
7 Wonders: Duel is a 2-player tableau and engine-building card game set in the 7 Wonders game universe where players collect cards to create an engine to gain VP using any number of winning strategies. The game takes place over three ages and the player with the most VP at the end of the game, becomes victorious via military supremacy, or wins via scientific supremacy.
To setup, place the game board between the players with the green Progress tokens, Military tokens, and red Conflict pawn upon it. Shuffle the Age I cards and lay them according to the rule book (this formation changes for each age. Age I is setup in the photo below). Each player receives seven gold and they draft their Wonders according to the process in the rules.
On a turn the active player will choose one uncovered face-up card to be used one of three different ways. The card can be added to the player’s tableau and “built” by spending resources required, if any. The card may be discarded in exchange for coins totaling 2 + the number of yellow cards built in the player’s city. Lastly, the card may be used to build a player’s Wonder card by inserting it below the Wonder and paying the cost, as in 7 Wonders proper. The next player will then take their turn.
If on a turn a player builds certain card types into their city, special actions are taken. This happens as a result of building Military or Science cards. When a player builds a Military (red shield icon) card they immediately move the Conflict token on the board one space toward their opponent’s Capital (the end of the board closest to the opponent). Should a player force the Conflict token to reach their opponent’s Capital, the attacking player immediately wins! The other special action that can be taken is with a pair of Science cards being built. For every pair of like-symbol Science cards built, the active player may choose to take one of the Progress tokens from the game board and add it to their collection. These tokens can be very powerful, and just as in 7 Wonders proper, Science is a viable yet difficult strategy. Should a player build any six unique Science icons on cards they will immediately win!
If a Military or Science supremacy victory is not achieved, the game continues to Age II, where setup of the cards is different, but play remains the same. Similarly, Age III is setup differently still and has the added bonus of three random Guild cards, which may add significant strategic icons or abilities. At the end of Age III the players count their VP from the various sources listed in the rule book and the ultimate champion is then crowned!
Components. This game comes in a very small box, so the components are also quite small. I believe myself to have medium-sized man-paws and I have not had any issues with size of components. They are all very high quality, as is to be expected from Repos Production, and are fantastically illustrated. The Conflict token is enticingly menacing, and it lures me into concentrating on a Military victory every time I play. I need to just ignore it, but it’s so beautiful! All in all, the components are great, and even though the cardstock is relatively thin, my copy has withstood many plays and has seen very little wear and tear.
So 7 Wonders: Duel exists for all those players who love 7 Wonders but do not wish to play it with the 2-player variant rules. While Duel is certainly a little sibling, it is also its own beast of a game and should be treated as such. There are several key changes in rules for Duel, such as the trading with the BANK for missing resources upon building versus paying a neighbor to borrow their resource production. Also, the obvious change of adding a board with an ever-dancing Conflict token is unique to this title. Wonders are treated differently and instead of receiving one Wonder with three layers, Duels gives each player four Wonders with just one layer.
Aside from the differences between the two games, I do believe that if you are a fan of one you will also like the other. I can see, though, gamers who dislike 7 Wonders enjoying the smaller 7 Wonders: Duel. There is just something about being able to focus on one other player and agonizing over every turn so that your opponent receives a useless card from the offer, or taking every Military or Science card possible so as to end the game as quickly as possible. My brother, Bryan, greatly dislikes 7 Wonders, but he does not mind playing Duel, or at least that is what he led me to believe…
Myself, though, I think I still prefer original 7 Wonders, and I believe it is because I can soar through a game of it in under 15 minutes while holding a conversation with the other players (as long as they have played before and are very comfortable with the rules). Duels creates a more intimate feeling and eats up more of my brainpower. Purple Phoenix Games has awarded 7 Wonders Duel the coveted Golden Feather Award, so we agree that this is a fabulous game. If you have been waffling over grabbing a copy of Duels, please do yourself a favor and just purchase it! I promise you will have a great time with it, and if you end up disagreeing with me, let me know. We can play whatever you like next time we meet.
7 Wonders: Duel is a 2-player tableau and engine-building card game set in the 7 Wonders game universe where players collect cards to create an engine to gain VP using any number of winning strategies. The game takes place over three ages and the player with the most VP at the end of the game, becomes victorious via military supremacy, or wins via scientific supremacy.
To setup, place the game board between the players with the green Progress tokens, Military tokens, and red Conflict pawn upon it. Shuffle the Age I cards and lay them according to the rule book (this formation changes for each age. Age I is setup in the photo below). Each player receives seven gold and they draft their Wonders according to the process in the rules.
On a turn the active player will choose one uncovered face-up card to be used one of three different ways. The card can be added to the player’s tableau and “built” by spending resources required, if any. The card may be discarded in exchange for coins totaling 2 + the number of yellow cards built in the player’s city. Lastly, the card may be used to build a player’s Wonder card by inserting it below the Wonder and paying the cost, as in 7 Wonders proper. The next player will then take their turn.
If on a turn a player builds certain card types into their city, special actions are taken. This happens as a result of building Military or Science cards. When a player builds a Military (red shield icon) card they immediately move the Conflict token on the board one space toward their opponent’s Capital (the end of the board closest to the opponent). Should a player force the Conflict token to reach their opponent’s Capital, the attacking player immediately wins! The other special action that can be taken is with a pair of Science cards being built. For every pair of like-symbol Science cards built, the active player may choose to take one of the Progress tokens from the game board and add it to their collection. These tokens can be very powerful, and just as in 7 Wonders proper, Science is a viable yet difficult strategy. Should a player build any six unique Science icons on cards they will immediately win!
If a Military or Science supremacy victory is not achieved, the game continues to Age II, where setup of the cards is different, but play remains the same. Similarly, Age III is setup differently still and has the added bonus of three random Guild cards, which may add significant strategic icons or abilities. At the end of Age III the players count their VP from the various sources listed in the rule book and the ultimate champion is then crowned!
Components. This game comes in a very small box, so the components are also quite small. I believe myself to have medium-sized man-paws and I have not had any issues with size of components. They are all very high quality, as is to be expected from Repos Production, and are fantastically illustrated. The Conflict token is enticingly menacing, and it lures me into concentrating on a Military victory every time I play. I need to just ignore it, but it’s so beautiful! All in all, the components are great, and even though the cardstock is relatively thin, my copy has withstood many plays and has seen very little wear and tear.
So 7 Wonders: Duel exists for all those players who love 7 Wonders but do not wish to play it with the 2-player variant rules. While Duel is certainly a little sibling, it is also its own beast of a game and should be treated as such. There are several key changes in rules for Duel, such as the trading with the BANK for missing resources upon building versus paying a neighbor to borrow their resource production. Also, the obvious change of adding a board with an ever-dancing Conflict token is unique to this title. Wonders are treated differently and instead of receiving one Wonder with three layers, Duels gives each player four Wonders with just one layer.
Aside from the differences between the two games, I do believe that if you are a fan of one you will also like the other. I can see, though, gamers who dislike 7 Wonders enjoying the smaller 7 Wonders: Duel. There is just something about being able to focus on one other player and agonizing over every turn so that your opponent receives a useless card from the offer, or taking every Military or Science card possible so as to end the game as quickly as possible. My brother, Bryan, greatly dislikes 7 Wonders, but he does not mind playing Duel, or at least that is what he led me to believe…
Myself, though, I think I still prefer original 7 Wonders, and I believe it is because I can soar through a game of it in under 15 minutes while holding a conversation with the other players (as long as they have played before and are very comfortable with the rules). Duels creates a more intimate feeling and eats up more of my brainpower. Purple Phoenix Games has awarded 7 Wonders Duel the coveted Golden Feather Award, so we agree that this is a fabulous game. If you have been waffling over grabbing a copy of Duels, please do yourself a favor and just purchase it! I promise you will have a great time with it, and if you end up disagreeing with me, let me know. We can play whatever you like next time we meet.
Purple Phoenix Games (2266 KP) rated Aroma in Tabletop Games
Feb 20, 2021
Hello. My name is Travis and I have a big nose. It has always been big, and I used to tell people that it is so because I could smell so much better than everyone else. For a while this was partly true. However, as I age I find that I am less and less amazing than I thought I was when I was younger. Enter a game that revolves around actually using this schnoz and its wonderful ability and I thought I would have it in the bag! I was wrong. Again.
Aroma is a board game that originates from an essential oil company wishing to produce a board game utilizing its oils. Designer Odd Hackwelder then crafted a board game utilizing said essential oils that can be played four different ways. That’s right, Aroma is a game with four different play modes. Most of the modes revolve around the ability to guess the correct scent to score points. For this review I will be referencing rules for the Revolve mode with four players.
DISCLAIMER: We were provided a copy of this game for the purposes of this review. This is a retail copy of the game, so what you see in these photos is exactly what would be received in your box. I do not intend to cover every single rule included in the rulebook, but will describe the overall game flow and major rule set so that our readers may get a sense of how the game plays. For more in depth rules, you may purchase a copy online or from your FLGS. -T
To setup a game of Revolve each player will choose one of the themed player boards and bits from the following: Citrus, Trees, Plants, Floral. They will lay the boards touching in the middle of the table and their oil trays with essential oil bottles in front of them. Each player will also receive the wooden player token and scent tokens in their color. Place the wooden player tokens on the point tracker zero space and the game is setup to begin!
Revolve is played in rounds where each player will choose one of their oil vials from their tray, place its matching scent token face-down on their board and pass it to the player on their left simultaneously. The players then take the vials just given to them, smell the oils inside and try to guess its content scent by choosing the appropriate scent token and placing it face-down on the board in front of them as well. Play continues in this fashion until all players have smelled the vials from all players and made their guesses.
Players then flip over their scent tokens to compare what was given to them throughout the round and they will score points based on how many were guessed correctly. The players then choose a different vial and the process starts anew. The game ends at the end of the fourth round and the player with the most correct guesses is the winner!
Components. This game has pretty amazing components. The oil trays with the little oil bottles are great, but a little flimsy. The boards and scent tokens are thick, and the wooden player pieces are nice and medium-sized. The overall look of the game is very clean and colorful, reminiscent of the art style in T.I.M.E Stories, but with more colors and smells. Aside from the flimsy cardboard used in the oil trays, the rest of the components are top notch. I do have one gripe: the oil bottles themselves sometimes take quite a bit of effort to get the smell going. We tried manually rolling with our fingers, and the suggested technique of rolling on a sheet of paper (we used a paper napkin). The best way was to just drench oneself in essential oil by manually rolling the ball with one’s finger.
As a game Aroma’s Revolve is interesting and invokes feelings not normally used to describe board games. I have not played another game like it, nor one that I can remember using my sense of smell at all. For this point alone I feel attracted to Aroma. However, smelling all the scents over and over can sometimes get a little overwhelming for me. I KNOW what a lemon smells like, but when you pass around a vial and I sniff it, I feel like I am smelling lemon. When the card is revealed and it is actually grapefruit I just smelled I become frustrated. I guess I never realized how closely many things smell to other items in the same family. I like to reminisce about the first time I ever smelled pine, or its unmistakable scent down in my wood shop. But the pine scent in Aroma doesn’t really smell like pine to me. Maybe my snout is aging faster than I thought, but I am really no good at picking out some of these scents.
I have also played the Survive mode with just my wife and of course she always beats me. Survive is the only mode that is designed for two players, and I wish there were more. Getting together during the lockdown is difficult, and I game mostly with my wife. That said, on the rare occasion I got to play games with another couple in our quarantine pod I wanted to break Aroma out and try a different mode. Revolve is good, and Survive is good too, but I would prefer both with the full compliment of players.
If you are looking for something completely different for your collection, Aroma is it. I don’t know if it will make many gamers’ Top 10 lists, but it is so interesting to use the sense of smell in a board game that I think it is almost essential (see what I did there?). I mean that Aroma currently has no competition in the same space, so it will not be replaced by another similar game for quite some time, I’m sure. And what guest wouldn’t be impressed by playing a board game that includes 20 vials of essential oil? How novel is that, anyway? Purple Phoenix Games gives this one a lovely-sniffed 8 / 12. Do be warned: Aroma may accidentally perfume some other games it is stored near, but the scent is pleasant. At least I THINK it is. Now I’m doubting my ability to smell anything correctly.
Aroma is a board game that originates from an essential oil company wishing to produce a board game utilizing its oils. Designer Odd Hackwelder then crafted a board game utilizing said essential oils that can be played four different ways. That’s right, Aroma is a game with four different play modes. Most of the modes revolve around the ability to guess the correct scent to score points. For this review I will be referencing rules for the Revolve mode with four players.
DISCLAIMER: We were provided a copy of this game for the purposes of this review. This is a retail copy of the game, so what you see in these photos is exactly what would be received in your box. I do not intend to cover every single rule included in the rulebook, but will describe the overall game flow and major rule set so that our readers may get a sense of how the game plays. For more in depth rules, you may purchase a copy online or from your FLGS. -T
To setup a game of Revolve each player will choose one of the themed player boards and bits from the following: Citrus, Trees, Plants, Floral. They will lay the boards touching in the middle of the table and their oil trays with essential oil bottles in front of them. Each player will also receive the wooden player token and scent tokens in their color. Place the wooden player tokens on the point tracker zero space and the game is setup to begin!
Revolve is played in rounds where each player will choose one of their oil vials from their tray, place its matching scent token face-down on their board and pass it to the player on their left simultaneously. The players then take the vials just given to them, smell the oils inside and try to guess its content scent by choosing the appropriate scent token and placing it face-down on the board in front of them as well. Play continues in this fashion until all players have smelled the vials from all players and made their guesses.
Players then flip over their scent tokens to compare what was given to them throughout the round and they will score points based on how many were guessed correctly. The players then choose a different vial and the process starts anew. The game ends at the end of the fourth round and the player with the most correct guesses is the winner!
Components. This game has pretty amazing components. The oil trays with the little oil bottles are great, but a little flimsy. The boards and scent tokens are thick, and the wooden player pieces are nice and medium-sized. The overall look of the game is very clean and colorful, reminiscent of the art style in T.I.M.E Stories, but with more colors and smells. Aside from the flimsy cardboard used in the oil trays, the rest of the components are top notch. I do have one gripe: the oil bottles themselves sometimes take quite a bit of effort to get the smell going. We tried manually rolling with our fingers, and the suggested technique of rolling on a sheet of paper (we used a paper napkin). The best way was to just drench oneself in essential oil by manually rolling the ball with one’s finger.
As a game Aroma’s Revolve is interesting and invokes feelings not normally used to describe board games. I have not played another game like it, nor one that I can remember using my sense of smell at all. For this point alone I feel attracted to Aroma. However, smelling all the scents over and over can sometimes get a little overwhelming for me. I KNOW what a lemon smells like, but when you pass around a vial and I sniff it, I feel like I am smelling lemon. When the card is revealed and it is actually grapefruit I just smelled I become frustrated. I guess I never realized how closely many things smell to other items in the same family. I like to reminisce about the first time I ever smelled pine, or its unmistakable scent down in my wood shop. But the pine scent in Aroma doesn’t really smell like pine to me. Maybe my snout is aging faster than I thought, but I am really no good at picking out some of these scents.
I have also played the Survive mode with just my wife and of course she always beats me. Survive is the only mode that is designed for two players, and I wish there were more. Getting together during the lockdown is difficult, and I game mostly with my wife. That said, on the rare occasion I got to play games with another couple in our quarantine pod I wanted to break Aroma out and try a different mode. Revolve is good, and Survive is good too, but I would prefer both with the full compliment of players.
If you are looking for something completely different for your collection, Aroma is it. I don’t know if it will make many gamers’ Top 10 lists, but it is so interesting to use the sense of smell in a board game that I think it is almost essential (see what I did there?). I mean that Aroma currently has no competition in the same space, so it will not be replaced by another similar game for quite some time, I’m sure. And what guest wouldn’t be impressed by playing a board game that includes 20 vials of essential oil? How novel is that, anyway? Purple Phoenix Games gives this one a lovely-sniffed 8 / 12. Do be warned: Aroma may accidentally perfume some other games it is stored near, but the scent is pleasant. At least I THINK it is. Now I’m doubting my ability to smell anything correctly.
Mandy and G.D. Burkhead (26 KP) rated Sir Apropos of Nothing in Books
May 20, 2018
Shelf Life – Sir Apropos of Nothing Skewers the Hero’s Journey
Contains spoilers, click to show
Fantasy and satire are two of my favorite genres in any medium, but especially so in books. Satirical fantasy, then, holds a special place on my shelves. I grew up on Sir Terry Pratchett’s Discworld series, and desire to imitate him and his style is what led me in middle school to begin writing in earnest, for fun, and for myself rather than just for my teachers and their assignments.
So when I picked up Sir Apropos of Nothing, I did so based on the title pun and the back-of-the-book synopsis that promised “a berserk phoenix, murderous unicorns, mutated harpies, homicidal warrior kings, and – most problematic of all – a princess who may or may not be a psychotic arsonist.” I expected another lighthearted riff on the familiar archetypes. Murderous unicorns? Unicorns are not typically described as such! Oh teehee, how unexpectedly humorous!
Sir Apropos of Nothing is a satirical fantasy, just like it promised, though at times it’s hard to tell how much of the story is played for laughs and how much is played straight. See, the thing about satire that’s easy to forget at times is that it’s not synonymous with buffoonery. Make no mistake – Apropos is a funny book, full of witty dialogue and groan-inducing puns. It’s a book that takes great delight in lampshading traditional fantasy tropes and archetypes, as well as the entirety of Joseph Campbell’s Hero’s Journey idea. But it is not always a silly lampshade; sometimes a cliche or trope is pointed out to have its inherit ridiculousness laughed at, and sometimes it is pointed out because it is causing real and lasting pain or damage, either to the society in which it is set or, more often, to the titular Apropos himself and his ever-degrading esteem of both the people around him and himself.
The tone, at first, is hard to pin down. The story starts in media res with the main character being caught by a knight while in mid-coitus with that knight’s wife and escalates from there. The second chapter opens with a fourth wall-breaking narrative admission by Apropos himself that this was done with the express purpose of catching your attention, and now we’re going back to cover Apropos’s childhood, which ends up being equal parts dark, tragic, punny, and conveniently trope-filled – all of which Apropos, as narrator, approaches with the same resigned, blasé outlook.
If this sounds a bit jarring, well, it kind of is. Early on, I wasn’t sure what to think of where the story was trying to go or what I was expected to feel about it. After the first turn from cliché to dark and visceral to light and punny, all within a few pages, I caught myself thinking, “Crap, is this book gonna try and mix goofy jokes with serious drama and thoughtful moral quandary?”
The answer is yes. And it pulls it off fantastically.
This is due in large part to the interesting depths of the antihero, Apropos, who seems to be so named purely for the joke in the title. In Apropos we see a deep sense of justice and rightness that is entirely eclipsed by an even deeper cynicism and an unshakeable instinct for self-preservation. His life is objectively terrible, but rather than brood and lament, he adjusts. He keeps his head down when he can, weathers abuse when he can’t, and learns to deal with the constant shit storm, all the while bottling his growing anger and resentment at a world that would allow such amounts of suffering and hypocrisy to go unchecked. The fact that he himself becomes a selfish, hypocritical, and generally awful person is not lost on him, and the result is a flawed, unheroic, pathetic coward of a protagonist, a magnificently multifaceted bastard who doesn’t spare even himself from his vast and withering contempt.
And it’s a blast. It really is. Apropos is refreshingly pragmatic and unabashedly pessimistic, a welcome change from the typical righteous-yet-humble heroes of traditional fantasy, or even the loveable and untalented everyman in over his head of traditional fantasy spoofs. Despite a portentous birthmark (on his ass, no less) and beginnings that are not “humble” so much as “poverty of the dirtiest kind,” Apropos is everything a hero should not be short of outright evil.
And this, as it turns out, is entirely the point. This is where the satire, funny or otherwise, really shines through. This is the crux that elevates Sir Apropos of Nothing from a generically self-aware fantasy story to an original and memorable subversion of storytelling as a whole.
Without giving too much away, there comes a point in the plot where Apropos realizes that the events surrounding his miserable life are part of a heroic tale that has been preordained by Fate and is now being epically written out by Destiny. And despite his birthmark, his tragic past, and his mother’s constant reassurances that he has some sort of great destiny hovering over him, he is not the hero. He is only a minor character. A walk-on role on the hero’s stage. A brief pit-stop along the hero’s journey. An NPC whose dreams, desires, and continued existence are so far below importance to the story as to be utterly negligible.
And once this finally clicks with him, he violently, brazenly rebels against it. He gives an emphatic middle finger to Fate’s ideas and sets about making Destiny sit up and take notice of him again. He momentarily and violently overcomes his own abject cowardice just long enough to find a way to completely wreck the traditional heroic ballad in which he lives, all on the basis that, dammit, the world owes him more than this, and nobody should be so miserably cursed as to live their entire life as a foil character.
At this point in my own reading, I didn’t know whether to cheer him on or worry about the repercussions of his actions, because he doesn’t suddenly become heroic when this happens. He’s exactly as much of a selfish, lying bastard as before, and however bad you feel for him, you can completely understand why he was never cast for this role in the first place. Add to this the complete disregard of the author for following what seems to be the obvious progression of events in favor of twists that take you completely by surprise, but still make complete sense and arise organically from the story itself, and you eventually give up thinking that you have any sense of where the story’s going or how any event is going to play out. From beginning to end, it feeds you familiar ideas and then completely subverts them, introduces clichés and then proceeds to tear them apart, and you laugh and pity and feel something the entire way through.
In short, Sir Apropos of Nothing is a book that will keep you turning page after page – not necessarily because of the gripping drama (although it has that) or because of any breezy humor (although it has that too), or because the narration itself oozes suspense (although it often does), but because, with the rapid infusion of new and creative ideas and the hidden depths of character constantly bubbling to the surface in everyone involved, you honestly never know what’s going to happen next. If you like fantasy and can stand to have your expectations messed with, Apropos is certainly apropos.
So when I picked up Sir Apropos of Nothing, I did so based on the title pun and the back-of-the-book synopsis that promised “a berserk phoenix, murderous unicorns, mutated harpies, homicidal warrior kings, and – most problematic of all – a princess who may or may not be a psychotic arsonist.” I expected another lighthearted riff on the familiar archetypes. Murderous unicorns? Unicorns are not typically described as such! Oh teehee, how unexpectedly humorous!
Sir Apropos of Nothing is a satirical fantasy, just like it promised, though at times it’s hard to tell how much of the story is played for laughs and how much is played straight. See, the thing about satire that’s easy to forget at times is that it’s not synonymous with buffoonery. Make no mistake – Apropos is a funny book, full of witty dialogue and groan-inducing puns. It’s a book that takes great delight in lampshading traditional fantasy tropes and archetypes, as well as the entirety of Joseph Campbell’s Hero’s Journey idea. But it is not always a silly lampshade; sometimes a cliche or trope is pointed out to have its inherit ridiculousness laughed at, and sometimes it is pointed out because it is causing real and lasting pain or damage, either to the society in which it is set or, more often, to the titular Apropos himself and his ever-degrading esteem of both the people around him and himself.
The tone, at first, is hard to pin down. The story starts in media res with the main character being caught by a knight while in mid-coitus with that knight’s wife and escalates from there. The second chapter opens with a fourth wall-breaking narrative admission by Apropos himself that this was done with the express purpose of catching your attention, and now we’re going back to cover Apropos’s childhood, which ends up being equal parts dark, tragic, punny, and conveniently trope-filled – all of which Apropos, as narrator, approaches with the same resigned, blasé outlook.
If this sounds a bit jarring, well, it kind of is. Early on, I wasn’t sure what to think of where the story was trying to go or what I was expected to feel about it. After the first turn from cliché to dark and visceral to light and punny, all within a few pages, I caught myself thinking, “Crap, is this book gonna try and mix goofy jokes with serious drama and thoughtful moral quandary?”
The answer is yes. And it pulls it off fantastically.
This is due in large part to the interesting depths of the antihero, Apropos, who seems to be so named purely for the joke in the title. In Apropos we see a deep sense of justice and rightness that is entirely eclipsed by an even deeper cynicism and an unshakeable instinct for self-preservation. His life is objectively terrible, but rather than brood and lament, he adjusts. He keeps his head down when he can, weathers abuse when he can’t, and learns to deal with the constant shit storm, all the while bottling his growing anger and resentment at a world that would allow such amounts of suffering and hypocrisy to go unchecked. The fact that he himself becomes a selfish, hypocritical, and generally awful person is not lost on him, and the result is a flawed, unheroic, pathetic coward of a protagonist, a magnificently multifaceted bastard who doesn’t spare even himself from his vast and withering contempt.
And it’s a blast. It really is. Apropos is refreshingly pragmatic and unabashedly pessimistic, a welcome change from the typical righteous-yet-humble heroes of traditional fantasy, or even the loveable and untalented everyman in over his head of traditional fantasy spoofs. Despite a portentous birthmark (on his ass, no less) and beginnings that are not “humble” so much as “poverty of the dirtiest kind,” Apropos is everything a hero should not be short of outright evil.
And this, as it turns out, is entirely the point. This is where the satire, funny or otherwise, really shines through. This is the crux that elevates Sir Apropos of Nothing from a generically self-aware fantasy story to an original and memorable subversion of storytelling as a whole.
Without giving too much away, there comes a point in the plot where Apropos realizes that the events surrounding his miserable life are part of a heroic tale that has been preordained by Fate and is now being epically written out by Destiny. And despite his birthmark, his tragic past, and his mother’s constant reassurances that he has some sort of great destiny hovering over him, he is not the hero. He is only a minor character. A walk-on role on the hero’s stage. A brief pit-stop along the hero’s journey. An NPC whose dreams, desires, and continued existence are so far below importance to the story as to be utterly negligible.
And once this finally clicks with him, he violently, brazenly rebels against it. He gives an emphatic middle finger to Fate’s ideas and sets about making Destiny sit up and take notice of him again. He momentarily and violently overcomes his own abject cowardice just long enough to find a way to completely wreck the traditional heroic ballad in which he lives, all on the basis that, dammit, the world owes him more than this, and nobody should be so miserably cursed as to live their entire life as a foil character.
At this point in my own reading, I didn’t know whether to cheer him on or worry about the repercussions of his actions, because he doesn’t suddenly become heroic when this happens. He’s exactly as much of a selfish, lying bastard as before, and however bad you feel for him, you can completely understand why he was never cast for this role in the first place. Add to this the complete disregard of the author for following what seems to be the obvious progression of events in favor of twists that take you completely by surprise, but still make complete sense and arise organically from the story itself, and you eventually give up thinking that you have any sense of where the story’s going or how any event is going to play out. From beginning to end, it feeds you familiar ideas and then completely subverts them, introduces clichés and then proceeds to tear them apart, and you laugh and pity and feel something the entire way through.
In short, Sir Apropos of Nothing is a book that will keep you turning page after page – not necessarily because of the gripping drama (although it has that) or because of any breezy humor (although it has that too), or because the narration itself oozes suspense (although it often does), but because, with the rapid infusion of new and creative ideas and the hidden depths of character constantly bubbling to the surface in everyone involved, you honestly never know what’s going to happen next. If you like fantasy and can stand to have your expectations messed with, Apropos is certainly apropos.
Paul Kellett (118 KP) rated The City of Kings in Tabletop Games
May 1, 2019
Great artwork (2 more)
Tons of content
Great for solo play
A bit fiddly (1 more)
Some scenarios are incredibly hard
A new take on the adventure game
The City of Kings is a tactical fantasy adventure, with procedurally generated monsters and some neat Euro mechanics. Frank West, the designer, has come up with a game that is massive in scope while being really simple to play and offering tons of replayability.
Set in an as yet unknown land, you take control of a hero (or, as this will be a solo focused review, a minimum of 2 heroes) to try and free the lands of the evil armies of Vesh Darkhand. The main story plays out over 7 stories, each with 4 chapters and 2 optional endings (Heroic & Legendary). There are also a bunch of stand-alone missions not tied to the main story.
The game is nothing less than stunning. The components are all top quality and the artwork is luscious. If you spring for the Deluxe version, you also get shaped wooden components for the resources as well as storage trays and some really useful plastic overlays to keep your character's stat cubes in place.
The game plays really smoothly. The rulebook is well laid out and gives the main rules in easily referenced sections. There is also a separate glossary which lists all the different creature abilities, location types, quest types and special tokens. This keeps the rulebook free of clutter and lets you learn about the different things as you play, giving the game a sense of mystery as you will be finding new things for many games to come. It's also really easy to open up and look up a skill.
The character sheets look intimidating but are wonderfully functional and quite intuitive as you start playing. Each character starts off the same, but as you kill monsters, complete quests and progress through the chapters, you will gain experience which lets you upgrade one of the several stats on your character sheet. This lets you customise your character and will make each play subtly different. You could go for attack and become the party's "tank" or you could focus on boosting your workers and be the one responsible for gathering the resources needed to buy better weapons or armour.
Each character also has a skill tree where you can gain different abilities unique to that character. With 12 different abilities and the restriction of only being able to pick up to 3 each game, it will take a good many games to try out the different combinations.
You get to perform 4 actions each turn and as well as being able to move your character across the map, you also start with a little worker that you can send out to the various resource locations on the map (when you have explored and found them) to gather the resources needed to purchase better equipment.
All (or most) of the map tiles will be face down at the start of the game, so you will be moving out of the city and exploring as you go, but when you flip over a monster spawn tile, you get to the meat of the game.
Unlike every other fantasy game, this is not your usual hack and slash, stand there and kill everything affair. This is more like a game of chess, you will need to be cunning and tactical to be able to survive and win.
You won't be facing the standard fantasy monsters, rather you will draw an enemy tile which will give you a description of the mob (yes, you are fighting groups at a time) you have encountered and then you will draw a stat card. These are numbered so after a couple of games you will know the basic stats of the next monster and be ready for it.
This sounds like it would become terribly repetitive, but each time you spawn a monster, you also have to assign abilities to it. these abilities are drawn from one (or more) of 3 bags containing Easy, Medium and Hard abilities so while you may know that the monster will do 4 damage and have 16 health, you won't know if it will spit poison at you, pull you into it's clutches or make you flee in terror. Or any number of other nasty things.
Line of sight, movement and combat is only done orthogonally, so as long as you are not in a straight line of the creature's range, you can leave him alone while you go about completing quests to either complete a chapter or to get the skills and equipment needed to defeat the beast.
On the whole it works very well. As is the nature of random token draws, you occasionally come across something that is just way too much to deal with and you will struggle to beat it, but that's all part of the fun.
I keep mentioning quests and equipment. There are two massive decks of cards, one you draw from when you interact with the quest location on the map. This will give you a quest that could be killing a monster, gathering a specific amount of a certain resource or, if you have the Deluxe upgrade, a dexterity quest. These are cool, you have to stack the wooden shapes in a tower without them falling :) and if you succeed you will gain XP and sometimes equipment.
The equipment deck is not quite a big as the quest deck, but still contains a load of cool tems which will be set out ready for you to purchase from the town or any discovered shop. To buy these you will need to have your worker running about the map harvesting the various resources scattered about the land and once you have enough, you can equip your heroes with mighty weapons and armour.
Be warned though, you can't just amble about the land at your leisure as each chapter has a strict time limit and if you have failed to complete your objectives by the time the clock strikes midnight after however many days you have been given, then the city will lose hope and you will fail. This makes for a very challenging experience where you need to work as a team and harmonise your skills to get the most efficient party.
Playing solo, you have to control a minimum of 2 characters, but it is not a complex task unlike a lot of other fantasy games. You don't have stacks of cards to shuffle through or tons of abilities or special rules to remember, just two character sheets with all the information easily seen and remembered. Depending on whether you play a single mission or a full story, the game will take between 1 and 2.5-3 hours and will offer a challenging tactical experience and a great narrative adventure that will be different every time.
This is such a good game and plays brilliantly as every player count (1-4) with different enemy stat bars to balance the threat against the number of players. Back on Kickstarter for a second printing along with some new expansion content, this should be on every gamers' shelf if you are a fan of great story driven fantasy games.
Set in an as yet unknown land, you take control of a hero (or, as this will be a solo focused review, a minimum of 2 heroes) to try and free the lands of the evil armies of Vesh Darkhand. The main story plays out over 7 stories, each with 4 chapters and 2 optional endings (Heroic & Legendary). There are also a bunch of stand-alone missions not tied to the main story.
The game is nothing less than stunning. The components are all top quality and the artwork is luscious. If you spring for the Deluxe version, you also get shaped wooden components for the resources as well as storage trays and some really useful plastic overlays to keep your character's stat cubes in place.
The game plays really smoothly. The rulebook is well laid out and gives the main rules in easily referenced sections. There is also a separate glossary which lists all the different creature abilities, location types, quest types and special tokens. This keeps the rulebook free of clutter and lets you learn about the different things as you play, giving the game a sense of mystery as you will be finding new things for many games to come. It's also really easy to open up and look up a skill.
The character sheets look intimidating but are wonderfully functional and quite intuitive as you start playing. Each character starts off the same, but as you kill monsters, complete quests and progress through the chapters, you will gain experience which lets you upgrade one of the several stats on your character sheet. This lets you customise your character and will make each play subtly different. You could go for attack and become the party's "tank" or you could focus on boosting your workers and be the one responsible for gathering the resources needed to buy better weapons or armour.
Each character also has a skill tree where you can gain different abilities unique to that character. With 12 different abilities and the restriction of only being able to pick up to 3 each game, it will take a good many games to try out the different combinations.
You get to perform 4 actions each turn and as well as being able to move your character across the map, you also start with a little worker that you can send out to the various resource locations on the map (when you have explored and found them) to gather the resources needed to purchase better equipment.
All (or most) of the map tiles will be face down at the start of the game, so you will be moving out of the city and exploring as you go, but when you flip over a monster spawn tile, you get to the meat of the game.
Unlike every other fantasy game, this is not your usual hack and slash, stand there and kill everything affair. This is more like a game of chess, you will need to be cunning and tactical to be able to survive and win.
You won't be facing the standard fantasy monsters, rather you will draw an enemy tile which will give you a description of the mob (yes, you are fighting groups at a time) you have encountered and then you will draw a stat card. These are numbered so after a couple of games you will know the basic stats of the next monster and be ready for it.
This sounds like it would become terribly repetitive, but each time you spawn a monster, you also have to assign abilities to it. these abilities are drawn from one (or more) of 3 bags containing Easy, Medium and Hard abilities so while you may know that the monster will do 4 damage and have 16 health, you won't know if it will spit poison at you, pull you into it's clutches or make you flee in terror. Or any number of other nasty things.
Line of sight, movement and combat is only done orthogonally, so as long as you are not in a straight line of the creature's range, you can leave him alone while you go about completing quests to either complete a chapter or to get the skills and equipment needed to defeat the beast.
On the whole it works very well. As is the nature of random token draws, you occasionally come across something that is just way too much to deal with and you will struggle to beat it, but that's all part of the fun.
I keep mentioning quests and equipment. There are two massive decks of cards, one you draw from when you interact with the quest location on the map. This will give you a quest that could be killing a monster, gathering a specific amount of a certain resource or, if you have the Deluxe upgrade, a dexterity quest. These are cool, you have to stack the wooden shapes in a tower without them falling :) and if you succeed you will gain XP and sometimes equipment.
The equipment deck is not quite a big as the quest deck, but still contains a load of cool tems which will be set out ready for you to purchase from the town or any discovered shop. To buy these you will need to have your worker running about the map harvesting the various resources scattered about the land and once you have enough, you can equip your heroes with mighty weapons and armour.
Be warned though, you can't just amble about the land at your leisure as each chapter has a strict time limit and if you have failed to complete your objectives by the time the clock strikes midnight after however many days you have been given, then the city will lose hope and you will fail. This makes for a very challenging experience where you need to work as a team and harmonise your skills to get the most efficient party.
Playing solo, you have to control a minimum of 2 characters, but it is not a complex task unlike a lot of other fantasy games. You don't have stacks of cards to shuffle through or tons of abilities or special rules to remember, just two character sheets with all the information easily seen and remembered. Depending on whether you play a single mission or a full story, the game will take between 1 and 2.5-3 hours and will offer a challenging tactical experience and a great narrative adventure that will be different every time.
This is such a good game and plays brilliantly as every player count (1-4) with different enemy stat bars to balance the threat against the number of players. Back on Kickstarter for a second printing along with some new expansion content, this should be on every gamers' shelf if you are a fan of great story driven fantasy games.